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  • File : 1297824641.jpg-(122 KB, 1280x960, 1271310403164.jpg)
    122 KB Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:50 No.13917447  



    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:52 No.13917477
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:54 No.13917504
         File1297824893.jpg-(63 KB, 650x494, djspider.jpg)
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    Throw a tiny stick away from the desk. As a wolf spider, it is compelled to fetch because in its tiny arachnid heart it truly believes it is a canine.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:55 No.13917518





    >> Lark 02/15/11(Tue)21:57 No.13917536
    man spiders are so adorb

    You should probably just leave it alone, they're usually attracted to the stuff that snacks on you. also if you fail to kill a spider it WILL come for you.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:57 No.13917537

    >implying spiders have hearts instead of black, frozen orbs of pure malice
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:57 No.13917550

    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:57 No.13917551
    Capture him in the Emperor's Holy Empty-Drinking-Glass!

    The xeno will be at your mercy, to be purged at the nearest convenient occasion.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)21:58 No.13917558
         File1297825110.jpg-(39 KB, 500x375, cutespider.jpg)
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    Raise it to be your animal companion!
    >> Luna Wolf 02/15/11(Tue)21:59 No.13917566

    Its clearly a foul Mega-Arachnid. And the Ultramarines are once again attempting to steal the credit belonging to other, more noble legions.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:05 No.13917667
    Blood Magpies and Glorymarines?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:07 No.13917686
    Stupid 'umie, you catch da spida, den you put a lobba on its back, den you ride it at da odda 'umies wit da spikey bitz.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:08 No.13917707
    Perhaps it's from the space wolves?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:09 No.13917721
    Tinyhammer versus spiders and other household pests.
    Make it so, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:10 No.13917730
    pretty sure thats a huntsman not a wolf spider....
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:10 No.13917731
    Oh shit!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:10 No.13917740
         File1297825854.jpg-(215 KB, 1292x777, 1287750094376.jpg)
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    Forgot the picture FUCK
    >> Mr. Hyde !!cPIqDLBbmTg 02/15/11(Tue)22:11 No.13917750
         File1297825885.jpg-(43 KB, 456x504, commissargrim.jpg)
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    The existence of a Xenos scum is Heresy.

    Allowing a Xenos to continue existing is Double Heresy.

    Backing away in fear from a Xenos is Triple Heresy.

    What you are doing is backing away in fear from a Xenos AND THEREFORE allowing it to exist.

    That, my friend, is PENTAHERESY
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:13 No.13917768
    And calling a heretic your friend, Commissar, is hexaheresy!


    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)22:18 No.13917821
         File1297826331.jpg-(69 KB, 537x800, 1297436934825.jpg)
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    It's septaheresy.

    You know what the selection process is, for distinguishing between commisars and inquisitorial acolytes, in the schola? Those selected to become commisars eventually stop counting. Those who show the promise that could become an inquisitor pass out.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)23:30 No.13918526
    put a cup over it, slide a piece of paper under the cup, take it outside, release it.

    Or just stomp it, if you really hate spiders for some reason. It is not immune to your mighty feet.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)00:00 No.13918831

    Oh no, look at me, I'm a space marine baby who can't handle a little spider! Stand aside, I've got some Catachans here ready to take the thing down with their bare hands.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:16 No.13920497
         File1297844206.jpg-(192 KB, 1612x1068, Spider.cooktown.australia.1.wi(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:17 No.13920505
         File1297844267.jpg-(31 KB, 750x600, australia-spider-welcome.jpg)
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    At least it's not an Australian Death Spider.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:18 No.13920511
    You nigger.

    I was about to go to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:21 No.13920530
    What would you say if I told you I have a pet bird-eating tarantula?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:22 No.13920541
    You must purge the Xenos. It is your solemn duty as a servant of The Emperor.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:23 No.13920547
         File1297844626.jpg-(45 KB, 400x518, earth-graphics-200_1080291a.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:24 No.13920560
         File1297844683.jpg-(63 KB, 750x573, motherfucking_house_spider_shi(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:24 No.13920562
         File1297844692.jpg-(156 KB, 504x576, What-the-Fuck-is-this-Shit-.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:26 No.13920575
         File1297844799.jpg-(42 KB, 500x750, 1zvwspe.jpg)
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    I don't know but it's real.

    Have a drink, btw.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:28 No.13920585
         File1297844887.jpg-(25 KB, 500x409, 476545-giant_spiders_super.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:28 No.13920589
         File1297844926.jpg-(56 KB, 450x538, bird-eating-spider[1].jpg)
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    Australian Golden Orb spider.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:29 No.13920592
    I like spiders. Moar plz.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:29 No.13920597
    In Australia Spiders > Birds
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:30 No.13920604
    Let it bite you
    You might get sick and have a day off
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:32 No.13920616
         File1297845162.jpg-(34 KB, 640x427, cute-spider.jpg)
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    Thanks. Have a cute spider.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:32 No.13920617

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:34 No.13920624
         File1297845248.jpg-(55 KB, 694x581, Spider-y Vengeance.jpg)
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    Pic very, very related. May the Emperor rest your soul, OP
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:35 No.13920633
         File1297845321.jpg-(152 KB, 699x1100, spider lizard.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:35 No.13920634
    Oh god.

    My skin is crawling.

    I will now admit that I am a complete pussy and little girl.

    Ridicule at will, gentlemen.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:36 No.13920646
         File1297845414.jpg-(69 KB, 502x404, brave-girl-with-creepy-spider.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:37 No.13920648

    Stop this shit anon.

    Seriously, stop this shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:37 No.13920651
         File1297845442.jpg-(28 KB, 600x450, box of spiders.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:37 No.13920654
    Consider yourself jeered; mocked.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:38 No.13920667

    Thank you.

    I'm not glad that I live in England, and thus do not have to see things that would make me weep and flee my house.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:39 No.13920672
         File1297845557.jpg-(28 KB, 450x418, redback vs snake.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:40 No.13920682
         File1297845629.jpg-(44 KB, 450x602, spider scorpion aids ad.jpg)
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    /tg/ on bottom.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:41 No.13920686
    I've held a big fucking spider before. Was the size of my cat.

    It actually sat quite well on my forearm, so I could cradle it. Big cute motherfucker that was, had to get rid of it as it was apparently dangerous.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:41 No.13920687
    Ha, faggot queer homosexual pussy little girl. I bet you have no balls.

    What, did you expect me to make some form of amusingly hypocritical comment here, thus showing it was a joke? You really are a dickless lesbian. The only difference is, lesbians act like men. I've been covered in tarantulas for fun before.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:42 No.13920692
    Ever have a pet one? I feed Rosie crickets and mice for a treat.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:42 No.13920693
    Confirming that large spiders are impressively light in the hand.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:42 No.13920696

    I feel much better now.

    Maybe your manly man words will help me man up.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:44 No.13920698
         File1297845842.jpg-(318 KB, 704x672, spider trolling.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:44 No.13920704

    Nah, not officially. I've got a few that hang out in the corner above my bed/curtain rail, I always take them outside when they do that droprope thing in front of/on top of my head, since I get worried I might crush them I'd I dot see them.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:45 No.13920717
         File1297845946.jpg-(321 KB, 645x3012, tarantula blender.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:46 No.13920721
    >had to get rid of it as it was apparently dangerous

    A spider that big isn't fucking dangerous.

