Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1269982459.png-(125 KB, 295x421, DesertFangsTactical.png)
    125 KB PRIMARCH QUEST PART 5 That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)16:54 No.8879803  
    Last Thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/8866464/

    You are Rachnus Rageous, Primarch of the II Legion, the Desert Fangs. You are a Null, as are a good portion of your marines, and at the moment, you and 160 of your elite Silencers are beneath the capital of a heretical, sorcerous planet - a horde of warp-creatures stand between you and the source of this city's power, a foul, pulsing, gigantic heart that sits in the center of a cavern two miles in diameter. Alpharius' legion is keeping the defenders on the surface occupied as best they can, but it's only a matter of time before enemy reinforcements begin to make their way down to this cavern.

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)16:55 No.8879828
    you can't stealth in

    because they will detect the fagginess radiating off you
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)16:55 No.8879836
    Shoot warp creatures, destroy heart of planet, win?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)16:55 No.8879837
    Charge the enemy! For the Emperor!
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:00 No.8879924

    Howling your warcry ("SURPRISE, FUCKERS!"), you and your men wade into the daemonic horde, the daemons falling with contemptuous ease, their skin bubbling from their bones from your mere proximity. As the gibbering hordes become more and more dense, you suddenly hear a great shriek, like that of a monstrous bird. Above the teeming masses, you can make out the form of a great, humanoid avian, wearing robes of ever-shifting colors and carrying a staff that seems to be constantly changing shapes in its grasp. It is drawing towards you.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:02 No.8879979
    Ignore. Continue on casually.
    We are fucking nulls.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:02 No.8879981
    spread out in 5 man fireteams keeping each other covered and have an engineeer try and access the local network and find a fucking map.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:07 No.8880080

    Screeching and cawing, the entity swats lesser warpbeasts out of its way, apparently aiming straight for you. Finally, it stands before you, blocking your path to the heart.

    "You have done well to make it to this place, King of the Spiders, but your life ends here. The Changer of Ways has tasked me with your destruction, and I shall not fail!" The creature shrieks, and then swings its staff at you.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:09 No.8880109
    Block staff with armored hand. Chainsword fucker in face.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:11 No.8880147

    As the staff makes contact with your hand, it wraps around it, coiling like a snake as its surface bubbles. Screeching triumphantly, the creature lifts you up with the staff, slamming you into the cavern floor repeatedly.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:11 No.8880152
    And then bear hug that fucker and SQUEEZE.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:11 No.8880161
    I like this plan.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:15 No.8880211
    I have a theory as to why this primarch was removed from history.

    Because he and his silencers still roam the galaxy, acting as invisible assassins, carrying out the will of his father. They aren't the sword in front of you, they're the dagger at your back.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:16 No.8880242

    Shit... He's avoiding making direct contact with us with that fucking staff of his.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:16 No.8880248
    being in power armor, and a primarch, I ignore this and continue to give my men orders ala >>8879981.
    Then I attempt to bear hug the chicken.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:18 No.8880283

    As you shout orders to you men, the daemon continues to smash you against the ground. Each impact makes a crater, and you can feel your armor starting to crack and dent.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:21 No.8880325
    Do we have any scouts or crackshots that could shoot the fucker?
    I order whoever's free to bearhug and/or bolter the bitch until he stops.
    unless someone has a better idea.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:23 No.8880354
    Also attempt to break the staff. Either with a ccw, or my fist.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:27 No.8880436

    As your marines try to fight their way to your position, the Lord of Change cackles madly, continuing to slam you around. With your free hand, you stab at the staff encircling your arm with your free Spider Fang, severing it from the piece the creature is holding. It shrieks as the staff melts, and you land on your feet before the beast, injured but still in fighting shape.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:29 No.8880462
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:30 No.8880483
    This. Combined with repeated knifings.
    Lot's and lot's of knifings.
    Oh and a TO ARMS BROTHERS or something.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:32 No.8880512
    I wonder why our marines are wearing Mk8 Armor when it hasn't been invented yet.
    1. Remove stupid neck bullshit
    2. Replace with beakie helm.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:32 No.8880530

    You charge, your Spider Fangs poised to strike, as the creature makes some odd motions with its talons. It seems surprised when you sink an arm elbow-deep into its torso.

