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  • File : 1269102889.jpg-(2.18 MB, 3251x2427, Harn World Map.jpg)
    2.18 MB Settler Quest Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)12:34 No.8682575  
    Hello, /tg/. You are going to found and run settlement and, hopefully, manage to make yourself extremely wealthy with a harem of concubines in the process.

    But before we get started, we have to decide what RACE you are. I mean, you can't honestly expect to run a colony without a race to populate it, now can you?

    Human. Populate pretty quickly, damn good at most things, but not really a "master" of anything. Quick learners, though.

    Dwarf: Hardy motherfuckers. You'd think them perfect at everything, but they're not particularly quick when it comes to moving around. What they lack in speed, though, they make up for in stamina and concentration. Probably why most people say, "It's Dwarven." in place of a euphemism like "Golden". Dwarf just lasts longer. The only other downside is that Dwarves have a hard time adapting to above-ground life and would much rather dig a hole in the ground to sleep in than live under a WOODEN roof.

    Goblin: Oh, sure, spit on the little buggers all you want. But they're brutally cunning, breed faster than the jackrabbits they eat, and- whilst they're not exactly smart- the clever-er-est ones can make you very sorry for ever stumbling into their warrens. With the right sort of leadership, they can be a damn horrifying opponent.

    Formians: Ant-men, and damn dangerous ones at that. They're a good mix of humanity's populous nature and the dwarven preference for the underground. They're good at carving out colonies, and a Formian Queen- the irreplaceable core of a Formian colony- is a very potent mixture of psion and egg-factory.

    The choice is yours, /tg/. What race shall form the core of your new, glorious settlement?
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)12:41 No.8682692
    Addendum: Magic is a viable element of this setting, and as such I feel inclined to add the magical aptitude of each race choice.

    Human: Just like the race itself, Humans are generally jack-of-all-trades as far as magic goes. Their aptitude for learning has given them a slight advantage over the other races, however.

    Dwarf: Dwarves are generally focused upon magic in relation to the earth and more long-term enchantment effects. As such, "Runewardens" and "Runesmiths" generally focus upon inscribing magic into a set series of arcane symbols, which are then utilized. Sometimes only once, other times repeatedly.

    Goblin: Mostly restricted to shamanistic magic, Goblin population levels mean that Goblin shamans generally come up a few times in each generation. Provided, you know, they aren't eaten during lean times or just because they can't do anything flashy yet.

    Formians: Being a structured society, Formian mages are generally spawned at birth amongst the Myrmadon caste and other high-ranking members of the species. The Formian Queen is the most notable example of this, with her mental presence much akin to a giant brick wall that can control an entire colony's actions from its heart.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:42 No.8682693
    Is that...the continent from that book series about this fuck awesome bard with shadow magic fighting is lawful stupid half brother with light magic?
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)12:43 No.8682720
    Most likely, since I only grabbed a map that looked appropriate to what I was looking to use. Not too many world maps, do I have.
    >> /tg/ here.... Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:44 No.8682751
    We choose Goblin.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:46 No.8682773
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)12:47 No.8682790
    I'll wait for a quick consensus before continuing...in that vein, I'll be back in about thirty minutes while I take a shower. /tg/ sometimes taek loeng teim.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:47 No.8682796
    Aye, Goblin sounds good.
    >> Goblins Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:47 No.8682799
         File1269103655.jpg-(1.85 MB, 3251x2427, 1269102889859.jpg)
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    We shall settle here.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:47 No.8682803
    For the swarm!
    >> Goblins Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:49 No.8682826
         File1269103740.jpg-(191 KB, 886x674, 1269102889859.jpg)
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    We shall settle in this region here.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:49 No.8682832
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:49 No.8682840
    Wow, I'm not sure what to say to that.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:50 No.8682854
    Isolated from everyone, so they can't attack us and we can build our nice huge army of little greenmen
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:50 No.8682858

    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:51 No.8682871
    That is a nice map, OP. Is it your own? Because if it is that is nice work.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:51 No.8682873

    Formians would be my first choice, but Goblins are ok, too...
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:51 No.8682886
    call me a DF fagg, but Dwarf would be a pretty cool choice, and we would get insanely rich when we open a few trade routes.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:52 No.8682894
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:52 No.8682897
    the problem with settling on that isle is that it's unlikely that it will support a very large goblin population.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)12:57 No.8682985
    I've been thinking. If we do go with Formains, maybe settle on that archipelago in the upper left, the Sea of Itikir. Dig some connecting undersea tunnels between them and we have a bitchin' complex.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:14 No.8683283
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:17 No.8683342
    Goblins are a-ok!
    Now, keep on going OP
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:18 No.8683356
    Dwarves will take the Rayesha Mountains
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:19 No.8683373
    Oh, is /tg/ all one settlement? Well then I take away my dwarf in rayesha, and ask the OP to continue with goblins
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:22 No.8683437

    Ant people. Ours will be the tunnels that will pierce the heavens.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:23 No.8683463
    I say goblins and we should settle in the forested peninsula to the east of the Mirath Island.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:28 No.8683537
    Formians for the win.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:30 No.8683568
    Ant people > everybody else
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)13:50 No.8683838
    my vote: Dwarfs

    but any race will do really
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)14:00 No.8683991
    Where is OP?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)14:02 No.8684037
    think he went for a shower?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)14:15 No.8684238
         File1269108907.jpg-(16 KB, 640x480, HeLeftUs.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)14:44 No.8684713
    this thread still alive or is it dead?
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)14:58 No.8684916
    Just got back...a shower turned into a series of petty chores, unfortunately.

    SO! The consensus seems to be a settlement full of delicious dorfs/goblins/ant people. Next post to choose gets the gold, since /tg/ seems perfectly divided on the matter.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)14:59 No.8684940
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)15:13 No.8685131
    Goblins it is, then! Now to begin the Settling...

    You are the Glorious Goblin Leader, Bless'd by the Almighty Goblin God Torg, All Hail. Your blessing isn't really that much, to be honest. Your body is just covered in a bunch of half-meter-long spikes that make it really freaking uncomfortable to sit down in a normal seat. But hey, the perks of it (Mostly being able to kill people with a hug) are pretty damn cool!

