rolled 70 = 70

sage for shitty questfag

>>13446655

yeah ok

>>13446655
forgot your sage bro

Let's go with Dog Days. We shall assemble a team of hell-hounds to crush our enemies.

singing in the snow

Oh brother, because the way its spaced out makes me think that this will be stalker-related.

Moving On

Sounds like there's room for shenanigans

>>13446674

Eh, I was gonna wait for a tiebreaking vote but forget it, let's go with this one.

fucking shitty quests, quests are never going to be /tg/ related

>>13446779

Will you work for the bike or trust your fate to the birthday gods?

>>13446791
We go on quests to try to earn our money

>>13446786
Wanna argue with the sticky?

>>13446791
YES
we shall quest

>>13446791
I thought the first guy was telling us to just steal the bike. I like this idea the most, but I'd rather do the second if its not an available choice (which I have a hunch that it isn't)

>>13447024

So is that a vote for Goofus?

shit quest

>>13447077
If Goofus is telling us to steal it, then yes. If he's saying be lazy and wait for three months, then no. I vote for the other guy in that case.

>>13447193

He's telling us to wait for three months, so I'll count that as a Gallant vote. /tg/ chooses Gallant!

>>13447245
/tg/ chooses GTFO, faggot

>>13447245

This won't backfire at all.

Try to get money for the bike. Or steal the bike if that's valid

how about dog raping, is that a good way to make money?

>>13447260

Are you gonna share the goods, /tg/? (Monitor is crap so this is what I gotta settle with in terms of a cap.)

>>13447292
>women working

Don't make me laugh. Vote Goofus

>>13447292
well she's not very well gonna fuck us for a promotion if we DON'T hire her, now is she?

Hire Natasha or she'll probably turn out to be better at dogs than us and we'll lose money

>>13447319
In that case, we can only hire her if we pay less than minimum wage.

>>13447292
Fuck no... it's just dog walking, having a second person helping isn't going to somehow make twice the cash or make the dogs shit faster.

Hire Natasha. Subtly control her and make her do more work than you, while making it appear as if you do more work than her. Thus take more money from her. Also sex her.

>>13447292

/tg/ choose Gallant for "honorable" reasons.

>>13447395

How good is your poo fu, /tg/?

>>13447417
From an accounting perspective, shampoo is not a liquid asset and can't be resold, so we wouldn't lose any money using it. We would lose money if we buy more. It'd be stupid not to use it.

We need the money for the bike, so let's go Goofus. Besides, if this backfires we can just blame Natasha.

>>13447436
indeed

get dog shampoo. Human shampoo sticks in dog's fur really bad and makes them itchy and they smell weird. I tried that once and I regretted it and so did my dog.

>>13447417
No, dogs do not bloody well need special shampoo. Plus you only need a tiny amount and then dilute it with water.

Use the sister's stuff

>>13447417

/tg/ chooses Goofus! Now with less "being able to read"

oh noes! we done goofed!

>>13447490
God damn the GM writing this.

FUCK

>>13447490

Fortunately, Mr. Schmeltzer does not break his disguise as a Highlander to destroy you.

>>13447490
really? Wow... that's just extra bullshit railroading... it's worse than the one where God himself basicly comes down and says "Fuck You, Goofus!"

K things are alirght

>>13447521

Do you need Google Maps, /tg/?

OK let's steal some dog shampoo

Yes let's use google maps and write down the number

>>13447521
I'd like it noted that none of this shit would have happen if we hadn't let the girl join the operation.

>>13447551
After the last railroading debacle? We'll hit our head and get amnesia if we don't write it down.

Gallant.

What kind of moron would'nt right down the address?

Gallant

>>13447551
Can he ever remember his phone number? No we're writing it down.

>>13447551
Writing down the address would be useless as we've already proven we can't read.

>>13447551
write down the address on her ass while you fuck her as punishment for the bitch grabbing the wrong shampoo.

in b4 you write it down and lose the note, or write it down wrong.

>>13447551

/tg/ chooses Gallant! Model airplanes suck, do you have Figuarts or something, I can't fight Another Agito with this

Could you imagine being goofus?

It would be living hell, suddenly you're running down the school hallway when a scissor in your backpack slips out into your hand and you impale some kid in the eye.

>>13447631

THE END! Boy, that was...cut short. I feel robbed of a satisfactory Goofus and Gallant experience.

One more quest so it stays in one thread. Choose your destiny from the OP picture!

Let's harass our younger brother.

You know would Gallant call Goofus Goofus or would he call Goofus by his god given Christian name instead of being a dick bag?

Moving on, I never want to see that Natasha bitch again

>>13447655
We got enough money for a bike AND a dog? Dogs are fucking expensive, we must be rich.

