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  • File : 1295871484.jpg-(109 KB, 600x402, Road.jpg)
    109 KB Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:18 No.13639254  
    The year is 2027. Society has collapsed, food is rare, clean water rarer. Violent gangs of survivors roam the wasteland looting and pillaging... Cannibalism is common amongst these lowly scavengers. All you have to survive this harsh, ash-covered wasteland are the tattered clothes on your back, a single can of spam and this:


    A single piece of pre-fall technology, still working. What is it, and is it of any actual use?

    >It's an ornately-engraved sphere that can speak French, never needs repairing and freezes anything it touches.
    I think I'm boned.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:19 No.13639257
    >It's an answering machine that rotates at high speed!

    some... some kind of weapon?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:20 No.13639259
    >It's like a normal baseball cap, but it shreds documents.

    Well, at least I got a bit more clothes on me...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:20 No.13639262
    >It's like a normal artificial limb, but it follows a target of your choice.

    I am now a cyborg flesh hunter
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:20 No.13639263
    >It's a briefcase! It traps mice in a humane fashion!

    Well, at least we're excited about it.

    Mouseburgers, anyone? They were captured humanely. That's got to be worth something.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:20 No.13639264
    >It's a candle that's biodegradable and sounds better than it looks.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:21 No.13639266
    >It's a TV remote control that's voice-activated! It is bigger on the inside than the outside and chirps and whistles.

    Uh... I think I got a TARDIS with still functioning cloaking device... I'm fucking set.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:21 No.13639268
    >It's a contraceptive device that's heavier than it looks! It costs less than a penny a day to run.

    Thank god for that.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:21 No.13639269
    >It's a walking stick! It does exactly what it says on the tin!

    Well atleast its something I'll need.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:21 No.13639270
    It's a deck of cards that weighs less than a packet of cigarettes!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:22 No.13639276
    >It's a computer mouse that emits dangerous radiation! It is better than the last one.

    My last computer was a dump site.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:23 No.13639277
    >It's a baseball cap! It is perfectly safe to use!

    I feel sorry for the other guy.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:23 No.13639278
    Design #1997987913
    It's a dog collar that's guaranteed to save you a hundred pounds a month! It loves you as a person and detects explosives.

    Well, that's positively useful. Explosive-detecting dogs' collar that's good company AND... somehow improves my bartering.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:23 No.13639279
    >It's a business card that catches fire very easily! It lasts for up to a week.

    This is actually useful... Once. Kinda.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:23 No.13639280
         File1295871811.gif-(1.17 MB, 260x146, 1292849795116.gif)
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    >It's a walking stick! It's a stick, for walking!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:23 No.13639282
    This is shaping up to be a very silly grim apocalypse.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:24 No.13639284

    >It's a handgun that self-replicates!

    Fuck yeah, time to take over the world
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:24 No.13639285
    >It's a headband that makes you invisible! It shoots laser beams and pings when it's ready.

    I like how my stealth device is occasionally interrupted by a loud noise and flash frying something.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:24 No.13639287
    >It's a mobile phone that's oak-panelled! It sends and receives faxes and follows you around.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:25 No.13639288
    >It's a briefcase that emits a powerful searchlight beam! It talks and is oak-panelled.

    My second attempt, this time something very awesome and useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:25 No.13639289
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    I'm lol'ing so hard right now.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:25 No.13639290
    What the fuck, man?

    All I got was a briefcase that catches mice.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:26 No.13639292
    >It's like a normal pair of trousers, but it's different every time you use it.

    how did I survive with this luck I wonder...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:26 No.13639296
    >It's a milk carton made from recycled cardboard.

    ... Sigh...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:27 No.13639299
         File1295872026.jpg-(187 KB, 556x375, 1290407814821.jpg)
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    >It's a CD player that has a mind of its own!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:27 No.13639300
    >It's a retinal implant that has been featured in Star Trek! It works at twice the normal speed and has a built-in alarm clock.

    Well.. kinda maybe..I dunno.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:27 No.13639304
    It's a candle that's better than the last one, knows your name and automatically avoids obstacles.

    How you like them apples, >>13639264 ?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:28 No.13639306
    >It's a rubber fish! It has no moving parts!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:29 No.13639308
    >It's a biro! It stays sharp forever!

    Fuckin' stab ya cunt!
    >> the princess 01/24/11(Mon)07:29 No.13639309
    It's a sock that's rustproof, cuts through stone as if it were butter and moulds to fit its user.

    combat sock
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:29 No.13639311
    >It's an electronic implant that contains a tinier version of itself! It keeps children amused and tastes delicious.

    Delicious gene-seed, I must harvest it from the children. They won't mind. They're all so perfectly happy.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:29 No.13639312
    >It's a human clone! It keeps drinks cold!

    Hooray, food storing food!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:29 No.13639315
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    >It's a screwdriver that tracks infra-red, operates on a quantum level and can be programmed to perform simple tasks.

    >> the princess 01/24/11(Mon)07:30 No.13639317

    maybe I can perform genocide cutter kicks like Rugal when not wearing shoes
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:30 No.13639319
    That *is* better than my candle. =/

    Luckily now I have this!
    >It's a biro that has a built-in alarm clock! It hovers three feet from the ground.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:31 No.13639322

    What part of >>13639315 did you not understand?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:31 No.13639325
    >It's a housebrick that displays pornography, is made of glass and always points to magnetic north.

    i could make due with this
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:31 No.13639326
    >Design #2914783587
    >It's a small plastic pyramid that's biodegradable, makes you invisible and has a built-in motion sensor.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:32 No.13639327
    >It's a handheld DVD player! It vibrates!

    Cool! Is there any DVDs around?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:32 No.13639328
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    >It's a contraceptive device that stretches to twice its original size! It can emulate a ZX Spectrum and works in the opposite way to that which you'd expect.

