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  • File : 1271083802.png-(2.34 MB, 1250x1798, Imperial Navy.png)
    2.34 MB Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:50 No.9145419  
    If only I wrote for Black Library, i would have built on the Ciaphas Cain's comedic take on Grimdark 40k universe.

    But, unlike making a sisters or an astartes comedy, I'd make an Imperial Navy one, perhaps of a Captain of a Ship with a dysfunctional crew, and finding themselves in situations like Gundam's Trojan Horse (Lone Embattled Ship trying to make it back to Allied Lines) being parts of suicidal missions and battles and the like.

    What does /tg/ think about this?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:50 No.9145424
    Warhammer 40k Red Dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:51 No.9145434
    I always wanted to read about a Chaos Ciaphas Cain-type.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:52 No.9145441
    >>9145434

    Would be awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:52 No.9145444
    Oh no Another Imperium Novel but...yeah, the Ideas meh.

    The ship should have a captain who thinks he's the shit, but is actually shit, but fucking lucky
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:54 No.9145469
    >>9145444
    And a boy's club group of cocky fighter pilots

    Also some Redshirt Crewmen would be nice
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:56 No.9145488
    >>9145444
    So, basically ripping off Zapf Brannigan from Futurama.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)10:57 No.9145496
    40k Horatio Hornblower, lol
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:00 No.9145539
         File1271084449.jpg-(41 KB, 310x475, flashman.jpg)
    41 KB
    >>9145488
    Why not? Ciaphas himself was a ripoff of Flashman, a British Army officer whose tendency is to stay off the fight and became a hero through luck
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:01 No.9145552
    >>9145496
    But hornblower was no comedy

    It was of a Midshipman becoming Admiral
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:02 No.9145561
    The Cain approach is a good one; it make the setting out to be a massive joke, but it doesn't take itself entirely seriously. It goes a long way towards humanising the grim darkness of the fat future. The author achieved the same effect in his Dark Heresy novels.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:05 No.9145610
    >>9145561
    Dark Heresy is a COMEDY?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:07 No.9145641
    >>9145610
    You haven't had sessions where you could practically the Benny Hill theme start up while the party played Run Away From The Chaos Marine? Pity.

    The DH novels are, if not straight comedy like Cain, pretty lighthearted.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:09 No.9145665
    >>9145539
    and flashman is fucking FANTASTIC.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 04/12/10(Mon)11:12 No.9145693
         File1271085160.jpg-(14 KB, 212x260, 1254347205295.jpg)
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    I'd make a story about a shipment of Kriegers.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:14 No.9145714
    >>9145641

    The Cain books aren't pure comedy either. Take a look at the last one; incurable Chaos brainwashing causing people to shoot themselves in the head or fling themselves off cliffs when Jurgen disrupts it momentarily. There's also the purging of an entire brainwashed army at the end. Lots of people die horribly. The comedy adds a nice contrast.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:21 No.9145782
         File1271085715.jpg-(136 KB, 760x705, GenerKill.jpg)
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    >>9145693
    For Kriegers, I'd style their comedy from Generation Kill
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 04/12/10(Mon)11:23 No.9145800
    >>9145782

    That's not exactly what I had in mind, but whatevs.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:23 No.9145807
    >>9145714
    I think it was more of a 'this. is. 40kaaaaay' thing, any other setting and space hitler's spell would have been broken and everyone who wasn't a mutant or psycher would have been dancing around and throwing confetti... Until the Necrons arrived and started shootimg everything in sight.

    That would have been funny too though; a bunch of cured sororitas parading Cain around on their shoulders and executing mutants while he was sreaming at them to let him go and run like frak because the Necrons are coming oh Emperor's bowels! But between fifty fucking suits of power armor clanking around, and the mexican fireworks, AND the dying mutants and witches they just can't fucking hear him.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:30 No.9145887
    >>9145693
    Kreig stories you say?

    Fuck those guys are creepy. I ordered some comics and I got six Kriegs instead. They build a trench system around my house and one of them is always standing outside whatever room I am in at attention. They never take of their masks. I don't even think they sleep. Freaky bastards.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:31 No.9145893
    >>9145887

    I order a box of ten cigars and signed up for a three a month sampler. I got ten Kriegs and for the last six months another three have shown up on the 15th at 2:30pm on the dot. They are have taken over every apartment on my floor and have fortified the parking area. They keep putting status reports on my desk. And yeah, the females are creepy as hell. I occasionally get a female in the sample packs and the first one has taken upon herself to follow me around at all times. I think she is supposed to be my personal aid or something but I can't communicate with her. She just stares.. looking at me through that mask.

