Does this mean we are in a middle of a fight?

>>9069319

You can start in the middle of a fight, or slightly before entering the fray. Majority vote decides.

You didn't think you could escape my terrible rolls, did you?

>>9069382
Rather a lonely samefag than a lonely OP, my good man. You and your cursed dice are always welcome here.

Protip: beseech the gods of adventure, and think with them balls.

bump

So shall I turn back time and save Dobson's skin?

bump in hopes of an answer

Oh dear, slow night.

I'll continue to bump then, I suppose.

Well, RSFQ can always return another night.

one more bump

I enjoyed reading the summary of the last adventure - it very much reads like retro sci-fi... Even with the bad Hitchers reference in there,

And in the spirit of retro sci-fi, Dobson and half your men being cut down feels far too grim and dark for the tone of the adventure. I, a humble poster whom has never heard of this particular questhread before, vote for retconning of that fact.

>>9070462

Oh ye gods, a poster!

Well sir, since you are my... only participant... would you care to carry on the adventure?

>>9070486
Alas... I'm going out in a few minutes. <<

>>9070550
That's quite alright. Lately this quest has been slow. Episode 2 saw the most participation, and I must say things get quite fun that way. Anyway, I try to post fairly regularly around the same time, so it's never too hard to find me!

Sorry about leaving so quickly, my computer died. Back now. I vote for not retconning, failing miserably and having to deal with the consequences is part of what sets Retro Sci Fi quests apart from the other quests that tend to be just "you're fucking invincible, nothing can go wrong."

>>9070793

Well the streak of failures last night led me to the realization that a quest becomes boring if there are no consequences. Perhaps we can reach a compromise involving the death of many redshirts, but not in the sobering and grim way I wrote it the other night?

no retcon

Well, two for retcon, one for none.

I'm trying to think of a way to please all parties.

>>9070846

Hm... while I do hate how certain quests seems to tone any negative consequences way too low so that there's hardly ever any feeling of danger (ZeonQuests tends to do this, for example), having half our crew killed like that just by pure chance is a bit steep. It would be another matter if it was by our own poor judgement, then it would be fine by me. But a dice roll is a bit... nah, I say we compromise. Some redshirts die, but not quite as severe as before.

Hey M, did you get a new hair-do?

Alright alright how about this:

As you charge with heroic fury at the Jellitar warriors, your men take positions behind bits of rubble. However, not all your men are quick enough, and a good number of your troops take shots to the chest and head, killing them. You suddenly feel your legs give out from beneath you as you slip on a pool of blood, slamming your nose into the metal floor of the ship.
Both sides trade poorly-aimed lazers as you lay on the floor in a daze. You can hear captain Gallant ridicule you:

"You're supposed to be the big hero, Dent! What happened?"

Will you stand for this?

overcoming adversity is the mark of a true heroic space captain

So we lost some redshirts, it's their job damnit! It's what they do! Don't dishonor their sacrifice by pretending it never happened!

Alternatively, you could work some SCIENCE! into your sci-fi quest and give our heroic captain a way to resurrect one/some/all of the men.

Like maybe collecting their ashes to put into some fancy machine that rebuilds their bodies based of genetic info or something SCIENCE!-y like that

just a thought

>>9071051

A bit too magical, but I like your gusto, good anon! That's going down in my notes (yes, I keep a notebook specifically for this quest. Don't say I never cared about you, my faithful players!)

For the record, Dobson is no longer dead. He has taken cover with M and is firing his trusty shotgun Anabelle at the Jellitar.

Jellies: 94 men

CUH forces: 60

>>9071156

Roll a d20 for actions, sir!

>>9071080

Remember The Fifth Element, where they built Leelos body in a few minutes out of genetic material from an alien hand? I think Anonymous means something like that. Or, for that real retro mood, have them slowly regrow in clear glass tubes over a few months or so. Maybe give them amnesia, or we need to find a memory back-up or something. That way, death is undesirable even if we can revive people.

But for regular red-shirts, I think it's a lot easier to just replace them.

>>9071156

Also, since Ep. 2 I've gotten into the habit of just letting you guys speak for Dent, so be sure to include snappy one-liners and badass dialogue when necessary!

rolled 5 = 5

>>9071171

Time to fail!

>>9071195
You try, you really do.

Rolling to the side, you attempt to strike a pose as you blast at the filthy jigglers. However due to your mild concussion, the shot goes wide and vaporizes a section of a nearby ship. You see the crew inside quizzically look out of the smoldering hole in their vessel, only to see the mass of green aliens outside.

They quickly dart back inside.