    As it stands, you're currently in charge of what the humans would call a "Band" of goblins. But what /you/ really know is a loose association of similarly interested goblinoids of the violent persuasion that are mostly kept in line by the promise that you can keep their bellies full and their britches full of raw terror in your presence.

    You are all currently milling about the remains of the raid that brought you to "leadership" position. The thirty-odd group of goblins, of which only six are females, are currently mucking through the remains of a caravan. An Elf caravan, naturally, laden with what looks like trade goods. Fancy silk (Not tasty), gold and silver coins (Shiny! But not tasty either), and a few locked chests that smell absolutely delicious but have some stupid Elf lock made of pretty steel.

    Of course, the Elves themselves are currently either dead or in the middle of being made into food. Goblins are /great/ cooks, especially since they love their food like they like their women. Raw, covered in gore, and screaming all the while.

    The ambushed caravan is in the middle of woodlands, a small river running a couple hundred meters away from the roadside.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)15:20 No.8685229
    Take the shinies! We can use them to get food or other things if we need to.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)15:21 No.8685246
    Welll, we need a lair of some kind. After dinner find trees and build a warren under the roots.
    The roots will make easy roof and the big people can't chase us underneath.
    Also, this is one tiny tribe you have there chief.
    Correct it.
    We need a competition, preferably non-bloody, o decide who get's to breed.
    I suggest we focus on speed as of now. The fastest 5 goblins gets to breed.
    The 6th female is ours.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)15:26 No.8685333
    You grab twenty gold coins and ten silver ones. The gold ones appear inscribed with some human's head on the back. Pfah! Humans! They always though their faces were important...

    But it was just funnier when they screamed after plucking out an eyeball or two. Speaking of which...yep! One of the surrendered Elves started to scream right when you thought that. One of your goblins, Lockjaw, holding his eyeball on the end of one of his razor-sharp fingernails.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)15:33 No.8685444
    use an axe or weapon of some kind to break the shiny locks on the chest
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)15:36 No.8685490
    As the others get to work on skinning the Elves, you have the fastest get the girls. Of course, while they're getting their horrifying freak on, the rest of the goblins dig in.

    Looking around, you notice that the caravan's goodies had some interesting Human doodads. Perhaps half a dozen shovels, though they looked like they would make damn good weapons to bludgeon someone upside the skull.

    There's perhaps half a dozen Elves currently being made into food. Anything you'd like them to do in particular with the corpses?

    Sidenote: Your Shaman, Ninetoes, is currently poking through the books the Elves had in his backpack. You think he's reading it upside-down...but you aren't exactly a shining paragon of literacy, either.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)15:42 No.8685572
    On the subject of weapons, your goblin tribe currently has:
    6 slings made from various pieces of cloth.
    10 stone-headed axes
    4 wooden spears with flint tips
    And, for yourself, a battered iron shortsword. The Elves were unarmed but for two shortbows and quivers with twenty bone-tipped arrows apiece.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)15:49 No.8685657
    I second the warren building. We should at least have a slouching lair for ourselves and a stockroom where we can hide our stuff and in emergencies our tribe.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)15:50 No.8685679
    Yell at the shaman and tell him to read the books later. The roads are dangerous. Then yell louder at the rest of the tribe to pack up and take the rest with us.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)15:53 No.8685721
    Using your shortsword, you begin to hammer at the lock. The hunk of iron has something the steel padlock doesn't: A large, very angry mutant goblin wielding it.

    The lock eventually comes off with a heavy clanking sound, hitting the floor of the wagon. Opening the chest, you find something extremely worthwhile inside!

    Ale! Actual ale! Obviously the Elves had planned to squander the precious brew away in their little treetop homes...but this? This you and your tribe could drink!

    There's currently six wide-nose jugs of the stuff, and- from the smell of it- it's actually pretty high quality. Probably why it was all locked up.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)15:55 No.8685750
    Ponder our illiteracy. Why do humans enjoy books so much. All big important humans seem able to read. As do the elves, dwarves and other races. Perhaps reading is secret to being REALLY important.

    Consider learning to read later.

    Get a snack now and try to bust the lock. Oh wait maybe there's a key around. We really should order our "band" to lay out spoils better from now on. Throw anything metal on a tarp (Get a tarp) so we can sort through it.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)16:04 No.8685889
    You promptly begin yelling and suitable amounts of sword-brandishing, smacking the goblins into line where necessary. Lockjaw, in particular, needs a good poke with the sword to get his teeth out of a dead Elf's neck.

    The shaman gets up off his seat on another elf's back, tearing a good strip of muscle off. "We go now?" He inquired, before you affirm. "I going! I going...might be wise to let breeders finish, maybe?" He asks, jerking a thumb towards the bushes where the five fastest runners are getting their stool-high freak on.

    The remaining twenty-five goblins begin to fan out at your direction, quickly stumbling across some places where a bit of work could make an underground warren.

    There's a small cave near the riverside, though none of the cowardly little monsters have investigated it yet, it seems like it'd be large enough to squat in for a bit.

    Two more goblins come back to the caravan site in under an hour, their gnarled feet kicking up dirt as they run. "Fires!" One of them shrieks, "Smoke down the road! People! Fooooooood!"

    The others, not settled with leaving themselves less than utterly stuffed to the point of vomiting, echo the hum of "Food" at the mention of someone who can make fires.

    Unfortunately, further south down the road is heading towards the Black Lotus Tribe's territory. A bunch of sneaky little goblin buggers, no bigger than your own tribe, that loot from humans. Most notably named due to the plant they live near.

    Another group of goblins emerges from the woods to the east, your scouts breathing hard. "Worgies!" He declares happily, and you notice one of their number went missing. Probably tried to ride the wild wolf-things out of sheer stupidity.

    "Only four or five, though, boss. But very pretty worgies!"
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:06 No.8685919
    we should find a hill near a stream or small river, dig into the hill a bit and you have a home and water. keep the ale and offer some to the best diggers as a reward after digging out the hill, but before you leave the caravan take anything that that you can carry or drag includeing the carts
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:07 No.8685944
    Oh man it's like Overlord. Huzzah!

    I vote we get us some Worgies.