    "What... Are... You?!" It gasps, staggering backwards, incandescent lights emanating from the open, smoking wound.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:35 No.8880557
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:35 No.8880565
    "My name is Rachnuz Rageous, tell your masters my name when you return to the hell you were spawned from."
    Then FINISH HIM.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:37 No.8880602

    The Lord of Change shrieks in rage as you deliver your message, and then proceed to tear it in two from the hole in its torso. The pieces vanish in a puff of foul blue smoke, and you can see the hordes of its minions gibbering in agitation as they begin to fade.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:37 No.8880606
    Or ram beaky helmet into hole, and wear him as a hat for the rest of the battle.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:40 No.8880662
    Continue calmly with the map gettan' and heart of the planet shootan'.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:42 No.8880689

    As the daemons fade, you and your troops approach the heart. Light flashes across its surface, growing faster and faster as you draw nearer to it.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:43 No.8880703
    Don't bother looking at THAPRETTYCOLRZ just destroy it.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:44 No.8880710
    formulate an appropriate escape plans in case destroying this in some way will fuck us over.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:44 No.8880722
    Assign some men to make the plan, whilst others and I shoot it.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:45 No.8880730

    Unceremoniously, you pull out your bolter, and pepper the heart with bolts. A great keening fills the cavern, evolving into the laughter of a madman as the heart deflates and begins to turn to smoke.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:50 No.8880813
    if this was my only goal. begin to leave.
    Otherwise, form defensive patterns and prepare to shoot the first thing we see.
    Both actually.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:51 No.8880843

    As you prepare to move out, your vox crackles. "Rachnus, It's Alpharius. Whatever you did down there, it worked! Their defenses are crumbling, the city will be ours in an hour, the planet within a week!"
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:52 No.8880861
         File1269985971.jpg-(66 KB, 400x500, tacmarinepossibility.jpg)
    66 KB
    OP I hate to be a pedantic ass bugbear, but Mk. 8 Errant armor was not around until after the horus heresy.

    Pic related as more of a bastardization of Mk.6 Beakie and Mk.4, which is more historically accurate.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:53 No.8880865
    move out victoriously.
    But defensively.
    And most quickly.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:54 No.8880892
         File1269986091.jpg-(69 KB, 400x500, tacmarinepossibility2.jpg)
    69 KB
    Pic2, more white less sand colored.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)17:55 No.8880908

    So noted, and saved.


    You make back it to the surface with only token resistance, to find Alpha Legionnaires everywhere, sweeping the city for resistance. Alpharius slaps you on the back as you emerge from the tunnels. "Excellent work Rachnus, I'm not sure we would have been able to take this planet without you and your Legion. I have some news that you must hear as soon as possible."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:56 No.8880929
    Look at him expectantly.
    Also, why does he like us? we're a Null.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:58 No.8880946
    This. No sense in interrupting Alpharius, but (especially given his reputation) we must consider his motives in politeness.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)17:58 No.8880960

    Alpharius was always a bro.


    In that vein, postpone news until a proper brofist has been executed.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)18:03 No.8881044

    Alpharius runs a hand across his head, looking somewhat embarrassed. "Father has called a meeting for all of his sons... I'm not sure what it's about, but we're to meet him on the planet Ullanor in a month's time. Apparently Horus' legion had some great victory, and he wants to celebrate it, but I get the feeling that's not the whole truth."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:04 No.8881069
    Nod your head. "If we needed to know more than that, he would have told us."

    Now I think we need a casualty report.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)18:05 No.8881086

    Brofist execution: Success!

    Now /tg/, I must ask you something, because it's about to become relevant. Would you prefer the quest continue in the realm of canon where the primarchs are concerned, or /tg/'s own canon (Rowboat Girlyman being a self-important puss, Russ a wolffucker, Lion was actually traitor, etc.)?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:08 No.8881148
    We have already FUCKED canon by resurrecting a lost primarch.
    I say we continue in /tg/ canon. though
    >Lion was actually traitor
    is not /tg/ canon.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:08 No.8881158

    It's a tough question... although /tg/ generally tends to just take existant character traits and exaggerate them, so it could work out fine with a bit of an exaggerated canon.

    [Also, I personally like the interpretation that the Alpha Legion is still loyal, pulling off the greatest troll since forever.]
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:10 No.8881197
    rolled 48 = 48

    Own canon. Although I prefer to think of Russ as an alcoholic idiot savant who acts like a fratboy.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:13 No.8881245
    Fulgrim: Enormous Faggot, Jaghatai Khan: Biker Gang Leader

    etc. etc. etc.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)18:19 No.8881352

    /tg/-ish canon it is, then.


