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  • File : 1298122122.png-(143 KB, 363x249, Menzogame drow Ssar Tarell merchant.png)
    143 KB Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:28 No.13958009  
    So. Trade with the drow.

    What d'you think you can buy? (What things do the drow have that would make a profit elsewhere?)
    What d'you think you can sell? (What do they really need/want product-wise that could be brought in for them?)

    This discussion is assuming right from the outset you have a way to get more than a whip of fangs to the face. There are merchants who go to the drow and trade with them - Sshamath is known for it, Menzoberranzan has its bazaar where the stalls sell things from many places...

    ...Judging from Madame Ssar here, hair-gel appears to be an option, for a start.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:30 No.13958019
    probably slaves and that sort of stuff
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:31 No.13958024
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:32 No.13958028
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    In multiple colours, no less.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:34 No.13958041
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    Some for everyone!
    Just watch out for the clearance sale fights, they get naaaaasty.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:37 No.13958053
    >What d'you think you can buy?

    Shitloads of spider silk

    >What d'you think you can sell?

    According to that pic? Hair relaxer, looks like the bitch needs it.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:37 No.13958054
    I chuckled.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:38 No.13958057
    Funky looking but functionally identical weaponry.
    The Finest Boot Polish in all the realms. Admittedly they sell it as Foundation.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:40 No.13958067
    Trading with the drow; a fun way to acquire exotic poisons to use on the surface. And quite possibly other peculiar recreational substances.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:41 No.13958070

    I'm quite sure there would be a market for exotic foods, I'm guessing they are tired of eating spider fritters.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:43 No.13958074
    The yuan-ti trade poisons and slaves with the drow. Both do well with it, but both specialize in different areas; the allure of the exotic also helps. Yuan-Ti offer good bodyguards, but aren't very good at domestic tasks, while drow offer perfect houseslaves but aren't doog at bodyguards.

    Druegar trade ornamentation, small bits of metal designed to be the perfect match to any outfit, in return for magical enchantments and raw materials. Several matrons have set up deals where deep dwarves are allowed to mine in their city in return for constant payment.

    Any other races you want to know the specifics of?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:45 No.13958082
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    Surplus military hardware from last century for ye olde spellbooks.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:46 No.13958088
    I had that as a feature for some things with drow - that fresh fruit was a huge status symbol, because while the dried stuff, though still rare, could be brought down normally, fresh fruit required spells to preserve it in just the right condition.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:48 No.13958097
    What about kuo-toa? They seem to sometimes get on without murdering each other there...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:51 No.13958110
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    ...The hell is that thing?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:51 No.13958115
    Ugh, the Kua-Toa. They don't do much trading, mostly because the Kua lack anything the drow truly want. Sometimes the Kua find wrecks under the sea or artifacts that have been given to the waves, and when that happens the drow give them spidersilk nets. The peculiarities of drow spidersilk means that it works very well underwater as well, as long as the Kua don't get close enough to the surface.

    Interestingly, the Kua-Toa don't know the value of a lot of things they bring in, because they just pick them up from the seafloor. This can lead to some crazy haggling.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:53 No.13958118
    Aboleths? Illithids?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:54 No.13958120

    Maxon M45 quad mount for M2 browning machineguns
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)08:59 No.13958135
    I don't know enough about aboleths to say.

    Illithids, though, are always looking for slaves. They don't care that much about anything except warm bodies, though they've shown a tendency towards the learned. The more bodies you can throw at the mind flayers, the better a deal you can get on spells and portents, which are their specialty. If you ever need something cast, ask an Illithid how many people it costs.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:01 No.13958147
    Drow plus spider-silk is covered:
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:07 No.13958166
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:11 No.13958181
    What do underground races like Drow and Dwarves use to make their alcohol? They got no grain.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:12 No.13958183
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    Whoring can into matriarchy?
    >best be manwhores
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:14 No.13958189
    Well, there was some mention of types of booze made with mushrooms and lichens and stuff... No idea how that'd work - special mushrooms?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:15 No.13958196
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    >Implying the bitches can resist my earthly treats.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:22 No.13958226
    What you should buy:
    weapons, armor and clothing of exceptional quality, magic items, poisons and alchemical potions, trained slaves (specialists)

    What you should sell:
    untrained, fresh slaves, exotic foods and drinks (imported from the surface world), raw materials, information
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:25 No.13958240
    Apparently mushroom wine can indeed be made:
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:47 No.13958338
    >Mushroom Wine
    >An Underdark drink fermented from mushrooms. It has a good deal of sugar added to it and tastes sweet, but may cause hallucinations...

    >Drow Azure Wine
    >The favored drink of the Drow and a main export from their lands. This glowing blue drink is said to cause hallucinations and be quite addictive, leading many to ask what is in it.

    >A mushroom wine that contains the venom from poisonous spiders. It is crafted by the drow. Though its taste is remarkable, it can also be deadly.
    (alt descrip)
    >Drow Spiderblood Wine-
    >A specialty drow wine with a strong bite, and a hint of spider venom. Alcohol isn't the only thing you have to worry about when drinking it... but it does taste good.

    >Deep Abyssal Ale
    >This is one of the most common drinks in drow taverns. A very strong black ale that is said to absorb light. Many underfolk of evil descent claim it is a sinful drink and thus all the better to drink.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)09:51 No.13958349
    Fapfiction scrolls. Seriously, Drow males are eager to get their hands on that stuff if to escape their femdom existence.
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 02/19/11(Sat)09:55 No.13958369

    Silk, tons, cheap. Magic items. Alchemical products. Casting components. Rare metals. Slaves.


    Food&drink, wood, slaves, common metals, luxury items, textile, raw materials, information.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)10:02 No.13958405
    Dunno where this came from originally, but someone apparently found this:

    >Some types of Drow Foods found in the Underdark

    >There is a dish which closely resembling Haggis. It consists of Rothe stomach, soaked in salt water for a minimum of 12 hours and then stuffed with a mixture of rothe liver & heart meat, suet and diced mushrooms. It is then baked and served in the form of thick slices. The drow serve this dish either highly spiced or with a tangy sauce.

