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    100 KB Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:16 No.9887349  
    My grandfather was basically insane.

    He managed to amass a fortune before he turned 30 through shameless embezzlement, lived a life of pure and simple vice, and in his final year wrote a 300 page will before committing suicide through a narcotic overdose.

    I was in his will. I wasn't actually mentioned by name, but I was one of the thirty grandchildren who happened to be over the age of 18 when he died. Rather than simply leaving us a portion of his wealth, we're being put through a series of ordeals that boil down to how far are we willing to go for 5 million dollars. It's like a horrible reality show.

    The first trial got rid of all but six participants.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:17 No.9887363
    Mr. Black (which I doubt is his real name), the lawyer in charge of administering the different trials, gave us each a small tray with a scalpel, some shears, and a few other nasty looking tools, including a corkscrew and a cheese grater. He then revealed a small set of scales, and told us that this was the "Shylock" trial. We would have to remove an ounce of our flesh in order to pass to the next round.

    Half of my cousins (all who I had never met before) couldn't even lift the knives. A few went further, but stopped once they drew some blood. Five million is a lot of money, but apparently it's not enough for some people. They were escorted out of the room, and I never saw them again.

    One of my cousins, Mike, was an idiot, but managed to pass. He used the shears to cut off the last two joints of his pinky. Another, Emma, was an even bigger idiot, because she copied his example.

    I paid close attention to the three who didn't seem at all worried. Gavin was a person who had more than enough flesh to spare, probably weighing somewhere around 250lbs. He reached around, pinched himself, and snipped off an ounce of flesh from his ass like it was something he did everyday.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:20 No.9887401
    Jill snipped off an earlobe. When that wasn't enough, she snipped off the other one. She made a comment about it hurting about as much as getting them pierced, but I doubt it.

    I held the tray, wondering what ounce of flesh I could sacrifice. Nick, the guy who went next, asked Mr. Black to define again exactly what "flesh" was. Mr. Black replied that besides hair and nails, all else was fair game.

    Nick took the cheese grater, and gently started scraping away at the bottom of his feet. In a few minutes, he had an ounce of dried skin shavings. The four who already passed started to shout when they realized what he was doing, but Mr. Black said that it followed the rules in the will, and thus was allowed.

    Going last, I just copied Nick. It was far too easy. It was practically painless, and basically ended up giving myself a pedicure instead of going through some terrible ordeal. The first four looked at me like they all wanted to kill me, but Nick didn't seem at all bothered by me copying him.

    Our next trial was two days later. We were told to shower thoroughly before 6 o'clock, when a car would come to pick us up. We ended up in a penthouse, where Mr. Black explained the rules of the next trial.
    >> scaredofshadows !!zxfRuuFd4v1 05/18/10(Tue)00:21 No.9887412
    >He reached around, pinched himself, and snipped off an ounce of flesh from his ass like it was something he did everyday.

    that part was pretty good
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:22 No.9887431
    This is my first time on /tg/

    I love this board already
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:23 No.9887450
    Isn't it amazing?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:24 No.9887472
    To summarize, we would have to have sex with at least one other person.

    I doubt I need to provide more evidence that my grandfather was insane.

    Keep in mind, we were all cousins (except for the two pinkyless idiots, who were brother and sister). And, some rapid math for you, there were two girls and four guys.

    The rules were simple. "Sex" would be defined as ejaculating into someone, or being ejaculated into. Oral sex would not count, but vaginal and anal sex would. Anyone who did not have sex within the hour would be eliminated. As Mr. Black exited the penthouse, he explained that "tools" could be found throughout the rooms, and there were plenty of hidden cameras.

    We first tried discussion. We were all competing against each other, but we needed at least one other person to cooperate. The conversation turned into an argument rapidly, especially considering that there was no way that everyone was going to get out of this happy.
    >> Touhou Homebrew Guy 05/18/10(Tue)00:24 No.9887473
    Glad to have you.

    Now, OP, please continue if you would. Have you been told about the second trial at all? Do you think you'll have to go first this time?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:26 No.9887495
    OP: Why did you have to start this thread so late at night. I have work early tomorrow.
    I love this concept and hope the thread gets archived once it's done.
    >> Touhou Homebrew Guy 05/18/10(Tue)00:27 No.9887507
    Never mind that then. Derp.

    ...Part of me doesn't see quite AS MUCH difficulty aside from the awkwardness. Perhaps some of the "tools" include money, enough for any whores to make the whole thing less uncomfortable?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:28 No.9887528
    Storytime already?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:29 No.9887539
    waiting on OP.jpeg
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:29 No.9887540
    Good hook, but you should have written it out to before posting it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:30 No.9887556
    Just call your girlfriend/wife/escort service, etc...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:30 No.9887561
    At some point, Gavin just stood up and shouted at Emma to let him fuck her. Mike jumped up, told him to fuck off, and took his sister into a different room. While the other three continued to try to set up plans, I took a look around.

    I found some of the "tools" in the first drawer I checked. Some I had expected. Condoms, lubricants, and even an enema kit, along with didoes and anal beads were all neatly arranged. But there were some tools that surprised me. Sleeping pills. Jar of Ether. A taser. The next drawer had rope and handcuffs, along with a nightstick.

    I grabbed the taser, pills, and ether, since they fit easily into my pockets. I continued to search around, and found another complete set in the kitchen. When I returned to where the others were, they were still debating.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:30 No.9887564
    come on OP.....
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)00:31 No.9887577
    This is a fucking great story.
    >> Nameless 05/18/10(Tue)00:31 No.9887580
    Given that the will required you to perform a certain degree of self-mutilation as its first stipulation, it would be fairly simple to get it overturned on the grounds of illegality, and/or your grandfather not actually being of sound mind in its creation.
    If the second stipulation REQUIRES you to commit incest, all the better for your lawsuit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:32 No.9887591
         File1274157163.jpg-(44 KB, 418x480, Smiley 50s guy.jpg)
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    I see where this is going...
    And I like it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:32 No.9887598

    furthermore, the fact that this story is completely made up would give you a lot of sway with the jury
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:33 No.9887601
    Amusing. Might I point out something?

    It clearly sounds like your crazy ass grandfather is setting you all up. (from beyond the grave.)