    I've called the company that I ordered the cigars from, but they won't do anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:32 No.9145904
    >>9145893

    I ordered some textbooks online this semester instead of going to the book story in order to save a little money. Instead I got a squad of Kriegs. They always are standing at attention and I can't really understand them through those mask the are always wearing, funny I haven't seen any with their mask off. I am not sure when the eat or sleep, I haven't seen them do either though they could be sleeping on their feet. The seem to have dug a trench around my house and turned all the cushions in my living room into a fort complete with a heavy bolter.

    Four of them seem to be female. I basing this off of their height and figure, I haven't seen their faces. One of the females seems to be a corporal or some sort of alpha. She follows me around, I think she is supposed to be my aid. She stands next to my bed when I sleep, I have told her to take it easy but I don't think she knows what that means and frankly I am too scared to be more forceful. I think she has tucked me in more than once when I was sleeping and I don't know if it was a dream or not but I swear she once tried to put a gasmask on me while I was sleeping. Also I have noticed that after I wake up my hair seems to be slightly lighter each day, I've gone from light brown to dark blonde over the past few weeks. Is she doing something to lighten my hair while I sleep?

    Ugh, creeps me the fuck out. At least the male who I think is the sergeant just seems to order the others around and put status reports on my desk.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:32 No.9145905
    >>9145893
    >cigars

    This seems familiar....
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:34 No.9145922
    Here's the old KReiger codex
    http://depositfiles.com/en/files/qnptrrthq
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:35 No.9145936
    >>9145887
    >>9145893
    Take them to some sandy country and rent them out as mercenaries.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 04/12/10(Mon)11:38 No.9145959
    >>9145887
    >>9145893
    >>9145904

    lol, everyone should write their own Krieger stories.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:38 No.9145964
    bump for more krieg goodness.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:42 No.9145999
         File1271086971.jpg-(599 KB, 1000x1300, 1269470973759.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:52 No.9146128
    >>9145959

    I once got a Krieg delivered to my house from, of all places, Pizza Hut. I can't even begin to fathom how a large hand tossed peperoni and mushroom pizza was misinterpreted to be "vat grown solider." At first I just went with it because I am a pretty mellow guy and I thought a Krieg would be far more valuable than a pizza. However, he has taken it upon himself to enforce a perimeter around my house. He has taken shots at everyone from the neighbor's dog to the mailman. I once tried to have a friend over and the damn Krieg started beating my buddy up with the butt of his gun before I could explain that he had permission to be here. The guy is a pain in the ass, I am not sure of how to get rid of him I don't think he ever sleeps or lets his guard down.

    In retrospect I would have been better off with the pizza, or I at least shouldn't have tipped the delivery guy.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:54 No.9146150
    OP: I hope you fucking die and take Cain's wacky British faux-humor with you.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)11:59 No.9146225
    >>9146150

    No_Fun.jpg
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:10 No.9146343
    >>9146128
    Up until this point, I was reading them as ye olde mini-40k stories (about the models coming to life, and still being an inch tall).
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:15 No.9146391
    I ordered a Krieg from Forgeworld, just wanted to paint one, and did I ever get a fucking Krieg. He follows me everywhere, and makes my job a lot easier, or at least he did when I got used to him. I'm a mall cop, and I specialize in bike patrol. Unless I'm on a break or doing paperwork I'm peddling my ass on the street... and he keeps pace. At first I patroled at a walking pace for his sake, but after the first time I got called for a fender bender on the other side of the mall and had to book it I stopped giving a damn. He. Kept. Pace. Wasn't even fucking winded as far as I could tell.

    Gott give credit where it's due though; nothing stops two idiots from arguing over whose fault a couple of dents in their cars is like a man in a gasmask brandishing a 4 foot carbine with a 3 foot bayonet. Gonna be more fun than usual the next time a smash-and-grab thief makes it to the parking lot during my shift.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:15 No.9146400
    I was once set up on a date with a Kreig chick on one of those dating websites. It was pretty weird to say the least. She showed up to my house at exactly seven in full combat gear, lasgun and gasmask included. We went to dinner and she didn't even take her mask off, she just sat their at attention staring at me. I tried to talk to her but she would just nod at everything I say. Eventually our food came and she still didn't take off her mask but when I turned to look away for a second her food disappeared. We went to a movie after that, she just sat there mask and all. However, I went to go the bathroom halfway through and she followed me out and stood guard outside the men's room, I think I heard her hitting someone who tried to come in but I am not sure. After the movie I decide to go home and on the car ride back tried to talk to her again and all she would do is nod. Before I went back inside my house we saluted each other, which frankly I have never done on a date in my life.

