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  • File : 1269287269.jpg-(120 KB, 600x480, Glorious Leader [Small].jpg)
    120 KB Settler Quest: Three's Company Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)15:47 No.8725635  
    You are the GLORIOUS LEADER, having returned after a daring grave robbery attempt to your growing warren of goblins. Situated near a river, atop a hill, the warren has been steadily expanding as your loyal digging gobs chuck shovelful after shovelful of dirt onto a growing earthen wall or out of the ditch beyond said wall. The river has become the source of your salvation, a shallow pond dug into the side of it steadily collecting carp as your gobs work to funnel them.

    The lookout post, little more than a plank of wood atop the great tree at the crest of your warren hill, has yielded the same information one of your roadside gobs has. A caravan is approaching your campsite, and the gobs within- eager for bloodshed after so long without war- look to you for guidance. For leadership.

    The caravan appears to be one composed mostly of humans, with a pair of dwarves riding atop the center carriage (Which is, apparently, armored by iron sheets). There's two wagons riding ahead of the carriage, each one covered with a leather tarpaulin and guarded by four bow-wielding humans in total. There's also a group of five humans in chain shirts, armed with solid iron longswords and bulky tower shields.

    A tasty little morsel of violence, no doubt guarding a kernel of something VERY important. And shiny. Important and shiny.

    You're left to enjoy your glorious treasures as you contemplate the goals you set forth last time. (Cap as follows)

    Goals (Pending your gloriously true intervention):
    Ambush caravan
    Meet with bugbears up the river, convince them to acknowledge us as their leader
    Assimilate Black Lotus goblin tribe (You have one of their number captive)
    Call spirits of the last caravan's elves and the new caravan for more information
    Attack human settlement and fishing post
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)15:49 No.8725660
    Build a City on Catan. Trade wood for sheep.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)15:51 No.8725710
    Tribe numbers and related miscellenia:
    142 Goblins, 10 Worgs, 2 Bear Cubs:
    2 out on patrol for Death Lotus (Not returned)
    11 women. Nurturing newborns to be vicious killers.
    6 Diggers working to dig out warren.
    2 Bow guards
    4 Fish-herding
    2 Royal Goblin Guards
    2 Speargobs on the roadside
    5 Speargobs idle (All of which have some basic crafting skills)
    1 Pike-armed speargob watching over Black Lotus captive
    6 Gobs working on crafting shields, spears, rope, and baskets from wicker/weeds.
    4 Gobs working on ditch and wall.
    8 Gobs ready to gather lumber (2 Scouts, 1 speargob)
    3 Gobs training to be worgmasters
    3 Shamans (Ninetoes and 2 Shamans-in-training)
    1 Idle Pike Gob
    84 Newborn Children. (2 weeks to usability, 4 until full maturity)
    -10 worgs currently in their pen, remaining restless and occasionally getting tossed bits of fish.
    -2 Bear Cubs in their own pen as well.

    You have:
    -25 Gold coins and 10 silver and 30 copper
    -10 shovels
    -A few bolts of very comfortable cloth
    -2 gold wedding bands
    -Ten silver nails from one of the more muscular Elves, who apparently was the one that had the book in his backpack.
    -6 Elven corpses with associated paraphenalia (Clothes, backpacks, some lengths of rope, etc)
    -1 Wagon, almost completely demolished
    -Elf Meat
    -Some goblin meat too
    -Delicious ale, six bottles
    -A few satchels of animal poop for poisoning weapons.
    -Fishing net
    -Fishing hooks
    -Poisonous shrooms and antidote shrooms (And some that cause "Smelly wind" and "Overly friendly trolls")
    -Ancestral Bugbear Chieftain skull

    Weapons & Armor on hand:
    -10 axes
    -6 slings made from various pieces of cloth.
    -10 stone-headed axes
    -4 wooden spears with flint tips
    -Your battered iron shortsword.
    -2 Shortbows with 40 arrows in 2 quivers
    -3 Bolas
    -4 suits of scale armor (One worn by you, and two worn by your Royal Guard Gobs Onebrow and Clawfoot)
    -4 pikes
    -1 dwarf axe (Wielded by you)
    -2 poisoned iron daggers (Black Lotus poison)
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)15:52 No.8725738

    It should be noted at this point that the women have just given birth, a sign generally viewed as favor, with only one female dying (Her litter, being particularly vicious, clawing their way out of her). Even though you've lost one woman to the vicious birthing process, Ninetoes is happy to report a whopping eighty-four mouths to feed. Delicious fish for everyone! And maybe a sip of your private stash of ale. Maybe.

    A city? A glorious city, indeed! Your current population could found a new city, should you dare look towards the heavens!

    Or you could just enslave those humans in the not-too-distant village down the road and just use their little village to form your new, glorious Goblintopia. Except without the meta-humor and long wait times between shit getting done.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)15:53 No.8725747
    Aw yeah Settler Quest. How late is it? Any chance the Caravan might stop for the night?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)15:56 No.8725794
    Any chance we can magic up some scrying magic or something to get a more exact idea of what's in the caravan?
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)15:59 No.8725857
    It's around midday-slash-dusk by the time you get the news. They're not THAT far out from the village, but if nature were to intervene and, say, rocks fall in their way...

    You could probably waylay them a bit. Ninetoes, his hands still bloody from anointing the newborns in a mixture of fish, worg, and gob blood, looks at you with a broken-toothed smile. "Scry? Yes, I can scry! Blood is all-seeing. Blood is everywhere...yes, Glorious One, I can have the world work with one such as I."

    Ninetoes seemed a bit off for his usual form, but that was likely due to a mixture of smoke and blood fumes inhalation. Or something. "What do you wish to know, Glorious Leader?"
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:02 No.8725893
    "What those weakling have that we can take."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:03 No.8725917
         File1269288216.png-(647 KB, 800x1159, BearGobbo.png)
    647 KB
    That character looks a lot like this comission I did yesterday.

    So, here's some contribution.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:03 No.8725920

    which is the most dangerous
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:05 No.8725968

    Rocks seem like a good idea. Find a way to throw rocks in the path, preferably by non-magical means as we might want to conserve some of our magical prowess in our forces for actual fighting.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:07 No.8725993
    that is still awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:08 No.8726019
    to simplify things i suggest to create a "cast" system: choose the youth worth of being warrior trough a tournament system, and let the others do the digging/crafting while the warriors train. Obviously if something happens everybody can be called to fight, possibly putting the veteran pointing a spear to their back
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:09 No.8726039
    send the wood goblins out to cut the smaller less noticeable limbs off of nearby trees.

    after we attack.

    for the attack, block off the road (rocks or a tree). get all your gobs you can arm with weapons and the rest can use cloth slings to thro stones
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:10 No.8726051
    I keep picturing the goblins as the minions from overlord.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)16:16 No.8726175
    Ninetoes nods, looking at his bloodslicked palms. You don't notice anything particularly MAGICAL about the fact that he was doing that. You expected, well, torrents of blood. Or, at the very least, some scary chanting and perhaps the occasional scream as the shaman invoked the power of the gods.

    Instead, you were treated to a quiet affair, the shaman grumbling to himself for a few moments before looking back to you. "The...dwarfs. Yes. Travelers. Adventurers. They are skilled, but their death is written. In blood."

    He gives a short pause before exhaling, shaking his head vigorously. A few flecks of spittle hit the ground in the former bear cave, that now serves as your private den.

    "And...wealth? Lots to take. Too much. Women. Drink. Weapons. Coin. So much deliciousness, too, Leaderrrrr."

    It certainly is! I still have it saved on my PC.

    You assign the three "Worgmaster" gobs to begin shoving rocks into the roadway, as well as tasking the two speargobs watching the roadside. They don't need a LOT of debris, but just enough to make it annoying for the caravan to progress without busting one of their fancy wheel-thingamajigs.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:19 No.8726240
    ready the war band. hand out sheilds, spears and sling to whoever can use them. dont forget to poison the weapons.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:20 No.8726248
    As the one who requested it yesterday, let me say thanks a lot again. It actually is the very same character.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)16:22 No.8726300
    The worth of a youth through tournaments? Sounds a tad like everyday gobbo life. Except instead of ordered tournaments, its making sure that your coworkers don't take a sudden turn for the more intellectual side and decide there's more food to be had WITHOUT you around.

    How many of your gobbos, or which ones in particular (If you care to specify) do you wish to send out on the attack? Correspondingly, how much of your arsenal do you want to throw at the ambush? Any particular tactics, or just, "Rush the stupid humans/their dorf buddies and shed their blood in glorious slaughter!".

    Which, I should mention, is a very viable tactic.

    Overlord? UHH, I mean, Glorious Leaderrrr?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:24 No.8726337
    basicaly put the close cobat gobs on ethir side of the road.hidden. the slingers near them. when the caravan starts to move the rocks, have your cc gobs charge and your slingers sling.

    yourself, the wargs and bear cubs shsll be s bit farther back so that you can charge them from the rear
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:26 No.8726370
    all the goblins save for 5-6 to gaurd the hq and the women and kids
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:28 No.8726406
    and as >>8726240
    said give it everything we got
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:29 No.8726418
    Take at least as many Goblins as we have weapons. Hand the best stuff to the toughest and oldest, and when you run out of weapons take a handful or two of the youngsters as well and tell them to attack with sticks and stones, or their teeth if they must.
    Have your shamans set up some sort of dust, fog or smoke cloud to confuse the humans, then charge them, using the younglings as living shields to protect your elite. Take the bowmen out first, then concentrate on the dwarves and longsword users. Ideally, your shamans should zap the latter with their magic to soften them up a bit before you take them on.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)16:33 No.8726486
    You have the following trained military forces. Gobs beyond that should be considered "untrained".
    4 Pike-bearing Gobs (2 Royal Guards, armored in scale armor in addition to pikes)
    2 Bow gobs bearing shortbows, each with 20 arrows.
    8 Speargobs armed with flint-tipped spears and reed/wicker shields.
    6 Axegobs (Formerly lumbergobs, but just as good on flesh as they are with wood) with stone-headed axes.
    2 Scout Gobs, even sneakier than your average gob, armed with stone-headed axes
    3 Worgmaster gobs, capable of taming and easily riding worgs. All other gobs can ride worgs just fine, but these are better-er at it.
    10 fully-grown worgs. Vicious worgies. Play nice!
    2 Bear cubs. Treat with care, or not.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:33 No.8726496
    rocks from above can also be used as weapons, not only to block the passage
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)16:36 No.8726545
    Rallying almost the entire camp except for the women and chil'ren, you get a grand total of forty-seven gobs ready to make war. Of which, a good portion are quite well trained in warmaking. The remainder, you suppose, will do the gruntwork.