    Also who where the two most useless (or dangerous to us) goblins in that ambush? We should send one to get a good look at the fires and report back with what race is at the fires. The other should be ordered into the cave to see if it's safe.

    We assume both die if they don't show up again and move on. WORGIES!
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)16:13 No.8686021
    You grab a length of the really nice-feeling cloth from the bolts lying in the wagon, and start tossing stuff into it. You pile the coins, busted lock, and anything else remotely metal from the wagon. Some of the stuff takes a bit of prying, and other stuff cutting-off.

    In the end, you get:
    -The twenty gold and ten silver from before
    -Two solid gold wedding bands from the dead Elves
    -Twelve silver nails from one of the more muscular Elves, who apparently was the one that had the book in his backpack.

    Stupid Elves. They didn't have much metal on them...always yakking about that "Purity of nature" stuff.

    Which was strange to you, really. You were a part of nature, so that meant they shouldn't hurt you. But then they go and shoot arrows, and accidentally have one bounce off and hit your previous leader in the back!

    What a shame.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:16 No.8686067
    could we use the bits of cloth like the silk and elf clothing to make more slings?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:17 No.8686087
    Ram a couple of nails through a club. Create Nail Bat. Use it to enforce discipline.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:19 No.8686112
    Proposal: Why don't we try breeding with captive Human and Elf females to see what happens? We can always eat them later if it goes wrong and the raping and screaming could be fun.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:20 No.8686123
    were covered in spikes, we can just smack them
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:22 No.8686152
    Exactly. We will have a weapon covered in spikes too! Keep the sword of course.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:22 No.8686168
    lets try it, if we get enough goblins we could make the hill into a Motte and Bailey
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)16:23 No.8686178
    There's a hill that looks pretty relevant to your interests a couple dozen meters north of here, under a big oak tree. Or so your scouts tell you.

    There's two goblins you can think of doing without. Irontooth and Fumbles. Irontooth because, well, he's a jerk that won't stop talking about how a Dwarf knocked his now-iron tooth out (Even though EVERYONE knows he lost it by trying to "eat steel" after killing the knight who wielded the sword). That, and he spent half the ambush missing with his slingshot.

    Fumbles because, frankly, nobody fucking likes him. At all. The giant crybaby is also extremely clumsy (Hence the name), and nearly gave away the entire ambush by slipping on a piece of underbrush.

    You decide to send Fumbles into the cave, and Irontooth to the encampment. Fumbles looks on the verge of tears, and Irontooth simply boasts about "I'm gonna get a new iron tooth when I beat up whatever stupid creatures live so close to us! No, not iron, maybe ste-"

    You don't let either of them nag you any further before sending them on their respective ways. Fumbles ends up walking into the cave and screaming, just as the sound of a very-pissed-off bear is heard roaring. A small memorial service was made in Fumbles' name before it washed down the stream.

    Irontooth returned an hour later, the breeders having emerged from the bushes at this point with a suitable number of bite marks and scratches.

    "Humans, boss-leader-king! A whole village of 'em! I bet I could make their smiths get me a whole /clap/ of iron teeth...yeah...nobody would mess with /meeee/!"
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:26 No.8686211
    (FUCK he lived...ah well at least he seems loyal...for now...kill him later got it.)

    So /tg/ I vote we settle ourselves down a bit, build strength and locate these black lotus.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)16:28 No.8686252
    It'd be really simple, actually, all you'd need is rocks to sling around. Which aren't hard to find, either. But it's not the best weapon, and usually you'd need a lot of people using the slings for them to ever actually seriously hurt someone beyond a couple bruises or a broken arm.

    Prying a length of wood off the wagon (The wagon didn't need it anyways.), you ram some nails through the board with a few good smacks. Now, in addition to your bodily spiky bits, you now have a Spiky Board! Perfect for when you want to teach some insolent little shit a lesson he won't soon forget!

    The twenty-seven goblin military slowly dawdles towards the hills in question, three of them working to drag along the wagon filled with the goodies you collected so far, as well as the womenfolk. It'd be a week or two before they gave birth to a litter, and perhaps a month after that before the kids would be fit to be smacked around.

    But hey, what did you care? Sitting atop your fresh throne on the cart, with your bitchin' hot goblin wife and your spiky board, you feel like a big damn...

    Hero? No. Glorious Leader! Yeah, big damn Glorious Leader.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:33 No.8686327
    haul all our loot to the hill. pik a good looking spot and dig in. when were done kill irontooth, he annoys us. were a goblin annoying us is a good reason to kill him.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:50 No.8686621
    After beating him to death make a show of playing a game with the rest of the band. Rip his Iron Tooth out and huck it into the woods. First one to bring it back gets a swig of ale.

    And is promoted to tracker-scout-intelligence gather and tasked with finding the Black Lotus.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)16:51 No.8686649
    You quickly arrive at the hill in question. It has a commanding view of the surrounding countryside, and the goblins give little complaint as they drag you up the hill on your wooden cart. Shovels are dispersed amongst the unfavored, including Irontooth.

    Ninetoes oversees the digging effort, but quickly comes to you, head bowed in submission. He doesn't meet your gaze. "How you want this done, oh mighty supreme one? We have enough grub for two weeks, much digging to be done, not enough digging tools to go 'round. What you want dug, sirrrr?" He asks, his nasal pitch droning the word "Sir" out.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:54 No.8686711
    What would wise Shaman do?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)16:55 No.8686723
    "Hole! Hole that goes up and right and left. Sleeping hole near entrance. Loot hole far down. Make goblin sized holes."

    swirly and small tunnels so that goblins can move freely but human are unable to follow very fast.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:04 No.8686869
    You also decide to make relishing sport of Irontooth's death. He does, after all, annoy you. So you decide to batter him about with your new weapon before, eventually, biting off his nose and cutting out his tongue. After he drowns in his own blood, you pry out his iron tooth and toss it into the woodlands.

    Two hours later, one of the non-digging goblins returns to the campsite for his honorable reward. He's obviously too excited to even think of thanking you. Why, he's even piddled himself at the prospect of leaving your very nice homeland to hunt down the den of sneaky little goblin assassins! Oh joy!

    "I, errm, really now?" He inquires, "Me no want to sound ungrateful, but, uhh, can me just watch over diggers? Me not worthy of...great honor! Give to Lockjaw, yesmaybe?"