    The trials are going to get more humiliating, painful, and unpleasant. He's finding out who's a bitch enough to fall for it. Challenge the legitimacy, and/or demand to read over his will yourself. Think outside the box.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:33 No.9887605
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:34 No.9887616
    Your grandpa is Tzeentch and Slaanesh combined.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:35 No.9887620
    Going to end in a candle [obstructing words] jack. I just know it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:35 No.9887621
    It's like The Ship, that old, interesting multiplayer game, only instead of murder, it's rape.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:36 No.9887635
    This is going to end a lot like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:36 No.9887636
    I give OP five minutes before i go to bed
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:36 No.9887642
    I predict gay rape.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:36 No.9887643

    >Implying there won't be a murder at some point
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:37 No.9887649
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:37 No.9887653
         File1274157433.jpg-(517 KB, 1362x637, AwesomeRaptors.jpg)
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    I have documented species of dromaeosaurid evolving while waiting for OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:37 No.9887654
    >>9887601 implying this is a real story
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:38 No.9887671

    and that required a sage why?
    >> Yelling Guy !YEllaNhDoY 05/18/10(Tue)00:39 No.9887677
    My cock is hard liek rock for OP. Conteenju.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:39 No.9887688
    When will people figure it out?
    You write out the story, THEN you post it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:39 No.9887691
    Finally, Gavin suggested an ultimatum. Jill and Emma would get to choose who they have sex with, and the remaining two guys would have to figure out what to do by themselves. Nick opposed this idea, and I did as well at first, but after some thinking, I decided that it was the best plan. With Jill's approval, Nick had no choice but to give in. With all of us agreeing that we'd respect Jill's decision, we waited as she considered her options.

    Unsurprisingly, she chose Gavin.

    I had watched the first season of survivor, and I knew that one of the principle strategies was to vote off anyone who would be competition. Nick had impressed everyone in the earlier trial, so he had no chance of getting assistance from anyone to go to the next round. Then, between Gavin and me, I think anyone would take their chances against the straight-forward fat guy instead of the mysterious copycat.

    As Jill and Gavin moved into a different room, I moved over towards Nick, who recoiled. He said he was going to wait for Emma, to see if she would choose him. I told him straight up that I knew that Mike and Emma were having sex right now, despite being brother and sister. It made too much sense, in that not only were they helping each other go towards the five million, they were also preventing other people from advancing to the next trial. I then told him that I had a plan.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:40 No.9887697
    You... I...
    I wonder what my Dark Heresy party would say to this....
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:40 No.9887698
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:40 No.9887700
         File1274157616.jpg-(216 KB, 600x400, 1271621978985.jpg)
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    any time now.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:40 No.9887704
    Will OP deliver? Will a wonderful story be told? Will the narrator win 5 million dollars? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:43 No.9887733
    A Dorito chip cut the inside of my mouth a bit while I waited for OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:43 No.9887737

    Hmm... At this point I'm wondering whether I should bring my fapping apparel from under the bed.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:43 No.9887746
    You mean your robe and wizard hat?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:44 No.9887754

    And tissues and hand cream. And the keyboard cover.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:44 No.9887759
    probably an inflatable goat and a gimp suit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:44 No.9887765
    Have to be of sound mind for a will you make to be legal.

    Claim his stuff per capita.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:45 No.9887771

    Fake or not, I like these stories.

    But seriously, next time, write it out then post.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:45 No.9887774
    This is going to end in either a Bel-Air or the Monster Mash.

    Calling it now.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:45 No.9887775
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:45 No.9887776
    I am now imagining a super hero costume. Except for...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:46 No.9887781
    inb4 Bel-Air
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:46 No.9887784

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:47 No.9887801
         File1274158021.jpg-(49 KB, 367x268, Hedonism_Bot.jpg)
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    Fake or incredibly fake, yes they can be entertaining.
    >> Yelling Guy !YEllaNhDoY 05/18/10(Tue)00:48 No.9887820
    SecretOP here, just kidding. That's it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:48 No.9887822
    Five million dollars is a lot of money. It's enough to make people do crazy, insane things. Having sex with cousins who you've just met is one of them. Convincing your cousin to help you rape another cousin is another.

    It happened very quickly. Nick didn't even hesitate after hearing my plan. We went to the room where Gavin and Jill hadn't even started undressing, and we opened the unlocked door like we were hitmen protagonists in an action flick. Just a straight forward "push open the door, march in, and shoot." Nick didn't even wait for her to turn around, and shot Jill straight in the back with the taser, the two barbs pushing through her shirt and electrocuting her. She dropped to the floor hard, completely incapacitated.

    Gavin didn't go down quite so easily.

    I hit him squarely in the chest, Perhaps it's because of his weight/fat, but the taser seemed to have less of an effect on him. He shouted, and dropped to the ground, but he kept moving, and seemed like he was about to get up. Nick was busy getting Jill to inhale through the ether soaked rag, so I just went ahead and stomped down on Gavin's head. I moved my foot away before Nick turned to see what had made the sound, and I quickly blocked his view of Gavin's head as I started to tie him up with the rope.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:49 No.9887843
         File1274158169.jpg-(73 KB, 312x413, rapefacedave.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:51 No.9887877
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:51 No.9887879
    It will turn out that the author is gay. SOLUTION!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:53 No.9887903
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:53 No.9887904
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:54 No.9887912
    If it ends up being good, maybe. We'll see.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:54 No.9887914
    No, it should not.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:54 No.9887915
    I'm guessing the author now tazes the guy he teamed up with, and rapes him.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:54 No.9887924
         File1274158469.jpg-(721 KB, 1200x1198, DrFluffykins.jpg)
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    The kitten is counting on you to continue.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:54 No.9887927
    I'm about to call this thread dildos and leave, shit is taking too long. They rape the chick, 1 anal, 1 vaginal and then his grandfather busts through the wall going "OHHH YEEAAAAAAAAAA"
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:54 No.9887928

    looks like it's time for DOUBLE TEAM ACTION
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:55 No.9887942
    This story will go in one of two directions:

    Serious writefaggan



    Make your bets now
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:56 No.9887952
    Betting lolsosrsguize
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:56 No.9887966

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:56 No.9887967
         File1274158615.jpg-(71 KB, 735x900, cry.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:57 No.9887971
    Xiombarg would definitely approve. She would probably be watching and nudging Nyarlahotep in the ribs while giggling as well.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:58 No.9887983
    When I had finished, I moved over to Jill, and bound her legs and arms. Nick and I moved her onto the bed, and then stood there for a little bit longer than I expected.

    There was an obscenely uncomfortable silence. Probably the most uncomfortable of uncomfortable silences that ever has been or could be. The two of us, who were practically strangers, were standing above the unconscious form of our cousin, who would soon be raped by us in order for us to continue to compete for some money willed to us by an insane millionaire.

    Then, I realized it.

    Nick was hesitating.

    I was hesitating too, but mostly just from a unnaturally keen sense of appreciation for faux pas. Aside from my strange urge to appreciate the wrongness of the moment, I hadn't moved because I realized we hadn't decided the turn order.