    You also have the elite diggers amongst this militia core. Though not trained in DIRECT combat, you suppose they could do quite a bit of good (Or bad, depending on your point of view) for the pre-battle work.

    Also, don't forget the three shamans under your command. Ninetoes and his two underlings are powerful examples of the Goblin policy of "Might makes everything alright!"
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:37 No.8726564
    maybe it's better to avoid using the cubs... we should wait until the caravan stops because of the debris and then start having LOT of gobs throwing stones, placing 3/4 of our forces behind the caravan and the others (possibly the worgs) in front of them to avoid an escape.
    When we run out of stones we charge and kill
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:38 No.8726578
    ITT: Goblin Commander

    also when can we annex the red goblins and get their lumberjack chainsaws?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:41 No.8726623
    poorly spelt but sounds good. the diggers could make a small ditch to catch the wagon wheels. the shaman could work with the slingers.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:41 No.8726626
    What are the shamen capable of, combat-wise?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:49 No.8726773
    The diggers should put some quick pit traps on either side of the road for the guards to fall into as they try to engage us.

    Have a tree ready to fall behind them and cut off escape as they stop for the rock pile.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:50 No.8726787
    Well, Ninetoes was able to call lightning to zap the fuck out of a tree. Which saved our sorry ass.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:50 No.8726793
    Simple. They'll do what we ask of them. They'll find a way to please us. If not, they can join the front row in the charge.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:51 No.8726806
    When we attack, it should be from all directions. We have more than enough numbers to surround and swarm, and keeping the humans from making any sort of coherent battle line is important.

    Our warg riders should be able to run down anyone on a horse. That's important because horses are delicious, and cavalry are dangerous bastards.

    Attack in the middle of the night if we can. Silly humans can't see in the dark. And our scouts can be sent in to sneak around and kill people while they're sleeping prior to our attack if they've made camp.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)16:55 No.8726864
    Arming your makeshift band to the best of your current reserves, you find yourself mildly ruminating that you don't have enough spears and axes for everyone to pass about. There's enough shields for the up-close combatants, but that still leaves a good portion of your forces unguarded and left with only slings. Slings, of course, are actually the simplest to make and the river provides an endless supply of stones.

    After you destroy their annoying giant-magnifying-glass machine. On rails.

    The shamans are actually quite powerful, and Ninetoes gives one of his regular self-demeaning bows. "We can accomplish a great many things, Glorious Leader! We have gathered enough...supplies for a number of rituals. The book I found has been mildly enlightening, sirrr. But I can at least pick off a few of those pesky humans beforrre I retirrrre."

    As for the diggers, you've already dispatched gobs to blockade the road with some hefty rocks. You could dig and cover something to catch the wagon wheels if you were really inclined, Oh Glorious Leader, but the immediate goal here- to stop the caravan from fleeing- has been accomplished.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:55 No.8726870
    Take everyone able to chuck rocks. The women and children should shut up and stay in the warren.

    Rock pile blocks the road, and have that tree ready to fall behind the last wagon so they're blocked in.

    The shamans should magic targets proving difficult for us.

    Everyone else able to use a weapon takes one, all the rest are going to chuck rocks. Have hidden pits or trenches along the side of the road.

    The worg riders will strike at an opportune moment. Zip in at noncombatants and haul them off to distract the convoy's fighters--but they should keep an eye out so they don't get killed in the process.

    Leave the bear cubs to guard the camp in their own fashion. Let's wait till they're bigger for real fighting.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:56 No.8726890
    Oooh, attacking in the dark sounds nice, too. Maybe our shamans can blot out the moon and the stars, and curse the flame of their torches to not burn.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)16:57 No.8726901
    >>Attack in the middle of the night if we can. Silly humans can't see in the dark. And our scouts can be sent in to sneak around and kill people while they're sleeping prior to our attack if they've made camp.

    This. It won't stop the dwarves, but they'll be our first target. We can take them out with our poison daggers, or have the shamans strike them with magic, or just mob them before they're ready.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:00 No.8726938
    Idea for using the women and children: bring them along, but they don't engage in combat. They stay positioned around the outskirts of the battle and shout/bawl at the top of their lungs, making it sound like our numbers are greater than they actually are.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:09 No.8727083
    mission:steal their shit
    side- misson:kill them

    atttack plan:

    attack in a U shaped formation hand to hand gobs, slingers and shamen on ethier side. your self and the wargs behind them ready to attack any caravaners who look like they will put up a good fight. leave the road ahead (that the wagon cant pass though) empty. hopefuly they will see a escape route and try to take it. it will be easer to kill them if they run and if the escape we still get a wagon full of loot
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)17:15 No.8727191
    Thankfully the rocks are a fair ways ahead, so the efforts of your loggers don't appear to be noticed. Working quickly, they hack at the trees, readying a large oak to tumble over with a friendly heave-ho.

    Readying everything, you and your gobs prepare. The shamans indicate that, yes, they could easily make the campsite total darkness when the caravan gets stuck and holds out for the evening. They could even go so far as to, possibly, be able to overcome the hardiness of the dorfs and maybe even manage to kill one of them. Or, if the Gods were REALLY favoring them, both.

    The humans, though, look fairly alert as they march alongside the carriage and the wagons. You scouts keep pace with the flanks of the assembly, ready to slip in when they're resting and start hacking open skulls with their axes.

    The actually trained gobs are holding their ground, whilst those carrying the slings and bearing improvised weapons are chittering eagerly amongst themselves. The sun has fully set by the time your ragtag band is in position.

    The worgs howl towards the moon as the Ninetoes and the shamans begin their ritual. Cursing can be heard from the caravan as the men fan out. Several human men, dressed in fairly nice clothing, emerge from the lead wagon with tent stakes and tarps in hand. Loose kindling is gathered, and one of the soldiers grabs an axe from the carriage and begins to head into the woods for lumber.

    He is slowly heading towards your position, looking for a suitable tree. Do you wish to spring the ambush now, or do something else?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:17 No.8727228
    Sneak behind him and poison dagger him from behind. It works fast, and that'll give the shamans time to finish their ritual.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:18 No.8727266
    What about just blinding the dwarves, would that be easier than outright killing them with magic?
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)17:21 No.8727313

    This, we're small and fast; if they can't see us we're golden.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:24 No.8727392
    try to kill the lone gaurd quickly. one of the poisoned dagers should be good for that. if it works try to pick them off one at a time.

    if it fails have the slingers sling and the hand to hand gobs charge. your self and the worgs wait and watch for any problems
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)17:25 No.8727401

    And quietly.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:26 No.8727428
    /tg/, I looked forward to some awesome bugbear ghost shenanigans after I proposed that and had to bail out. I was disappoint. Do we still have to skull, or is that plan gone completely?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:26 No.8727430
    Have we used the poison mushrooms?

    Make up a poison and coat the arrows with it.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)17:27 No.8727453
    It's possible, but Ninetoes says that dwarves have a good resistance to Goblin magic. Something about that age-old hatred between the races makes it a bit hard to pull the wool over their drunken eyes.

    As your gobs begin to move into position, you- yourself- attempt to sneak ahead. Letting your worg stalk ahead, you draw your dagger.

    D20 to assassinate quietly whilst the shamans do their ritualistic gig. +4 thanks to the guy being frustrated with the impediment, and looking for timber rather than a sneaking gobbo.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:28 No.8727465
    We don't know how fast the poison kills, do we? Might be easier to just try and drop him quickly ourselves.

    Book Keeper, in the last thread you used some D&D terms, and we seem to be D&D-esque goblins/bugbears. Does our Glorious Leader have levels and class? If so, what are they?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:28 No.8727477
    That plan will be implemented after we finish sacking this caravan. These don't come along every day, you know. That bugbear skull's not getting any harder to raise, but this opportunity can be lost if ignored.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:28 No.8727480
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:29 No.8727492
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:29 No.8727498
    rolled 3 = 3

    Just curious if it was still there or not.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:29 No.8727508
    rolled 17 + 4 = 21

    Rolling for stealth/assassination.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)17:30 No.8727509
    You do indeed have the bear skull. As a matter of fact, Ninetoes has already worked out everything TO summon the bugbear ghost. You just decided to raid the caravan as a more immediate thing to entertain yourself.

    The poison mushrooms have been dispersed freely, and the gobs WITH weapons have already coated them in it. This includes the bowgobs.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:30 No.8727515
    +4 gives us 14. Hopefully that's just enough.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:31 No.8727534

    Hmm, since neither of you rolled with that +4, I propose we use this:
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:31 No.8727551
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:32 No.8727557
    And we'll follow that stab up with an axe stroke if needed.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:33 No.8727572
    This needs to come down to hand to hand goblin vs. dwarf combat at one point. I want to start chopping dwarves up with a dwarf axe.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)17:35 No.8727617

    The irony would be... glorious!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:36 No.8727635
    Eh, 14 is pretty good to begin with. Wouldn't mind the 21, but hey, it's up to Book Keeper.
    >> Brutish Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)17:37 No.8727655
    Dwarves are tailor-made to be goblin food. We can use all the good stuff they make, and all that beer and meat builds up to a tasty accumulation of flavouring!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:42 No.8727756

    You know, that makes sense. Once a goblin tribe manages to take down a dwarf city, they get fat, and fill in the dwarven armor quite nicely.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)17:44 No.8727786
    Pfft. Levels? Classes? What are those silly things? You are a GLORIOUS LEADER! Your level is above all, your class is the greatest! You're the classiest since the Classy Leader!

