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  • File : 1271397084.jpg-(212 KB, 672x800, 06c47fd3fa75b03b30eceee0affc3fa2.jpg)
    212 KB Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)01:51 No.9221814  
    8 months ago you had a drunken fling one night while out celebrating a minor victory in you life. Whelp she found you.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)01:53 No.9221844
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    What you did there, I SEE IT
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:00 No.9221954
    I thought it would fly over your head and you wouldn't make head or tails of it.
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/16/10(Fri)02:01 No.9221974
    I think we should carefully consider our fight-or-flight response.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:02 No.9221984
    There is no CSA in medieval fantasy

    I resume my drinking and fucking of cheap barmaids and ignore her pleas
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:02 No.9221999
    I vote for "Flee like a French peasant."
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:03 No.9222008
    >I vote for "Flea like a French pheasant."

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:04 No.9222030
    Tell the dragon thing that you were going to propose but you had to move to escape the gnoll mafia, and that you'd be happy to marry her if she could ever forgive you.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:05 No.9222034
    ... I wouldn't have left her to begin with if that is who I was doin'.
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/16/10(Fri)02:05 No.9222038
    I wonder though, is this gonna be a hairy situation, or can we wing it?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:05 No.9222040
    The puns do to tend to drag on.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 04/16/10(Fri)02:07 No.9222060

    ...Stop that.
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/16/10(Fri)02:07 No.9222073
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    Very subtle.
    >> Hiro !J02Ujjg4Nw 04/16/10(Fri)02:07 No.9222076
    >implying I would have left a broad that hot
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:08 No.9222079
    Tell her we're a Drag Queen, and thus can't breed with a Dragon. Different specisis, you know?
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/16/10(Fri)02:09 No.9222093
    Well, I gotta run, otherwise coming late might tip the scales on my exam, resulting in punishment I wouldn't want to face.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:09 No.9222097
    Slay her for the XP and loot.

    Possibly the child....

    How much XP would a dragon/human baby be worth?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:11 No.9222129
    The racial barriers are a boundary we just can't scale.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:11 No.9222132
    Babbies have no XP points.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:15 No.9222192
    oh we'll see about that
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:18 No.9222263
    She shouldn't have hoard around while in heat.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:19 No.9222277
    You'd raise it as your own, telling him constantly that an Adventurer killed his mother. You'd train him in the arts of battle, of killing, of dungeoneering.

    Eventually, when he's at his peak power, you'd reveal to him that you're the Adventurer who killed his mother.

    You'd slaughter him without remorse, having trained him wrong on purpose.

    As he lies broken on the ground, and just before you plunge your sword into his still beating heart, he'd let out a remorseful cry. "I'M SAD."
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:21 No.9222299
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:21 No.9222300
    Can you imagine the lawyer she could afford?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:22 No.9222316
    Sorry I don't have a talon for puns...
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:25 No.9222378
    I think this may be the tail end of this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:27 No.9222409
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    >> Green Gecko !y4SZ54EQRk 04/16/10(Fri)02:27 No.9222415
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    Oh my fucking god, I have a half-dragon kid!
    Time to brag.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:27 No.9222421
    this thread is a a cloaca of bad jokes.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:28 No.9222439
    You try that on a dragon.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:29 No.9222445
    the scales of justice will find you guilty for these crimes!
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:29 No.9222461
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    Worth a shot.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:31 No.9222487

    Gotta love having a kid with a +3 level adjustment, eh?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:32 No.9222508
    not if I SCUTE away.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:33 No.9222531
    No amount of liquor could make me like vaginas, and if I accidentally slept with a male dragon I'm certain the consequences would be more immediate (and painful).
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:33 No.9222533
    well..the egg will stay be on your face
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:34 No.9222543
    Well, we probably get into a heated argument until I tell her she's wasting her breath, and she tears into me then flies off.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 04/16/10(Fri)02:34 No.9222551
    It does tend to put everything else to scale, doesn't it?

