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  • File : 1298783979.jpg-(147 KB, 550x480, battle owl.jpg)
    147 KB Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)00:19 No.14058013  
    dont know were to post this, but this happend 5 mins ago

    >walking back from my quest to get the forever awake potion
    >see a drunken old man returning from his quest to the tavern
    >as Im walking by, i puff out my chest and say "How goes your evening quest my Friend"
    >the drunk says back to me "Wut?"
    >so i repeat myself with more bravodo "HOW goes YOUR evenling quest to the TAVERN my FRIEND"
    >to which he replies "its going good, i am homeward bond now"
    >and i say, "have a merry trip back to thy keep, friend"

    he then turned to me, and yelled, "thank you for making my night kid"

    anyone have simular storys were you rp'd irl
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)00:25 No.14058078
    i know im not the only one who does stupid shit like this
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:27 No.14058100
    Unless you are. It's entirely plausible.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:29 No.14058124
    >just come back with my friends from being undead historians with bb guns in Afghan War era fatigues and shit
    >at the 7 Eleven where the clerk is some Russian expatriate who thinks we're hilarious
    >getting slurpies
    >some fat redneck walks up to us and thanks us for our service of defending America in Afghanistan
    >we're all in Soviet uniforms covered in soviet patches and we've been talking to the Russian clerk about the Soviet Union the entire time this guy has been in here
    >all shake his hand anyway and he goes on his way
    >Russian clerk laughs his ass off after the guy leaves and makes comments about stupid Americans
    >probably made the guy's day anyway and one of us was in the service and went over there anyway, so whatever
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:31 No.14058145
    I sometimes like to pretend I am in sum cute anime and I make ^_^ faces at everyone and if they are confused I just laugh for I am so kawaii and they are so baka (^o^)
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:31 No.14058146
    Random encounters thread? Random encounters thread.

    One night when my friend and I were returning from our weekly game session, there was a man in a gorilla suit on the front steps of our dorm. Keep in mind that it was about 1 AM by this time, and the middle of winter.

    He hopped up on top of a garbage can as we walked past, cocking his head to the side a bit at our DnD books. No one said a word.
    >> -|- Reichsguard -|- !!Q3opPDaKzPo 02/27/11(Sun)00:36 No.14058201
    I went outside two days ago. I had to buy some food. There were people there, everywhere. Dozens of other human beings. Freaky.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:37 No.14058207
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:39 No.14058233
    >Go to car in the morning a few years ago to go to work
    >Open door
    >There's a motherfucking hobo sleeping in the back seat
    >He bolts out the back door when he sees me
    >Nothing is missing from the car

    Fucking hobos
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:40 No.14058238
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    So... random encounter thread?
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)00:40 No.14058244
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:43 No.14058265
    I once parked behind a building to go to a bar, there was a hobo sleeping there. He woke up, I asked if it was okay if I left my car there, He agreed, I gave him five bucks. I got back, everything was in order and he was asleep.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:43 No.14058270

    Holy fucking shit that's awesome. Real life PC for sure.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:44 No.14058287
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:47 No.14058324
    That may be the greatest thing I've read on 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:52 No.14058391
    If she actually believed it it probably gave her some unjustified high hopes, wouldn't you think so?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:53 No.14058393

    That from 420chan?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)00:54 No.14058402
    She probably wouldn't belive it, unless she got a phone call "Mom i'm pregnant! <3"
    >> The Pancake !!PgUYT0U0BMV 02/27/11(Sun)01:02 No.14058495
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    >Walking home from work.
    >Roll 1 for spot check, walk up to raccoon sitting on top of garbage can.
    >Make eye contact with raccoon.
    >Roll 20 for diplomacy
    >....Let's be cool here.
    >Raccoon nods, continues eating.
    >Alright then.
    >> снайпер 02/27/11(Sun)01:08 No.14058554
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    Man, usually I just come running out of my house with some pots and pans and an hatchet to scare them off.

    Fucking racoons.
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:12 No.14058604
    got a random encounter

    >walking home from school a few years back
    >jean jackek, ripped blue jeans, got long hair (big fan of 80's metal)
    >car pulls up beside me, bunch of black guys in the car looking angry
    >think "oh shit, im going to get jumped or some shit"
    >all the windows on the car roll down
    >they turn up the music , the song on is "Ride the lightning - Metallica"
    > im like "fuck yeah!"
    >one guy yells out, your all right White boy"
    >they proceed to drive away
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:14 No.14058628
    Racial harmony.

    Love it.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:17 No.14058684
    that's fucking awesome
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:22 No.14058746
    >Walking home one night at about 10pm
    >Road is Dark and mostly empty, unusual for that time of night
    >Two guys start coming up the road on bicycles
    >The stop and look at each other before coming closer
    >"Oh shit, he is from [Schoolname]"
    >They ride off
    >> Snapper Carr 02/27/11(Sun)01:27 No.14058819
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    This was a while ago but...

    >Walking home from class
    >Wearing Superman shirt underneath button up jacket because fuck yeah confidence
    >Pass by bus, girl trying to get her bike into bike rack at front of the bus
    >"Whatevs, she'll probably get it"
    >Look back, she still doesn't have it in the rack, no one's helping her
    >Pull of glasses, stuff in jacket pocket
    >Open jacket, revealing Superman S underneath
    >"Need some help?"
    >"... Yes please"
    >Put it in bikerack
    >Walk away without another word

    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:34 No.14058910
    >Walking home from party late one evening
    >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing
    >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as shit
    >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood
    >Oh shit, my ass is about to be beaten
    >Still in talking phase
    >Lights flick on in the house
    >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out
    >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent
    >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!"
    >Guys start yelling at them to fuck off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten
    >"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!"
    >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts
    >Guys run
    >"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!"
    >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics
    >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there
    >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident
    >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat

    I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:41 No.14058982
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:45 No.14059029
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    for posterity.
    >> warnsbargTheRetailFag !!zklBGYZv989 02/27/11(Sun)01:45 No.14059035
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:47 No.14059054


    Please tell me you still have the hat.
    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:48 No.14059059
    thanks for the storys guys, im turning in for the night
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:48 No.14059060
    It was weird. I still go drinking with them on occasion. They actually got picked up by the cops once for pulling shit like that.

    In greentext format;
    >Wandering around with unsharpened fencing sabers, full musketeer gear at 2AM
    >Looking for parties just breaking up, fights
    >Bitches love musketeers apparently; Swedish accents just get more ladies
    >Find a fight
    >Whip out sabers, demand they break things up "In the name of Karl XVI Gustav!"
    >Oh shit police
    >Everyone's getting arrested
    >Jens uses only phone call to order Chinese food; curses for five minutes when they won't give it to him
    >Best 600$ fine ever
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:49 No.14059084
    Goddamn you people have awesome stories.

    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:51 No.14059105
    Fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:02 No.14059238
    >Homeless guy riding a bike
    >Points his finger at my friend like an imaginary gun
    >Says "Bang" and fakes recoil on his gunhand
    >Friend grabs his chest and slumps over.
    >Homeless bike guy, in thick eastern European accent: "Ha HA! I come from space!"
    >He rides away
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:06 No.14059286
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    postin just cause I love these threads:

    >delivering pizza to huge project block type building full of insane old people, retards etc.
    >get in elevator
    >quasi homeless looking guy in wheelchair with a cane across his lap and a old ass marines hat.
    >go up a floor or two and stop
    >doors open, some down syndrome looking guy
    >"oh hey gary hows it going!?" he says
    >wheel chair vet immediately starts smacking the *close door* button with his cane
    >doors close
    >he turns to me and says "I fuckin hate that guy"
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:10 No.14059324
    >> Thirteen years old, cranking heavy metal off the front porch at five in the afternoon.
    >> Have motorists beeping at us to keep it down.
    >> one biker goes past doing a wheelie, throwing up the horns.
    >> a minute later he comes back down the otherside of the road, doing it again.

    It was pretty cool, but then the cops showed up and had us turn down the music.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:11 No.14059336
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:13 No.14059365
    Alright I got one
    >Friend of a friend dd'ing mine and mutual friend home
    >Driver's a real solid dude, real wingman.
    >Our buddy's passed out in the backseat
    >Douchebag neo-nazi guys pull up next to us listening to real fluffy techno shit w/ really heavy bass,
    >DB swerves and nearly hit's us
    >Wingman starts swearing, honking his horn
    >DB give us the finger which is promptly returned
    >DB pulls out a FUCKING bat and knocks off the mirror
    >Wingman nothing but hate at this point asks me for the windshield scraper
    >Wingman Duels with the Douchebag, parries the bat and raps the guy on the knuckles, DB drops the bat
    >We turn into a neighborhood with Wingman and myself giving the finger as a goodbye
    >tfw they get beaten inna road duel by a 125lb black kid
    >spend rest of night rocking
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:24 No.14059479
    >going to public toilet to take a leak
    >middle-aged homeless black guy with half moon spectacles at the urinals too
    >while I'm doing my business he turns to me, penis in hand, and accurately guesses my ethnic background (mixed race here)
    >starts ranting about communists (I don't know why)
    I still see him in the library every now and then. He's always surrounded by stacks of paper and several english dictionaries.
    >> Alpharius 02/27/11(Sun)02:27 No.14059507
    >Big guys weekend down in NYC, hotel near ground zero an Uncle works for so we get in for cheap.
    >Meet my dad's awesome girlfriend for the first time, hot swedish chick.
    >Eat at a bitchin' steakhouse, have Uncles, psuedo-uncles(Family friends etc)
    >Stay up way too late and miss the baseball game they were going too.
    >Smaller group of us (A bunch had to go home) eat out at this restaurant down near Battery park that my dad learned of from his GF.
    >His GF shows up with a friend and they sit with us for a bit, they leave we eat, good times are had.
    >We are walking along by the water, we head back to look at the yachts and crap anchored by the resurant.
    >Two women in the dark we hear saying "Get away!" and the like as if someone was harassing them, it's dark in a park so the worst is assumed.
    >We all look over, the assailant turns out to be some mexican guy, barely over 4 feet tall.
    >We tell him to get lost, girls thank us.
    >He keeps following us and shouting insults, I break down laughing my ass off at the absurdity.
    >He starts getting defensive shouting "WAHS SO FUNNEH?" I just lower my hand towards the ground and laughing out "Pequeno!" and "Nano" he follows for a bit, my Uncle asks if he can swim, turns out he can't, dwarf tossing is mentioned and he eventually leaves.

    And that's the story of my encounter with Stumpy the Rapist Midget.
    >> warnsbargTheRetailFag !!zklBGYZv989 02/27/11(Sun)02:31 No.14059555
    Next Gnome I play will be called...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:33 No.14059573
    My life is too boring, so I'll steal a story from the life of my friend Dave. Dave is well off, but very opinionated, and doesn't have an off-switch for his mouth when he's drunk.

    >Dave is at a party.
    >Dave is enjoying himself at the party and is enjoying the plethora of liquid refreshments available.
    >Dave spies something not often seen in the wild.
    >Dave meets Gary Busey at this party.
    >Dave approaches Gary Busey and says:
    "Mr Busey, I just want to thank you for the years of work you've spent acting and bringing enjoyment to people. You are an exceptional actor, but my god you have HUGE teeth."
    >That is the story of how my friend Dave was bitch-slapped by Gary Busey.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:38 No.14059616
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    >one of us was in the service and went over there

    Non-militaryfag detected...
    for future reference, we say "prior service" and "downrange", not "the service" and "over there"

    polite sage for off-topic post.
    >> Evil !!rEkSWzi2+mz 02/27/11(Sun)02:52 No.14059693
    >Riding on bus home late from university
    >Girl talking with old native guy a few seats in front of me
    >Girl gets off and a minute later the old native guy asks if he can sit across from me
    >Don't see why not and oblige him
    >He asks me a question about why people avoid talking on the bus
    >Give best answer I can
    >He seems satisfied with my answer
    > He tells me what he talked to that girl about
    > Did an aura reading on her and guessed exactly what she had done earlier that day a native literature class, watched a video on the Pow Wow
    > I was in that class too actually but I don't mention it
    > He offers to do an aura reading on me
    >Stares at me for about 20 seconds and then says I'm hard to read
    >Does a little chant for about 30 seconds
    >Opens his eyes from his chant and tells me I have a very strong aura, so much that it pushes some people away because they can't deal with it on a spirtual level
    >Says whatever I want I'm likely to get because it is my nature, by the time you are 32 you'll have everything in life you could want
    >You'll meet a blond girl, although younger then you and she'll come onto you, curious about you
    >Bad news is you'll die in your late 40s
    >I shrug off that comment
    >Come to terminal where we both get off
    >He seems harmless so when we say goodbye I shake his hand
    >He is almost crying just from the physical contact saying I am a real man then he walks away
    >Never see him again ever
    >"Did I just become the chosen one with an epic destiny of something?"
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)02:54 No.14059705
    The phrasing of the sentence made you aware the guy wasn't a member of the military, rather than, say, the part where he indicated that a single person with him was? Bloody good show.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:00 No.14059737

    I'm kinda jealous.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:03 No.14059755

    "We believe you've already met a blond, in the metaphorical and misogynist sense."
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:06 No.14059783
    >Work in a truck stop restaurant
    >Do good, become manager, nice enough salary, whatever.
    >Some old dude in antiquated army fatigues comes in
    >Doing my business, paperwork, inventory, etc
    >Server is crying, Army Man at fault.
    >Never dealt with a problem customer, came from Back of House
    >"Alright, sug, I got this."
    >Stand in "The U" (some what of a bar-esque thing) look at him and smile
    >"The fuck are you looking at, kid"
    >"An old, angry man who takes his aggression out on seventeen year old girls"
    >He calls me everything from an asshole to a nigger (Im white, by the way)
    >I just smile.
    >Eventually he shuts up, lowers his head, pays his bill, and takes his food to go.
    >"Alright, kid, you win. Tell the blond girl I'm sorry."
    >He leaves a 10$ tip, and leaves peacefully
    >Just another grave shift.