    Sneaking up like only a sneaky Glorious Leader can, you draw one of the poisoned daggers. Your worg doesn't make a sound until you're within a mere few feet of the human...at which point it lunges at the man.

    Stabbing down, you catch the man in the square of the back. He lets out a quiet groan before your sharp, dwarf-forged axe lops his head off. Blood sprays from the stump of his neck as the head goes rolling.

    You can't help but smile in glee. It was so easy to kill with this thing! You barely felt any resistance at all!

    THAT is sharpness. You'd kill to get something that good-feeling again. You only feel happier when you realize that, yes, you'll get that chance again soon.

    You remove the dagger from the dead man's axe as he collapses in the woods. In the distance, the furious movements of the shamans have stopped, and the torches being brandished by the humans on patrol around the carriage seem to be rapidly smothering under a new, fearsome wind.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:45 No.8727814
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:48 No.8727873
    Give his axe to a gob without a weapon. It'll be awkward probably, but it may prove better than throwing rocks.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:48 No.8727882
    Gentlegoblinoids, there is a fruity elf between us! A SPACE ELF!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:49 No.8727899
    signal the slingers and the hand to hand fighters to attack.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:49 No.8727918
    Give it to the biggest goblin who isn't trained in a specific weapon.

    Have the archers aim for the dwarves with their poison arrows, and fire. The shamans should also assist against the dwarves as soon as they're able.

    Everyone else, including the women and children, holler as loudly as you can. Attackers--ATTACK!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:49 No.8727920


    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:50 No.8727939
    >slingers and hand-to-hand fighters

    Um... do you not see a problem with that? At all? Consider the animosity your fellow goblin has for all the rest of goblinkind. Archers, slingers, our hand-to-hand troops hide before them so if the humans and dwarves charge out we hit them in ambush.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:55 No.8728045
    ok signal the slingers and have the close combat gobs defend them
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:56 No.8728072
    No, that won't be enough of an initial surprise. We want to hit them hard with everything we've got from the get-go.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)17:58 No.8728125
    As I said, have the archers and slingers fire and the combat goblins go to ground in front of them. We'll either be engaged in a ranged duel, with the advantage due to our poisoned arrows and tree cover, or they will come out to get us. At that point, the singers and archers make a firing retreat and the hidden combat goblins ambush them while they are moving forward.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:00 No.8728159
    Or we maximize the chaos and strike them hardest before they have a chance to respond.

    If they have mages, they may get light if we give them time.

    Archers and slingers use lanes of fire, just like we'd show them. We don't want the caravan to have time to formulate a plan.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:03 No.8728225
    Ah well I had a good plan but it would have required a roadside ambush. For sake of entertainment here's what I would have done.
    My plan
    Split forces into 3 groups. One group acts as a distraction with the range. Holds position with spear gobs in front and lures attention to one side. Scout gobs sneak in and poison stab some stuff. We and most of the melee charge from the otherside. Worgies do a cavalry charge down one side.

    That said that's no longer an option. Let's call for a Bow-Gob rain and the charge. The worg-gobs should ride in close to the caravan itself spearing and stabbing anything that pokes it's nose out or gets to close. Avoiding the adventurers and melee, focusing on range and easy targets.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:03 No.8728235
    Tossing the axe to one of the fish-herders, you let out a fearsome howl for your goblinoids to begin the assault. The humans make startled sounds as they realize what's going on. Of the dwarves, you can only watch as they simply wait patiently atop the carriage, battleaxes in hand.

    Arrows sail out from the treeline as your bowgobs fire on the dwarves. A constant barrage of sideways-fired shafts pepper the side of the carriage, clattering off its ironclad hide. It's invulnerable!

    Oh wait. No, it's not. Your slingers start lobbing rocks, their inaccuracy more than made up for by sheer weight of fire. Rocks ranging from tiny pebbles to fist-sized stones fill the air. Some bounce off trees or the ground, but most of them fly true.

    The human bowmen suddenly find themselves ducking back as one rock brains an archer, another small boulder crashing into the groin of one of the "innocent" humans loitering around the small holdup site. Worgs howl into the air as they begin to rush forward, the spear-and-axe gobs moving like vicious little monsters.

    Howl after howl fills the air are sharp teeth are bared. A few slingers abandon their posts to join the charging infantry, ready to claw and bite at the swordsmen and to get but a taste of their sweet blood.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:06 No.8728309
    CHARGE! Whoever kills a human may eat their dangly parts!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:06 No.8728311
    Break out the nail-club and axe and go for targets of opportunity on the edge of fights - we want to take heads, but we sure as hell aren't dying for them.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:07 No.8728318

    Awesome, lets press the attack and retain initiative; slaughter them!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:07 No.8728319
    Wait, so the dwarf is invulnerable? Or the carriage? Have any poisoned arrows hit the dwarves?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:07 No.8728325
    Okay, we're going to take on the dwarves ourselves, with a couple of strong fighters backing us up. See if Ninetoes can smack their position with magic or something first. Protest if you want, but being daring is what made us the Bearslayer.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:09 No.8728353
    It'll get us good rep too.

    Plus delicious opportunity to use dwarven axe on dwarf.

    Not that we need to play it fair, having magic backup and normal backup is par for the course.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:11 No.8728398
    As the hailstorm of rocks and arrows continues, you shout for your gobs to go to ground. They do so reluctantly, but simply scamper on their bellies towards the humans. Another of the swordsmen goes down as a poisoned arrow buries itself up to the shaft in his stomach. The dwarves appear to be content behind the iron carriage, with the remaining three archers incapable of getting an accurate shot off thanks to the rocks your slingers keep on lobbing.

    You know, however, that they won't be able to keep it up for long. Either they'll run out of rocks, or your troops will eventually decide to charge forward out of boredom. The shamans appear occupied in chatter with one another, Ninetoes leering at the distant cluster of human swordsmen as they take cover behind their tower shields. Rocks bounce off the wooden frames, arrows snapping fruitlessly.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:12 No.8728424
    OH WHAT.

    Ah man, I only wanted to do that if they game out to get us. We should have kept the momentum.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:12 No.8728425

    Can we burn them out of their iron wagon thing?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:13 No.8728448
    focus on the dwarfs there feakishly tough. they need to die before they stert axeing our goblins
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:14 No.8728450
    We can have our disposable meat-wall dogpile them, and use any opportunity that presents itself to swoop in for the kill.
    Maybe our shamans can use their magic on the environment of the dwarves rather than the dwarves themselves if they prove too resilient to Goblin magic - kick sand into their eyes or something....
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:14 No.8728463
    Better yet, SHOCK THEM.

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:15 No.8728481
    Yeah, we want to blast the carriage, not the Dwarves. Dogpiling them will lead to heavy casualties, I'd prefer to throw them off guard and then get stuck into them as worgs spear them from the side.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:16 No.8728487
    Your Royal Guard Gobs raise their pikes as the shamans agree to aid you. Whipping out your Spiky Board, you feel a bit of blood splatter on you as Ninetoes daubs a quick symbol on your forearm. Your pikegobs are treated to the same effect, and you know- deep down- that there's MAGIC on your side.

    Maaaagiiiiic. What the hell can some puny dwarves, hiding behind their armored carriage, do against that?!

    Also, the carriage itself is nearly indestructible. The dwarves don't seem to have been hit by the arrows, but they're hiding in cover. Whatever injuries they have are unbeknown to you.

    The remaining human swordsmen are currently in a forward-facing shield wall, giving up all pretense of attack in favor of hiding in cover. The archers are doing similar, but instead ducking behind the wagons.

    Humans are smart buggers. You know your own gobs would have risked getting shot or pelted to get to the assured safety of the carriage's flank.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:17 No.8728516
    Worgs into the swordsmen with good backup, less able troops swarm the archers (slinging, shooting as they go). We'll get the dwarves.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:17 No.8728524
    Rear if possible.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:18 No.8728528
    Our worg riders don't appear to have entered the combat yet. Have them flank the humans taking cover and hit them from behind. GIVE THEM THE SIGNAL!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:18 No.8728553
    Oh yeah, this definitely. Scrap the direct charge.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:19 No.8728567
    Focus fire on the archers, using slingobs to move around the carriage until they can shoot them, and borgobs ready to shoot any human that tries to lean out and take a shot.
    Everyone else can hold the stalemate until we have range superiority.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:20 No.8728591
    Could we get a MSPaint representation of the clearing, our forces and the humans' location around the caravan?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:20 No.8728599
    This, and when we hear him chanting, tell our personal guard to cover their eyes. And do so ourself.

    Most everyone else will get blinded, between that and the magic we'll make short work of the dwarves (if they aren't fried).
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:21 No.8728612
    I wish we could just topple that carriage onto the dwarves, but we're most likely not strong enough, even with a lot of goblins. And I doubt that our shamans have enough juice left to summon a mighty earthen fist.

    Hmm... or maybe we can have someone sneaky try to sneak under the carriage, and try to stab the dwarves in the foot with a black lotus poison dagger?
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:23 No.8728653
    I'm in favour of the stabbing from underneath plan.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:25 No.8728682
    If you had something flammable, sure. The shamans could be used to this effect, but right now they're more focused on keeping you and your bodyguards enchanted against stray arrows or a bit of "Friendly fire".

    With a cackle, you redirect the efforts of your shamans. Chanting together, all three point towards the wagon. With a triple bang, lightning leaps forth to strike the carriage. Once, twice, thrice!

    There's a high-pitched scream from inside as the carriage threatens to tip over. Its massive armor plates have been dented, and are currently smoking furiously. The shield wall formation is temporarily broken, one of the bolts having been opportunely aimed right through the formation to the carriage. Arrows continue to sail as the swordsmen fall back from your onslaught, looking for a way out. The archers are now blindly firing arrows from behind cover.

