bump
i know im not the only one who does stupid shit like this

Unless you are. It's entirely plausible.

>just come back with my friends from being undead historians with bb guns in Afghan War era fatigues and shit
>at the 7 Eleven where the clerk is some Russian expatriate who thinks we're hilarious
>getting slurpies
>some fat redneck walks up to us and thanks us for our service of defending America in Afghanistan
>we're all in Soviet uniforms covered in soviet patches and we've been talking to the Russian clerk about the Soviet Union the entire time this guy has been in here
>all shake his hand anyway and he goes on his way
>Russian clerk laughs his ass off after the guy leaves and makes comments about stupid Americans
>probably made the guy's day anyway and one of us was in the service and went over there anyway, so whatever

I sometimes like to pretend I am in sum cute anime and I make ^_^ faces at everyone and if they are confused I just laugh for I am so kawaii and they are so baka (^o^)

Random encounters thread? Random encounters thread.

One night when my friend and I were returning from our weekly game session, there was a man in a gorilla suit on the front steps of our dorm. Keep in mind that it was about 1 AM by this time, and the middle of winter.

He hopped up on top of a garbage can as we walked past, cocking his head to the side a bit at our DnD books. No one said a word.

I went outside two days ago. I had to buy some food. There were people there, everywhere. Dozens of other human beings. Freaky.

>Go to car in the morning a few years ago to go to work
>Open door
>There's a motherfucking hobo sleeping in the back seat
>He bolts out the back door when he sees me
>Nothing is missing from the car

Fucking hobos

So... random encounter thread?

>>14058238
sure!

I once parked behind a building to go to a bar, there was a hobo sleeping there. He woke up, I asked if it was okay if I left my car there, He agreed, I gave him five bucks. I got back, everything was in order and he was asleep.

>>14058238

Holy fucking shit that's awesome. Real life PC for sure.

>>14058207
That may be the greatest thing I've read on 4chan.

>>14058287
If she actually believed it it probably gave her some unjustified high hopes, wouldn't you think so?

>>14058287

That from 420chan?
COCAINE IS A HELL OF A DRUG

>>14058391
She probably wouldn't belive it, unless she got a phone call "Mom i'm pregnant! <3"

>Walking home from work.
>Roll 1 for spot check, walk up to raccoon sitting on top of garbage can.
>Make eye contact with raccoon.
>Roll 20 for diplomacy
>....Let's be cool here.
>Raccoon nods, continues eating.
>Alright then.

>>14058495
Man, usually I just come running out of my house with some pots and pans and an hatchet to scare them off.

Fucking racoons.

got a random encounter

>walking home from school a few years back
>jean jackek, ripped blue jeans, got long hair (big fan of 80's metal)
>car pulls up beside me, bunch of black guys in the car looking angry
>think "oh shit, im going to get jumped or some shit"
>all the windows on the car roll down
>they turn up the music , the song on is "Ride the lightning - Metallica"
> im like "fuck yeah!"
>one guy yells out, your all right White boy"
>they proceed to drive away

>>14058604
Racial harmony.

Love it.

>>14058207
that's fucking awesome

>Walking home one night at about 10pm
>Road is Dark and mostly empty, unusual for that time of night
>Two guys start coming up the road on bicycles
>The stop and look at each other before coming closer
>"Oh shit, he is from [Schoolname]"
>They ride off

This was a while ago but...

>Walking home from class
>Wearing Superman shirt underneath button up jacket because fuck yeah confidence
>Pass by bus, girl trying to get her bike into bike rack at front of the bus
>"Whatevs, she'll probably get it"
>Look back, she still doesn't have it in the rack, no one's helping her
>Pull of glasses, stuff in jacket pocket
>Open jacket, revealing Superman S underneath
>"Need some help?"
>"... Yes please"
>Put it in bikerack
>Walk away without another word

FUCK YEAH, SUPERMAN.

>Walking home from party late one evening
>Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing
>Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as shit
>Catch me in some random college student neighborhood
>Oh shit, my ass is about to be beaten
>Still in talking phase
>Lights flick on in the house
>Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out
>Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent
>"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!"
>Guys start yelling at them to fuck off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten
>"Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!"
>All three of them draw rapiers on their belts
>Guys run
>"I know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!"
>Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics
>Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there
>Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident
>Stagger home completely drunk with a hat

I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house.

>>14058910
FUCKING
EPIC

>>14058910
THIS
A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

for posterity.

>>14058910
GLORIOUS!

>>14058910

Wow.

Please tell me you still have the hat.

thanks for the storys guys, im turning in for the night

>>14058930
>>14058982
It was weird. I still go drinking with them on occasion. They actually got picked up by the cops once for pulling shit like that.

In greentext format;
>Wandering around with unsharpened fencing sabers, full musketeer gear at 2AM
>Looking for parties just breaking up, fights
>Bitches love musketeers apparently; Swedish accents just get more ladies
>Find a fight
>Whip out sabers, demand they break things up "In the name of Karl XVI Gustav!"
>Oh shit police
>Everyone's getting arrested
>Jens uses only phone call to order Chinese food; curses for five minutes when they won't give it to him
>Best 600$ fine ever

Goddamn you people have awesome stories.

*sigh*

>>14059060
Fucking awesome.

>Homeless guy riding a bike
>Points his finger at my friend like an imaginary gun
>Says "Bang" and fakes recoil on his gunhand
>Friend grabs his chest and slumps over.
>Homeless bike guy, in thick eastern European accent: "Ha HA! I come from space!"
>He rides away

postin just cause I love these threads:

>delivering pizza to huge project block type building full of insane old people, retards etc.
>get in elevator
>quasi homeless looking guy in wheelchair with a cane across his lap and a old ass marines hat.
>go up a floor or two and stop
>doors open, some down syndrome looking guy
>"oh hey gary hows it going!?" he says
>wheel chair vet immediately starts smacking the *close door* button with his cane
>doors close
>he turns to me and says "I fuckin hate that guy"

>> Thirteen years old, cranking heavy metal off the front porch at five in the afternoon.
>> Have motorists beeping at us to keep it down.
>> one biker goes past doing a wheelie, throwing up the horns.
>> a minute later he comes back down the otherside of the road, doing it again.

It was pretty cool, but then the cops showed up and had us turn down the music.

>>14059238
Saved.

Alright I got one
>Friend of a friend dd'ing mine and mutual friend home
>Driver's a real solid dude, real wingman.
>Our buddy's passed out in the backseat
>Douchebag neo-nazi guys pull up next to us listening to real fluffy techno shit w/ really heavy bass,
>DB swerves and nearly hit's us
>Wingman starts swearing, honking his horn
>DB give us the finger which is promptly returned
>DB pulls out a FUCKING bat and knocks off the mirror
>Wingman nothing but hate at this point asks me for the windshield scraper
>Wingman Duels with the Douchebag, parries the bat and raps the guy on the knuckles, DB drops the bat
>We turn into a neighborhood with Wingman and myself giving the finger as a goodbye
>tfw they get beaten inna road duel by a 125lb black kid
>spend rest of night rocking

>going to public toilet to take a leak
>middle-aged homeless black guy with half moon spectacles at the urinals too
>while I'm doing my business he turns to me, penis in hand, and accurately guesses my ethnic background (mixed race here)
>starts ranting about communists (I don't know why)
I still see him in the library every now and then. He's always surrounded by stacks of paper and several english dictionaries.

>Big guys weekend down in NYC, hotel near ground zero an Uncle works for so we get in for cheap.
>Meet my dad's awesome girlfriend for the first time, hot swedish chick.
>Eat at a bitchin' steakhouse, have Uncles, psuedo-uncles(Family friends etc)
>Stay up way too late and miss the baseball game they were going too.
>Smaller group of us (A bunch had to go home) eat out at this restaurant down near Battery park that my dad learned of from his GF.
>His GF shows up with a friend and they sit with us for a bit, they leave we eat, good times are had.
>We are walking along by the water, we head back to look at the yachts and crap anchored by the resurant.
>Two women in the dark we hear saying "Get away!" and the like as if someone was harassing them, it's dark in a park so the worst is assumed.
>We all look over, the assailant turns out to be some mexican guy, barely over 4 feet tall.
>We tell him to get lost, girls thank us.
>He keeps following us and shouting insults, I break down laughing my ass off at the absurdity.
>He starts getting defensive shouting "WAHS SO FUNNEH?" I just lower my hand towards the ground and laughing out "Pequeno!" and "Nano" he follows for a bit, my Uncle asks if he can swim, turns out he can't, dwarf tossing is mentioned and he eventually leaves.

And that's the story of my encounter with Stumpy the Rapist Midget.

>>14059507
Well.
Next Gnome I play will be called...

My life is too boring, so I'll steal a story from the life of my friend Dave. Dave is well off, but very opinionated, and doesn't have an off-switch for his mouth when he's drunk.

>Dave is at a party.
>Dave is enjoying himself at the party and is enjoying the plethora of liquid refreshments available.
>Dave spies something not often seen in the wild.
>Dave meets Gary Busey at this party.
>Dave approaches Gary Busey and says:
"Mr Busey, I just want to thank you for the years of work you've spent acting and bringing enjoyment to people. You are an exceptional actor, but my god you have HUGE teeth."
>That is the story of how my friend Dave was bitch-slapped by Gary Busey.

>>14058124
>one of us was in the service and went over there

Non-militaryfag detected...
for future reference, we say "prior service" and "downrange", not "the service" and "over there"

polite sage for off-topic post.

>Riding on bus home late from university
>Girl talking with old native guy a few seats in front of me
>Girl gets off and a minute later the old native guy asks if he can sit across from me
>Don't see why not and oblige him
>He asks me a question about why people avoid talking on the bus
>Give best answer I can
>He seems satisfied with my answer
> He tells me what he talked to that girl about
> Did an aura reading on her and guessed exactly what she had done earlier that day a native literature class, watched a video on the Pow Wow
> I was in that class too actually but I don't mention it
> He offers to do an aura reading on me
>Stares at me for about 20 seconds and then says I'm hard to read
>Does a little chant for about 30 seconds
>Opens his eyes from his chant and tells me I have a very strong aura, so much that it pushes some people away because they can't deal with it on a spirtual level
>Says whatever I want I'm likely to get because it is my nature, by the time you are 32 you'll have everything in life you could want
>You'll meet a blond girl, although younger then you and she'll come onto you, curious about you
>Bad news is you'll die in your late 40s
>I shrug off that comment
>Come to terminal where we both get off
>He seems harmless so when we say goodbye I shake his hand
>He is almost crying just from the physical contact saying I am a real man then he walks away
>Never see him again ever
>"Did I just become the chosen one with an epic destiny of something?"

>>14059616
The phrasing of the sentence made you aware the guy wasn't a member of the military, rather than, say, the part where he indicated that a single person with him was? Bloody good show.