    I think I must have rolled pretty high on my Diplomacy check to have beaten him with a smile.

    ...I really wish I had a cooler random encounter story.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:12 No.14059824
    You were strong when you could have done nothing, and that makes you mighty.
    >> warnsbargTheRetailFag !!zklBGYZv989 02/27/11(Sun)03:15 No.14059845
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:17 No.14059857
    >...I really wish I had a cooler random encounter story.
    No need. You already have one.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:19 No.14059877
    >riding my motorcycle up to otakon, been on the road for four hours
    >wearing big ugly hiking pack with my costume and clothes in it, wooden sword strapped to outside
    >bandanna under helmet
    >enter gas station, take off helmet, start to fill tank
    >notice some guy staring at me from store
    >car full of loud black people pull up next to me, start yelling at me as I finish filling the tank
    >say something about the sword
    >look the leader in the eye
    >put hand on sword handle
    >he shuts up
    >stare at them while I put helmet back on, ride out of gas station
    >guy gives me thumbs up from store
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:20 No.14059880
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    Well done.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:20 No.14059881
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:21 No.14059886
    I met my doppelgänger on a train station.
    I was getting off a train, he was waiting for another. We had the same hairstyle, both were bearded. Exact same height, exact same appearance. I walk up to him, probably looking a little spooked. He looks up, gets the same spooked expression on his face.
    In the end we talked a bit, both were equally weirded out by seeing a random stranger who could be their identical twin. As his train came in, we exchanged contact info, just for the sake of it.
    His first name is the same as mine. :(
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:25 No.14059905
    Hey, thanks /tg/. I always forget what bros you guys are until I come back.

    Forever fight the good fight. Expect naught reward nor thanks. Every good deed, every word kept is bound to a mans soul, and when he must sell his life, all the better that it fetches a high price.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:27 No.14059914
    >Hanging with friends
    >Realize we have no snacks
    >Friend lives a mile from a McDonalds
    >Weather looks fine
    >We begin our trek
    >We're all soaked
    >McDonalds is apparently not open 24/7, as we had anticipated
    >Gooch calls his girlfriend for a ride
    >We (Two 6'6" tall dudes and one 5'7" guy) crawl into her Mustang convertible
    >Feels like a clown car
    End part I

    >We drive to Safeway, which is a few blocks away
    >Stock up on soda, donuts, chips, etc, etc.
    >Go to the only open register, since it's now around 1am
    >There's a guy behind us
    >I'm paying
    >My friends are bagging our stuff, and begin laughing
    >Cashier says "You need to pull your pants up"
    >I raise an eyebrow
    >"Come again?"
    >"Not you"
    >He looks at the guy behind me
    >I look at his face. Guy looks homeless.
    >I refuse to look down.
    >Pay for food.
    >Leave Safeway
    >Gooch says "Dude.
    >"That guy's dong was out."
    >"That guy's dong was out. Like, not even the head. Just the shaft and balls. No way it wasn't intentional."
    >I stare at him for a minute
    >We turn back
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:31 No.14059937
    >I'm having a beer in a Denver strip club.
    >A cute blonde gives me a professional smile and leans towards me.
    >Her necklace bops me in the nose.
    >I reach up and push it away. Then I notice the pendant on the necklace.
    >"That's not an upside-down cross!" she says quickly.
    >"Course not," I reply. "It's the hammer of Thor."
    >I got a date with her.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:34 No.14059964
    Variant from my friend's facebooks, RE them always running into each other on the same saturday morning trams:

    >Stalky stalky stalky
    >Wild ***** appeared! >>RUN >>> CAN'T ESCAPE!
    >Wild ***** used pat! It's super-effective! :D
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:34 No.14059971
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:40 No.14060001
    ...no, not the kind you smoke
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:41 No.14060006
    thanks for thread elegantgentlemen
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:42 No.14060017
    He could also be a Limey, which is in the same ballpark as your statement but not *quite* the same thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:44 No.14060020
    That was pretty smooth, bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)03:48 No.14060040
    I got a couple, one from last night, another from a few weeks ago. I work security in a hotel garage in cincinnati, right on the river.

    Last night
    >doing my rounds
    >see drunk guy stumbling around, peeking into cars, making noise.
    >as I approach, he makes death threats to what I assume is his reflection
    >ask if there's something I can help him with.
    >says it's creepy in his room
    >he starts mumbling something, I try to usher him to the elevators. He reluctantly walks to them
    >continue patrol
    >hear him again
    >peek around corner to watch him
    >he's pissing on the hood of a frikkin jaguar
    >approach again, he gets aggressive and throws a punch
    >totally misses, runs to other hotel
    >call police, watch him get cuffed and dragged into the car
    >> Ork Kommando Naile 02/27/11(Sun)04:06 No.14060158
    >Working at Knotts Scary Farm for Halloween.
    >Need to be sign holder for a year before training for monster.
    >Go to bathroom for break.
    >Next to bathroom is huge fuckoff wall 25 feet tall studded with spikes along the top.
    >Black guy drops next to me out of nowhere.
    >He looks at me.
    >I look at him.
    >Go our separate ways.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)04:23 No.14060299
    And the one from a couple weeks ago:
    >have to wear suit and tie to work
    >30-something couple in the elevator I take
    >woman is drunk off her ass
    "Hey, are you one of those secret agent guys? Do you have a gun!?"
    >without turning my head or looking at them, I calmly state:
    "Ma'am, I'm not allowed to discuss that matter at this time."
    >woman gets this OHSHI- face
    >raise wrist to my mouth, mutter:
    "Subject is suspicious, use caution"
    >man shares the OHSHI- face
    >at that moment, doors opened to my floor
    >calmly say
    "Have a nice evening."
    >they never see me again

    Dunno what compelled me to do that.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)04:28 No.14060341
    >Dressed as an IRA terrorist (black wool cap, dark glasses, scarf over nose and mouth)
    >driving to party, pull up to a stop light
    >lady in the car on my right is staring, I can see her out of the corner of my eye
    >slowly turn my head toward her
    >she immediately snaps on her turn signal and makes a right on the red
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)04:28 No.14060344
    Well, I guess I got one.

    >Canadian Armoured Recce Reservist
    >Last segment of basic training in CFB Edmonton (SQ for those of you whom it means anything to)
    >Our master corporal decided to do something interesting for our section level recce evaluation. Turns out we're being evaluated on how effectively we infiltrate the base starting at the airfield, working our way through the barracks district, and examining the warrant's mess, where there is a wedding going on
    >Just shy of midnight
    >Entire thing feels like it came out of a fucking movie, getting driven out in a cold war era tarp-backed logistics truck and all
    >get through most of the base without incident
    >moving through barracks district
    >Patrol is heading along the front wall of one of the buildings
    >halfway through, we hear one of the doors click as someone is about to open it
    >I'm in the middle of the patrol, right in front of the fucking door
    >Rest of patrol all has either decent cover or darkness, I'm right in front of the front door light
    >drop next to the concrete steps, freeze
    >Two guys, two girls leave building
    >Natural 20 stealth check
    >They leave without noticing me right next to them
    >Afterwords get a grin and a thumbs up from my master corporal who had been nothing but a hardass for most of the month

    Time skip one week.

    >Look at course paper at the end of the field exercise
    >Under "Exceptional" category, only entry: "Stealth".

    And that's how I got written proof, signed by a Sergeant, a Lieutenant, and a Colonel that I'm a stealthy bastard.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)04:32 No.14060381
    >Wear tie and sweater vest downtown for interview
    >Walking around downtown Victoria at 8:30
    >Homeless guy strts following me
    >Another few join in
    >They don't say or do anything, just follow cautiously at a distance
    >I look like some sort of pied piper walking down the street
    >Get to place I was walking to
    >Stop, turn around
    >They're not saying anything and have stopped about 15 feet away
    >Can't think of anything witty to say
    >Turn back around and enter building
    >They disperse

    It made me uncomfortable at first, but they seemed harmless enough.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)04:43 No.14060465
    Okay, so me and my group were playing a bunch of Soldiers, we were doing a patrol in Iraqistani village about 100yd^2. We had heard there were some insurgents running about and we had been tasked with rooting them out. So the platoon leader tries to talk to the village leader as he's the only one with Speak Language (Derkaderkajihad) and I'm posted outside the hut. Well about ten minutes after they start talking one of our squads start taking automatic rifle fire on the other side of town in the village square, so we start legging it and it turns out they're taking fire from the West and we're approaching from the South. We take one of the back alleys around the side and flank the OPFOR taking out the automatic rifleman and ten other insurgents with weapons. Then our Battery Commander told my Training Platoon we were done with Freedom Town and launched into an After Action Report, signaling the end to my first LARP in the Army.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:00 No.14060579
    never change /tg/ - these stories are AWESOME

    my story:

    >I'm the danish LARPfag

    see advert on local LARP forum asking for ppl to email some casting agency your pics, to try out for a TV ad

    >i email them some pics

    >a couple weeks later I'm in for casting

    >they love me with mouth

    >a month later I'm at the shooting of the ad

    >two weeks later I'm on TV

    >girls at parties come up to me "hey you're that guy from TV"

    >I get paid 8000 for it (about 1500$) for two hours work while wearing my LARP armor

    the youtube: youtube.com/watch?v=ewUxUFgmUgg

    feels very good man
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:02 No.14060597
    Hey, bro, sorry to interrupt the thread, but I was pretty sure I was the only person who said "love 'x' with mouth". Where did I get that from? I really hope you know.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:06 No.14060616

    i think that i got it from that animation "Email" about some animated blob going totally hyper over sending himself email...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:08 No.14060633
    rolled 1 = 1

    can we get a translation of this please?
    >> possum time Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:10 No.14060646
    the raccoon story reminds me of a night I was emptying some trash and ran into a possum in the back yard.
    Thing was huge I did not know they got that big.
    standing on it's hind legs it was easily 1.2meters tall
    (3 and a half foot for the Americans here)
    cold as shit that night I shined my flash light on it (battery OP Qbeam) and there was crazy amounts of steam rising from it.
    just stood there and watched me toss the trash.
    kinda wish I had taken a pic of it now.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:13 No.14060671
    Entirely possibly the root of this retarded saying of mine. Been using it since I was in my early high school years, easy. Had totally forgotten where it came from. Thanks for that. May you have much luck in your future endeavors, bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:14 No.14060683
    >living in downtown Toronto
    >wearing a Green Lantern hoodie due to /co/mmon /mu/tan/tg/aming interests
    >walking past a Starbucks
    >see man running out of Starbucks
    >man is running at me
    >Uh. Hi.
    >Man rips open his jacket. He is wearing a Flash uniform underneath his clothes
    >Suddenly four of his friends show up and drag him away from me by force, apologizing and asking me to reassure him that he is not in the Justice League and that I am not as well
    >I instead decide to response with "GODSPEED, WALLY WEST. GODSPEED."
    >He breaks free of their grip and runs screaming off down the street at full-fucking speed

    That's my extent.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:16 No.14060694
    That was no possum son, that was chupacabra. Agents are in bound to your destination. Remain inside until they arrive. Close all doors and windows.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:16 No.14060696

    its all good


    certainly: I am simply talking about a danish discount cellphone carrior called "M1" going "I thought I had the cheapest I could get, but then I found M1" - then comes a sales pitch and me in my armor doing my thing with my latex double-axe... and at the end they added a phone-ringing noise while I go "Oh shi- now i have to take this off again"
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:22 No.14060723
    Brofist to you for knowing which Flash is the best Flash.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:36 No.14060818
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    >> Soth !!knPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)05:54 No.14060909
    cant sleep /tg/ got another story

    >walking down the street a few days back
    >random guy is walking towards me
    >just as im about to pass him he tells me
    >"be careful, dark forces are at play"
    >I keep walking and turn my head back to look at him, thinking "What?"
    >walked into a streetlamp wile my head was turned
    >he looks back and said "told you so"

    i was not amused
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)05:55 No.14060914

    you saw the light :3
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)06:02 No.14060952
    >Staggering home from the wrong Halloween party ("You're not Chris. Where am I?")
    >So drunk I can't stand, miserable because I ate cheese and am lactose intolerant.
    >Stomach flips about.
    >Run into the local cop.
    >Underage at the time.
    >Apparently he doesn't know that, because
    >I hunch over and vomit in the ditch, practically sobbing
    >He comes over, rubs my back, says "Easy buddy, you're going to be just fine."
    >Gives me a ride home.