    It gets even more strange. The next day after work I came home and found her standing in my living room. We saluted again. Apparently she had decided to move in as she had a backpack and duffel bag with her. She sleeps in my bed but she just lies there ridged with her lasgun at her side, I am never sure she is asleep anyways. She always gives me rations to take with me to work and has rations ready for me at exactly six oclock every evening. Of course, I also am pretty sure that she was the one who dug the trench around my house while I was at work this week.

    I am not sure if I have a live in girlfriend or a live in soldier. Maybe both.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:24 No.9146473
    >>9146391
    >>9146400
    Because no one else is saying it, you guys are awesome!
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 04/12/10(Mon)12:24 No.9146476
    Moar Krieger stories~!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:25 No.9146487
         File1271089549.jpg-(149 KB, 982x605, fra'al.jpg)
    149 KB
    I'd use some of the less known antagonists more, like Dark Heresy does. Allows for more literary freedom.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:29 No.9146524
    >>9146400
    itsatrap.jpg

    Think about it, why wouldn't she get out of here clothes otherwise?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:35 No.9146574
    I once bought a platoon a Kreigs off of ebay. I thought I got a good deal on a bunch of miniatures, so I was shocked when a full platoon of full sized, fully armed, Kreigs showed up at my house. They quickly began to fortify the property. The yard is now a network of trenches and I an not sure where they got of the barbed wire that they spread out everywhere. every window in the house now has a heavy gun emplacement, my bedroom has been turned into a field hospital and I can't say for sure but I think the basement is now a command bunker.

    For the most part they just ignore me, however they always give a rifle salute when I walk by and one of them gave me a gasmask. I've started wearing it around the house, It is was weird at first but now I kinda feel naked without it...........
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:36 No.9146591
    >>9146574
    Is that true?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:44 No.9146687
    >>9146400
    D'awww :3
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:44 No.9146690
    >>9146524

    Krieger Female Model 68b #6345 is all woman bro.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:54 No.9146783
    >>9146400
    Have you tried giving her orders? You know...
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:58 No.9146841
         File1271091490.jpg-(442 KB, 1024x1170, krieg-profile.jpg)
    442 KB
    >>9146400
    >>9146391
    >>9146128
    >>9145904
    >>9145893
    >>9145887
    >>9146574
    Our shipment of Win has arrived gentlemen! Let's get this open and pay you your internets.. Waitaminute..
    Krieeeeeeeeeeeeeeg!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)12:59 No.9146874
         File1271091590.png-(49 KB, 500x500, 1257428583621.png)
    49 KB
    >>9146690
    Oh yeah..
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:06 No.9146962
    >>9146783

    Take her to the beach, give her a bucket and spade. She's a very cheap date.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:08 No.9146983
         File1271092130.jpg-(429 KB, 1024x780, Sand Castle.jpg)
    429 KB
    >>9146962
    Is this the result?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:09 No.9146994
    >>9146983

    Think more TRENCHES
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:11 No.9147015
         File1271092294.jpg-(170 KB, 375x500, 368506799_691488c10b.jpg)
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    >>9146983
    Probably closer to this.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:12 No.9147025
    So the other day I ordered a $35 sword off one of those websites that sell weaboo shit. I started to get worried when the shipment was a week late, but about 3 weeks after I ordered it, my doorbell rings.
    And outside my door is a tall man in a gas mask and some odd military uniform, and about 10 large wooden crates.
    He saluted me and began opening the crates.
    Inside each of the crates was 10 more people like him, gasmask and all. They all seemed to follow him though. He had a sword. It was the one I ordered but I wasn't going to point that out.