    He wasn't moving because he was having second thoughts.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:58 No.9887991
         File1274158700.jpg-(50 KB, 300x300, david-caruso.jpg)
    50 KB
    Oh, I think there'll be some SERIOUS rape.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:59 No.9888007
         File1274158755.png-(25 KB, 244x246, YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH.png)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)00:59 No.9888009
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:00 No.9888018
    Thats what we waited 10min for? waste of time. Thread=dildoes.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:00 No.9888022
    Thank you. I'll be saving that pic now.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:00 No.9888026
    Not real but,

    Any will with clearly unenforceable terms in respect to legality (or rather illegality) will be made, well, unenforceable.

    Real people would've found another way to split the old coot's money WITHOUT raping their cousins.

    But far be it from me to stop the entertainment.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:00 No.9888032
         File1274158850.jpg-(15 KB, 300x200, Smiley.jpg)
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    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)01:01 No.9888042
    Cool story bro. My Great Grandfather's middle name was Perfecto."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:02 No.9888049
         File1274158947.jpg-(30 KB, 500x400, 1266297619601.jpg)
    30 KB
    Meh. This isn't anywhere near on par with the house of leaves of trolling.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:02 No.9888056

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:03 No.9888061
         File1274158983.gif-(12 KB, 323x301, 2005-08-06_040536_018_fry-argh.gif)
    12 KB
    This is too exciting. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
    >> OP Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:04 No.9888080
    successful troll is successful
    >> Mayor Jim Suttle !OMAHa/k25s 05/18/10(Tue)01:04 No.9888081
         File1274159042.jpg-(24 KB, 208x210, typical.jpg)
    24 KB
    >implying anyone thinks this is serious
    >> Mayor Jim Suttle !OMAHa/k25s 05/18/10(Tue)01:05 No.9888104
         File1274159132.jpg-(113 KB, 298x403, waiting for op.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:05 No.9888112
    f5ing like the fist of the north star
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:06 No.9888139
    OP types one word per 38 seconds.

    Holy Fuck, OP you type slower than an elderly woman with Alzheimer.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:07 No.9888150
    On with it!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:09 No.9888173
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:09 No.9888179
    I broke the silence by being courteous. Since he had helped me in the previous trial, I offered him the chance to go first. When I said the word "first," Nick visibly flinched. I almost wanted to roll my eyes at that point.

    He explained that he was a virgin, and he didn't want his first to be like this, and that he hadn't really thought this thing all the way through, and blah blah blah. I told him that this was for five million dollars, and that the only difference is that instead of her and Gavin, it would be her and us. In fact, we probably did her a favor, since she won't even remember any of it.

    Nick didn't answer. I told him that if he had such a problem with it, he didn't have to do it. I told him that in any case, he could go ahead a leave the room, as I would be going first. He tried to say something, but ended up just leaving.

    I locked the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:09 No.9888185
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:10 No.9888197
    fuck yeaah.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:10 No.9888203
    Then OP became a Rapeguard and won at life.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:10 No.9888204
    inb4 "It was all his idea" betrayal
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:11 No.9888209
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:11 No.9888219
         File1274159515.jpg-(104 KB, 443x966, 1269363141475.jpg)
    104 KB
    photo/artwork dump to pass the time
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:12 No.9888224
         File1274159523.jpg-(36 KB, 640x480, waiting.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:12 No.9888234
         File1274159550.jpg-(283 KB, 1000x667, Road.jpg)
    283 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:13 No.9888253
         File1274159602.jpg-(870 KB, 1680x1050, 1268176127105.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:13 No.9888255

    comeoncomeoncomeon gimme the chocolate
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:14 No.9888265
         File1274159650.jpg-(136 KB, 560x1477, 1_out_of_3.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:14 No.9888266
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:14 No.9888273
         File1274159670.jpg-(321 KB, 972x1509, 1256277859944.jpg)
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    found this
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:15 No.9888289
         File1274159713.jpg-(421 KB, 969x1509, 1256277884148.jpg)
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    jesus fuck OP is slow
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:15 No.9888295
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    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/18/10(Tue)01:16 No.9888298
    Good god. This is awesome~
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:16 No.9888306
         File1274159791.jpg-(339 KB, 966x1509, 1256277983034.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:17 No.9888318
         File1274159822.jpg-(1.41 MB, 1280x960, untitled_7_by_Peterio.jpg)
    1.41 MB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:17 No.9888327
         File1274159851.jpg-(385 KB, 1280x1024, criminalscum.jpg)
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    In b4
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:17 No.9888330

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:17 No.9888331
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:18 No.9888337

    read this while waiting for op, folks
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:19 No.9888353
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:19 No.9888354
         File1274159955.png-(186 KB, 918x613, bros_before_hoes.png)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:19 No.9888364
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:20 No.9888371
    what are these from anon?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:20 No.9888380
         File1274160058.jpg-(1.36 MB, 1167x1485, Bo-Bodvarsson.jpg)
    1.36 MB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:21 No.9888387
         File1274160083.gif-(12 KB, 100x100, F5.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:22 No.9888398
         File1274160149.jpg-(16 KB, 209x320, 1235950956968.jpg)
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    can you give a link?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:22 No.9888399
    This reminded me of dragon ball z abridged and I went to watch it on youtube. Good stuff.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:22 No.9888400
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:23 No.9888405

    what the heck is the house of leaves of trolling.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:23 No.9888413
         File1274160213.jpg-(1.09 MB, 1680x1050, 1268172870285.jpg)
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    /x/ somewhere. Dunno if there's moar
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:24 No.9888423
    Five million dollars is a lot of money. While I was in that room, raping an unconscious girl who was missing both her earlobes, trying my hardest to finish up quickly, I could only think about whether or not I should let Nick rape her as well. I wasn't thinking about preserving that sense of decency he had about him, I was thinking about removing the competition.

    If I let him rape her, the only person who would be eliminated from this round would be Gavin, which means that this round would do little to shorten this tourney. And, if my guess is correct, my grandfather is going to make the next trial even more horrible.

    It's strange. Usually, no one ever tells you that might get philosophical in the middle of rape. I've seen in some movies people get deep, philosophical thoughts when they're killing other people, but not with rape. I was lying on top of the poor girl, only our pants lowered just enough, me thrusting into her unresponsive body, and I started to wonder whether or not this trial really was that horrible. No, not that I was enjoying it, but that it was the people within the trial that made it horrible. Yes, they provided us with the tools to rape, but it was we that had chosen to use them.

    As I contemplated the deep horrors of humanity, I ejaculated inside of her.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:24 No.9888435
    And this is why you write the story first, THEN post.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:24 No.9888436

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:25 No.9888445
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:26 No.9888462


    precog answer
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:27 No.9888473
    I'm betting he's writing two or three full posts for each block he actually posts, and will put it all up at once when he's done.