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:34 No.9222555
    I kill the mother, and wear its skin. I raise the baby dragon whilst pretending to be its mother, and integrate myself into dragon society.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:34 No.9222556
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    >> Green Gecko !y4SZ54EQRk 04/16/10(Fri)02:36 No.9222581
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    It leads to extra gloating power to the non-dragon parent.
    God damn, I'm so proud of my naturally-better child whippin the shit out of everybody else's kid's shit less it be magic or fighting.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:36 No.9222582
    Yeah, the thing about female dragons is...
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:36 No.9222585
    You should all be punished.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:36 No.9222587
    I'm sorry that I'm not going to take the child under my wing. I guess I'm just sort of cold-blooded.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:37 No.9222600
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:37 No.9222602
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    >This Thread
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:38 No.9222623
    I hope she is handling it okay, she looks blue.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:38 No.9222626
    Wouldn't the kid technically be like a quarter dragon or something? Op pic looks more like a half to me.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:39 No.9222644
    It looks more like a furry to me. OP is a sick fuck then.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:40 No.9222651
    /tg/ is nothing but puns today.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:40 No.9222652
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    >This thread
    Oh, /tg/
    Never change
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:41 No.9222667
    I stick with her I hear pregnancy makes a girl horny.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:44 No.9222716
    I don't remember fucking a dragon, she's just spewing hot air.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:45 No.9222720
    Batter look for a cave to hide it, she'll probably be clawing after child support.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:45 No.9222729
    Well, what do you expect? I am a dragonslayer.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:46 No.9222745
    As a Paladin who couldn't hold his liquor, I'd take resposnibility, and do my best to educate them both on how to be Lawful Good, or failing that just plain Good, I can live without the Lawful.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:46 No.9222748
    I'm sorry this thread just leaves my blood cold.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:47 No.9222757
    By Pelor, I never meant that to be anything serious. Hell, the last thing we said to each other was that we were fine with winging it.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:47 No.9222759
    Your position strikes me as not only a little flighty, but positively draconian.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:47 No.9222761
    dragons are warm-blooded, I hereby revoke your pun license
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:48 No.9222770
    so if you make an omelet from a half-dragon egg, does that count as like half-cannibalism or what
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:48 No.9222778

    Being that they have scales and are generally reptilian, I disregard your faggotry. They are in fact cold blooded, 'lest you provide ample proof otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:48 No.9222783
    Oh god furries have reached /tg/ now.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:49 No.9222790
    I wouldn't brood over the little details like that. It's all a matter of scale.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 04/16/10(Fri)02:49 No.9222792
    Sometimes, you have to mess with the pundamentals a little to get a good one.

    >> Green Gecko !y4SZ54EQRk 04/16/10(Fri)02:49 No.9222793
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    >This thread.
    I love you, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:50 No.9222803
    Well, it looks like I got egg on my face.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:50 No.9222807
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    >>this thread
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:50 No.9222812
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    I ask my mother for advice.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:50 No.9222817
    I hope we can rekindle the fiery passion, I don't want her to feel burned and leave the kid charred for life.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:52 No.9222837
    they breathe fire
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:52 No.9222841
    Thanks for making my morning, /tg/, sadly I have no puns to offer.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:53 No.9222849
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    Picture related due to puns.
    >> Green Gecko !y4SZ54EQRk 04/16/10(Fri)02:53 No.9222858
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 04/16/10(Fri)02:53 No.9222859
    So that is to say, you can pun-e-quipped for this sort of thing?

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)02:58 No.9222926
    I sure wish I'd hoard about this when she did. I'm feeling like a bit of a monster right now and I'm not sure if I can swallow the news.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:21 No.9223348
    I will be walking on egg shells round her, I am sure she is extremely stressed and I don't want to her to crack.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:22 No.9223363
    well she is egg-specting.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:24 No.9223394
    Are we snout of puns yet?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:25 No.9223417
    Anyway I'd marry her. Only honorable thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:30 No.9223505
    Why wouldn't you she has big tits and handle bars for easy riding.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:32 No.9223519
    Scales don't get stretchmarks.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:33 No.9223542
    Just gaps?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:34 No.9223547
    Then we shall duel for her hand.

    Draw your sword!
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:36 No.9223570
    Oh, no! That's what got me into this in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:38 No.9223590
    Did you show her your honour?
    >> Leman Russ 04/16/10(Fri)03:38 No.9223594
    So what're you gonna name him, /tg/?

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:39 No.9223601
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:40 No.9223632
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    Who said anything about a 'him'?
    >> Leman Russ 04/16/10(Fri)03:41 No.9223642
    You could name a daughter Kite, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:44 No.9223703
    does the Dragonomicon says they are warm blooded for 3.5, i am not sure about 4e though
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:47 No.9223727
    god i hate my keyboard
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:48 No.9223754
    Or Ness.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:50 No.9223774

    In 4e, they are at least in part powered by the elements so that they can run all the time.