    >Rothe meat would also be used to make sausages & jerky (for travel rations). Rothe blood would be collected as a base for sauces, or to make puddings >Rothe hooves could be boiled down to create gelatine >In addition to the food value, the drow would likely have slaves collect rothe dung to fuel cooking fires.

    >General staples of the drow diet include:

    >mushroom/fungus flour: used to make pastry and noodles
    >mushroom-based tofu: a meat-substitute that is a staple of "middle-class" drow.
    >lizard eggs
    >rats: usually eaten only by the lower class, this is beneath the dignity of the wealthy and noble houses.
    >fish: grown in ponds in or near the drow cities, or netted from underground rivers.
    >insects: particularly cave crickets. Usually served fried with a spicy mushroom sauce, or carmelized as a desert (along the lines of honey roast peanuts)
    >Subterranean Puffer fish: a dangerous delicacy enjoyed by the drow. If prepared incorrectly it can prove fatal (this is simply a variation of the Japanese dish)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)10:10 No.13958441
    Drow of the Underdark indicates drow have no great taboo against eating humanoids if they're no longer useful for anything else.

    Added to the other stuff mentioned and the ever-present poison risk, I'm guessing it might be a bit... interesting for visitors to drow cities if they go looking for local cuisine.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)10:12 No.13958448
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    Drow artefacts and other commodities would sell well to the right buyer elsewhere.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)10:33 No.13958562
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    >someone got her clothes from the surface

    Thoroughly incongruous drow picture
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)10:37 No.13958581
    Things to sell them
    >Indoor plumbing
    Things I want
    >Precious metals and gems from the deep earth
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)11:28 No.13958908
    I get the feeling they'd have come up with indoor plumbing of some kind already
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)11:30 No.13958921
    If anything, said plumbing is of magical design.

    Magic can suck dicks. I'm talking about plumbing that one does not need to waste their magical economy in creating.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)11:34 No.13958946
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    >What d'you think you can buy?
    >What d'you think you can sell?

    Damn it OP I read that in his voice.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:01 No.13959095
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    Wood and similar raw building materials are worth more than gold in the underdark.
    They pretty much just have stone and the rare giant mushroom down their so both for decoration and construction a pile of wood worth nothing on the surface is worth a kings ransom underground.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:09 No.13959150
    of course, there probably aren't many carpenters down there. slaves with craftsman type skills would go well with your wood shipment though.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:12 No.13959167

    Haha, no. Any illithid who can cast spells is an outcast, psionics only.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:23 No.13959263
    > Implying merchants know the difference.
    All they care is that the effects happen. It doesn't matter if it's a power shackled to an item or a spell.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:29 No.13959325
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    Our cosmetics line now also comes in blue! Perfect for attempting to seduce graduating drow warriors, and will even set off your pout beautifully if you fail!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:32 No.13959342
    Give Drow fully upgraded Red 9 and a shit ton of ammo.

    Hilarity ensues.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:47 No.13959479
    And by hilarity you mean everything within range dying, including each other?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:54 No.13959530
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    Things the drow can sell? Tips on how to look like that after having six kids...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)12:55 No.13959540
    Of course!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:06 No.13959624
    >Tips on how to look like that after having six kids...

    That's a racial thing... it comes from the aerobic exercise of repeated, non-stop orgasms that come with feeling the growing embryos in your womb strangle each other in utero with their umbilical cords. (I swear to god that's actual, official Drow fluff... it was in one of the Dragon Magazine articles....)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:13 No.13959671
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    Of course, the guys manage to look like this - pretty buff for somebody who was originally a mage and has spent a while as a drider...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:14 No.13959685
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:14 No.13959686
    New elf class, GUN ELVES!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:17 No.13959707
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:19 No.13959720
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    Jarlaxle's hats...

    There is no practical purpose for hats in the Underdark that couldn't be served by a skullcap or something.

    Which means he doesn't even have an excuse, he really is just wearing them because he can.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:21 No.13959744
    Oh Jarlaxle, equally homo and hetero at the same time.

    He's like a conundrum, wrapped in a riddle, folded into a vest wearing a fabulous hat.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:21 No.13959746

    I think I just turned gay.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:22 No.13959754
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    His hat in that game... I didn't think he could have one more outrageous than usual. I was wrong.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:23 No.13959761
    And by 'prepare to deal', he means prepare your anus.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:24 No.13959768
    This is now a Jarlaxle thread.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:24 No.13959774
    Yeah bitch!

    Three feathers in my hat, THREE!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:27 No.13959792
    Jarlaxle wears hats in the underdark because it makes him look like a pimp. he went to the surface when he was young and found that there were some men who wore great hats which gave them power over women of all races and so he emulated them

    we all did for him long ago
    >> Corporation incorporated 02/19/11(Sat)13:36 No.13959877
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    I personally prefer him with a thinner build
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:36 No.13959880
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    His outfit... I was watching a Let's Play. I'd heard of Jarlaxle. The LPer hadn't. His reaction to going around the corner to see this would have been worth the ENTIRE LP even if it had sucked.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:37 No.13959888
    i was always disappointed that Jarlaxle only got about 5 lines worth of dialog in BG2 they should of made him at least a 3 quest npc rather than a one shot fanservice piece
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:37 No.13959890
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    I guess in a matriarchy run by evil sluts, the only way to show rebellious independence is to be gayer than the gayest gay thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:39 No.13959906
    >Implying women do not prefer complete faggots over manly guys.

    That being said, manly and gay can be compatible (Freddy Mercury) but it's just not the way women would like it.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:43 No.13959936
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    To quote something else entirely, "You people and your quaint little categories."

    Jarlaxle slept with a dragon in human female form.
    ...And charmed her to the point she refused to kill him because he was too much fun.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:44 No.13959944

    So he has the awesomest beard ever.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:46 No.13959965
    The main things to get FROM drow are precious gems and metals, magic items, and on the more mundane side poisons which only exist in the underdark, since their antidotes also only exist in the underdark they'd be very valuable on the surface.

    For selling TO the drow along a similar vien as my earlier suggestion of wood many mundane surface items are very valuable below as luxury items. Flowers, cloths, glass, animals for pets and zoos or exotic meat for drow who mostly eat mushrooms and bugs. Really anything but precious gems and metals.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:49 No.13959993
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    Gun Elves are second best elves.