>>14059693

I'm kinda jealous.

>>14059693

"We believe you've already met a blond, in the metaphorical and misogynist sense."

>Work in a truck stop restaurant
>Do good, become manager, nice enough salary, whatever.
>Some old dude in antiquated army fatigues comes in
>Doing my business, paperwork, inventory, etc
>Server is crying, Army Man at fault.
>Never dealt with a problem customer, came from Back of House
>"Alright, sug, I got this."
>Stand in "The U" (some what of a bar-esque thing) look at him and smile
>"The fuck are you looking at, kid"
>"An old, angry man who takes his aggression out on seventeen year old girls"
>He calls me everything from an asshole to a nigger (Im white, by the way)
>I just smile.
>Eventually he shuts up, lowers his head, pays his bill, and takes his food to go.
>"Alright, kid, you win. Tell the blond girl I'm sorry."
>He leaves a 10$ tip, and leaves peacefully
>Just another grave shift.

I think I must have rolled pretty high on my Diplomacy check to have beaten him with a smile.

...I really wish I had a cooler random encounter story.

>>14059783
You were strong when you could have done nothing, and that makes you mighty.

>>14059824
>>14059783

>>14059783
>...I really wish I had a cooler random encounter story.
No need. You already have one.

>riding my motorcycle up to otakon, been on the road for four hours
>wearing big ugly hiking pack with my costume and clothes in it, wooden sword strapped to outside
>bandanna under helmet
>enter gas station, take off helmet, start to fill tank
>notice some guy staring at me from store
>car full of loud black people pull up next to me, start yelling at me as I finish filling the tank
>say something about the sword
>look the leader in the eye
>put hand on sword handle
>he shuts up
>stare at them while I put helmet back on, ride out of gas station
>guy gives me thumbs up from store

>>14059783

Well done.

THAT'S A FUCKING AWESOME OWL

I met my doppelgänger on a train station.
I was getting off a train, he was waiting for another. We had the same hairstyle, both were bearded. Exact same height, exact same appearance. I walk up to him, probably looking a little spooked. He looks up, gets the same spooked expression on his face.
In the end we talked a bit, both were equally weirded out by seeing a random stranger who could be their identical twin. As his train came in, we exchanged contact info, just for the sake of it.
His first name is the same as mine. :(

>>14059857
>>14059845
>>14059824
Hey, thanks /tg/. I always forget what bros you guys are until I come back.

Forever fight the good fight. Expect naught reward nor thanks. Every good deed, every word kept is bound to a mans soul, and when he must sell his life, all the better that it fetches a high price.

>Hanging with friends
>Realize we have no snacks
>Friend lives a mile from a McDonalds
>Weather looks fine
>We begin our trek
>Cloudburst
>We're all soaked
>McDonalds is apparently not open 24/7, as we had anticipated
>Gooch calls his girlfriend for a ride
>We (Two 6'6" tall dudes and one 5'7" guy) crawl into her Mustang convertible
>Feels like a clown car
End part I

>We drive to Safeway, which is a few blocks away
>Stock up on soda, donuts, chips, etc, etc.
>Go to the only open register, since it's now around 1am
>There's a guy behind us
>I'm paying
>My friends are bagging our stuff, and begin laughing
>Cashier says "You need to pull your pants up"
>I raise an eyebrow
>"Come again?"
>"Not you"
>He looks at the guy behind me
>I look at his face. Guy looks homeless.
>I refuse to look down.
>I
>REFUSE
>TO
>LOOK
>DOWN
>Pay for food.
>Leave Safeway
>Gooch says "Dude.
>"Dude.
>"Dude...
>"That guy's dong was out."
>"What?"
>"That guy's dong was out. Like, not even the head. Just the shaft and balls. No way it wasn't intentional."
>I stare at him for a minute
>We turn back
>THERE'S SHADY DONG MAN IN THE DOORWAY OF THE SAFEWAY
>LAUGHING

>I'm having a beer in a Denver strip club.
>A cute blonde gives me a professional smile and leans towards me.
>Her necklace bops me in the nose.
>I reach up and push it away. Then I notice the pendant on the necklace.
>"That's not an upside-down cross!" she says quickly.
>"Course not," I reply. "It's the hammer of Thor."
>I got a date with her.

Variant from my friend's facebooks, RE them always running into each other on the same saturday morning trams:

>Stalky stalky stalky
>Wild ***** appeared! >>RUN >>> CAN'T ESCAPE!
>Wild ***** used pat! It's super-effective! :D

>>14059937

>>14059705
>bloody
fag
...no, not the kind you smoke

thanks for thread elegantgentlemen

>>14060001
He could also be a Limey, which is in the same ballpark as your statement but not *quite* the same thing.

>>14059937
That was pretty smooth, bro.

I got a couple, one from last night, another from a few weeks ago. I work security in a hotel garage in cincinnati, right on the river.

Last night
>doing my rounds
>see drunk guy stumbling around, peeking into cars, making noise.
>as I approach, he makes death threats to what I assume is his reflection
>ask if there's something I can help him with.
>says it's creepy in his room
>he starts mumbling something, I try to usher him to the elevators. He reluctantly walks to them
>continue patrol
>hear him again
>peek around corner to watch him
>he's pissing on the hood of a frikkin jaguar
>approach again, he gets aggressive and throws a punch
>totally misses, runs to other hotel
>call police, watch him get cuffed and dragged into the car

>Working at Knotts Scary Farm for Halloween.
>Need to be sign holder for a year before training for monster.
>Go to bathroom for break.
>Next to bathroom is huge fuckoff wall 25 feet tall studded with spikes along the top.
>Black guy drops next to me out of nowhere.
>He looks at me.
>I look at him.
>Sup
>Go our separate ways.

>>14060040
And the one from a couple weeks ago:
>have to wear suit and tie to work
>30-something couple in the elevator I take
>woman is drunk off her ass
"Hey, are you one of those secret agent guys? Do you have a gun!?"
>without turning my head or looking at them, I calmly state:
"Ma'am, I'm not allowed to discuss that matter at this time."
>woman gets this OHSHI- face
>raise wrist to my mouth, mutter:
"Subject is suspicious, use caution"
>man shares the OHSHI- face
>at that moment, doors opened to my floor
>calmly say
"Have a nice evening."
>they never see me again

Dunno what compelled me to do that.

>Halloween
>Dressed as an IRA terrorist (black wool cap, dark glasses, scarf over nose and mouth)
>driving to party, pull up to a stop light
>lady in the car on my right is staring, I can see her out of the corner of my eye
>slowly turn my head toward her
>she immediately snaps on her turn signal and makes a right on the red

Well, I guess I got one.

>Canadian Armoured Recce Reservist
>Last segment of basic training in CFB Edmonton (SQ for those of you whom it means anything to)
>Our master corporal decided to do something interesting for our section level recce evaluation. Turns out we're being evaluated on how effectively we infiltrate the base starting at the airfield, working our way through the barracks district, and examining the warrant's mess, where there is a wedding going on
>Just shy of midnight
>Entire thing feels like it came out of a fucking movie, getting driven out in a cold war era tarp-backed logistics truck and all
>get through most of the base without incident
>moving through barracks district
>Patrol is heading along the front wall of one of the buildings
>halfway through, we hear one of the doors click as someone is about to open it
>I'm in the middle of the patrol, right in front of the fucking door
>Rest of patrol all has either decent cover or darkness, I'm right in front of the front door light
>drop next to the concrete steps, freeze
>Two guys, two girls leave building
>Natural 20 stealth check
>They leave without noticing me right next to them
>Afterwords get a grin and a thumbs up from my master corporal who had been nothing but a hardass for most of the month

Time skip one week.

>Look at course paper at the end of the field exercise
>Under "Exceptional" category, only entry: "Stealth".

And that's how I got written proof, signed by a Sergeant, a Lieutenant, and a Colonel that I'm a stealthy bastard.

>Wear tie and sweater vest downtown for interview
>Walking around downtown Victoria at 8:30
>Homeless guy strts following me
>Another few join in
>They don't say or do anything, just follow cautiously at a distance
>I look like some sort of pied piper walking down the street
>Get to place I was walking to
>Stop, turn around
>They're not saying anything and have stopped about 15 feet away
>Can't think of anything witty to say
>Turn back around and enter building
>They disperse

It made me uncomfortable at first, but they seemed harmless enough.

Okay, so me and my group were playing a bunch of Soldiers, we were doing a patrol in Iraqistani village about 100yd^2. We had heard there were some insurgents running about and we had been tasked with rooting them out. So the platoon leader tries to talk to the village leader as he's the only one with Speak Language (Derkaderkajihad) and I'm posted outside the hut. Well about ten minutes after they start talking one of our squads start taking automatic rifle fire on the other side of town in the village square, so we start legging it and it turns out they're taking fire from the West and we're approaching from the South. We take one of the back alleys around the side and flank the OPFOR taking out the automatic rifleman and ten other insurgents with weapons. Then our Battery Commander told my Training Platoon we were done with Freedom Town and launched into an After Action Report, signaling the end to my first LARP in the Army.

never change /tg/ - these stories are AWESOME

my story:

>I'm the danish LARPfag

see advert on local LARP forum asking for ppl to email some casting agency your pics, to try out for a TV ad

>i email them some pics

>a couple weeks later I'm in for casting

>they love me with mouth

>a month later I'm at the shooting of the ad

>two weeks later I'm on TV

>girls at parties come up to me "hey you're that guy from TV"

>I get paid 8000 for it (about 1500$) for two hours work while wearing my LARP armor

the youtube: youtube.com/watch?v=ewUxUFgmUgg

feels very good man

>>14060579
Hey, bro, sorry to interrupt the thread, but I was pretty sure I was the only person who said "love 'x' with mouth". Where did I get that from? I really hope you know.

>>14060597

i think that i got it from that animation "Email" about some animated blob going totally hyper over sending himself email...

rolled 1 = 1

>>14060579
can we get a translation of this please?

the raccoon story reminds me of a night I was emptying some trash and ran into a possum in the back yard.
Thing was huge I did not know they got that big.
standing on it's hind legs it was easily 1.2meters tall
(3 and a half foot for the Americans here)
cold as shit that night I shined my flash light on it (battery OP Qbeam) and there was crazy amounts of steam rising from it.
just stood there and watched me toss the trash.
kinda wish I had taken a pic of it now.

>>14060616
Entirely possibly the root of this retarded saying of mine. Been using it since I was in my early high school years, easy. Had totally forgotten where it came from. Thanks for that. May you have much luck in your future endeavors, bro.