    Seperate incident:
    >Hung over.
    >Feel awful.
    >Lost for an hour.
    >Hey, I know this road!
    >Do 65 in a 50 zone.
    >...get pulled over.
    >I admit I just wanna go home.
    >"Tell ya what. We commute this same road here every day. I'll let you off with a warning."
    >Promise to go the speed limit, get sent on my way.

    >Update car registration.
    >Paperwork gets held up at the DPS.
    >On my way to work the next day.
    >"Is that cop following me?"
    >Pulled over.
    >A state trooper this time.
    >"Can I see your license and registration?"
    >Here ya go.
    >He checks it out, everything's copasetic.
    >He sees my PADI sticker.
    >We talk, he scuba dives too.
    >Let off scot free, introduced to my new scuba shop, getting my nitrox license.

    Cops like me, I have no idea why.
    >> Frosted Weasel !!dLUhj2yYgMt 02/27/11(Sun)06:14 No.14061002
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    Prior service 11B, here. I still think that, no matter who says it, that "down range" is one of the gayest things you can say. Only superseded by that moto "HUA" bullshit. Just had to get that off my chest. And "deployed" works just as well. However, this is just my opinion, and you are entitled to yours, brother.

    Wish I had something to contribute, but I really can't think of any random encounters in my life at the moment.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)06:31 No.14061071
    you must be white
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)06:34 No.14061086
    Canadians, Canadians everywhere.

    Amoured Recce Reservist? Cool stuff. I've been thinking of signing up for 6 Engineer Squadron (reserve squadron in Vancouver area). If I ever move back to Edmonton, I'd sign up for 25 Engineer Squadron or if I get bored of my work, just sign up full time with 1CER.

    Random encounters:
    >waiting for bus
    >20 on a spot check
    >see movement in corner of eye
    >raccoon walking past
    >stops, takes a look at me
    >keeps walking

    >walk into university's starcraft club, who are recruiting and advertising for a tourney they're holding
    >tell him I haven't played since years, and only played the first game
    >implying it matters
    >just got greentexted in real life

    I found that a little awkward.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)06:34 No.14061088
    because the cop didn't beat him up?
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/27/11(Sun)06:44 No.14061122

    Engineers are by far the best corps if you want to join up to just do some novel shit. I remember the day I got bored and decided to join the aarmy, I was looking at the lists of corps tasks to choose one. I knew the Engineers were for me when I saw this huge list that basically contained everything I had always wanted to do but didn't want to get arrested for.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)06:53 No.14061149
    Fuck yeah.

    >build shit
    >destroy shit
    >shoot at shit
    >get shot at by shit
    >improvise like a motherfucker
    >drinkdrinkdrink because you're an engineer
    >be awesome
    >deal with usual military bullshit

    I got everything there, right?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)06:59 No.14061173
    You forgot one thing.

    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:03 No.14061192
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:10 No.14061219
    Ausfag Infantryfag here. Engineers are rocking those boys are probably the best outside of grunts to hang around with. Always wanted to go assualt pioneer but my battalion doesn't have them. :( Instead I"m stuck commanding a shitty 50 year old APC. Well at least when I join medics it will have girls.....
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:26 No.14061276
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:26 No.14061278
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    >> Cops Love Me 02/27/11(Sun)07:28 No.14061283
    Side note: been mistaken for hispanic and middle-eastern frequently. Get stopped in airports all the time, because young man with olive skin and black hair. I'm not a dick to the police, if that helps, but otherwise I have no idea.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:30 No.14061300
    >I'm not a dick to the police
    that right there is why.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:40 No.14061338

    >friends decide we should go into town "suited up"
    >k lol
    >to make it interesting, decide to pretend we are of the organized crime persuasion
    >walk in formation
    >2 big guys covering rear, myself in middle since I looked most business like
    >sat in corner of bar, kept talking in "hush hush" tones, looking around
    >spent fair amounts of money
    >entire evening got treated with respect and unusual levels of courtesy, which we returned as part of being "professional"
    >At one point got told I looked like a Consigliere
    >felt like a boss

    Rather tame but felt pretty awesome. We were pretty much RPing irl. Came up with codenames which we stuck to as well. Mine was Courtyard.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:47 No.14061363
    3am Gatwick airport, i've just got off the plane from egypt [2008btw]
    My luggage is the first off the plane, grab it and start walking.
    Get to customs and realise I've had a pair of climbing axes strapped on my carryon luggage and passed through 2 sets of security checkpoints carrying them openly.
    I'm the only person in the customs queue, say hi to the inspectors, flash a smile and keep on walking.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)07:57 No.14061419
    >Sharp implements
    >not raped six ways by authority figures
    I call bullshit. You could hurt somebody with those! Like, an assailant, or a burglar!
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)08:07 No.14061486
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)08:17 No.14061558
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    So for Halloween me and my friend decided to go as 80s business guys, probably because we'd subsequently read American Psycho and watched that episode of futurama, (pic related).

    >Wear huge sunglasses, suspenders, shirt and tie and slick hair back with ridiculous amounts of gel.
    >Spend all night chatting about the stock market, Price Waterhouse, Phil Collins and the Safety Dance
    >Talk on enormous cellphone that I found in my attic.
    >Confuse the fuck out of everyone present who didn't know what the hell we were doing.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)08:21 No.14061580

    Somewhat similar ideas here. Courtyard here, wish I had some people I could pull the 80s one off with.

    Always wanted to try being a group of Victorian gents as well, with dress canes of course.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)08:23 No.14061597
    80s guy here
    I've done the victorian one, unfortunately without canes, all we had were top hats and suits. I can't remember much, it was one of those things that started after we'd already had a lot to drink.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)08:27 No.14061618

    Ah dang, bet it was good too.

    I have always wanted an excuse to wear a fez as well.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:06 No.14061886
    Was random encounter recently.

    >Heading back to car from cafe after lunch break.
    >Spot Noisy Miner birds
    >hell yeah I love those birds
    >wander up to them
    >they clear some room but don't fly away
    >I follow one as it heads along the path - it's going my way, why not?
    >Asian lady catches sight of me
    >"...Are you following that bird?"
    >She's laughing
    >I just grin broadly, nod, go on my way
    >for the record my little bird buddy did not fly away until other people came along
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:10 No.14061916
    >>Playin paintball
    >>Loose friends in confusion
    >>End up at the very front-lines
    >>Peek out a shoot a few rounds, realize were winning
    >> apparently look like I know what I'm doing
    >> Turn around
    >>see 12 players looking at me expectantly
    >>Guy near me says 'wat do?'
    >>'FOR THE EMPEROR!' Raise gun and charge out.
    >>12 players follow me guns blazing.
    >>'Wat do' guy shouts 'IN HIS NAME!'
    >> Other half of the game winning charge.
    >>Make 40k bro, exchange contact info.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:11 No.14061921
         File1298815895.jpg-(32 KB, 417x295, NoisyMiner_Zarni02.jpg)
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    what Noisy Miners look like, for non-Aussies
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/27/11(Sun)09:18 No.14061955

    It's always impressive how furiously people try to keep themselves 'alive' in the games, to the point where they actually just get themselves more likely to be shot. A little bit of bollocks works wonders. Knowing how to actually fight is better, if you have the people to back you. Last time I was at paintball it was with five other guys from Army Reserves. Having that little bit of knowledge and confidence basically made the six of us just steamroll everyone, until we came up against actual competitive paintballers who had automatics and about ten thousand rounds apiece. There's only so much section-level tactics can do when your entire lot combined puts out fewer rounds than one of them.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:23 No.14061974

    Dude, thats a pretty hardcore little bird. Has to be I guess to live in the Outback.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:31 No.14062028
    It lives in Australia? It's probably poisonous as fuck. Or can turn its beak into giant flesh-ripping mandibles of destruction. Or something like that. EVERYTHING in Australia will try to kill you if it gets the chance.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:33 No.14062037

    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:33 No.14062040
    >Walking to bus stop minding my own business. >Homeless looking guy walks up to me and asks me what time it is.
    >Tell him 'The hour of two and thirty'
    >Replies 'Thank ye kindly'
    >I half nod-bow
    >He returns it
    >as he leaves I shout 'fare thee well'

    coolest homeless guy I ever met.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:46 No.14062113
    >be cynical early in life
    >a gipsy woman grabs my wrist and offers a free palm reading
    >annoyed, I accept after she insists several times.
    >"You will meet a blonde brunette. You will have problems with her every single day and she's not perfect, some days you'll find yourself almost being a father rather than a lover! But you'll love each other very much."
    >I roll my eyes
    >"Thanks, granny, you just told a love story including 99.9% of the Portuguese female population."
    >I leave, but leave a 2€ coin.
    >mfw 15 years later I understand that she didn't mean a blonde or a brunette woman, she meant what you British/Americans call Auburn, a mix of blonde and brunette.
    >mfw she's adorable, I love her very much but every day it's a test of my patience to live up with certain innocent but good-hearted crap.
    >mfw I have no face.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:49 No.14062133
    Should have given him some money to see if he changed his voice from a pitiful croak to talking regularly when you asked him about rumors or something.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)09:55 No.14062163

    I would pay a bum £10 just for that. Seriously.

    "spare a couple of pennies mate?"

    *offer 10p*

    "I have heard that the MP of West Midlands is taking bribes from a polish mob!"
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)10:17 No.14062255
    Random encounter

    >On tour with a band in Melbourne, few hours before gig dressed like a 70s businessman/gangster.
    >Stop at a pedestrian traffic light and see a really interesting dog staring at me.
    >I stare back.
    >Dog cocks its head to the side and continues staring at me
    >I take off my sunglasses and stare at the dog in the eyes.
    >For some reason this exchange seems weirdly meaningful.
    >Light goes green and I notice the girl walking the dog has been staring at both the dog an I.
    >I get embarrassed and she starts laughing at me while she walks away.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)10:45 No.14062362

    Um...auburn is between red and brunette. I think you've found what we call a dirty blonde.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)10:54 No.14062397
    Needs MOAR random encounters
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)11:10 No.14062471
    >lived in an old farming community.
    >went for midnight walks because I liked the stars
    >walking stick looks more like a staff, because I'm fucking twelve and obsessed with fantasy books
    >fucking MOUNTAIN LION strolls out of some bushes looking really starved (they were all over the place)
    >stare at it, trying not to piss my pants
    >turns around and stares back, then growls
    >slam my stick on the ground and shout a battle cry
    >Intimidation roll failed
    >thing stares at me like I'm an idiot, then goes running off through a field
    >go out with a larger stick and belt knife every night after that
    >think I'm a badass
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)11:18 No.14062541
    I have a really really leftwing friend who has a character he likes to call "50's Dad" where he goes around pretending to be bigoted and really conservative/rightwing(think /int/ troll in real life).
    His escapades include;
    Dressing up in a dirty tank top/shorts walking around my high school threatening to belt people, taking off his belt where his pants slowly start falling down.
    Singing "Tomorrow belongs to me" in public places.
    Randomly at parties(usually really artsy parties) striking up conversations starting with "unions have too much power", going through "well george bush wasn't that bad" and ending with "everything would be ok if the muslims just stayed over in paki land"
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)11:29 No.14062651
    >Driving in cousin's sports car
    >windows up
    >Mohawks of Power charged to full (we were like 17)
    >Scarlet Pimpernel -> Madam Guillotine at max on his new sound system
    >black girls drive up next to us
    >hear the bass, not the song
    >start bobbing heads and making "fuck yea!" and "rock on!" motions with hands
    >light turns green
    >roll down the window a little just as the opera hits a crescendo
    >belt out a note to match the singer at the top of my lungs and hold it for just as long as we drive off
    >black girls do a double take
    >cars behind them honking as they don't drive with the green
    >fuck yea opera
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)11:47 No.14062830

    >guy on the opposite team brags about how he just got out of boot
    >during game, am behind cover with my shitty $45 single-shot low accuracy rifle trying to give cover for teammates jumping from spot to spot
    >see dude on his belly trying to crawl prone to avoid fire
    >surrounded by hills
    >"Dude, that only works if you're on level ground! With low ground you just make a bigger target!"
    >dude jumps to his feet and starts running
    >"There you go!"
    >shoot him in the face anyway
    >only 'kill' I make that round
    >Boy Was His Face Red
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)11:54 No.14062894
    Reminded of something I saw a few years ago on the news

