Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1273177063.jpg-(63 KB, 300x300, magic_item.jpg)
    63 KB Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:17 No.9652953  
    ITT: Magical Items you really wouldn't want.

    I'll start:
    The Blazing Bowler:
    A regular looking bowler hat that immolates the wearer. It doesn't give you any resistance to fire or anything, it just sets you on fire.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:20 No.9652981
    The Homing Ring.

    If you put it on, all the wasps in your neighborhood see a massive STING ME sign over your head.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/06/10(Thu)16:21 No.9652993

    What the fuck are you talking about? I would wear that shit forever.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:23 No.9653020
    It's the HOTTEST new fashion of the season.

    The Ring of Arming:
    Wearing this ring causes all bladed objects in a two mile radius to become magnetically attracted to you. Intended as a way for someone to be able to arm themselves in a pinch, it more often than not results in pain and mutilation.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:23 No.9653021
    A scroll of Icarian flight. Unless I have a parachute, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:24 No.9653038
    attach to an arrow or sticky ball, throw at enemy
    Release the BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:25 No.9653040
    I love those. Aim for the sea.
    Or use slowfall, or read the other one before landing.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:25 No.9653041
    The Hero Belt:
    Wearing this belt will cause you to throw yourself into dangerous situations for the sake of being a hero. It does not grant you any bonuses, however.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:27 No.9653063
    Bracers of Nature's Rage.
    They give barbarian rage once a day.
    They also give off a very strong smell of a female bear in heat. Undetectable by the wearer.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:27 No.9653070
    Any magical item from FATAL.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:28 No.9653078
    Ring of the Blue Fairy
    Summons an immortal blue sprite that constantly follows you around screaming "Hey! Listen! Listen!"
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:29 No.9653099
    Are you joking? That'd be AWESOME.

    Just give it to someone you don't like.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:30 No.9653103
    Chain of Choking.

    It strangles you.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:32 No.9653134
    An amulet that will allow you transform into anything upon uttering a single phrase. However, it would be wise to turn into something capable of speaking English, otherwise you won't be able to change back.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:33 No.9653150
    Gloves of Midas
    The moment you put them on, anything the (exterior of the) gloves touch, gets turned into gold. You can not take the gloves off, and the gloves can not be destroyed.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:34 No.9653168
    So.... acquire infinite wealth, cut your hands off, regenerate? I'd like one of those...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:35 No.9653179
    OP u mad?

    i'd put that shit on my enemy after successfully making a grapple check
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:35 No.9653196
    An instrument that gives the user the ability to play better than any other creature on the planet. However, they can never stop playing.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:36 No.9653201
    Potion of Invisibility.

    Once used, everything becomes invisible to the user.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:36 No.9653205
    A really, REALLY powerful looking sword, >9k on detect magic. If anyone who casts a divination spell on it, it flies and impales the caster.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:37 No.9653212
    Endless Decanter with molten human fat.

    It's an Endless Decanter. With a portal inside, to the Plane of Molten Human Fat.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:37 No.9653217
    I'd wear it while scuba diving
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:38 No.9653229
    So I guess the blazing bowler is more useful than originally intended?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:39 No.9653250
    A mask that causes the wearer's face to painfully morph into an unusually large grin. After wearing the mask, the wearer is unable to change their face back.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:39 No.9653256
    Epic combo.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:39 No.9653258
    Face of the Ghost
    A mask that, when worn, makes the user permanently impossible to detect by any means, be it sound, vision or touch. The user can not interact with the world in any way, but can still see and hear.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:40 No.9653269
    A ring that makes you pass through any object.

    This includes the Earth.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:42 No.9653297
    Gloves of Holding.

    A pair of extremely comfortable gloves that, once worn, cannot be removed and will force the hands of the wearer to grab hold of the nearest person to them and not let go.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:43 No.9653317
    Ring of Sushi-Sushi
    When equipped it turns the user into a sushi roll, then after five minute de-equips, reversing the effect. Has uses, has lots more disadvantages.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:44 No.9653327
    Coral pendant: the wielder gains the ability to breath underwater; the wielder is also immobile
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:44 No.9653331
    What looks to be a 'Bag of Holding' is really a cursed bag that will devour any items stored inside it for more than a minute and violently regurgitate the remains at an inopportune time.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:45 No.9653351
    the cellphone my girlfriend texts me with
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:46 No.9653362
    Earring of Amplified Hearing.