>>13447723

Not when you adopt one from a shelter like a kind-hearted individual.

>>13447723

Well, you see, it was cheap because the dog only has...TWO LEGS.

>>13447735
Do adopted dogs eat less?

>>13447749
presumably our parents are actually willing to pay for upkeep

We didn't even have sex with her...

I'm going with Brother. Though, after I found these online, I must say I'm disappointed. If you do anything that isn't Ultra-good, White Knight-esque, you will be fucked over, and fucked over hard.

>>13447747
>TWO LEGS TWO LEGS TWO LEGS TWO LEGS

Rolling for SAN loss.

If anyone's interested I'm currently making a (gigantic) flow chart for the Dog Days story. Mostly to quickly display how you get anally raped every time you follow Goofus' advice.

All right, Brother it is. 4chan's been messing up for me, so let's hope this goes through.

>>13447933
hey let's be fair, it didn't say we DIDN'T have sex with her, and we didn't completely piss her off, so a handsome fellow like us almost DEFINITELY stuck it in that, on multiple occasions

>>13447998
It's because this is basically a propaganda device for parents to show their kids how you're screwed if you aren't an upper left blue 24/7.

>>13448085

Yeah, fuck you, Evan, I was the god damn WIZARD OF OZ

>>13448085
let's kill him and wear his skin

>>13448139

How committed are you to your ACTING CAREER, /tg/?

I'm now imagining the main character as a tiny Brian Blessed complete with beard.

>>13448128
Though, to be fair, a lot of times Goofus's suggestions are just plain retarded. Like not writing down the address.

Though this is balanced out by the fact that both choices are usually retarded, and aren't good divergence points. They also offer no moral ambiguity to go further than "Lazy vs Lawful"

>>13448176
oh god, the moral weight of such decisions,

i suggest we help him, due to the meta-info I've witnessed in this thread

fuck him, you need to get to work on your christian bale impersonation for the elemtary school performance of the dark knight

>>13448176
Fuck him. Who the fuck randomly spells out words? Maybe he has tourettes or something...

Though we get shafted if we pick any of Goofus's suggestions. So I'm honestly split.

>>13448176
Offer to help him out so we can sabotage him.

>>13448176
Offer to help so we can sabotage him.

>>13448143
I really want to do that.

>>13448224
>>13448215

I can't tell if these two are different people or not.

>>13448276
I posted twice by accident.

>>13448276
flip a coin for the tie breaker.

>>13448176
don't, even if it means buttrape no lube.

>>13448300

I'll count them as a single vote for Gallant, then.

>>13448176
Goofes, fuck the consequences the other choice has mommies boy written all over it.

>>13448215
>>13448224

Bromind.

OP continue man!

>>13448451

Need a tiebreaker vote first. Got 2 for Goofus and 2 for Gallant.

>>13448460
let's just roll for it.

>>13448460

Goofus.

>>13448493

I'll roll if it takes too long, but that takes the fun out of questing.

>>13448495

/tg/ chooses Goofus by a hair. Will you go for the prize?

>>13448517
so nothing changes... you knw what let's choose gallant and then sacrfice him to Chutulu... or ruin his work...

>>13448517
Goofus, cause we're being forced to do shit.

The only compensation we need is the chance to see him fail miserably after our "help".

Goofus. This is AMERICA, not some backwards soviet state.

>>13448502
How bout four votes with rolls for eventual need of tie-breaker?

Also, Gallant.

goofus

Gallant. Because we can screw him over later.

>>13448669

these adventures are too short to think about the long term, goofus go go go

>>13448657

/tg/ picks Goofus since that got majority first. >>13448581 was vague to me, so I didn't really count it.

Anyway, this is how my dad raised me - our reward for doing work was "not do more work for a bit". And we get ANOTHER choice. This is not going well for our hero!

So wait, did we get out of helping the kid?

>>13448706
>implying goofus won't sneak out anyway

>>13448706
let him stay then
RAPERAPERAPE

sorry, but I can't be the only one who thought that when reading...

>>13448706
Fuck him. Why the fuck does a genius need us to help him, anyways?

>>13448706
Evan is being a douchebag faggot who only cares about himself. Tell him to go fuck himself for making you lose out on learning your lines AND missing the movies with your friends. He's being a spoiled mama's boy and your mom doesn't give a dick about you.

>civist AUTHORS

>>13448891

Best out of five and it's too early to roll.

It doesn't matter if we mess with Evan. He's just gonna be pic related.

>>13448706
let's go gallant, goofus has fucked us over so far.

goofus wouldn't be a choice if it didn't have good results to pick him.

goofus, can't be all bad.

>>13448927
Protip: Goofus will ALWAYS fuck you over. Take, for example, this hypothetical choice:

You get dressed, and the only thing left to do is tie your shoelaces. What should you do?