    I'm an optimist.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:27 No.9888476
    and that's all I have for now. good night /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:28 No.9888491
    Good night.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:28 No.9888496
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:28 No.9888501
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888502

    The ultimate troll.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888507
    Definitely amusing for the Goddess of Chaos.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888508
    Bitch is totally gonna get all his money for child support.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888511

    fuck you
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888512

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888514

    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888516

    Not the OP's post style, I don't believe this is actually him.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:29 No.9888517
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:30 No.9888526
    OP, presuming you're not actually >>9888476, either start writing a few short sentences, or else send out a warm-up act between sets.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:30 No.9888540
         File1274160659.jpg-(30 KB, 392x300, 789_CoolFace.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:31 No.9888550
         File1274160686.jpg-(2 KB, 115x126, Pleased.jpg)
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    >No, not that I was enjoying it, but that it was the people within the trial that made it horrible. Yes, they provided us with the tools to rape, but it was we that had chosen to use them.
    >As I contemplated the deep horrors of humanity, I ejaculated inside of her.

    I made this exact face.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:32 No.9888555
         File1274160722.jpg-(28 KB, 475x320, putinstare.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:32 No.9888563
    Cousin rape. Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:33 No.9888577
    The mention of the missing earlobes made me howl, admittedly.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:34 No.9888584
    It is illegal to marry your first cousin in 24 states.

    Think about that.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:34 No.9888588
    Hey! There's a new episode. Sweet.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:35 No.9888593
    Everyone in Britain are first-cousins. Think about that.
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)01:35 No.9888597

    >Implying it IS legal in 26 states

    I... WHAT?!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:36 No.9888627
    I only then realized that all of this was on camera. Which is fine, I guess, considering that the first trail already had plenty of lawbreaking going on, so I didn't really fear any legal ramifications. The thing that bothered me was that someone might be getting some sick pleasure out of all this.

    I then remembered that I hadn't decided about whether or not I should let Nick rape her. Checking my watch, there was still about twenty minutes left. If I just kept this door locked, I would eliminate him from these trials. He seemed smart, and was capable of at least tasering a person with the intent to rape them, so he was definitely not an opponent I wanted to continue facing. If it was only me, Jill, Mike, and Emma, I think I could basically come out on top of whatever trial would come next.

    However, Nick was a wild card. He threatened my chances for the five million, and right now I had more than sealed my conviction in getting it. But, despite all that, I realized that I felt somewhat indebted to him for inadvertantly helping me in the first trial. I almost felt like I should at least give him the choice, to believe that he would make the "right" one, and he'd be able to go home, knowing that even if he doesn't have five million dollars, he at least has his integrity.

    Realizing how dumb that would be, I started to barricade the door.
    >> Crix !!RpOLjtsjwNS 05/18/10(Tue)01:36 No.9888629
         File1274161011.gif-(43 KB, 400x522, reisen surprised.gif)
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    >As I contemplated the deep horrors of humanity, I ejaculated inside of her.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:37 No.9888634
    The Brits also refer to bands in the plural.

    That's just what I heard. Go ahead and quote me on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:37 No.9888639

    What are these from? They're disturbingly inspiring, to say the least...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:37 No.9888640
    Even then, it's only first cousins in about half.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:38 No.9888656
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)01:38 No.9888658

    What'd I tell you easily-trolled faggots?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:40 No.9888690
         File1274161205.gif-(1002 KB, 243x226, 1268006258926.gif)
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    I made this face.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:40 No.9888700
    >Everyone in Britain are first-cousins
    Where the hell are you pulling this from? There are plenty of people I know that aren't even the same RACE as me, and I'm fairly sure I'd know if everyone white I met was only a single generation away from me.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:40 No.9888701
         File1274161246.jpg-(133 KB, 513x576, 1220801695564.jpg)
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    >As I contemplated the deep horrors of humanity, I ejaculated inside of her.
    Beautiful, poetic and somewhat terrifying at the same time...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:41 No.9888721
    if this isn't copypasta and is some original writefaggotry, I wish you'd take the advice given to countless writefags before you: type your shit out beforehand, so this bullshit doesn't take forever
    >> !ApNwvTMfag 05/18/10(Tue)01:43 No.9888766
    Oh god, leaving in 10 min or so...Better hurry up OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:44 No.9888784
         File1274161496.png-(267 KB, 597x1014, Rape is so romantic.png)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:46 No.9888807
         File1274161561.jpg-(36 KB, 400x270, 1265950459979.jpg)
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    im betting this story will end in either bel-air, a cliffhanger or some variant of the two
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:46 No.9888817
         File1274161597.jpg-(7 KB, 206x237, 1272159537394.jpg)
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    >Better hurry up OP
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:47 No.9888829
         File1274161651.jpg-(17 KB, 251x249, 1274030736925.jpg)
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    Goddammit OP, I have a final in 7 hours and I need to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:48 No.9888853
         File1274161705.gif-(151 KB, 614x461, catgypsy.gif)
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    sooooooooooo slow
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:49 No.9888875
         File1274161795.jpg-(80 KB, 508x449, Ball bounce - 4 leaf girl.jpg)
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    Have some yotsuba to cheer you up
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:50 No.9888878

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:51 No.9888902
    He came knocking when there was only fifteen minutes left. I told him I hadn't finished yet. He seemed pacified, but told me to hurry up. Three minutes later, he comes back and he's knocking on the door hard, telling me to hurry the fuck up. I tell him I'm not done yet. He doesn't believe me.

    He starts pounding on the door, and I start to actually worry about it. Even though it's reinforced with the bedframe, I end up pushing against it myself just to make sure it holds. He starts calling me names, like double-crosser and betrayer and just general insults, but I just keep trying to calmly tell him it's hard to sex with an unconcious girl. I tell him my concience is acting up. I lie and lie and lie and lie, but he just keeps trying to break his way in.

    With five minutes left, he stops. I keep myself against the door just in case, but he doesn't come back. I watch the seconds on my watch go by, until finally the hour comes and goes.

    I opened the door, and met Mr. Black in the living room. He told me that I'll be driven home, and that I'm expected at the next trial in 2 days.

    I asked him who else made it.

    He told me that aside from me and Jill, Nick and Emma also qualified. However, due to a secret clause, only I had actually managed to pass the trial.

    Other questions aside, I asked him what the final trial is for then, if I'm the only one left.

    He simply says that the will doesn't instruct him to answer me, so he won't.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:51 No.9888906
    What, and miss out on dozens of F5'ing anons clamoring for more, a writefag's sweetest nectar?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:51 No.9888909
    And then the lobeless wonder won the 5 million. Turns out Nick got in a fight with the sister fucker, and none of them finished. I went to jail, because I didn't consider how band an idea killing Gavin (yep, dead as a doornail) was. I mean, it's not like I get a pass just because I'm in some sadists version of Double Dare.