    It's bite will hurt LIKE A BITCH, however.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:46 No.13920727
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:48 No.13920734

    Tell my mother that.
    She was concerned it'd death match the cat or something.

    This is England as well, big spiders (without tiny bodies and huge legs) are not that common.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:49 No.13920739
    Why would you do that?
    I used to have a "pet" one as a kid. Had a little web nest inside the hole where the spigot for my hose came out. I used to feed it bees and ants, even some bluebottles I got. Then my mom washed out the hole and killed it. That was a sad day.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:49 No.13920740
    I'm only afraid of white tail-spiders, i mean if I get bit by a redback I'll throw up or something but white-tails will rot your goddamn flesh.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:53 No.13920763
         File1297846385.jpg-(43 KB, 426x681, White_Tailed_Spider_with_Egg_S(...).jpg)
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    Only if you're allergic.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:54 No.13920775

    Beetles are my impromptu pet of choice.

    Every time I've gone in my tent it its guaranteed I will find Fred. He's like the tanker bug out of Starship troopers only much much smaller and not particulary deadly. He's up to his seventh iteration now.

    Fred rocks.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:54 No.13920776
    Tame it, ride it, teach your foes to FEAR THE SPIDER
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:55 No.13920780
    Thanks, I'm never going to take any unsealed drink besides water ever again.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:57 No.13920791
    C'mon, you ape, you wanna live forever?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:57 No.13920794

    I've been wanting to do this for some time.

    Magos, fire the Writefag cylinders and recite the litanies.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:57 No.13920796
         File1297846638.jpg-(110 KB, 800x870, spider chart.jpg)
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    Welcome to Australia.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:57 No.13920799
    I'm not man enough to get bit by one to find out. necrosis is not something I want to experience.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)03:57 No.13920803
    Purge the Xeno
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:00 No.13920819

    >no magpies

    I am disappoint(ed)
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:01 No.13920827
    >If bitten try and catch it

    Burn it, The whole area,
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:02 No.13920831
         File1297846966.jpg-(316 KB, 1024x800, australian animals.jpg)
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    That's just the spiders.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:05 No.13920847
    Sounds like you guys need to hear a story from North America

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:05 No.13920849
    What happens when you go to grab your flamethrower to purge spiders, and find your flamethrower covered in spiders?

    WHAT THEN, /TG/?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:06 No.13920859
         File1297847216.jpg-(29 KB, 800x600, STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.jpg)
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    so I heard we were having a spider thread.
    Here's the hand of a guy who got bit by a particularly nasty one, and was a dumbass in trying to treat it.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:09 No.13920879
    I have a hole in my leg the size of my fist from a wolf spider, spent 2 months in hospital. Cunt bit me while I was asleep in my bed.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:09 No.13920882

    petrol and a match
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:10 No.13920887
    Ah the Brown Recluse. The only spider that I'm legitimately afraid of.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:13 No.13920904
    Necrosis is smalltime compared to neurotoxins. Those are pretty much exclusive to snakes, tho.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:13 No.13920909
         File1297847631.jpg-(121 KB, 715x800, drow.jpg)
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    Pray for Lolth's forgiveness.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:14 No.13920912
    Petrol is with the flamethrower. Matches are found under the first spider.


    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:15 No.13920920

    then blast them with piss
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:18 No.13920939
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:21 No.13920968

    then i am a spider. feast upon the weaker ones and trick the stronger ones to fight each other
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:22 No.13920977
         File1297848168.jpg-(81 KB, 360x264, holy-shit-get-this-fucking-spi(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:27 No.13921001
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    Abandon all hope all ye who enter Spiderwoods.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:28 No.13921008

    we're going to need more fire...
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:29 No.13921011
         File1297848540.jpg-(55 KB, 444x319, NTS.jpg)
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    Don't mind me, I'm just making this thread /tg/ related.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:30 No.13921014
         File1297848617.jpg-(49 KB, 600x503, user20959_pic37346_1270300595.jpg)
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    Spiders are now fireproof. Now what?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:31 No.13921022

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:33 No.13921030
    The fuck? What is that from?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:35 No.13921044
         File1297848952.jpg-(35 KB, 316x320, Creepy_Spider_Swarm.ashx.jpg)
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    I google most of the pics here. I really don't know.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:37 No.13921052
    Time for some greentext from an Englishman in Australia:

    >Wake up
    >walk out bedroom door, get breakfast
    >Walk back to bedroom, look up
    >Big ass Huntsman
    >Well, fuck
    >Get the stand-by giant Slurpee cup
    >Get on a box, reach up to it.
    >It's staring at me, whilst picking at it's fangs
    >Natural 1
    >Reduced to a gibbering idiot for 5 minutes

    Goddamnit Huntsbro, I know you aren't dangerous at all but STOP FUCKING STARING AT ME.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:38 No.13921054
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:39 No.13921062
         File1297849193.jpg-(14 KB, 320x250, brazilianwonderingspider.jpg)
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    Looks like people go bananas when they see a spider...
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:40 No.13921064
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:41 No.13921068
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:42 No.13921071
    >>13921054 here


    And another:
    >Spray-primering some Brets outside, using a board thing so the patio doesn't get covered.
    >Finish, flip the thing over to hide the ungodly blackness
    >Motherfucking Redback chilling there
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:42 No.13921072
    Guys? Just get a cat. Seriously, I am not a fan of spiders myself. I'm not typically reduced to a simpering little pussball when one shows up, but they definitely creep me the fuck out. My cat? She solves that for me. Spider somewhere? No, no there's not, because she already goddamn ate it.

    This advice does not apply to people in Australia. Your country is the fucking devil.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:44 No.13921079
         File1297849444.jpg-(23 KB, 300x300, 51FObXGqKBL._SL500_AA300_.jpg)
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    >This advice does not apply to people in Australia. Your country is the fucking devil.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:47 No.13921086
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:48 No.13921088

    yeah. it kinda sucks when even your cat is scared of the bastard things
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:48 No.13921089
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:48 No.13921092
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:49 No.13921098
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:50 No.13921101
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    It is dangerous to go out alone! Here, take this!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:51 No.13921105
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:51 No.13921106
         File1297849913.jpg-(163 KB, 800x1531, 1285379566230.jpg)
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    Such is life in the Underdark.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:52 No.13921109
         File1297849947.jpg-(121 KB, 600x600, 600px-Wolf_spider_with_young_i(...).jpg)
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    Special delivery!
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/16/11(Wed)04:53 No.13921121

    It's a fucking Redback. They're barely even lethal and too small to pierce boots or gloves. They've got shitty reaction times so even if you do grab one by accident if you pull out fast you probably won't be bit. I end up with one of them after me at least two or three times a day, and not once have I ever been in any real danger.

    The only spider that's actually dangerous tgo people who aren't going to stick their fingers in tiny holes without being ready to pull them back out is the funnelweb.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:54 No.13921124
    That sucks man. I have never even heard of a cat that was afraid of spiders. I took mine in off the streets, so she is a genuine bad-ass. Pretty sure she would go toe to toe with the bigboys in the outback, so to speak. Seen as your cat is failing you in an anti-spider function, perhaps you could train a group of flies. An anti-spider fighting force, hell bent on revenge. Yes...
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:54 No.13921133
    That web was made by silkworms.