    >and works in the opposite way to that which you'd expect.

    Good news, everyone?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:32 No.13639329

    So we got what seems like a Tardis and what seems like a Sonic Screwdriver between us. Perhaps if we meet we combine and become the Doctor?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:32 No.13639330
    I think the infinitely self-replicating handgun trumps everything.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:33 No.13639336
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    >It's like a normal golf club, but it's covered with realistic fur.

    At least I can still beat people with it.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:33 No.13639337
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    I>t's a pair of shoes that can be bolted onto a credit card, cannot be moved and slices vegetables.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:33 No.13639338
    >It's a pager! It sends and receives text messages!

    Wow... Just... Wow
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:34 No.13639343
    you got the god damn sonic screwdriver?

    the fuck man
    >> one-eyed hermit 01/24/11(Mon)07:35 No.13639352
         File1295872557.jpg-(30 KB, 379x442, wait wat wtf.jpg)
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    It's a rubber fish that may have harmful side effects, disinfects work surfaces and sorts your mail.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639353
    >It's a briefcase that expands at the touch of a button, freezes anything it touches and shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger.

    Time to conquer the wasteland with a FRIDGE
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639355
    >It's a dog collar that works in the opposite way to that which you'd expect! It keeps your carpets clean.

    It kills the dog -> No dog poo on the carpet. Nice.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639356
    >It's a gas-mask! It contains alcohol!

    fights toxines and makes the wastes tolerable

    fuck yea
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639357
    >It's a hair gel that has adverts on the side! It fetches help in the event of an emergency.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639358
    Imagine how differently The Road might have gone if only they'd had this amazing device:

    >It's a sock that can be used by several people at once and is rustproof.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639362
    >It's a refrigerator that vibrates!

    Just what I wanted.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:36 No.13639363
    >It's like a normal deck of cards, but it looks like a pot-plant.

    Im going to find a hippie compound and trade it for all their supplies. By the time they realize the ruse, the cards will have been dealt and I've disappeared into smoke.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:37 No.13639365
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    >It's a pot plant that's ideal for the kitchen! It has a retro 70s design and changes colour to reflect your mood.

    I know I'm spending the post apocolypse, baked.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:37 No.13639369
    >It's a deck of cards! It is water-absorbent!

    That's actually useful if you have any means to get the water back.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:37 No.13639373
    >It's a CD-rom that's made entirely of wood! It is actually just a solid block of plastic and is built and maintained by tiny nano-robots.

    Are the nano-bots made of wood or plastic???
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:38 No.13639374
    A unicycle that plays the american national anthem and soothes babies!

    Well, Its a means of transpirtation I guess. Maybe I can join the Enclave.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:38 No.13639377
    >It's a false moustache that emits a powerful searchlight beam! It does exactly what it says on the tin.

    searchlight moustache?

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:38 No.13639380
    I think the real question is: What the fuck kind of society was this before the fall?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:38 No.13639382
    >It's a hair gel that can only be operated by a trained professional! It is voice-activated and is two inches tall.

    ...self-defense hair, splendid!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:38 No.13639384
    >It's a crematorium that squeaks!
    That's not very reverent or appropriate.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:38 No.13639385
    >It's a contraceptive device that stretches to twice its original size! It can emulate a ZX Spectrum and works in the opposite way to that which you'd expect.

    In post-apocalyptica, condom makes you pregnant.

    >captcha: ill loveman
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:39 No.13639393
    >It's a feather duster that can extinguish fires, is powered by a single hamster and can play chess.
    Now to get that hamster...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:40 No.13639399
    >It's a football that wears a waistcoat and tie and is biodegradable.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:41 No.13639400
    >It's like a normal mattress, but it flies like a rocket.

    fuck the world I'm going to mars
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:41 No.13639402
    >It's an aquarium! It shoots laser beams!

    Well, fuck all of your post-apocalyptic shit. I'm going places.
    >> Dantalaeon !!2TQS185pmIh 01/24/11(Mon)07:42 No.13639408
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    >It's a teddybear that speaks with the voice of James Earl Jones! It quacks like a duck and affixes to any flat surface.

    Screw survival, this is fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:43 No.13639411
    >It's a first-aid kit that dissolves in water! It makes amusing belching noises and is only visible under ultraviolet light.

    God damn it.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:43 No.13639412
    >It's a microwave that makes you invisible, tracks its position with GPS and increases your sex appeal.

    Fairly useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:43 No.13639414
    >It's a jetpack that smells of flowers! It does away with household drudgery and increases your sex appeal.

    Oh yeah.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:43 No.13639415
    It's a featureless cube that tells you when people are lying!
    This is actually extremely useful. Go me!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:43 No.13639416
    >It's like a normal riot shield, but it doesn't need batteries.

    Now I kind of wonder what the ones that do need batteries are like
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:44 No.13639420
    Fucking LOL
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:44 No.13639422
    >It's a kettle! It is perfectly safe to use!

    Surprisingly useful after the apocalypse!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:45 No.13639425
    >It's an oven that flies like a rocket, inflates into a dinghy and responds to temperature changes.

    Holy shit, I can travel on water AND air?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:45 No.13639426
    >It's a razor that makes amusing belching noises! It automatically avoids obstacles.

    A razor that won't shave and makes funny noises, if I could find a way to reproduce it I'd be rich. There's still room for a laugh after the apocalypse right?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:45 No.13639429
    Man, I think the apocalypse just trolled you.

    >It's like a normal barcode reader, but it can help you lose weight.

    But I'm already starving..!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:46 No.13639432
    >It's a samurai sword! It removes stubborn stains!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:46 No.13639436
    >condom is a hole-punch that anticipates your every move, increases your sex appeal and is slightly hallucinogenic.