    So I kinda just ignore it. I mean, how do you respond to something like that?
    The next day they had fortified my entire house. The back door and back windows had been sealed with poured concrete, there were a series of trenches in my front lawn, and giant machine guns fucking everywhere. There was even a guy with a scoped rifle on my roof.
    The neighbors were pissed, and one of them decided to storm up to my house and give me a piece of their mind about what me and me "new friends" were doing. She started shouting from her house, but the second she stepped onto my property, there was this horrible noise.
    Now there's a corpse on my property, with about 40 different bullet/las holes on it.
    I'm afraid of what's going to happen when the police show up.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:15 No.9147068
         File1271092520.jpg-(62 KB, 798x574, Normandy.jpg)
    62 KB
    >>9146994
    So more like this?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:16 No.9147080
         File1271092605.jpg-(32 KB, 560x420, 4546541-Caxias_beach_and_forti(...).jpg)
    32 KB
    >>9146983
    Honey, where did you-
    Oh.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:20 No.9147124
         File1271092828.gif-(135 KB, 900x444, imgsrv.gocomics.com.gif)
    135 KB
    >>9147068

    Or a little like this.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:24 No.9147177
    Would the krieg girl keep the trench coat and all that on during a beach trip? Gas mask stays, of course, but would she slip into something more practical?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:28 No.9147217
    >>9147177
    Probably trench-boots with wrappings to prevent sand from entering her... boots.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:54 No.9147536
    >>9146400

    DON'T DATE KRIEGERS!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)13:55 No.9147555
         File1271094941.jpg-(116 KB, 837x702, 1257429645435.jpg)
    116 KB
    >>9147536
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros III !PhseAMrpPY 04/12/10(Mon)13:59 No.9147587
         File1271095153.jpg-(60 KB, 540x320, ed_imgsnn1221gx1_54_334535a.jpg)
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    >>9147068

    More like this.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)14:26 No.9147859
    >>9146962
    >>9146983
    >>9146994
    >>9147015
    >>9147068
    >>9147080
    >>9147177
    >>9147217


    I decided to take Krieger Female Model 68b #6345 with me to the beach for a short trip. I thought it would be nice and maybe the change in scenery would get her to lighten up. I told her about the trip a week ahead of time to give her a chance to get ready and she woke up promptly at five in the morning on Saturday, without the aid of an alarm, and waited in the car for me to get ready.

    I had told her that we were going to the beach but I wasn't sure at first that she understood what that was as she was dressed in the same neatly pressed greatcoat she always wore (does she clean it when I an not around?). Our car ride was uneventful, I would talk, she would curtly nod. I think she also kept turning off the radio and adjusting the air conditioner when I wasn't looking, that or I am having electrical problems with the car. When we got to beach I shocked to find out that she did understand exactly where we were going. As soon as she got out of the car she removed her greatcoat revealing...........warm weather fatigues.

    She had her sleeves rolled up to exactly a centimeter above her elbows, revealing her hands and arms for the first time. Her shirt was pleasantly form fitting and unfortunately buttoned up all the way and her pants were equally as form fitting as her shirt and disappointingly long and tucked into her boots.

    It wasn't perfect but it is the most casual that I had ever seen her. We went for a nice walk along the beach, in total silence, she with her lasgun slung over her shoulder ready to bring to bare at the first sign of trouble. She always walked in step with me on my right hand side except for a brief stretch when we passed a group of women playing volleyball, she then switched to my left depriving me of a pleasant view.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)14:27 No.9147878
    >>9147859

    I had hoped to go fishing at a small pier but I didn't have a fishing license and she kept point to a sign that said "no fishing without a license" and kept blocking my way. It is the most forceful she has ever been with me.

    After that I waded around in the ocean for a bit, she stood on the beach watching. All and all it wasn't a bad day......... that is until we came across a group of kids building a sandcastle.

    I don't even know where she got the shovel but she was on them with it in a flash. Quickly she began to build ditches, bunkers, and ramparts around it. She was forcing the kids to help her directing them with dramatic and threatening gestures and shoving them from place to place, ignoring the cries from the younger ones. Eventually some of the parents saw her and came at her yelling. Big mistake, she quickly leveled her lasgun and opened fire. Fortunately she didn't hit anyone before I got there to stop her, I think they were warning shots though I am still certain that those families are traumatized for life.