    When they invent delicious brown gun elves, the world will end.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:56 No.13960062
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    Just for you guys, I dug out Villains' Lorebook and screencapped Jarlaxle's entry, minus above pic already posted.

    And this was written even before his own trilogy where he revealed even more tricks and magic items.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)13:56 No.13960067
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:01 No.13960116

    >wears a hat and cape underground
    >has a magical eyepatch despite having both eyes, and switches it back and forth for lulz
    >awesome two-weapon fighting, often switching his weapons between hands in the middle of fights
    >has all the magic items. ALL OF THEM.
    >has his own elite assassin guild which is totally against the rules but all the matrons want him anyway

    I'm trying to come up with a reason why he isn't another faggoty FR mary-sue like Elminster or Drizzt, and I'm kind of failing.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:08 No.13960169
    >switches it back and forth for lulz
    Nope. It resists different stuff based on which eye it's over, so it's not entirely pointless.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:09 No.13960188
    Because you don't actually know what a mary sue is.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:12 No.13960221
    The books go some ways to explaining why he hasn't got killed yet
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:14 No.13960234
    Well for starters he's not the go-to man for deities in his setting when they wanna hang out with a mortal. That's a BIG step down from Elminster and Raistlin on the Mary Sue track.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:33 No.13960453
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    >mental note to self; rename this picture so it doesn't take so long to find
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:44 No.13960544
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    Judging by the priestess standing beside Matron Baenre, the drow have also invented double-sided tape, because I swear that looks like the only way she could be keeping that outfit on.
    It's a very nice dress she's almost wearing.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:49 No.13960593
    at least drow have no body hair so it won't sting like a bitch when she takes it off
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)14:55 No.13960643
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    >The matron is wearing the same thing
    >mfw I realize this
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:03 No.13960702
    his hat's are also magical, hell everything he wears is magical
    >> Ken !TrollKenUE 02/19/11(Sat)15:06 No.13960722
    Imports from the Underdark:
    Terror and Death
    Exports to the Underdark:
    Justice and Vengance
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:07 No.13960728
    That poor halfling. Using Detect Magic on Jarlaxle was a bad, bad idea...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:08 No.13960740
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:12 No.13960786
    i thought that it was a dwarf that did that
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:13 No.13960792
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    To buy from drow: instruments of death.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:14 No.13960798
    Nah, halfling, from this crazy band of mercenary halflings.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:14 No.13960804
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    You're so cool and edgy. I wish I could be like you, Alpha Dog.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:17 No.13960823
    Buy: magic items and other magic stuff

    Sell: Food and drink from the surface world. The drows' diet consists of mushrooms and rothe. Things like pork, beef, fruits, vegetables, ale and wine must be luxury consumption there.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:18 No.13960833
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    Quite well hung already, thank you, but the sentiment's appreciated.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:18 No.13960834
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:18 No.13960840
    there are fish in the underdark too
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:20 No.13960844
    An official war between a large overworld church and its paladins and mercenaries versus the Underdark would be fun.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)15:23 No.13960876
    there is a lot of shit in the Underdark, i doubt they would get very far
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)16:21 No.13961388
    Drow don't have the peasant railgun technology, and they don't know the secret of ladder dismantling economy needed to keep such weapons in operation.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)16:25 No.13961427
    why would they have technology that doesn't exist in the first place?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)20:41 No.13963958
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)20:45 No.13963992
    some idiots believe that if you get enough peasants in d&d you could use them to make a railgun because it's a free action to pass an object to another person
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)20:54 No.13964079
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    Correct me if I'm wrong, but is not a key component of a railgun the ability to actually shoot stuff out? Peasants can't throw for shit, and the momentum's limited by puny peasant musculature.

    Besides, know what they call a team of human peasants in the Underdark? Lunch.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)20:56 No.13964092
    Indeed, though technically speaking one COULD transport rails across a ridiculous distance in a ridiculously short amount of time using this method. You just couldn't actually KILL anything with them.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)20:56 No.13964094
    1. Hire a ton of peasants; let's just say that it is two thousand two hundred and eighty. Line them up in single file; this will form a chain of peasants two miles long. It'd be four miles back in MY day (witness me hiking up my 2nd Edition suspenders).
    2. Buy a ladder. Just buy a standard, ten-foot ladder. Disassemble the ladder into a bunch of rungs and a pair of mighty ten-foot wooden poles. Hand a pole to the peasant at the back of line.
    3. First round of combat. Peasant at the front of line readies an action to throw the pole at the enemy. Every peasant behind him readies an action to hand the pole to the peasant in front of him.
    4. Next round: peasants fire off their readied actions, passing the pole two miles down the line and hurling it in six seconds or less. Pole accelerates to the speed of 1200 miles per hour, or a little less than Mach 2 at sea level.
    5. Peasant Railgun can be reloaded and fired in less than 12 seconds.
    6. Variations - Really, your choice. Weapon is scalable, you could use your peasant railgun to fire a number of things at a really long range. Add more peasants to make the weapons even faster; paint them red to make them fasta. Use gobbos to make a DnD grot cannon. Hurl pointy bombs for HEAT weapons. Severed heads make an impressive psychological warfare tool. It's even more wild with a bag of holding - place a team of fighters in it for DYNAMIC ENTRY over castle walls and shit, hurl some fucking bear cavalry directly into enemy lines, who knows. You can also throw a halfling monk to take full advantage of Flurry of Blows at 1200 mph. Combine this with the 15,000,000 gold-a-day trick and you're ready to absolutely ruin your DM's day.
    7. ????
    8. Motherfucking PROFIT
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:01 No.13964127
         File1298167285.jpg-(35 KB, 640x640, merchant_by_deelane.jpg)
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    Underdark Spell Components
    Spider Silk

    Herbal Medicines and Antidotes.
    Surface food and Agricultural products
    Manufactured Goods
    Surface Spell Components
    Livestock... maybe.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:04 No.13964150
         File1298167443.png-(114 KB, 250x313, Masoj Yawn.png)
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    You seem to be forgetting one critical rule of D&D... Handy hint: it concerns DMs.