    >Guy in black leather trenchcoat, sunglasses, short spiky hair
    >Pinned to a wall and surrounded by police
    >Has a naked katana in one hand, and an automatic rifle strapped to his back that he hasn't touched
    >Man is very calmly explaining to several dozen armed and paranoid police how he's "Just protecting us from demons."
    >Cops keep trying to talk him down. Guy seems more annoyed than worried. Explains that "He's not hurting anyone. Just demons."
    >One cop jumps out with a 12' STEEL LADDER and smacks the katana out of his hand, not hitting the guy at all.
    >Guy looks at the sword and sighs, looks at the cop still brandishing a LADDER at him
    >Cop shrugs
    >Guy hits the connector for his gun harness, lets it fall, and sighs impatiently as they arrest him

    Poor guy. Was just trying to do the right thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:00 No.14062959
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    >pull into grocery store park next to woman with hood up sitting in car on phone.
    >roll window down ask whats the problem?
    >claims car wont start, so i hop out and take a look.
    >immediately see loose battery cap shout "praise the ommisiah!" and slap the cable back into place
    >she starts car gives me wtf look
    >say the machine spirit just felt under appreciated and needed some tlc
    >mfw a week later see her back at store shout "praise the ommnisiah!" and start her car.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:10 No.14063058
    >mfw machine spirits love THC
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:19 No.14063143
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    Eh, what the fuck, I've had these saved for a while now and I really don't want to do my work.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:21 No.14063152
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:22 No.14063172
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    Some of these will be reposts of encounters in this thread b/c I thought they were funny.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:23 No.14063188
    >13, in middle school
    >Visiting a friend's class, skipping my own, teacher knows me and is cool dude.
    >Incredibly hot girl comes to sit in front of us
    >"Hey Devin, who's your new friend?"
    >Look at her, give what I think is suave look
    >"Me? I go by many names. Which one would you like?"
    >Teacher walks up and puts a hand on my shoulder
    >"Sir, you're needed in the war room please. There's a matter of utmost importance that needs your attention."
    >Try to re-learn how to breathe
    >Leave the room with teacher to the hallway
    >Teacher and I burst out laughing
    >He gets her number for me
    >Best teacher ever
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:24 No.14063190
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:26 No.14063215
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:27 No.14063231
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:27 No.14063234
    Not really the best, but what the hell.

    >First night in Seoul, I leave my hotel and head down to the bar district
    >See, "The Rocky Mountain Tavern" with a Canadian flag on it, feeling homesick so I go in.
    >Bunch of other Navy guys from my ship, and Expats, I'm feeling homesick so I stay.
    >Downstairs if full of Canadian Memorabilia and they have bottles of Moosehead. (Haven't even seen Moosehead since I moved from NS to BC)
    >Upstairs is a battle of the bands, between three Tragically Hip coverbands.

    Still with me? Good

    >Later in the night the rest of the Navy guys leave because one of them took a drink from someone and is now raving about Tempus and people smoking spiders eggs.
    >2am and I'm am alone, drunk, and standing in downtown Seoul with no idea how to get to my hotel,
    >Fuck it! Taxi came from this direction, lets start walking.
    >1 hour later there I am eating ice cream with a tongue depressor, and listening to Stan Rogers on my mp3.
    >Look around and see I am surrounded by red light, and there are a bunch of women behind plate glass windows
    >Yep, a literal red light district
    >Start to turn around when two Korean guys grab my shoulders and drag me into one of the buildings
    >Bunch of bored looking women standing there one guys starts pointing at them going "pick one, pick one" while the other guy goes through my wallet
    >Guy going through my wallet says something to the other one, they have a conversation over my head
    >Guy motions one of the girls over, she says in English, "Sorry they didn't know you were Canadain,"
    >I say I just want to get back to my hotel
    >I get directions back, and a pat on the ass to send me on my way.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:29 No.14063250
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:30 No.14063258
    One of the downtown ones? You poor bastard. Which one?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:31 No.14063271
         File1298827913.png-(39 KB, 750x408, crazy_neckbeards.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:32 No.14063278

    This is actually pretty normal. I've been told that if I travel to other countries, that I should (being American) wear a Canadian flag somewhere on me so that I don't get robbed, raped, stabbed, or worse. Probably all of the above. The rest of the world fucking hates Americans, but thinks we're fucking rich. If they think you're Canadian, they fucking love you.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:33 No.14063285
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:33 No.14063286
    Another "gamer in a strip-club story".

    >I get to talking to a pretty dancer.
    >She tells me her name was Kali.
    >I (mentally) reach for a copy of "Dieties and Demigods"
    >I say, "You're not mean enough -- and you don't have enough arms."
    >She blinks. Laughs. Gives me a big kiss.
    >Nice girl.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:34 No.14063297
         File1298828092.png-(8 KB, 523x232, dark_forces_at_play.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:36 No.14063317
         File1298828209.png-(7 KB, 529x166, ding!_weve_a_winner.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:38 No.14063332
    Yeah over time its become apparent, but still for a guy growing up in a really small town, and that being one of my first experiences overseas, it was fucked up.

    And you're right about the whole America/Canada thing.
    >Ship broken down stuck in Shanghai for a week,
    >Every day end up drinking at the same bar
    >That friday american ship pulls in, I find a bunch of Americans at 'my bar'
    >Drink for free the entire night because the staff was charging the Yanks double.

    Someone really should let your boys drink at sea again. But I'm being off topic and I apologize.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:39 No.14063337
         File1298828346.png-(17 KB, 707x364, fart_on_chillun.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:39 No.14063348
    Here's one.
    >work at a summer camp
    >setup week before all the kiddies get there
    >it's about 4:30PM
    >walking around
    >rabid raccoon in the garbage can
    >run the FUCK away, go get another older guy (I was 16 at the time, gimme a break)
    >He shouts a mighty battle cry, runs inside his cabin, comes out with this wicked-ass looking tool, I think he called it a brush ax
    >proceeds to decapitate the raccoon and make a hat out of the pelt
    >never fucked with that guy ever
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:40 No.14063350
         File1298828439.png-(8 KB, 460x232, fucking_Romanians....png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:42 No.14063362
         File1298828520.png-(12 KB, 654x249, gringo.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:43 No.14063379
    MOAR random encounters. More Game influences on real life.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:43 No.14063381
    Mm. Delicious scalp rabies.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:43 No.14063382
         File1298828609.png-(12 KB, 853x249, gun_near_crotch=baaad.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:45 No.14063412
    >in restaurant-type thingy in the middle of a mall with my mother
    >for the past five minutes have been hearing a high pitched 'squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
    >eating a muffin
    >look up
    >floppy rubber flying condom rocket is hurtling down towards me
    >shit bricks
    >try to retreat
    >topple chair over backwards, knock food and drink off table, end up wedged horizontally still in my chair against a partition
    >three dudes run up, laughing their ass off
    >everyone's laughing their ass off
    >i'm laughing my ass off
    >pick me up, shake my hand, sort out the table
    >run off
    >never see them again

    That was embarrassing, but also hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:46 No.14063418
         File1298828790.png-(17 KB, 945x333, IMHISBATTLEBUDDY.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:47 No.14063429

    They actually strongarmed you in? Geez, in Hwaejong they just sprinkle brothel-cards on the pavement.

    In fact I don't think I've ever seen a Korean attack someone else, except for that one time a drunk guy was beating on another, drunker guy while the cops half-heartedly tried to talk him out of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:49 No.14063442
         File1298828960.png-(3 KB, 184x172, 1298414490674.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:49 No.14063445
         File1298828983.png-(10 KB, 623x248, McDonalds_managers.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:52 No.14063466
         File1298829120.png-(4 KB, 459x121, NYC.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:52 No.14063471
         File1298829158.png-(30 KB, 800x500, 1289508031477.png)
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    Foro nce im proud of being swedish, epic tale is epic.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:52 No.14063472
         File1298829161.png-(11 KB, 923x290, paner_stickup.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:54 No.14063493
         File1298829253.jpg-(34 KB, 300x356, fur-trapper-hat.jpg)
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    I was about to say I haven't had any good irl random encounters, but then I remembered this from a month back.

    >Waiting for the bus at a station, east/west lanes divided by fence.
    >Black guy on my side looking nervously at other
    >I see cop waving him over
    >Black guy weaves into crowd, gets onto same bus I am through the middle doors.
    >He heads for back seats.
    >Yell at him as he runs past me "YOU. OFF. NOW.", while pointing at the doors off the bus
    >I'm wearing a ridiculous hat like this:
    >He shits a brick and runs off bus, getting caught up on the closing doors enough for 5 cops to capture him.

    Lawful Good motherfuckers.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:54 No.14063495
         File1298829255.png-(12 KB, 926x217, raining_poop.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:55 No.14063506
         File1298829349.png-(9 KB, 518x251, random_encounter.png)
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    >> excellent spectre 02/27/11(Sun)12:56 No.14063508
         File1298829362.jpg-(92 KB, 750x563, 1294484829597.jpg)
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    mynah. MYNAH rot you. they're from india. anyway.

    >Into town with friend and her boyfriend for birthday
    >All hammered.
    >Arrive in town, park in multi-story carpark
    >Boyfriend and boyfriend's brother need to piss
    >Friend and I debark at ground floor, moving away swiftly
    >Boyfriend and brother begin pissing
    >Guard on duty at booth by lift speechless with rage as lift door closes and they disappear back up into the night.
    >Us? With them? Hell no.

    >Same night.
    >Really drunk, want to go home.
    >Run across road in front of horrible student bar on saturday night
    >Clipped by taxi that doesn't even bother to slow down
    >Snap roll into gutter, return to feet.
    >2 Maori dudes stare in awe. "Bro you just got hit by a car!"
    >"I know."
    >Pass FNP, sprint back to hall of residence at top speed, drunkenly phone friends to let them know have been hit by car.
    >Awake next morning with no after effects whatsoever.

    >In territorials, in uniform, walking down the terrace in wellington.
    >Sergeant has been busting ass about saluting any superior officer (everyone.)
    >Arrive at zebra crossing.
    >Recognise commander NZ army across other side of road, also in uniform.
    >Salute across road as traffic passes.
    >Passers-by successfully confused by military.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:56 No.14063514
         File1298829388.png-(21 KB, 887x365, random_encounter0.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:58 No.14063537
         File1298829511.png-(27 KB, 889x173, random_encounter2.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:58 No.14063540
    >In the Army.
    >Running a tiny ammo facility at a tiny camp.
    >Two NCOs drive up and I help them load smoke, pyro, and ammo.
    >All the time, they're talking about optimizing their D&D characters.
    >One Sergeant had a dwarf Fighter. The other had a half-elf Ranger.
    >One of their sons is running the game.
    >I made a few weapon and equipment suggestions.
    >They take notes.
    >A week later, one of them catches me in the supply room, hands me a six-pack of beer, and says, "Thanks".
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:59 No.14063544
         File1298829543.png-(18 KB, 889x285, random_encounter1.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)12:59 No.14063558
         File1298829599.png-(13 KB, 890x203, random_encounter3.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:00 No.14063566
         File1298829638.png-(52 KB, 887x648, random_encounter4.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:01 No.14063571
    Are you White?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:01 No.14063575
         File1298829682.png-(41 KB, 887x665, random_encounter5.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:02 No.14063583
    Fucking awesome story. Wish I had a friend like that.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:02 No.14063585
         File1298829740.png-(25 KB, 888x541, random_encounter6.png)
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    Has been asked. He is a man with "olive skin and dark hair."
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:06 No.14063630
    >6 of us walk 3 miles from university to one of the best chippies in England.
    >On journey back through a dark alley.
    >Suddenly random drunk stranger eating chips appears.
    >Mumbles at us and bows before going on his way
    >"Guys, was that a random encounter?"

    >Later the same night on our way back through a field.
    >Cow blocks our path
    >Try to walk around, all cows in the field give chase
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:08 No.14063650
         File1298830087.jpg-(20 KB, 450x338, 1281998503030.jpg)
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    Here's one from when I was in Korea

    >>Me and a buddy walk into a bar and start talking to these two Korean chicks.
    >>The girl he was talking to knew pretty good english, mine spoke mostly broken english
    >>The music playing in the place went from playing Burn it to the Ground to playing the theme song from Totoro(watched it once or twice as a kid)
    >>Me and this girl hit it off well after she found out I knew about Totoro(apparently its pretty popular in Korea)
    >>Buddy looks over at me the next day and goes "How the fuck did you do that?"
    >>"It helps to buy ranks in lore: random anime."
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:09 No.14063659
         File1298830154.png-(48 KB, 886x478, random_encounter7.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:12 No.14063687
         File1298830334.png-(19 KB, 889x334, random_encounter8.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:12 No.14063691
         File1298830370.png-(33 KB, 564x253, random_encounter9.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:14 No.14063701
         File1298830441.png-(23 KB, 886x379, random_encounter10.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:15 No.14063709
         File1298830500.png-(15 KB, 890x268, random_encounter11.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:15 No.14063711
    This one issss... mediocre, but here goes. Happened a couple years ago.