    This magical earring will amplify the intensity of all sounds heard by the user, by 100x...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:47 No.9653378
    The Bombastic Battle-Axe:
    This enchanted axe may never be removed from one's person. It is mostly normal, except it causes the wielder to begin singing incredibly loudly at the most inopportune times. Using it in battle causes extremely loud music to play and pyrotechnics to light the room, seemingly from nowhere.

    Okay that actually would be kinda cool.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:48 No.9653389
    The Miracle of Mammon
    A magical coin. Speaking the right phrase will cause the coin to turn into 2 coins, which will after 24 hours turn into 4 coins each, which will after 12 hours turn into 8 coins each, which will after 6 hours turn into 16 coins each, which will after 3 hours turn into 32 coins each, and so on.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:49 No.9653394
    Appearing as a normal, mentholated throat lozenge, the Mystical Throat Lozenge Of The Alps is found
    hiding amongst numerous others mundane lozenges in a package of Ricola. Once inserted into the
    mouth, the Mystical Throat Lozenge Of The Alps is a royal pain in the ass to get rid of. It cannot be spat
    out, swallowed, or removed by physical means, insisting on providing an eternal soothing, vaporous
    sensation. The only way to actually rid oneself of the Mystical Throat Lozenge is to travel to the Swiss
    Alps and spit it out there. The lozenge will then roll in the direction of the nearest Ricola factory where it
    will sneak into another pack of lozenges and continue its cycle.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:49 No.9653401
    This would really improve my sex life.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:51 No.9653431
    that is amazing, assuming i can still interact with the mask...
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:51 No.9653438
    I fail to see a problem with this.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:52 No.9653444
    >permanently impossible to detect by any means
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:52 No.9653445
    The Cursed Dildo of Thaloth-Na
    Appears as a normal finely-crafted, purple, double-headed dildo. As soon as anyone touches it, it immediately comes to life and violently rapes the person for several hours.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:52 No.9653452


    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:52 No.9653456
    The user can not interact with the world in any way

    I assume this also means the mask...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:53 No.9653462
    It will after a while produce an infinite amount of coins every nanosecond. That's bad.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:53 No.9653465
    Because clearly creating exponential mass on earth wouldn't cause any kind of problems for humanity or life in general.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:53 No.9653469
    Eventually you have too many coins and the stupid thing won't stop duplicating, I guess.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:54 No.9653480
    BAH! You and your physics!
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:55 No.9653503
    oh wow, apparantly my reading skills suck beyond compare
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:56 No.9653511
    A shield that provides awesome bonuses to defense and the like, but also comes with a whiney personality and the ability to speak.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:56 No.9653519
    Faerun is getting swarmed with golden coins, the entire North is already suffocated, and turned into a dead "glacier" of crushed golden coins.

    Are you a bad enough - - to stop the golden coins?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:56 No.9653521
    A magical pair of shoes that makes the wearer immune to any kind of paralysis, magical or otherwise. However, they are forced to be constantly dancing or in motion.
    >> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2 05/06/10(Thu)16:57 No.9653535
    Book of Fire. When you try to read the book, it ignites on fire and burns to ash.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:58 No.9653541
    You never talk to me. Ugh this really hurts, you know. I'm tired, carry me on your back. Put me down, I'm not a toy!
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:58 No.9653556
         File1273179531.gif-(19 KB, 176x242, magicanthill.gif)
    19 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:59 No.9653559
    An iPad.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)16:59 No.9653563
    A pair of boots that allow the user to run incredibly fast. However, the wearer does not have an occipital lobe capable of coping with all of the sensory information, and is rendered completely blind when running.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)16:59 No.9653565
    Goggles of Seeing.