    Honestly, as long as you're not a fucking moron in Australia you won't get bitten by Spiders.

    Hell, for about a month I had an awesome huge spider with a fucking enormous web within a foot of my front door. I had to only partially open the front door since I didn't want to fuck up his web. Then he drowned (no, I'm not in flood affected areas).

    I was sad.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:57 No.13921140
    Hey guys. Got one of those Golden Orb Weavers out on my front porch. I think hes eaten like five other spiders. And it has 3 babbys that keep jumping on it. Then it spazzes out until the get off, where it goes back to patiently waiting.
    It's only a bout the size of my fist.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:57 No.13921141
         File1297850276.png-(87 KB, 600x2000, Spider_Bro_Comic.png)
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    ITT bedwetters. Why're you all afraid of our spiderbros?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:58 No.13921142
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:58 No.13921146
         File1297850319.jpg-(54 KB, 800x618, 0654323467890.jpg)
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    I have a cat, little fucker shits himself everytime.

    When he calms down he just plays with it, until it leaves or I squash it infront of him trying to get the message across.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:59 No.13921148
    That sounds pretty cool. Looks like you have some free entertainment. Live it up. Kill it if you ever find it in your bedroom though. Give them an inch and they'll fuck your whole life up.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:59 No.13921149

    my cat got bit by a whitetail when she was a kitten and reacted badly. necrosis and everything. since then, she won't go anywhere near spiders of any kind
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)04:59 No.13921151
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/16/11(Wed)04:59 No.13921155

    Sure you can, you just need to be in the right line of work. When I was reading electric meters I'd get bitten by spiders two or three times a week. I got so used to it that I just stopped panicking entirely and autimatically went to catch it in my hat then check what type it was.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:00 No.13921162
    Problem is; Orb Weavers are fucking engineers. Indestructible webs of man-catching.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:02 No.13921169
    As much as I hate spiders, I am oddly aroused by this photo. I think I want to experience that texture... I... I have to go now.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:04 No.13921182
    That is massively depressing. Glad she made it. Calling it a whitetail leads me to believe you might be in Australia. How do cats even exist down there? If you bring them in from other places, you should feel bad. The mice there could probably eat them, your country is so fucking full of death.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:05 No.13921188
    Actually, cats are immune to funnel-web venom. So that's the most dangerous spider in the world right there.

    Your cat will gobble that fucker right down.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/16/11(Wed)05:07 No.13921202

    The St. Andrews Cross ones are more fun, because they're perfectly happy to work together and build integrated webs. Every second house in Australia has a clusterweb of like six or seven of them, getting along fine.

    But the best onbe of them I ever saw was out the back of this one house in a pisshole slum suburb. There was this run-down old house with spiders everywhere, and all kinds of webs. I got through to nearly there with stick and a lot of swinging, but just before the meter there was ths unholy colossal mass of web. It was about three meters tall, four meters wide, and I couldn't even see how deep, and occupied the entire gap between the side of the house and the fence. I don't know how deep it was because I physically couldn't see through it. I tried to make my way through it, but there was just so muc hmass to it that mky stick just bounced off until it got tangled, and when I tore it out I could see two fucking half-skeletonised dead cockatoos stuck in it, and I was barely half a meter in. That's when I gave it up.

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:08 No.13921211

    yeah, i'm from Australia. Cats exist quite well here. when they go feral they mutate into furry, clawed death machines that will rape your shit
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:09 No.13921224
    This man speaks truth. It's like cats go native around here, they hunt down and kill a shitton of the NICE wildlife.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:11 No.13921232
    Ausfag here.

    It's really a lot less dangerous than you make it out to be. Huntsman spiders in particular. They might look big, but they're pretty much harmless, and they eat all the insects around the house for you. Redbacks are pretty mild too (seriously, hospitals have the right shit to treat it, so just call one up if you're bitten and you should be fine).

    Orb Weavers actually live in my driveway. Bust up their webs every morning with the car, and they're rebuilt by the afternoon. It's a never-ending game, but fuck if the webs aren't sticky when they get in your hair. Even saw them re-spinning during an all-day-long rain shower, like some little terminators.

    Also, never been bitten by a funnelweb, but there IS a brown snake living somewhere around my house. Not sure what happened to it, though, since I haven't seen it (or any skin that it might have shed) for a few weeks now. Maybe it moved on.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:14 No.13921255
    Cats vs. Spiders:

    Cats, nature's cruel creatures of spider population control. Man's true best friend.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:16 No.13921270
    I was feeling kinda sad and lonely...

    but after this thread, I now am very aware of my walls and floor.

    Also have my three hole punch and 4th ed PHB in my hands to crush the 1st thing crawling at me.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:16 No.13921272
    >Maybe it moved on.

    Maybe it's under your bed.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:16 No.13921273
    Feh. My cat spends about 18 hours of the day just lazing around. It's nearly as bad as a koala.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:17 No.13921277
    > cats are immune to funnel-web venom.

    sorry but that sounds very wrong to my ears, given how biologically similar cats are too humans.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:17 No.13921285
    People forget that cats are one of the most dangerous predators on the planet.

    The only reason your cat does not brutally murder you and eat your corpse is that you are 1: too big, and 2: we've bred them for thousands of years so they are only marginally less apt to murder us in our sleep.

    Feral cats are TERRIFYING if you fuck with them. I would not be surprised to find the common domesticated housecat ruling much of the outback with an iron paw.

    The only difference between a tiger and your cat is size. Make it bigger, and your cat would murder you in a heartbeat.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:18 No.13921287
    Bro, you need a better cat, or you need something for your cat to do so it doesn't get fat and lazy.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:19 No.13921296
    They run (slither?) away from loud noise, and my speakers can get pretty loud.

    And if not, well, it hasn't hurt me yet, so whatever.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:20 No.13921299
    It's true. Funnel-web venom is mostly just dangerous to humans and other primates. Almost everything else is immune.


    >It is interesting to know that the venom of the Sydney Funnel-web Spider is particularly effective in humans. It doesn't affect other mammals, for example cats or dogs, anywhere near as much...

    Look it up. Many places say the same thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:20 No.13921301
    >>hasn't heard Koala's fighting.

    Shit's terrifying to hear while you're trying to sleep. It's like two wild boars are ripping into each other, complete with inhuman squeels.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:21 No.13921308
    Every time I find myself thinking I could take a tiger I remember that fucking back legs claw thing cats do and reluctantly admit that I would probably die.

    >endotoxin applyn
    You've got the right idea captcha! If I apply endotoxin...
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:22 No.13921319

    Mine is similar. Except it spends eighteen hours sleeping, one asking for food, and the other five terrorizing the neighbourhood. It's territory is something like at least three or four blocks, and it is the uncontested master of all it surveys. Birds, other cats, even possums and some dogs. Nobody fucks with it.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:22 No.13921322
    huh, so it is.
    talk about bad luck for us then.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:22 No.13921323
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:23 No.13921331
    Heard it when I was out camping a few times. Downright murderous.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:24 No.13921339
    The thing about cats and tigers is that they tend to ambush their prey, including humans.