    >I make peasant railgun!
    "What? ...Fine. The pole heats as it accelerates, burning the hands of all the peasants passing it. They are unable to repeat the shot because they're crippled. And they can't work, so enjoy causing a local famine from untended crops!"


    "Momentum does not work that way, goodnight."
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:08 No.13964200
    The matriarchy is fucking nasty, if the High up Women hate someone they are not beyond putting women to shame by placing them below men.

    Additionally they are free dealing with enslaved females of other races.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:09 No.13964217
    It works that way in AD&D. The momentum is there, but none of the peasants actually take any damage from friction because of how the handing and reading action works in AD&D.

    So your beloved cave elves are dead with all those peasants broken down into smaller units passing steel bullets.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:31 No.13964443
    Unless the aforementioned rule comes into play.

    >"It kills everything!"
    >DM: No, it doesn't.

    Anyone who wanted to try that stupid shit around me would get fair warning; we can either enjoy the partial suspension of the laws of physics inherent in a D&D game without intentionally making stupid stuff happen - ("There's no rule against it!" "Now there is. House-rule.") - or their character can be forbidden to break the laws of physics at all.

    Is it seriously that hard to come up with genuinely clever things to do that don't involve pulling that kind of stupid trick?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:34 No.13964477
    Peasant railgun IS a genuinely clever thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:50 No.13964620
    It's a clever joke, but only that.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:51 No.13964629
    Death by puffer fish must be a leading cause of death.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:53 No.13964647
    Maybe Detect Poison would handle it.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)21:56 No.13964665
    Being an underdark trader is kind of a badass occupation.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/11(Sat)22:16 No.13964845
         File1298171761.jpg-(138 KB, 600x902, 1278217912649.jpg)
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    Or tourist shirts which say "I SURVIVED THE UNDERDARK"

    Which actually disintegrate under sunlight.

    And the ashes are highly toxic.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)02:04 No.13967183
    Yup. Making your way through the innumerable perils of the Underdark, dealing with cultures who would normally love to kill you, all to make a profit? Damn well earned your money.

    Any of the kind of lulzevil PCs who like to kill merchants etc to get their stuff for free might be very surprised by how deadly the trader actually is...
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)02:08 No.13967218
    "Yup. That's drow poison there, son. You won't be moving for a few good hours."
    "Won't be talking, either. So you an just listen: Don't you -ever- try and rob an honest merchant again, you son of a bitch."
    "That's what I thought. Mike, Tony. Strip him, leave him in the woods. If he's lucky, the poison will wear off before the wolves finish eating his legs."
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)02:14 No.13967272
    Also, if you can transport it, furniture made out of mushrooms. Even the cheap stuff is worth a fortune on the surface.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)02:26 No.13967368
    Petrified may be easier to keep moving.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)03:31 No.13967856
    I thought Ulirathids (or whatever they're called) were actually very high-ranking in Mind Flayer society.
    What's the source on the image, OP? What game is it?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)03:42 No.13967917
    you are right it's Ulitharid, they are seen as semi-divine being in Illithid society just below that of an Elder Brain
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:04 No.13968056
    Getting back on Loth's good side pretty much garuntees you are going to be a supreme specimen of Drow beauty when you transform back.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:09 No.13968092
    Imports (things drow buy, in no particular order): material components, wood, textiles, dyes, cosmetics, foodstuffs, fruits and vegetables, preserves, grains, flour, preserved meats, fragrances, spices, metals, crafts, magical items, spells, weapons, armor, alchemical items, machinery, slaves, livestock, gems, alcohol, medicine, cultural artifacts, artwork, maps, knowledge, information, games, funiture, and various household goods.

    I will point out, however, that if they're close enough to the surface for trade, then they are just as capable of raiding for many of these goods as well.

    as for what we could buy from them? many of the items on the previous list qualifies, and what they may buy when their's a shortage, they'll sell when there's a surplus. of particular interest though, are knowledge of and passage through caverns surounding their city, mercenaries, ores found only in the deep underdark, liasons to other underdark races and cities (though likely not the most well-recieved), poisons, magic, arcane knowledge, spellcasting (regular magic is often hindered by the nature of being deep underground, or "underdark radiation" in you play FR) slaves, and certain other goods unique to the underground. however, its important to point out that living is hard underground and resources are sparse. what can't be simulated with underdark goods may simply not exist down there, and that could have some pretty wild cultural and socio-economic reprecussions... for instance, clay and other ceramics are probably considerably rarer underground, as such materials are uncommon at greater depths... imagine where our society may have ended up without earthenwares?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:11 No.13968101
    Why don't males in drow society try to transform into females via polymorph or something?
    >> снайпер 02/20/11(Sun)04:12 No.13968116
         File1298193176.jpg-(140 KB, 1280x634, Tabnir_-_Bring_it_On.jpg)
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    Oh shit

    I just realized I have coke and ice cream in the fridge.

    I'm gone have me some floats.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:18 No.13968158
    Image is from the old DOS game Menzoberranzan. Which actually has some pretty cool music, posted by various people on youtube.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:20 No.13968163

    I imagine the females would see it as males trying to climb above their station in life, and kill them.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:20 No.13968167
    Lolth disapproves -10
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:25 No.13968199
    As far as waste disposal is concerned, Gelatinous Cubes at the chute-bottom.

    Canon Kobalds have done it.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:27 No.13968208
    Underdark Radiation is in all the Underdarks now.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:28 No.13968214
    Yea but theres no way to find out about it unless you cast dispel magic on every single female.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:34 No.13968236
    of detect magic, and anyone under the effects of a Transmutation spell is then hit with a dispel
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:35 No.13968240
    And yet that would include getting a cube when simply building the plumbing would be better in the long run and serve to partially modernize those backwards-ass faggots.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:36 No.13968247
    They have the ability to completely dispose of the waste (And people they dislike) as-is.

    Besides Drow don't modernize, Loth likes them exactly as they are.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:36 No.13968249
    Most females in noble houses would probably be under some kind of magical effect to make them appear more beautiful or whatever.