    A month later, your fleet emerges from the warp. Below lies the planet Ullanor, and you can see even from orbit the great machines of the Mechanicus grinding the northern continent flat. In orbit hang the fleets of the other Legions, each bearing their chapter's colors - The blue and white of the Ultramarines, the black and white of the Dark Angels, the red of the Thousand Sons... And your legion, taking its place amongst the ships of your brothers.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:24 No.8881442

    Play chicken with Roboute's battle barge.
    Wait, on second thought, don't.
    But think about it and chuckle.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)18:28 No.8881477

    As you stare out the window of your ship, chuckling quietly to yourself, you can hear the door to your quarters open. You recognize the footfalls as belonging to Fal.

    "My lord." He says, removing his helmet and bowing. "Horus has invited all of the Primarchs to join him aboard his Battle Barge tonight."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:35 No.8881588

    All right, we need a plan for a sufficiently spidery entrance. How arriving at the very last second and being seated and in a drinking contest with Leman Russ before our docking request has even been relayed?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:38 No.8881626


    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:41 No.8881673




    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:41 No.8881674

    ... We're going to do a drinking contest over teleconference or something?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:43 No.8881702
    Clearly we need to admire Gullimen and consider him our spiritual liege.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:44 No.8881725
    Roboute and Guilliman are twin brothers
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:44 No.8881730


    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:45 No.8881733

    Now, we need to be QUICK LIKE SPIDER
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:47 No.8881784
    "Lord?" Says Fal, jerking you out of your reverie. "We have your ship prepared, when you're ready."
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)18:48 No.8881791


    This is why it's a bad idea not to post in other threads while running a quest.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:56 No.8881927
    What happened to those friends of ours from our childhood beyond Fal? Caustus and whatshisface.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:56 No.8881930
    "Of course Fal." then proceed to ship
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)18:58 No.8881960
    also begin planning epic entrance.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:01 No.8882010

    Half an hour later, your ship docks with "Vengeful Spirit", Horus' flagship. As you disembark, you can hear the sounds of the other Primarchs approaching, as they head towards the ship's Great Hall.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:04 No.8882053

    Continue to great hall, real spider-like. Also, see if we can seat ourselves next to Alpharius, he's been nice to us. (and is also pretty sneaky, like spider.)
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:06 No.8882107
    be sure to kick the door down and the first fucker to say something negative punch him in the face then proceed to brofist everyone else.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:08 No.8882135

    Ahead of you, down the corridor, you can hear Magnus' voice. "Oh, shit, I've got a headache coming on... Please don't tell me Horus didn't ask Rachnus to come to this gathering." An uproarious laugh, and then Leman Russ' voice. "You know bro, that's what you get for all your witchery! That fucker's just unnerving to the rest of us, but to you - Well, I'd say it's karma."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:11 No.8882181
    enter the room and proceed to BEAR HUEG Magnus then throw Russ a knowing grin.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:11 No.8882192
    also brofist for russ
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:14 No.8882248

    You round the corner and enter the great hall, hugging Magnus tightly as he grunts in pain, and proceed to brofist Russ, who slaps you on the back. wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Rachnus, you sneaky bastard, I should've known you'd be hiding around here somewhere!" He guffaws, as Magnus seizes the opportunity to draw some distance between the two of you, rubbing his temples.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:15 No.8882275
    State that Magnus needs a hug loudly!
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:19 No.8882329

    Magnus responds with a raised digit, as Jaghatai walks over to you. "Rachnus! It's been so long since the last time our Legions worked in concert, last I heard you were breeding spiders for war!" He chuckles at the thought.

    "You know, spiders aren't sufficiently reliable to be of use to the Astartes." Says a voice behind Khan, and the three of you groan silently as a familiar blue-armored figure joins you.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:22 No.8882377
    Punch that fuckers shoulder pad, punch it.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:22 No.8882382
    tell him to shut up or you'll tell dad!
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:25 No.8882422
    kick him in the dick
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:26 No.8882438

    Roboute strides up next to Khan, looking at the three of you matter-of-factly. "You know, someone really should standardize the battle tactics of the Astartes Legions... Someone with a head for tactics... Someone who could do away with all this ridiculous cavalry nonsense..."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:26 No.8882449
    tell him he's a pussy and he should go get fucked, but he's too straight laced for that, so then he can go fuck himself.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:27 No.8882454
    "Naturally it shouldn't be you who would write it then, brother."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:27 No.8882462

    "Spiders, beloved brother, are wonderfully reliable creatures. All you have to do is accept that a spider will be a spider and does not wish to be a tank, as carmine will be carmine and does not wish to be ultramarine."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:29 No.8882492
    Reply condescendingly and go back to your fun.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:30 No.8882517

    He raises an eyebrow at you. "Oh, then who's going to write it? Alpharius? YOU?" He laughs, slapping you and Russ on the back. "Let me know when you chumps need a REAL tactical genius." He walks away, guffawing, as Russ fingers the pommel of his sword. Jaghatai stays his hand. "Let him go, he's got his head so far up his ass there's no room for your sword."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:31 No.8882519