>living in downtown Toronto
>wearing a Green Lantern hoodie due to /co/mmon /mu/tan/tg/aming interests
>walking past a Starbucks
>see man running out of Starbucks
>man is running at me
>"HEEEEEEEEEEY GREEEN LAAAANTERN!"
>Uh. Hi.
>"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU HAVE TO BE THE JUSTICE LEAGUE WITH ME"
>Man rips open his jacket. He is wearing a Flash uniform underneath his clothes
>Suddenly four of his friends show up and drag him away from me by force, apologizing and asking me to reassure him that he is not in the Justice League and that I am not as well
>I instead decide to response with "GODSPEED, WALLY WEST. GODSPEED."
>He breaks free of their grip and runs screaming off down the street at full-fucking speed

That's my extent.

>>14060646
That was no possum son, that was chupacabra. Agents are in bound to your destination. Remain inside until they arrive. Close all doors and windows.

>>14060671

its all good

>>14060633

certainly: I am simply talking about a danish discount cellphone carrior called "M1" going "I thought I had the cheapest I could get, but then I found M1" - then comes a sales pitch and me in my armor doing my thing with my latex double-axe... and at the end they added a phone-ringing noise while I go "Oh shi- now i have to take this off again"

>>14060683
Brofist to you for knowing which Flash is the best Flash.

>>14060683

cant sleep /tg/ got another story

>walking down the street a few days back
>random guy is walking towards me
>just as im about to pass him he tells me
>"be careful, dark forces are at play"
>I keep walking and turn my head back to look at him, thinking "What?"
>walked into a streetlamp wile my head was turned
>he looks back and said "told you so"

i was not amused

>>14060909

you saw the light :3

>Staggering home from the wrong Halloween party ("You're not Chris. Where am I?")
>So drunk I can't stand, miserable because I ate cheese and am lactose intolerant.
>Stomach flips about.
>Run into the local cop.
>Underage at the time.
>Apparently he doesn't know that, because
>I hunch over and vomit in the ditch, practically sobbing
>He comes over, rubs my back, says "Easy buddy, you're going to be just fine."
>Gives me a ride home.

Seperate incident:
>Hung over.
>Feel awful.
>Lost for an hour.
>Hey, I know this road!
>Do 65 in a 50 zone.
>...get pulled over.
>I admit I just wanna go home.
>"Tell ya what. We commute this same road here every day. I'll let you off with a warning."
>Promise to go the speed limit, get sent on my way.

>Update car registration.
>Paperwork gets held up at the DPS.
>On my way to work the next day.
>"Is that cop following me?"
>Pulled over.
>A state trooper this time.
>"Can I see your license and registration?"
>Here ya go.
>He checks it out, everything's copasetic.
>He sees my PADI sticker.
>We talk, he scuba dives too.
>Let off scot free, introduced to my new scuba shop, getting my nitrox license.

Cops like me, I have no idea why.

>>14059616
Prior service 11B, here. I still think that, no matter who says it, that "down range" is one of the gayest things you can say. Only superseded by that moto "HUA" bullshit. Just had to get that off my chest. And "deployed" works just as well. However, this is just my opinion, and you are entitled to yours, brother.

Wish I had something to contribute, but I really can't think of any random encounters in my life at the moment.

>>14060952
you must be white

>>14060344
>>14060683
Canadians, Canadians everywhere.

Amoured Recce Reservist? Cool stuff. I've been thinking of signing up for 6 Engineer Squadron (reserve squadron in Vancouver area). If I ever move back to Edmonton, I'd sign up for 25 Engineer Squadron or if I get bored of my work, just sign up full time with 1CER.

Random encounters:
>waiting for bus
>20 on a spot check
>see movement in corner of eye
>raccoon walking past
>stops, takes a look at me
>keeps walking

>walk into university's starcraft club, who are recruiting and advertising for a tourney they're holding
>tell him I haven't played since years, and only played the first game
>implying it matters
>just got greentexted in real life

I found that a little awkward.

>>14061071
because the cop didn't beat him up?

>>14061086

Engineers are by far the best corps if you want to join up to just do some novel shit. I remember the day I got bored and decided to join the aarmy, I was looking at the lists of corps tasks to choose one. I knew the Engineers were for me when I saw this huge list that basically contained everything I had always wanted to do but didn't want to get arrested for.

>>14061122
Fuck yeah.

>build shit
>destroy shit
>shoot at shit
>get shot at by shit
>improvise like a motherfucker
>drinkdrinkdrink because you're an engineer
>be awesome
>deal with usual military bullshit

I got everything there, right?

>>14061149
You forgot one thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vGN0ae0D4o&feature=related

>>14061173

>>14061002
>>14061122
>>14061149
Ausfag Infantryfag here. Engineers are rocking those boys are probably the best outside of grunts to hang around with. Always wanted to go assualt pioneer but my battalion doesn't have them. :( Instead I"m stuck commanding a shitty 50 year old APC. Well at least when I join medics it will have girls.....

>>14058238
wat.jpg

>>14061173

>>14061088
>>14061071
Side note: been mistaken for hispanic and middle-eastern frequently. Get stopped in airports all the time, because young man with olive skin and black hair. I'm not a dick to the police, if that helps, but otherwise I have no idea.

>>14061283
>I'm not a dick to the police
that right there is why.

Ok,

>bored
>friends decide we should go into town "suited up"
>k lol
>to make it interesting, decide to pretend we are of the organized crime persuasion
>walk in formation
>2 big guys covering rear, myself in middle since I looked most business like
>sat in corner of bar, kept talking in "hush hush" tones, looking around
>spent fair amounts of money
>entire evening got treated with respect and unusual levels of courtesy, which we returned as part of being "professional"
>At one point got told I looked like a Consigliere
>felt like a boss

Rather tame but felt pretty awesome. We were pretty much RPing irl. Came up with codenames which we stuck to as well. Mine was Courtyard.

3am Gatwick airport, i've just got off the plane from egypt [2008btw]
My luggage is the first off the plane, grab it and start walking.
Get to customs and realise I've had a pair of climbing axes strapped on my carryon luggage and passed through 2 sets of security checkpoints carrying them openly.
I'm the only person in the customs queue, say hi to the inspectors, flash a smile and keep on walking.

>>14061363
>axes
>Sharp implements
>uk
>not raped six ways by authority figures
I call bullshit. You could hurt somebody with those! Like, an assailant, or a burglar!

>>14060818

So for Halloween me and my friend decided to go as 80s business guys, probably because we'd subsequently read American Psycho and watched that episode of futurama, (pic related).

>Wear huge sunglasses, suspenders, shirt and tie and slick hair back with ridiculous amounts of gel.
>Spend all night chatting about the stock market, Price Waterhouse, Phil Collins and the Safety Dance
>Talk on enormous cellphone that I found in my attic.
>Confuse the fuck out of everyone present who didn't know what the hell we were doing.

>>14061558
>>14061338

Somewhat similar ideas here. Courtyard here, wish I had some people I could pull the 80s one off with.

Always wanted to try being a group of Victorian gents as well, with dress canes of course.

>>14061580
80s guy here
I've done the victorian one, unfortunately without canes, all we had were top hats and suits. I can't remember much, it was one of those things that started after we'd already had a lot to drink.

>>14061597

Ah dang, bet it was good too.

I have always wanted an excuse to wear a fez as well.

Was random encounter recently.

>Heading back to car from cafe after lunch break.
>Spot Noisy Miner birds
>hell yeah I love those birds
>wander up to them
>they clear some room but don't fly away
>I follow one as it heads along the path - it's going my way, why not?
>Asian lady catches sight of me
>"...Are you following that bird?"
>She's laughing
>I just grin broadly, nod, go on my way
>for the record my little bird buddy did not fly away until other people came along

>>Playin paintball
>>Loose friends in confusion
>>End up at the very front-lines
>>Peek out a shoot a few rounds, realize were winning
>> apparently look like I know what I'm doing
>> Turn around
>>see 12 players looking at me expectantly
>>Guy near me says 'wat do?'
>>'FOR THE EMPEROR!' Raise gun and charge out.
>>12 players follow me guns blazing.
>>'Wat do' guy shouts 'IN HIS NAME!'
>> Other half of the game winning charge.
>>Make 40k bro, exchange contact info.
>>Feelsgoodman.jpg

>>14061886
what Noisy Miners look like, for non-Aussies

>>14061916

It's always impressive how furiously people try to keep themselves 'alive' in the games, to the point where they actually just get themselves more likely to be shot. A little bit of bollocks works wonders. Knowing how to actually fight is better, if you have the people to back you. Last time I was at paintball it was with five other guys from Army Reserves. Having that little bit of knowledge and confidence basically made the six of us just steamroll everyone, until we came up against actual competitive paintballers who had automatics and about ten thousand rounds apiece. There's only so much section-level tactics can do when your entire lot combined puts out fewer rounds than one of them.

>>14061921

Dude, thats a pretty hardcore little bird. Has to be I guess to live in the Outback.

>>14061974
It lives in Australia? It's probably poisonous as fuck. Or can turn its beak into giant flesh-ripping mandibles of destruction. Or something like that. EVERYTHING in Australia will try to kill you if it gets the chance.

>>14062028

TYRANID BIRD

>Walking to bus stop minding my own business. >Homeless looking guy walks up to me and asks me what time it is.
>Tell him 'The hour of two and thirty'
>Replies 'Thank ye kindly'
>I half nod-bow
>He returns it
>as he leaves I shout 'fare thee well'

coolest homeless guy I ever met.

>be cynical early in life
>a gipsy woman grabs my wrist and offers a free palm reading
>annoyed, I accept after she insists several times.
>"You will meet a blonde brunette. You will have problems with her every single day and she's not perfect, some days you'll find yourself almost being a father rather than a lover! But you'll love each other very much."
>I roll my eyes
>"Thanks, granny, you just told a love story including 99.9% of the Portuguese female population."
>I leave, but leave a 2€ coin.
>mfw 15 years later I understand that she didn't mean a blonde or a brunette woman, she meant what you British/Americans call Auburn, a mix of blonde and brunette.
>mfw she's adorable, I love her very much but every day it's a test of my patience to live up with certain innocent but good-hearted crap.
>mfw I have no face.

>>14062040
Should have given him some money to see if he changed his voice from a pitiful croak to talking regularly when you asked him about rumors or something.

>>14062133

I would pay a bum £10 just for that. Seriously.

"spare a couple of pennies mate?"

*offer 10p*

"I have heard that the MP of West Midlands is taking bribes from a polish mob!"

Random encounter

>On tour with a band in Melbourne, few hours before gig dressed like a 70s businessman/gangster.
>Stop at a pedestrian traffic light and see a really interesting dog staring at me.
>I stare back.
>Dog cocks its head to the side and continues staring at me
>I take off my sunglasses and stare at the dog in the eyes.
>For some reason this exchange seems weirdly meaningful.
>Light goes green and I notice the girl walking the dog has been staring at both the dog an I.
>I get embarrassed and she starts laughing at me while she walks away.