    You hear a few screams from your own side as lucky shots sink into the carpet of goblins crawling along the forest floor, but it's nothing to lament. At all.

    The dwarfs get out of cover in time for the carriage to fully capsize. Arrows and rocks fly towards the two, but the massive heads of their axes serve as improvised shields. They're positively gargantuan blades, big enough for a bugbear to wield.

    And then you realize just WHY the dwarves are there, in the middle of nowhere, carrying such imposing weapons. It's revealed in their appearance. Stripped down to their waists, torsos tattooed heavily and heads shaven, you realize what the dwarves are.

    Slayers. Dwarf Slayers, no doubt en route to some "Greater" threat to find their suicidal doom. Ninetoes obviously chose to leave this detail out of his augury.

    A sneaky move, right after your own heart.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:25 No.8728688
    Isn't it made of iron? How the fuck is that going to work?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:26 No.8728712
    Well, Ninetoes is getting killed.

    Hmmm, shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:26 No.8728716
    send the worgs to flank the humans, the ones hiding being shields definitely, and the archers behind the wagons if possible. Send a sneaky gob to shank the dwarfs in the foot as per >>8728612. Upon completion of the stabbing, send a strong contingent of infantry gobs to ensure that all dwarves are dead. Continue to use archer and slinger gobs to maintain fire superiority.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:26 No.8728718
         File1269296814.jpg-(39 KB, 624x445, untitled.jpg)
    39 KB
    Should any Goblin ever be enticed to render this battle for posteriority, it is my belief that this is about the best you could expect. Goblins aren't exactly know for their literacy or works of art.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:26 No.8728719

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:27 No.8728725
    >>Ninetoes obviously chose to leave this detail out of his augury.

    Not quite as loyal as some of us were expecting, then.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:27 No.8728741
    We're boned.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:28 No.8728744
    Nah, just not trusted.

    Fuck the dwarves. Slayers or not, we're taking one on.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:28 No.8728762

    Don't say I didn't warn you.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:30 No.8728784
    We need to be careful.

    How many Slayers are there?

    And no, we can't have him around. I do have an idea, though...
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:30 No.8728800

    Idea's are nice, lets hear it.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:31 No.8728808
    We need a plan to weaken these guys, and the ranged objects idea isn't working.

    We're magic'ed up, so are our guards. If we can focus fire on one, we should have a chance.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:32 No.8728832
    Right, so this won't work anymore...send the worgs to take out the archers. It's a small annoyance, but they are killing our gobs, and we need to maintain our numbers. Have the archers suppress the Slayers as much as possible, with that soon to be dead Ninetoes helping them out. Send our melee-gobs to attack the human spear wall from behind. Once the humans are taken out, focus all remaining forces on the Slayers. Poisoned weaponry is a priority in this case.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:32 No.8728834
    It's not important right now, it involves turning the shade summoning onto him. We'll need to talk to an apprentice before we can know if it's feasible.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:32 No.8728842
    >>can't keep him around

    Eh, I dunno. Trying a slightly sneaky move doesn't change the fact that he's probably the most helpful goblin we have. Beat some sense into him later.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:33 No.8728850
    Need to know how many they are.

    Let's not kill Ninetoes right away, in any case.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:33 No.8728868
    Is our axe poisoned too?

    Because in that case, we and our guards engage until we scratch the Slayers, and then back off.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:33 No.8728879
    Well, my plan would involve keeping his body around, but not him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:34 No.8728892
    Just the two I think.

    "Their deaths are marked" indeed. Maybe we should have been quicker on the uptake.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:34 No.8728894
    Well, yeah, we need to keep him around for the rest of the battle. Use him to attack the Slayers with his magic, along with the rest of the shamans and ranged gobs.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:35 No.8728907
    The worgs break out in a wide flanking maneuver, their mounts howling as the Worgmasters bear down on the hiding archers. The lead Worgmaster in particular does a bit of daring bravado in chasing down one of the humans, hamstringing him with a stone-headed axe as he broke from the wagon's cover. The man falls with a scream, his comrades breaking into a full rout as they realize just what magnitude of foe they face.

    Two human swordsmen down.

    A lucky arrow catches one square in the back.

    Make that three.

    In the meantime, the archers launch stray arrows as they try to make a break for the row of rocks. A few of them pepper one of the pursuing worg raiders, causing the beast- and its rider- to tumble to the ground in a heap of dust and upturned earth.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:35 No.8728926

    We'll deal with EIGHTtoes after the battle. At least until the Shamans have finished training, we should probably leave him alive.

    Well, there's two slayers, right? I think we're pretty much dead meat unless some kind of miracle happens, or we come up with a good plan.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:36 No.8728931

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:36 No.8728932
    I would rather take out the lesser threats with our forces while keeping the Slayers suppressed. Then we can focus as many of our gobs on them at once.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:37 No.8728947
    Goblin archers circle around, shoot poisoned arrows in the back. We keep their attention in front but don't engage.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:37 No.8728950
    Right, we need to engage. Ourselves and the pike armed and armoured goblins are going for the slayers, along with whoever else counts as our 'Royal Guard'.

    Send an apprentice shaman and some archers to harass the humans retreat and see what they can do for the Worg and rider, if anything.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:38 No.8728976
    Use worgs and other melee-gobs to take out human shield wall. Suppress Slayers with arrows, slings, and magic. Once the shield wall is down, attack the Slayers in melee, with any gob with a poisoned weapon up front.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:39 No.8728990
    That's probably the best you'll get. My MS paint skills are ABSOLUTE SHIT. But basically, you've flanked the convoy (Which is trapped by rocks ahead). Iron carriage is overturned, with the two dwarf slayers now out in the open, batting away the occasional rock or arrow with the flat of their blades.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:42 No.8729045
    The Slayers can swat arrows and rocks. Or at least hold up their axes to stop it. But they won't share such success against something heavier....

    Have our Spear Gobs start making a circle around the slayers. Trying to seperate them if possible.

    Our multitude of horde is given an attack order against one of them. "GRAB HIS LEGS AND BITE BITE BITE!" We want them to just tackle him and try to bear him down to the ground. Once his ability to dodge is impaired spear gobs can stick him, trying to avoid spearing goblin as well.
    If we see a good opportunity let's throw our Dwarven Axe at one of them. Do it when their otherwise distracted.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:43 No.8729062
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:44 No.8729087
    I mean if we are really sure we can catch one of them in the face with it. Then we can wade in with our spiky stick and Iron Sword.

    Or we can throw another goblin at him. I guess.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:44 No.8729102
    We just blasted their cart with lightning, couldn't be blast THEM with lightning?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:45 No.8729107
    I don't think it's a good idea to throw away our best weapon... also, I'm skeptical if any goblins will arrive at their feet not cleaved in half, to at grab them.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:45 No.8729114
    Why not throw a poisoned dagger?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:45 No.8729128
    Fine. Note to self. Get some throwing spears and other ways to throw bigger things. Arrows and rocks are not enough.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:45 No.8729129
    Engage with ourselves and pikemen.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:46 No.8729146
    Well I was hoping that plan would also fry them as it sounded like they were touching the metal. Oh well.

    What if we challenged one of them to fight? And then didn't fight fair, but it was enough to seperate them?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:48 No.8729202
    Do not want to be bisected.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:49 No.8729206
    We may as well fight fair. I mean, if we're going to lose then call in support but take them on fairly until then. Again, bearslayer. The other goblins liked heroism.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)18:49 No.8729215

    Challenge one to one on one combat, then swarm him; I like it.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:49 No.8729225
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:51 No.8729272
    we don't have the nets used for fishing with us. do we?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:52 No.8729281
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:52 No.8729289
    Well, if all else fails, we can still try to make the dwarves angry - maybe they'll slip on their defense. Like...
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:52 No.8729291

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:56 No.8729374
    The most cruel thing we can do to these Dwarves is kill them in the most un-heroic, for them, manner possible.

    Doing so will require not feeding them goblins until we loose them all. Or letting them lop off our head and then get swarmed.

    Crush them, certainly. But do so on uneven ground.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:56 No.8729385
    Just call them out, one after the other. If it goes wrong our pike/spearmen can cluster in, if it goes right we look AWESOME. If they refuse the challenge tap the dwarf axe on the ground and rub the bear pelt.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:57 No.8729398
    You know... if we killed everyone else and then left, we could just stab the dwarves in the back when they're not looking.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)18:57 No.8729406
    Upon seeing a PAIR of Slayers, you find your battle tactics changing quite rapidly. Your reliance on Ninetoes has come to bite you on the back..."All Goblins are Savage" indeed!

    Moving quickly, the worgmasters finish off the last of the archers. The last of the stones are lobbed at the dwarves, and the bowgobs are down to their last shafts. A few nicks have cut the dwarven berserkers, but even the potent mushroom toxins are only slowing them down. They advance at this point as you direct your eight speargobs to try and jab them apart.

    You succeed in separating them, but at a cost. As flint spears jab at the barechested warriors, the first Slayer lashes out. His mighty axe cleaves one gob in twain, entrails spewing freely as the goblin falls with a scream. The other twirls his battleaxe like a baton, cutting off the tips from the spears of two speargobs.

    But they're divided now, if at a cost. Still, (effectively) three speargobs isn't something you very much appreciate losing.

    The shamans seem entirely spent after the overturning-the-carriage feat, but Ninetoes still manages to lob a small flaming mortar to harass the retreating swordsmen. It doesn't kill any of them, but you can tell they're singed and are sure to not return anytime soon.

    Now the entire focus is upon the Slayers. With a solid forty gobs surviving of your original force of forty-seven, you've taken acceptable losses so far. But those damned Slayers could probably cave half of your entire army in half.