    I live in Idaho. Every year, cougars maul someone. They live up on the rocks and in the hills, and someone is just minding their own business, potato farming, lumberjacking or generally being manly, when all the sudden - BAM! Face full of fucking Cougar.

    People die.

    Tigers are like that, but bigger, and they like to attack from the water.

    Yeah, that's right - the water. They swim in rivers and lakes, and pop out and grab fishermen. I do not make this shit up.

    If your housecat were bigger, "mittens" would jump on your face in the dead of night and rip out your throat before you knew what was happening.

    Anyone that's suffered a sudden housecat ambush attack will know exactly what I mean.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:25 No.13921342
    Hah, my mother worked at a zoo in tiger cages for a bit when she was younger. She said you always - ALWAYS - had to keep your eyes on the tigers, but you had to do it without looking them square in the eye. If you ever turned your back on them, you were gonna get swatted off your feet - if you were lucky.

    And yes, the tigers would randomly swat their cleaners/feeders off their feet just to remind them who was in charge inside those cages. No other reason.
    >> Iron Lung 02/16/11(Wed)05:26 No.13921354
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    Apparently socialization is important.
    Cheetahs are incredibly socially adaptable, and were frequently given as extravagant gifts to kings.
    They'd be much more prevalent if it wasn't for them being damnably inconvenient to breed.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:28 No.13921367
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    This man speaks the truth.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:32 No.13921385
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/16/11(Wed)05:34 No.13921403

    Well, everything is probably more dangerous than peopel think. Peopel forget that things in zoos are wild animals who have never once done anything but fight like fuck to survive. It took tens of thousands of years for humans to train dogs to do what they're told and not maul us. An animal's safeness is not proportionate at all to its cuteness. There is a reason that every single reputable animal-based establishment in NSW has a blanket ban on anyone but the keepers carrying koalas. They don't even break the rule for celebrities, like so many others are. My unit's SSM was a keeper at Taronga Zoo the year someone got their shit wrecked for trying to hug a koala who did not find it as amusing as they did.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:34 No.13921405
    A description of how cougar attacks go.


    This is how an expert ended up after trying to hunt a fucking Mountain Lion (Cougar):

    24 January. Clarence Hall, a hunter working for the Canadian government to kill problem wildlife, was attacked by the cougar he was about to hunt. The cougar had attacked a dog at the home of Cecelia and Barry Mack on the Nuxalk Indian Reserve in British Columbia the previous night. While Clarence was waiting for the rest of his hunting party, without his rifle, he was checking out tracks on the nearby Tatsquan Creek. (He left his rifle in his car since he wasn't tracking and because he was in town.)

    Clarence noticed the cougar under a tree only 40' away, and tried to get back to his car. Due perhaps to his retreating action, the cougar attacked him on his neck, which felt like "being struck with a baseball bat." The cougar threw him to his back, bit again and shook him. Clarence shouted for help, then placed his hand over the cougar's lower jaw, with his thumb, forefinger and index finger behind its bottom canine teeth, which released its grip on his neck. He described:

    Immediately, I envisioned the cougar ripping my belly open with its front claws. With my right hand, I pulled the cougar's head, neck and shoulder over my chest, rendering the front claws useless as I pinned the cougar's claws to my chest. I then instantly threw my left arm around the cougar's neck and shoulder.

    Barry Mack then shot the cougar four times from only a foot away. When the cougar went limp, Clarence removed the cougar's teeth from Clarence's skull.

    Clarence received over 100 stitches, and nearly lost his right hand, which fortunately has responded to therapy, leaving only some impairment.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/16/11(Wed)05:35 No.13921411
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    So... if attacked by wild animals, hug them into submission?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:41 No.13921461
    Nope. He was out away from his car, and saw a cougar stalking him. He tried to retreat to it, and before he could take a couple steps the cougar had gone 40 FEET and tackled him.

    He managed to grab it just right to keep it from biting his face off, then shoot it to death with a pistol. He still almost lost one hand and had to get major stitches.

    Best thing about cougars? They prefer children. Most kids they attack die.

    January. Scott Lancaster, 18, was killed while jogging just a few hundred yards from his high school in Idaho Springs, Colorado. The lion dragged the 130 pound boy 200 yards uphill before killing him, evidenced by the uprooted vegetation along the way. The lion was found feeding on his body three days later. This is the first death ever in Colorado from a lion attack. (MLCSP; Denver Post 5/1/98, B-01; SWCOA)

    That's a healthy adult. And Cougars specifically target kids most of the time.

    They leap out of nowhere and drag you into the bushes, already dead.

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:42 No.13921468

    apparently, but i wouldn't want to try hugging a full grown salt water crocodile when it's hell bent on eating me
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 02/16/11(Wed)05:47 No.13921501

    Well, yeah, but that one's true. Lash its mouth shut and you only have to worry about the claws and the sheer weight of the bastard. That requires that you see it comign in time to get your rope out, though. Salties will just kill you if you don't, they're fantastically designed killing machines. I remember when I was up in the Northern Territory at an aunt's property, we wanted to go for a swim, and they said 'right, well, it'll be a three hour drive'. I asked about all the lakes an rivers and billabings and such nearby, and they just said if you swim in them you'll probably get taken. This family had owned and lost seventeen dogs, and all but one was taken by crocodiles in the creek out the back. They also talked about the one creek in the area that was legendary, because every person who they knew to have ever tried to swim in it had been dismembered or killed. Of course, with stories like that, there wasn't exactly a rush of swimmers.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:49 No.13921514

    god i love being an Aussie. everything here can kill us and yet all we seem to worry about is running out of beer and the cricket scores
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:50 No.13921518

    I kind of like the first one. Left a pub because he was too drunk, rode a saltwater crocodile, then went back - still bleeding and with chunks of him missing - for another beer afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:51 No.13921524
    Don't knock the beer and cricket scores. They're not something you fucking joke around about.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:53 No.13921536
    Oh boy do I have a story that will make me look like an idiot.
    In my family I'm the only one who's willing to take on the variety of insects that try get into our house.
    My brother and mother? Afraid of moths.
    My father? Working.
    So I'm usually left to squish/spray/capture the bugs that come in.
    I've killed white tails before without fear but the following happened one day.
    I was vacuuming the house and I hear a cricket. The sound came from underneath a foot stool.
    So I pick it up and naturally there's a cricket there.
    So I get a tissue to catch it in and begin to pick it up.
    When suddenly, I feel it crawling up my arm.
    Roll against fear, Natural 1 despite my bonuses.
    Then I screamed like a sissy, before managing to squish it on my arm.
    Apparently I screamed loudly enough to alert everyone in the house.
    It was pretty embarrassing to explain it to the people who came running.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:55 No.13921546
    I live somewhere that the damn weather can kill us on a regular basis. My only concern is running out of booze. I think it has become the human condition. Good show, Aussie bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:55 No.13921547

    That is the thing you always see with the animal attacks against children. The parents weren't watching. What do predators always do? Separate the weakest from the group. It is like these parents are trying to serve the child to the predators.