    >Weekend before fall courses start, everyone's moving into the dorms.
    >I'm a freshman and got moved in early, so I'm just walking around campus making sure I know where all my classes are and keeping an eye out for hot chicks.
    >See a duo of the scrawniest guys ever struggling to carry a mini fridge and t.v. across a parking lot.
    >Am 6'6'' and in pretty good shape.
    >Walk up, offer to help.
    >They gratefully accept, ask if I want to help carry the tv or the fridge.
    >Lift the fridge onto my shoulder with one arm and hold the tv under the other. Ask them where they're headed.
    >Proceed to follow them a half mile to the other side of campus (they couldn't find parking at their dorm).
    >Get to their dorm, they live on the third floor and there's a crap-huge line for the elevators. They start to get in line.
    >I say "Fuck that, the stairs are right there."
    >We go up to their dorm, get the tv and fridge all set up, I help them move some furniture around.
    >They're very grateful, ask if I want like ten bucks for doing all that work or whatever.
    >I decline, turn to leave.
    >They realize we haven't even exchanged names, ask me mine as I'm walking out the door.
    >Don't turn around, just wave and keep walking.
    >Never see them again.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:16 No.14063716
         File1298830561.png-(7 KB, 890x142, random_encounter12.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:16 No.14063720

    I have heard that if someone has a large Canadian flag on the backpack he's Amerikan. Small Canadian flag = Canadian
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:17 No.14063733
         File1298830671.png-(19 KB, 888x300, random_encounter13.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:17 No.14063734
    Well, I was gonna contribute but it's telling me part of my comment isn't allowed.

    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:18 No.14063740
    Isn't auburn a redhead that leans toward brunette though, good for you anyway bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:18 No.14063745
    Canada suits.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:19 No.14063750
    >Walking home from work at the mall
    >Live in Ghetto Central
    >Cross the street in front of a bus depot
    >Car comes around the corner, blaring horn and playing loud rap, at about 60 in a 25 zone
    >I'm in the middle of the road, in the 'zone' with my mp3 player.
    >Turn, stop, calmly look at car, don't know what came over me
    >Car careens out of control, then skids to a stop, sideways, inches from my leg, drivers' side door facing me, driver staring at me
    >Smile at him, continue walking
    >Black dude at the stop, "That was some super hero SHITE right thar!"
    >High five him as I walk past.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:20 No.14063764
         File1298830830.png-(39 KB, 885x444, random_encounter14.png)
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    Accosting Jehowa's Witnesses with dildos and naked men. Marvelous.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:20 No.14063768
    Also, if you're American and are wearing Canadian stuff, expect to be subtly quizzed on where you're from, general knowledge Canadian stuff, called a goofy fuck, that sort of thing.

    Because people abroad have been caught pretending to be Canadian, and have been ostracized even MORE when found out.

    (The goofy fuck/casual insult part is apparently a common test: Us hosers laugh and either shrug off the insult or reply back with one, and people from the States get pissed off, or something)
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:21 No.14063776
    You're like a PC Sasquatch or something. Nice.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:21 No.14063777
         File1298830908.png-(15 KB, 611x237, haloween.png)
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    Isn't really a story worth a picture but since I can't post it normally, here it is.
    >> Harlequin !AMqw/VTW2A 02/27/11(Sun)13:22 No.14063786
    >Doorbell rings at 2 am.
    >When I open the door, a woman dressed in nothing but her bedsheet throws herself into my apartment
    >She's shouting to me to call the police
    >Massive bruises on her arms
    >Big guy, 'bout two heads taller than me comes up to me
    >Says: "She's only having a psychosis, send her back here".
    >Look at her bruises, tell him no.
    >Guy goes away
    >Police come and take over after a while.
    >She tells me he tried to kidnap her, or hold her in the apartment.

    Never found out who's story was true, but when he came up to me I thought for sure I was a goner. Must've rolled high on diplomacy/intimacy.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:23 No.14063794
         File1298830988.png-(12 KB, 965x187, santa_cruz.png)
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    Nyohohoh! *POF*
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:24 No.14063807
    >Sitting on second story porch in dorm one night
    >Two bros with me
    >It is raining very lightly, and we are watching the storm
    >Stand up
    >Bellow out at the clouds "I DEMAND MORE! GIVE. ME. MORE!"
    >Sit down calmly
    >About ten minutes later it has escalated to nearly a hurricane
    >Bros acknowledge that I am, in fact, a 6th level Druid.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:25 No.14063818
    >graduation from a private school
    >ceremony ends
    >guys get claymores girls get gold roses
    > friend and I proceed to calmly walk outside of the church the ceremony had been at
    >church was in a projects part of town
    >Take off down the street screaming in latin with our new claymores raised high above our heads.
    >people stare out their windows at us.

    it was a good night.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:27 No.14063834

    God damn, when I have kids I am definitely sending them to whatever school you went to.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:27 No.14063835
    The irony of it being that the Quebecois are infinitely more unpleasant tourists than most Americans. The rest of Canadians are fine, but damn those Frenchies are obnoxious...
    >> CA 02/27/11(Sun)13:28 No.14063848
    Went out last night.
    >Pass first bar
    >Dude sucker punches another dude
    >Big crowd, gf wants to stay and watch
    >After a minute both guys start looking in our direction
    >Leave cause what the fuck?

    A few minutes later

    >Approaching a house party, guy peeing on one side of the house
    >"Yea he's peeing, quiet down"
    >We pass house, guy starts following us down the street walking very fast to catch up with us
    >His friend on the porch yells at him "Hey -name- are you leaving?!"
    >He turns around and goes back to the house

    My girlfriend is going to get us mobbed by angry drunks
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:29 No.14063861
    >Must've rolled high on diplomacy/intimacy.

    Did you try to hit on the xboxhueg guy?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:29 No.14063863
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:30 No.14063868
    The Quebecois that are obnoxious like that wouldn't be caught dead with any Canadian flag on their person asid from official ID, luckily.

    Some Quebecois can be bros, though. Mostly the Acadians.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:33 No.14063903
    This is about 83% accurate.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:33 No.14063906

    Don't forget you can tell most Quebecious from their lack of proficiency in either english or french.

    If you're not sure, insult the Habs or the Nordiques, and you'll know then. And might have a shiner.
    >> Harlequin !AMqw/VTW2A 02/27/11(Sun)13:34 No.14063912
    As in punch? No, I just blocked his access to her, and firmly told him to stay out.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:34 No.14063914

    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:36 No.14063926
    >Screaming in Latin
    >Whilst wielding a claymore
    >Latin, the language of the Romans
    >Claymores, weapons of the Scots (i.e. Celts), who were one of the Roman's most lasting enemies

    Stop that.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:41 No.14063949
    Nothing sexually?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:42 No.14063961
    NEEDS MOAR Origional Content!
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:48 No.14063997
         File1298832521.gif-(245 KB, 300x200, zoidberg approves.gif)
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    >living in New Orleans
    >take trip to go visiting friends in Portland, OR
    >arrive in purple minibus with three steampunk goths, a rodeo clown and a guy carrying two poodles
    >hand over box of Twinkies and a lawn dart to driver
    "Meet us at the shoe factory; we'll throw bricks."
    >approach friend's porch
    >friend + four roommates waiting
    "Dude. You are six random encounters rolled into one."

    And not a single fuck was given that day.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)13:53 No.14064038
         File1298832807.jpg-(97 KB, 417x675, soulhunter.jpg)
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    I had just finished reading the warhammer 40k novel, soul hunter.

    >Technician in the air force
    >out on a night trial testing out NVGs
    >turn on night-vision
    >whisper "prey-sight" out loud as I turned them on
    >everyone in the cabin turns and gives me the most retarded look
    >> Teddyhands !!gQYFtCw/Zqk 02/27/11(Sun)13:56 No.14064062
    >walking home drunk from a bar
    >walking down the street my house is on, I see a skunk in the middle of the sidewalk
    >I love in Queens, NY
    >walk up to it, we look at each other, it shambles underneath a car
    >Keep on walking, another drunk guy from another bar is coming up
    >I tell him that there is a skunk underneath that car
    >He gives me a wtf look
    >Keep on walking
    10 seconds later...

    It pays off to be a disciple of Saint Francis.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:15 No.14064207
    >go to monastery
    >get given lekumes (turkish delight but greeks will kill you if you call it that)
    >fuck yeah
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:15 No.14064211
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:25 No.14064328
         File1298834730.jpg-(73 KB, 600x750, confusion.jpg)
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    >High School culture day is approaching.
    >My "class" has to make a play with filmed parts.
    >Theme is Hollywood.
    >We decide to make our play about a celebrety dating show like The Bachelor.
    >I am tasked with playing Jack Sparrow, captain of Black Pearl which is one of several date spots.
    >We decide to film that scene.
    >Our city has a playground with a ship with climbing ropes and stuff meant for kids.
    >I am an amateur actor so I borrow some clothes, a dreadlock wig and make up from theater.
    >I look compleatly like Jack Sparrow.
    >I decide to get ready for my scene by staying in character for the whole trip to filming spot.
    >When I get to the ship there is no one there.
    >I call my class mates.
    "Yeah, sorry we didn't call you. We are finishing this one scene in school but we will soon be there. Don't you worry."
    >It's cold as hell due to my clothes.
    >Some kids come to play in the ship.
    >I stand frustrated in the main deck.
    >A 5-6 year old kid comes up to me.
    "Excuse me, but are you a pirate?"
    >I look at him for a moment.
    >Then I put on my Sparrow grin.
    >Me and kids play we are pirates.
    >Having some bloody fun time.
    >Classmates finally arrive.
    >They don't know about my pirate clothes and make up.
    >I suddenly stand up in the ship.
    >Classmates crack up on my looks.
    >Me and my "crewmembers" chase them around the parking lot.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:30 No.14064387
    >Thanks for your request.
    >It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
    >This thread has been requested 1 times now.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:34 No.14064437
    To make another request to archive it, what do I have to do? do I have to go to a different site?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:35 No.14064461
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    >Some years ago, I was playing airsoft with a bunch of friends
    >We're 17-18 years old at the time
    >Go out to an abandoned, overgrown fortress a few miles out of town
    >We're all dressed in commando gear, ghillie suits and whatnot.
    >We start playing, running around in the fortress and having a good time
    >Suddenly two cars drive up our play arena and stop.
    >Everyone reflexively hits the ground and lays low
    >Little did we know this fortress was actually a notorious hangout for homosex
    >Two men in their 40's get out of the cars
    >They talk for a while, then nervously start getting at it
    >We signal eachother on our team radios
    >Suddenly, two dozen highly armed commandos rise slowly out of the surrounding foliage all around the cars, guns pointed at them
    >They freak the fuck out, run back into the cars then drive away fast as fuck
    >We all fall down laughing

    That was a good day.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:37 No.14064478
    4chanarchive dot org
    >> Guybrarian 02/27/11(Sun)14:39 No.14064500

    You, sir, just made my day.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:43 No.14064552

    ...Or you can use sup/tg/. Its already archived there, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:44 No.14064560
    2 requests now.
    >> Osmund Saddler 02/27/11(Sun)14:45 No.14064578
    >weekend before the superbowl
    >going on a trip to the national guard armory with my uncle
    >we're checking out the guns
    >uncle begins to teach me how to dismantle guns and clean them
    >uncle's friend, Sgt. Mayo, is throwing a football out my uncle's other friend, Sgt. Ricky
    >Sgt. Ricky is the most hardass motherfucker ever, never smiles, never laughs
    >football keeps hitting Ricky in the shoulder while he's trying to work
    >he goes to pick up the phone to call somebody
    >football hits him in the side of the head
    >he starts slamming the receiver against the desk while screaming
    >takes the football
    >goes outside
    >throws it in his car and slams the door
    >walks back in and slams the front door
    >sits at his desk and starts typing furiously
    >Mayo, my uncle and I are laughing so hard we're on the floor crying

    It was a good day.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:50 No.14064646
    ITT: We find out that fa/tg/uys actually lead pretty interesting lives.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:54 No.14064689
    Cool. Didn't know about that archive.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)14:57 No.14064721
    You are my hero. Godspeed Captain Jack.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:09 No.14064861
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    >walking back from bar with friends, other chaps we don't know walking along side us
    > Drunk guy following our group starts hurling insults at our ethnic friends
    >Chaps next to us stop turn around
    >The biggest of them (the paladin) walks up to the drunk and tells him 'begone ruffian'
    >drunks like 'youwannafightaboutit?' and shoves Paladin
    >Paladins buddy steps up with bottle and throws it at him shouting 'Magic Missile motherfucker!'
    > Drunk dodges it
    >Paladin swings out arm like clothesline, decks drunk
    > Chaps continue walking, drunk does not get back up to fight.
    >mfw we got helped by a IRL DnD Party.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:11 No.14064889
    While it is on suptg I archived it directly to the 4chanarchive because I think it suits it rather than suptg.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:23 No.14065018
    Here are some stories
    >15-16 yrs old.
    >Small town LGS in mall.
    >Back door is towards the parking lot, Where most of the tables are for different games.
    > Playing magic
    Some old ladies brake went out.
    Few years later moved to Los Angeles...