    Anyway, I'm in jail now. I get to spend some time in the "computer lab" (tiny ass little room with four PCs off the prison library) as part of my work training rehabilitation. A retard could pass the training, so I try to squeeze as much real internet time in between quizzes as possible.

    I may not have the 5 million, but at least I know it's not making Jill any happier. Rape does that to a person.

    G'night tg!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:52 No.9888921
    >The thing that bothered me was that someone might be getting some sick pleasure out of all this.

    Uh-oh, Gramps is alive.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:52 No.9888922
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:52 No.9888928

    Ah, the rest used condoms.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:53 No.9888939

    Do you people even try?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:53 No.9888949
         File1274162032.png-(20 KB, 400x399, 1273108465445.png)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:54 No.9888954
    Jill would have won too. Rape was probably required, which means only half or less the people who actually had sex could have won.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:55 No.9888967
    Not really.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:55 No.9888983
    Or you had to be cognizant.

    Nick getting it in and done with in 5 minutes might be a clue.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:57 No.9889004

    >how band an idea

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:57 No.9889014


    fucking smashed
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:57 No.9889015
    Think they'll also solve mysteries?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:57 No.9889018
    I wonder how Jill didn't pass.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:59 No.9889039
    Lobeless wonder is Jill.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:59 No.9889040
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)01:59 No.9889045

    because she didn't ejaculate inside someone. it's impossible for girl's to ejaculate INSIDE someone like the trial's rules said. OP was the only one who truly came inside someone. Nick used a condom.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:00 No.9889061

    > "Sex" would be defined as ejaculating into someone, or being ejaculated into
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889069
    This went from interesting to painfully stupid in one post, OP. You've wasted our time.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889072
    >The rules were simple. "Sex" would be defined as ejaculating into someone, or being ejaculated into.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889073
    To be honest I'm surprised the OP didn't just taze and ether everyone, then have his way with whichever girl he preferred, and know that nobody else could even qualify.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889076
    >The rules were simple. "Sex" would be defined as ejaculating into someone, or being ejaculated into.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889078

    Into or on.

    Personally, I would have just whipped it out jizzed on someone.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889084
    You pass by cumming in somebody or being cummed inside.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889085
    So, you, as a male, could be raped by your sister or female cousin.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:01 No.9889089
    Well ejaculating in a condom whilst inside a vagina/anus is still ejaculating while inside someone.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889091

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889093
    >Nick getting it in and done with in 5 minutes
    OP probably meant Mike

    >I wonder how Jill didn't pass.
    Well, she was mentioned as "qualified" but didn't pass. Probably because she was out. On the other hand, since nameless OP assaulted one cousin, raped another, and betrayed another, any of those things set him apart.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889100
    Hey now, OP might have a reasonable explanation, unlike that chucklefuck.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889101
    >Raped by my sister/female cousin

    Why am I intensely aroused by this?

    The cousin aspect moreso.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889107
    Ok, I get it.

    Jill wasn't concious and thus didn't have a wet orgasm to spill her juices inside OP's protagonist's dick.

    Nick and Emma used a condom. No jizz in each other.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889108
    The two days between the trials were a blur. My wife seemed to ask a lot more questions than usual, and I somehow had a lot fewer answers. I skipped work, and just tried to relax, which ended up being counterproductive, as free time and over-thinking things tend to go hand in hand.

    Secret clause? I couldn't think of what it could be. It couldn't have been just the fact that I was willing to rape a girl. If my guess was correct, Nick managed to break all sorts of records by managing to rape Emma within the span of 5 minutes. Of course, with so little time remaining, Emma could have been willing, but I doubt Nick was in much of a mood to ask her permission.

    My only guess was that it had something to do with either the way I stomped Gavin's head, or the way I barricaded myself in. These were the only two things I could think of that I did differently than Nick, and I don't really like the way either of them sound as a being the deciding factor of a secret clause.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:02 No.9889111
    couldn't you use the enema kit to ejaculate inside yourself?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:04 No.9889142
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:05 No.9889148
    this man is brilliant
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:05 No.9889153
    And OP answers our questions, sort of, but doesn't advance the story.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:05 No.9889158
    I wouldn't risk it - if that didn't count, then you're out.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:05 No.9889160


    He's right.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:05 No.9889167
    Nick and the brother probably used condoms and thus did not pass, though they still qualified.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:05 No.9889168
    Last 50 posts - I'm going to use these whenever I'm on a rape trial or something
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:06 No.9889170
    You have to rape. The brother-sister pair had consensual sex. Boom they're out.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:06 No.9889176
    Well fuck
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:06 No.9889180
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    You are the greatest mind of this age
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:07 No.9889198
         File1274162846.gif-(87 KB, 720x278, Cheetos.gif)
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    You need to form an alliance with Cheetometheous
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:07 No.9889200

    Holy shit it's like eating your own head!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:08 No.9889217
    Unless it has to be rape, then you'd have to rape yourself somehow. And what if you're a woman? You'd still have to rape someone else anyways.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:08 No.9889227
    not really. it doesn't let you put your dick in your ass, just cum in a tube thats connected to your ass. If I were was Mr. Black I'd so no to it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:08 No.9889228

    never change /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:09 No.9889233
    lol, tazer everyone else then ejaculate inside yourself, bam you win!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:09 No.9889237
    the only problem is what is exactly entailed by "ejaculate inside" IF it's ejaculate while inside. then no dice. But if it's Leave your ejaculate inside of someone then yes it would work. So if the condom thing is what made the others fail, this would work. IF it was the rape thing that made OP pass then no.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:10 No.9889266

    I would, because of the humiliation. And the thing was being taped - shit would be going on YouTube.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:10 No.9889268

    If you're going to tazer everyone else anyway just pick the weakest person there and assfuck them to death.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:11 No.9889278
    >"Sex" would be defined as ejaculating into someone, or being ejaculated into

    I would say no, because you have to ejaculate into the kit, then put the semen into your ass. That would probably count as neither.

    Put I suppose it's possible to somehow get the enema tube up your urethra and come into the bag, which is already attached to your butt. Still, I can't imagine producing enough semen to have it flow in naturally. those bags hold a lot, and the pressure of one ejaculation wouldn't be great enough.