    You cant just walk around dispelling everyone you see.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:39 No.13968267
    Which is exactly why they will all die a slow and painful death, just as Lolth intends for them.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:44 No.13968290
    true but non-nobles wouldn't
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:49 No.13968307
    In-game it involved a scroll of "Drider Wish" being used near the House Baenre throne, which holds the spirits of those transformed, freeing it and turning him back.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:51 No.13968321
    Why don't females transmute themselves into males in human society?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)04:55 No.13968344
    Why do drow females need to bare so much flesh if they are a matriarchal society? Shouldn't it be the males being objectified?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)05:01 No.13968391
    read Drow of the Underdark it covers that
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)05:02 No.13968396
    They view clothing as ornamentation... or to hide flaws.
    Going around near-naked, to drow, says "I'm both physically perfect, and strong enough that I'm not afraid of you. Go on, just try killing me - you'll regret it as you die by inches."
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)05:08 No.13968429
    There are probably female social customs, dresses, and speaking patterns that most males aren't fully aware of. Combined with a most probable horrible torturing death for trying to disguise yourself as a woman it's probably not worth the risk.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)05:12 No.13968455
    One thing a lot of people miss about the drow is that lolth micromanages fucking everything. The Spider Queen expects everyone to be constantly at each other's throats and making power grabs and fuels their ambitions, and people who please her the most with prayer and deed often get the first pick when she takes someone down for displeasing her.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)05:15 No.13968479
    that's why i like Eberron's drow they don't need lolth to micromanage their society
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)05:16 No.13968487
         File1298197019.jpg-(141 KB, 600x563, 1285381324335.jpg)
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    Both they and Lolth get off on maximizing CAN NOT HAVE
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:02 No.13968751
         File1298199776.jpg-(30 KB, 400x723, Jarlaxle_Baenre_by_Syarul.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:15 No.13968820
         File1298200525.jpg-(192 KB, 551x879, jarlaxle_2011_by_zardra-d38mqh(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:20 No.13968852
         File1298200856.jpg-(30 KB, 300x382, Jarlaxle_2.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:22 No.13968856
         File1298200929.jpg-(21 KB, 337x400, ViernayJarlaxle.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:28 No.13968893
         File1298201317.jpg-(448 KB, 667x752, 1296550876104.jpg)
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    Some sort of future Drow?

    Too badass to be Drowtales.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:29 No.13968897
         File1298201376.jpg-(144 KB, 1395x816, 1294814317978.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:32 No.13968912
    Judging by the gear and the vacant expression, the poor fuck must be trapped in a Hellgate: London game.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)06:34 No.13968926
         File1298201663.jpg-(407 KB, 1276x1024, 1288855453306.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:09 No.13969105
         File1298203779.jpg-(164 KB, 730x1024, Drow_by_Tashshi.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:30 No.13969185
         File1298205022.jpg-(134 KB, 680x452, spidercloth.jpg)
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    Fabrics that require stuff found on the surface might be in high demand to take down to the drow.
    Wool, cotton, linen...
    Silk sheets = luxury on the surface, but cotton or linen sheets might become novelty/luxury to the drow.

    <- Pic is incidentally of silk woven of the threads of golden orb spiders - it's naturally that colour, not dyed.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:48 No.13969291
         File1298206117.jpg-(46 KB, 670x251, full-silk_hi-res_d66-06.jpg)
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    It's so pretty.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:50 No.13969301
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:53 No.13969315
         File1298206396.jpg-(68 KB, 448x336, golden orb weaver.jpg)
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    Golden Orb Weaver silk is naturally that color

    U Jelly.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:54 No.13969318
         File1298206452.jpg-(145 KB, 800x1306, Drow_by_Johndowson.jpg)
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    Drow in wool, cashmere or pashmina... an interesting thought
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:55 No.13969327
         File1298206549.jpg-(1.72 MB, 3000x2332, Pharaoh Tutankhamun's dagger w(...).jpg)
    1.72 MB

    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)07:55 No.13969329
    drow sweater girls!
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)08:17 No.13969452
         File1298207878.jpg-(188 KB, 621x773, 383559%20-%20Pirotess%20Record(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)08:20 No.13969467
         File1298208011.jpg-(33 KB, 295x557, shadowelf.jpg)
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    Posting non-drow to counteract non-drow.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)08:22 No.13969481
         File1298208156.jpg-(169 KB, 338x656, 419282%20-%20drow.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)08:26 No.13969502
         File1298208384.jpg-(775 KB, 1100x825, Passion_by_Cyzra.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)08:27 No.13969506
    For a short while I thought that that white loincloth was her pubic hair.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)09:59 No.13970016
         File1298213988.jpg-(34 KB, 557x755, drow-daggers.jpg)
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    >to buy
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:03 No.13970036
    I can't be jelly of ugly gold. Silver is so much more better.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:43 No.13970258
         File1298216599.jpg-(573 KB, 700x938, Drow_Studs_Quarterly_by_Darrke(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:44 No.13970267
         File1298216681.jpg-(585 KB, 700x938, DSQ_Fall04_Edition_by_Darrkest(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:45 No.13970275
         File1298216740.jpg-(31 KB, 251x240, 1297627814855.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:46 No.13970280
         File1298216796.jpg-(651 KB, 700x938, DSQ_Winter_05_Edition_by_Darrk(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:47 No.13970288
         File1298216866.jpg-(636 KB, 700x938, DSQ_Spring05_Edition_by_Darrke(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:49 No.13970294
         File1298216941.jpg-(345 KB, 650x933, Drow_Priestess_Rau_by_Darrkest(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:49 No.13970296
    Sell - Weapons
    Buy - Weapons