    Lockjaw, a sadist even by goblin standards, just smiles at you and the new Chief Scout in question. He then begins to lick some of the eyeball gunk off of his sharpened fingernails, his tongue shooting out of his unmovable jaw like a dog's
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:06 No.8686897
    make them both do it and put lock jaw in charge.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:11 No.8686974
    The shaman twitches slightly as you ask for his opinion. It might be seen as a sign of weakness to some, but you're far too clever to ignore the schemes of your plotting minions.

    "Me? I make tunnels. Very strong, tunnels. Maybe put some burrows in between. Holes very good idea! Sleepy holes, holes for food, holes to poop in. But not forget outside! Outside is where sun and food is! Very important things, err..."

    He bows lower, "If you think so, leader-sirrrr!"

    Though goblins aren't the best architects, Ninetoes might have a point. There's plenty of lumber around, you have some axes, and it'd probably not be too hard to make some slipshod buildings outside of the tunnel. If you didn't want some totally cool underground shindigs, that is, for you and all your future goblin bitches.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:11 No.8686984
    Can't. That would undermine the promotion. Put Lockjaw under him and say
    "When Scout-Captain come back successful he get feast."
    Don't say the wimpy goblins name. See if Lockjaw gets the idea.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:13 No.8687008
    We don't want to screw with this other tribe of goblins any time soon. If I know my fantastic herbology like I think I do, they go around with one of the most dangerous poisons in the world coating their blades. One touch and we're dead.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:13 No.8687009
    Barracks outside? Safety undergound?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:13 No.8687013
    We want to work out a trade agreement with them. Get on good terms. Maybe present them with an elf skull as a present.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:15 No.8687028

    I don't think that's a good idea either. They'll just stab us in the back. How about this? When they next go on a night-time raid, they'll spend the day in a stupor, their bellies full. That's when we'll get 'em.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:15 No.8687031
    tunnels to stat with then a ditch and pallisade (wood fence) around the enterence, and then wooden near the tunel enterance
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:16 No.8687047
    Search for wild mushrooms and poisonous plants. Apply poison to weapons, especially bows.

    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:18 No.8687060
    Not if we stab them in the back first....

    The Scout doesn't need to talk to them. Just get as much information of where they are and such as possible.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:19 No.8687076
    Lockjaw just smiles as you order him to join the expedition. Grabbing some freshly-drying Elf meat for the road, he left with the newly-appointed Chief Scout. You doubted you'd ever see the likes of the poor sod ever again when Lockjaw was down with him.

    Unfortunately, that left you two goblins down for the time being, and the rest were simply milling about like mindless fools as the diggers inexpertly shoveled away the hillside for the burrow.

    The non-committed goblins seemed to have taken a liking to daring one another to head into the bear cave, to see just how far one of them could safely get before pissing off the large beast inside and running back out. The bear, for her part, seemed unwilling to exit her den.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:24 No.8687145
    You send the Scout out to gather as much as possible, arming him with an Elf skull at the last moment just in case he ended up getting ambushed so he could- somewhat truthfully- claim you're intending to open up relations. What those relations consist of, you haven't yet decided.

    In the meantime, you manage to drag attention away from the stupidity of the goblins and towards getting the burrow worked on. Armed with stone axes, the goblins begin to inexpertly hack down the trees near the hill. It's pretty daunting, but they manage to chop down and begin hauling them by the end of the second day. At that point, the goblin womenfolk are starting to show signs of letting out their litters. By your reckoning, you're going to have an extra thirty mouths to feed at the minimum in the next few weeks. Probably somewhere around double that...you're going to need a more stable food source if you're going to keep EVERYONE fed.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:25 No.8687149

    See if we can lair around the bear, rather than moving it out. A sort of you-don't-but-me-I-don't-bug-you sort of agreement.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:26 No.8687165
    You decide to head out on your own to get some mushrooms and herbs, Ninetoes accompanying you to pick them out. You manage to gather a couple satchels worth of wild plants that can be put to use. Nothing too crazy, but you found a good clump of animal feces that'd leave nasty infections for anybody stabbed or poked really hard.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:31 No.8687243
    The bear doesn't seem particularly conversational on the matter of not eating anyone, but you've figured that- since it doesn't seem interested in leaving its home for the time being- you'll be fine as it stands. Just so long as none of your stupidly impaired goblin servants decide to play Worg with it.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:34 No.8687290
    why don't we propose to make some celebration with the other village, if it is in our village we assassin every important people during/soon after the celebration, it they host it we raid in the night after our people in their village kill the sentinels
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:37 No.8687352
    This quest is pretty fantastic, I'm loving the humor.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:38 No.8687364
    It's already been a week? When did we timeskip?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:39 No.8687392
    Why not get more diggers to work? Build the holes faster, gather up some brush wood and form large piles so they can be lit on fire and tossed onto the houses?
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:40 No.8687402
    You misunderstand. The NEXT few weeks. The women are already all knocked up, it'll be about a week before they give birth. After that, it'll be about three or four MORE weeks before the children are now fit to actually do some real work. Quick breeding cycle, goblins.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:41 No.8687420
    It'd be possible to get more diggers, but you only have six shovels to work with. You'd need to make more (Not too difficult a task) to put them to work.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:44 No.8687481
    Clearly we need a fabrication core. With Nine-Toes assistance we can train a few goblins in the art of assembling stuff. (Mostly we will yell and shout and threaten till they figure it out)

    Are there any goblins that seem good for the task? If so lets put them on their first task. Making new good shovels.

    Also we need to scout new food stores. Wheres our Chief Scout? Can we fish? Maybe we can fish...

    Also set a few non-commited goblins to getting those worgs. If they die we have less mouths to feed.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:48 No.8687543
    get the bear instead
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:49 No.8687561
    Wait till we have a Tamer Goblin. (If a Goblin succeeds at taming worgs clearly he can tame a Bear.)
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:51 No.8687602
    I agree, we need more shovels. Why not put some together in a timely manner and hand them out to the goblins who aren't doing crap?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:55 No.8687671
    Then we ourselves will ride the bear into battle, with the worgie riders accompanying.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:58 No.8687718
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:58 No.8687726
    I read it as

    >the bear will ride the wolves into battle
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)17:59 No.8687733
    Of your remaining force of twenty six, six are currently occupied with digging. Your Chief Scout is currently out trying to spy on the Black Lotus goblin clan with Lockjaw accompanying him, accounting for 2 of the 4 gone so far.