    It's too bad oral sex doesn't count, because certain people can give themselves head.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:12 No.9889298
    not /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:12 No.9889311

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:12 No.9889316
    You are the biggest faggot to have ever faggoted.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:13 No.9889337



    >> faggot Yelling Guy !YEllaNhDoY 05/18/10(Tue)02:14 No.9889341
    NO ME D:
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:15 No.9889359

    Haven't seen anything relating to anal circumference yet, can't be.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:15 No.9889360
    What are you talking about? It's clearly a game. And what's more traditional than making your kids do silly things with your will?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:15 No.9889364
    I don't know, he might not be one of the one's advocating cumming in one's own ass...
    But faggotry is still faggotry.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:17 No.9889413

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:18 No.9889426
    Sure it is. It's going to end with "So now that I have the money, I'm thinking that I might just be able to afford a 40k army if I tighten my belt for a while. What's /tg/'s recommendations?"
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:19 No.9889436
    winrar is you. I really hope this is the ending.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:19 No.9889441
    Autosage is 300 replies now.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:19 No.9889447
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:21 No.9889465
    Fuck you

    come on OP we Must know how it finishes!
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:22 No.9889485
    I'm calling it now, last challenge is eating all the bits and pieces that were cut off in the first challenge.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:22 No.9889487
    Final test is going to be eating his own dick. Calling it now.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:22 No.9889494
    cum on OP we must know how it finishes!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:22 No.9889498
    I just played through an entire, long multi-part flash game in the time it took you to write half of this.
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:23 No.9889507

    How will ejaculating on the OP make him post faster?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:24 No.9889518

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:24 No.9889525
    hiss at penis
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:24 No.9889535
    You'd have to cum IN the OP against their will without a condom for it to count it seems.
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:25 No.9889537

    Is the OP a cat?!
    >> Mahou Shoujo Beautiful Sanguine Muse 05/18/10(Tue)02:27 No.9889569
    No, the OP is obviously Robert Jordan.

    He died.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:27 No.9889575
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:27 No.9889580
    i haven't laughed so hard in ages, and i suggested cumming in your own ass.

    One million internets to you anon.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:28 No.9889589
    Damnit OP, I'm going to sleep.

    Thread better still be here in the morning.

    ... Interesting stuff though, I suppose.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:28 No.9889596
    The day of the final trial came, and I was driven to a cemetery. It looked ancient, and was a good distance away from the town it was a part of.

    Mr. Black stood at the gates waiting for me. He explained that the rules of this trial were very simple.

    "Six wings, Six shots."

    He then casually stepped into the car I had just exited, and drove away, leaving me confused and alone. I could only guess that it was some sort of stupid riddle, and that the cemetery would hold some sort of clue about it.

    I began to wander inside of it, not at all surprised that there was no one else there. I looked at the weathered gravestones, looking for six wings but finding nothing more than barely legible names of people who were long forgotten.

    After some time, I had wandered towards a large dark elm in the far corner of the cemetery, it's large roots having shifted and distorted the gravestones around it. Casually, in a way that though I was not expecting it it did not surprise me, two people came out from behind the tree.

    They were a young woman who was pushing a very, very old man in a wheelchair. He looked more like a skeleton with green-tinted skin painted on then a living person, but the way his chest heaved with each breath gave proof of his life. He did not bother to open his eyes, and addressed me in a surprising firm tone.

    He asked me if I knew who he was.
    He asked if I knew why I was here.
    I simply answered no.

    He chuckled (or he rattled, whichever you prefer), and told me that I reminded him of his grandson.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:28 No.9889599
    too soon bro, too soon :(
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:29 No.9889613
    Op never had more than 11 minutes between posts, it's already been almost 30, so I doubt we'll see any more
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:30 No.9889620
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:30 No.9889623
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:30 No.9889630
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:30 No.9889632
    Robert Jordan's grandson actually.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:30 No.9889634
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:31 No.9889637
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:33 No.9889680

    He either has to kill his grandfather or his grandfather set it up so to kill him.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:34 No.9889705
    Do you normally explain obvious shit?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:34 No.9889710
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:35 No.9889733
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    inb4 this is the plotline to metal gear solid 5
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:35 No.9889738
    You are now aware that if the girls had outnumbered the guys in the second test, they would have had to fight amongst themselves to see which of them would get to rape the guys.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:36 No.9889753

    Yes, it's how I get my kicks, if you know what I mean.

    I mean that I like to troll people.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:36 No.9889754
    Yes he's like the guys on Star Trek that explain Kirk's plan in simple English right after Kirk announces it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:36 No.9889756
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:36 No.9889760

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:37 No.9889765

    >implying it is possible to rape a guy
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:37 No.9889766
    They could take turns. Death by snoosnoo.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:37 No.9889770
    You are ten kinds of retarded. There is a REPLY LIMIT. The "purpose" of saging is to post in a thread while preventing your post from bumping it. That is ALL it does. Nothing more, nothing less.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:38 No.9889791
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:38 No.9889794

    I get that you want to minimise the number of people advancing, but you can fuck more than one person.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:38 No.9889802
    Not enough time for the guys to recharge.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:39 No.9889818
    How would they make it rape if you're ok with it?

    (You don't want to know).
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:39 No.9889822
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    Best post in thread
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:39 No.9889826
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:39 No.9889831
    >Implying I can't ejaculate more than once in less than an hour
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/18/10(Tue)02:40 No.9889840
         File1274164804.jpg-(14 KB, 375x361, Ruby stare.jpg)
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    It is possible to rape the willing.

    Trust me.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:40 No.9889844
    An average of 9 percent of rape victims are men.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:40 No.9889852
    maybe not for you bro
    >> faggot Yelling Guy !YEllaNhDoY 05/18/10(Tue)02:40 No.9889856
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:40 No.9889865

    By definition, if you're willing, it's not rape.

    So, no.
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:41 No.9889871

    Want to know a little secret?

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:41 No.9889879
    Hence, the "(You don't want to know.)".
    >> Yelling Guy !YEllaNhDoY 05/18/10(Tue)02:41 No.9889886
    >I don't know what rape is please rape my face
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:41 No.9889892

    except for those times when it means yes :3
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:43 No.9889915
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:43 No.9889922
    Maybe OP is testing us and here we are, talking about RAPE...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:44 No.9889929

    Not if we're using it as part of a euphemism, no. On the other hand, if we're using the literal meaning, then yes.

    Unless we're talking about statutory rape, in which case fuck you.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:44 No.9889946
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:45 No.9889962
    You forgot to mention the part where their goods were chopped off right before being raped, making them effectively girls while being raped.(the 9% are the ones that had the goods reattached afterward)
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:46 No.9889979
    Yes, except you're wrong. It's a bump limit. After that, you can still reply, it just doesn't bump the thread anymore. If you post with sage, it doesn't count towards that.
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:47 No.9889997

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:47 No.9890009
         File1274165266.jpg-(303 KB, 503x576, 1273301982055.jpg)
    303 KB
    Let's kill some time.

    I'm playing Baldur's Gate 2. Again.

    If I want Sarevok in my party (which I do for dialogue/interaction purposes), that means the party maxes out at 5 people. I am a mage (necromancy). I definitely want to take Imoen and I'm romancing Jaheira (haven't done so yet, because it's kinda creepy). Minsc is coming by default.