    A fire breath dragon would be warm, a cold breath dragon would run cold.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:50 No.9223776
    And thus Mink was born...
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:52 No.9223802
    Woah, now there's an obscure reference.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:53 No.9223831

    Manga/Anime references on 4chan aren't exactly obscure.
    It's a relatively old (for youngfags) Manga/Anime though.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:54 No.9223836
    >reads thread

    ...Okay, so we have a collective half-dragon daughter called Kite.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:54 No.9223847
    Oh, we were thinking of different things.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:55 No.9223855
    I vote Ness. Half-dragon Ness. Short for Nessie.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)03:56 No.9223869
    >> Ness' Unnoficial Caretaker 04/16/10(Fri)03:58 No.9223884

    Allrighty-then. What kind of dragon is she?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)04:14 No.9224138
    Blue dragon, duh.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)04:32 No.9224354
    First I ask why she has a preggo belly if she lays eggs.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)05:03 No.9224729
    If she's chromatic, that means that she's fair game for slaughter. If she really did manage to capture my seed, it was likely through an bad manner. Because of the evil of the mother and the definite potential evil of the child, I smite them both.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)11:16 No.9228548
    maybe half-dragons are live births instead of being hatched from eggs
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)11:24 No.9228633
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    >This thread
    But there-
    what must have-
    when was-
    how did-

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)11:26 No.9228648
    Eight months ago I was level 5. I'm level 20 now. I CAN SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)11:26 No.9228649
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)11:30 No.9228706
    So are we gonna get some dragon porn or what?
    >> HelpfulAsian 04/16/10(Fri)11:53 No.9229054
    You go do the deed.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:11 No.9230096

    What are you? A demigod or a Neverwinter Nights character?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:13 No.9230119
    Hell, it's supposed to be faster: 4 encounters a day, 12-13 encounters to a level gives you 10 levels a month.
    >> dragon sticker !DVxh5/8Scc 04/16/10(Fri)13:15 No.9230156
    I would not be a good parent, however, having a soft spot for the dragons I would try to have a family with her.

    If she likes being abused and fucked real hard regularly and maybe even cut a little. I'd hope it's a girl, then play very little part in raising her and probably fuck her eventually too.

    Shit, I am a terrible person.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:18 No.9230210
    I man the fuck up and take responsibility for my kid and his/her mother (though what she wants or needs me to do I have no idea). I also hope that my girlfriend of five months doesn't leave me, though I am understanding if she chooses to do so.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:21 No.9230256

    It is good to know yourself.
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros III !PhseAMrpPY 04/16/10(Fri)13:22 No.9230285
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    >I'd hope it's a girl, then play very little part in raising her and probably fuck her eventually too.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:25 No.9230324
    Oh goddammit. I got the fertility spell mixed up with the shooting blanks one.

    Ah well. Is it a boy or a girl?
    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 04/16/10(Fri)13:29 No.9230403
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    You, sir, are a gentleman. Well done!
    >> dragon sticker !DVxh5/8Scc 04/16/10(Fri)13:31 No.9230440
    Don't look at me that way, I'll rape you too.
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/16/10(Fri)13:32 No.9230470
    Ah, it seems that this thread has quite a long life-span.
    Anyway, I'd take the little whelp under my wing.
    I raise him to be a great leather. To face great hoards without fear!
    I'd let him tail along with me on my travels. Of course, he'd fly at first, but he'd learn as things drag on.

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:33 No.9230485
    >I raise him to be a great leather.

    Dragonhide IS some of the finest leather out there.
    >> dragon sticker !DVxh5/8Scc 04/16/10(Fri)13:33 No.9230494

    Freudian slip?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:34 No.9230502

    You were level 2 when you came to my cave, little to no experience and very poorly armed.

    you raised your pitiful weapon and demanded I surrender my treasure to you or have it taken by force. I refused and before I had a chance to react you had thrown your weapon and backhanded me.

    It was so quick and so fast, I hesitated, but I soon regained my composure struck back. You hobbled out of the way in almost a stooper, it was if unintentional, but every strike I made you countered.

    You made insults and jokes as I even threw my breath at you. And then you changed, you stroked my skin as you shambled around, and the things you said....