On the upside, however, M has taken the initiative!
She rockets to the ceiling of the hangar, gripping a light fixture and firing her massive slug-thrower single-handedly, killing five Jellitar!
"Dent you blundering moron, pick yourself up!" She shouts.

You know, I've been wondering: are C.U.N.H.T regulation space suits bulky like in OP's pic or the tight jumpsuit type?

>>9071242

Blasts of energy light up the cavernous hangar, and it seems the Jellitar are taking more casualties than you are! However, that jackass Captain Gallant spares no expense to ridicule you. He removes his brilliant white waistcoat to reveal a set of glorious abs that rival yours in their macho intensity! He holds a brace of plasmic repeaters, which he fires into the green mass while smoking a cigar.

"Hey Dent, I see your subordinates are more competent than you are!"

>>9071242
"Thanks for "lifting" my spirits Margot! Let's show these filthy squids what-for!"

I stand up, turn sideways to Gallant and carefully aim, exclaiming "I never liked calamari", and I fire one shot at his forehead

>>9071279
I planned for them to look tight-ish, like one would see in a 50's or 60's sci-fi movie. However, feel free to envision the RSFQ cast in any manner you want. If a drawfag ever feels like they want to take a stab at Dent or the cast of RSFQ, then they can feel free to do so!

>>9071327
A d20, my good man!

>>9071350
attempted rollan

it's my first time, be gentle

rolled 14 = 14

>>9071242
I mumble "Nobody has ever dared to speak to Captain Arthur Dent in that tone. ... I think I like it!"
I hurry to get back on my feet and into the fight. "DON'T MESS WITH C.U.N.T.H, YOU MOTHER-GLAFNING ROTGIX PICKERS!"

>>9071327

Seriously roll like the fist of the north star because Lonely Samefag has a tendency to roll really poorly really consistently. It's hilarious, but also embarrassing.

rolled 14 = 14

>>9071366
blasted aliens!

>>9071375

True, but feel free to use the 14 I just rolled for combat. Not too bad, at least not by my standards.

>>9071374

A good roll, from my Lonely? it's more likely than you think!

Getting up from the floor, you shout to your comrades to fight with renewed spirit! Doing a frontflip-jump over the chest high wall in front of you, you draw your scimitar and slice the nearest Jelly in half as you land.
M continues to rain death from above:
"Finally showing us how to do it, eh Cap?" She cries.

Equalizer in hand, you fire (more accurately now) and liquify ten Jellitar soldiers huddled together. The troop count is almost even now!

>>9071337

Don't worry, I fully approve of skin-tight space suits. Even if it means everybody has to see Dent's dents. Especially when he's... excited... Shivering just thinking about it.

In awe of your bravery, your men fire with uncanny accuracy! One Jelly drops, and then another! But more reinforcements continue to pour in through the boarding tunnel that sticks violently into the side of the Unshakable, and you aren't sure how long you can last, especially with other boarding sites pocking the ship!

>>9071497
Tell M to fire at the base of the boarding tunnel with her big gun to try to collapse it before any more squid jellies come out
Alternatively, throw a grenade at the boarding tunnel

rolled 7 = 7

>>9071422

"Wait are you waiting for, boys (and you too, Ms M)? Let's show these sorry escuses for aliens how it's done. CHAAAARGE!"

>>9071532

Roll for searching your utility belt for some ordinance.

In the meantime:
M does as ordered, and a hail of high-velocity slugs tear apart the Jellitar. Her slug-thrower chews through the ammo belt in a matter of minutes, and she must stop to reload. However, the pile of jellyman bodies clog the boarding tunnel, and so new reinforcements will not be bothering you for some time.

Both sides exchange fire. You notice Dobson has broken cover and is by your side. Carter is with him also:
"We've got your back, Cap! Let's show Gallant what a REAL hero looks like!"

>>9071538
Dear lord, I'll get us all killed.

>>9071538

How unfortunate for you, that your gun chooses this moment to jam! Superheated plasma leaks from the valves on the side of the weapon, forcing you to drop it (unless Dent wants to be a Captain with no hands).

You still have your scimitar and balls, though!

rolled 5 = 5

>>9071595
rolling for utility belt grenade search

>>9071672

Weapon on floor, you scramble to locate some grenades. Instead, you find some packets of insta-joe, a vial of anti-wadoid cream, and your trusty mini-torch.

In the grim darkness of the far future of 2018, pants are optional.

>>9071718
>Teal speedos
>Two headed man with confused look

I nearly pissed myself just now...

rolled 12 = 12

>>9071715
Having studied the anciest video-manuscripts of St. McGuyver the Resourceful, I try to assemble a makeshift grenade using the stuff I found.

>>9071718
And shirts are banned.

rolled 9 = 9

>>9071715
combine mini-torch and insta-joe, throw scalding space coffee in the eyes of those alien scum!!