    This might also fit to

    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:31 No.8882533
    "I don't really feel like writing a master piece at the moment but when i do i'll vox you and you can serve as my ink retainer."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:34 No.8882571
    rolled 81 = 81

    Laugh heartily. That was an awesome burn.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:35 No.8882576

    "Yeah, let's ignore him. It's not like he'll ever get anything done, with his dumb-ass conventional approach to tactics."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:36 No.8882600
    "So, guesses on what Horus is up to?"
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:37 No.8882622

    Russ pats you on the back. "True enough, brother! Oh, there's Sanguinius, I need to have a word with him." Russ says, excusing himself as Jaghatai nods at you, grinning slightly, before going to talk to Fulgrim.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:39 No.8882652

    Let's look for Alpharius. Maybe he's found out what's going to happen here.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:39 No.8882660
    rolled 60 = 60

    Let's talk to Sanguinus. He was always a pretty cool guy.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:40 No.8882662
    Go find Horus or Pops to see what this little party is about.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:41 No.8882676

    any of these will do
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:41 No.8882678

    As you weave your way through the group, you bump into Mortarion. He turns, looks at you, and then turns back to Konrad without saying a word. Oddly enough, neither Horus nor Alpharius seems to be present yet.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:41 No.8882679
    Find Alpharius or the Big E
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:42 No.8882703
    Wave at Mortarion and smile. Poor guy always seems so sad.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:42 No.8882708

    Listen in on Mort and Konrad.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:43 No.8882710
    Find our brother from the esteemed Legion XI!
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:43 No.8882721
    go look for dorn and hope he and pertuabo aren't having a shouting match?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:46 No.8882764
    Where the hell is Lorgar? Probably sulking somewhere cause no one else wants to hear THE GOOD WORD
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:47 No.8882779

    Konrad seems to be recounting a lesson he learned from his pre-primarch escapades on his homeworld, with Mortarion listening intently. You feel sort of bad for them, they both had shit upbringings.

    Moving on, you catch a glimpse of the green and gold armor of your brother Tialoc, Primarch of the Sky Serpents.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:49 No.8882813
    rolled 41 = 41

    So that's the other lost one?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:49 No.8882820
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:50 No.8882827
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:50 No.8882839
    awesome. XI legion goodness. Full name Tialoc Ekans.

    ekans = snake spelled backwords. hhurrr durr i so smart.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:50 No.8882842
    Ask Tialoc if he knows what this is about.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:51 No.8882857
    What's his legion's special tactic? I would like to know very much
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:52 No.8882873

    Yep, Aztec-themed legion.


    He turns at you, extending a hand. "Glad to see you could make it, Rachnus. I heard about your conquest of Zeol, quite impressive the way you and Alpharius managed to utilize your Silencers."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:52 No.8882876
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:55 No.8882921

    And now we need Script...
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:55 No.8882925
    thanks bro. So where's Horus or Big-E at?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:56 No.8882938
         File1269993362.jpg-(369 KB, 600x849, 1269559636649.jpg)
    369 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:56 No.8882945
    Shake his hand and thank him. Ask him what he has been up to lately and where the Big E is.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:57 No.8882956
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)19:57 No.8882959

    "Oh, father is not arriving until tomorrow - From what I understand, his ship is still in transit. As for Horus..." He shrugs. "Who can say? I'm just curious as to why he called us here."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:57 No.8882966

    "In truth, it is the case that Alpharius and my approach to tactics do not differ all that much - I am positive that the action would have been not entirely smooth, had I been forced to work with... certain other brothers."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:57 No.8882970
    rolled 71 = 71

    "Well I'm mad as hell, and if he doesn't get here soon, I'm gonna punch someone in the dick!"
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:57 No.8882973
    you can try to twist it around as much as you like but in teh official canon luther is the traitor and the lion is not. hence why his legion serves the emperor to this day.

    unless you think the inner,inner, super inner circle are traitors and are secretly serving chaos than why bother keeping the secret to 99.9% of the chapter who serve the imperium. you'd be way more effective if everyone was on the same page.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:58 No.8882975
    Que dramatic entrance by Horus?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)19:58 No.8882987
    let's pass the time by chatting about battle tactics and get to know each other better
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:00 No.8883009
    Ask Tialoc how his own campaign putting down the feral Slann worlds has been going?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:00 No.8883011
    >quest thread
    >Primarch quest thread

    Double sage.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:02 No.8883029
    We should ask about female companionship if we're gonna be waiting a whole day.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:04 No.8883066

    He nods thoughtfully. "Yes, although I think that the number of Legions that would have failed to mesh well with yours in such unusual circumstances is longer than you may suspect." Just then, you can hear a loud, familiar voice sound above the rest.