>>14062113

Um...auburn is between red and brunette. I think you've found what we call a dirty blonde.

Needs MOAR random encounters

>lived in an old farming community.
>went for midnight walks because I liked the stars
>walking stick looks more like a staff, because I'm fucking twelve and obsessed with fantasy books
>fucking MOUNTAIN LION strolls out of some bushes looking really starved (they were all over the place)
>stare at it, trying not to piss my pants
>turns around and stares back, then growls
>slam my stick on the ground and shout a battle cry
>Intimidation roll failed
>thing stares at me like I'm an idiot, then goes running off through a field
>go out with a larger stick and belt knife every night after that
>think I'm a badass

I have a really really leftwing friend who has a character he likes to call "50's Dad" where he goes around pretending to be bigoted and really conservative/rightwing(think /int/ troll in real life).
His escapades include;
Dressing up in a dirty tank top/shorts walking around my high school threatening to belt people, taking off his belt where his pants slowly start falling down.
Singing "Tomorrow belongs to me" in public places.
Randomly at parties(usually really artsy parties) striking up conversations starting with "unions have too much power", going through "well george bush wasn't that bad" and ending with "everything would be ok if the muslims just stayed over in paki land"

>Driving in cousin's sports car
>windows up
>Mohawks of Power charged to full (we were like 17)
>Scarlet Pimpernel -> Madam Guillotine at max on his new sound system
>black girls drive up next to us
>hear the bass, not the song
>start bobbing heads and making "fuck yea!" and "rock on!" motions with hands
>light turns green
>roll down the window a little just as the opera hits a crescendo
>belt out a note to match the singer at the top of my lungs and hold it for just as long as we drive off
>black girls do a double take
>cars behind them honking as they don't drive with the green
>fuck yea opera

>>14061955

>paintball
>guy on the opposite team brags about how he just got out of boot
>during game, am behind cover with my shitty $45 single-shot low accuracy rifle trying to give cover for teammates jumping from spot to spot
>see dude on his belly trying to crawl prone to avoid fire
>surrounded by hills
>"Dude, that only works if you're on level ground! With low ground you just make a bigger target!"
>dude jumps to his feet and starts running
>"There you go!"
>shoot him in the face anyway
>only 'kill' I make that round
>Boy Was His Face Red

Reminded of something I saw a few years ago on the news

>Guy in black leather trenchcoat, sunglasses, short spiky hair
>Pinned to a wall and surrounded by police
>Has a naked katana in one hand, and an automatic rifle strapped to his back that he hasn't touched
>Man is very calmly explaining to several dozen armed and paranoid police how he's "Just protecting us from demons."
>Cops keep trying to talk him down. Guy seems more annoyed than worried. Explains that "He's not hurting anyone. Just demons."
>One cop jumps out with a 12' STEEL LADDER and smacks the katana out of his hand, not hitting the guy at all.
>Guy looks at the sword and sighs, looks at the cop still brandishing a LADDER at him
>Cop shrugs
>Guy hits the connector for his gun harness, lets it fall, and sighs impatiently as they arrest him

Poor guy. Was just trying to do the right thing.

>pull into grocery store park next to woman with hood up sitting in car on phone.
>roll window down ask whats the problem?
>claims car wont start, so i hop out and take a look.
>immediately see loose battery cap shout "praise the ommisiah!" and slap the cable back into place
>she starts car gives me wtf look
>say the machine spirit just felt under appreciated and needed some tlc
>mfw a week later see her back at store shout "praise the ommnisiah!" and start her car.

>>14062959
>mfw machine spirits love THC

Eh, what the fuck, I've had these saved for a while now and I really don't want to do my work.

Some of these will be reposts of encounters in this thread b/c I thought they were funny.

>13, in middle school
>Visiting a friend's class, skipping my own, teacher knows me and is cool dude.
>Incredibly hot girl comes to sit in front of us
>"Hey Devin, who's your new friend?"
>Look at her, give what I think is suave look
>"Me? I go by many names. Which one would you like?"
>Teacher walks up and puts a hand on my shoulder
>"Sir, you're needed in the war room please. There's a matter of utmost importance that needs your attention."
>Try to re-learn how to breathe
>Leave the room with teacher to the hallway
>Teacher and I burst out laughing
>He gets her number for me
>Best teacher ever

Not really the best, but what the hell.

>First night in Seoul, I leave my hotel and head down to the bar district
>See, "The Rocky Mountain Tavern" with a Canadian flag on it, feeling homesick so I go in.
>Bunch of other Navy guys from my ship, and Expats, I'm feeling homesick so I stay.
>Downstairs if full of Canadian Memorabilia and they have bottles of Moosehead. (Haven't even seen Moosehead since I moved from NS to BC)
>Upstairs is a battle of the bands, between three Tragically Hip coverbands.

Still with me? Good

>Later in the night the rest of the Navy guys leave because one of them took a drink from someone and is now raving about Tempus and people smoking spiders eggs.
>2am and I'm am alone, drunk, and standing in downtown Seoul with no idea how to get to my hotel,
>Fuck it! Taxi came from this direction, lets start walking.
>1 hour later there I am eating ice cream with a tongue depressor, and listening to Stan Rogers on my mp3.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjuBMs1ftOE&feature=related
>Look around and see I am surrounded by red light, and there are a bunch of women behind plate glass windows
>Yep, a literal red light district
>Start to turn around when two Korean guys grab my shoulders and drag me into one of the buildings
>Bunch of bored looking women standing there one guys starts pointing at them going "pick one, pick one" while the other guy goes through my wallet
>Guy going through my wallet says something to the other one, they have a conversation over my head
>Guy motions one of the girls over, she says in English, "Sorry they didn't know you were Canadain,"
>I say I just want to get back to my hotel
>I get directions back, and a pat on the ass to send me on my way.

>>14060040
One of the downtown ones? You poor bastard. Which one?

>>14063234

This is actually pretty normal. I've been told that if I travel to other countries, that I should (being American) wear a Canadian flag somewhere on me so that I don't get robbed, raped, stabbed, or worse. Probably all of the above. The rest of the world fucking hates Americans, but thinks we're fucking rich. If they think you're Canadian, they fucking love you.

Another "gamer in a strip-club story".

>I get to talking to a pretty dancer.
>She tells me her name was Kali.
>I (mentally) reach for a copy of "Dieties and Demigods"
>I say, "You're not mean enough -- and you don't have enough arms."
>She blinks. Laughs. Gives me a big kiss.
>Nice girl.

>>14063278
Yeah over time its become apparent, but still for a guy growing up in a really small town, and that being one of my first experiences overseas, it was fucked up.

And you're right about the whole America/Canada thing.
>Ship broken down stuck in Shanghai for a week,
>Every day end up drinking at the same bar
>That friday american ship pulls in, I find a bunch of Americans at 'my bar'
>Drink for free the entire night because the staff was charging the Yanks double.

Someone really should let your boys drink at sea again. But I'm being off topic and I apologize.

Here's one.
>work at a summer camp
>setup week before all the kiddies get there
>it's about 4:30PM
>walking around
>rabid raccoon in the garbage can
>run the FUCK away, go get another older guy (I was 16 at the time, gimme a break)
>He shouts a mighty battle cry, runs inside his cabin, comes out with this wicked-ass looking tool, I think he called it a brush ax
>proceeds to decapitate the raccoon and make a hat out of the pelt
>never fucked with that guy ever

>>14063348
Pffff..

MOAR random encounters. More Game influences on real life.

>>14063348
Mm. Delicious scalp rabies.

>in restaurant-type thingy in the middle of a mall with my mother
>for the past five minutes have been hearing a high pitched 'squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
>eating a muffin
>squeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>look up
>floppy rubber flying condom rocket is hurtling down towards me
>shit bricks
>try to retreat
>topple chair over backwards, knock food and drink off table, end up wedged horizontally still in my chair against a partition
>three dudes run up, laughing their ass off
>everyone's laughing their ass off
>i'm laughing my ass off
>pick me up, shake my hand, sort out the table
>run off
>never see them again

That was embarrassing, but also hilarious.

>>14063234

They actually strongarmed you in? Geez, in Hwaejong they just sprinkle brothel-cards on the pavement.

In fact I don't think I've ever seen a Korean attack someone else, except for that one time a drunk guy was beating on another, drunker guy while the cops half-heartedly tried to talk him out of it.

>>14058819

>>14058910
Foro nce im proud of being swedish, epic tale is epic.

I was about to say I haven't had any good irl random encounters, but then I remembered this from a month back.

>Waiting for the bus at a station, east/west lanes divided by fence.
>Black guy on my side looking nervously at other
>I see cop waving him over
>Black guy weaves into crowd, gets onto same bus I am through the middle doors.
>He heads for back seats.
>Yell at him as he runs past me "YOU. OFF. NOW.", while pointing at the doors off the bus
>I'm wearing a ridiculous hat like this:
>He shits a brick and runs off bus, getting caught up on the closing doors enough for 5 cops to capture him.

Lawful Good motherfuckers.

>>14061921
mynah. MYNAH rot you. they're from india. anyway.

>Into town with friend and her boyfriend for birthday
>All hammered.
>Arrive in town, park in multi-story carpark
>Boyfriend and boyfriend's brother need to piss
>Friend and I debark at ground floor, moving away swiftly
>Boyfriend and brother begin pissing
>Guard on duty at booth by lift speechless with rage as lift door closes and they disappear back up into the night.
>Us? With them? Hell no.

>Same night.
>Really drunk, want to go home.
>Run across road in front of horrible student bar on saturday night
>Clipped by taxi that doesn't even bother to slow down
>Snap roll into gutter, return to feet.
>2 Maori dudes stare in awe. "Bro you just got hit by a car!"
>"I know."
>Pass FNP, sprint back to hall of residence at top speed, drunkenly phone friends to let them know have been hit by car.
>Awake next morning with no after effects whatsoever.

>In territorials, in uniform, walking down the terrace in wellington.
>Sergeant has been busting ass about saluting any superior officer (everyone.)
>Arrive at zebra crossing.
>Recognise commander NZ army across other side of road, also in uniform.
>Salute across road as traffic passes.
>Passers-by successfully confused by military.

>In the Army.
>Running a tiny ammo facility at a tiny camp.
>Two NCOs drive up and I help them load smoke, pyro, and ammo.
>All the time, they're talking about optimizing their D&D characters.
>One Sergeant had a dwarf Fighter. The other had a half-elf Ranger.
>One of their sons is running the game.
>I made a few weapon and equipment suggestions.
>They take notes.
>A week later, one of them catches me in the supply room, hands me a six-pack of beer, and says, "Thanks".

>>14060952
Are you White?