    Where can i get those?!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:46 No.13639437
    It's a gas-mask that folds out into a tent, plays a mean game of Go and weighs less than a packet of cigarettes.

    Holy shit, I think I'm reasonably safe.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:46 No.13639438
    >It's a T-shirt that dispenses pills and is actually just a solid block of plastic.

    Onve again something I'll use to get high but instead of weed it will be mdma.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:46 No.13639440

    Wait, so does it work when it heats up, or does it heat up while it's working? Or is it recursive...

    >It's a suitcase that's heavier than it looks and has been blessed by a priest.

    Any vampires in this apocalypse are gonna get FUCKED UP!

    >dakold ascending,
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:47 No.13639446
    >It's a rocket launcher that makes money fast, makes reassuring noises and records memos.
    Launch rockets, make money.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:47 No.13639447
    >It's a chocolate bar! It connects to the Internet!

    Fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:47 No.13639450
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    >It's a tricycle that dissolves in water, can bring down an elephant and can be implanted into the arm.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:47 No.13639451
    >It's like a normal stick of chewing gum, but it improves upper-body muscle.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:48 No.13639455
    >It's a first-aid kit that can be controlled remotely! It secretes a sticky glue.

    troll-aid strikes again
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:48 No.13639456
    >It's a glass bead that's ten feet tall! It makes amusing belching noises and glows with an eerie green light.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:49 No.13639460
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    It's raining munnay!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:49 No.13639463
    It's a gas-mask that can play chess, defies gravity and looks really, really good.

    kind of useful i guess
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:49 No.13639464
    >ps3 is a barcode reader! It crushes ice.

    Tee hee.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:49 No.13639465
    >It's a toilet seat that unblocks drains, tells you when it's ready and doubles as a fax machine.
    >tells you when it's ready

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:49 No.13639466
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    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:50 No.13639468
    >It's a mattress that's laced with vodka!
    I'm so tired...but so delightfully drunk
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:50 No.13639471
    >It's a rocket launcher that sends and receives faxes and keeps food fresh for up to eight weeks.

    The perfect survival tool.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:51 No.13639475
    >It's like a normal penknife, but it cures all known illnesses.

    Looks like someone is going to become messiah of the wastes. (thats someone is me)
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:51 No.13639478
    >It's a cricket bat that recites haiku! It vibrates and keeps drinks hot.

    I heard about singing swords and sentient weaponry, but this is silly. Oh well, I hope it knows really good ones.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:51 No.13639479
    >It's a towel that has a mind of its own! It shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger and stretches to twice its original size.

    Actually might be useful, if not for the sentient thought part. This fucker will just get me killed...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:51 No.13639480
    >It's a sock that talks, emits dangerous radiation and emits harmful gases

    GOD DAMN IT cut me a break already
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:51 No.13639481
    It's a wristwatch that's invisible to the naked eye!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:52 No.13639485
    >It's like a normal blow-up doll, but it quacks like a duck.

    My post apocalypic life will be full of fun.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:52 No.13639490
    >It's a football that's made of rubber and is made of glass.

    Oh dear.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:53 No.13639495

    This made me actually actually lol
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:53 No.13639497
    >It's a sticky label that looks like a pot-plant! It follows a target of your choice and can move faster than the speed of light.
    Watch the fuck out.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:53 No.13639499
    >It's like a normal featureless cube, but it folds away when not in use.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:53 No.13639500
    >It's like a normal suppository, but it self-replicates.

    Good news, Its a suppository
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:54 No.13639501

    HG2TG strikes again!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:54 No.13639505
    >It's a chocolate bar that loves you as a person!

    I love you too, chocolate bar. :3
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:54 No.13639506
    >It's a contact lens that repairs itself, dispenses tea or coffee and can pick locks.

    Decent survival gear.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:55 No.13639510
    >It's like a normal robot, but it communicates with wireless devices.

    Miku with Wi-Fi or bluetooth? Don't know if want..
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:55 No.13639513
    >It's a laser-printer! It can be taken apart and reassembled in thirty seconds!

    Don't know much printing I'm going to need to do in a post-apocalyptic society, but it seems like it will be easy to carry around at least.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:55 No.13639515
    >It's a robot that's fully recycleable! It remembers all of its past actions and fetches help in the event of an emergency.

    A little bit too convenent, I can't trust it.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:56 No.13639516
    >It's a bathtub that works in the opposite way to that which you'd expect!

    So...would I just get dirtier, or would it fill with shit?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:56 No.13639517
    >It's like a normal shoe, but it affixes to any flat surface.

    The fact that it is only a single shoe makes it a whole lot less useful. Still I could do some cool moves with it, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:56 No.13639518
    >It's a pair of sunglasses that holds up to twenty cigarettes! It doesn't take no for an answer and freezes anything it touches.

    Now thats some Cool Shades
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:56 No.13639519
    >It's a pot plant that tells you when it's ready! It is only visible under ultraviolet light and runs on tapwater.

    This is the most useful thing ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:57 No.13639521
    >It's a postage stamp that's not suitable for children and recharges itself at night.

    Infinite postage of dubious nature!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:57 No.13639522
    >It's like a normal robotic dog, but it purifies water.

    Warforged Cleric 1
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:58 No.13639524
    >It's a television set that destroys household pests, plays Sokoban and jams mobile phone frequencies.
    Hey, that's not too shabby.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:58 No.13639525
    >It's a retinal implant that unblocks drains! It operates on a quantum level.

    quantum bowl movement?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:58 No.13639527
    >It's a kettle that dissolves in water, jumps like a frog and hovers three feet from the ground.
    So, um, yea. Cool.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)07:59 No.13639530
    >It's a fork that can be taken apart and reassembled in thirty seconds and obeys simple instructions.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:00 No.13639537
    >It's a robot that crushes ice and has a human brain inside.