    These goggles, while worn, allow the wearer to see through the eyes of another being... unfortunately the exact being is chosen at random, and will change every 2 seconds.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:00 No.9653573
    You mean those boots from morrowind?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:00 No.9653576
    Is that some Boots of Blinding Speed?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:00 No.9653583
    .... god fucking damnit that would piss me off so much
    although eventually you're going to get around to yourself, and get to see whats going on for you for a couple seconds
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:01 No.9653594
    Wings of Icarus:
    These magic wings will allow you to fly, but any farther than 20 feet off the ground and they inexplicably blow up. Your flight speed is only slightly faster than your top running speed.

    You also can only use them at night.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:01 No.9653595
    Wait until you have a sizable stock. Save a hundred or so coins, melt the rest down.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:01 No.9653602
    Ah the little girl item.

    How is this not useful?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:02 No.9653611
    There already is an item like that? Oh blast, unintentional plagiarism.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:02 No.9653618
    or just cast mordenkainens disjunction or whatever the fuck that thing is called
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)17:02 No.9653619
    Amulet of Longevity.

    While worn this amulet stops the aging process of the wearer, but also causes the wearers mental capabilities to degrade at a fast pace.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:02 No.9653622
    Ring of Hymen Regeneration.
    Oh, and also the Baldrick of the Everlasting Boner, because thn my scale mail would chafe.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:02 No.9653623
    Well, the Boots of Blinding Speed make you blind when you're stationary, too, so it's not exactly the same.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:03 No.9653626
    The amulet could troll you and turn you into something incapable of speaking the language required to turn back.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:04 No.9653650
    Bracer of Procrastination. You'll do the dungeon tomorrow.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)17:05 No.9653657

    But... that would cause you to be seeing through the goggles, through someone elses eyes... but you're tuned into your own eyes at the moment... *head asplodes*
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:05 No.9653666
    The Potion of Hypothetical Treachery
    Makes whoever drinks it insanely intelligent, but equally over-analytical, turning them paranoid beyond belief.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:05 No.9653670
    A +6 Vorpal Blade....with a +7 vorpal handle.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:06 No.9653680
    The Chain of Subterfuge:
    Wearing this chain will make everything you say a complete lie. You become completely incapable of telling the truth about even the most basic things, and nobody will realize you're lying.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)17:07 No.9653699
    I can calculate Pi out to... let's see... 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288... WAIT! THAT 8 IS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY!
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:08 No.9653706
    A helmet that forces you to read the minds of everything within a six mile radius, even if you don't want to.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:08 No.9653716
    The All-Knowing Ring.
    When worn, it will slowly impart knwoledge of all thing in the universe, by way of showing images of everything to the wearer, along with a detailed explanation. Howeverm there is no way of choosing the subject, and it will always start with Aboleth porn, before moving to Beholders giving birth.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:10 No.9653735
    Ferrus Manus:
    These bracers give you IRON HANDS! However, they are not removable, and your iron hands have no blood in them, and are insanely heavy.
    >> Loremaster 05/06/10(Thu)17:11 No.9653755
    Bracers of Armor.