    I tried to hide my embarresment, but there was no fooling you.
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/16/10(Fri)13:34 No.9230512
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    They'll send me to punitence camp for that.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:35 No.9230524
    >scared orange on a fork.jpg
    Can't unsee
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:36 No.9230533
    YESSSSS, i won't die alone!
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:38 No.9230579
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    But I'm a smokin' hot alien girl with a delicious chitinous ass. This is not possible unless she was cheating on me.

    With that fucking loser facehugger ex-boyfriend of hers.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:40 No.9230611

    My swipes became weak and I couldn't concentrate on my actions, only my instincts. You began stripping your clothes and items until you were only partially covered.

    I you brought my attention to your body jokingly and I felt heavy. A moment later you had tripped me onto my back and climbed up.

    I thought this was the end and never had I encountered someone with such reckless abandon in combat. You were truely a god among men and I wanted you to call my own.

    As you climbed over me I expected to be stabbed and I was, but not with a mere weapon.
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros III !PhseAMrpPY 04/16/10(Fri)13:40 No.9230612
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:42 No.9230646
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    You best believe it my friend. A true gentleman always accounts for his actions and accepts and embraces his responsibilities (and would never stoop to calling his child a "mistake.")

    Always good to meet a fellow gentleman who understands these things.
    >> dragon sticker !DVxh5/8Scc 04/16/10(Fri)13:43 No.9230660
    I'll even rape Putin. I don't discriminate.
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros III !PhseAMrpPY 04/16/10(Fri)13:43 No.9230665
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    >> EscapePlan 04/16/10(Fri)13:45 No.9230706
    Keanu Reeves is immortal:
    >> Tzeentch !OJ4s9gRCow 04/16/10(Fri)13:45 No.9230707
    Take care of child and mother, likely get into a relationship with her given my laid back personality, who knows.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:46 No.9230716
    But wait, I'm a warforged...
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)13:50 No.9230791
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    I think I'd remember having sex with a dragon.
    Even if I was drunk as hell.
    Does this mean I have to stop adventuring to raise the kid?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:51 No.9230818
    First think to myself WHAT THE HELL MADE ME LEAVE HER IN THE FIRST PLACE then take responsibility for my child and his/her mother.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:51 No.9230820
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:54 No.9230866
    I lock her in my basement, wait till she gives me worthy descendant, kill her. And then, RULE THE GALAXY AS FATHER AND SON.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:54 No.9230877
    falcon punch
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:56 No.9230912
    I'm torn between approving of this thread, and wishing it didn't exist.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)13:58 No.9230964
    A daughter, (or even possibly a son) must be named something fire-related. (presuming their breathe weapon is fire)
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:02 No.9231055
    Do her again now that she's pregnant. Best sex ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:04 No.9231096

    "Oh look darling, it's biting!"

    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:06 No.9231138
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:15 No.9231327
    Not sure why I didn't stick around. In any case, I take responsibility because it is the right thing to do.

    Also, pray to my various Gods that my new dragon wife is already at full size, and isn't going to keep growing... Or would that just be hot?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:21 No.9231441
    I would take responsibility for the kid but I wouldn't try to jump into a relationship with the dragon lady. If something naturally develops between us I would actively embrace it but I am not going to jump into a relationship that could potentially be harmful because we are having a kid, in fact having her (or his) parents involved in a unloving interspieces relationship could cause all types of problems for her later on.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)14:21 No.9231446
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:29 No.9231550
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)14:32 No.9231620
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    Wotz it ta you, ya grot-kissa?
    Maybe I is, you ain't me Warboss so wotzit matta?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:33 No.9231625
    Stay in touch, send money on occasion.
    Last thing I want is an attention-starved dragon whelp coming around to take revenge on me.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)14:36 No.9231675
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    Da boss'd get real angry at ya. He'd krump ya real good!
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)14:41 No.9231758
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    Datz too damn bad den.
    Cuz I'z a freeboota and can do what I like.
    Tell yur boss te shove a live squig up his arse.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)14:43 No.9231786
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    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)14:46 No.9231846
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    Wot'z dat? I couldn't 'ear ya's cuz of all da trophies and dakka I haz. And yous so small. Lemme ask a gretchin to tell me wotz yous sayin.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)14:48 No.9231883
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:49 No.9231911