    Oh dear god. I hope to the love of god it doesn't grow attached to me for granting it freedom, last thing I need is a RoboBrain that would destroy my stash of drugs.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:00 No.13639541
    >t's an artificial limb that shreds documents!

    I'll call myself... Shredder!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:00 No.13639545
    >It's an answering machine that can be used by children, keeps food fresh for up to eight weeks and is water-resistant.
    Mother fucking jack pot.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:01 No.13639549
    >It's a rickshaw! It uses human blood for fuel!
    Ok, i'm chuckling like a motherfucker here.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:01 No.13639550
    >It's a wristwatch that dispenses tea or coffee! It repels bees and disinfects work surfaces.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:01 No.13639552
    >It's a pair of trousers that does exactly what it says on the tin! It counts your loose change.

    That's fucking useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:02 No.13639555
    Design #1760455229
    It's a hairpiece that catches fire very easily, can move faster than the speed of light and operates on a quantum level.

    So, it can move at speed of light but I'd assume resulting friction will cause it to light on fire, all the time.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:02 No.13639557
    >It's a letter-opener that's programmed against harming humans, uses human blood for fuel and mimics its user.

    So, I have a pacifist vampire that looks and acts exactly like me and can open letters.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:03 No.13639558
    >It's a knife that sings comical songs and speaks randomly-generated sentences.

    The singing knife, what an accursed artifact, it has been known to drive men crazy with its inane talk and songs of dry wit.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:03 No.13639559
    >It's a blow-up doll that tells you when it's ready, can be implanted into the arm and traps small animals.

    Hey, >>13639450, with our powers combined we could rule the world.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:03 No.13639562
    >It's a blender that shoots laser beams! It keeps track of your personal calendar.

    Must be wireless too...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:03 No.13639565
    >It's an iMac that looks better than it sounds!

    so I get a pc?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:04 No.13639566
    >Design #574723313

    >It's a freezer that increases your sex appeal, runs on compressed air and can be used by children.

    Great if you're pedophile. Putting children in the freezer, and watching them become sexy.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:04 No.13639567
    >It's a wafer-thin plastic sheet that can be assembled from common household parts and craves attention.

    Could be good for company.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:04 No.13639568
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    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:05 No.13639571
    >It's a chocolate bar that's audible only to dogs! It can be used as a metal detector and is invisible to the naked eye.

    No one can hear my invisible chocolate!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:05 No.13639572
    >It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that sounds better than it looks! It can pick locks and moulds vegetables.

    How do I get it to pick locks from the fishbowl?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:05 No.13639574
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    >It's a hat that has a million household uses! It catches flies and has a retro 70s design.

    Time to become the new Don
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:05 No.13639575
    >It's an alcoholic drink that knows what you want before you do, disposes of kitchen waste and can bring down an elephant.

    This is the best drinke ver.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:06 No.13639577
    >The Schwissmeiss is a pair of sunglasses that records everything you say and sends and receives faxes.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:06 No.13639580
    >No one can hear my invisible chocolate!
    I laughed. SO HARD.

    I'm pretty sure I disturbed the guy in the apartment next to mine.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:07 No.13639587
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    9000 hours in photoshop.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:07 No.13639588

    Are you sure you want to drink that? Knowing it could take down elephants, the alcohol content is more than likely to kill you.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:08 No.13639590
    >Das Fpecialty Opkown is a blow-up doll that works at any altitude! It dehumidifies the air.

    ... Gonna need a lot of lube for this one...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:08 No.13639591
    >It's a handheld razor that explodes when dropped! It waters your plants.

    Haha, I got water and crops. Plus I'm always well shaved! Suck it, bitches! *fumbles* oh shi- BOOM!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:08 No.13639592
    >It's a chainsaw that stays sharp forever, mimics its user and inflates into a dinghy.
    Let's cross the river in my chainsaw dinghy! No, it's perfectly safe, jump in. I'll start the motor.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:08 No.13639594
    No need to worry, the drink would know whether he wants to or not.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:09 No.13639596
    The Internet....
    >> Servant of the Emperor 01/24/11(Mon)08:09 No.13639598
    >It's a suppository that dissolves dirt, has a built-in alarm clock and is water-resistant.

    >> Rubric Marine !fQrRN.o0Zk 01/24/11(Mon)08:10 No.13639600
    >It's a penknife that can heat a small house and kills all known germs dead.

    That's... really useful, actually.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:10 No.13639602
    Design #642378957

    It's a sandwich-toaster that's built and maintained by tiny nano-robots, shoots laser beams and jams mobile phone frequencies.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:10 No.13639603
    > It's a pair of roller-skates that purifies water and feeds your pets.

    Useful. Transportation, cleans water and feeds my pets. Though what on I am not sure.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:10 No.13639605
    > a teddy bear that dissolve sin water, detects radiation, and looks really really good.

    I can see raiders trying to steal it for the gieger counter part of it, and it getting accidentally droppe dinto water while i scream "YOU FOOOOOOLS"
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:11 No.13639607
    >Loctimed Reafon is a crematorium that connects to the web! It sorts your mail.

    Do I really want something that burns at 1000F to be sorting my mail?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:12 No.13639613
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    >It's like a normal electronic implant, but it induces lucid dreaming.

    Oh. Fucking. Yeah.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:12 No.13639615
    >It's a pudding that emits dangerous radiation, produces 240v of electricity and folds away when not in use.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:13 No.13639618

    Bioradioelectric pudding... now in chocolate!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:14 No.13639625
    >It's a sofa that bounces! It freezes anything it touches and fires plastic darts.

    Great ! . . . wait, i can't sit on it.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:14 No.13639628
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    >It's a business card that doesn't need batteries!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:15 No.13639630
    fuck your shit i'm the king of sunglasses

    >It's a handheld pair of sunglasses that rotates at high speed and looks like a fish.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:16 No.13639633
    >It's a housebrick that keeps your carpets clean, catches spiders and detects harmful gases.