    These bracers create an impenetrable barrier around your body, mere nanometers from the surface of your skin.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:11 No.9653758
    Cold Feet:
    The area around your feet becomes icy and freezing, to the point that you freeze in place.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:11 No.9653759
         File1273180279.jpg-(270 KB, 1075x2813, fh sworx.jpg)
    270 KB
    The characters come upon a glowing sword stuck in a huge black boulder. The sword glows with warmth and power and is covered with strange runes. At the center of the runes is a strange magical symbol, consisting of a circle surrounded by three rounded triangles.
    "Me get big sword!" screams the Barbarian, thus making the longest speech of his life. All of the other party member sit and bask in the soft green glow...
    Two weeks later all the Barabarian begins suffering from a strange sickness. His hair falls out, he begins vomiting ten times a day, and his hands are covered with strange burns.
    It was probably not a good idea to remove the plutonium sword from it's lead sheath.
    >> Mr. Monitor !XBVfKv4nAs 05/06/10(Thu)17:11 No.9653765
    Ring of Eternal Bliss
    Makes you permanently immortal and invulnerable. But you can't stop orgasming.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:13 No.9653799
    Meh, you'd get used to it after a year or two...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:13 No.9653800
    A small fetish that causes you to become incredibly lithe and flexible, at the cost of becoming an invertebrate.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:13 No.9653811
    Just leaving a trail of cum everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:14 No.9653834
    A set of +8 Chainmail that instantly transforms into a chainmail bikini and can't be removed...wait, the guy with the drow priestess character would love this shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:14 No.9653835
    That cursed cloak from 3.5 Dungeon Master's Guide that made you all itchy and bug ingested.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:16 No.9653861
    -20 to Hide or Stealth checks. Also -4 to checks requiring concentration.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:16 No.9653875
    Necklace of the Charismatic Leader
    Fuses with your neck, and makes the nearest 100 people utterly and entirely devoted to you. However, it is inevitable that they will, after a while, go mad from jealousy of the other 99, wanting you for themselves by any means.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:17 No.9653878
    Flying Orb of Defense

    Whoever first opens the chest containing this orb becomes its master. The orb will hover near the master at all times, and will shoot lasers at ANY living creature that comes within 30 feet of the master.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:17 No.9653891
    A wand of disintegration.

    Holding it makes you disintegrate.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:17 No.9653894
    How about useful items with names so silly the characters would be torn between getting rid of something awesome or keeping it and living with the shame?
    A hammer names Lolli-pop.
    +4 Frost Sickles known as Ice Sickles.
    The gauntlets of Oprah Power...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:17 No.9653896
    Great for anti-social neckbeards.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:18 No.9653905
    rolled 93 = 93

    Again, you would run out after a day. It'd be small drops from time to time after that. And a -4 to concentration can be safely ignored. You're immortal and indestructible now, go choke a dragon for xp.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:18 No.9653908
    Strange or Terrible magic item general?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:19 No.9653923
    And oddly enough wouldn't decrease their chance of ever losing their virginity.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:19 No.9653935
    Gloves of Faggatron Prime:

    Causes the wearer to become flamboyantly homosexual, but gives you incredible strength.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:22 No.9653983
    Totem of Virility:
    When this totem is on your person, your penis/breasts become incredibly large. So large, in fact, that they will not comfortably fit into any garment ever made.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:24 No.9654011
    does that include other people?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:24 No.9654030
    So if someone were to make, say, a galaxy-sized pair of pants, would the penis change size accordingly? What would happen if someone made pants the size of the universe, so that the penis could not be bigger? THESE ARE IMPORTANT PROBLEMS THAT NEED TO BE CONSIDERED
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:25 No.9654043
    Sure, your sexual organs will expand indefinitely, just to make the totem more stupid and annoying.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:26 No.9654052
    The Falchion of Freddy Mercury.
    It doesn't improve your chance to hit anything, but you look absolutely FABULOUS trying.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:26 No.9654055
    rolled 28 = 28

    And I have become Cock, destroyer of worlds.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:27 No.9654076

    This enchanted blade has the power to slay almost anything, as long as the wielder constantly sings and says the name of the weapon before delivering a blow.
    >> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2 05/06/10(Thu)17:28 No.9654101
    Necklace of the Generic

    When you put on this necklace, you lose all distinguishing features and any distinguishing mannerisms. You also forget your name, occupation, or anything else that could be used to identify you. Nobody else can identify you and most people will look through you as if you don't exist, because you blend in perfectly with the background
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:29 No.9654117
    So you could dig a hole in a planet, put your dick inside, and blow it up?

    Redirect to this>>9654055
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:30 No.9654128
    But do you get a cool voice?
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:31 No.9654152
    The Sword of the Old Cods.
    Not cursed, but seriously disappointing when you realize how much cooler it could have been except for that one "C"
    Also, a ring of feather color. Covers you in bright plumage, doesn't help when falling...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:31 No.9654154
    You become the embodiment of a gay stereotype. So much so that you are basically the gayest thing to ever exist.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:32 No.9654159
    Preaching to the Quire
    A book that fills itself with what people around it says, and makes as many pages as needed. "Around it" is defined as "within ten kilometres".