(I'm just going to throw a pre-emptive roll in for this before I'm asked to roll for it)

You see more Jellitar fall over dead as searing lazer bolts go through their vitals. Unfortunately you also notice that your own men, (and thankfully those of Gallant!) are going down too. The odds are still in the Jellitars' favor!

M has now descended from the ceiling. Activated the lazer-bayonet on her gun, she flies like a comet at where the enemy is thickest. You hear whizzing and sizzling as she goes to work.

>>9071735

I think this could be the future of RSFQ, after the cloning of Dobson has gone terribly wrong, and he accidentally walks in on Captain Dent while he's doing... research.

>>9071784
>>9071764

Thinking quickly, using all of that heroic wit, you create "hot coffee." Hurling the makeshift weapon with all your might, you splash several aliens with the scalding liquid. However, their tissue remains undamaged, and you've done naught but caffeinate them. They begin to move erratically, firing at random.

Seems they're less dangerous, at least.

>>9071775

Part of me wants to make this the dress-code of all female crewmembers, but I'm way too afraid of M's blaster skills to do that.

>>9071845

Also, based on certain heroic or embarrassing actions, I'm secretly keeping a tally of our HERO POINTS. These currently serve no purpose, but may eventually have a use.

>>9071839
hmmm, so caffeine makes them frenzy and fire wildly?
Good to know.

attempt to spot a weapon lying on the ground, dropped by a dead crewmember or jelly-dude, and use it to continue our assault of manliness

The reinforcements have nearly cleared the barricade of corpses! Your men show signs of worry and fatigue, but Dobson and Carter faithfully stand with you, blasting away at approaching Jellies as you ponder your next move.

Gallant is also looking rather sexy as he continues to shoot aliens. Jennings chimes in on your radio:
"That Captain over there sure is handsome, sir!"

OUTRAGE!

>>9071908

You look around. Putting your massive scimitar away, you see a number of exotic laser weapons on the ground around you. Picking up two (we'll show that Gallant who's better with akimbo!), you surge forward to continue the assault. Your men shout your name in support.

>>9071896

Wait, would forcing all females (at least the attractive ones) to be topless while aboard our rocketship (innuendo!) count as Heroic or not? While it would be a douchebag move, it's just AWESOME LEADERSHIP for your average badass space captain from the school of Kirk and Flash. Mysterious!

>>9072002

Forcing? Dick move, Cap.

Coercing with your studly charm? Massively heroic.

rolled 10 = 10

>>9071934
"Maybe. Too bad he's extremely homosexual. Completely lacks any interest in women at all."

>>9072030
Ladies! Our ship has decided to sign up for the "Clothe the space-kittens on planet Frigidia III" charity drive! Due to this, I encourage all crew members to donate their uniform shirts to the cause. We don't want those lil' guys to freeze down to a horrible and slow death after all!"

>>9072079

Anonymous, I like how you think. You're leadership material.

>>9072078

Jennings isn't fooled by your cover-up:
"Oh Dent, do I sense a tinge of jealousy in your tone? Well, I just figured I should tell you that it looks like a massive fleet is headed towards the Unshakable. Reports show that the Jellies have taken the lower decks and are working on destabilizing the station's reactor. We uh... may want to leave before we get turned into dust..."
Her transmission cuts off.

>>9072141

Your men hold their ground, and you can see M at the heart of the enemy force. Amazingly, she continues to dice aliens left and right. The numbers have tipped in your favor thanks to her!

Might wanna find a way to end this fast, Cap!

>>9072198
congratulate Gallant on his skill and bravery, and ask him to hold the line a little longer.

Retreat to the bridge and activate emergency self destruct, gather our most loyal soldiers and find an escape pod.

Don't tell Gallant.

>>9072219
Excellent subterfuge, good sir.

>>9072219
Shall it be so?

>>9072198
Hm... do we know anything about the layout of the station? In particular, do we know if any of the humans aboard would be in danger if we, let's say, opened up a hole in the area where the Jellitars are, sucking them into space?

>>9072320

The hangar is rather large, and the Unshakable comes with an emergency "patching" function that will seal any holes blasted in the walls. The hole would be open long enough to suck the beasties out, but not kill any innocents.

Good thinking, Captain. Make it so with a roll of the die!

>>9072219
I approve of Anonymous trickery, my own plans are usually along the lines of "bash right in and hope we don't die". This, however, is deliciously clever. Let's do it.

rolled 11 = 11

>>9072345

rolled 17 = 17

>>9072377
I changed my mind, I'm sticking with breaching the hull

>>9072377
Thy will be done!