    Two of things would be useful, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:16 No.13639635
    >It's a key-ring! It stays exactly where you leave it!

    An immovable keyring? How could that be even usefu-CLANGjinglejinglejingle
    >> Einar 01/24/11(Mon)08:18 No.13639641
    It's a wireless network device that runs on a single AA battery, produces pure oxygen and shreds documents.

    Hell yeah, im selling fresh air for a living
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:19 No.13639643
    >It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that has sleek curves! It catches small fish.

    the high point of technology: fish that catch other fish
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:19 No.13639644
    >Strong Stimince is a cricket bat! It doesn't always work!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:20 No.13639646
    >It's a sofa that doesn't always work!

    Lazy sofa don't want you to laze around all day.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:20 No.13639650
    >It's a speaker system! It probably won't work.

    >> Einar 01/24/11(Mon)08:20 No.13639652
    >Cocklard is a robotic dog! It is fully recycleable!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:21 No.13639657
    >It's like a normal billboard, but it's made of solid gold.

    Damnit. I'd be rich if I could lift the fucking thing.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:22 No.13639658
    It's a hat that tells you when people are lying! It fetches your hat.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:22 No.13639660
    >Dare Govemen is like a normal samurai sword, but it can be used as a metal detector.

    You hit things with it, and if it doesn't cut through, 'yup, thats metal'
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:22 No.13639661
    >It's a button-badge that's covered with realistic fur! It can move faster than the speed of light.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:23 No.13639664
    >It's a stick of chewing gum that fits into the boot of a car! It sticks to the ceiling like a gecko.

    Gum? I get fucking GUM?!?!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:23 No.13639668
    >It's a scooter that displays pornography! It scares dogs.

    What... what kind of pornography does it display?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:23 No.13639669
    >It's a parachute that tells you when people are lying! It repels bees and comes with its own storage kennel.

    At least I got something somewhat useful. Marauders, cannibals, and bees aren't going to trick me any longer...

    Plus, I'm sure I could fashion it into a makeshift tent!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:23 No.13639670
    Heh. A few minutes ago I got "it's a billboard that defies gravity and is made of solid gold".
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:23 No.13639673
    >It's a handgun that keeps your breath fresh for up to twenty-four hours, disinfects work surfaces and may have harmful side effects.

    harmfull side-effects... like death?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:24 No.13639676
    It scares dogs.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:26 No.13639682
    >> Design #706552643

    It's a letterbox that produces 240v of electricity, dehumidifies the air and is biodegradable.

    brb, conquering the world with my endeless electricity source.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:26 No.13639683
    Well, how else do you think it is supposed to freshen and disinfect? It -is- a handgun after all.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:28 No.13639691
    >It's a pen that hasn't gone on any murderous rampages yet, remembers all of its past actions and catches spiders.

    Huh... That's... I'm suddenly uneasy...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:28 No.13639692
    Design #488132768

    It's a stereo system that speaks with the voice of James Earl Jones! It stays sharp forever and produces hot tea or coffee.

    Upon re-reading the description, HOLY JESUS CHRIST that is super useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:28 No.13639693
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    >It's a mattress that can heat a small house, flies like a rocket and is different every time you use it.

    ...I guess at least I have comfortable transportation and a warm place to sleep no matter what?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:29 No.13639695
    Design #2275678974

    It's a razor that destroys household pests! It provides an RSS feed and remembers your personal preferences.

    This will be useful...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:29 No.13639697
    >The Mitioria Army is a fork that has a built-in motion sensor! It is unbreakable and produces pure oxygen.

    Guys, I think I just found the ultimate weapon for.... BIG BOSS!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:35 No.13639727
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    >Mfw shotgun mouthwash
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:36 No.13639734

    And upon reading Wikipedia on James Earl Jones; DARTH MOTHERFUCKING VADER IS MY STEREO, BITCHES.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:37 No.13639740
    >Ruby Quest is a letterbox that catches spiders!

    >Iron Quest is an umbrella that can emulate a ZX Spectrum! It looks really, really good.

    >Tau Quest is a car! It collects litter!

    >OP is a credit card that moulds to fit its user and squirts clouds of black ink.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:38 No.13639744
    >/tg/ is a fusebox that dehumidifies the air and is completely waterproof.

    >4chan is a golf club that moulds to fit its user! It works upside-down.

    >The Internet is an oven that comes with its own storage kennel!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:38 No.13639746
    >It's a jetpack that destroys household pests, hovers three feet from the ground and may cause drowsiness.

    ha ha, I'm out of he- zzzzzzz
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:43 No.13639773
    >It's a bubble-car! It plays light music!
    if I can be sure of how to fuel the blasted thing then I should be able to get around the wastes in style
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:44 No.13639777
    >It's an artificial limb that catches fire very easily.

    All fear my wooden peg leg
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:48 No.13639788
    >It's a bathtub that dissolves in water! It loves you as a person and talks.

    "I'm afraid I can't let you take a bath, Dave."
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:48 No.13639789
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    > It's like a normal human clone, but it has a built-in alarm clock.

    Got myself a slave it seems, and I wont be late for anything!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:50 No.13639794
    >It's a CD player that can be taken on holiday, works at any altitude and irons your shirts.

    Well uh, at least I'll have music and nice shirts
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)08:54 No.13639811
    >It's a barcode reader that cures all known illnesses, provides an RSS feed and keeps your breath fresh for up to twenty-four hours.

    I think I can work with this.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:02 No.13639849
    Design #886403782

    It's a WAP device that has an alarm setting, keeps your teeth clean and produces 240v of electricity.

    Self powered tooth brush that connects to the internet? BRING IT ON!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:05 No.13639862
    It's a telephone! It never gets tired!