    If you want to join the fray personally, roll to attack either the one to the left or the right.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:58 No.8729415
    wait till one of them is blocking a stone or arrow then throw one of the black lotus daggers at him
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:59 No.8729436
    We're going to call them out in challenge.

    And as one steps forward, we're going to backhand a poisoned dagger at the other one.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)18:59 No.8729440
    rolled 11 = 11

    Take the one on the left, axing all the way.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:00 No.8729458
    rolled 18 = 18

    Rolling for throw.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:00 No.8729466
    We could retreat at this point. Come back in 5 minutes when the battle rage of the Dwarves is subsiding. Give the poison a chance to work as well. Have our worgs run down the humans that routed so we kill them all.....
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:00 No.8729467
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:01 No.8729486
    remember the dager throw is first then the axe attack
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:02 No.8729498
    FUCK YES. First idea in, good idea and good roll.


    Poison will affect, rage will wear out, we'll finish them off in our own time.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:04 No.8729546
    Oh and don't call it a retreat. Go.

    "Okay! Time to go take piss. Everyone into woods! Don't be slow or Dwarvies cut you. We come back soon."

    A _Smart_ Goblin doesn't go toe to toe unless his opponent is weaker then himself. And there's two of them. That's just not fair.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:04 No.8729548
    My plan is to have Ninetoes possessed by one of the dead goblins from this fight. We'll ask him to summon it up quickly after he's weakened by summoning the bugbear spirit.

    Do we know anything about this working? Could ask him about the risks of summoning for information?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:05 No.8729569
    One if the dagger throw works. We don't retreat, we go for the smackdown. See: WE KILLED A BEAR SON.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)19:05 No.8729572
    "Umgi shwine!" The dwarf to the left bristles, his impressive mustache seeming to twitch with his indignation. He spots your battleaxe, and clearly notices its dwarfish make.

    That alone is enough to drive the Slayer forward, bisecting two of your speargobs in half before shattering the shin of the third with a well-placed boot. Shit.

    Your pike gobs look terrified as the enraged dwarf hefts his axe in both hands. With a quick flick of the wrist, you send one of the poisoned daggers at his fellow Slayer's battle. Facing off against two speargobs, the Dwarf has little chance to parry the poisoned blade.

    It sinks up to the hilt in his bicep, the dwarf staring at the blade with momentary contempt before attempting to yank it out. His trials yield little success, his movements becoming sluggish as the dwarf audibly wheezes over the sounds of battle. Backtracking, the poisoned Slayer is quickly put out of his misery as the archery ceases.

    The rest of the goblin horde rises up, moving to bullrush the remaining Slayer.

    The lone surviving Slayer simply growls at you, madness clear in his eyes. He is not afraid to die.

    Sidenote: Is it fitting that Iron Man just starting BLASTING on my speakers as this post began?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:05 No.8729592
    rolled 6 = 6

    Yep. We're the Bearslayer. Take him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:06 No.8729606
    Oh lawd.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:07 No.8729616
    Hrmpf. We may need a new leader.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:07 No.8729619
    At least order a bunch of gobs to jump on his back first. If we abandon our cunning for fury now what kind of Glorious Leader are we?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:07 No.8729633
    Uhh... and by 'take him' I mean rush en masse with spears.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:08 No.8729652
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:09 No.8729668
    can we throw/kick dirt into his eyes?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:09 No.8729680
    rolled 12 = 12

    we can try...
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)19:09 No.8729683

    NOW you're thinking like a gobbo!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:11 No.8729707
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)19:11 No.8729708
    You contemplate, momentarily, entering a fair fight. A proper duel, like the dwarf would expect from an honorable foe. Something he'd be proud to die from.

    Yeah. You just feel WAY too tempted to wreck that image to let this slip by. With a single bark of command, the two Royal Gobs circle around the Slayer. He spins his axe out, catching the worg Onebrow is riding square on the eyebrow. The top of its head is loped off as Clawfoot stabs at the Dwarf's flank, skewering him right on the ass.

    Thankfully, Onebrow seems unharmed as his worg gives out from under him. The pike-gob simply rolls to a stop, trying to scramble back so he can properly use his long stabby weapon.

    Your own battleaxe is swung clumsily, and the Slayer parries it offhandedly as he attempts to work out the pike currently stuck in a very tender part of his body.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:12 No.8729727
    rolled 17 = 17

    Fuck it, let's throw the axe in his mush.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:13 No.8729739
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:13 No.8729746
    rolled 16 = 16

    Let's rush the bastard. Knock him on the ground and finish him off.
    >> Undeniably Green 03/22/10(Mon)19:13 No.8729749

    And ruin the best bits? Just hack the fucker.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:14 No.8729758
    thank god, someone else rolled faster.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:15 No.8729778
    rolled 3 = 3

    If the Axe and Knocking him down work and he's almost dead. Get over there and spiky stick him to death! Beat him in the hand holding the axe until he drops it first and then smash his face a bunch!
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)19:19 No.8729845
    With an expert fling, you find yourself becoming more suited to simply CHUCKING weapons than actually WIELDING them. The battleaxe slams into the Slayer's face as Clawfoot's pike is finally worked out.

    The extremely keen weapon actually goes so far as to peel off everything on the right-hand side of the dwarf's face. His ear, right cheek, and even his right eye are all taken off by the neigh-supernatural edge.

    To his credit, the Dwarf simply whips around. His battleaxe barely skids off of your scale armor, ripping out several pieces of the overlapping metal plate before taking a chunk out of your worg mount's hindquarters.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:20 No.8729861
    rolled 20 = 20

    Have we got anything else to throw?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:20 No.8729874
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:21 No.8729878
    damn. we can poop out more gobs, but worgs...
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:21 No.8729887
    rolled 4 = 4

    Clearly what your post was meant to show is we throw anything on hand, rocks on the floor, at the Dwarf.

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:22 No.8729900
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)19:22 No.8729904
    You do, actually. You have the spiky board in your hand...

    I'm actually feeling pretty lenient. If you DO want to throw your only remaining weapon in a critical hit, just to see if a crit WOULD polish the Slayer off at this point, go for it.

    If you'd rather keep it, and stay armed-yet-uncrit'd, that's fine too.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:22 No.8729910
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729915
    Shhh. You really meant to say that post means we take the next best thing and lob it at the dwarf, didn't you? Surely no Goblin would admit an error.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729917
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729918
    oh boy
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729919
    see if we can't have one of the gobs near the poisoned dagger pick it up and stab the dwarf in the ass, as we bravely distract him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729923
    throw, then retrive our axe
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729924
    rolled 6 = 6

    Holy shit another crit.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:23 No.8729925

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:24 No.8729942
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:26 No.8729968
    Shouldn't we have a second dagger on hand? IF so huck that.

    If not huck a rock, or goblin.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:28 No.8729989
    your right, we stabed the gouar but that dosnt mean we lost the dagger
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:28 No.8729990
    Be incredibly fucking badass. Throw the first dwarf's battleaxe.

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:28 No.8729993
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)19:31 No.8730043
    You know, I...I mean, the sheer ODDS of you rolling TWO twenties...

    You know what? Let's fookin' roll with it, because you're a MOTHERFUCKIN' GLORIOUS LEADER.

    Winding back, you unleash your glorious Spiky Board to seek out the blood of the Dwarf. Apparently, you've got a bit more than even that in your powerful little body.

    The board flies true, the spiked end of the planks aiming perfectly for the Dwarf Slayer's...incoming axe.

    But, entering the fray once more, Onebrow ends up slashing the Dwarf's side. His axe swings about to try and cleave the Royal Guard gob in half for such an irritating blow.

    Only the weapon never connects. Instead, the dwarf ends up completing his spin-around by collapsing on the ground. The Spiky Board, aimed so perfectly by your glorious hand, ends up impaling him spot-on the temple. His brain barely even has time to register dying before he collapses onto his own axe, the blade entering into his belly with a disgusting "Schllurp" sound!

    Glorious victory! But...there's more screaming coming from within the metal carriage, as well as the sounds of panic from the wagons. Looking around for the first time since entering the barricaded "Campsite", you realize that the covered wagons actually have a few very lanky-looking humans in them.

    Humans too stupid to run whilst they, err, didn't really have that much of a chance.

    Stupid humans were delicious.

    Sidenote: Going to take a quick bath at this point. I'll let you guys devise what you want to do with all this. The metal carriage isn't locked, and the voice inside appears to be that of a human female. It's also pretty freaking heavy, and you'd need all of your current worgs to even THINK of dragging it away.

    Full details on what you loot, if you just decide to go FULL LOOTAN MODO, when I return.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:35 No.8730094
    You mentioned some humans running away on foot, send whatever worgs we have after them before we do anything else.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:35 No.8730097
    Pick up the daggers and the slayer axes, so we now have many things to throw.

    I just want to loot really, I'll leave it up to someone more interested to explore the meaning of the captive.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:36 No.8730102
    We've got an army.

    Of course it's full lootan mode.

    We'll use the metal carriage to fortify our enclave.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:36 No.8730111
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:38 No.8730131
    loot everything. and i mean that literalty, take everything but the stones we threw. even the fire wood.

    as for the surviving humans, take them captive. the one in the fancy armoured cart could proballly be ransomed.

    if we decide to kill them anyway we can at least use them to carry the loot back
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:40 No.8730171
    It might be difficult to cover the tracks of it, but sure.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:41 No.8730178
    Actually, i was thinking we do as follows -
    First, we tie her up, then we keep her as a pet of sorts until we break her spirit. Then, we have a human slave who'll do what we want. We can use her for spying human settlements or as a human ambassador if the need arises.
    Dunno what /tg/'ll think of this...
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:42 No.8730191
    But... abominations against nature!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:42 No.8730196
    Yes! A human female! Now we can have her eat one of the mushrooms that make trolls a little *too* friendly, bind her to a tree, and if successfull raise the children as our personal half-troll guard - if she survives.