    All things considered, it wasn't that bad of a day and could have been worse.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)14:41 No.9148042
         File1271097689.jpg-(193 KB, 505x771, Krieg sup.jpg)
    193 KB
    >>9147878
    >>9147859

    Daaaaaaw, she only wanted to help the tiny citizens build fortifications for use against the heretics and xenos!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)14:42 No.9148050
    >>9147878

    Aw.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)15:11 No.9148540
    You guys are making me all jealous, I want a Krieger of my own.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)15:55 No.9149237
    >>9148540
    I know man.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)16:08 No.9149466
    >>9148540
    >>9149237

    Be careful. Kriegs can ruin your life. I once got some Kriegs, I was ordering parts for a laptop and instead I got a squad of Kriegs. It was fun at first with the fortifications and the bunkers. However, two things about Kriegs: they never STOP fortifying a position and if they don't have targets they make targets.

    I currently am trapped in what is left of my house, which is a maze of razor wire, trenches, and gun emplacements. The Kriegers decided that my neighbors must be heretics, I guess because they don't separate colored glass in their recycle bin or something, and opened fire on them on day. They are dead now and the Kreigers are in a protracted firefight with the police. They won't give up, we are all going to die here. Goddamn Kriegers.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)16:14 No.9149562
         File1271103252.jpg-(500 KB, 1080x1350, Death_Korps_of_Krieg__Tribute_(...).jpg)
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    When I went to the shelter, I was imagining some sort of lab mix, or maybe one of those retired greyhounds. Something that would lay around the house, go for runs in the park every now and then. But when I saw the little Krieger in his pen, he just looked too forlorn and adorable to pass up. All I had to do was fill out the paperwork. He already had his shots and a microchip; though the shelter staff assured me that neutering wasn't actually necessary for Kriegers.

    I had some behavioral problems with Krieger at first. He kept trying to dig up the backyard, and was restless and territorial. He kept poking the mailman with his bayonet and trying to call in artillery strikes on passing cars. When I checked the behavioral books, though, they said that this was actually an expression of insecurity--that Kriegers were territorial and needed an established "bunker" of their own in order to feel content. So I cordoned off part of the yard to make a Krieger-kennel, like the book said. The Krieger does most of the work, actually: digging, creating breastworks, mixing and pouring the concrete and filling the sandbags. I was a big concerned that it would be cruel to surround the kennel with barbed wire, but my vet assured me that Kriegers actually enjoy it, and are accustomed to moving around in their bunker without getting tangled in the wire.

    My little Krieger is much better behaved now, content and playful. We go to the park and play with his little toy potato-masher: I throw it, and he runs after it. Sometimes he'll throw himself onto it when it hits the ground, other times he'll scoop it up and fling it back to me, which is fun. He also likes running from tree to tree with his bayonet at the ready. And I enjoy curling up on the couch at night with my Krieger standing attention nearby. It's such a secure feeling.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)16:25 No.9149757
    >>9149562
    >>9147878

    So the question is, Krieger puppy or Krieger girlfriend?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)16:32 No.9149886
    >>9149757
    The puppy is cool an all but obviously Krieger girlfriend has taken my heart.


    And my Spade. :(
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)16:35 No.9149941
    >>9149757

    Puppy. The girlfriend would be cool at first but i don't think you could ever be that intimate. The puppy would always be your best buddy.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:04 No.9150521
    >>9149941
    But the Girlfriend my just be a little Tsundere.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:09 No.9150616
    need drawfaggotry on Krieger girlfriend.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:12 No.9150697
    I'd like someone to make a comical book about Space Marines.

    Well, black comedy.

    Imagine a space marine chapter from a barbaric culture.

    They have a brutal approach in battle, don't give a fuck about diplomacy, they don't fight to save the Imperium or its citizens, but they fight for the spirits of their ancestors, their Primarch and for the Emperor. They have a great respect for great power, and will piss on a Missionary, but be awestruck when meeting an important Church individual.
    They piss on the Codex Astartes, actually using ripped out pages they like in their own Codex Astartes. Often leading to conflicts with other chapters.
    They don't give a fuck about celibacy and like to party hard after a big fight.

    This creates problems, but problems are easily solved if you are in the adress book of a powerful group of Inquisitors.

    For 6,000 years has the chapter been "advised" by a powerful Inquisition Cabal. Any transgressions are discreetly solved by Inquisitorial decree, and the chapter repays these debts by acting as a "last-case solution" to the Inquisition.
    The chapter welcomes these near-suicidal missions, eager to prove themselves for the spirits of their ancestors, their Primarch and the Emperor.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:13 No.9150701
    So I decided to go with the krieger girlfriend, decided to get her a puppy for valentines. Ordered the thing from a nearby shelter and they sent over a box, it seemed a little big but I figured that they just made it large enough for the little guy to run around it....