    Telephone y u no stop calling?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:12 No.13639886
    >It's a diamond ring that glows with an eerie green light, costs less than £20 and lasts forever.

    So basically, i'm the Green Lantern.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:16 No.13639902
    >It's like a normal bicycle, but it expands at the touch of a button.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:20 No.13639914
    >It's a saucepan that's heavier than it looks and pushes things down staircases.

    I will be the terror of staircases.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:20 No.13639916
    >It's a headband that cures all known illnesses and follows a target of your choice.
    ok yeah.

    I can use this.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:29 No.13639951
    >It's a rocket launcher that keeps your teeth clean!

    Fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:30 No.13639957
    >It's a housebrick that can be controlled remotely!

    Sweet. I'd use it to patrol the premises around my camp, knocking down intruders. Also might be able to whack birds out of the sky for food.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:32 No.13639972
    >It's like a normal hi-fi, but it can bring down an elephant.


    I dont know what this means, but it might be useful if i have to bring any elephants down.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:32 No.13639973
    >It's like a normal robotic dog, but it's used by the US military.

    Yeah. Me and Scrambles the Death Dealer go on wacky adventures now. I think we'll be fine.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:33 No.13639974
    >It's an artificial limb that's unbreakable!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:33 No.13639978
    >It's an umbrella that wears a waistcoat and tie! It can disable electrical hardware and produces 240v of electricity.

    It's a fucking Jeevesbrella, bitches!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:33 No.13639979
    >It's a crematorium that induces lucid dreaming!

    well, i have somewhere to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:34 No.13639983
    >It's a new type of vegetable that doesn't take no for an answer!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:35 No.13639987
    >It's a feather duster that shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger! It unblocks drains and dissolves dirt.

    At least I'll be clean with the morlocs come to eat me
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:35 No.13639990
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    >It's a business card that contains alcohol and recharges itself at night.

    I'll live.
    >> Captain Baha 01/24/11(Mon)09:37 No.13639997
    It's a games console that's oak-panelled! It can disable electrical hardware.

    Please let the gang I find to be a bunch of /v/idya addicts. Also I have a working EMP in the form of a console.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:40 No.13640014
    >It's a teddybear! It fetches sticks!

    I'm doomed, but damned if I'm not doomed in adorable style.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:41 No.13640019
    >It's a samurai sword that can pick up digital radio, disposes of kitchen waste and speaks randomly-generated sentences.

    aww yeah
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:43 No.13640034
    Design #2273327491

    It's like a normal MP3 player, but it costs less than £20.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:44 No.13640044
    >It's a hairpiece that can pick up digital radio, is oak-panelled and makes you invisible.

    That'll do.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:45 No.13640047
    So it's basically just a normal mp3 player?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:46 No.13640059
    >It's a human clone that follows you around!

    At best, companionship and someone to help you out. At worst, a few days worth of food.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:46 No.13640061
    >It's like a normal aquarium, but it receives data from any nearby marker pen.

    Good if I want to spy on people, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:46 No.13640062
    >It's like a normal T-shirt, but it catches small fish.

    Not sure if want.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:47 No.13640066
    >It's a fizzy drink that squirts water! It fetches help in the event of an emergency and flies like a rocket.


    I guess I won't be going thirsty, at least.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:47 No.13640069
    >It's a featureless cube that cannot be removed from your house! It displays pornography and can be used by children.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:49 No.13640081
    >It's a pogo stick that connects to a fork! It tracks its position with GPS and uses captured Martian technology.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:49 No.13640082
    >It's a dog collar! It's perfectly safe to use!
    Fuck you too, fate.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:50 No.13640088
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    Design #1037811563

    It's a hat! It hovers!

    .... the fuck
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:50 No.13640090
    >It's a human clone that glows with an eerie green light!

    Well, I'm fucked. I got a glowing one.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:51 No.13640095
    >It's a housebrick that makes reassuring noises!

    So while I'm beating someone to death with it, I'll be nice and calm?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:52 No.13640100
    >It's like a normal human clone, but it pings when it's ready.

    Cool beans. Clone army forever.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:57 No.13640124
    >It's like a normal pair of sunglasses, but it cleans itself.

    I can work with this.
    >> Da Red Kommanda 01/24/11(Mon)09:57 No.13640126
    > It's a genetically-modified sheep that produces 240v of electricity! It has a built-in motion sensor and runs on tapwater.

    I'm golden!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:58 No.13640136
    >It's a football that plays light music, keeps you warm at night and is invisible to the naked eye.

    well... It is useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:58 No.13640138
    >It's like a normal handgun, but it rotates at high speed.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)09:59 No.13640145
    >It's like a normal walking stick, but it's better than the last one.

    IN YOUR FACE, >>13639280
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:00 No.13640151
    >It's a digital camera that looks like a pot-plant and is powered by a single hamster.

    That's hilarious!

    >It's a diamond ring that produces 240v of electricity! It can disable electrical hardware..

    Now that's a useful spy tool.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:00 No.13640157
    >It's a genetically-modified sheep that doubles as a fizzy drink, takes high-quality digital photos and detects evil.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:03 No.13640176
    > It's an ironing board that's made from recycled cardboard!.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:03 No.13640177
    >It's a robotic dog that can pick up digital radio, dispenses pills and makes virtually no noise whatsoever.

    Painkiller dispensing, stealth robo attack dog! Damn near perfect companion...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:03 No.13640178
    >It's a toilet seat that detects harmful gases! It gets +2 to kill undead and sends and receives text messages.

    Why can't it be a zombie apocalypse?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:04 No.13640186
    >It's a normal contraceptive device that affixes to any flat surface.

    Well. That certainly sounds...useful.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 01/24/11(Mon)10:05 No.13640187
    Golden Fleece of the Androids! It is the only thing they dream of!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:05 No.13640188
    >It's like a normal sheet of paper, but it can be used on the move.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:08 No.13640204
    >It's a hole-punch that kills fleas, craves attention and has a built-in motion sensor.