    Nah, just kidding. I'm all for the 'loot everything and haul it to camp' approach. Clean up, and let grass grow over this whole thing, covering our tracks. Literally. With the help of our shamans, before a search party arrives.

    We can probably use Goblins to transport the normal wagons. No eating the delicious contents, yet. We take EVERYTHING with us to camp, in multiple runs if we have to, then start the feast.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:43 No.8730204
    Part of the breaking of the spirit would include abominations against nature, I assure you.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:43 No.8730205
    this, with one exception. No ransom. While it would give us shinies, it would also bring unwanted attention to us. Use the captives to help carry back our loot, then kill them and loot the corpses. Use their meat for food, their bones for building material, and whatever else they have for whatever the hell it's good for.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:44 No.8730223
    This would also allow us to use any shinies we find on the corpses, in the caravan, etc.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:46 No.8730245
    >>troll friendly mushrooms + human woman
    >>half troll personal guard
    I can't believe I'm saying this, but that's fricking brilliant.

    Also seconding making the humans carry stuff back. We'll take it all.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:47 No.8730260
    Loot everything. Leave no trace of this event what so ever. No arrows, no bodies, no wagons, no rocks left on the ground. Hell, collect all the blood stained soil, have Ninetoes do something with it.

    We should even drag the cart down the road a ways, just to make it look like nothing happened at all.

    The less people know about us this early on, the better.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:49 No.8730280
    Seconding no ransom. That's a bad idea. The humans are better at that sort of thing than we are. We'd get hosed.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)19:49 No.8730282
    Just kill everyone, and go FULL LOOTAN MODO

    Trying to keep human captives is just going to be more trouble than it's worth. That's the sort of thing that attracts adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:49 No.8730284
    There's no way we'll be able to cover this up. They clearly had a destination, and the fact some ran too. Combines with the earlier wagon we totalled... we can expect visitors.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:49 No.8730288
    this+ try to hide the signs of battle
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:49 No.8730290
    Yeah, just loot everything.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:49 No.8730293
    I vote full lootan. We also want to try and drag that wagon back with us. We should send some scouts to pick off the swordsmen with more poisoned arrows.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:50 No.8730300
    This is a priority. We can't have anyone sending warning.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:53 No.8730328
    Im pretty certain we sent worgs after those who fled. If not, I suggest we do so. Also, yes, we may have visitors, but not for a while. After all, the woods are full of dangerous animals, not just us lowly gobbos. Yes, it was a heavily armed caravan, but if some goblins could take it out, so could a much more powerful creature.

    tl;dr we aren't the only dangerous thing in the woods.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:54 No.8730344
    Yes, but the less people clue onto us the better.

    Adventurers tend to screw everything up.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:55 No.8730367
    Sending worgs =/= automatically catch the prisoners.

    After this, we should try and recruit the bugbears, punish Ninetoes (kill him when we're done with him or at least interrogate and beat him) then move camp. Retaliatory parties will go after the Black Lotus, and we can keep scouts in the forest and swoop in after they take their revenge on the wrong clan.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:55 No.8730369
    so, the general idea is take absolutely everything back to the base. then try to hide all the signs of battle.

    could the humans be used as slaves ?
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)19:56 No.8730387
    Alright. Spread out our trained goblins to search for the survivors, the untrained goblins stick around to go loot everything.

    If we can possibly do anything with the carriage, we should. Even if we just break it down for scrap here and now, it's too much value to let go to waste.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:56 No.8730393
    "Every once in a while, when they aren't getting incinerated in lava, crushed under rock slides, or devoured by dragons, goblins experience moments of unmitigated glory in battle."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:57 No.8730395
    Kill? NOOOOOO. Make it clear to him next time he leaves an important detail like that out you'll drag him down with him.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)19:57 No.8730403
    I'm of the opinion that the best use for the humans is as corpses.

    Seriously, keeping them around will mean trouble. Big trouble.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)19:59 No.8730425
    I want to have him possessed by a spirit he summons up - one of the goblins who died today. This keeps our shaman, but gets rid of Ninetoes. Need to check the viability of this, though.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:00 No.8730451
    lets wait till we know more about them before we do anything permanent
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)20:00 No.8730452

    It's Ninetoes' knowledge that's valuable, and possessing him isn't surefire. He'll be disposable eventually, but not now.

    The slayer axes are obvious gifts for the bugbears--when they prove their loyalty. Don't offer it as a reason to join, offer it as an unexpected bonus for joining.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:03 No.8730515
    I just don't want him able to act anymore. He said he could make spirits do things - maybe we could make his spirit do things? Could we bind him into a staff or axe? That way we get knowledge without the goblin treachery.

    Also yeah, we still need him for the Bugbears as of yet.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:06 No.8730561
    We can wait until our other shaman are more skilled, then make them kill him and bind him to some sort of totem, for our use. He himself said that the bound entity would have to follow our orders.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:08 No.8730607
    Also, voting full lootan here, it will definitively be a while until the town gets suspicious, like a few days or so. During that time we should be able to loot everything, clean up the battle site and then have the shamans regrow the grass, and clear our tracks.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:08 No.8730610
    We don't know how skilled the other shamans are yet. We should know that IC, though, maybe Book Keeper can tell us.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:10 No.8730649
    true, but it's better than just letting them get away.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:13 No.8730696
    Not sure if autosaging, so...

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    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:16 No.8730719
    I say we give Ninetoes a sound thrashing in our cave for trying to cross us. We tell him that he gets a second chance with all of his prior assistance taken into consideration, but the next time he thinks of betraying us, he dies painfully.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:17 No.8730742
    rolled 6 = 6

    Fuck that. We eat him
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:19 No.8730770
    Eat his legs.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:19 No.8730774
    And lose our most knowledgeable and magic-capable goblin?

    Not to mention, BEFORE we've met with the bugbears? Just who is going to summon the shade if we kill him?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:19 No.8730782
    Eat his heart
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:20 No.8730797
    We need for the bugbear, that at least is assured. ASAP, I want to bind his soul into a staff or our own axe though.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:20 No.8730804
    drink his blood.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:21 No.8730818
    Consume his samefag.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)20:21 No.8730822
    Let's keep Ninetoes around. The danger you know is better than the danger you don't. Treat him more cautiously, yes. Kill him? Hell no.

    At least, hell no until we have a suitable replacement, which we do not.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:22 No.8730839
    Sure, after that it's acceptable.

    A goblin bound into a dwarven axe that helped kill a dwarf. Delicious irony.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:24 No.8730873
    Again, we don't KNOW the abilities of our two less senior shamans. Book Keeper can fill us in.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:25 No.8730888
    Yeah, we should start making sure his two shaman trainees are learning everything we would need from him. They may have a promotion soon, after all. And we don't like shamans who can't perform.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:27 No.8730926
    This Goblin has it right.

    Fact is he's a shaman. He shouldn't want to lead. See if he's only chief shaman only other shamans will want his job. If he is Chief Shaman and leader. All the goblins will want his job.
    However, if he keeps assisting us he gets all sorts of wonderful things. Plenty of goblins to put between us and danger, due to the growing stability of our food stores. More books and Magic as we capture them. Wimmen. Glory!
    Which is what we tell him in private after smacking him around a bit for not mentioning they where slayers. What's he trying to pull?

    Don't kill. Convince he's better off assisting us then getting us killed. Not many leaders are as glorious and willing to not pike him as us.

    Speaking of. Eat dwarf flesh off one skull turn it into a mug when able. Other Dwarf head should not be eaten, put on a pike, and held up as a standard when we go visit bugbear or blacklotus goblins.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:30 No.8730970
    >Instead, you were treated to a quiet affair, the shaman grumbling to himself for a few moments before looking back to you. "The...dwarfs. Yes. Travelers. Adventurers. They are skilled, but their death is written. In blood."

    He gives a short pause before exhaling, shaking his head vigorously. A few flecks of spittle hit the ground in the former bear cave, that now serves as your private den.

    "And...wealth? Lots to take. Too much. Women. Drink. Weapons. Coin. So much deliciousness, too, Leaderrrrr."

    he did say they were powerful, and he didn't lie to us. i don't think hes actually done anything treacherous yet
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:31 No.8730987
    This is unreasonable. He deliberately mislead us, probably to try and seize power. It doesn't matter if he SHOULDN'T want power, he DOES. Better the devil you know? It's a betrayal, and we'll only encourage further sedition if we allow him to keep plotting. If we were in some way wrong or flawed I might support you, but this was entirely unreasonable. By our actions we do not encourage rebellion, there is no reasonable rebellion our tribe can take against us.

    Bind him into our axe as soon as we can.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:34 No.8731035
    As anon points out
    It really isn't all that bad. We are just getting paranoid. Perhaps Ninetoes visions are not as clear and easy to understand as we suspect.

    Considering MAGIC it's totally understandable that perhaps he did not know or is just enigmatic. In which case rather then betrayal he's just didn't do a good enough job. We knew they where adventurers and strong. Which they where. We just didn't know they where slayers.

    I repeat my suggestion we have a nice talk with ninetoes. Better to have him as a loyal ally then constantly cycle new shamans as we kill off the old ones.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:35 No.8731050
    visions and the like are almost always vauge
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:37 No.8731084
    rolled 7 = 7

    Book Keeper phrased it somewhat like a betrayal above. I assumed we knew that it was.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:38 No.8731095
    Nope. We are just a bit paranoid. Like all good Goblin Leaders. Only more paranoid, and "good" due to being Glorious Leader.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:39 No.8731114
    rolled 3 = 3

    And goblins are vicious.

    Kill Ninetoes. Use his bones as fetishes to make us stronger.

    FEAST ON HIS HEART with our strongest child.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:43 No.8731193
    Stop rolling when we don't need to, that's what got us screwed over in another quest I played in.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:44 No.8731205
    Suck my dick
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:44 No.8731211
    rolled 11 = 11

    It stays in your email field, bro. That's all. Rolling was indicates to only count in combat two threads ago.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:46 No.8731256
    If you clear out the email field and post it goes away.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:47 No.8731268
    Why aren't you sucking my dick yet?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:47 No.8731269
    rolled 9 = 9

    No shit, really? Because it's not why I was explaining why it was in that post or anything. Wow, you can remove things from your email field. My mind is just so fucking blown right now.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:47 No.8731280
    I have no reason to fight with you, bro.