    "Brothers! Truly, it has been too long since last we gathered together. Come, let us feast, we have much to discuss!" Horus, appearing from a doorway on the far end of the Great Hall, strides towards the rest of you, Alpharius at his side, as the chapter serfs rush to prepare the dining table, groaning with the weight of food.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:04 No.8883069
    This. Where da white women at?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:05 No.8883090
    Lets feast! For the Big E and the Imperium!
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:05 No.8883100
    >complaining about threads you don't read
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:06 No.8883114
         File1269993984.jpg-(36 KB, 300x354, Haters_gonna_hate.jpg)
    36 KB
    u mad.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:08 No.8883157

    As you all descend upon the table, figuring out where you want to sit, Magnus makes a point of sitting as far from you as possible, and you notice some of the Primarchs fighting for seats NOT next to Roboute. Perturabo and Rogal Dorn are glaring across the table at each other, and Mortarion and Konrad seem to still be engaged in conversation.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:09 No.8883167
    see if you can find a seat between Alpharius and Russ so you can enjoy Alpharius' company as well as challange Russ to an eating followed up by a drinking contest.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:14 No.8883261
    yeah... Alpharius is a Bro, for now...
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:14 No.8883271
    My Wife

    My wife is good looking brown hair and brown-eyed lady approaching her mid forties. She has a great sense of humor that makes her the center of any get together or party. She has a great body, her ass being by far the best part. She typical wears short loose dresses that really shows her off. I am just the opposite of her, people typical avoid me at parties, looking for the opportunity to talk with my wife when I am not around. I am also approaching my mid forties except I am overweight and certainly don't look good in my jeans. My wife said that I embarrass her because of my apparent lack of care of my body and my inability to socialize. Many of her friends often ask her (many times in my presence) why she ever married such a loser. My wife never really answer that questions, she just shrugs her shoulders.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:15 No.8883281

    Also, let's lay off Magnus for a moment and place ourselves as far away from him as possible.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:15 No.8883285
    Our Sex Life

    Our sex life was almost non-existing because of my lack of manhood. My penis was only four and half inches fully erected and very narrow. My wife said that she had better equipped lovers in junior high. My longevity was also an issue, because I couldn't hold my load for over two minutes. I would cum and my wife would give me a disgusting look and roll over to go to sleep. I always had a fetish for asses and over the years I developed a nasty habit of licking my wife's ass while masturbating. I did this while my wife laid in bed trying to sleep. Once I would complete my wife would call me a "pig" and go to sleep.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:16 No.8883309

    There's a seat open between Alpharius and Vulkan, so you take it, as the rest of the primarchs finish finding their places. It looks like Lorgar and Angron are fucked, they both ended up next to Roboute.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:17 No.8883322
    I became More Perverted

    Over the years I became more perverted, not only did I want to lick my wife's ass but I had an overwhelming desire to eat her shit. I tried to make sure I was always around when my wife took a dump so I could immediately run and place my head in the toilet to smell her aroma and hope for any unflushed delights. My wife was not aware of this perverse activity, at least that is what I thought! One Saturday afternoon my wife was getting ready to go shopping, performing her usual bathroom routines, and as usual she sat on the toilet to take her afternoon dump. After hearing the toilet seat go down I knew this was my queue to get ready to perform my perverse act as soon as she left the bathroom. After a minute or so my wife opened the door and walked out of the bathroom and said, "enjoy" as she walked downstairs and out the front door. I realized that she forgot to flush the toilet!
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:19 No.8883366
    Well lets take a seat I guess, ask Alpharius what this is about.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:20 No.8883373
    God this is gay
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:21 No.8883392
    Vulkan makes me uneasy. Spiders and fire do not good companions make.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:21 No.8883393

    ... I suddenly understand why Angron is always raging. If the sitting next to Gulliman thing is regular, he's actually shown incredible constraint...