    Then some animals seem to be hardwired to attack anything running from it.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:57 No.13921559

    i wasn't knocking them. i was being serious. i'm more worried about running out of beer than i am about getting eaten alive by any number of feral shit we have running around the outback
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:58 No.13921564
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    Shit dude, the things can scare you with good reason if you're in the right place.

    I went to Iraq. The locusts there come in swarms and bite the fuck out of you. And it HURTS. Looks just like grasshoppers too, but sound like crickets.

    Of course, locusts are the last thing most people who go there mention. There's the scorpions and of course, this infamous fellow.

    Oddly enough, they're not really dangerous at all. Just scary as fuck, and they bite like bitey mcbitebite.

    That, and they're fast as you on a bike and the size of your hand.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)05:59 No.13921569

    Everything is hardwired to attack things that run from it. Think about, say, bar fights. Put two people who are going to stand up against each other. Chances are there wont be a fight. Put someone who will stand up against someone who will run. A punch or two might be thrown. Its just the way it works.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:00 No.13921577
    To the contrary. Cougars are brazen as fuck.

    >??. A woman was killed defending her 6-year-old son from a lion in British Columbia. The woman and three children were horseback riding when a male 65-pound lion jumped from a bush at the boy, knocking him off his horse. The mother came to his aid, and was killed. (GORP Lion Info)

    Riding on a fucking horse. SUDDENLY RANDOM COUGAR FROM BUSH.

    She was RIGHT THERE. She tried to defend him. So what did the cougar do? Killed the fuck out of her.

    You don't fuck with cougars.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:01 No.13921581

    what in the name of sweet merciful christ is that thing?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:04 No.13921601
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    No love for Cassowaries, the bird that forgot it isn't a dinosaur?
    >> Alpharius 02/16/11(Wed)06:04 No.13921603
    Camel Spider bro.

    You new to the Internets or something?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:05 No.13921606
    Australia DOES feature many of the world's nastiest critters but the vast majority are a long way from cities. Even in country towns you'll only get a few spiders mostly.

    The closest most Aussies get to these terrifying creatures is at the zoo.

    EXCEPT if you live on a farm or in the outback. The earliest memory I have is of a snake in the fucking wall of the toilet. Two years old, spot a thick, green tube sliding through the holes in the plaster. Paddocks (fields) were full of brown snakes. Dude who lives there now was bitten by one a few years ago.


    There was a dam a hundred metres behind the house with pythons thick as a strong man's arm. Sometimes the bastards would just sunbake on the front step of the house. When my Dad found a family of snakes living in the laundry (~20 little ones) that was the last straw, we finally moved- ten minutes down the road.

    Spiders are small time.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:05 No.13921612
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    Yep. The Camel Spider.

    Many myths, many legends. Actually a largely harmless carrion and scorpion eater with no venom and a tendency to avoid people. Still scary as fuck.

    I'll see if I can dig up some of the myths, because they're pretty entertaining, and I've always felt that if they were true the Camel Spider (giant, of course) would be an awesome D&D encounter.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:07 No.13921617

    no, just never seen one that close before. didn't recognise it straight up.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:07 No.13921624

    I'm not saying they aren't, just that setting up an ideal situation for them isn't a good idea. It is hard to prove a negative like, "X number of cougar attacks were prevented because the parents were nearby."
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:09 No.13921633

    * Camel spiders can grow to be as large as dinner plates.

    * Camel spiders can traverse desert sand at speeds up to 25 MPH, making screaming noises as they run.

    * Camel spiders can jump several feet in the air.

    * Camel spiders eat the stomachs of camels and lay their eggs there, hence the name "camel spider." (Legend includes the detail that camel spiders eat camel stomachs from either the outside in or the inside out. In the former case they supposedly jump up from the ground and grab onto camels' bellies from underneath; in the latter case exactly how spiders allegedly as large as dinner plates get into camels' stomachs intact remains unexplained.)

    * Camel spiders are venomous, and their venom contains a powerful anesthetic that numbs their victims (thus allowing them to gnaw away at living, immobilized animals without being noticed). U.S. soldiers were said to have been attacked by camel spiders at night but remained completely unaware of their plight until they awakened in the morning to find chunks of their flesh missing.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:09 No.13921635

    Clever girl.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:10 No.13921641
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    Weren't those an urban legend? Or, at least, non-poisonous or summat like that?

    Inquiring bros want to know.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:12 No.13921653
    Those are urban legends. They are still very large and very fast. But they have no poison or venom of any kind. They prefer carrion, however, and their bites (and they DO bite) tend to get infected. They also hurt like fuck.

    They aren't lethal, they're just scary as fuck.

    Fun fact: they're also half-scorpion, half-spider.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:12 No.13921655
    Uncle owns a farm, and has trouble with snakes too. Last time I was there, he had to go and kill a couple that were lairing in the shed where the tractors and suchlike are kept. Just went down with a .22 and shot it straight through the brain.

    There was also the time when we wound up accidentally blowing at least one snake something like fifty feet through the air with explosives.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:16 No.13921669
    Here's a complete list of Myths and true facts:

    Camel spiders myths

    As many people so many thoughts, may be that's why people sometimes imagine so unreal situations and as a result they create so many unbelievable myths.

    So, the first one:
    "In the deserts of the Near East, there are "camel spiders" that anaesthetize sleeping humans and eat large chunks of their flesh."

    This legend is widespread in Arab countries but also was unknown in North America until it was disseminated by Gulf War veterans and repeated by the uninformed narrator of a TV documentary. Since this section was originally written, a much more extensive body of "camel spider" legends has arisen from the Iraq war.

    A number of soldiers have written claiming this legend is really true. But no one has been able to supply the name, rank and serial number of any victim - or even just a name! It always happened to "a friend," the friend never has a name, and no matter how far down the line you follow the story, that elusive named person is always at least one "friend" away. That's how urban legends work.

    Also rather popular myth with people:
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:16 No.13921670
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    Im sooo fucking happy that these kind of creatures doesn't exists up here.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:16 No.13921675
    "Camel spiders" in Iraq are a foot long, lay eggs under camels' skin, and run 25 miles per hour screaming like a banshee.

    Of course they are fast, but not that fast. The maximum speed which was cited in scientific sources is ten miles per hour. They are not known for jumping ability. The species in Iraq were studied in Iraq by British scientists during the 39 years (1919-58) the country was under British control. Their anatomy and physiology are well known. They positively have no venom, and no way to inject it even if they did have it. They lay their eggs in the soil, not in camels! They are predatory and do not feed off large animals like camels or humans. When they run toward someone standing in the hot desert sun they are just seeking for a shade to hide in. Some species can produce a barely audible stridulation (sounding like a buzz or hiss).

    One more:
    "Spiders can lay their eggs under human skin in wounds created by their bites."

    In a surprisingly widespread urban legend, a nameless woman is bitten by a spider (usually on her cheek) while on vacation. She later develops a swelling from which baby spiders emerge Somehow or other, the venom must have transformed into eggs. You should remember that spiders do not find the human body a suitable site for egglaying, and no actual case anything like this can be found anywhere in scientific or medical literature.

    And may be the most favorite one:
    "Camel spiders can be as large as a frisbee."