    Long story short, I now have both krieger GF and krieger puppy. They get on pretty well, she likes to take him for recon missions in the mornings.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:24 No.9150968
    I lost my Krieger girlfriend. I... we had a fight. Well, I had a fight. I was fed up with falling into earthworks, and the neighbors were getting pissy. She just stood there and took it, then gathered her things with just a single backward glance.

    I've seen her about town with another Krieger. Maybe it's a new boyfriend? I don't know. They were buying barbed wire and shovels. Just like we used to.

    I... I miss her so much. I miss the rasping sound of her breathing. I miss her watching over me in the night. I miss saluting her every morning when I left for work, and debriefing her about my day when I came home. I miss the creak of leather and the smell of damp earth. I miss her so much.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:26 No.9151011
    >>9150968

    ;_;
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:27 No.9151030
    >>9150968
    You ... You useless sod. Go back there and tell her that you are her CO and she could be shot for heresy is she does not return otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:28 No.9151075
    >>9150968

    Put on your commissar hat and greatcoat. Get shit done.
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros III !PhseAMrpPY 04/12/10(Mon)17:30 No.9151112
    >>9150968

    D:
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:39 No.9151318
    >>9150968

    You want her back? If romantic comedies have taught us anything, she is clearly with your far more successful and good looking rival who seems to be a much better fit for her. You will need to gather up your closest oddball friends and do something spectacular and crazy before you lose her forever. If the opportunity to punch your rival comes up, remember to take it.

    I suggest you start digging. Now! Time is running out!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)17:45 No.9151428
    >>9151318
    This Remember YOURS IS THE SPADE THAT WILL PIERECE THE EARTH!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:07 No.9151829
         File1271110021.jpg-(197 KB, 700x700, 1213556538688.jpg)
    197 KB
    >>9150968
    You need to find some filth xenos to put down, and do so in front of your estranged Krieg GF. The adherence you showed to the Emperor's laws should win her over again.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:08 No.9152972
    >>9151829
    So Op what are you doing? Getting your Krieg girlfriend back?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:34 No.9153505
    >>9151829

    This all sounds like it would make quite a good road trip movie. Guy breaks up with his Krieger girl, gets drunk, passes out. Wakes up to find she's gone, has left a note to her Commanding Officer that since she's been dismissed, she will return to central command on the other side of the continent for reassignment to other duties. She thanks him for his time, and despite the fact that it breaks regulations, comments that she thought they made a very good team.

    Our hero finally realises the depths of his feelings towards his gasmasked soul mate, and decides to go and win her back. But how? He gathers his best friends together and a plan is hatched. They capture a local Eldar, sling her in the back of their car and race towards the bus depot. If he can purge the Eldar in front of his love, perhaps she will take him back, and they can be together again.

    Alas! He is too late! His love has left long ago. Despondent, he apologises to the Eldar and lets her go free. She's surprisingly understanding about it, all things considered, saying that she too knows how crazy one can get when you're in love. She was loved and left too. Everyone heads back to a local bar to drown their sorrows.

    As they get drunk, however, a news report on the TV shows that a massive gathering of Kriegers is coming together in three days. The report pans across the crowd, and there she is! Our hero's heart leaps! But look - oh my. It looks very much like a particularly burly guardsman is attempting to woo her with his shovelling.

    This shall not stand. So begins an epic road movie, where our heroes charge across the country, encountering all manner of strange and terrible individuals in a desperate race against time and fate to win back his love.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:48 No.9153815
    >>9153505

    >>This shall not stand. So begins an epic road movie, where our heroes charge across the country, encountering all manner of strange and terrible individuals in a desperate race against time and fate to win back his love.

    This will be magnificent if the Eldar they captured actually decides to tag along as one of the road-pounding crew, becoming an epic xenos fembro (with a few hilarious side-sketches of the efforts made to hide her ears from the public).
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:52 No.9153907
    >>9153815

    That is exactly what I was thinking. Possibly have her run into the guy that dumped her in the end.

    Were it not for the fact that it's ten to one in the morning I'd think about writing some scenes for this thing. Was thinking of having it almost totally like the real world, with very, very occasional 40k intrusions like Kriegers or individuals like the Eldar.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:06 No.9155247
    >>9153505
    >>9153815
    >>9153907

    I would pay to see or read this, it doesn't matter which.



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