    Well, do like a spider and observe! (Unless somebody starts a conversation)
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:21 No.8883406

    "It's got something to do with geneseed, that's all I know." Alpharius replies, as Horus stands, holding his hands for silence.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:22 No.8883421
    I quickly ran to the toilet, the lid was still up and the bowl was filled with a slight yellow tint water with two sheets of toilet paper and three small dark turds floating about. My heart was pounding in delight as placed my head in the bowl to smell my wife's beautiful stools. I lowered my head further down into the toilet, lightly pressing my lips to one of the beautiful turds, causing it to float across the water to the other side of the toilet. I then use my tongue to lick the tops of each turd as the floated in a circle around the toilet I Lowered my opened mouth over the smallest stool and began to suck it up into my mouth. The stool was firm and slick as it easily entered my mouth. It tasted slightly tart and sweet at the same time. I began to swallow allowing it to move across my tongue to the back of my throat where it momentarily hung. With another swallow my wife's stool slide down my throat. Just then I heard my wife say " was it tasty" I looked up and there stood my wife looking down on me with a disgusted look on her face. She then walked overt to the toilet and looked at the other two stools and said "go ahead pig, eat the other two and don't forget the toilet paper ". I did as I was told as she watched and "oooohed" at me. After I completed my meal, she walked out of the bathroom and left the house without saying a word.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:23 No.8883468

    I hope nobody's being declared a spiritual liege. Especially not the blue fag.
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)20:24 No.8883485

    Requesting the rights to do a second Primarch Quest when this one finishes, for Tlaloc.

    Unless you intend to do it of course.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:25 No.8883495
    The Next Few Weeks

    For the next few weeks very little conversations to place between my wife and I. My wife treated me very differently, never asking but always demanding. It seemed liked everything became my job, including cleaning the toilets. My wife told me that I was a natural for that job. My wife knew that I had fetish for her ass and started using it for her entertainment. She would unexpectedly pull her shirt up and stick her ass in my face, asking for kiss. As I would place my mouth to her asshole, my wife would leave gas and giggle as I inhaled and continued to kiss her ass. My wife's habits began to change, she started working out again at the gym. Several nights a week she would go out with her friends dressed in a minishirts and heels. She started wearing her sexy lingerie and making sure I saw it before she left. The only sexual play we had was limited to my wife sitting on my face allowing me to fuck her asshole with my tongue while a jacked myself off. She would giggle as she puckered and contracted my tongue in and out of her hole, saying, "come on little ass licker, wank your little winnie, and clean my ass". After I would shoot my load my wife would shit my tongue out, look over her shoulder and stick her tongue out at me and leave gas. All of this was very arousing to me and my wife knew and was determined to play it out for all it was worth.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:25 No.8883519
    let's listen...
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:30 No.8883601

    When silence is finally reached, Horus lowers his hands. "Let me begin by saying how happy I am to see you all again. I can't remember the last time we were all in the same place, but by Terra it's great to see you all at once. The Great Crusade has been coming along well, with system after system being brought back into the guiding light of Dad. But I did not ask you all here merely for an excuse to catch up and trade war stories." Horus closes his eyes, rubbing his temples for a minute before he resumes. "The reason I asked you here is because of an order our father gave me yesterday, one which affects us all, and which I wished to bring up to you all in private, away from the eyes of your Legions, so that you might best decide how you want to tell them."
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:31 No.8883630

    All yours, good sir, but do me a favor and make sure they're archived so I can read them if I'm not around when they go on.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:32 No.8883656
    Matt Ward does NOT approve!
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:33 No.8883678

    That's a stamp of approval in my book.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:35 No.8883708
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:36 No.8883733
    p.s. we're spiders and bros with alpharius, we have to fall when the times comes, if just to unleash spidery death on ultramar.
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)20:38 No.8883771
    You got it. I'll start on the overall idea.

    I'm writing some 40k/Fullmetal Alchemist crossover fiction too, but this should be easy enough to keep up with.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:38 No.8883773
    But we're also bros with Russ and Khan, apparently? YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART, HORUS.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:38 No.8883783

    Horus waves his hand to quiet the murmuring. "Dad's ordered a tithe of geneseed from each of our Legions. It's nothing big, just 1% of whatever's not already in your Astartes, but I realize this may be more of an issue for some of you than others."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:39 No.8883790
    I don't know. It'd probably take a whole lot to make a chapter comprised largely of nulls fall to Chaos, and the logistics of it would make us a pretty useless heretic.
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)20:39 No.8883793
    This. I say we go full-neutral out of refusal to fight our Bro's.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:39 No.8883808



    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:40 No.8883818
    Good point.
    But FUCK if we are going to be a motherfucking codex chapter.

    Might be a problem for us, do we give them geneseed from our silencers?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:40 No.8883831
    You're thinking about this the wrong way.

    We could keep Alpharius loyal. We could condemn Guilliman.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:41 No.8883833
    "I don't see how this is worth getting us all together. What's the real news?"
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:41 No.8883838
    1% of our unused geneseeds? No problem, Dad.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:41 No.8883842
    we don't fall, just we do our own damn thing because Roboute is a fucking prick
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:43 No.8883864
    Father knows we are a null. he's an ULTRAPSYKER, and has come near us.