    Weapons are the one thing Drow will always want more and better versions of.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)10:53 No.13970321
         File1298217210.jpg-(438 KB, 669x950, 1294554986694.jpg)
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    >> Gay Skull 02/20/11(Sun)13:14 No.13971298
         File1298225658.jpg-(168 KB, 351x422, itsuki fabulous.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:31 No.13973762
         File1298241114.jpg-(437 KB, 700x931, Razz__t_and_Houndaer_by_Darrke(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:35 No.13973798
         File1298241324.png-(641 KB, 700x875, The_Bastard_is_BACK_by_Darrkes(...).png)
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    If you're still around just now, lemme know, and I'll see about a thread on /y/ or something for the ones I can't post here, if you want it.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:38 No.13973825
         File1298241487.jpg-(29 KB, 300x491, Misery_the_Drow_by_Cyzra.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:39 No.13973842
         File1298241577.jpg-(243 KB, 750x1061, Necromantic_Drow_Sorcerer_by_D(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:41 No.13973859
    Not that guy, but yes please.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:41 No.13973862
         File1298241690.jpg-(273 KB, 944x750, Of_Like_Minds_by_DarrkestDrow.jpg)
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    >> tha/tg/uy 02/20/11(Sun)17:46 No.13973916
         File1298241982.gif-(55 KB, 498x264, WTF 3.gif)
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    What is this... I don't even...
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:49 No.13973941
    Some reason the drow wouldn't have magazines, sir?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:50 No.13973960
         File1298242242.jpg-(259 KB, 1107x831, 1275447481535.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:57 No.13974037
         File1298242629.jpg-(225 KB, 1639x1000, snow_drow_by_zardra-d39suze.jpg)
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    If I did that right it should do it...
    Full link just in case.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)17:59 No.13974064
         File1298242769.jpg-(89 KB, 477x800, webdressdrowlady.jpg)
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    >> Alpharius 02/20/11(Sun)18:01 No.13974090
         File1298242889.png-(178 KB, 910x435, geht.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:02 No.13974109
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:05 No.13974140
    Once you go Drow, it's all you'll ever know.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:12 No.13974208
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:14 No.13974231
    you pronounce drow like know?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:17 No.13974261
         File1298243832.jpg-(507 KB, 3000x1304, 537297%20-%20Dark_Elf%20Dungeo(...).jpg)
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    >> Alpharius 02/20/11(Sun)18:18 No.13974275
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:29 No.13974421
         File1298244570.jpg-(256 KB, 800x1043, Dark_Elves_by_Bobbaji.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:32 No.13974455
         File1298244753.jpg-(489 KB, 900x1210, Drow_males_are_people_too__LOL(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:35 No.13974483
         File1298244942.jpg-(207 KB, 745x1046, Drow_donalds_by_RollerBoyjerem(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)18:40 No.13974531
         File1298245223.jpg-(291 KB, 794x593, drow_chick_fil_a_by_rollerboyj(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:05 No.13974792
         File1298246713.jpg-(49 KB, 431x680, Drow_twins_by_Gold-Seven.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:13 No.13974864
    suprisingly ontopic
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:41 No.13975203
         File1298248898.jpg-(89 KB, 506x750, Tura__Cleric_of_Aeokh.jpg)
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    Females are in charge, but not all females are in charge.

    Imagine you're a young female drow. Okay, hurry up and fap, then come back. Ready?

    You're a young female drow. Not only that, but your mother is Matron. Yay, right? Problem: you have four other sisters, two older and two younger. You want to become Matron some day, because you enjoy being alive and you're not particularly interested in making yourself the obviously-harmless lackey of one of your sisters. You're going to need power, and for that you're going to need allies.

    There are other female clerics in the House, ones who aren't the Matron's children. They're another problem entirely. What we're worried about now is all the male wizards, soldiers, assassins and other skilled lackeys that run around the place. Nominally, they all serve the Matron...but this is drow society, and the moment she stops being the Matron, either naturally or due to a sudden onset of decapitation, they stop owing anything to her. They all have to be deferential to you, sure; but why would any of them follow you and not one of your sisters?

    If you ignore them, then one of these days you're going to wake up in the morning with one of your sisters and a half dozen killers in your room. You need bodyguards, you need wizards and consorts and informants, people who think you're their best bet for power and influence. This is where it becomes politics, not just "you have to do what I say because I have a vagina!"

    It's not all about sex appeal, of course; and you certainly won't get a strong power base by just fucking every male you come across. But you need a flair for the dramatic along with everything else. You need to be able to grab their attention, intrigue them and think that maybe, if they play their cards right, they might be fucking the beautiful young Matron someday.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:51 No.13975301
         File1298249471.jpg-(286 KB, 1280x1024, Rappelz.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:53 No.13975329
         File1298249613.jpg-(233 KB, 1000x1200, Ghenni__tiroth_Tlabbar_by_fran(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:55 No.13975353

    your post is glorious.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)19:58 No.13975387
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:01 No.13975413
    how do drow dudes put up with all that shit

    braving the underdark and being reviled by all puny surface dwellers is a ton safer than staying in Mezzoberanzan
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:01 No.13975415
         File1298250087.jpg-(180 KB, 551x825, 1269728946988.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:04 No.13975448
         File1298250276.jpg-(92 KB, 490x800, 4a17268a9617ba9d3b5055b14ee3fe(...).jpg)
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    How many people get out of North Korea each year? Some, sure, but not even more than a tiny percentage of those who MIGHT go, or who think about going.

    And there aren't mind flayers and quaggoths and duergar between North and South Korea.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:07 No.13975485
    No, just miles of barbed wire, land mines, patrols of armed guards, and thousands of neighbors would would gladly turn you in to prove their loyalty to the state. All this while you're half-starved and have holes in your shoes, and no resources besides the clothes on your back. If you're really lucky, maybe you scored a stolen army uniform.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:13 No.13975556
         File1298250793.jpg-(420 KB, 694x1100, 1272614042522.jpg)
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    Well, there you go.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:18 No.13975603
    slaves, drugs, info about higher "groups" elsewhere, cursed items, gems/metals, weapons, "favors", and such.
    however this would be more likely a Drow from a clan/house rather than just a solo merch
    >> Foron !!NbubB9jqLRJ 02/20/11(Sun)20:19 No.13975620
         File1298251187.jpg-(445 KB, 800x1200, 1292544667093.jpg)
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    >> Snarky Bastard 02/20/11(Sun)20:21 No.13975636
    i'd give them slaves and raw materials. i'd ask for assassins and mages.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:27 No.13975692
    >>13975448How many people get out of North Korea each year?

    tons, but they're the wealthy kids that party in Bangkok. Then they go back home.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:41 No.13975880
         File1298252496.jpg-(235 KB, 1000x1200, Gromph_Baenre_by_francis001.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:51 No.13975993
    anyone else think Jarlaxle looks like Robert Englund in this pic
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)20:52 No.13976021
    ment this pic >>13968852
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)21:11 No.13976221
    Not seeing it, I'm afraid. Maybe needs suitable comparison image.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)21:25 No.13976329
    Oh god. I've come full circle. It makes me smile a little bit when I see pictures in this thread that I have commissioned.