    The size of a camel spider is nearly up to 6 inches although there're a lot of people report much larger.
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !!bH2qINdL4Y2 02/16/11(Wed)06:16 No.13921677
    Speaking of snakes, if you see one out in the bush DO NOT FUCK WITH IT. I was on a geology excursion out to wellington mapping outcrops. Last day, I was eating lunch at the bottom of a hill. I hear a "SNAKE! GET THE FUCK OUT" from up the hill and look - someone had found a king brown and decided to scare it off by chucking rocks near it. The guy misses and HITS A SECOND KING BROWN THAT'S NOW ABOUT TO TEAR ASS. I'm sure the only reason any of them got out without being bitten is that they were on top of an outcrop with a ledge, and they got the fuck over the edge as soon as they saw the second snake.

    Snakes make australians run. Do not fuck with snakes. They will fuck you up. It was at least 30 minutes drive to the next town - by the time the flying doctor would have gotten there you'd be pretty dead.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:17 No.13921681
    What about moose? The vampiric stalkers of the night.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:17 No.13921682
    "Camel spiders venom is an anesthetic that numbs their prey"

    It's really important to remember that spiders don't have venom at all, so they're not dangerous for people. It's obviously that they can bite but only in case of self defense. Despite their fearsome appearance and their strong bite, solifugids are unlikely to harm humans. In the past they were considered venomous and extremely dangerous but it is now thought that the only risk of injury resulting from them is caused by shock or infection following a bite.

    So, now you may see that all these myths don't have any factual background and they shouldn't be believed in.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:18 No.13921688
    Nah man you don't run because you might startle them, you just back the fuck down and slowly walk off
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !!bH2qINdL4Y2 02/16/11(Wed)06:21 No.13921702
    This I know, they did not. The pissed off snake was another factor too. Like I said, I'm suprised no-one got bitten.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:21 No.13921704
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    Cars are anti-moose
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:21 No.13921705
    A video of a deadly Camel Spider massacre in Afghanistan:

    >> Einar 02/16/11(Wed)06:22 No.13921709
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    dis da biggest mun, 8cm diameter
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:23 No.13921711
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    poor moose
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:24 No.13921719

    These stories make me wonder if yall wish you had rattlers instead?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:24 No.13921720
    Idahoan here. We haven't got as many deadly snakes as you, but we've still got our Diamondback Rattlers. I know just how you feel.

    And after spending time in Iraq, I can vouch for the fact that Iraq is not much below Australia in the "scary as shit local creatures" department.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:25 No.13921729
    Rattlers aren't all that nice either, man. The Diamondback is still pretty damn deadly, and they don't ALWAYS rattle at you before they strike. Often, they'll rattle and then strike, which is just scarier.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:27 No.13921741
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    >When they run toward someone standing in the >hot desert sun they are just seeking for a shade >to hide in. Some species can produce a barely >audible stridulation (sounding like a buzz or >hiss).

    Oh god this is just CAMEL SPIDER PROPAGANDA.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:28 No.13921747
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    When life gives you spiders, make spiderade.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:31 No.13921762

    I'm not saying they are nice, just you at least have a chance of a warning.

    Although there are some that claim the Rattlesnake Round-Ups aren't helping matters are the once that will rattle at anything are the first to get caught. While the ones reluctant to rattle get away.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:36 No.13921793
    No doubt. Aussies DO have it harder in a lot of ways.

    Still, Idaho isn't exactly kiddy-grade either. We've got black widows and brown recluse spiders, rattlesnakes, cougars, bears, wolves, and a ton of other things that want to kill you and wear your skin as a hat. We call them Montanans.

    Most Idahoans survive our inherent dangers by sacrificing Californian immigrants to the Moon Gods of the land.

    Nobody misses Californians. It's the best scheme ever.
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !!bH2qINdL4Y2 02/16/11(Wed)06:36 No.13921795
    just for reference, this is a King Brown:

    The reasons these fuckers are nasty is they have neurotoxins. And they have a shittone of it.

    >The average tiger snake produces around 10–40 mg when milked. By comparison, a good sized king brown snake may deliver 150mg in one bite.

    I'm not trying to get into a dickwaving contest but fuck, that's nasty. Do rattlers usually rattle or is it a 'just before I'm about to fuck you up' thing?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:41 No.13921809

    I have seen a few rattlers and they all rattled when they knew I was there.

    I think what happens when there isn't a rattle is they got startled. They might not you were there or depending on the temperature could be sluggish.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:42 No.13921814
    >you are now imagining picking up all those fried spiders after accidentally knocking the basket over
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !!bH2qINdL4Y2 02/16/11(Wed)06:46 No.13921829
    Ah okay. Yeah, the browns that group saw were on a rock outcrop, sunning themselves. I'm suprised we didn't find any more - we did come acros two red belly black snakes fucking, which was... interesting, to say the least.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:51 No.13921841
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    Depends. We've got three kinds of Rattlesnake.

    * Great Basin Rattlesnake - Crotalus oreganus lutosus
    * Northern Pacific Rattlesnake - Crotalus oreganus oreganus

    * Prairie Rattlesnake - Crotalus viridis viridis

    Note that these species have great internal variation, even among themselves.

    The scariest thing about them, IMO, is how extremely unpredictable they are. They all look very similar, some more aggressive than others, and one might be chill with you and not even rattle. Another might rattle but not come near you. Another might chase you across a mountain.

    They are also VERY common here, depending on the part of the state you live in.

    Some rattlers here are people shy, some are aggressive. It's hard to tell, but most of the aggressive ones bite you before you know they're there. The others scare the shit out of you, THEN bite you.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:52 No.13921848
    Oh yes: and no pissing contest here. If you're Australian, you automatically win. I'm just saying there's a lot of places where it isn't much better.

    At least you don't have Mountain Lions. Although if you did, they'd probably be poisonous.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:54 No.13921858
    And have an extendable mouth like in Alien
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !!bH2qINdL4Y2 02/16/11(Wed)06:54 No.13921860
    NA wins in the large animal department by far. The only real predators out in the bush are Dingos and feral pets. There's cassowaries way up north too, and they will kick your shit, but nowhere near as widespread as bear and wolves and coyotes and cougars and FUCK that's alot of angry teeth.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)06:58 No.13921877
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    We don't have any deadly things in scotland, except for wild haggises. They're small but in packs they can be very vicious.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:00 No.13921886

    Listening to my friends that live out in the country, they fear feral pigs and javelinas more.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:01 No.13921891
    Yeah. And we're surprisingly chill about it. You know why?

    If an animal kills someone, almost the entire state grabs a gun and shoots members of that species until we're pretty sure the one that killed that person is dead.

    Do you know WHY we have wolves? Because hippies reintroduced them. We were infested with maneating wolves at one point, and KILLED EVERY SINGLE ONE. Idahoans do not fuck around when it comes to killing dangerous animals.

    I'm pretty sure we kill about a hundred cougars every time a human is attacked, but for some reason they just keep doing it.

    Mind you, if Australia were ever settled by Idahoans, we'd probably use napalm on the whole continent and then live on the ashes. That's the kind of people we are.

    ... Not sure how we'd deal with the ocean. We're mountain people, not water people. Probably die in droves and waste a lot of depth charges, I guess.