>>14063544
Fucking awesome story. Wish I had a friend like that.

>>14063571
Has been asked. He is a man with "olive skin and dark hair."

>6 of us walk 3 miles from university to one of the best chippies in England.
>On journey back through a dark alley.
>Suddenly random drunk stranger eating chips appears.
>Mumbles at us and bows before going on his way
>"Guys, was that a random encounter?"

>Later the same night on our way back through a field.
>Cow blocks our path
>Try to walk around, all cows in the field give chase

Here's one from when I was in Korea

>>Me and a buddy walk into a bar and start talking to these two Korean chicks.
>>The girl he was talking to knew pretty good english, mine spoke mostly broken english
>>The music playing in the place went from playing Burn it to the Ground to playing the theme song from Totoro(watched it once or twice as a kid)
>>Me and this girl hit it off well after she found out I knew about Totoro(apparently its pretty popular in Korea)
>>Buddy looks over at me the next day and goes "How the fuck did you do that?"
>>"It helps to buy ranks in lore: random anime."
>>hfw

This one issss... mediocre, but here goes. Happened a couple years ago.

>Weekend before fall courses start, everyone's moving into the dorms.
>I'm a freshman and got moved in early, so I'm just walking around campus making sure I know where all my classes are and keeping an eye out for hot chicks.
>See a duo of the scrawniest guys ever struggling to carry a mini fridge and t.v. across a parking lot.
>Am 6'6'' and in pretty good shape.
>Walk up, offer to help.
>They gratefully accept, ask if I want to help carry the tv or the fridge.
>Lift the fridge onto my shoulder with one arm and hold the tv under the other. Ask them where they're headed.
>Proceed to follow them a half mile to the other side of campus (they couldn't find parking at their dorm).
>Get to their dorm, they live on the third floor and there's a crap-huge line for the elevators. They start to get in line.
>I say "Fuck that, the stairs are right there."
>We go up to their dorm, get the tv and fridge all set up, I help them move some furniture around.
>They're very grateful, ask if I want like ten bucks for doing all that work or whatever.
>I decline, turn to leave.
>They realize we haven't even exchanged names, ask me mine as I'm walking out the door.
>Don't turn around, just wave and keep walking.
>Never see them again.

>>14063278

I have heard that if someone has a large Canadian flag on the backpack he's Amerikan. Small Canadian flag = Canadian

>>14063711
>friendly_giant.jpg

Well, I was gonna contribute but it's telling me part of my comment isn't allowed.

:(

>>14062113
Isn't auburn a redhead that leans toward brunette though, good for you anyway bro.

>>14063720
Canada suits.

>Walking home from work at the mall
>Live in Ghetto Central
>Cross the street in front of a bus depot
>Car comes around the corner, blaring horn and playing loud rap, at about 60 in a 25 zone
>I'm in the middle of the road, in the 'zone' with my mp3 player.
>Turn, stop, calmly look at car, don't know what came over me
>Car careens out of control, then skids to a stop, sideways, inches from my leg, drivers' side door facing me, driver staring at me
>Smile at him, continue walking
>Black dude at the stop, "That was some super hero SHITE right thar!"
>High five him as I walk past.

Accosting Jehowa's Witnesses with dildos and naked men. Marvelous.

>>14063720
Also, if you're American and are wearing Canadian stuff, expect to be subtly quizzed on where you're from, general knowledge Canadian stuff, called a goofy fuck, that sort of thing.

Because people abroad have been caught pretending to be Canadian, and have been ostracized even MORE when found out.

(The goofy fuck/casual insult part is apparently a common test: Us hosers laugh and either shrug off the insult or reply back with one, and people from the States get pissed off, or something)

>>14063711
You're like a PC Sasquatch or something. Nice.

>>14063734

Isn't really a story worth a picture but since I can't post it normally, here it is.

>Doorbell rings at 2 am.
>When I open the door, a woman dressed in nothing but her bedsheet throws herself into my apartment
>She's shouting to me to call the police
>Massive bruises on her arms
>Big guy, 'bout two heads taller than me comes up to me
>Says: "She's only having a psychosis, send her back here".
>Look at her bruises, tell him no.
>Guy goes away
>Police come and take over after a while.
>She tells me he tried to kidnap her, or hold her in the apartment.

Never found out who's story was true, but when he came up to me I thought for sure I was a goner. Must've rolled high on diplomacy/intimacy.

Nyohohoh! *POF*

>Sitting on second story porch in dorm one night
>Two bros with me
>It is raining very lightly, and we are watching the storm
>Stand up
>Bellow out at the clouds "I DEMAND MORE! GIVE. ME. MORE!"
>Sit down calmly
>About ten minutes later it has escalated to nearly a hurricane
>Bros acknowledge that I am, in fact, a 6th level Druid.

>graduation from a private school
>ceremony ends
>guys get claymores girls get gold roses
> friend and I proceed to calmly walk outside of the church the ceremony had been at
>church was in a projects part of town
>Take off down the street screaming in latin with our new claymores raised high above our heads.
>people stare out their windows at us.

it was a good night.

>>14063818
They gave you TWO HANDED SWORDS FOR GRADUATING?

God damn, when I have kids I am definitely sending them to whatever school you went to.

>>14063278
The irony of it being that the Quebecois are infinitely more unpleasant tourists than most Americans. The rest of Canadians are fine, but damn those Frenchies are obnoxious...

Went out last night.
>Pass first bar
>Dude sucker punches another dude
>Big crowd, gf wants to stay and watch
>After a minute both guys start looking in our direction
>Leave cause what the fuck?

A few minutes later

>Approaching a house party, guy peeing on one side of the house
>Gf says "IS THAT GUY PEEING! I THINK THAT GUYS PEEING!"
>"Yea he's peeing, quiet down"
>We pass house, guy starts following us down the street walking very fast to catch up with us
>His friend on the porch yells at him "Hey -name- are you leaving?!"
>He turns around and goes back to the house

My girlfriend is going to get us mobbed by angry drunks

>>14063786
>Must've rolled high on diplomacy/intimacy.
>intimacy

Did you try to hit on the xboxhueg guy?

>>14063835
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154352/french-canada

>>14063835
The Quebecois that are obnoxious like that wouldn't be caught dead with any Canadian flag on their person asid from official ID, luckily.

Some Quebecois can be bros, though. Mostly the Acadians.

>>14063863
This is about 83% accurate.

>>14063868

Don't forget you can tell most Quebecious from their lack of proficiency in either english or french.

If you're not sure, insult the Habs or the Nordiques, and you'll know then. And might have a shiner.

>>14063861
As in punch? No, I just blocked his access to her, and firmly told him to stay out.

>>14063348

MOTHER OF GOD

>>14063818
>Screaming in Latin
>Whilst wielding a claymore
>Latin, the language of the Romans
>Claymores, weapons of the Scots (i.e. Celts), who were one of the Roman's most lasting enemies

Stop that.

>>14063912
Nothing sexually?

NEEDS MOAR Origional Content!

>living in New Orleans
>take trip to go visiting friends in Portland, OR
>arrive in purple minibus with three steampunk goths, a rodeo clown and a guy carrying two poodles
>hand over box of Twinkies and a lawn dart to driver
"Meet us at the shoe factory; we'll throw bricks."
>approach friend's porch
>friend + four roommates waiting
"Dude. You are six random encounters rolled into one."

And not a single fuck was given that day.

I had just finished reading the warhammer 40k novel, soul hunter.

>Technician in the air force
>out on a night trial testing out NVGs
>turn on night-vision
>whisper "prey-sight" out loud as I turned them on
>everyone in the cabin turns and gives me the most retarded look

>walking home drunk from a bar
>walking down the street my house is on, I see a skunk in the middle of the sidewalk
>I love in Queens, NY
>wat
>walk up to it, we look at each other, it shambles underneath a car
>Keep on walking, another drunk guy from another bar is coming up
>I tell him that there is a skunk underneath that car
>He gives me a wtf look
>Keep on walking
10 seconds later...
>"GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE SHITTY FUCK"

It pays off to be a disciple of Saint Francis.

>go to monastery
>get given lekumes (turkish delight but greeks will kill you if you call it that)
>fuck yeah

>>14064062
I lol'd

>High School culture day is approaching.
>My "class" has to make a play with filmed parts.
>Theme is Hollywood.
>We decide to make our play about a celebrety dating show like The Bachelor.
>I am tasked with playing Jack Sparrow, captain of Black Pearl which is one of several date spots.
>We decide to film that scene.
>Our city has a playground with a ship with climbing ropes and stuff meant for kids.
>I am an amateur actor so I borrow some clothes, a dreadlock wig and make up from theater.
>I look compleatly like Jack Sparrow.
>I decide to get ready for my scene by staying in character for the whole trip to filming spot.
>When I get to the ship there is no one there.
>I call my class mates.
"Yeah, sorry we didn't call you. We are finishing this one scene in school but we will soon be there. Don't you worry."
>It's cold as hell due to my clothes.
>Some kids come to play in the ship.
>I stand frustrated in the main deck.
>A 5-6 year old kid comes up to me.
"Excuse me, but are you a pirate?"
>I look at him for a moment.
>Then I put on my Sparrow grin.
"WHY OF COURSE I AM! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, AT YOUR SERVICE!"
>Me and kids play we are pirates.
>Having some bloody fun time.
>Classmates finally arrive.
>They don't know about my pirate clothes and make up.
>I suddenly stand up in the ship.
>Classmates crack up on my looks.
"THE LANDLUBBERS HAVE ARRIVED TO TAKE OUR SHIP! AND THEY ARE ALSO LATE! THIS WILL NOT STAND! CHARGE!"
>Me and my "crewmembers" chase them around the parking lot.

>Thanks for your request.
>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>>14064387
To make another request to archive it, what do I have to do? do I have to go to a different site?

>Some years ago, I was playing airsoft with a bunch of friends
>We're 17-18 years old at the time
>Go out to an abandoned, overgrown fortress a few miles out of town
>We're all dressed in commando gear, ghillie suits and whatnot.
>We start playing, running around in the fortress and having a good time
>Suddenly two cars drive up our play arena and stop.
>Everyone reflexively hits the ground and lays low
>Little did we know this fortress was actually a notorious hangout for homosex
>Two men in their 40's get out of the cars
>They talk for a while, then nervously start getting at it
>We signal eachother on our team radios
>Suddenly, two dozen highly armed commandos rise slowly out of the surrounding foliage all around the cars, guns pointed at them
>They freak the fuck out, run back into the cars then drive away fast as fuck
>We all fall down laughing

That was a good day.

>>14064437
4chanarchive dot org

>>14064328

You, sir, just made my day.

>>14064478

...Or you can use sup/tg/. Its already archived there, anyway.

>>14064478
2 requests now.