    Of the remaining twenty, six are females. Five of them are pregnant and will give birth in a few days. The sixth is yo woman, and she gonna do what she's told to under penalty of being smacked down and having something important lopped off. Nothing YOU would miss, of course.

    So that leaves about fourteen or fifteen goblins sitting around uselessly. Ninetoes is willing to train any of them, and any of them are equally capable of being shouted into producing stuff the RIGHT way.

    "I'd recommend at least four of them to go get the worgs, if you deign to bother with such beasts." Nine-toes offers helpfully, your previous request for assistance yielding unprovoked aid. Truly, you MUST be wise!

    Or Ninetoes is up to something sneaky and shaman-like. Either way, he helpfully points out to the diggers to start working on a ditch for food to be stored in.

    "You want to fish, Glorious One?" He asks meekly, "Fishing needs hooks and bait and such...maybe we can capture a human who knows how? Or a book. Books are fine too."
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)17:59 No.8687735
    Bit of a long term goal though.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:02 No.8687778
    Easier to get a knockout drug and dump it into the lake/stream, then pluck out everything that floats to the top stunned.

    Also, send 6+ to get worgies.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:02 No.8687783
    Capture some humans...and books. Sounds like a good idea. Wait! Books can show us how to fish!

    Oh man we totally need to learn to read someday.....

    Oh oh idea! Human fisherman have to go near fish to fish. Maybe we can catch one near the river?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:03 No.8687793
    it will pay so mush...

    anyway let's make our woman do something useful... we need a heir...

    and there is anything in the zone that can be gathered, like berry or something (AoE ftw)
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:03 No.8687802

    "Taming the worgs should be quite intruiging, Glorious Leader." Ninetoes replies, kowtowing to you when the getting is good. "Perhaps I should have some of them work on making a pen near the river? Keep them nice and watered, yes-yes?"
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:04 No.8687814
    Only thing we could find even close to that is poop to cause infections with. Hardly ideal.

    Also whats our stocks as far as supplies is concerned? Rope? Tools? I know we have slings, some cloths, and shovels. What else?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:06 No.8687846
    they will manage to find their way trought a pen, we need them loyal
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:07 No.8687858
    >>A pen

    THAT'S IT. We dig out a shallow pool connected to the river, then have goblins jump in and herd fish (by splashing and making a tightening circle) into the shallow pool, then put a board from the wagons to block the pool's exit. Then we just pluck fish out and eat.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:07 No.8687861
    So we also make the pen our "corpse" pit. Keep em feed and they will love us!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:08 No.8687870
    Might be easier just to tie them to a peg in the ground.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:12 No.8687963
    Why not tie a rope to a goblin and tell him to swim, and when he gets eaten we pull the fish to the surface and club it to death?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:12 No.8687966
    that's it
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:13 No.8687977
    Telling your woman to get started on the heir-making by herself and that you'll be there in a couple of minutes, you decide to do a few last-minute things before a couple minute- HOURS! A couple HOURS of extremely gobliny, loud, and extremely fulfilling heir-making.

    You send out six goblins, four of them armed with spears and two with slings, to get to work on Worg-taming. You're sure that they'll probably achieve SOMETHING out of harassing the beasts.

    The remaining eight look at you stupidly. Ninetoes looks to you, "How many do you wish to go downstream for a human fisherman, Glorious One? I will have the others work on shovels!"

    As far as you've seen on your poison-scavenging exercise, you found there's a couple of apple trees and berry-bearing shrubberies in the area. Which, naturally, the local wildlife use to eat for themselves. Forager beware.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:16 No.8688029
    Have them do this instead:
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:16 No.8688039
    everybody make some shovels, as soon as one get done, get one goblin to dig the pool for "fishing", not too big, just to try out
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:17 No.8688052
    4 and 4.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:18 No.8688072
    I take this back.

    Go with
    Instead for now. We can snag a fisherman later.

    More goblins around to defend ourselves just in case is good too.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:22 No.8688118
    You have:
    -20 Gold coins and 10 silver
    -6 shovels
    -A few bolts of very comfortable cloth
    -2 gold wedding bands
    -Spiky Board (Wooden plank with nails driven through it)
    -Ten silver nails from one of the more muscular Elves, who apparently was the one that had the book in his backpack.
    -6 Elven corpses with associated paraphenalia (Clothes, backpacks, some lengths of rope, etc)
    -1 Wagon, slightly torn up due to looting.
    -Elf Meat
    -Some goblin meat too
    -Delicious ale, six bottles
    -A few satchels of animal poop for poisoning weapons.

    I could go into exact details, but basically anything you'd reasonably imagine some Elven travelers to carry on them. Stuff like waterskins, rope, bedrolls, etc.

    -10 axes
    -6 slings made from various pieces of cloth.
    -10 stone-headed axes
    -4 wooden spears with flint tips
    -Your battered iron shortsword.
    -2 Shortbows with 40 arrows in 2 quivers

    You decide to start with pegs in the ground, but have some ideas in your head for building that pen. It'd be pretty simple to chuck some bodies in there for the worgs to fight over between battles, too.

    You order two of the diggers to be diverted to building this shallow pond of yours. It's quite ingenious, really. Another wooden plank is removed as they prepare to capture some delicious fish in this holding pen.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:24 No.8688141
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    Should have saved it as a .png, but here's the plan. Board/plank goes in after fish have fled into pool. Dark spots are goblins going inward.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:25 No.8688168
    >>You decide to start with pegs in the ground, but have some ideas in your head for building that pen. It'd be pretty simple to chuck some bodies in there for the worgs to fight over between battles, too.