    >Bus stop in West Hollywood.
    >See two muscle workout guys who's arms were bigger than their bodies.
    >They are arguing, "fuck you! etc"
    >Waiting for Battle
    >Breaks out into a Dexter & Mandark Slapfight
    Got one more
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:27 No.14065052
    i'm... i'm at a loss for words
    you win sir
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:31 No.14065104
    Heh, this story reminds me of my dachshund.

    We keep finding rabbit corpses in the yard, I've had to dispose of at least 30. Also he killed the neighbor's dog when it got into our yard (Pomeranian, nothing awesome.) as well as a possum that was twice his size.

    I still remember the possum one, he was trying to drag it inside the house, I guess to show his work to us, since he stopped and started wagging his tail when I spotted him.

    I'm convinced that dog is a Champion of Khorne, his coat's even a brass-red.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:32 No.14065113
    >walking down street after fighter practice
    >wearing armor (in bad shape, several reasons for that)
    >carrying a duffel with my swords, a shield and my kitchen kit
    "Stop, thief!"
    >fat fuck of a guy goes running past, holding a purse
    "... fuck. I hate being lawful stupid."
    >give chase for three blocks
    >I'm slowed by armor, he's slowed by fat and stupid
    >catch up, give flying tackle, purse goes flying
    >drag him back with one hand, holding the purse in the other
    "Here you go, lady."
    >drop purse into her hands
    >hear voice behind me
    "You catch that guy?"
    >turn around, see cop
    "Here you go, sir."
    >drop perp into his hands, sort of

    And I had to go to court twice, testify and got a job working for the local sheriff in dispatch out of the entire ordeal.

    Smite crime.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:34 No.14065134
    er, fuck not brass, bronze
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:35 No.14065148
    >be on a large fantasy market
    >suddenly, three cute girls
    >one asks 'can I have a hug?'
    >hug her
    >other one wants hug too
    >third photographs it
    >give the third a hug, she asks 'Can I have a picture of you?'
    >girls take picture, then walk away
    >was just waiting for girlfriend to come out of the toilet.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:35 No.14065149
    At a bus stop out from the Green line in L.A.

    >just got off the phone with mom. Who lives on the other side of the country.
    >Stereotypical looking thug black guy yells and wants to see my phone.
    > Never been mugged before. Say no.
    >In my head "hurry up bus!"
    >Guy still trying to get me to show phone
    (A shitty phone that was 2 years old at the time)
    >Guy:Paraphrasing "I'm going to beat you with my brass knuckles, If you don't show me your phone."
    >Fuck you.
    >Guy looks around and takes hand out of pocket.
    >My body is ready.
    >Guy: "You alright,whitey."
    >Bro fists and walks away.
    >Bus arrives right after he left.
    >And nothing was stolen.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:35 No.14065152
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:38 No.14065174
    >smile at one of the girls when I saw her again
    >she smiled back
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:41 No.14065200
    Looks like he was looking for the low hanging fruit there.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)15:45 No.14065233

    In hindsight, most likely.
    It was a weird day.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:00 No.14065407
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    Flesh Hound of Khorne indeed...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:03 No.14065431
    This is not epic, but it is a nice story.

    >returning from a trip to the zoo with a friend
    >friend gets on her bus, I'm still waiting for mine
    >take out my pretzels, start eating them
    >a smart-dressed, but in old clothes, old lady comes up to me and asks politely "Hello, do you have a spare nickel for me? I'm short and cannot afford my medicine" while showing me the receipt
    >give her the money, say good luck
    >offer her some pretzels
    >she gladly accepts, wishes me a good day and walks away
    >comes back after half a minute and asks for some more pretzels, saying "I haven't really had anything to eat today"
    >take out a handful, give her the rest of the bag
    >she thanks me and walks away for good
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:05 No.14065441

    "Hi, sweetie! How are you doing?"

    Reaches over to pet Doxy.


    (You can see the hate and fury in his cold, dark, soulless, eyes)
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:06 No.14065454
    Whats his name?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:09 No.14065484
    >image name: Siegfried
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:34 No.14065725
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    Me and my companiera were camping in the mountains last year, by a big, beautiful lake.

    As an explanation for the oncoming story, Poland is currently the easternmost part of the EU, which means our eastern/southern borders are the borders of EU itself.

    >sitting with friends around the campfire, getting pissed like everyday
    >a man suddenly comes along
    >we welcome him and offer him alcohol
    >he says he serves as a special military agent, his job being catching illegal immigrants who try to cross the borders in the mountains
    >dude awesome
    >we smoke sheesha and share alcohol
    >sadly he started getting more open about his job and telling stories after I went to sleep, so I cannot retell them

    That trip was random encounters abound.
    >rather annoyed with my friends that day, so I took a blanket, my dog and a bottle of cheap wine to the lakeside
    >after a moment, one of my friends joins me; he's having problems with his girlfriend so he seeks isolation too
    >she's in the camp flirting with everyone and getting drunk
    >I give him my bro support, we sit, talk and drink together with my dog
    >suddenly a fucking boat docks right next to us
    >a teen couple went for a midnight sail
    >we welcome them
    >we had no more beer in the camp, only cheap wine, so we happily trade
    >fuck yes
    >we lead them back to out camp, motherfucking party time
    >they come visit us a few more times

    Cont in next post
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:36 No.14065753
         File1298842589.png-(1.35 MB, 664x858, HFHFGH.png)
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    Cont >>14065725

    >same night
    >two guys with lots of vodka appear out of cocking nowhere
    >they landed their boat right next to the teens'
    >they treat us like big-city freaks
    >everybody gets fucking drunk

    I got bored and went to sleep soon afterwards. But then, I woke up very very thirsty and went to look for some water.
    >crawl out of tent
    >nobody outside, everybody's sleeping
    >campfire is out
    >looking for bottled spring water, shining flashlight around
    >suddenly, eyes covered with blood
    >holy christ
    >a huge fish head on a stick
    >get reminisced of the lord of the flies, do not turn my back to the head ever
    Apparently, the two dudes had some rods set up, and later on, they went to check up on them. There was this one big tench, but the other rod got pulled in, despite being well-secured and pushed down with rocks. The guys were so disappointed with the huge fish getting away, they gave the tench to us, and my friend put the head on a stick as a joke, apparently.

    Pic so very related.
    >> Anon of Argentina !rpXPoGn8h. 02/27/11(Sun)16:44 No.14065844
         File1298843089.jpg-(64 KB, 305x216, mgs3comic5copycopy.jpg)
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    rolled 16, 13, 11, 17, 2, 4, 18, 15, 9, 15, 11, 14, 8, 2, 17, 4, 5, 7, 20, 7 = 215

    jesus fucking christ, this threads are always the stuff of legend. Never change /tg/
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:45 No.14065848
    >getting the bus to town
    >sit on top floor beside nice old lady
    >she starts telling me about her son and his wife, and how he's just been promoted, general talk
    >suddenly she sits up and turns around like a fucking meercat
    >stands up, bus is moving around
    >walks down the stairs while the bus goes around the corner, falls
    >get up to help her along with a few other people
    >she sits on the bottom step, looks me in the eyes, and screeches "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE"
    >bus stops, she jumps to the pavement
    >starts dropping everything from her purse into the gutter shouting "IT'S ALL FOR THE REST OF THEM" repeatedly
    >bus driver pulls away from that stop
    >everyone on the bus sits back down as if nothing had happened

    >get off at my stop
    >walk to get something to eat
    >a homeless man is outside the shop
    >as I try to walk in he stands up and does a full military salute
    >figure he saw my military-style jacket and was crazy
    >try to walk inside ignoring him
    >he sits down mumbling
    >when I walk out, he does the salute again
    >speed up walking

    >strangest two events that have ever happened to me in one day
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)16:46 No.14065861
    >Meet some local dudes who are real drunk
    >Married guy and Birthday guy
    >They Invite me to party with them
    >We share a taxi with some local chicks they get them to join us (7people in tiny cab)
    >Go to a a couple bars, Birth day Guy passes out
    >Time to leave, ask Married Guy what he wants to do with him
    >He says forget him, I can't be bothered dealing with this shit.. We leave him.
    >Go to ATM for more cash, Married Guy stumbles out the car and cracks his head on pavement. Sigh..
    >Go to motel chicks still with us. Remaining dude throws up outside his room.
    >He is kicked out. Give the girl he is with some money to take him home.
    >fuck other girl.
    >Next day Married Guy turns up at my hostel, He and his friend have been completely rolled no phones shoes money.
    >Tourist (me) avoids all danger
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:07 No.14066071

    Reminds me of the monster slayer in The Witcher
    >> The_Falcon !Z/kS4uKGRU 02/27/11(Sun)17:07 No.14066073
    There used to be a huge tree at my school.
    Old as time itself, in every picture of the school in the Yearbook, that tree is there.

    One day I went up to the tree and saw a bunch of rubbish around the base. I thought to myself, this is a great and mighty tree, It deserves more respect than this.
    So gather up the rubbish and put it in the bin (no more than 5 feet away)
    I then go up and sit in front of the tree, staring at the football field.

    I don't know why, but I turned back and looked at a huge crack in the tree. I stared at it for a good ten seconds before I realized that I was looking at five hundred dollars.

    Yes, in the crack in the tree, was five hundred dollars in mixed bills.
    I was so happy, especially since I had no lunch money that day.

    When I looked under the bench, another three hundred.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:08 No.14066087
    I read these stories, and I keep thinking that some of you keep crossing over into Unknown Armies adventures.
    >> Anon of Argentina !rpXPoGn8h. 02/27/11(Sun)17:11 No.14066121
         File1298844684.jpg-(15 KB, 188x212, 1196274574764.jpg)
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    rolled 18, 16, 14, 9, 2, 13, 1, 19, 3, 20, 11, 15, 10, 10, 6, 20, 3, 4, 6, 10 = 210

    The mighty olden tree rewarded you for cleansing his despoiled grounds.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:12 No.14066128


    I can't believe someone saved that. Made my day, thanks man.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:15 No.14066157
    And then some old man with just one eye started hunting you for stealing his treasure.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:21 No.14066238
    Nature: True Neutral, motherfucker.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:30 No.14066329
    Its late and the home is a little shy on grub, so we head out to the local truck stop not far. Good grub. I take a detour to the bathroom before sitting down.

    As I head to the table, I hear someon call out my name. I quickly dart my head around looking for the source, and find its this elderly lady I have no idea who is. Being the person I am, I'm trying my best to figure it out and feeling miserable at forgetting this sweet old lady.

    "Forgotten me? I shouldn't tell you who I am for that." I of course quip back that serves me fine in joking tone and sit down.

    She introduces herself and starts rattling on, me still trying to place her. Eventually she asks how Joey is doing.

    "Your son. With your wife" she says.
    "I'm married?"

    Appearently I have a doppleganger living nearby.
    >> The_Falcon !Z/kS4uKGRU 02/27/11(Sun)17:35 No.14066379
    Here is another story, not about me but about my friend.

    About two years ago(about 17-18) we were at his house playing video games when suddenly he mutes everything and says "SHHHHHHHHHHH"

    Everybody was kind of wtf-ing wondering what was going on, but he just walked up to the couch and slipped a katana out from under it (yes a katana. I had no Idea that he had one) in it's sheathe.

    He then crept upstairs on his tiptoes and since I was curious I followed him.

    He walks out unto the roof (two story house) and looks over the edge.
    He then jumps off silent as the wind.

    I look over the edge to see him standing over what some guy dressed in all black.

    He sat on him and we called the police to come pick him up.
    By the time they got here and took him away, the guy was still out cold.

    Man is the boss.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:36 No.14066393
    Then, being a good Newfoundlander, I attempt to put at ease the elderly soul by affirming my lineage.

    In other words, I tell her my mother and father's names. Neither of this works. So I go back to my old standby.

    "I'm Agustus Colburne's grandson."
    "I KNOWS GUS!"

    My grandfather was a very well known gentleman in western Newfoundland. He worked a long time with the forestry and retired into having a diner on the highway that fucking everyone visited. Kindest soul you'd know.