    But I think you Australians and we Idahoans should get along. We both live in dangerous places and kick the shit out of the environment.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:03 No.13921910
    We have kangaroos (laugh as you will, but those hind legs can quite potentially split your sternum in two from the force, and that's if they don't just disembowel you) and dingoes (the rather cunning variety of wild dog). Do they count?

    Also, stonefish. They're insanely deadly, and sit in the sand underwater, looking like, well, a rock. Until you step on them and proceed to pretty much die horribly. Sometimes I wonder if they trollface when it happens, too.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:04 No.13921913
    Are you kidding due? Haggis are easy as hell to deal with! Primarily because their only defence mechanism (sans running) is to explode!

    It's means they're hard to catch true, but they're hardly a threat. Unless they stop being scared...
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:06 No.13921929
    Of course they count! People underestimate the Kangaroo.

    And anything in the water is an unnameable terror to most Idahoans, deadly or not. We're mountain people, as I've said. We've got a lot of lakes and streams, but they're all completely danger free. Which makes us extra paranoid in areas where there are dangers in the water.

    Trust me, we've got a lot in common.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:07 No.13921937
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    Stonefish are Natures Emoticon.
    You just know what Nature is feeling like.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:08 No.13921948
    Oh, and I guess I think of Dingoes alot like I think of a Coyote. I don't know if that comparison is apt, but I think they're similar in size. The Dingo is probably more aggressive too, but dog-type animals are never that big of a worry if you've got a gun.

    It's the big cats you've got to look out for. And the snakes. They like to ambush you.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:09 No.13921954
    That would be great, except for the fact that they have concentrated acid for blood.

    Luckily though they only come out at night. Many nights I lay in bed kept awake by the deep, dark braying of an alpha haggis.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:14 No.13921999
    Oh wait. Aussies don't have guns, right?

    Then yeah, dingoes ought to be pretty scary. Walking around without a gun in Idaho is like hanging a "free lunch" sign around your neck, though.

    We don't keep guns to prevent crime, but instead random cougar/bear/snake/attacks.

    There's plenty more if you like to go mountain climbing, of course, but most people will never be rammed off a cliff by a mountain goat.

    But they're there. In the Rockies. Just waiting for the right opportunity. They play king of the hill, and they play to win.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:18 No.13922020
    Dingoes aren't really 'that' agressive, they're scavengers.

    And they can be 'semi' domesticated.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:20 No.13922031
    Yeah, so just like Coyotes then.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)07:22 No.13922043
    Dingos are more of a puppy them most wild dogs.
    Dingos are pretty sedate creatures really.

    Just don't leave babies out for them.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)08:11 No.13922315
    We have some guns, out on farms. They're quite difficult to get, though, and generally have to be a rifle as well as the owner needing a specific reason for why they need one (even if they live on a farm).

    Of course, it's pretty easy to silence a .22 if you know what you're doing. And explosives are in some ways easier to get than a rifle.

    Dingoes are mostly dangerous when they're in a pack. They're very intelligent, and know all about separating you from a group if you're in one, or getting you alone, circling you and taking you down.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)08:33 No.13922422
    So again, much like Coyotes.

    Compared to most of the stuff out here, we think of them as mostly harmless. They're like wolves in a way (which again, we wiped out once already) but not as aggressive or big, which is the biggest (haha) issue.

    Their size means that when they attack people, they rarely kill them.

    It seems, looking it up, that the Dingo isn't much different in terms of aggressiveness or deadliness.

    So congrats. You all got off easy in at least one respect - you don't have aggressive large predators that like to eat people.

    Of course you can still do worse than Australia or Idaho.

    That place is called snake island.


    One snake per square meter. I believe I've heard of another island that had a ratio of four per square meter. Most deadly.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)08:37 No.13922442
    A more entertaining article about Snake Island:


    More terrifying than Australia.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:56 No.13922862
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:40 No.13923185

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:41 No.13923196
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:44 No.13923226
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:49 No.13923266
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    This thread makes me wonder how many Australians there are on /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:50 No.13923278
    Both of them plus their venomous hordes.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:51 No.13923286
    Used to be a wolf spider living in my apartment; my next door neighbors were filthy fuckers and had a cockroach problem. I never saw one, but I did have a very fat wolf spider. The apartment association called in an exterminator, and I prevented him from coming into my apartment, claiming that I didn't want poison in the place due to my cat. I tracked down and caught the wolf spider later that day and moved him outside to the creek area behind my apartment, so he wouldn't eat the poisoned cockroaches.

    I miss that spider, he lived here for more then a year.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:51 No.13923289
    ITT: Spiders trolling spiders.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:58 No.13923352
    >I live in Idaho.
    I thought I was the only Idahoan on 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:01 No.13923374

    Lucky for me the Canadian Gate isn't too bad for this stuff either.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:09 No.13923447
    Grew up in Homedale, live in Coeur 'd Alene.

    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:16 No.13923505
    >Mind you, if Australia were ever settled by Idahoans, we'd probably use napalm on the whole continent and then live on the ashes. That's the kind of people we are.

    That's what the aborigines did to kill the *really* nasty Australian animals off 10,000 years ago.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:21 No.13923528
    Grew up in Weiser, live in Caldwell.
    So you're a bit more rugged and manly than I am.

    Can you believe this weather right now though? It's winter motherfucker, why isn't it cold?

    Stupid high desert. Like, 2 weeks from now it's gunna be like LOL SNOW and then we'll get to watch the californian fuckwits try and drive on slick roads in their audis with no snow tires or chains.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:30 No.13923609
    Ha. If you say so. Homedale isn't THAT manly. Well, I guess the crash derby and rodeos are, but not really. Coeur 'd Alene isn't all that bad, though.

    But nah, the weather up here is totally different. It's cold as fuck still. We just got rid of the snow!

    Coeur 'd Alene is very beautiful, for about three months of the year. The rest of the year is snow and dead Californians who don't know how to drive.

    However, seeing you share hatred of Californians has indeed confirmed your true status as an Idahoan. The people of our state, in spite of our general politeness, only seem to truly bond over the corpses of Californian invaders.

    Anyhoo, the weather down there is never that cold. You don't even get snow a lot of years; or if you do it's very little.

    But then the whole area there is still technically desert, so that's what you get. Funny that's where we grow all of our crops.

    I like it, but after living up here for so many years it's too BRIGHT down there. So much light colored sand, I feel like I've gone blind just looking around every time I visit family. Everything here is dark green and dark brown and gray cloud. It's not Seattle dark, or anything, but it's just such a shock going back down there sometimes.

    Anyway, you can tell 'em how dangerous Idaho is. We've got a fuckload of dangerous stuff here. We need someone from SouthEastern Idaho to talk about the thirty below weather there.

    Desert where you are; Ice Kingdom in the southeast, dangerous animals and snow on steep cliffs here.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:36 No.13923643
    >You don't even get snow a lot of years; or if you do it's very little.
    Technically we always get something that can be called snow. Last year and the year before was hilarious, I didn't even drive I just walked everywhere, and I got to watch so many car crashes.