    Yeah, we should build it later, especially because it'd be our goblin version of a collossium.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:26 No.8688173
    River's shallow enough for this right?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:28 No.8688220
    where are we on this map ? >>8682575
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:29 No.8688229
    when we have finished with the shovels we can try to make a net to catch everything that pass tru the river
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:29 No.8688242
    In short order, under the watchful gaze of yourself and Ninetoes, the remaining eight goblins not occupied with doing something important working hard on shovels. They quickly churn out four, one of which is put to use on finishing the pond, the other three left lying next to the craftgoblins as they worked flint and wood into fine pieces of goblinship.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:30 No.8688251
    Even if most of it isn't, we'll just find a spot that is.

    Later, we can bait fish to that shallow pool with some of the corpse remains, hacked into little bits.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:31 No.8688268
    Once the fishing pen is done lets get some Bola's made. We have rope we have rocks. It's a crazy idea but it may just work.

    Also we can take some rope, and planks and set up a lookout plank in the oak tree. Nice and high so we can keep a goblin up there to shout and warn us. Better to start being prepared for battles now then later.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:33 No.8688304
    we should also take the most eye-sharped and make them training with the bows
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:33 No.8688316
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:37 No.8688405
    Your plan is perfect, of course! You're a mastermind of goblinkind. Regardless, it takes another two days for the little mini-pond to be built to enough depth and size by the lone worker. Goblins aren't normally accustomed to working, more raiding. But the example of what happened to Irontooth and Fumbles is fresh in their minds of just how cruel you can be. But your cruelty won't remain enough forever, after all.

    The warren is suitably underway, with the basic living quarters in the entrance finished, as well as a crude dirt storeroom for the Elf meat starting to dry out into jerky. The goblins out Worg-taming return at this point, missing two of their number.

    On a somewhat related note, the six worgs they brought with them look nice and fed. Blood drips from their fresh saliva, and one of them is being ridden by a spear-wielding goblin. He proudly proclaims to the camp,

    "Behold! I am the Worrrrrgmasterrrrrrrrr!"

    Which, naturally, prompts the bear to let out a loud counter-roar in its cave. The goblins go dead silent before its decided the bear isn't going to do anything further. Stupid bear. Stupid goblin tamer.

    Either way, the warren's still under construction, but at least you can get out of this awful sun and into a cool, damp place. Kind of reminds you of when you clawed your way out of your mother's womb in a suitably leaderlike fashion.
    Map? What map? You're a goblin! Silly goblin, you can't read maps...yet. You're barely even grasped the concept of literacy.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:40 No.8688449
    Worgenmaster. You wake up bear. You go tame it.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:41 No.8688461
    >one of them is being ridden by a spear-wielding goblin. He proudly proclaims to the camp,
    >"Behold! I am the Worrrrrgmasterrrrrrrrr!"
    send him into the cave of the bear. alone. he is dangerous, too power. hiw worg is our worg now
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:41 No.8688476
    lol we're the man. brofist.jpg
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:42 No.8688493
    Excellent. Tie the wargs to the pegs for now, have the best two tamers keep taming them and teaching them to be ridden. Feed them elf jerky if needed. We'll need to make them saddles at some point.

    Everyone else, it's time to herd some fish.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:42 No.8688496
    I'm worried that we are running through goblins at a pretty fast pace. Not that this should stop us, but something to keep in mind
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:43 No.8688512
    No, we need him to keep taming, he's the best of them.

    Don't get rid of all the help.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:44 No.8688529
    so we still have to:
    make a net
    finish the fishing pool
    bow training
    make bolas
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:45 No.8688543

    So long as we protect our breeders we'll have a stable supply.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:45 No.8688555
    he's not the best, he's only the one who show off the most
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:46 No.8688577
    Save the worgmaster for now, make him train the worgs we have.
    We need to let him skill up and then protect him as much as possible when attempting to tame the bear.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:47 No.8688591
    He's good enough to be the only one riding one of the worgen.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:47 No.8688597
    Eh, once we have the bear we can afford to off him.

    But we want to ride the bear.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:47 No.8688608
    Arming two of the returning tamers with bows, you set them to work on learning how to shoot for half a damn.

    The worgmaster, who doubtlessly was conspiring with others to overthrow you, is quickly looking crestfallen as you give him his curt new orders. The lone idle goblin shoves him off of his worg, which simply lets out a high-pitched cackling sound as it and the other five worgs are led towards the pegs in the ground. Ninetoes heads over to inspect the riding mounts.

    "Erm, tame the, err, bear?" He inquires, wide-eyed. "May I, err, get some help, pleaaaaase?" He asks, the last word coming out as a begging whine.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:48 No.8688621
    uh i didn't got it... if it is so we have to spare him... for now...
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:50 No.8688667
    Sure. We want that bear to ride for ourselves. So we'll go help. We're scarier than that bear, and we'll prove it.

    Also the other tamers can come too. Plus someone worthless, as bear food. The worthless guy should be carrying meat.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:51 No.8688685

    Fine, fine. I'm not too paranoid, for as long as we continue to bring success no goblin will take our place.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:51 No.8688686
    was he really the best one of them?
    then we can just say that he must watch over his mouth and tell him to teach us and the other goblins how to ride a worg
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:54 No.8688745
    the bear wont leave the cave right? if so its probaly a mother bear or injured. we should kill it. if its a mom bear then it has cubs and they can be tamed and used as bear calvery. if its cripeled or injured it should be killed before it recovers.

    once we get enough shovels have the craft goblins focus on spears, equip all of your fighters with them. spend a few days practiceing haw to use them. try to learn how to phalanx or hegehog. then attack the bear with fire and spears.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)18:54 No.8688747
    You decide to show him some mercy. Unusual for the goblins, but you instead send him out to get his shins nibbled off by vicious carp in the river alongside some of the freshly-freed crafters.

    They quickly begin flubbering about, trying to goad the fish into the shallow mini-pond.

    Indeed you will! The women are already past the halfway point as far as the pregnancy goes, and in a few more days they'll be ready to spew those little gnoblars out like some kind of automatic weapon!

    The net, fishing pool, and bolas are done with. Bow training is ongoing, but as it stands you have 7 goblins (6 shovelmakers and 1 Worg Tamer) are currently unbusy.