    So, we give him the seeds withour further ado.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:43 No.8883872
    I think we should protect Big E with all our might. But try to avoid deadly force.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:44 No.8883889
    I like this. Neither the Ultramarines nor the Alpha Legion ever really got involved in the main conflict, they just fought each other. When whoever ends up winning Terra (do we even care?) shows up, we simply decry the Ultramarines and praise the loyalty of our bro Alpharius. Word of 2 primarchs against 1. Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:44 No.8883898

    Horus chuckles, smiling at you. "You were all here anyway, and your legion, Rachnus, is one of those that might have problems with geneseed tithes. I thought it might be appreciated if I gave you all a head's up before dad makes the order official. Now, with that said, let us feast!" He says, taking his seat once more, as the rest of the primarchs begin to heap their plates with food.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:45 No.8883909
    >Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
    OH I GET IT.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:45 No.8883910
    rolled 76 = 76

    "I don't take orders from you Horus. Father is the only being I answer to."
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:45 No.8883918
    ...wait. Why would we have problems with a geneseed tithe? Is our geneseed unstable or something?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:46 No.8883924
    Lock eyes with Russ.
    We know what we must do.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:47 No.8883942
    We have an entire unit of fucking NULLS.
    I don't know what that does to geneseed, but this is 40k, so that could be ANYTHING.
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)20:48 No.8883970

    It causes the DNA to be in the shape of a spiderweb. That's what.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:48 No.8883976

    Horus raises an eyebrow at you, but says nothing, just smiling knowingly before digging into a large piece of meat.


    Your geneseed has a 1-5% chance of destroying the soul of whoever it's implanted into, leaving a Null, so... Yeah, it might not be the best.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:48 No.8883981
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:49 No.8883994
    see >>8883924
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:50 No.8884011
    I'm not sure if I approve of that being said...
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:50 No.8884020
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:51 No.8884030
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:53 No.8884073
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:53 No.8884074
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:55 No.8884116
    we're obviously the founding chapter of the angry marines.
    It makes sense that we'd pioneer the strategy.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:56 No.8884119
    Oh. Well. So? I don't see how that's a /bad/ thing. Nulls are freaking useful.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:56 No.8884121
    just wait till the necrons show
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:57 No.8884140

    You catch Russ' eye, grin, and pick up the closest gravy boat, chucking it at Roboute's head. It hits him and shatters, covering his head with gravy. "WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?" He yells, standing up and looking at your end of the table.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:58 No.8884153
    By the way, fluff says that the Blank/Null field doesn't have anything to do with the soul, but is a special electromagnetic disposition of the brain generating a field. The Empire should know that - after all there are mechanical Null Field generators (see for example Apocalypse).
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:58 No.8884159

    This, a million times. Spiders can eat like nobody's fucking business.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:58 No.8884166
    He's the only primarch we dont like, so we shouldn't implicate anyone else.
    Whip something else at him.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:59 No.8884172
    Imperium, sorry, translation habit.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)20:59 No.8884175
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)20:59 No.8884179

    Well derp, guess I need to do my research better.

    Oh well.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:00 No.8884194


    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:01 No.8884209
    I'm just going to pretend you said "Your geneseed has a 1-5% chance of making a Null"
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)21:01 No.8884217

    Do you want to chuck something else, or ignore Roboute and challenge Russ to a chow-off?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:01 No.8884226
    That sounds like a pretty recent thing, the whole point of nulls has always been that they have no souls (not to be confused with NEGATIVE souls like Eversors and Pariahs). Though maybe the brain electrothingy is a result of the lack of soul?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:01 No.8884228
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:02 No.8884235
    Well, how does Russ react to Rowboat?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:02 No.8884238
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)21:02 No.8884240

    Fair enough.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:02 No.8884243
    Chow off! Just get some extra large plates of hot dogs.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:03 No.8884252
    rolled 3 = 3

    Say sorry, and then say that Russ wasn't man enough to take the gravy in the head .
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:03 No.8884261
    Ignore that poster, he is full of shit, the established fluff is that nulls have no souls.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:04 No.8884274
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)21:05 No.8884294

    That's what I thought, but people are free to interpret it as they see fit.


    You challenge Russ, and laughing, he accepts, ordering some of the Luna Wolves chapter serfs to bring him more meat.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:06 No.8884300
    Challenge Russ to a throw-shit-at-girlyman-while-eating-contest.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:06 No.8884308
    rolled 35 = 35

    Try to eat Russ.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:07 No.8884312

    Order even more meat!