    I have yet to meet anyone that, upon asking the traditional 'get to know you' of intergeneration meetings (read: 60+ people approaching anyone else) that didn't know Gus.

    I've heard a number of his random encounters over the years, too.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:39 No.14066426
    I have a friend who used to live in a first floor apartment next to a University. One night there had been a huge party.

    >Friend walks out of bedroom to go get a snack, finds someone who had done some drugs passed out in his living room. Apparently, someone left the door unlocked.
    >Friend wakes up the druggie and convinces him to leave the apartment, locking the door behind him.
    >Friend comes out of room a few moments later to the sound of the druggie opening the sliding door, which had a broken lock on it
    >Friend convinces druggies to go on a run, runs a little ways with him before going back to his apartment and letting the druggie run off.
    >Druggie comes back again, this time he calls the police and they haul him off.

    His roommate was pissed that he slept through the whole ordeal.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:42 No.14066469
    Gus the Ale Vendor
    >Late at night
    >8 kids to his name all in bed
    >*knock knock knock* on the windows
    >"Gus, you there?"
    Dumbasses were known to approach Pop's windows when the truck stop was closed for booze, and being the kind soul, he'd sell it out his kitchen window.
    Of course, Nan wasn't fond of this. The boys knew that when you heard the footfalls of the heels digging in and stomping to the window you RAN.

    My grandfather was a fucking ex-adventuring tavernkeep, I swear to god, battleaxe of a wife (god bless Nan) included.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:47 No.14066538
    Gus the Diplomancer
    >Again late at night
    >Everyone in bed asleep
    >Man barges into home, busting lock and sits down at the table, demanding service.
    >Whole family is scared shitless. Except Gus.
    Pop gets up calmly from bed and walks out to the kitchen.
    >Intruder demands booze.
    >Gus calmly sits down at the table and says "This isn't your house, my old man. You best be going home and head for bed."
    >Natch 20, bum gets up and leaves.
    >Gus goes back to bed.

    Nerves of steel.
    >> The_Falcon !Z/kS4uKGRU 02/27/11(Sun)17:50 No.14066584
    Sounds like a real stand up guy
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:54 No.14066644
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    Lil' fucker's got a badass name too.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:55 No.14066649
    >With friends after a hards night carousing at a certain local establishment.
    >Decide that we should seek nourishment and head to our local golden arches.
    >Sit down and start eating.
    >Talking and laughing.
    >Suddenly my friend points to the counter.
    >There is this guy without any pants at the counter, he has a coat, shoes, socks and boxers, but no pants.
    >He waits patiently, everyone is having a laugh.
    >He starts chatting up the girl in front of him in the queue.
    >She seems genuinely interested.
    >The security finally comes around and escorts the guy to the door.
    >Before leaving the guy shouts "All I wanted was chicken nuggets, free the chicken nuggets"
    >He hangs around then gets in his car.
    >The girl from the queue orders chicken nuggets then goes outside and gets in his car.
    >The man is one suave mutherfucker to manage to pick up a random nice looking girl while not wearing pants and being somewhat pissed.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)17:56 No.14066677
    I love this thread.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:01 No.14066739
    Man, that's guy must have his charisma through the roof. Too bad it's my dump stat.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:04 No.14066782
    I dunno maybe the girl liked what she saw...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:11 No.14066890

    Holy shit, that was me! There I am, minding my own business, trolling /x/ from your wifi on my phone, pissing on the hood of a Jaguar like my entire life is a Dead Kennedy's song, when all of a sudden, BAM! "STOP CRIMINAL SCUM". Fuck you by the way.

    Way to ruin my adventure...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:15 No.14066937

    I think we're both living the same game... AlcoholismQuest...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:26 No.14067070
    >LARP in Hungary, we don't have good larp sites.
    >lurking near to road with a few friend at night
    >someone is coming
    >we wait in silence
    >Suddenly we jump out, grab him, "smash" him to a tree, weapon to his neck
    >"who is your master?"
    >guy has a wtf face
    >"who do you work for? Answer or you will die!"
    >guy mumbling something still prety wtf
    >we notice that something not right with his cloths and stuff
    >he is a civilian wandered into the site.
    >as we realize our mistake we apologize and then leave
    >guy still don't know what the fuck then phone his friends that ninjas attacked him

    this is how we do random encounter.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:39 No.14067237
    You have mountains in Poland? Wen did you get that? I knew you already had a desert.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)18:45 No.14067325
    Preysight is thermal vision, not Night Vision. Night Lords can see in the dark without any assisstance, so it would be redundant for them to use NVG filters.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:30 No.14067952
    Um. No. Miners and Mynahs are two completely different kinds of birds.
    >While it has adapted to urban areas, it also faces increasing competition from an introduced species, the Indian or Common Myna. The Common Myna is similar in size, beak colouration and diet; but is otherwise unrelated and easily distinguished by its darker plumage.

    >otherwise unrelated

    And knowing is half the battle!
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:31 No.14067963
    back in highschool I used to always run in to random encounters on the wide staircase of the main building. Friends joked that I was both the cause and saviour of anything that happened.

    Two incidents stick out in my mind:
    Walking down stairs. Friend trips. Roll natural 20 on my reflex check. Hand whips out lightning fast, grab his backpack and yank him backwards. Had saved him from a nasty fall (he claims I saved his life) before I had even fully processed that he was going to trip.

    Other time going up the stairs. Younger student is carrying one of those bigass iMacs down the stairs (the originals with the silly candy colour schemes). She trips. Again I go in to trance. Kneel forward, stopping the iMac from falling with my left arm and catching the girl in my right.

    Girl is shaking like mad, thanking me in between flipping out about what nearly happened. I carried the mac and escorted the damsel back to her class.

    Felt like a goddamned Paladin.

    >demand, lies
    Never, Captcha!
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:34 No.14068005



    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:42 No.14068105
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:45 No.14068134
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:49 No.14068185
    > Walking down street with friend, off to get some lunch.
    > Four drunk guys hanging out of a busted up old jeep drive past, yell at us
    > Friend gives them a huge shit-eating grin.
    > Dead silence.
    > Jeep drives off.
    > Friend and I crack up laughing for like five minutes straight.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:50 No.14068187

    NOW READ THIS AGAIN >>14067070

    FUCK. YOU.

    >> Iron Lung 02/27/11(Sun)19:52 No.14068225
    bumpan for more stories.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:54 No.14068250
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)19:54 No.14068251
    >Freshman in highschool, supergeek
    >Walking home, chatting with random senior as we're both sporting long hair
    >Bus goes by, stupid kids who always give me shit jeering and chuck an apple at my head
    >Adrenaline spikes, sudden moment of PERFECT NINJA CLARITY
    >Catch apple out of the air midflight and take a bite out of it in one fluid motion
    >Sidelong glance at the bus, every passenger looking wide eyed and slackjawed
    >Senior I was talking to flipping out "Dude! How did you do that?!"
    >Finally loose my cool, "I. DON'T. KNOW!"
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:20 No.14068650
    This was many years ago.

    >At college. On campus patrol: MagLight and CB Radio, will travel.
    >Everything routine for first couple of hours. In near the Athletic Center, over a half-mile north of what's about to happen.
    >Fellow troller talking rapidly over radio: "South of Sunset Lake. [Note: there isn't a single light around Sunset Lake after dark except the stars and your own damned flashlight, which is exactly why its on the route. One troller swears he found a foursome on the west side, which is nothing but manicured grass and statues. South side abuts the woods.] "Please be advised someone may have fallen--"
    >At that point there is the sound of someone shouting (after hearing trolls report in from drunk shenanigans, I've decided I know what a shouting nearby an open channel sounds like) followed by what sounded like static but turns out later to be a loud splash.
    >After which I hear a perfectly calm and clear but very fast: "Dropping radio Ten Thirteen." [Turns out to be one and only time a 10-13 signal had been given in the 30 year history of campus patrol. Determined necessary in postmortem, the caller was given a commendation and got laid a whole lot. Campus patrol was a weird bunch; I stopped trolling after my freshman year. ANYWAY...]
    >Ran so fast I puked and gave the EMTs more trouble than the motherfucking drunk assholes who thought it would be funny to pretend to drown on a New Moon night and see if the campus patrol guy would jump in after them.
    >He had, and then about 70 *very* sober people with no sense of humor whatsoever showed up.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:22 No.14068682

    Violation of Global Rule 3. Reported.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:25 No.14068712
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    Fuck your Owl, I have Swamp Monster Army!
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:27 No.14068749
    >Friend and I walking down sidewalk
    >suddenly, a fucker comes speeding at us on a bike from out of nowhere
    >right before he hits us head on he slams both his brakes
    >flips over the front handlebars, lands in front of us and his bike lands on him
    >while he gets up he yells about "watch where you're going, inconsiderate, etc."
    >we're both staring at him trying not to laugh
    >turns really humble suddenly "pardon me, so sorry, my bad, you guys ok?"
    >suddenly looks really scared like he thinks we're gonna kick his ass, hops on his bike and rides away in to the sunset
    >> Iron Lung 02/27/11(Sun)20:34 No.14068845
    'Ard Boy and I are our way to Seattle from Portland.
    Winter '06.
    'Ard Boy went to Army SF school, hence the name. Big bruiser of a bastard. Got his jump wings and a certification in teaching knife fighting.
    It's New Years Eve, and he's freshly divorced, slightly loaded, and we're headed to NYEOLF, a gaming con.

    We're trekking in my shitty little Chevy Cavalier.

    Hit I-5 going N. out of Longview, and it's snowing. Hard.
    Big fat fluffy flakes. There's 8 inches on the highway divider.
    We're crawling along at 35. The ditch has got semi-trucks, SUV's, countless 4-wheel drive trucks, and an army of tow trucks getting rich hauling them loose.
    We're gonna be late. Miss the first round, at least. 170 miles to go, three hours to be there.
    Fuck that.
    What have I got? 2WD, 4/5's of a tank, and the soundtrack to Juice, Know The Ledge set to repeat.
    Pedal sinks to the floor, steady as death.
    WHIP up I-5. We rip past plows, cops, volume's up far enough to shake the snow off the rear window.
    'Ard Boy's got a white-knuckle ogre fist clutch on the Oh Shit Handle. Keeps yelling something about "safe."
    Hit a nice even slide at 65. There's enough snow on the median to shake the wheel constantly, but I'm The Fucking BOSS.

    Touch the brakes two-and-a-half-hours later.
    Hey. 24 hour diner.
    Look at 'Ard Boy.
    "Hey, you hungry?"
    "I could eat something. We've got...12 mins."
    "Time enough to get something to go, eh?"
    His hands pop as he lets the handle go.
    Don't look back, acquire bacon.
    Fuck yeah, bacon.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:40 No.14068934
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    >At friend's house.
    >Both bored, decide to fight in his room for the hell of it.
    >Fight moves to bed, have him cornered.
    >He catches me by surprise and kicks me off of bed.
    >Bed is about three or four feet off the ground.
    > Falling backwards, headfirst towards the hard tile floor.
    >Everything slows down as I realize I'm about to break my neck.
    >Reach down with one hand, touching the floor, push up, overcoming my momentum.
    >Flip and land on my feet.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:41 No.14068950
    >Forgot to pick up caffeine the night before, tired as fuck and not really functioning as a result
    >Carpool to work
    >Decide to stop at a gas station to fix the caffeine problem
    >Make purchase
    >Get back to car before realizing I forgot to get my change
    >Start to head back inside, only for coworkers to try to stop me
    >"Guys, I'll be right back, I swear we'll get to work on time"
    >Get back inside
    >Finally realize that the place was being robbed at gunpoint by what I thought was another customer who just happened to like wearing a ski mask
    >"... Ah, fuck me."
    >End up losing my wallet to the robber before being allowed to go back to my car
    >Light a cigarette once I get back
    >Realize I picked up a pack of cigarettes instead of coffee because my retarded ass thought it was last year, when I still smoked

    On the bright side, the guy behind the counter gave me a cup of coffee for providing enough of a distraction to steal most of the money back from the robber before he left.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:43 No.14068978
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    don't you think that you overreacting a bit? I mean he wrote that they properly apologized...
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:48 No.14069048
    Got a few all about the same friend

    >Sitting in my van eating a pizza with friend. We were killing time before a movie.
    >It's extremely windy out and the sky looks amazing with the clouds moving super fast across it.
    >I mention the only thing that would make the weather more awesome would be lightning.
    >Friend say, "Like over there" and points at a tree across the road.
    >Look where he's pointing, no lightning.
    >About to say something when:CRACK A BOOM!
    >Huge ass bolt of lighting strikes tree
    >Friend just cast Call Lightning

    Serveral Months later:

    >At same friends home and need soda for game that night.
    >Suggest we go to local walmart since it's maybe 5 miles down the road.
    >Friend says, "Dude I don't want to go out, it's pouring rain out there."
    >Look out window: Sun shining, no rain.
    >Friend just shrugs and claimed he heard pouring rain.
    >Get to walmart.
    >It's fucking raining cats and dogs out.