    You appoint one of the idle goblins to work on attaching a plank to the tree. In short order, a small lookout point is created, with a good view of the woodland down below. You're thinking of having a throne built there, were it not for the fact that sitting on a throne would irritate your spiky ass.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:54 No.8688752
    cancel this
    do this instead
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:56 No.8688783

    Surreptitiously inspect the bear. If wounded, nurse it to health personally to build a rapport so we, and only we, can ride it in to battle. If a mother, kill and take over the child-rearing duties so we have a stable of bears for riding.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:56 No.8688788
    Yes do this.

    Either we'll be GLORIOUS leader with a bear mount or a we'll be bear poo
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:57 No.8688815
    Worg tamer, keep taming.

    Other six, help fishing. Once we get some fresh meat and blood, we can lure fish into the pond and then cut off their escape, instead of herding them in.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:58 No.8688828
         File1269125897.jpg-(91 KB, 720x768, Ayyyyy.jpg)
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    Lets do this.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)18:58 No.8688836
    Throw the bear some Elf Meat first to start giving it a taste for not-goblin. That and to make sure it isn't hungry.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:00 No.8688871
    Not to mention taming a bear would discourage any sort of betrayal. Both the bear itself as well as the fact that we TAMED A FUCKING BEAR.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:01 No.8688889
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:01 No.8688908
    AND we can stay in the cave with the bear and make our throne/HQ/court there.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:03 No.8688928

    This gets better and better
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:03 No.8688939
    IF the bear won't kill us
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:03 No.8688940

    Nice! Good thinking.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:05 No.8688980
    Pour female bear urine on the worg tamer.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:05 No.8688982
    The crafters churn out another four shovels for a grand total of fourteen before working on spears, which are slightly more simple to work with. Flint is broken into sharp shapes, and relatively straight sticks made into spears. Ten spears in total are created, eight of which are used by your underling goblins in some basic training. They don't have shields, but you can at least teach them how to stab the right way. Which is "Stab, stab, stab s'more, keep stabbing, check if enemy is still moving, stab once more for good measure."

    He also teaches you and the other training speargobs how to ride the worgs. Which is somewhat like Using the Force, only you have to worry about the thing under your legs trying to bite off the /other/ thing under your legs. But bareback worg riding isn't too insane, and you and the others eventually manage to pick up worg-riding.

    The course of these events takes up four days...leading to the united birth of the womenfolk. Ninetoes takes his absence at this point to tend to them and ensure that the Goblin Gods are smiling. And by Goblin Gods, he means you, Glorious One.

    Do you wish to sally forth on the bear cave now, or stick around a bit longer to have the archers finish their training and give the spearmen a bit more experience?

    Sidenote: The fish-gatherers are currently doing quite well. The shallow pond has accumulated a large number of fish, which has supplemented the current store of Elf Meat considerably. Even ferocious Carp cannot stand against your ingenuity!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:07 No.8689018

    Have our Archer-goblins standing at the mouth of the cave in case anything goes wrong, and cautiously enter by yourself holding a piece of elf-meat jerky.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:08 No.8689027
    >enter holding meat

    While our resulting loss of a hand would lead to a badass hook-handed goblin king, let's have someone else carry the meat.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:08 No.8689030
    cave. also start producing some bows. bows are better than slings.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:08 No.8689038
    Now that's usin' your noggin!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:09 No.8689055
    Well then we were not worthy of our leader position in the first place
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:10 No.8689065

    Okay, okay. Enter holding elf-meat jerky ona STICK. We don't need no other goblins. That would undermine our authority.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:10 No.8689077
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:10 No.8689078
    also the chief tamer behind us to suggest us what to do
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:12 No.8689103
    POINTY sticks
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:14 No.8689133

    NOW you're a gobbo son!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:14 No.8689140
    No, use fresh carp instead. Bears love fish, after all.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:15 No.8689151
    Don't let another goblin stand behind us when there's something dangerous in front, you fool! That's like appointing them our heir!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:16 No.8689178

    Bears may love fish, but we need to instill in this bear a love of elf-flesh.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:17 No.8689186
    Make sure the females get knocked up again.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:17 No.8689209
    If we tame the bear, I want to go hunting with two tough (but stupid) guards on worgs and ourselves mounted on the bear.

    ECL1? FUCK ECL1!
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:18 No.8689215
    The crafters report that you will need some kind of sinew to make bows. Ninetoes, apparently, gave them a bit of instruction beyond just shovels and spears before leaving to tend to the now-birthing women.

    Arming yourself with a spear, you appoint two bowgobs to the entrance. They aim their bows down the tunnel as the rest of the speargobs stand waiting to either charge in or flee mindlessly.

    Putting a bit of Elf meat on a spear's tip, you advance into the cave, holding it forward. There's a low growl. Then a loud, thunderous sniffing. Your goblin nose perks up on a familiar smell.

    The bear is in heat. And it's not alone. Like rolling thunder, you smell the bear begin to bear down on your position, now beginning to roar.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:18 No.8689220
    Go with a stick with a Fish/Elf Meat Kabob on the end?

    Also no way should we let the tamer behind us. That's a terrible idea. We'd be better off sending him in holding the fish.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:18 No.8689230

    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:20 No.8689266
    Roar back and put the none meat end of the stick in the ground. Take a step back and roar again. Repeat until we are next to the bowgobs. So they can't shoot us in the back.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:20 No.8689271
    We did not think this through.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:20 No.8689277
    Roar back, loudly and ferociously like the mutant goblin we are. Stand our ground. Toss the meat forward.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:21 No.8689289

    It's in heat. Fuck. Why didn't you tell us this before? Alright, change of plans, drop the meat and make a tactical retreat to a safer vantage point.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:22 No.8689305
    Like CR1.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:23 No.8689318
    Running away will just prompt it to attack us. My plan is to use the great goblin general tactic of leading from the front but ending up at the rear.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:24 No.8689338
    oh shi...
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:24 No.8689353

    This seems safest.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:25 No.8689363
    this, when we reach the enterance loudly shout

    "Theres two of them, reu back to the hill!"
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:26 No.8689376
    Perhaps not, but you are a clever goblin, and clever goblin...

    Roars back at a territorial bear in heat? Oh well. With a firm flick of the spear, you send the meat forward. The female bear's roar is joined by another...two? What the hell was she, a freaking whore?