    Just post once without it. Whatever you had in your email field after your last post sticks around.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:48 No.8731293
    Don't kill ninetoes, for now. He's very valuable. I think that people are overreacting, ninetoes actually did an excellent job and we should reward him for it, we'll probably get something nice from the caravan for him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:49 No.8731312
    OR you could just not be rampant douchewagons.

    >>8731256 is not
    >>8731193 or >>8731280
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:49 No.8731322
    Do not kill Ninetoes. We still might need him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:49 No.8731326

    Use logic bros. We didn't become the glorious leader without having some smarts!

    If he did try to betray us, reward him for being sneaky and cunning.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:50 No.8731342
    rolled 16 = 16

    >If he did try to betray us, reward him for being sneaky and cunning.

    That seems like a bad idea, somehow...

    Anyway yeah, we did overreact. I'd still like to know about binding spirits to items though. Could come in handy.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:50 No.8731345

    Except that GMs will take roll results even if they don't ask for them, and that ends up with us getting screwed over.

    Who pissed in your cornflakes today?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:52 No.8731372
    rolled 1 = 1

    Book Keeper specifically said that the only rolls that counted were in combat. Everything else is decided by consensus, or rule of cool.

    No one. I was just amused by the idea that someone could not know how to remove things from the email field.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:53 No.8731396
    I hope Book keeper gets back soon so all the faggots arguing will go back to making clever plans.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)20:53 No.8731399
    You quickly reroute the remaining worg riders hot on the tracks of the two fleeing human infantrymen to survive. You have no doubt they'll be dead by nightfall.

    Sidenote: I've read the posts, but goddamn there's so many I'm just better off replying to them all in one big serving than individually tabbing. So!

    You and the surviving thirty-seven gobs run buck wild throughout the caravan. The carriage door is pried open by one of your fish-herders, looking to-

    Get the top half of his skull annihilated. There's a loud flash of noise as everything above the goblinoid's jaw vanishes in a puff of red mist. Inside, a woman is visible, a wrist-mounted crossbow of curious design mounted on her forearm. There's several fancy-looking doodads on it, but they do her little good as two axegobs swarm the interior of the well-appointed carriage. They don't exactly dismember her, but a few good punches and some battery makes sure the frail little thing can't shoot any more
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)20:54 No.8731410
    The dead gob is tossed into the back of one of the wagons, where the dozen-or-so captives are seen. They're various levels of "unfit", ranging from pasty-faced young boys no older than five years old to a grotesquely overweight man dressed in what you recognize as a human chef's attire. You mostly recognize this fact thanks to your own close encounter to being served as the main dish for a particularly sick chef's dinner.

    The worg riders return, successful, a few hours into the looting spree. Chests have been hauled out of the wagons, barrels rolled into the open, and a number of thickly-wrapped bundles stored in some slick hide. The Worgmasters are bearing the remains of the two escapee humans, already wearing their chainmail and bearing their shields-slash-longswords.

    Some of the chests are locked with a built-in mechanism, but the barrels and bundles are simple enough to pry open. What they reveal makes your mouth water in glee. Obviously this caravan was meant to head to some distant war front.

    There's a whole slew of weapons in the wrapped bundles. The barrels contain more long-term rations, like oatmeal, flour, and ale. The weaponry, in total, takes you a while to count between lip-licking sessions. But you manage.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)20:55 No.8731423
    -6 Shortbows (With just as many sealed quivers of 30 arrows each)
    -10 iron pikes
    -6 iron maces with notches worked into the heads
    -20 iron shortswords
    -5 steel-tipped longspears
    -2 solid steel greatswords of fine craftsmanship. Almost dwarven, but not quite.

    There are currently six locked chests looted from the carriage's interior, all of them having been lashed down to the seats around the woman. There are also twelve barrels of supplies in total. Six kegs of ale, four barrels of oatmeal, and two of flour. Not a varied selection as far as supplies went, but it was enough to supply...

    A small army.

    Ninetoes and the other shamans are currently recuperating over the remains of a dead soldier, having plucked out the arrows and begun to tear strips of flesh off to regain their strength. Onebrow, still dismounted, brings you your dagger and Spiky Board.

    Sidenote: GODDAMN THIS POST WAS LONG. Will need to work on the tl;dr for any upcoming battles.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)20:58 No.8731483
    Force the humans to carry EVERYTHING back to our camp.

    Including the carriage.

    We'll use the carriage to improve our cave lair.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)20:59 No.8731496
    Alright, kill her, take the doodad. That's going to be another good signing bonus, for a Black Lotus goblin lieutenant, whose loyalty we're particularly sure of. It's not really a weapon that goes well with anyone we've got.

    Hm. From now on, all of my explanations for diplomacy will be couched in sports terms.

    "And with the 13th pick in the Settler Quest draft, the Bear Clan picks... The Bugbear Tribe, OT (Offensive Tank), Ancestorworship State."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:00 No.8731523
         File1269306048.png-(480 KB, 680x1400, GobShaman.png)
    480 KB
    Look, I brought in some more loot from a drawfag thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:01 No.8731533
    >goes with anyone we've got

    We're going to be using it.

    I don't really give a fuck about the Black Lotus. We know how to make their poison. See:>>8730367
    For my plan.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:01 No.8731537
    take everything includeing our captives back to the base. dont kill captives untill we know more about them
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:04 No.8731594
    You AXE her for her fine piece of technology, clipping it onto your loincloth's waistband as you leave her corpse for the gobs to rip into fresh Human meat. The other Humans get the message, and quickly find themselves overly eager to transport the plunderings of your raid back to the village. In particular, you convince them to pull the ironclad carriage back onto its wheels.

    And then make them pull it through the woodland by hand. Stupid schmucks. But strong, seeing as they're twice as big as the av'rage Gob. Or three times as big, in the case of the chef.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:04 No.8731603

    Eh, I'm of the "Waste no potential resource" school of thought. We've got more to gain by assimilating the Black Lotus clan than by killing them.

    But you're right, taking the doodad for ourselves isn't a bad idea. Only problem is we can't throw it at anybody.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:05 No.8731623
    Not really. We grow so rapidly assimilating another clan seems pointless, and more of a risk than a boon.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:05 No.8731627
    WHOA WHOA WHOA, several of us decided earlier that we wanted her alive, and one vote up and kills her before we can object?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:05 No.8731635
         File1269306348.png-(52 KB, 500x350, cave.png)
    52 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:06 No.8731642
    damnit, we just killed the most useful human there.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:06 No.8731645

    We've got the cart.

    We HAVE to figure some way to use this to infiltrate the human village.

    "Hey guys, there's an armored cart coming through! OH GOD ITS FULL OF GOBLINS"
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:06 No.8731658

    Keep prisoners alive.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:07 No.8731664

    How is she most useful? I can't think of anything we could do with her that wouldn't be a liability.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:07 No.8731666
    yes. we did.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:08 No.8731699
    >>"Waste no potential resource"

    REALLY NOW? We had plans for her that involved either infiltration schemes down the road, or a personal bodyguard (either way, abominations).

    Also, I wanted to make her tell us about the cool bow.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:09 No.8731706
    'looting' was implied to be killing, and there's always a delay in posting. Book Keeper is going off earlier posts that didn't care.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:09 No.8731714
    she was almost certantly nobility or a rich merchant. possibly a relativ of a general. shes the only one who knew how the cross bow thing worked and she could probaly tell us whats in and how to open the locked chest
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:09 No.8731722
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:10 No.8731734
    SWEET! Art! Moaaar! Looks awesome, amigo.

    Loading the captives up, you begin the arduous trek of dragging everything back to camp. Or rather, your MINIONS do the arduous work. Even then, they're aided by the freshly-cowed humans, which have the power of TWO GOBS into one! Well, some of them, anyways.

    ...Oh buggery. Uhh, let's retcon that a wee bit. Instead of axing her with the BUSINESS end, I, err, meant the very FRIENDLY side of the axe. And by "leaving her for gob meat" I mean "Leaving her to RECEIVE gob meat".

    Yeah. That works. Probably a good point to stop here, on an utterly unrelated side-note.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:11 No.8731752
    >Leaving her to RECEIVE gob meat

    Ick. Do not want.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:11 No.8731759
    and answer just about any question we had about the local humans and major enemys we could face. and we cold probaly randsom her for a mid sized fortune
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:11 No.8731769
    Maybe some volun-told gob's meat for abomination spies. Or that "troll friendly" shroom to get some damned hard to kill muscle on our team.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:12 No.8731782

    How do you intend to convince her to go along with an infiltration scheme? She's got some serious fight in her. We can get a bit of info from her, but after that she's better off dead. We can find safer humans to get abominations from, and ransom seems like a good way to get ourselves wiped out.

    Remember, for whatever reason, she was headed into a warzone. Granted, so was the chef, but she's got spirit.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:12 No.8731785
    so, another thread tomarrow at 4 ?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:14 No.8731827
    As in, we get abominations in 4.5 months who are half gob, half human, and can infiltrate for us. Some poor schmuck will have to do the "honors." Ugh.

    Or we feed her the troll friendly mushroom and get a half-troll on our team. Maybe. If we fail, oh well.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:16 No.8731848
    shes a bad choice for infiltration. no argument there. but we could easily torture info out of her. also if we dont ransom her we could always sell her to someone who would like her as a hostage. like who ever she was going to war against
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:16 No.8731855
    Actually, it'll probably be on Thursday. I've got some work I need to get done by then, and I'd rather not goof off TOO much with /tg/.