    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:32 No.9654168
    1. Combine this >>9653935
    2. With this >>9654052
    3. ???
    4. Become Freddy from Cromartie High
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:33 No.9654179
    ooooh, how about a singing sword that is a BIG fan of Madonna.
    I can almost feel for the poor bastards trying to fight a Dracolich to the tune of "Like a Virgin"
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:34 No.9654209
    The Axe of Cher:
    Cher songs play all the time when you battle, annoyingly loudly.

    Carusoe's Cowl:
    A cowl that causes you to make terrible puns relevant to the situation at hand.
    >> Mr. Monitor !XBVfKv4nAs 05/06/10(Thu)17:36 No.9654233
    Blindfold of Truth
    You gain Truesight as long as the Blindfold is securely in place. You cannot see through the Blindfold.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:36 No.9654239
    Combine with an amulet that makes you sing incredibly well and you're a god amongst men.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:37 No.9654255
    the cowl would be fun to role play
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:37 No.9654262
    Wand of the Cosmos
    Simply a wand that shoots stars.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:37 No.9654266
    Dare I mention the Ring of Fury that Elminster created where he accidentally added an extra "R".
    The poor bastard who put it on was a half-orc ranger, now he's a sergal rump ranger multiclass..
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:39 No.9654297
    Potion of Legion
    Every cell in your body is now sentient.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:39 No.9654302
    *shoot an orc with arrows*
    I see he...
    ...got the point.

    *impaled by spike trap*
    I never was very good at...
    ...being on point

    *killed by falling rocks*
    We just got...
    ...totally smashed.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:39 No.9654307
    this would be absolutely devastating to any solar system its used in
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:40 No.9654312
    You'd destroy whatever planet you were on.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:41 No.9654334
    *set person on fire*
    That's very...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:41 No.9654338
         File1273182085.jpg-(8 KB, 238x240, yeah.jpg)
    8 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:42 No.9654353
    The Crown of the Dream King. Character now hears Dream Theater songs wherever he goes. Tho actually I like that old band.
    The Ring of Many Forms. Character geased to apply for a license to adventure, must fill it out all 91 pages in triplicate.
    The Ring of the Chameleon. Character now has the ability to regrow a broken tail just like a chameleon. No other benefit.
    The Ring of Eladrin Grace. Character must now recite an epic poem to Corellon (in perfect High Elven) before every meal.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:42 No.9654357
    That's sort of the point.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:42 No.9654361
    There is not enough air in the lungs of any mortal being for the amount of YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH'ing that would be done.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:43 No.9654371
    *rocks fall, everyone dies*
    looks like we suffered...
    a crushing defeat
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:44 No.9654401
    *Eating a jabberwock*
    Time for a...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:45 No.9654408
    Galses fo Mipselling.
    Anything written while wearing these glasses is full of misspellings. The writer, while wearing the glasses, does not notice it.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:45 No.9654422
    i love you
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:46 No.9654437
    *Referencing a Paladin*

    Looks like his HP isn't the only thing...

    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:46 No.9654446
    The Feather of Writing:

    Write down every thought that goes through the character's head, at all times, as fast as the character can think, on a piece of paper that always had just enough room for one more thought. Anyone who looks at the paper can comprehend 1d4+1 things written down every minute, at random. When the character dies, copies of the paper show up in the hands of all the character's closest enemies.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:46 No.9654448
    >>9653445 As soon as anyone touches it, it immediately comes to life and violently rapes the person for several hours.
    You know, there are people who would enjoy that sort of artifact.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:48 No.9654468
    threads like this make me love /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:48 No.9654487
    Using this in my next campaign. Why hello thar plot twist as one of the players must take some epic quest in order to get turned back.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:50 No.9654516
    The Ring of Protection. Large Trolls show up and demand "Pertectshun monees" from wearer.
    The Face-Stealing Ring. You end up looking like John Travolta.
    The Ring of Invisibility. Works fine until you take it off and can never find it again.
    The Ring of Adaptation. Character now hears an invisible person narrating his life. This person decides to kill off the character...
    The Ring of Windows. Character occasionally turns blue and stops working. Must be whacked on head with footwear to return to normal (called rebooting for some reason.)
    ANd of course the Baffling Cape. Promises to add an amazing +10 to AC, but nobody can figure out how it ties...
    >> Jonathan Endicott "Frosted" Butts, FBI Special Investigations Unit 05/06/10(Thu)17:53 No.9654558
    *death by drowning*
    Looks like he got in...