    (I mean, we're not gonna win this one, but goddamnit we're gonna lose IN STYLE!)
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)21:08 No.8884338
    If we're winning in style, demand a live grox to eat.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)21:09 No.8884341

    I like this.

    The two of you begin working your way through huge platters of meat, tossing whatever comes to hand at Roboute, who, upon seeing that everyone else is either laughing at his expense or seems to be ignoring what's going on, storms out, muttering something about being the spiritual liege of 60% of the Imperium's Astartes some day.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:09 No.8884344
    rolled 19 = 19


    Challenge Lemon Rush to a lemon eating contest.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:09 No.8884348

    Throw more stuff at Roboute halfway through the eating contest. If we can make Russ laugh, we might win.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:10 No.8884361
    Get Rowboat to join in.
    He needs a loosen up just a bit. And it's his chance to get back at us.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:12 No.8884395
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:12 No.8884398

    Man, now I feel a bit sorry for him. Let's try what >>8884361 is proposing.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:12 No.8884407
    Drawfags goddamnit, where are you?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:13 No.8884409
    rolled 38 = 38

    Rolling to see how we do against russ.
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)21:13 No.8884417

    We perform it via a kickass uppercut that launches an entire half-eaten turky into Rowboat's face.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:15 No.8884447
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)21:16 No.8884466

    I'm sorry, you needed a 10 or lower to beat Russ.

    You eventually have to stop, your power armor feeling a little snug, as Russ laughs, asserting his gastrointestinal supremacy by continuing to eat greedily.

    Anything else you'd like to accomplish that night?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:18 No.8884501

    Well, we bullied Roboute and didn't die in an eating contest with Russ. This night won't get any manlier no matter what we try.
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)21:18 No.8884507
    Fart silently, blame it on Magnus. Insinuate that that his colon is full of daemons.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:19 No.8884514
    Share rousing drinking songs from our homeworld!
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)21:20 No.8884535
    This, but from the Primarch's various homeworlds.

    Begin a glorious quaffing.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:20 No.8884538
    wait wtf is Corax doing? haven't heard shit from him this entire gathering.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:21 No.8884548
    Never hurts to build some bridges: Try convening some one-on-one meetings with some of the primarchs friendlier to us. See what kind of cross-Legion actions we can participate in together.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:22 No.8884560
    I think we need to talk about that geneseed bullshit.

    What do we do about it? Try and nick somebody else's?
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)21:22 No.8884567

    Done. Magnus dislikes the >implication that is anus is haunted, and tells you to, in so many words, go fuck yourself. The next day, the Emprah arrives, and amid much celebration, declares Horus Warmaster.

    AND THAT CONCLUDES TODAY'S QUEST. Next one should be tomorrow, where would /tg/ care to pick up?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:23 No.8884572

    Card games? Monopoly perchance?
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:23 No.8884578
    Is the trouble with the geneseed tithe that we have fewer troops? Even if the null gene does some funny stuff to them why is that our problem? That's for technicians on Mars to bitch about.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:24 No.8884592
    >> Comrade Chairman Ivan 03/30/10(Tue)21:24 No.8884601
    A few battles later, the heresy is just beginning to brew, and we're trying to keep things together without picking a side.

    That's my suggestion anyway.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:25 No.8884610
    No, that may be dangerous. Let's be an honest son and give it to the Emperor, expressing our worry but remaining honest.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)21:25 No.8884617

    Well, the next interesting thing you think comes in the timeline. But no heresy yet, I think we're not quite ready for that.

    (Also, maybe start at a different time, there were a few scenes where I felt like it was only the two of us keeping the entire thing going.)
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)22:01 No.8885120

    The next interesting thing I can think of IS the heresy, so unless you guys have suggestions, I'm either going to have to shoehorn you in somewhere or pull something outta my ass.

    And yeah, I usually start it later in the day.
    >> Anonymous 03/30/10(Tue)22:10 No.8885207

    Hmm, don't see anything either... well, then Heresy it is. If we pull this one off right, there is great potential for crazy amounts of awesome.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 03/30/10(Tue)22:17 No.8885292
         File1270001864.png-(178 KB, 299x421, SkySerpentsTactical.png)
    178 KB

    Well, the heresy spells the end of the quest (Granted, that could take anywhere from one to five threads...), so I'm not sure I want to hit that yet.

    Also, Sky Serpents Tactical Marine for Ivan.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/10(Wed)01:23 No.8888275
    Chill with the Emperor, ask him why he's leaving the front line, etc.

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]