    Who do I take as my last character?
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:48 No.9890019

    Steve the rape chimp.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:48 No.9890025
    Actually, yes, sage does count towards the reply limit. It simply doesn't bump the post. That is all.

    I do not understand how people can be on here for years and still not know this fact.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:49 No.9890036

    Take Viconia. Best cleric in the game.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:49 No.9890059
    Romancing Jaheira, that won't end well.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:50 No.9890061
    dis man speaks da truff
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:50 No.9890064
    op hurry the fuck up
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:50 No.9890074
    >There is no such thing as statutory
    Boy, are you in for a rude awakening!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:50 No.9890082
    why? all you need to do is not romance viconia
    >> Alpharius 05/18/10(Tue)02:50 No.9890090
    Aaaaand we're out of bumps.

    This next post had better be a fucking doozy of a conclusion, OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:51 No.9890097
    I'm partial to Aerie.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:51 No.9890104
    It ends a hell of a lot better than when I romanced Viconia in the epilogue.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:52 No.9890129
    Take Edwin and Viconia. Dump Edwin after you get Sarevok. That's if you are playing through from the beginning and not ToB.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:53 No.9890154
    Nice I'm doing my 2nd playthrough now first was Kensai/mage this time I'm doing F/M multiclass, this game is so awesome, when is part 3 coming out.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:53 No.9890156
    I know this is going to sound silly, but I have 2 mages after I get Immy back (Jan is currently a placeholder for her). I honestly don't want that many mages.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:55 No.9890189
    Oh fuck.
    What if >>9889680
    was OP.
    That was him saying fuck this noise.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:55 No.9890195
    Damn you op, I hope you get carpal tunnel
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 05/18/10(Tue)02:55 No.9890196
    If the thread is archived, will it continue to be updated until it finishes? Or only archived up to this point?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:56 No.9890221
    Understandable, but if you are keeping the old party together, might as well keep the old party together. What about the faggy ranger guy? Valygar or something? Maybe Keldorn? Paladin of smite-your-shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:56 No.9890225
    I dunno, but I just saved everything to a text file, and will repost the entire story in hopes OP comes back.
    >> HDA 05/18/10(Tue)02:57 No.9890234
    Someone has to manually update it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:57 No.9890237
    OP doesn't exist.

    All this is a shared delusion.

    There are only 3 on 4chan.

    You, me and the other guy.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:57 No.9890243
    Get Keldorn. The man fucking rocks.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:57 No.9890249
    Every 2 hours.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:58 No.9890253
    which is me
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:58 No.9890260
    He told me I had actually disappointed him a little. He had been expecting a much more dramatic finish. In fact, it would have been a novel worthy ending if the trials had continued.

    I had no idea what he was talking about.

    He explained that he had been hoping for a sibling showdown as the climax. But, I had shown to be a more suitable candidate than Nick had been.

    Footsteps came from behind me, and I wheeled around. I at first thought I was looking at Nick, but I quickly realized that this man was much older. Dressed in a dark suit with small gold accents, he was the embodiment of imposing refinement. The old man introduced his grandson, Noah, the successor of his company.

    Noah continued to approach me, until we stood barely a foot apart from each other. I turned back to face the old man, who's head had tipped over, but continued to speak in the same powerful tone.

    Suddenly, things started to click. I had accidentally nudged my way into a tightly written scenario. A scenario where the younger brother in a privileged family overcomes hardships with ingenuity, and obtains confidence and strength through these trials. Not only had I nudged my way in, I had thrown it completely off track.

    Hell, I might have actually been eliminated in the first trial if it hadn't been for the order we all went in. Somehow, I had managed to completely distort how the second trial was expected to go, by helping push forward Gavin's ultimatum and convincing Nick to help rape Jill.

    Just as I had rewritten the scenario, the scenario was being rewritten for me.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:58 No.9890262

    It wasn't, it was me.


    I realise that doesn't tell you much.

    >I honestly don't want that many mages

    Why not? If this was BG, sure, because they weren't overpowered then, but this is the big leagues. Making every character you can a mage is a perfectly viable party.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:58 No.9890263
    The archive updates every two hours. As long as the thread doesn't 404 before it does the final update, we're good.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:58 No.9890269

    There's only three things on 4chan. You, me, and an AI that somehow managed to break the flood filter.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:58 No.9890271
    Wrong. It autoupdates every 2 hours; but you can manually update it too.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)02:59 No.9890282
    No big deal, the thread won't 404 until morning at earliest.
    >> fetts 05/18/10(Tue)03:00 No.9890310
    As a janitor for the archive, ill make sure it goes up if enough votes come in
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:03 No.9890375
    We have suptg archive that doesn't need votes

    You are not needed here
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:03 No.9890378
    Pretty sure you're lying about who you are.

    Even if you're not, you mean the 4chanarchive.org. We've already got this archived on suptg. You guys are cool though; sometimes suptg is down and there are threads that really should be saved.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:03 No.9890382

    I like where this plot is going.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:03 No.9890394

    "Insane Grandfather's Tests"
    >> fetts 05/18/10(Tue)03:05 No.9890419

    Yea, 4chanarchive. Never heard of suptg till right now.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 05/18/10(Tue)03:05 No.9890430
    Validating thread id.

    This can take a few seconds...
    Checking if the thread exists: >>9887349.html
    The thread has been found, continue processing.

    Thanks for your request.
    It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
    This thread has been requested 1 times now.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:11 No.9890560
    Read every thread on the highest voted page. I thoroughly recommend Kender Players Suck and Tyrone the Monk.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:13 No.9890588

    You're not going to romance Imoen?

    They have a huge mod on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:13 No.9890597
    Yeah, that's why we never bother with you guys' archive. Have you heard of the easymodo archive? It does a handful of pages, not just /tg/.
    >> fetts 05/18/10(Tue)03:15 No.9890628

    Gotta admit. Wish i knew of suptg earlier. Lots of great info on these pages
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:15 No.9890636
    >Implying I want to sniff my little sister's panties, who, might I add, has been raped and mentally scared by my arch nemesis.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:16 No.9890644

    If I remember correctly, that mod is fucking awful.

    Huge, but awful.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:16 No.9890649
    >implying you don't
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:17 No.9890666
    >protip, I don't
    >> Lace: The Crossdressing Rapist Promethean 05/18/10(Tue)03:17 No.9890667
    Sounds like my kind of game!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:17 No.9890672
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:19 No.9890701
    4chanarchive is shit. The
    >My face Pokemon LP
    Thread didn't get approved
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:19 No.9890702
    rapefics get the most replies
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:23 No.9890766
    The old man began explaining the "rules." I didn't really bother to listen, since it basically boiled down to Noah getting a gun while I run from him. As he rambled about the particular details, I began to self reflect.