>weekend before the superbowl
>going on a trip to the national guard armory with my uncle
>we're checking out the guns
>uncle begins to teach me how to dismantle guns and clean them
>uncle's friend, Sgt. Mayo, is throwing a football out my uncle's other friend, Sgt. Ricky
>Sgt. Ricky is the most hardass motherfucker ever, never smiles, never laughs
>football keeps hitting Ricky in the shoulder while he's trying to work
>he goes to pick up the phone to call somebody
>football hits him in the side of the head
>he starts slamming the receiver against the desk while screaming
"MAMA! SAID! NO! FOOTBALL! IN! THE! OFFICE!"
>takes the football
>goes outside
>throws it in his car and slams the door
>walks back in and slams the front door
>sits at his desk and starts typing furiously
>Mayo, my uncle and I are laughing so hard we're on the floor crying

It was a good day.

ITT: We find out that fa/tg/uys actually lead pretty interesting lives.

>>14064552
Cool. Didn't know about that archive.

>>14064328
>>14064328
>>14064328
>>14064328
You are my hero. Godspeed Captain Jack.

>walking back from bar with friends, other chaps we don't know walking along side us
> Drunk guy following our group starts hurling insults at our ethnic friends
>Chaps next to us stop turn around
>The biggest of them (the paladin) walks up to the drunk and tells him 'begone ruffian'
>drunks like 'youwannafightaboutit?' and shoves Paladin
>Paladins buddy steps up with bottle and throws it at him shouting 'Magic Missile motherfucker!'
> Drunk dodges it
>Paladin swings out arm like clothesline, decks drunk
> Chaps continue walking, drunk does not get back up to fight.
>mfw we got helped by a IRL DnD Party.

While it is on suptg I archived it directly to the 4chanarchive because I think it suits it rather than suptg.

Here are some stories
>15-16 yrs old.
>Small town LGS in mall.
>Back door is towards the parking lot, Where most of the tables are for different games.
> Playing magic
>"OH YEAH" CAR COMES CRASHING THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.
>DODGE!
Some old ladies brake went out.
----------
Few years later moved to Los Angeles...

>Bus stop in West Hollywood.
>See two muscle workout guys who's arms were bigger than their bodies.
>They are arguing, "fuck you! etc"
>Waiting for Battle
>Breaks out into a Dexter & Mandark Slapfight
-----------
Got one more

>>14058124
i'm... i'm at a loss for words
you win sir

>>14063143
Heh, this story reminds me of my dachshund.

We keep finding rabbit corpses in the yard, I've had to dispose of at least 30. Also he killed the neighbor's dog when it got into our yard (Pomeranian, nothing awesome.) as well as a possum that was twice his size.

I still remember the possum one, he was trying to drag it inside the house, I guess to show his work to us, since he stopped and started wagging his tail when I spotted him.

I'm convinced that dog is a Champion of Khorne, his coat's even a brass-red.

>walking down street after fighter practice
>wearing armor (in bad shape, several reasons for that)
>carrying a duffel with my swords, a shield and my kitchen kit
"Stop, thief!"
>fat fuck of a guy goes running past, holding a purse
>pause
"... fuck. I hate being lawful stupid."
>give chase for three blocks
>I'm slowed by armor, he's slowed by fat and stupid
>catch up, give flying tackle, purse goes flying
>drag him back with one hand, holding the purse in the other
"Here you go, lady."
>drop purse into her hands
>hear voice behind me
"You catch that guy?"
>turn around, see cop
"Here you go, sir."
>drop perp into his hands, sort of

And I had to go to court twice, testify and got a job working for the local sheriff in dispatch out of the entire ordeal.

Smite crime.

>>14065104
er, fuck not brass, bronze

>be on a large fantasy market
>suddenly, three cute girls
>one asks 'can I have a hug?'
>hug her
>other one wants hug too
>third photographs it
>give the third a hug, she asks 'Can I have a picture of you?'
>girls take picture, then walk away
>was just waiting for girlfriend to come out of the toilet.

>>14065018
At a bus stop out from the Green line in L.A.

>just got off the phone with mom. Who lives on the other side of the country.
>Stereotypical looking thug black guy yells and wants to see my phone.
> Never been mugged before. Say no.
>In my head "hurry up bus!"
>Guy still trying to get me to show phone
(A shitty phone that was 2 years old at the time)
>Guy:Paraphrasing "I'm going to beat you with my brass knuckles, If you don't show me your phone."
>Fuck you.
>Guy looks around and takes hand out of pocket.
>My body is ready.
>Guy: "You alright,whitey."
>Bro fists and walks away.
>Bus arrives right after he left.
>And nothing was stolen.

>>14065104
http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Flesh_Hound

>>14065148
>smile at one of the girls when I saw her again
>she smiled back

>>14065149
Looks like he was looking for the low hanging fruit there.

>>14065200

In hindsight, most likely.
It was a weird day.

>>14065152
Flesh Hound of Khorne indeed...

This is not epic, but it is a nice story.

>returning from a trip to the zoo with a friend
>friend gets on her bus, I'm still waiting for mine
>take out my pretzels, start eating them
>a smart-dressed, but in old clothes, old lady comes up to me and asks politely "Hello, do you have a spare nickel for me? I'm short and cannot afford my medicine" while showing me the receipt
>give her the money, say good luck
>offer her some pretzels
>she gladly accepts, wishes me a good day and walks away
>comes back after half a minute and asks for some more pretzels, saying "I haven't really had anything to eat today"
>take out a handful, give her the rest of the bag
>she thanks me and walks away for good

>>14065407

"Hi, sweetie! How are you doing?"

Reaches over to pet Doxy.

"ARGH! Oh My GOD!!! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! HELP! HELP!!!"

(You can see the hate and fury in his cold, dark, soulless, eyes)

>>14065407
>>14065407
>>14065407
Whats his name?

>>14065454
>image name: Siegfried
Bob.

Me and my companiera were camping in the mountains last year, by a big, beautiful lake.

As an explanation for the oncoming story, Poland is currently the easternmost part of the EU, which means our eastern/southern borders are the borders of EU itself.

>sitting with friends around the campfire, getting pissed like everyday
>a man suddenly comes along
>we welcome him and offer him alcohol
>he says he serves as a special military agent, his job being catching illegal immigrants who try to cross the borders in the mountains
>dude awesome
>we smoke sheesha and share alcohol
>sadly he started getting more open about his job and telling stories after I went to sleep, so I cannot retell them

That trip was random encounters abound.
>rather annoyed with my friends that day, so I took a blanket, my dog and a bottle of cheap wine to the lakeside
>after a moment, one of my friends joins me; he's having problems with his girlfriend so he seeks isolation too
>she's in the camp flirting with everyone and getting drunk
>I give him my bro support, we sit, talk and drink together with my dog
>suddenly a fucking boat docks right next to us
>a teen couple went for a midnight sail
>we welcome them
>we had no more beer in the camp, only cheap wine, so we happily trade
>fuck yes
>we lead them back to out camp, motherfucking party time
>they come visit us a few more times

Cont in next post

Cont >>14065725

>same night
>two guys with lots of vodka appear out of cocking nowhere
>they landed their boat right next to the teens'
>they treat us like big-city freaks
>everybody gets fucking drunk

I got bored and went to sleep soon afterwards. But then, I woke up very very thirsty and went to look for some water.
>crawl out of tent
>nobody outside, everybody's sleeping
>campfire is out
>looking for bottled spring water, shining flashlight around
>suddenly, eyes covered with blood
>holy christ
>NOPE.jpg
>a huge fish head on a stick
>get reminisced of the lord of the flies, do not turn my back to the head ever
Apparently, the two dudes had some rods set up, and later on, they went to check up on them. There was this one big tench, but the other rod got pulled in, despite being well-secured and pushed down with rocks. The guys were so disappointed with the huge fish getting away, they gave the tench to us, and my friend put the head on a stick as a joke, apparently.

Pic so very related.

rolled 16, 13, 11, 17, 2, 4, 18, 15, 9, 15, 11, 14, 8, 2, 17, 4, 5, 7, 20, 7 = 215

jesus fucking christ, this threads are always the stuff of legend. Never change /tg/

>getting the bus to town
>sit on top floor beside nice old lady
>she starts telling me about her son and his wife, and how he's just been promoted, general talk
>suddenly she sits up and turns around like a fucking meercat
>stands up, bus is moving around
>walks down the stairs while the bus goes around the corner, falls
>get up to help her along with a few other people
>she sits on the bottom step, looks me in the eyes, and screeches "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE"
>bus stops, she jumps to the pavement
>starts dropping everything from her purse into the gutter shouting "IT'S ALL FOR THE REST OF THEM" repeatedly
>bus driver pulls away from that stop
>everyone on the bus sits back down as if nothing had happened

>get off at my stop
>walk to get something to eat
>a homeless man is outside the shop
>as I try to walk in he stands up and does a full military salute
>"SERGENT TRAVERS! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE VIETNAM, SIR"
>figure he saw my military-style jacket and was crazy
>try to walk inside ignoring him
>he sits down mumbling
>when I walk out, he does the salute again
>"SERGENT TRAVERS? I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE NEST IN VIETNAM!"
>speed up walking
>hear him shout "OH THAT'S RIGHT, GHOSTS CAN'T HEAR OR SEE THE LIVING! I'M SORRY ABOUT THE TREES SIR!"

>strangest two events that have ever happened to me in one day

>Managua
>Meet some local dudes who are real drunk
>Married guy and Birthday guy
>They Invite me to party with them
>We share a taxi with some local chicks they get them to join us (7people in tiny cab)
>Go to a a couple bars, Birth day Guy passes out
>Time to leave, ask Married Guy what he wants to do with him
>He says forget him, I can't be bothered dealing with this shit.. We leave him.
>Go to ATM for more cash, Married Guy stumbles out the car and cracks his head on pavement. Sigh..
>Go to motel chicks still with us. Remaining dude throws up outside his room.
>He is kicked out. Give the girl he is with some money to take him home.
>fuck other girl.
>Next day Married Guy turns up at my hostel, He and his friend have been completely rolled no phones shoes money.
>Tourist (me) avoids all danger

>>14065484

Reminds me of the monster slayer in The Witcher

There used to be a huge tree at my school.
Old as time itself, in every picture of the school in the Yearbook, that tree is there.

One day I went up to the tree and saw a bunch of rubbish around the base. I thought to myself, this is a great and mighty tree, It deserves more respect than this.
So gather up the rubbish and put it in the bin (no more than 5 feet away)
I then go up and sit in front of the tree, staring at the football field.

I don't know why, but I turned back and looked at a huge crack in the tree. I stared at it for a good ten seconds before I realized that I was looking at five hundred dollars.

Yes, in the crack in the tree, was five hundred dollars in mixed bills.
I was so happy, especially since I had no lunch money that day.

