An anus that shoots lazers.

Dire badger ally

The power to ROOOOOOOOCK YOUUUUUUUUU

Pure toughness and WILLPOWER

>>9233356
>>9233365
>>9233366

Apparently Teddy is a pretty badass guy.

The power to nominate a justice to the Supreme court.

>>9233392
>>apparently

The power to walk.

Please stand by as I search for cartoons.

A better question is, what powers WOULDN'T he have?

He was born with asthma and a doctor said he wouldn't live to be 20. He then proceeded to strangle asthma to death and become a professional boxer out of sheer BULL MOOSE POWER

>>9233529
very illegal in UK

Whirlwind form

>>9233586
Speaking of which, under modern law, he would be banned in Britain due to being a dangerous, lethal weapon.

Shoemobile

Power to preserve land, take over control of shit weaker than him, unbreakable will power.

Beast Mastery

Extreme snow sports

club proficiency

Mecha Shiva

The political cartoons of old are so far superior to the tripe we get today.

What happened?

Band conducting

Doesn't take crap from the machine men

>>9233707
Those fuckers, our shit, etc.

Digging

Bowling champion

This man and Andrew Jackson were my two favorite presidents.

>>9233586
How?

>>9233810
Andrew Jackson was a madman, and had superpowers. Roosevelt was completely sane, but ridiculously hardcore. I lean towards the latter in my considerations, but I also feel a chill whenever I pay for something with a 20.

>>9233586
This is because your country no longer has a God. You need a new one, I recommend Rowen Atkinson.

Teddy Roosevelt was like, a single stint on a professional sports team away from having a full house of awesomeness credentials.

*Was a Cowboy
*Was a Colonel (Won the Medal of Honor).
*Was President
*Was a Big-Game Hunter
*Discovered a river in South America
*Gave a speech after being shot.
*Boxed (and engaged in Stickfighting) for fun. Lost sight in an eye doing so, and continued in these hobbies.

And he did all this after being born with Asthma. The man was made of testicular fortitude.

From Wikipedia:
"All told, Roosevelt and his companions killed or trapped over 11,397 animals, from insects and moles to hippopotamuses and elephants. These included 512 big game animals, including six rare white rhinos. The expedition consumed 262 of the animals. Tons of salted animals and their skins were shipped to Washington; the quantity was so large that it took years to mount them all, and the Smithsonian was able to share many duplicate animals with other museums."

>>9233858
He is like six different alignments. Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Chaotic Stupid... The man's got a lot of roles under his belt, he's like a walking pantheon.
That being said, I prefer the CE interpretation of Yahweh, it makes the world make a lot more sense.

Giant Form

>>9233932
Spoiler: BONES=BREAD SUCKER.

Words fail me for this one

>>9233987
YOU HAVE ENTERED THE DARK. YOU ARE IN DANGER OF BEING EATEN BY A ROOSEVELT.

>>9233810
Andrew Jackson's response to Navajo resistance against relocation:
"Light a fire under them, they'll move"

Baseball Star

Trust busting ability

Boxing Champeen

>>9234082

Ladies Man

Teddy is the platonic form of manliness

Lava Breath

Speed Force

Swordfighting

>>9234036
Navajo? da fuck?

This thread is 100% pure American win.

Super Agricultural Science

>>9234285

Boatman

Demonologist

rolled 2, 1, 3, 2 - 8 = 0

>>9234319

I think you mean Gordons Fisherman.

Super King

Negotiator

B-Baller

>>9234389
All the powers of super man, plus all the powers of a king.

His primary weapon is a big stick.

Teddy's smile in some of these gets downright disturbing.

>>9234532
And just after I post that, I refresh the page and see >>9234531

>>9234532
Because he's the American trollface.

>>9234575

>>9234579

Blacksmith

Teddy Roosevelt is pretty much the Avatar of America. He embodies everything that is good about it and everything that was bad about it.

This comes out to him being an unbelievably awesome total asshole.

No wonder we love him.

Master Detective

Do not play as Teddy Roosevelt.
Play as....
GEORGE PLIMPTON

>>9234705
He's a giant, a warship, a grue and NOW A FUCKING CENTAUR?

FUCKING SHAPESHIFTER

>>9234761

Speechcraft +9000.

Consider this: Teddy Roosevelt discovered Moses...

>>9234857
...And he IS Moses. Think about the implications of that.

Smoke cloud

Let me tell you about my Moon's Eye plan...

Battle of the Trollfaces

Nice Hat

Teddy sure loves his bears.

Baker

If you thought he could dig when he just had that shovel of his, look at him now.

Note the big stick. And the behelit.

god I love these old political cartoons

much better than the tripe we get today

Don't forget he's a master of jiu-jutsu.

On a slightly unrelated note, I found a couple new octopus cartoons for my folder.

Here's a reaction pic for you to use.

>>9235458
It's funny how you see the cartoons and assume they're exaggerations, but then you see the real thing and it turns out they were all spot on.

Vandalism for justice

>>9235319
no....freakin.....way!

some-one archive this! shit, someone make a 1d4chan page for teddy. Cleary he is the president of /tg/!

I vote for Teddy to be President of /tg/.

>>9235542

>All you did was add little wings.
>No, all I did was add SCIENCE

YESSSSS

>>9235681
But, but, Argentina doesn't look like that. ;_;

>>9235715
>Bracing for epic

>>9235750
>Das Jizzenhaus
>American History XXX
>Das Butt

Just so you all know, this is 64 pages, which means we're gonna hit the image limit unless everyone else stops posting images >.>

I don't want to be a bossy asshole, I'm just stating it.

I can post a link if it hits the image limit early.

>>>/rs/bully+pulpit&from=ALL

Take your pick.

I guess Teddy isn't a fan of steampunk.

shitty comic is shitty
I thought it was funny at first but it's just so.. un-clever.

He should have superscience powers, specifically the ability to make vast armies of robots from apparently very little.

Pic oh so related.

>>9235595
second.......

>>9235972
this one's pretty epic.

rolled 20, 11, 10 = 41

>>9236171

>>9236184
>>Didn't get Ghengis Khan
Wow, Latino Hitler is just as big an idiot as regular Hitler.

If anyone asks what TR's powers are, just say yes.