    Some of these characters you're reposting are my originals.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)21:48 No.13976518

    ...Have I RPed with you?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)22:57 No.13977207

    Ulitharids don't cast spells either.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/11(Sun)23:20 No.13977491

    What do you trade down? Depends on what you have rigged to do it with. Herbs, certainly. Spices for flavoring, alchemical components, medicals. Hemp. Opium. Drow are notorious for enjoying exotic recreational drugs, and a good potent THC-rich bit of the ganja isn't something you'll easily get in the Underdark. Rare woods- ebony, teak.

    Silk would be the easiest large-scale commodity to transport in return, and so, so useful. The silk road was a literal gold mine in the real world, and likely just as much here. Rare metal dusts and bars, gems, mithril. And herbs and spices in turn from below, rare wines and even good common Underdark brews that would gain value in their rarity above.

    Luxury is the best road to profit when transport is going to be such a pain in the ass.
    >> Alpharius 02/21/11(Mon)00:27 No.13978355
    Huh, I cme back and the thread isn't a war abut pronunciation.
    >> Alpharius 02/21/11(Mon)00:31 No.13978420
    Can you provide names for the pictures?

    Or just say which they are?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)01:57 No.13979482
    Now I'm seeing a range of surface knockoffs designed to appeal to the pretentious.

    "Can you handle the darkness of Drow Apparel?*"

    * Not made by actual drow. Any resemblances between this product and actual Underdark attire are coincidental and not to be taken as evidence of illicit trade with evil beings.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)02:07 No.13979566
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    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)03:09 No.13980097
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    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)03:29 No.13980234
    Underdark Trader Time!

    "Wake up, kid." The voice was gruff, the hand shaking his shoulder ungentle.

    Jarid stirred. "Mm... Five more minutes..."


    He opened his eyes, and went still. The man standing over him, a grizzled human who looked to be in his fifties, had a distinct scowl on his face.

    "Stowaways," the man muttered. "Always thinking a covered cart is a route to adventure."

    "Who... who are you?" Jarid asked, feeling rather intimidated.

    "I... am Vengad Borlahan, boldest trader in the region. And you? You are in my trade goods."

    Jarid sat up, and looked around. It seemed strangely dark, and he could hear faint echoes of their voices. "Where am I?"

    "The Underdark, boy. And if you want to survive, best make yourself useful."
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)03:37 No.13980275

    Jarid Fielden had been an ordinary boy, his only destiny to one day inherit the family farm. All this had changed, however, in Vengad's trade caravan.

    He'd been handed some chainmail and a shortsword, and had been informed that he was now a guard. The sixteen-year-old hadn't dared protest - Slyssin, a tiefling member of the group, had taken great pleasure in telling him how many predators there were that he'd possibly encounter if he wandered off alone, and the sharp-toothed grin accompanying this was a deterrent in itself.

    At least Slyssin had begun to show him how to use the sword - Vengad ignored him wherever possible.

    He was still slightly unsure what they were doing down here. Why trade with monsters?

    Slyssin just laughed when Jarid broached the subject. "They pay damn good, kid. Best reason for anything."
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)03:46 No.13980325
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    I sell spiders and spider related accessories.
    >> Alpharius 02/21/11(Mon)03:50 No.13980347
    Hey, wake up! You were dreaming. Not even last nights Snirfveblin raid could wake you.

    What's your name?
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)03:52 No.13980359

    He had lost track of the days. There didn't seem to be any reason behind their divisions of time without sun or moon as guides - he ate, trained, marched and slept when he was told, no external cycles governing his time.

    After yet another long march, gnawing on a chunk of dry bread, he asked Slyssin, "So what could the people here even want?"

    Slyssin just smirked. He gestured to where the half-orc, Urtin Bladetusk, poked food into the cages of several small animals. "Beasties, lumber, drinks... you saw the crate Jenna smacked you away from - got fruit in it, all spelled for freshness."

    Jarid nodded ruefully. Jenna, pale-haired, skin oddly grey-tinged, and slender, seemed a perpetual fountain of irritability. She'd slapped him upside the head five times already for trivial mistakes, and he suspected only a timely summons from Vengad had kept her from punching him on one or two other occasions. "She does seem to know a lot about what's going on..."

    Slyssin laughed raucously. "Jenna? Know what's going on? Kid, you don't know the half of it. She's the only reason we get through these tunnels without losing more than one or two guards a trip." The garrulous tiefling continued, lowering his voice, "Boy, I tell you, she's half-drow. She knows the Underdark right proper."

    Jenna walked past at that moment, and the conversation ended. Jarid sighed, finished his meal, and turned in. He had watch duties later; best to get sleep while he could.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)03:55 No.13980383
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    I loled


    pic related
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)04:20 No.13980593

    Everything seemed to be going so smoothly. Then, however, they met their first drow patrol.

    The woman at its head... Jarid stared. She was wearing even less than that priestess of Sune who'd passed through the village when he was fourteen, the one who'd been fodder for such interesting dreams.

    The others... he couldn't tell, at first, in the dim light, but suspected they were male. He stifled a snort. Even the males had prettier faces than Delia Millsworth, and she'd called herself the prettiest girl in the village. The woman, on the other hand... with the faint shred of knowledge about women Jarid had picked up from having three older sisters, he suspected that the drow woman would have sent Delia running off to fume in private and throw plates at walls in fits of jealousy.

    And looking at the drow woman, Jarid suspected she'd find that hilarious if it happened.

    Jenna was speaking to the patrol in an odd language Jarid understood none of, but they seemed to be following all right, even if they didn't look entirely pleased about what they were hearing. It wasn't until later that he would learn that was just their natural expression.
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)04:32 No.13980664

    "Don't stare," Slyssin whispered. "They don't like it when - Oh, gods..."