    "Hey Link! Hey Link! HEY! HEY!"


    "Wanna see me put the punch on that flea over there?"


    "Aww... HEY LINK!"
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:08 No.13640208
    >It's a rocket launcher that clamps to your wrist! It runs on compressed air.

    I'm Boba Fett.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:08 No.13640210
    >It's like a normal screwdriver, but it bleeps when you whistle for it.

    I would pay so much money for one of these right now.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:10 No.13640219
    >It's like a normal dog collar, but it exists in five dimensions.

    Most dog collars, right? They only go to three dimensions. This one goes up to five.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:10 No.13640220
    >It's a hole-punch that cures all known illnesses! It moves from side to side and is water-absorbent.

    That's actually pretty useful. Just like a shot.

    >It's like a normal hi-fi, but it sticks to the ceiling like a gecko.

    I could climb any surface just by high-fiving my way up. I'm gonna have brutal palms of fury.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:11 No.13640221
    >Design #597420169

    >It's like a normal eraser, but it follows a target of your choice.

    *shrug* I'll take what I can get.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:12 No.13640227
    >It's a lunchbox! It is twenty feet tall!

    fucking stupid
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:14 No.13640235
    >It's a human clone that lasts forever!
    >It is smaller than a matchbox.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:14 No.13640238
    You are going to be so embarrassed when the hungry giant comes to trade and you've thrown your tech away.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:16 No.13640248


    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:17 No.13640259
    >It's a sandwich-toaster that freezes anything it touches! It plays the theme from Sanford and Son.

    Frozen toasted human sammiches. Looks like I need a fire to defrost it, though. Also, Sanford and Son, fuck yeah.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 01/24/11(Mon)10:17 No.13640264
    >It's a button-badge that mows your lawn and is made entirely of wood.
    It'll be useful for exploring thick grassland.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:20 No.13640282
    >It's a pair of underpants that requires a sample of DNA! It will drive you insane and tells you when it's ready.


    Ready for what?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:21 No.13640288
    >It's like a normal blow-up doll, but it can be programmed to perform simple tasks.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:25 No.13640310

    I can see /d/ wanting this for a fair price...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:26 No.13640316
    >Design #919375807
    >It's a burglar alarm that gets +2 to kill undead! It works at any altitude and can speak French.

    Safety, Security, and can talk to the french in case they survived. All told, pretty handy, especially in the case of zombies.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:26 No.13640318
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    >It's like a normal teddybear, but it's made of rubber.

    What am i go...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:27 No.13640319
    It's a Christmas tree that spins about its axis!

    That's just about the most useless thing ever. Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:27 No.13640321
    >It's a window pane! It speaks with the voice of James Earl Jones!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:27 No.13640323
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    >Design #3513482066
    >It's like a normal blender, but it spins about its axis.

    Somehow, I feel cheated.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:28 No.13640327
    It's a dog collar that hovers three feet from the ground! It plays a selection of current chart hits.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:28 No.13640328
    >It's an explosive device that makes reassuring noises! It crushes ice and can only be operated by a trained professional.

    well fuck me, at least it makes reassuring noises
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:29 No.13640333
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    >It's a human clone that shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger and comes in seven different colours.

    Thats awesome but pic
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:31 No.13640346
    >It's an ironing board! It will not work outside of the UK!

    What is this I don't even
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:31 No.13640348
    >Design #2439769188

    >It's like a normal beermat, but it can bring down an elephant.

    What is this a beermat that can kill things score.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:31 No.13640352
    >>Design #1492845035
    >>It's a toaster that pings when it's ready!

    I got a regular toaster.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:35 No.13640380
    >It's a milk carton that connects to the Internet! It purifies water and can light cigarettes.

    Clean water, no problems getting a campfire going and access to what's left of the internet? Aww yeah.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:43 No.13640426
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    >It's like a normal robot, but it loves you as a person.

    >logicians: Lispilde
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:44 No.13640435
    >It's a screwdriver that destroys household pests! It can disable electrical hardware.


    >It's a coffee cup that uses human blood for fuel! It detects evil.

    INFINITE COFFEE and also protection against psycho cannibals I guess.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:44 No.13640438
    It's a robotic dog that has a leopardskin print, runs on tapwater and can bring down an elephant.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:45 No.13640449
    >It's a genetically-modified sheep that dispenses tea or coffee! It communicates with wireless devices.

    Awesome! Food, water, and wool all in one, and I can use it to call people! I just don't want to think of where the tea and coffee comes from.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:46 No.13640458
    >It's a riot shield! It dispenses pills!


    >Libberal Quality

    And it was made by those godless communists!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:46 No.13640462
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    Design #3485934461

    >It's like a normal sticky label, but it can move faster than the speed of light.

    I'm outta here.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 01/24/11(Mon)10:47 No.13640464
    >INFINITE COFFEE and also protection against psycho cannibals I guess.

    No John, you are the Cannibals.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:48 No.13640473
    >five dimensional golf club that never runs out of plastic darts that it fires.

    Unlimited ammo, that could definitely be useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:49 No.13640479
    It's a freezer that freezes anything it touches! It freezes anything it touches.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:50 No.13640484
    >It's a unicycle that glows in the dark, works at twice the normal speed and doesn't take no for an answer.


    LET'S GO

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:53 No.13640504
    >It's a sticky label that improves upper-body muscle and uses human blood for fuel.

    I, uh, huh. I guess I found the Label of Khorne. Khorne wills I slaughter everything in my path for maximum strength, apparently.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:54 No.13640513
    >It's like a normal samurai sword, but it has a million household uses.