Goofus: Fuck it. Just put your laces in your shoes and go out. You have better things to do.

Gallant: Do it because your parents and Jesus said it was the right thing to do

>pick Goofus

You get two steps out your door before your laces pop out, trip you, and send you sprawling into heavy traffic. You wake up in the hospital three months later, and you now cannot move anything below your chin. At least you'll never have to tie your shoes anymore!

>>13448974
See
>>13448128

He totally can be.

>>13448974

/tg/ picks Goofus, proving that, under fire, it is an asshole.

>>13448984
you should write these things

>>13448921
In the context of the story, it's more like this.

>>13448997
does this mean we're getting laid?

>>13448997

You up for some honest father-to-son talk, /tg/?

>>13449014
When the fuck did I decide that I want to see him at the spelling bee? It sounds boring as hell. Lets ask our dad, if only to see if he'll let us not go. I'd suggest skipping it without asking, but I doubt that we have a means of transportation, nor the freedom to do it due to the railroad nature of this plot.

>>13449014
I don't trust any plan Goofus comes up with on his own. Go Gallant.

>>13449014
Let's see what he has to say. That way we can ignore our brother but still seem like the nice guy.

>>13449014
let's ask dad, he may have a way to 'break off the tracks', so to speak

>>13449014
Ask dad about drugs and sex. He said we could ask him anything, right?

>>13449014

Goofus.

I'll go Gallant this time. :(

>>13449014

/tg/ chooses Gallant, but dad is too fucking lazy and tells you to take it to your drama coach. Do you?

>>13449101
Yes so we can try to seduce her. If not, we can always go to her and say that she said we should do it instead of listening to our brother spell shit.

>>13449101
Fuck that. Skip the bee, talk to no one.

>>13449150
I agree, but the plot doesn't. We can't do that, because we'll just get railroaded to the bee.

>>13449179

Why not try and believe?

>>13449202
Because you want Goofus. >>13448984 is what happens when you pick Goofus.

GOOFUS

ALSO

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▀░░░▀░▀░▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀░▀░░▀░▀▀▀░▀

>>13449213
You ever seen a drama person get mad?
Gallant is fucking DEAD.

>>13449265
She wont get mad, though. You have to become aware of the setting we're in, and play to its rules. The drama lady wont get pissed and start being a drama bitch, she'll be nice and offer advice.

>>13449296

She'll stab me.

>>13447643
I'm now imagining that Gallant is just a shell-shocked Goofus, desperately picking the most straight-laced solutions to problems to avoid incurring the wrath of an angry god.

>>13449101

Feh, it's been long enough - I'll go tiebreaker and vote Gallant, earning him the win. Next time will alternate.

>>13449495

We get the role because we are Tiny Brian Blessed.

>>13449503

Know what my dad got my sister for landing a part in a play? "You should focus on French more."

He was a giant asshole.

>>13449518
He spells out words in the middle of a goddamn song? Fuck him.

It also appears that our Gallant Gambit has backfired on us by denying us our excuse to avoid the bee.

>>13449518

THE END! This one felt a bit longer than the other, but it's still more fun when you Goofus all the way.

Anyway, that's it for this installment of Goofus and Gallant Quest. Join me later on when we do the FINAL TWO QUESTS and see if /tg/ truly is a Goofus or a Gallant!

Enjoy your shitty bee.

>>13449539

First loser, bro. First loser.

Meanwhile I'm lead.

Can someone explain to me how the fuck watching a spelling bee could ever be fun. I'm obviously excluding things that you could do AT a spelling bee to make it fun, because it's said that he was enjoying the act of simply watching it.

>>13449614

Unless you like listening to the words being said or your kid is in it...

>>13449690

"Concerned. C-O-N-C-E-R-N-E-D. Concerned."

"YES. WOW. I was looking forward to THAT word. YES. AWESOME WORD."

>>13449690
Even if it was your kid, I imagine it being boring most of the time. But he wasn't even your kid.

Maybe if you got really drunk beforehand...

>>13449843

"Spell assume."
"Assume. A-S-U-M-E. Assume."
"I'm sorry, that's incorrect."
"OH MY GOD YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT
LEARN TO SPELLLLLLLLL
WHOSE KID IS THAT
HUH
COME ON, TELL ME
I'LL SHOW HIM HOW TO SPELL
IN THE MOUTH
BAHAHAHAHAHA"

>>13449940

That's terrible and hilarious at the same time.

I can only assume, based on the previous Goofus-triggered railroading, that had we gone all Goofus the father would have turned out to be a violent drunk, and our unwillingness to involve him in our lives would have dragged him into an alcohol-fueled spiral ending in a tear-filled divorce...that makes us miss our audition.