    The drow woman was approaching them.

    Jarid's face acquired an expression more suited to a mouse confronted with an owl. He'd heard about the drow, how they stole and ate disobedient children... Even, from a whispered conversation with his friends, how they tied boys to the floor, buried them in dirt except their faces and groins, and then called giant spiders to eat what remained. He shivered.

    But... this one... he could hardly keep from staring at her. His gaze kept slipping toward the sheer amount of gleaming jet-black skin on display. Hormones warred with stark terror, coming to an indecisive draw that served to keep him fixed in place, not moving.

    She came closer, closer... and then moved past him, draping herself over Slyssin, tracing the curve of his horns with her fingers. Jarid wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.

    Getting no reaction from the tiefling, whose expression was masterfully deadpan, the drow woman shifted her attention to Jarid, wrapping an arm around his waist in a possessive manner.

    "Ngk," he managed.
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)04:38 No.13980688

    He heard her laugh, soft and musical, and tentatively moved to return her gesture.

    She slapped him, hard, and then grabbed him, twisting his arm and forcing him to the ground. He yelped in pain as she kicked him in the belly.

    And then Jenna stepped in, offering a hasty explanation.

    The drow woman listened, expression haughty, and then shrugged and turned away.

    Jarid didn't move until the drow were gone.

    Slyssin hauled him to his feet, laughing to himself. "Well, kid, you've survived your first encounter with the drow. Lucky you."

    Jarid groaned quietly and rubbed his face where he'd been slapped. Just now, he didn't feel so lucky.

    "Cheer up! She didn't kill you, and she could have done. We've lost a few guards that way. Drow like their little games."

    "And we really have to go to where more of them live?"

    "Oh, yes." Slyssin grinned. "Maybe you'll even be alive to enjoy the return to the surface, if you're more careful."
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)04:59 No.13980801

    The city of the drow was unlike anything Jarid could have imagined. It was beautiful in an eerie way, and the people were stunning, but here and there he saw signs of terrible misery; a group of slaves being led toward an auction; a drow priestess whipping a kobold to death; a pair of drow warriors jeering as they toyed with a rebellious orc slave, their blades leaving many thin cuts, bleeding him out strike by strike.

    There was one sight, however, that distracted him. More money than he'd seen in his life was changing hands around him - he even had some of it now, courtesy of guards' pay from Vengad.

    The sight of a Matron Mother floating by on a driftdisc or a drow wizard casting some unknown spell captivated him at first, and then became merely part of the tapestry of new experiences that was the city of the drow.

    He was not, however, expecting to meet the priestess from the patrol again, which was why it was such a surprise to see her walk over beside Slyssin, smiling sweetly. He blinked and tilted his head. Was she here to kick him again?
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)05:00 No.13980808

    Slyssin snickered. "Told her a bit more about you. You've something she wants." The tiefling made a brief, obscene gesture.

    Jarid went scarlet. "B-but I've... I've never..."

    "Figured that out fast enough," his fellow guard snorted.

    The drow priestess took hold of Jarid's arm, imperiously tugging on it and directing him to follow. A little dazed, a touch confused, and a lot embarrassed, Jarid obeyed.

    He was very nearly late for the caravan's departure, and despite a few aches and pains here and there from the priestess's enthusiasm, couldn't seem to erase the foolish smile on his face.

    Slyssin, for his part, practically howled with laughter at the mere sight of him. "Man, looks like you got thrown through a thornbush and liked it."

    "That's enough," Jenna put in. "Time to go."

    They set off, Jarid mentally comparing his recent experiences with his life before the journey. Could he really go back to farming? Settle down with a farmwife who'd raise children and chickens both?
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)05:10 No.13980839


    Jarid sat upon the old bench, thinking back on that journey. It had been ten years since he'd returned home, and the memories were still vivid.

    He saw Delia hurry past, chasing a toddler who seemed determined to play in the mud in spite of a recent bath. Her youthful good looks had hardened somewhat, the sun browning and roughening her skin. A farmer's life was hard on everyone.

    Every time the trade caravan came through the village he was reminded of what his life might have been. Upon reflection, however, he was just fine as he was.

    Jarid blinked. He could smell smoke. There was a thundering of hooves, and a band of rough-looking men rode into the village. One of them pointed a sword at Delia and grinned, showing rotten teeth.

    "We'll have everything of value you peasant scum own," their leader shouted. "Or we'll burn down this mudpit you call a village, and kill anyone not running faster than these horses."
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)05:17 No.13980889
    Jarid stood slowly. "You want to be leaving now," he told them evenly, brushing the dust from his clothing.

    "And why's that?" The leader nudged his horse closer.

    Jarid whistled shrilly. He reached out, and grabbed the man's leg, yanking him from the saddle violently. In moments, he had his blade at the raider's throat.
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)05:22 No.13980915
    The rest of the caravan were quick to respond, surrounding the motley band. The first raider to try to get away toppled from the saddle, Jenna's crossbow bolt through one eye.

    Jarid nodded in thanks to the half-drow, and she grinned back, quite fiercely. She did love these chances for a fight, whenever they came about.

    The head of the trade caravan, inheritor following Vengad's retirement, gazed down at the raider coolly. "I trade in the Underdark. I fear nothing that walks the surface, and I'm more than a match for you."

    It was enough.

    With the raiders taken care of, it was time to move on. Jarid hummed a tune to himself as they departed. Another day was another chance at adventure and profit. His lean face shifted into a confident smile. He couldn't wait to be back in the caverns; they reminded him of the excitement of being alive.
    >> Farseer Miriel !Pr17GXUZvo 02/21/11(Mon)05:23 No.13980925
    >And that's all. Finis.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)05:24 No.13980927
    Okay, this fucking thread's been here since Saturday morning. It's gotta die!
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)05:26 No.13980945
    Nah, I don't think so. It's still good for another 60 posts or so before it autosages.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)09:04 No.13982189
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    >> teka 02/21/11(Mon)10:25 No.13982791
    thanks writefriend Miriel
    >> Anonymous 02/21/11(Mon)12:11 No.13983550
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    That was amazing! You are great!

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