    Don't you gents have a WAAAGGHH to participate in? I dare say you are, how do you say? Mucking about in here.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)14:51 No.9231942
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)14:54 No.9231997
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    Mortals, what is going on in here?
    We were trying to sleep, but you woke us up. You better have a good explanation for this disturbance!
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)14:57 No.9232031
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    Now 'oo sed I ain't gotz no boyz? Demz filfy liarz!
    I oughta give 'em a good thwack!
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)14:58 No.9232042
    He did it!
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)14:59 No.9232062
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    rolled 69 = 69


    So you'z a warboss den?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:01 No.9232100
    take the dragon and the kid, become one of those fucked up adventure families where the kid ends up in double digit levels before the same age, make the local towns live in fear of their teenage years, and have the best milf on the block.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:03 No.9232133
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    Ya kud say dat.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:03 No.9232140

    Good end. Until a lich kills you and your half-dragon kid has to fight your cursed ass.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:04 No.9232152
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    Watcha call ya boyz den?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:06 No.9232198
    Meh, could have happened anyway. Adventurer's lifestyle isn't all perks.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:08 No.9232226
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    I kallz dem dunder 'eads, squig lickas, zog fer brainz, and sonz of grotz. Like all good bossez shud.
    Me crew'z call'd Squigzog'z choppaz.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:10 No.9232256
    Dragons and orks?
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:11 No.9232262
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    So'z why ya ain't fightin?
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:17 No.9232383
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    Cuz I'z trying ta figure out somfingk.
    Dis may be too much fer yer brain ta handle but not everyfingk is solved by smashing.
    No datz a lie. Everyfingk is solved by smashing. But some stuff ya needz to fingk out. Like ya tellz 'umies ta mak yuz some nice gunz and say ya won't smash em if ya do. Den when ya gets da Dakka dakka. ya shoot em all.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:18 No.9232396
    Bitches and whores.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:19 No.9232416

    Watch though, you fight your half dragon daughter and win. A few hundred years later adventurers defeat you and resurrect you in order to get information. You wake up back on the prime material plane with your mind a bit scrambled, but you remember everything about your undead master and you look around the chamber you have guarded for all these centuries and see your daughters dusty and cracking bones in the corner. You know, you know whose bones those are, and you know who killed her.....
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:19 No.9232428
    I guess this is proof that orks can loot anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:20 No.9232442
    To be honest I can't tell if they're on topic or if they've derailed the thread spectacularly.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:22 No.9232476
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:23 No.9232487
    Pregnant female anthropomorphic dragon porn.

    Fuck this, I'm going back to /d/, at least they don't have scalies/furrys.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:24 No.9232508
    I'm black.

    I use my +30 Mother Evasion.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:25 No.9232540
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    I was aiming for "derail spectacularly"

    But of course orks have lousy aim...

    Don't get yer pantz in a bunch.We tellz dem 'umies how's we wantz em made. Den we orky dem gunz up more.
    And don't tell me yuz never took'd a 'umie gun in a fight.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:28 No.9232587
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    Why did I laugh as hard as I did at this?
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:30 No.9232619
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    You meanz ta tell me you ain't Subjoogated a forjwurld?
    yuz ain't worf me time.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:32 No.9232652
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    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:35 No.9232704
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    Yuz ain' nefer even seen a fight yet 'as ya? I don' no any boss worf his trophies who 'asn't subjoogated a forjwurld.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:36 No.9232720
    They also don't have anything but dickgirls.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:37 No.9232735
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    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:39 No.9232766
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    Youz ain't even da boss iz ya? Youz jus da dok!
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:41 No.9232818
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    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:43 No.9232853
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    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:44 No.9232879
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    Git out ya crazy. We'z aint talkin' ta ya!
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:46 No.9232915
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    Shut it git face. Da boss and da dok iz tryin ta talk.
    And ta fingk yuz callin me a koward. You 'ave no idea wot tryin ta keep all da grotz in line is like. It'z a lot of fun. kick yer bossez ass and talk ter me again.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:50 No.9232996
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    Oi! Wiffout me da boss would be nuffin but a bigga ork! I'z give 'im a bigga arm and a new eye! He'z a lot stronga now! I'z seen him crush a big 'ol 'umie walka 'ting wit just 'iz klaw!