Bonus:
When I looked under the bench, another three hundred.

I read these stories, and I keep thinking that some of you keep crossing over into Unknown Armies adventures.

rolled 18, 16, 14, 9, 2, 13, 1, 19, 3, 20, 11, 15, 10, 10, 6, 20, 3, 4, 6, 10 = 210

>>14066073
The mighty olden tree rewarded you for cleansing his despoiled grounds.

>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585
>>14063585


HOLY SHIT THATS MY STORY!!!!!

I can't believe someone saved that. Made my day, thanks man.

>>14066073
And then some old man with just one eye started hunting you for stealing his treasure.

>>14066157
Nature: True Neutral, motherfucker.

Its late and the home is a little shy on grub, so we head out to the local truck stop not far. Good grub. I take a detour to the bathroom before sitting down.

As I head to the table, I hear someon call out my name. I quickly dart my head around looking for the source, and find its this elderly lady I have no idea who is. Being the person I am, I'm trying my best to figure it out and feeling miserable at forgetting this sweet old lady.

"Forgotten me? I shouldn't tell you who I am for that." I of course quip back that serves me fine in joking tone and sit down.

She introduces herself and starts rattling on, me still trying to place her. Eventually she asks how Joey is doing.

"Who?"
"Your son. With your wife" she says.
"I'm married?"

Appearently I have a doppleganger living nearby.

Here is another story, not about me but about my friend.

About two years ago(about 17-18) we were at his house playing video games when suddenly he mutes everything and says "SHHHHHHHHHHH"

Everybody was kind of wtf-ing wondering what was going on, but he just walked up to the couch and slipped a katana out from under it (yes a katana. I had no Idea that he had one) in it's sheathe.

He then crept upstairs on his tiptoes and since I was curious I followed him.

He walks out unto the roof (two story house) and looks over the edge.
He then jumps off silent as the wind.

I look over the edge to see him standing over what some guy dressed in all black.

He sat on him and we called the police to come pick him up.
By the time they got here and took him away, the guy was still out cold.

Man is the boss.

>>14066329
Then, being a good Newfoundlander, I attempt to put at ease the elderly soul by affirming my lineage.

In other words, I tell her my mother and father's names. Neither of this works. So I go back to my old standby.

"I'm Agustus Colburne's grandson."
"I KNOWS GUS!"

My grandfather was a very well known gentleman in western Newfoundland. He worked a long time with the forestry and retired into having a diner on the highway that fucking everyone visited. Kindest soul you'd know.

I have yet to meet anyone that, upon asking the traditional 'get to know you' of intergeneration meetings (read: 60+ people approaching anyone else) that didn't know Gus.

I've heard a number of his random encounters over the years, too.

I have a friend who used to live in a first floor apartment next to a University. One night there had been a huge party.

>Friend walks out of bedroom to go get a snack, finds someone who had done some drugs passed out in his living room. Apparently, someone left the door unlocked.
>Friend wakes up the druggie and convinces him to leave the apartment, locking the door behind him.
>Friend comes out of room a few moments later to the sound of the druggie opening the sliding door, which had a broken lock on it
>Friend convinces druggies to go on a run, runs a little ways with him before going back to his apartment and letting the druggie run off.
>Druggie comes back again, this time he calls the police and they haul him off.

His roommate was pissed that he slept through the whole ordeal.

>>14066393
Gus the Ale Vendor
>Late at night
>8 kids to his name all in bed
>*knock knock knock* on the windows
>"Gus, you there?"
Dumbasses were known to approach Pop's windows when the truck stop was closed for booze, and being the kind soul, he'd sell it out his kitchen window.
Of course, Nan wasn't fond of this. The boys knew that when you heard the footfalls of the heels digging in and stomping to the window you RAN.
>"WHAT HOUR IS THIS?! DON'T YOU KNOW I HAVE A LITTLE FAMILY IN HERE?!"

My grandfather was a fucking ex-adventuring tavernkeep, I swear to god, battleaxe of a wife (god bless Nan) included.

>>14066469
Gus the Diplomancer
>Again late at night
>Everyone in bed asleep
>Man barges into home, busting lock and sits down at the table, demanding service.
>Whole family is scared shitless. Except Gus.
Pop gets up calmly from bed and walks out to the kitchen.
>Intruder demands booze.
>Gus calmly sits down at the table and says "This isn't your house, my old man. You best be going home and head for bed."
>Natch 20, bum gets up and leaves.
>Gus goes back to bed.

Nerves of steel.

>>14066538
Sounds like a real stand up guy

>>14065407
>>14065454
>>14065484
Lil' fucker's got a badass name too.

>With friends after a hards night carousing at a certain local establishment.
>Decide that we should seek nourishment and head to our local golden arches.
>Sit down and start eating.
>Talking and laughing.
>Suddenly my friend points to the counter.
>There is this guy without any pants at the counter, he has a coat, shoes, socks and boxers, but no pants.
>He waits patiently, everyone is having a laugh.
>He starts chatting up the girl in front of him in the queue.
>She seems genuinely interested.
>The security finally comes around and escorts the guy to the door.
>Before leaving the guy shouts "All I wanted was chicken nuggets, free the chicken nuggets"
>He hangs around then gets in his car.
>The girl from the queue orders chicken nuggets then goes outside and gets in his car.
>The man is one suave mutherfucker to manage to pick up a random nice looking girl while not wearing pants and being somewhat pissed.

I love this thread.

>>14066649
Man, that's guy must have his charisma through the roof. Too bad it's my dump stat.

>>14066739
I dunno maybe the girl liked what she saw...

>>14060040

Holy shit, that was me! There I am, minding my own business, trolling /x/ from your wifi on my phone, pissing on the hood of a Jaguar like my entire life is a Dead Kennedy's song, when all of a sudden, BAM! "STOP CRIMINAL SCUM". Fuck you by the way.

Way to ruin my adventure...

>>14060952

I think we're both living the same game... AlcoholismQuest...

>LARP in Hungary, we don't have good larp sites.
>lurking near to road with a few friend at night
>someone is coming
>we wait in silence
>Suddenly we jump out, grab him, "smash" him to a tree, weapon to his neck
>"who is your master?"
>guy has a wtf face
>"who do you work for? Answer or you will die!"
>guy mumbling something still prety wtf
>we notice that something not right with his cloths and stuff
>he is a civilian wandered into the site.
>as we realize our mistake we apologize and then leave
>guy still don't know what the fuck then phone his friends that ninjas attacked him

this is how we do random encounter.

>>14065725
You have mountains in Poland? Wen did you get that? I knew you already had a desert.

>>14064038
Preysight is thermal vision, not Night Vision. Night Lords can see in the dark without any assisstance, so it would be redundant for them to use NVG filters.

>>14063508
Um. No. Miners and Mynahs are two completely different kinds of birds.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noisy_Miner
>While it has adapted to urban areas, it also faces increasing competition from an introduced species, the Indian or Common Myna. The Common Myna is similar in size, beak colouration and diet; but is otherwise unrelated and easily distinguished by its darker plumage.

>otherwise unrelated
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Myna

And knowing is half the battle!

back in highschool I used to always run in to random encounters on the wide staircase of the main building. Friends joked that I was both the cause and saviour of anything that happened.

Two incidents stick out in my mind:
Walking down stairs. Friend trips. Roll natural 20 on my reflex check. Hand whips out lightning fast, grab his backpack and yank him backwards. Had saved him from a nasty fall (he claims I saved his life) before I had even fully processed that he was going to trip.

Other time going up the stairs. Younger student is carrying one of those bigass iMacs down the stairs (the originals with the silly candy colour schemes). She trips. Again I go in to trance. Kneel forward, stopping the iMac from falling with my left arm and catching the girl in my right.

Girl is shaking like mad, thanking me in between flipping out about what nearly happened. I carried the mac and escorted the damsel back to her class.

Felt like a goddamned Paladin.

>demand, lies
Never, Captcha!

>>14067070
YOU MOTHERFUCKER

YOU ARE THE REASON WE ARE CONSIDERED INSANE SATAN WORSHIPING HOOLIGANS

THAT WAS NOT A RANDOM ENCOUNTER, THAT WAS BEING A FUCKING DICK TO A RANDOM PASSERBY.

MOTHERFUCKER. I WISH I KNEW WHICH GROUP YOU ARE IN TO REPORT YOUR ASS FOR BEING A RETARD.

>>14068005

>>14068005

> Walking down street with friend, off to get some lunch.
> Four drunk guys hanging out of a busted up old jeep drive past, yell at us
> "YOU LOOK FUCKING GAY!"
> Me: "THAT'S CAUSE I FUCKED YOUR DAD LAST NIGHT!"
> Friend gives them a huge shit-eating grin.
> Dead silence.
> Jeep drives off.
> Friend and I crack up laughing for like five minutes straight.

>>14068105
>>14068134
FUCK YES I AM. READ THIS FUCKING THREAD. READ IT.

NOW READ THIS AGAIN >>14067070
>I WAS A DICK TO A RANDOM PERSON
>I ALSO MADE IT LOOK LIKE I'M INSANE OR TOO IMMERSED IN MY HOBBY WHILE DOING SO
>THAT'S AWESOME XDXDXXDXDXD

FUCK. YOU.

WAIT, MAYBE YOU DON'T SPEAK PLAIN ENGLISH. BAZD. MEG. AZT A JÓ ÉDES KURVA ANYÁD TE MOCSKOS FASSZOPÓ GECI.

bumpan for more stories.

>>14068187

>Freshman in highschool, supergeek
>Walking home, chatting with random senior as we're both sporting long hair
>Bus goes by, stupid kids who always give me shit jeering and chuck an apple at my head
>Adrenaline spikes, sudden moment of PERFECT NINJA CLARITY
>Catch apple out of the air midflight and take a bite out of it in one fluid motion
>Sidelong glance at the bus, every passenger looking wide eyed and slackjawed
>Senior I was talking to flipping out "Dude! How did you do that?!"
>Finally loose my cool, "I. DON'T. KNOW!"

This was many years ago.

>At college. On campus patrol: MagLight and CB Radio, will travel.
>Everything routine for first couple of hours. In near the Athletic Center, over a half-mile north of what's about to happen.
>Fellow troller talking rapidly over radio: "South of Sunset Lake. [Note: there isn't a single light around Sunset Lake after dark except the stars and your own damned flashlight, which is exactly why its on the route. One troller swears he found a foursome on the west side, which is nothing but manicured grass and statues. South side abuts the woods.] "Please be advised someone may have fallen--"
>At that point there is the sound of someone shouting (after hearing trolls report in from drunk shenanigans, I've decided I know what a shouting nearby an open channel sounds like) followed by what sounded like static but turns out later to be a loud splash.
>After which I hear a perfectly calm and clear but very fast: "Dropping radio Ten Thirteen." [Turns out to be one and only time a 10-13 signal had been given in the 30 year history of campus patrol. Determined necessary in postmortem, the caller was given a commendation and got laid a whole lot. Campus patrol was a weird bunch; I stopped trolling after my freshman year. ANYWAY...]
>Ran so fast I puked and gave the EMTs more trouble than the motherfucking drunk assholes who thought it would be funny to pretend to drown on a New Moon night and see if the campus patrol guy would jump in after them.
>He had, and then about 70 *very* sober people with no sense of humor whatsoever showed up.