    The only dangerous animal story I have is back when I was in 7th grade I went on a hike out by the McCall area with my school. It was a private christian school, so rather than Shepard all the kids into one big group, they just showed us the route and the fit kids went the fastest. I was in the slowest group, with 2 teachers who were just as slow as I was. Down by a lake we saw bear tracks, but nobody was really concerned, until about an hour later, we straight watched a black bear walk by us, not 50 yards away.
    He looked at us too, like "be cool, and I will too."

    The next year on that hike all the kids were herded into one big group.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:44 No.13923691
    Haha, fucking bears. They're so chill down there most of the time, too.

    What was it though, McCall, just a few years ago, that had some kid eaten by a Cougar?

    But yeah. I've run into a lot more wildlife than most people, but I grew up poor in the middle of nowhere, and that translated into a burning need to see all of the nowhere there was to see. You run into snakes mountain climbing, I'll tell you. And scorpions, and everything else.

    Of course, I started out on a farm, and you get plenty of that stuff there too. Seems wherever you get animals and crops something deadly wants to wander in and say "sup, just thought I'd stop in for a bite".

    But in the cities, you don't get that stuff much. Most people on this board wouldn't call Caldwell a City, but for me it was the place we took half an hour to drive to so we could go shopping at Kings (the SUPER HUGE MEGA LARGE STORE that I now realize is very small compared to stores in other cities) and the place where a ton of people lived. There were rumors that there were actual gangs there, like in those mythical giant cities like New York or LA where all the bad people and complete douchebags came from.

    Downside to the cities there is the black widows, though. They're EVERYWHERE. Don't go into your fucking crawlspace, holy shit.

    How is Caldwell? Still dominated by that Simplot factory? Has the Mall on the Boulevard changed any since I was down last (about two years ago)?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)11:58 No.13923767
    Well other Idahoan, good luck and keep posting on /tg/. I've gotta go, but if this thread is alive when I come back in a few hours, I'll read your response.

    Good to see a fellow Idahoan online. Good luck to you, man.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)12:03 No.13923802
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)13:04 No.13924190
    Lets not let this thread die
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)13:20 No.13924325
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    Spiders suck! Blue Mud-Dauber was here
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)13:56 No.13924623
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)13:59 No.13924650
    I fear no evil, for I am fear incarnate!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:00 No.13924664
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:01 No.13924674
    Sweet jesus, this thread gives me nightmares.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:01 No.13924676
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:02 No.13924692
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:03 No.13924703
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:04 No.13924717
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:08 No.13924753
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:09 No.13924760
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:12 No.13924790
    Red back? isn't that a black widow?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:12 No.13924791
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:14 No.13924800
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    awww spider thread!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:14 No.13924801
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    >That web was made by silkworms.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:16 No.13924814
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    Oh sweet Emperor there's so many of the damn things...
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:16 No.13924818
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:17 No.13924825
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:19 No.13924838
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:20 No.13924845
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    Right here. Ready to smite.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:20 No.13924847
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:20 No.13924852
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:21 No.13924865
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:23 No.13924872
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:23 No.13924874
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:25 No.13924887
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:26 No.13924894
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    Holy shit...
    >> Someone else. 02/16/11(Wed)14:26 No.13924895
    It's a blue Lantern.
    >> Einar 02/16/11(Wed)14:27 No.13924903
    that should give an itchy throat.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:28 No.13924910
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:29 No.13924924
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    And what hope does he inspire?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:29 No.13924925
    Sir, sir! The xenos are copying the Ultramarines, sir! What do we do?!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:33 No.13924950
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:36 No.13924976
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    This reminds me of when /b/ thought it should have a spider equivalent of Caturday, and called it Websday. Lasted about a week, I think. Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:41 No.13925019
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:45 No.13925053
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:47 No.13925062
    This is what happens when you accept Robute Giulliman as your spiritual liege.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:53 No.13925111
    ITT: quisling collaborators with the arthropod menace.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:54 No.13925118
    I keep a decent sized population of cellar spiders alive in my bathroom. They pretty much handle all the pest and ant control I need. If I find the little blighters sneaking in under my floor boards I just relocate one of the spiders there and they learn right quick not to fuck with us.

    Of course the spiders aren't the brightest things out there. Often getting themselves trapped in small puddles of water or shampoo. The most harrowing experience I've had with one was waking up in the middle of the night with a frantic and crunchy surprise in my mouth.
    >> Slaaneshi Whore Lord 02/16/11(Wed)14:55 No.13925127
    I would rather have spiders running around than be overrun with flies and other insects.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:56 No.13925139
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    Plus, if it weren't for them, we woudn't have bitchin' footwear like these,
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:58 No.13925149
    I like spiders, they are funny-looking and shifty-nifty. Spiders like my hair, it's long, messy and greasy.

    We both like to live in the underground part of my basement, because it's nice and dark and warm.

    Spiders are my best buds, men.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:00 No.13925162

    anything that comes as near to me as arms reach is dead. No exceptions, I'm very territorial. Meanwhile my cat actively hunt down anything that moves
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:00 No.13925169
    >my hair, it's long, messy and greasy.
    >live in the underground part of my basement
    >Spiders are my best buds
    Your only buds, from the sound of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:01 No.13925172
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    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:01 No.13925177
    Ah, there's also my cat, but she prefers my lap.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:02 No.13925186
    I want anything that isn't a mammal or delicious fish to piss off and leave me alone so I can get on with the business of not being surrounded by eldritch horrors.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:02 No.13925196
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    Bite it, crunch it, chew it.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:08 No.13925226
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    I don't hate spiders but if one like this come near to me I will fucking kill it.
    But still I want one. Behind glass, or in a metal box. So if I can throw it on other people I hate
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:19 No.13925315
    We talk about how it's so warm down here in this thread.

    Still shirt weather though.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:26 No.13925376
    >Still dominated by that Simplot factory?
    Not really. They're doing a lot of renovations down town, like where the pennywise and the KFC are. It's real pretty down there now, though it's still right across the train tracks from all those mexicans.

    >Has the Mall on the Boulevard changed any since I was down last (about two years ago)?
    It's slowly going out of business. They make a big show of being successful every holiday, but every couple months a different store fails. The Macy's even downsized by a lot, and the bookstore fell through.

    >There were rumors that there were actual gangs there, like in those mythical giant cities like New York or LA where all the bad people and complete douchebags came from.
    There are, technically anyway.
    It seems like every week in the newspaper some fucker's getting arrested and the paper claims he has gang ties.

    Fun story, I actually roomed with a new yorker for a while.
    He was a total douchebag. You never really realize this until you meet them, but people from bigger cities have NO RESPECT for personal space. At all. Like, he could be touching you with his massive gut and not even notice. And he could be right in your face, spewing spittle onto you, and think I was weird for backing off a foot or two.

    That and he was constantly whacked out on Oxycotton and Morphine, and constantly complained about the state.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:31 No.13925422
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    A Space Marine, fearful of the noble arachnid? BEFRIEND IT, YOU FOOL, AS MY DESERT FANGS ONCE DID
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:44 No.13925548
    Don't worry, /tg/! Swarms of spiders are vunerable to template weapons!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)16:16 No.13925848

    Oh and to boot they keep the really nasty stuff out. I get tons of black and brown widows out on my porch and patio during the summer. The last time I've so much as seen one inside my apartment was being munched on by a cellar spider in its own web.

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