    'an I aint no koward! I'z fight! I'z chop up some 'umiez wit me choppa! I'z even pick up da boyz in da middle of a fight! Git em back ta fightin! WAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:51 No.9233009
    How did this tread go from pregnant dragon to orks?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)15:56 No.9233101

    Its stated here
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)15:56 No.9233114
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    Orks is masta lootas
    You still 'aven't tried keepin da boyz in line tho. Ya should try it sometime.
    And don't get me started on what I've crumped. Walkas ain't noffingk. Try dem 'uge chaos gitz. Or dem Karnyfexez and 'ive tyrantz.
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)15:58 No.9233151
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    You'z krumped a karnafex? By yaself?
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)16:02 No.9233227
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    Yez I did. It wuz a damn good fight too! Left me purdy mezed up tho...
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)16:04 No.9233271
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    And you'z aint got no klaw? How'z ya kill it?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)16:07 No.9233321
    First this thread got off to a bad start. Then the puns showed up and improved the quality considerably. Then it got serious again and the thread started sucking again. Now the Orks are here and once again this is a good thread.

    I love you /tg/, you bipolar lunatic.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)16:07 No.9233335
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    I do too. It's right here! wot iz you? Stoopid?
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)16:11 No.9233406
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    Oi, yor klaw is right weak lookin! YOUZ NEED A PAINBOSS TA MAKES IT BETTA!

    You'z got a painboss ova dere in ya crew?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)16:13 No.9233462
    Too bad you don't have an invulnerable save without having to take Grotsnik, or a decent Ld for Morale checks unless you've got a baby-sitter.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)16:17 No.9233534
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    Ol' meet'ead iz da best Painboy I 'as.
    But it ain't da painboy wot made da klaw. It's da mekboy.
    An' Gortswich is feelin a little unda da weva. By dat I mean 'es ded.
    b'sidez, it ain't all dat weak if I KILLT A KARNYFEKS WIF IT.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)16:18 No.9233552
    No man I was fucking lucky as hell.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)16:18 No.9233555
    it started with a pun.
    >> The Austrian !!w1HDefruhXL 04/16/10(Fri)16:29 No.9233741
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    >funny thread on /v/
    >suddenly faggot 40k rpers, the neckbeardiest neckbeards of them all
    >fuck you no dragonbornporn
    >> MAD DOK GIRLYFREND !RWaaghhFtA 04/16/10(Fri)16:31 No.9233762
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    Was fun derailin' this thread with ya, but I'm being nagged at to play vidya games. Keep it orky broseph.
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)16:33 No.9233799
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    Keep yur klaw sharp.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 04/16/10(Fri)16:37 No.9233880
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    You all keep dragon this out until it's not funny anymore and I have to egg-splain to you why. Just cut it out
    >> Squigzog, attorney at WAAAGH! !hEpdoZ.tHU 04/16/10(Fri)16:39 No.9233902
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    Yur 'ead wud luk mighty fine on me bosspole.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)16:59 No.9234314
    Thank you /tg/ for this wonderful thread and goodnight.

    Why did we get drunk with such a horny dragon laying around?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)17:09 No.9234495
    I can't believe this didn't end up going completely scaly by the end.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)17:10 No.9234523
    Dude. We're /tg/. We loves the Xenos.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)17:18 No.9234661
    For one, it was a mixer! A MIXER! We got invited to the Young Adventurer's Social Club mixer fresh off of our first adventure. Of course they were willing to take some of our treasure off our hands as organization dues: they made us a member for life! Then they threw the greatest party you've ever seen; enchanted liquor, exotic foods--you name it, they had it. We were in our tenth cup of wine and telling a particularly dirty joke about what one could find in the cellar of the king's castle when someone laughed a little too hard at the punchline. She was beautiful, and her smile lit up the room! So what if the more sober members of the club gave us funny looks when we let her lead us away? Adventure! So what if we accidentally injured our tongue while making out with her in the alley? Adventure! It's too bad we can't remember what happened after that, but our woke up at the inn with the worst hangover of our young adventurer lives (yes, even worse than the time we challenged an orc to a drinking contest or volunteered to test the archmage's waterbreathing potions). The bill at the apothecary was worth it for the scars all over our back, ass and legs. And sure we had to wear a bandage around our neck for a week or two. We were officially adventurers!
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)17:40 No.9235082
    You sir are awesome and should feel awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)19:34 No.9236951
    So what you gonna name the little whoreson?
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)20:30 No.9237889
    While a punny thread, still needs more porn.
    >> Anonymous 04/16/10(Fri)21:16 No.9238681
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