    over his head
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)17:55 No.9654576
    *druid turns into tree, gets cut down*
    you might say hes....
    >> Jonathan Endicott "Frosted" Butts, FBI Special Investigations Unit 05/06/10(Thu)17:58 No.9654613
    *character lost in contemplation, stumbles down ravine*

    Looks like he had some really...
    deep thoughts
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:03 No.9654658
    The Hedge Wizards Gloves give you an amazing pruning ability. Useless in combat, but might get you a date with a dryad chick.
    Holey sword? Yep, you guessed it.
    Boots of Eagerness. Character constantly bouncing up and down...asks "Are we there yet?" every ten minutes until party kills him.
    Dwarven Boots. These are just like regular boots, but have a secret lifting heel that adds two inches to your height.
    Dwarfstride Boots. Character can now only take steps of no more than ten inches at a time.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:03 No.9654661
    *in baking contest, player gets killed with cookie cutter*
    well thats one way...
    to cut the competition

    a little far fetched, i know. but i got practically nothing right now
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:05 No.9654677
    >>9654516 The Ring of Adaptation. Character now hears an invisible person narrating his life. This person decides to kill off the character...
    The narrator's name is Ben Vereen.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:05 No.9654678
    TPK after party wanders into a troll cave.
    "Dude, we got Trolled."
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:05 No.9654684
    Well, there's always the Decanter of Endless Walter.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:06 No.9654701
    Eh, some days that's how the cookie crumbles.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:11 No.9654776
    run out of places to store the coins??
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:12 No.9654789
    Mask of Coolguy
    Gain +6 to charisma, but everything you say infuriates the listener.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:14 No.9654817
    Planestrider Boots: Actually just a normal set of boots with sandpaper soles.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:15 No.9654829
    I was afraid nobody would get the reference.

    "You are inside the rectum of the massive worm"
    This is...
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:16 No.9654843
    The Girdle of Giant Smell
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:18 No.9654867
    A magical belt that generates a skin-tight codpiece made of impenetrable leather around the user's crotch.

    With this belt nobody will...
    ...fuck with me.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:19 No.9654873
    The unfortunately named Quickshit Bracers.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:19 No.9654888
    Those are the best! Wish I could have made more though.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:19 No.9654891
    Expel liquid shit with enormous pressure! Become shit-Blastoise!
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:21 No.9654909
    A pair of wings made of lead.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:22 No.9654920
    A Magical Deck of Cards
    Every card in this deck is magical, and gets activated when it is drawn from the deck (throwing the deck or otherwise separating the cards activates them as well). The catch is that the effect is random. As in, absolutely random. For example, a molecule may turn a lighter shade for half a second, or the speed of light might change to three miles an hour.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:23 No.9654932
    Looks like using that deck...
    ...is a real gamble.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:24 No.9654958
    rolled 89032 = 89032


    What happens to me?

    Also, for fun:

    1=The universe implodes.
    666=Satan takes over earth
    1000000=If god currently exists, he stops existing. If god does not currently exist, he starts existing.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:25 No.9654972
    Ring Gates. I want ring gates. There's so much you can do with them.
    >> Mr. Monitor !XBVfKv4nAs 05/06/10(Thu)18:25 No.9654978
    All the water in a 50 foot radius of the card turns into Hydrochloric acid.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:27 No.9655001
    Super Duper X-ray glasses:
    You can see through everything, to the point that you can't see anything.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:30 No.9655032
    I made an amulet that one of my players put on, and they cannot take it off by any means whatsoever.