>>14059286

Violation of Global Rule 3. Reported.

Fuck your Owl, I have Swamp Monster Army!

>Friend and I walking down sidewalk
>suddenly, a fucker comes speeding at us on a bike from out of nowhere
>right before he hits us head on he slams both his brakes
>flips over the front handlebars, lands in front of us and his bike lands on him
>while he gets up he yells about "watch where you're going, inconsiderate, etc."
>we're both staring at him trying not to laugh
>turns really humble suddenly "pardon me, so sorry, my bad, you guys ok?"
>suddenly looks really scared like he thinks we're gonna kick his ass, hops on his bike and rides away in to the sunset

'Ard Boy and I are our way to Seattle from Portland.
Winter '06.
'Ard Boy went to Army SF school, hence the name. Big bruiser of a bastard. Got his jump wings and a certification in teaching knife fighting.
It's New Years Eve, and he's freshly divorced, slightly loaded, and we're headed to NYEOLF, a gaming con.

We're trekking in my shitty little Chevy Cavalier.

Hit I-5 going N. out of Longview, and it's snowing. Hard.
Big fat fluffy flakes. There's 8 inches on the highway divider.
We're crawling along at 35. The ditch has got semi-trucks, SUV's, countless 4-wheel drive trucks, and an army of tow trucks getting rich hauling them loose.
...
We're gonna be late. Miss the first round, at least. 170 miles to go, three hours to be there.
Fuck that.
What have I got? 2WD, 4/5's of a tank, and the soundtrack to Juice, Know The Ledge set to repeat.
Pedal sinks to the floor, steady as death.
WHIP up I-5. We rip past plows, cops, volume's up far enough to shake the snow off the rear window.
'Ard Boy's got a white-knuckle ogre fist clutch on the Oh Shit Handle. Keeps yelling something about "safe."
Hit a nice even slide at 65. There's enough snow on the median to shake the wheel constantly, but I'm The Fucking BOSS.
BRAND NEW MORN, NO TIME TO YAWN, THE SHOWER'S ON THE POWER'S ON.

Touch the brakes two-and-a-half-hours later.
Hey. 24 hour diner.
Look at 'Ard Boy.
"Hey, you hungry?"
"I could eat something. We've got...12 mins."
"Time enough to get something to go, eh?"
His hands pop as he lets the handle go.
"Yeah."
Don't look back, acquire bacon.
Fuck yeah, bacon.

>At friend's house.
>Both bored, decide to fight in his room for the hell of it.
>Fight moves to bed, have him cornered.
>He catches me by surprise and kicks me off of bed.
>Bed is about three or four feet off the ground.
> Falling backwards, headfirst towards the hard tile floor.
>Everything slows down as I realize I'm about to break my neck.
>Reach down with one hand, touching the floor, push up, overcoming my momentum.
>Flip and land on my feet.
>MFW

>Forgot to pick up caffeine the night before, tired as fuck and not really functioning as a result
>Carpool to work
>Decide to stop at a gas station to fix the caffeine problem
>Make purchase
>Get back to car before realizing I forgot to get my change
>Start to head back inside, only for coworkers to try to stop me
>"Guys, I'll be right back, I swear we'll get to work on time"
>Get back inside
>Finally realize that the place was being robbed at gunpoint by what I thought was another customer who just happened to like wearing a ski mask
>"... Ah, fuck me."
>End up losing my wallet to the robber before being allowed to go back to my car
>Light a cigarette once I get back
>Realize I picked up a pack of cigarettes instead of coffee because my retarded ass thought it was last year, when I still smoked

On the bright side, the guy behind the counter gave me a cup of coffee for providing enough of a distraction to steal most of the money back from the robber before he left.

>>14068187

don't you think that you overreacting a bit? I mean he wrote that they properly apologized...

Got a few all about the same friend

>Sitting in my van eating a pizza with friend. We were killing time before a movie.
>It's extremely windy out and the sky looks amazing with the clouds moving super fast across it.
>I mention the only thing that would make the weather more awesome would be lightning.
>Friend say, "Like over there" and points at a tree across the road.
>Look where he's pointing, no lightning.
>About to say something when:CRACK A BOOM!
>Huge ass bolt of lighting strikes tree
>Friend just cast Call Lightning

Serveral Months later:

>At same friends home and need soda for game that night.
>Suggest we go to local walmart since it's maybe 5 miles down the road.
>Friend says, "Dude I don't want to go out, it's pouring rain out there."
>Look out window: Sun shining, no rain.
>Friend just shrugs and claimed he heard pouring rain.
>Get to walmart.
>It's fucking raining cats and dogs out.

And the most awesome one of all

>Go by the ice cream parlor friend works at.
>As I leave, friend warns me to "Not get mauled by any bears"
>Walk outside.
>There is a fucking black bear in the parking lot.
>WTF
>Go back inside, ask friend if he knew about the bear.
>What bear?
>The bear that then tried to break down the door.
>Call animal control, "Tell them we are trapping in a Baskin Robbins by a bear.

My friend is a fucking druid.

>>14068934

>>14069048
It is your duty to burn him at the stake. That bastard is a menace.

>>14069048
I regret to notify you that you may be friends with a witch.

rolled 9 = 9

I was a random encounter for a few people
>10-12 years old
>Riding my bike back from store
>Hang plastic bag with snacks from front handlebars
>Catches in front tire and I flip
>Land in a heap with bike in front of people that just came around corner
>Take off before they even have a chance to say anything


>20 years old
>Walking back from the local 7-11 with a friend
>At least halfway in the bag
>Suddenly naked dudes, naked dudes everywhere

They just ran a circle around us and then off into the night.

>Hanging at pizza place with some friends
>Talking about who should run the next game
>Suddenly, older guy books it around a corner and bursts into the pizza place
>Older guy heads straight for our table and sits down like he's been there the whole time
>About to protest when four or five people also round the corner and keep running past the pizza place
>A few seconds of stunned silence, interrupted by older guy getting up to peek out the door in the direction the crowd ran
>My face when the old guy points back to us and says "Thanks!" before running out in the opposite direction

We still have no idea what happened there.

>Some Asian guy sprints full pelt up to me and my wife.
>pelts a huge wad of fliers in our faces
>Proceeds to pelvic thrust; one hand on hip the other behind his head

Working at a hotel provided a host of wonderful encounters.

>Working night shift.
>At around 3 I hear some one yelling WOOO! from outside
>Two teenagers, a girl and a boy, looking like siblings burst in the door from the parking lot, pushing one of the luggage carts.
>On the luggage cart, suspended by ropes tied to her wrist is a naked blonde women, of about 30.
>The teenagers see me and freeze.
>The naked women opens her eyes and slurs something to the effect of "Don't fucking stop. Keep moving dammint"
>They push her down the hall and into one the rooms.
>Just another Friday night at a seedy hotel.

>>14069380
>Just left the supermarket with shopping in my arms
>Something slaps the back of my head really hard
>Turn around
>Paper everywhere, falling the the floor, in my face, scattered all over the place
>Perverse Asian man stands there dancing and pelvic thrusting

>>14069431
>Chilling with companions at a bus stop
>Some Asian guy runs up and stops in front of me and my friend
>He throws his handful of posters into the air and in our faces
>He starts thrusting

>>14069479
>Some crazy Asian guy starts rubbing against me and thrusting his cock on me and shit
>fliers fucking everywhere cos he's throwing them all over the place

>>14069510
>Talking to acquaintance
>Bizarre Asian man runs to the street corner behind us and throws a large pile of paper at passers by
>He dances AT them

>>14069540
>Slimy asian hands all over me
>suddenly flying all over the place
>land on dancing asian man's junk
>my face when I have no face

>>14069510
>At con
>Some cool geeks handing out fliers advertising their stuntmanship
>Strange Asian man on their team keeps throwing their fliers everywhere and dancing immediately afterward

>>14069576
>Creepy Asian guy at kids pool
>Keeps pelvic thrusting to dance music
>ask people if they like what they see

>>14069415
More tales of amazement from that hotel

>Near midnight, hear loud motorcycle outside.
>Jaw drops as general manager drive his bike into the lobby with a hot redhead in a bikini on the back.
>Manager a middle aged, obese Turkish man with extremely strong accent.
>Manager asks for key to empty room.
>Tells me if his wife calls, he's not here.
>Drives his bike down the hall and parks it outside the room I gave him.
>My rage as I dealt with noise complaints from that incident all night.

>Rent room to well dress business man.
>Pays cash. I give him a key.
>Comes back ten minutes later, ask for refund, claims he got called away.
>Supervisor tells me to give it to him, then check to room if it's still rentable.
>My face when room is trashed. Door busted down, TV smashed, bed overturned.

>Get phone call, asked to be transferred to a room. Do so.
>Almost immediately, same guys phones up, says he got cut off and to transfer again. Phone system crap so I do so.
>A few minutes later, women in leather bustier and fuck ass huge strap on walks into the lobby.
>Buys a bottle of wine from the store, and tells me not to transfer any more phone calls while she's fucking.

This one is back from the days when I was underaged

>getting drunk at friends place whilst his parents are out
>OH NOES we drank all the booze
>solution: go to my place where there is much booze to be had
>so we start making a 50 min trek to my place at 1:45 at night
>as were walking car pulls up along side us
>two latino guys in it
>they start asking where were going, if we need a lift and if there is a party there
>explain that were just heading home, there is no party and we don't need a lift
>they eventually leave
>10 mins later realise we've somehow managed to get a little lost
>same guys pull up along side us again
>start hassling us alot more aggressively
>tell us were wearing the wrong gang colours for this area and should just tell them where the party is
>they eventually drive off again
>we're all rather freaked out
>decide to diverge away from main streets and hopefully they won't find us again
>5 mins later the same car comes screaming down the street were on with the headlights off and drives up onto the curb
>we all dive into some ones backyard and just keep running and jumping over fences
>until we leap over a fence straight into a pool
>pool is filled with people
>guy in front of me tells me to watch where I'm going or he'll fucking hook me
>fucking freeze in terror
>he cracks up
>realise he's wearing a eyepatch, pirate hat and has a fake plastic pirate hook on
>turns out we crashed a uni flat costume party
>everything went better than expected