    And the most awesome one of all

    >Go by the ice cream parlor friend works at.
    >As I leave, friend warns me to "Not get mauled by any bears"
    >Walk outside.
    >There is a fucking black bear in the parking lot.
    >Go back inside, ask friend if he knew about the bear.
    >What bear?
    >The bear that then tried to break down the door.
    >Call animal control, "Tell them we are trapping in a Baskin Robbins by a bear.

    My friend is a fucking druid.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:49 No.14069074
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    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:56 No.14069184
    It is your duty to burn him at the stake. That bastard is a menace.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)20:57 No.14069192
    I regret to notify you that you may be friends with a witch.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:01 No.14069249
    rolled 9 = 9

    I was a random encounter for a few people
    >10-12 years old
    >Riding my bike back from store
    >Hang plastic bag with snacks from front handlebars
    >Catches in front tire and I flip
    >Land in a heap with bike in front of people that just came around corner
    >Take off before they even have a chance to say anything

    >20 years old
    >Walking back from the local 7-11 with a friend
    >At least halfway in the bag
    >Suddenly naked dudes, naked dudes everywhere

    They just ran a circle around us and then off into the night.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:06 No.14069327
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    >Hanging at pizza place with some friends
    >Talking about who should run the next game
    >Suddenly, older guy books it around a corner and bursts into the pizza place
    >Older guy heads straight for our table and sits down like he's been there the whole time
    >About to protest when four or five people also round the corner and keep running past the pizza place
    >A few seconds of stunned silence, interrupted by older guy getting up to peek out the door in the direction the crowd ran
    >My face when the old guy points back to us and says "Thanks!" before running out in the opposite direction

    We still have no idea what happened there.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:10 No.14069380
    >Some Asian guy sprints full pelt up to me and my wife.
    >pelts a huge wad of fliers in our faces
    >Proceeds to pelvic thrust; one hand on hip the other behind his head
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:13 No.14069415
    Working at a hotel provided a host of wonderful encounters.

    >Working night shift.
    >At around 3 I hear some one yelling WOOO! from outside
    >Two teenagers, a girl and a boy, looking like siblings burst in the door from the parking lot, pushing one of the luggage carts.
    >On the luggage cart, suspended by ropes tied to her wrist is a naked blonde women, of about 30.
    >The teenagers see me and freeze.
    >The naked women opens her eyes and slurs something to the effect of "Don't fucking stop. Keep moving dammint"
    >They push her down the hall and into one the rooms.
    >Just another Friday night at a seedy hotel.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:15 No.14069431
    >Just left the supermarket with shopping in my arms
    >Something slaps the back of my head really hard
    >Turn around
    >Paper everywhere, falling the the floor, in my face, scattered all over the place
    >Perverse Asian man stands there dancing and pelvic thrusting
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:18 No.14069479
    >Chilling with companions at a bus stop
    >Some Asian guy runs up and stops in front of me and my friend
    >He throws his handful of posters into the air and in our faces
    >He starts thrusting
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:21 No.14069510
    >Some crazy Asian guy starts rubbing against me and thrusting his cock on me and shit
    >fliers fucking everywhere cos he's throwing them all over the place
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:23 No.14069540
    >Talking to acquaintance
    >Bizarre Asian man runs to the street corner behind us and throws a large pile of paper at passers by
    >He dances AT them
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:24 No.14069561
    >Slimy asian hands all over me
    >suddenly flying all over the place
    >land on dancing asian man's junk
    >my face when I have no face
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:26 No.14069576
    >At con
    >Some cool geeks handing out fliers advertising their stuntmanship
    >Strange Asian man on their team keeps throwing their fliers everywhere and dancing immediately afterward
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:29 No.14069619
    >Creepy Asian guy at kids pool
    >Keeps pelvic thrusting to dance music
    >ask people if they like what they see
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:33 No.14069697
    More tales of amazement from that hotel

    >Near midnight, hear loud motorcycle outside.
    >Jaw drops as general manager drive his bike into the lobby with a hot redhead in a bikini on the back.
    >Manager a middle aged, obese Turkish man with extremely strong accent.
    >Manager asks for key to empty room.
    >Tells me if his wife calls, he's not here.
    >Drives his bike down the hall and parks it outside the room I gave him.
    >My rage as I dealt with noise complaints from that incident all night.

    >Rent room to well dress business man.
    >Pays cash. I give him a key.
    >Comes back ten minutes later, ask for refund, claims he got called away.
    >Supervisor tells me to give it to him, then check to room if it's still rentable.
    >My face when room is trashed. Door busted down, TV smashed, bed overturned.

    >Get phone call, asked to be transferred to a room. Do so.
    >Almost immediately, same guys phones up, says he got cut off and to transfer again. Phone system crap so I do so.
    >A few minutes later, women in leather bustier and fuck ass huge strap on walks into the lobby.
    >Buys a bottle of wine from the store, and tells me not to transfer any more phone calls while she's fucking.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:34 No.14069700
    This one is back from the days when I was underaged

    >getting drunk at friends place whilst his parents are out
    >OH NOES we drank all the booze
    >solution: go to my place where there is much booze to be had
    >so we start making a 50 min trek to my place at 1:45 at night
    >as were walking car pulls up along side us
    >two latino guys in it
    >they start asking where were going, if we need a lift and if there is a party there
    >explain that were just heading home, there is no party and we don't need a lift
    >they eventually leave
    >10 mins later realise we've somehow managed to get a little lost
    >same guys pull up along side us again
    >start hassling us alot more aggressively
    >tell us were wearing the wrong gang colours for this area and should just tell them where the party is
    >they eventually drive off again
    >we're all rather freaked out
    >decide to diverge away from main streets and hopefully they won't find us again
    >5 mins later the same car comes screaming down the street were on with the headlights off and drives up onto the curb
    >we all dive into some ones backyard and just keep running and jumping over fences
    >until we leap over a fence straight into a pool
    >pool is filled with people
    >guy in front of me tells me to watch where I'm going or he'll fucking hook me
    >fucking freeze in terror
    >he cracks up
    >realise he's wearing a eyepatch, pirate hat and has a fake plastic pirate hook on
    >turns out we crashed a uni flat costume party
    >everything went better than expected
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:38 No.14069756
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    What did the flyers say?
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:39 No.14069771
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:40 No.14069784
    Mind explaining what a 10-13 is? Google claims it's Weather and Traffic reports.

    (Or at least confirm if it IS just "Person drowning")
    >> Alex 02/27/11(Sun)21:51 No.14069928
    >Walk into McDonalds to get something to drink
    >There's a woman holding a kid right in the middle of the building, kid's puking his guts out.
    >Kid's father and little brother are standing on the stairs, looking
    >Father looks at me and says "The food upset his stomach" then goes back at watching his son
    >Walk around kid, order as usual, entire kitchen staff is looking over the counter with smiles on their face, guy with a mop has a fuuuuuuu face
    >Get order and leave, kid's still puking

    Yeah, my random encounter sucks.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)21:58 No.14070004
    >Playing HvZ with some friends in the school we legally weren't supposed to be in
    >Crazy hobo runs up to the front gate demanding to see the NCOIC.
    >My ROTC rank was First Sergeant
    >Tell him to grab a gun and man the post near the flag pole. Yell if he sees anyone come by
    >Still there when we left 5 hours later
    >Find out he was STILL THERE when school started the next morning

    I'm just happy I went in through the backgate instead of the front or he'd have noticed me in uniform.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)22:30 No.14070443
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    >late to a game session
    >hurrying because I am the gm and have all the dice and sheets
    >going 70 mph in a 55 mph zone
    >suddenly, blue lights behind me
    >curse like the dickens
    >cop walks over to me, asks why I was going that fast
    >angry, panicky me says i'm late and the gm of my group's game without realizing he'll probably not know what that is or have negative connotations of it
    >cop asks what edition
    >cop turns out to have played ad&d back in the day
    >talk for about 20 minutes about the various editions of d&d and our groups, his old one and my current one
    >don't get ticket
    >story of the pullover turns group's collective rage into collective awesome
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)22:33 No.14070494
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    I don't remember but my parents say this happened.
    >Be 7 or 8 at the time.
    >On a trip to visit my grandparents because my family is celebrating their 40th anniversary.
    >Stop at a diner for coffee and a light meal because it's a long trip.
    >Be there for 10 minutes and suddenly bikers everywhere
    >They start smoking inside despite large signs that say not to smoke inside due to the owner's asthma.
    >Parents try to ignore it and start mumbling into their eggs and toast to the point where they stop paying attention long enough for me to slip away.
    >Walk up to the biker who I thought was the leader because his jacket was a different colour.
    >He's standing so he doesn't see me and I tug at his leg and ask him to stop.
    >He looks like he's going to punt me when he kneels down and tells everybody to stop their rabble-rousing
    >They calm down and put out their cigarettes.
    The faces my parents probably had while this was happening.
    >> Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)22:38 No.14070567
    At the time and place (Upstate NY), a 10-13 was "in need of assistance." Since we used plain language to request the presence of another patroller, or campus security, or even a request for a emergency police call, a "10-13" signal meant "I am already fucked, get the real police to help you deal with my corpse."

    Campus patrol members were students doing rounds in the dead of night checking behind bushes for everything from vandals to armed rapists, and all we had were radios. But those radios tethered us to private security, the police, and ultimately the national guard. Signal a 10-13 and everyone drops everything, except for the person designated to put a call onto the police radio, and comes running. Including that one 50something year old security guy that no one takes seriously even though he carries a gun...and now he's deciding whether he needs to use it as he's running to your last known position.
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:48 No.14071392
    >waiting at bus stop with no shelter, pouring rain
    >have umbrella
    >some woman arrives at same stop, no umbrella
    >fuck it, I'm wearing mostly water resistant stuff anyway
    >lend her the umbrella until bus arrives

    Token good deed of the day. Most of my other encounters just involve arbitrarily bumping into people I know but haven't seen in years.

    Like when I was 17 and bumped into someone I hadn't seen since fourth grade, god knows how he even recognized me. We'd never really hit it off and here he was with a good foot and a half on me, still with the little mark on his hand from a mishap involving the two of us and a pencil all those years ago -- needless to say I was on the verge of shitting some bricks. But he was pretty chill and we stood there playing the in-store PS2 demo kiosk we were at for a few minutes before parting.

    Haven't seen him since.
    >> The Pancake !!PgUYT0U0BMV 02/28/11(Mon)04:29 No.14071667
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    Thread is still going? Fuck yeah.


    Pic related.
    I laughed pretty fucking hard.


    Someone's balls dropped pretty early.
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)06:18 No.14072312
    Bumping. Greentext stories are best stories.
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)07:06 No.14072580
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)07:24 No.14072710
    I love /tg/ so much....
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)12:52 No.14074935
    >Walking down the sidewalk one blustery day.
    >Hot girl dressed for work has just parked her car
    >She's pulled a wallet out of her purse and is rummaging through it to get change for the parking meter.
    >Oh no! Wind catches a bill from her wallet and blows it my way.
    >Snag the twenty out of mid-air.
    >Hand it back to her as I walk past and nod pleasantly.
    >She takes the money with the most astonished expression on her face.
    >I continue on without saying a word.
    >"Thanks," I hear her say behind me.
    >I wave without looking back.

    Actually, I'm an uncoordinated klutz
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)14:03 No.14075504
    >I'm on an archaeology project in Nevada.
    >Driving down some crappy dirt-track just north of Wendover.
    >A tough guy and a cute girl are riding with me in the truck.
    >The tough guy is a good field archaeologist, but has tons of attitude.
    >I see a bunch of cardboard piled in the road ahead of me.
    >At last minute, I decide it would be smart to check it out rather than drive through it.
    >I stop the truck.
    >Tough guy sighs and makes a comment.
    >Girl laughs.
    >I ignore them.
    >Walk up to the pile of cardboard.
    >A drunk homeless guy crawls out from under the cardboard and says dazedly, "Hello, officer."
    >I tell him I'm not a cop, warn him that I almost killed him.
    >He nods and starts pulling his cardboard off the dirt track.
    >I help him.
    >Get back in the truck.
    >Tough guy and cute girl have nothing much to say the rest of the day.
    >Tough guy gets respectful and friendly.
    >He tells the PI that he prefers working with me.
    >He and the cute girl start dating.
    >Tough guy late on tells me that they were so rattled by the incident with homeless guy that they talked all night long about it -- and then went to bed together.
    >Project ends and I never see either of them again.
    >Later on, I hear they got married.
    >The last I heard, they live in Reno and have two kids.
    >> Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)15:23 No.14076505
    Rescuan from page 15.

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