    It forces the player to roll 1d2000 every time they kill an enemy, and if they get 1573, everything in the world dies instantly with no saves of any kind.

    I sorta lol'd when I looked back on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:30 No.9655035
    You mean the Ring of Gates? It's not so great. Yes, you do gain a treasure room stuffed with gold, but Elven Antitrust lawyers follow you around wherever you go.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:30 No.9655036
    And also gives everyone you look at mega-cancer.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:31 No.9655056
    I'm just amazed that you had a 2000 sided die handy.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:33 No.9655079
    Cutthroat Copper:
    A single copper coin that has edges sharper than any blade known to man.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:34 No.9655102
    We were playing over maptool, so we used a random number gen.

    They never did roll it. Got within 5 places of it like 7 times though.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)18:35 No.9655114
    Hobo Hat:
    A hat that gives you the appearance of a homeless man, complete with shaggy facial hair and overpowering bad odor.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)19:04 No.9655530
    Dwarven Battle Bread - treat as an edible +4 mace.
    Also, the famous Scone of Stone from Discworld.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)19:12 No.9655625
    The Short Sword: The wielder of this weapon is reduced in size such that they would be unable to use it effectively. Upon releasing the weapon they revert to their original size, violently.

    Pun-Pun's Leather Jacket: The wearer of this armour believes that they are capable of anything. Anyone who observes the finely embroidered "P.P." upon the right breast of this jacket must resist the temptation to take the jacket for themselves.

    The Decanter of Water: Only water may be stored in this finely crafted jug. All other liquids inevitably spill from it, no matter how tightly it is sealed.

    Cloak of Visibility: This lime-green cloak is trimmed with reflective tape. The wearer is rendered visible to all creatures (even those usually incapable of sight) unless the observing creature is operating a vehicle, in which case the wearer of the cloak is completely imperceptible.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)20:09 No.9656438
    Gauntlets of Ogre Loving...
    Mask of DeseGuys - character now talks with a Brooklyn accent.
    Helm of Alignment Explanation - char must now attempt to convert all other characters of differing alignments by "explaining" what they are doing wrong.
    Boots of Fey Strength - Character now capable of armwrestling a pixie - and barely winning.
    Elven Goggles of Fashion Sense - Character now spends 90% of adventure critiquing the clothing of everyone he or she sees.
    Belt of Bitchiness - It is very very bad when one of Lolths Clerics puts this on.
    "Butterfingers" the intelligent Vorpal Blade. Adds +6 to strength, reduces dexterity to 3. No owner has survived for more than a week.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)20:10 No.9656456
    moots of speed - character now runs at 35 mph but secretly wishes to be the little girl.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)20:16 No.9656533
    Legendary Helm of Weeaboo - character now ends every sentence with "Desu"
    Bastard Sword - Works fine until critical moment in combat against BBEG, then demands "Back Pay" or it stops working.
    Shortbow (rhymes with "no" not "now") - character must render obeisance to every halfling he meets.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)20:17 No.9656545
         File1273191437.jpg-(101 KB, 400x532, 4e touhou .jpg)
    101 KB
    wait, its short BOW as in now, sorry.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)20:39 No.9656868
         File1273192770.jpg-(11 KB, 150x147, anfh078.jpg)
    11 KB
    just cuz i loved this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)21:52 No.9657853
    Christ, even without the time getting reduced, that gets out of hand ridiculously fast, as exponential growth is a bitch.

    According to my math, the number of coins you will have after "i" steps is (2^i)*(2^i) = 2^(2i).
    That's IIRC, 1024 coins after 5 days, roughly a million at 10, billion at 15 and so on.
    You should have enough to make an elementas plane of gold within a couple months.
    Then you factor in the time reduction and it gets REALLY nuts.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)22:01 No.9657999
    Exponential growth dude. Place a penny on a chessboard, move it one square at a time and double it each time...see how far you get.
    >> Anonymous 05/06/10(Thu)22:03 No.9658015
    I want to start up a shop that sells weapons with a picture of an apple on them.
    I think I could sell them for 3X normal price, especially to those trendwhore elves.

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]