    Any questions you have for tonight are welcome, though. Ry'leh.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:16 No.8731862
    Ok people, honestly if you think we want any humans in or around our camp you are stupid and should think this through. If a human escapes, they will alert the town and we will soon have an army bearing down on our women and children, effectively wiping us out.

    It doesn't matter whether they are useful or not, we kill all humans and use them for food. No breeding with trolls, even if that is kind of clever. It will take at least 9 months for that to payoff, and until that happens we will have to take care of the mother, but she will probably just die from isolation and disease.

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:17 No.8731880
    That is... a really long-term plan. Anything with human blood takes a really long time to grow up.

    But whatever, I guess. At least it might be amusing, and we're not short on food right now so we don't really need to kill the human women instead of trying to use them to breed up something more useful.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:18 No.8731888
    But they'll stay fresh longer when they're alive! We can always hack off their feet so they can't escape.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:18 No.8731895
    I learned from the series Roots that if you cut off the front half of someone's foot, it's almost impossible for them to run away, but they stay useful for most work.

    We don't know if it would take 9 months, either. We're goblins, it can't hurt to try.

    But any human who seems more liability than proper slave is getting eaten, yeah.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:18 No.8731897
    Information on binding a spirit or shade into an item? Information on our dwarven axe (I'm assuming, having used it, something might have shown itself)?

    Information on the best fighters in the clan? Likewise, on the apprentice shamans?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:19 No.8731909
    They can still crawl back to town. I just don't want things to get messy. We're best off just killing them now, rather make things get all complicated with prisoners and slaves.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:22 No.8731964
    That's a long way to crawl before getting noticed and caught.

    Before they got that opportunity it's likely we'd have pillaged the town already.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:23 No.8731970

    Also, the most we will get is two half-goblins, who will likely be stillborn or just completely deformed. Do we really want to waste 4.5 - 9 months of food on a something that will likely never give us any return?
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:23 No.8731971
    Ninetoes says that it's quite possible to bind someone's spirit into an item. You'd need blood and someone skilled at magic. Or, at least, more skilled at magic than the one he's trying to imprison. Ninetoes also mentions, at length, the possibility of being able to use multiple souls to conjure up "Something...neat. Flashy. Interesting. Sparklyyyyyy."

    As for the axe, it's of very high Dwarven make. Possibly magical, but Ninetoes isn't sure. At the very least, it's sharp enough to split a hair longways.

    The best fighters are currently Onebrow and Clawfoot, your personal bodyguards. The apprentices are fairly talented according to Ninetoes, but they "still need lots and lots of trainingsss."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:24 No.8731983
    this will happen anyway once we attack the village and we plan on doing that in like a week or two. and considering how long it would take for them to find an army, convince them they(the escaped slave) were worth listening to, make the perperations, and then wander around trying to find us. it wouldnt make much difference. also if the girl is some sort of princess we can use her as a hostage.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:24 No.8732002
    I wish we knew how to boost magic potential or explore non-shamanistic kinds of magic. Sounds useful.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:24 No.8732008

    Ooooooh. Guess what we just got a bunch of? Humans. Soooooouls.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:25 No.8732024

    Alright. You are somehow intimating that holding a princess for ransom would get us anything but wiped out by an army. Seriously, she's good for some info, but that's it.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:26 No.8732037
    Info and breeding experiments! Ninetoes can cast some magic to speed the process, and if it fails, oh well, we're not suffering.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:29 No.8732077

    We can use her for breeding, but there's no reason that she'd be better for it than someone we could capture from a village.

    She's just got too much fight in her.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:29 No.8732086

    I feel like we'd be better off capturing an actual troll by focusing our efforts on breeding goblins and setting up a good infrastructure than by doing crazy breeding experiments. We don't even know how long a troll takes to mature (probably a hell of a long time).
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:31 No.8732121
    all we know about her is that when we tried to kill her she tried to kill us back. that just proves shes not an idiot
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:32 No.8732141

    We should just rape and pillage this one and give her soul (and all the others) to Ninetoes to play with. If you want to play silly HOW IS GOB BABBY FORMED games, get a stupid and scared town slut or farm girl.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:33 No.8732160

    Which, for our purposes, is a bad thing. Cycle her through the processor as quickly as possible.

    Hell, if we just want info, we could just kill her know and save her soul for questions later. Unless she's a mage of some sort, which I doubt, given her response.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:33 No.8732162
    Well we could feed her the troll and try to get one attracted to the camp that way. Although they might be too dumb to recruit. A half troll should be smart enough, and if we capture the troll in a pit we can give it a shot with all the town women as well.

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:34 No.8732180
    everything we have encountered so far has done that...
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:35 No.8732194
    To me, it boils down to the fact that there's no long-term position for which she is better qualified than anyone else we could get, and she brings a lot of dangers into play. Outside of info, there's just no profit.

    But we should get as much info as possible. Even seemingly useless stuff, like the state of the world as a whole.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:36 No.8732210

    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:37 No.8732233
    Ninetoes brings up that, during his more experimental days (With test tubes and the like), he dabbled in a bit of the more non-shamanistic parts of magic. The book he found with the Elven caravan has expanded his knowledge a bit, and he figures that- in exchange for every ten souls you can provide- he can boost his magical abilities that much.

    That, or produce a golem-like fetish made from various twigs, mud, and other materials he'd rather not go into details on.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:39 No.8732263
    We should be careful about boosting Ninetoes (though it makes an excellen carrot). But it seems like a good idea from time to time.

    Can we get better golems with more souls?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:39 No.8732267
    Not sure we want to let him 'A GOD AM I' on us. What about giving the Glorious Leader magical abilities?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:39 No.8732268
    if we actuly knew something about her we would know if there was a reason to keep her around
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:41 No.8732303
    Actually, this could prove to be a reward for him, to keep him loyal and in line.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:41 No.8732307
    He's not too sure on giving YOU magical abilities, since shamanism is still a pretty "natural" art to get. He does, however, think that he could create beefier golems if he was given better materials and more souls. There is, however, a limit. More souls means more unstable golems.

    Though if you want something to go Allah Ackgob on the enemy, the sky's the limit.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:41 No.8732319
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:43 No.8732345
    Seconded, the risk is too high as compared to the rewards.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:44 No.8732356
    >>Allah Ackgob

    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:44 No.8732372
    Alright. I guess we'll give him a power boost once and then leave it at that until we really need an increase in power. The rest of the souls can go on the golems, or one increase to the apprentices.
    >> Book Keeper 03/22/10(Mon)21:44 No.8732374
    Alright, I'll leave the thread open for any comments/praise/complaints/criticism. I, in the meantime, am going to catch some shuteye. FOR THURSDAY, THE GOBLINING SHALL BEGIN.

    And don't be afraid to throw up more ideas, guys. Srsly.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:45 No.8732390
    i support the "people are more usefull than corpses" idea
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)21:53 No.8732539

    People are more dangerous than corpses, and our current gains would be marginal at best.

    And there's just so much that we can do with corpses!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:54 No.8732572
    Glad that you're the sort who will see what else got posted on the thread after you left (thanks to the archive's auto-updates).
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:56 No.8732600
    then why dont we slaughter the bugbears and blacklotus gobs?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)21:58 No.8732641
    Bugbears are dumb, useful muscle.

    Black Lotus, they're cowards, I wouldn't mind getting rid of all but the stealthiest for adding as our scouts.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:01 No.8732693
         File1269309675.jpg-(143 KB, 400x542, Bugbear.jpg)
    143 KB
    Gee, I dunno.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:02 No.8732704
    so, possibly usefull and a waste of time or effort to kill them. why can this not apply to the humans we captured.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:02 No.8732705
         File1269309726.jpg-(244 KB, 700x904, Bugbear2.jpg)
    244 KB
    Just no clue at all.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:03 No.8732734
         File1269309818.jpg-(273 KB, 2710x1814, Moon.jpg)
    273 KB
    Because they are humans, not goblinoids. Simple as.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:05 No.8732759
    and your argument is that the humans are a threat and should be killed. i am saying that the same applies to the bug bears
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:06 No.8732788
    whats the differance?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:06 No.8732793
    Stop throwing around the strawman argument.

    The bugbears and Black Lotus goblins are much more inclined to support us, thus providing much more reward for much less risk.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:09 No.8732876
    yes, but keeping the human slaves at least long enough to see if there usefull is less dangerous and more productive than trying to gain control of the BL and the BB.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:10 No.8732902
    I don't care one way or the other way about killing the slaves. I think making a golem or empowering our shaman is a better bet.

    I didn't join in this argument because of that, I joined on because you were presenting a stupid and unfair parallel.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:18 No.8733026
    said "People are more dangerous than corpses"
    as a reason for why the slaves and probaly every other human we encounter shoud be killed.

    i try to point out that with that argumrnt we should be killing all of the BL and BB as at the moment they are a greater threat to us than the humans

    so,how is this wrong and what was the "stupid and unfair parallel"" strawman argument"?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:22 No.8733072
    First off, PEOPLE.

    Even if we assume 'people' refers to a wide variety of species, it's clear that the context of the presented argument lies with the prisoners we have just abducted, and hence are subject to many conditions different from those of the Bugbear and Black Lotus tribes.

    For you create a similarity between the vastly different situations is for you to 'create a straw man'. I have no interest in pursuing this further, but it is established that the situations are NOT the same.
    >> Loquacious Goblin 03/22/10(Mon)22:27 No.8733150

    Because the Bugbears and BL provide long-term usefulness, and exist without outside support lines. They will be willing to join us, because they're similar to us.

    Humans won't be inclined to do that. They'll be more inclined to call in their brethren to beat the shit out of us, and they also don't have long-term usefulness to us.

    Humans see us as trash. Bugbears and other goblins at least see us as worth dealing with.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)22:35 No.8733267

    Please stop being a stupid person. Thanks.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/10(Mon)23:16 No.8733922
    We should really be trying to figure out good uses for all the new supplies we just captured, instead of arguing about whether to enslave, experiment, or eat the humans. Alliteration unintended.

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