    Deep down inside, I realized who I was. I was the grandson of a dirtbag rich guy who was willing to use his own family as extras in the cast of his personal little plays. In my veins flowed the blood of true scum.

    Scum so terrible, that they wouldn't even think twice about cutting off an old man's speech with a drop kick to the head.

    I landed wrong, since I'm not exactly a martial artist, but I didn't really need to do it right. The next breeze would have probably killed him if I hadn't, judging by the way his body literary snapped apart as I collided with him. No one had reacted yet, and I doubt even my own mind had caught up to my body, but only a second later bullets were flying through the air.

    I took shelter behind the tree, and suddenly realized how unfair the final trial would have been. Not only was Noah firing with some absolutely obscene gun that shook the tree with each shot, two other gunmen came out from behind graves and started to move towards a flanking position.

    I moved quickly into the graveyard, keeping low as bullets shattered apart tombstones. A few shards ended up in my arm, but I doubt I can really complain. The thing I can complain about is the bullet that took a fair bit off of my left shoulder, considering that it still hurts like a motherfucker every time I raise my left arm.

    I weaved through the tombstones, aiming for the Mausolea. I reached them, bleeding heavily from my arm and shoulder, when I noticed one with three Putto on the archway. I then saw that there was a cut lock on the ground in front of it, so I leapt inside.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:24 No.9890769
    Unfinished anything-fics get the most.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:25 No.9890805
    get on with it motherfucker
    >> Iron Lung 05/18/10(Tue)03:27 No.9890827
         File1274167634.gif-(2 MB, 203x384, Deny 4E jump rules.gif)
    2 MB
    >>about cutting off an old man's speech with a drop kick to the head.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:27 No.9890834
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    10 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:28 No.9890841
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    192 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:29 No.9890867
    OP if you don't finish this thread in the next ten minutes, I am going to flood your thread with furry porn.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:32 No.9890900
    been so long now im not even really interested any more... just staying cuz i need something else to do whilst reading the draconomicon...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:36 No.9890948
    op, it is like 2 A.M

    finish now!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:36 No.9890949
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:36 No.9890955
    op i know you wrote this out long ago, just hurry up and post the rest you faggot
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:37 No.9890969
    >I then saw that there was a cut lock on the ground in front of it, so I leapt inside.

    It's a trap!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:38 No.9890980
    Sitting plainly on a sarcophagus was some kind of gun. I wish I could tell you what kind it was, but I'll describe it to you.

    When Noah stepped into the doorway and I pulled the trigger, it cut off his head. The wound in his neck was so large, the head stayed on for about a second before it just tore what little bit of flesh and skin was holding it up and it dropped off his body.

    The two gun men came in to celebrate, thinking it was their boss that had made the shot. They lined up in the doorway, and time simply stopped. I had enough time to think "This is going to be awesome" before time started up again, and I pulled the trigger.

    I have to thank Mr. Black if I ever see him again, but he gave me four bullets too many. The last shot I took pierced straight through one man and into the next. I was expecting them to be thrown backwards, but they just slumped over slowly, blood in a steady stream coming out of the center of their chests.

    I felt the urge to chase down that lady attendant, but I'm sort of glad I didn't. I didn't even manage to make it out of the mausoleum before I passed out.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:39 No.9891009
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    38 KB
    changed my mind, depressing pokemon flood instead
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:40 No.9891013

    >When Noah stepped into the doorway and I pulled the trigger, it cut off his head.

    Where's the recoil?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:41 No.9891022
    I figured he just didn't mention it. Aunno.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:41 No.9891037

    you would do that a minute before I started...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:42 No.9891047
         File1274168553.png-(27 KB, 706x724, 1264149903722.png)
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    Forgot mah pokemon
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:42 No.9891050

    It's a special gun that uses inverse kinematic forces to revert the recoil back in the opposite direction, adding even MORE force to the launched projectile!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:43 No.9891066
    You have the dumb
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:43 No.9891067

    You think this story is real?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:43 No.9891068
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    11 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:44 No.9891079
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    106 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:45 No.9891089
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:45 No.9891090
    the gun summons a scyther
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:46 No.9891104
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:46 No.9891107

    Now your timer has been reset I'm guessing?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:46 No.9891117
    BRB, catching a cubone and naming it Norman.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:47 No.9891133
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    21 KB

    Depression has no timer
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:48 No.9891151
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:48 No.9891156
    I awoke much later, and was surprised to find my shoulder bandaged. Haphazardly and with some patterned cloth, but at least the bleeding had been stopped.

    I stumbled my way into the town, where I gave my wife a call. I told her I was going to visit a hospital, and that I'd be probably back sometime the next day.

    A week later, I got a letter in the mail.

    It contained a $50 gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond from an anonymous sender.

    It was all worth it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:48 No.9891158
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:49 No.9891163

    No, I think the story is inconsistant.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:50 No.9891168
    Fuck you OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:50 No.9891173
    Good end.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:50 No.9891174
         File1274169036.jpg-(21 KB, 396x301, 1265391219138.jpg)
    21 KB

    Not sure if serious, or OP...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:51 No.9891181
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:51 No.9891184
    Not sure if OP, but that's a good ending.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:54 No.9891212
    yah, that works as an ending. Although I think it was the Lawyer who bandaged him and sent him the B&B certificate (he probably hated working for those assholes)
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:54 No.9891218
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    62 KB
    Whatever, I need to go to bed so I can wake up in two hours and go to work. Fuck you OP, Fuck you.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:55 No.9891226
    I don't care if that's OP or not, glorious ending. Only way better would be if it were a Bel-Air
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:56 No.9891240
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    This thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:56 No.9891243
    I bet the lawyer and the attendant ran off with the money.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:56 No.9891244
    Ought to just stay up. Two hours of sleep will leave you a zombie, manning up will give you a shot of adrenaline to get you through the day.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:57 No.9891256
    I've thought that way. I've always proven myself wrong. Go with the two hours you can get.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)03:58 No.9891261

    They could, what with the rape vids as blackmail material and all.

    G'night /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)04:01 No.9891295
    i hope this wasn't op :*(
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)04:13 No.9891405
    This was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)04:16 No.9891457
    This is why when you're writefagging you should use a trip. Good thread nevertheless.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)04:39 No.9891706
    Fuck you, OP. Fuck you with a rake.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)04:51 No.9891830
    >didn't even manage to make it out of the mausoleum before I passed out.

    I think OP really did pass out
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)04:54 No.9891856
    Cool story, bro.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)05:06 No.9892003
    OP WRU?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)05:10 No.9892056
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    god damn dribble that last couple of updates, I hope you get ass cancer.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)05:21 No.9892177
    Still here. Story's done, though.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)05:29 No.9892265
    So that was the punchline?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)05:38 No.9892356
    >> Anonymous 05/18/10(Tue)05:38 No.9892357

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