    It slices, it dices, and it can still cut a tomato.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:56 No.13640519
    >It's a letter-opener that has been blessed by a priest, detects evil and automatically updates your weblog when used.
    >> Glutton 01/24/11(Mon)10:56 No.13640520
    >It's a blow-up doll that clamps to your wrist! It moves from side to side.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:57 No.13640525
    >It's an eraser that connects to the Internet, shoots laser beams and never needs repairing.


    I can mutafuck erase yo face, and see some pronz yo
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:58 No.13640530
    >It's a penknife that talks! It runs on compressed air and won't make a hole in your wallet.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:58 No.13640538
    >It's a blender that can speak French! It counts your loose change and plays the American national anthem.

    A blender that speaks to the french, but only to piss them off.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)10:59 No.13640539
    >It's a human clone that talks and keeps you warm at night.

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:00 No.13640549
    >It's an iMac that's made of solid gold, swears and scans its user's fingerprints.

    Why the fuck would I steal a mac from a rapper on parole?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:05 No.13640586
    I had some kind of hearing aid which can play the trumpet and remember past actions... wut?

    When i try to find it again...
    >hearing aid is like a normal bracelet, but it responds to temperature changes.

    Well... thats a fail...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:05 No.13640587
    >It's a hair gel that emits harmful gases! It is audible only to dogs and pushes things down staircases.

    It's the end of the world and even my hair gel is trying to kill me.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:05 No.13640589
    Design #1370657202

    >>It's a screwdriver that contains the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica!

    Well at least I will be a well-read scavenger.
    >> Hokori-Guy 01/24/11(Mon)11:06 No.13640592
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    >It's a bar of soap! It increases your sex appeal!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:07 No.13640597

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:07 No.13640601
    >It's a samurai sword that self-replicates! It communicates with other copies of itself.

    We could rule the world with an Iron fist!
    >> Hokori-Guy 01/24/11(Mon)11:09 No.13640608
    >It's a pogo stick that walks on three mechanical legs! It is slightly hallucinogenic.

    w.. wha..
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:09 No.13640615
    >It's an airbag! It knows your name!

    I'm just gonna assume it talks. For d'awww purposes.

    "Damn it. The food is spoilt already."
    "Are you sure? I mean, I'll get sick if I eat this."
    "You're right. I'm too hungry be choosy."
    "Oh Mr. Airbag, you are the only one who knows my pain."
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:14 No.13640642
    >It's a genetically-modified sheep that can be assembled from common household parts! It rotates at high speed.

    Excellent. I can go scrap hunting and by the end of the day have a wool coat and some fresh mutton for dinner.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:18 No.13640669
    It's a false moustache that glows with an eerie green light! It is unbreakable.

    HA HA, YES.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:18 No.13640671
    >It's a pudding that works at any altitude and smells a bit funny.


    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:19 No.13640677
    Design #4193681729

    It's like a normal fork, but it will not work outside of the UK.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:19 No.13640680
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    >It's a toilet seat that has been featured in Star Trek!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:20 No.13640688
    >It's a hairpiece that glows with an eerie green light. It is unbreakable.

    You and me, buddy, we're going places.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:22 No.13640709
    In other words, it's a perfectly normal pudding?

    In the same vein:
    >It's a gas-mask that's water-resistant and is made of rubber.
    >It's a soft-drink can that's perfectly safe to use and has no moving parts.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:27 No.13640749
    >It's a T-shirt that hovers three feet from the ground!

    ...I'm fairly sure there's an invisible man following me wearing nothing but a T-shirt.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:35 No.13640798
    >It's a fusebox! It can only be operated by a trained professional!

    Well, I am a trained electrician.

    What the hell am I going to do with a fuse box?
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:39 No.13640835
    >>Design #919035964

    >>It's a contraceptive device that sticks to the skin!
    >>It doesn't always work.

    Oh great.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:45 No.13640857
    >>It's a hairpiece that has been featured in Star Trek!

    I have got Shatner's wig! Repeat I'VE GOT THE SHAT'S WIG!
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:46 No.13640866
    >Design #215854776

    >It's a pair of sunglasses that can be used by the whole family, is made of rubber and sends and receives text messages.

    Ill keep it in the "Maybe" pile
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:46 No.13640871
         File1295887599.jpg-(71 KB, 341x512, hoverboard_jpg_667x667_q100.jpg)
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    >It's a Skateboard that hovers!

    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:49 No.13640891
    >It's a knife that's used by the US military and repairs itself.
    >It's a knife
    >and repairs itself

    im safe
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)11:57 No.13640953
    >It's a carpet that operates on a quantum level! It is made of solid gold and waters your plants.

    Hmm, bit heavy to carry around.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)12:23 No.13641198
    >It's like a normal office whiteboard, but it produces hot tea or coffee.

    Holy shit! I am now the God of Caffeine in this Wasteland.c
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)12:50 No.13641430
    just returning from earlier, if i eat the pudding do i then do these things? cos being able to electrocute people sounds pretty useful, and give them cancer.
    >> northern /k/ommando 01/24/11(Mon)12:54 No.13641478
    >It's a cigarette lighter that detects background radiation!
    sweet. always good to know if you are about to take a walk into a radioactive area.

    >detects background radiation
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF the thing will never shut up. well, at least i can use it to light camp fires.
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)12:56 No.13641498
    >Design #1938492048
    >It's a rickshaw that traps small animals, doesn't take no for an answer and sticks to the ceiling like a gecko.

    Can we pleeeease come down from the ceiling now? All the blood has run to my head and the animals you caught have fallen out...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)12:59 No.13641522
    >Design #2525212536
    >It's a sheet of paper that contains a tinier version of itself! It doubles as a tricycle.

    How mankind has fallen...
    >> Anonymous 01/24/11(Mon)15:28 No.13642731
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    >It's a toaster that stays sharp forever, pushes things down staircases and runs on compressed air.


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