You command your own men on a closed-frequency that you're... "redeploying" to a different section of the ship. M is not pleased, but she agrees nonetheless. Flying up from the melee like a fireball, she sends the Jellitar clinging to her flying around the room.

Gallant watches you retreat with a smug look:
"Running from such a good fight? I expect better from the glorious Captain Dent!"

You smirk inwardly, knowing full well what you plan to do. It's a short jog to the bridge, and there you activate the emergency termination protocol. Coming in on the loudspeaker to all decks (save where Gallant is) you order everyone to evac immediately.

On your way back to the ship, you suddenly encounter two Jellitar troopers!

>>9072444
>>9072434

Oh sheesh. Come to an agreement, gents.

rolled 11 = 11

>>9072482

"Sorry gentlemen, but we don't have time to chat" I slidekick one of them, without even stopping for a moment.

>>9072492
Cursed lag, this is why it's a bad thing that we always do this quest when it's 4 in the morning for me. I'm way too tired. Let's disregard my plan, and go with the one we're already on. A waste of a good roll, but shit happens.

>>9072444

Since I'm in a generous mood, I'll take the good roll.

You are quickly shot to death, and drop to floor...

You snap out of your mid-combat delusion and look around. The Jellitar now number somewhere around 150! Channeling all of your bravado, you call to M:

"M! I need a lift!" you shout.
"Okay cap!" She replies as she barrels through the crowd to you, bolts harmlessly pinging off her suit.

She hefts you up and takes to the sky once more. Locating a large tube-structure which you know to be an exhaust conduit, you aim carefully and fire both lazers at it. It goes up in a blaze, taking the Jellitar with it as the hangar depressurizes.
You drop from M's grasp. She thinks she's dropped you, but you're too good for that! Drawing your scimitar in mid-air, you do a flying tackle into the reinforcements coming through the boarding tube.

Slicing and hacking with reckless abandon, you leave none alive in your wake.

Slamming the release button on the tube, you send it jetting out into the inky blackness of space, before dismounting with a backflip as the tube EXPLODES(!).

Gallant's jaw hangs agape.

>>9072549
>>9072517
Set in stone, I felt this was manlier. Sorry for the railroading, CHOO CHOO.

>>9072549
By the way, what part of the world do you hail from, Lonely?

>>9072630

Bless you and your sense of MANLINESS. Also, I'm grateful we had the restraint to not cop a feel while M carried us.

rolled 4 = 4

>>9072604

Rolling to make fun of Gallant in a witty manner.

>>9072685
All in the spirit of campy adventure, my friend.

>>9072688
Hey Gallant! I hear you... ehh... MORE LIKE GAY-LANT! HA-HA!

Gallant snaps out of his stupor to roll his eyes. Oh well, can't win em all.

>>9072644

Sweden, so it's 04:16 as I'm writing this.

>>9072727

We should proceed to the lower decks and keep the station from exploding.

>>9072760
Sounds like a plan, I don't think C.U.N.H.T would like us killing hundreds of innocent humans.

>>9072756
Well I thank you for choosing my little quest over sleep! Sorry for keeping you up.

>>9072760
Quickly recovering from your botched insult, you head to the belowdecks to see what's up. You have thirty-six men in tow, not including Dobson, Carter, and M.

You pull up to a stop a ways away from the reactor room. Looking around the corner, you see two sentries.

Odd, one would think more of the beasts would be guarding their little operation?

Well, it's getting too late even for me. See you gentlemen next time.

>>9072841
"This seems... odd" Carter chimes in, "Should we keep the crew appraised of the situation, sir?"

>>9072904

Oh, and green, sixlegged space bear are ALWAYS related.

>>9072904
See you around, dear player!

Onwards to adventure

>>9072905
No, they don't need to know.

>>9073355

So be it!

Do you wish to head in to the reactor room? At this range and with superior numbers, you need not roll for blasting the gel out of the two troopers. Silent assassination will require a roll, however.

>>9073406
Make it so.

>>9073456

You charge around the corner and open fire with both your blasters. The large gobs of red plasma fly towards the aliens, burning large holes in them. They drop with a terrified howl.

You kick with all your might at the door, intending to knock it off its hinges. Unfortunately this is the year 2018, and all doors slide open vertically!
Cursing your hurt foot, you saunter in to the reactor:

"Danger's come a knockin', slimeboys, and its name is Arthur Dent!"

Nothing hears your macho line. The reactor room is bare.
"What the hell?" Growls Dobson.

>>9073572
What the hell, indeed.

>>9073599

What do, Captain? Radio Jennings? Check the room? Other?

Well, this seems as good a time as ever to sign off. Thanks for participating again, adventurers of /tg/!