    Regardless, you take a step back as she advances, head bowed low. Another roar, this one rattling your eardrums. The female bear is the only one present, and she's currently staring at the juicy piece of meat. Which proves to you that nature really DOES hate Elves.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:26 No.8689397
    wait a sec. were super spikey goblin right? is the bear tries to bite or claw us it will hurt itself far more than us
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:27 No.8689401
    Thump chest and head back to hill. Clever goblin SEEMS brave while getting the hell out.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:27 No.8689413

    No, we either come out with a bear pet or don't come out at all!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:28 No.8689422
    It can probably take a lot more hurting than we can before dying, too.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:28 No.8689426
    so in the cave there are 3 adult bears fucking?
    how far are we from the exit?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:28 No.8689427

    One visible bear, we're in a cave, multiple audible roars. Echos, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:29 No.8689449
    Have the bowgoblins run and fetch more elf meat, quicklike.

    Were the other two roars adult male bears, cubs, or something else?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:31 No.8689489
    no, it doesn't happens every time and it didn't happened when we roared
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:32 No.8689512
    You are indeed a very spiky sort, your body being laden with half-meter spikes all along your skin. This is the one time where your spikes are actually a benefit to your health...though you hope that the bear won't need to tear you in half to learn how threatening those spikes are.

    You slowly step back as the she-bear gulps down the Elf meat, licking her very bloody teeth as you keep the spear pointed at her. The speargobs at the cave mouth look at you awkwardly as you backtrack, the bowgobs staring stupidly at the giant woman slowly advancing towards them from the back of the cave. Only now are they realizing that she is in heat.

    And that you do not fuck with a female bear in heat.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:33 No.8689540
    Grab the least valuable of these helpers and shove him forward if it looks like the bear is going to attack.

    Have the bowgobs go for more elf meat though.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:34 No.8689570
    could we fuck her instead of fuck with her?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:35 No.8689577
    I swear if we work up to fucking a bear I'm not going to be sure what to think.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:35 No.8689581
    Get elf-meat, feed bear, continue backing away and being non-threatening. Well, at least as non-threatening as an entity composed primarily of spikes can be.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:36 No.8689599
    this guy is a genius. this can be the best thing we could eventually came off with. it's pretty impossible to do, but if we succeed...
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:36 No.8689602

    I was about to suggest "Pretend to be a male bear" but then I realized two things. First, it would be really, really stupid. Second, I didn't really like the idea of where the quest might go if we opened up that possibility.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:37 No.8689621
    You thump your chest as you backtrack, apparently trying to goad the female bear. She looks down at you with feral contempt, snorting once. Dust kicks up from where her nostrils flare, and she swipes at the air hard enough that you can feel the breeze a couple meters away.

    You have made it a point in your life to avoid challenging bears when you didn't have to. As it stands, you don't think something sounds QUITE right about the other bears, but you're not exactly the sort to study how different bears roar. That's more Ninetoes' thing.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:37 No.8689625
    Then she eats us and the quest ends.

    Really now.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:37 No.8689626
    We must do this and make some bear-goblins
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:37 No.8689633
    A tribe of beargoblins? We'd conquer everything.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:38 No.8689656
    the quest is about the village. the tamer will probably became the next chief and life will go on
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:38 No.8689659
    Let's either kill the bear or come back later.

    Also fucking the bear is a silly plan. We already have a girlgob. Let's just fuck her later.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:39 No.8689671
    Dire bears? Could these be dire bears?

    Wait... are we a dire goblin?

    Fuck. ELF MEAT NOW.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:40 No.8689691
    I hoping to see our goblins heir become the next ruler by having him stab ourselves. So we can start a goblin king lineage.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:40 No.8689692
    Crossbreeding is for humans and dragons. Goblins are only good at crossbreeding when an insane wizard decides he needs a basic template creature to fuck with. You know, like make goblins grow bone sucking tentacles out of their nipples or something stupid like that. We don't want that, do we?

    Regardless, failure is only temporary. According to Wikipedia, bear courtships are extremely brief, so in a few weeks we should be able to attempt taming again without the nasty "in-heat" business.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:40 No.8689695
    We can get her a bear costume.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:41 No.8689702
    come later when the bear will have clubs, kill every bear inside, take the clubs
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:41 No.8689710
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:41 No.8689718
    why can't we fuck both?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:41 No.8689721
    Made out of bear pelt. But let's do this another time. Let's just walk away.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:42 No.8689725
    Doing stupid things is reasonably Goblin-like. On the second thing you mentioned... You kind of have a point there. Although '[what's our name, anyway?] the Bear-Fucker, most glorious Goblin Leader, blessed by Torg (HAIL TORG!)' is an AWESOME title.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:42 No.8689732
    Hey, we're already mutated and blessed by the gods. It could work
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:43 No.8689751
    No fucking the bears, please.

    Regardless, I'm curious about the other two. Are we sneaky?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:43 No.8689756
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:43 No.8689761
    Let's just feed it elf meat every day for the next bunch of days to get it acclimated to us. Then try again.

    Post a sentry to watching the cave closely.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:44 No.8689791

    First reasonable suggestion I've heard.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:45 No.8689807
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:45 No.8689821
    Decent plan. We leave for now and claim to have faced the bear head on.

    Come back when she's not in heat with even more meat.

    We don't have to do this day 1.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:45 No.8689830
    The bowgobs scurry off towards the hill at your urging, and you- wisely- demand someone to come and attack for your favor. Seven gobs move at once to shove the eighth of their number forward, who limply raises his spear to try and ward off the rampaging bitch of a bear.

    You briefly consider whipping out your Staff of Lordly Might, but then realize two things. One is the fact that she's got a mouth twice as big as your head, and the other is that you doubt you even have the REACH to get anywhere near the "Target zone".

    Wait. Of course you do. Because you are GOBLINLY. Granted, you'll need to get around her and hope she doesn't claw you so hard your Staff doesn't become a Rod.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:46 No.8689856
    i dont think we have enough elf meat, and when we run out it/they will have a go at eating us.
    >> The Bookkeeper !msfRxwh3Zk 03/20/10(Sat)19:46 No.8689859

    Unrelated: OP, that's my name!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:46 No.8689861
    But but we would be passing up our chance at becoming a Goblin legend.
    What are you, some kind of risk averse Elf?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:48 No.8689893

    Well, we should have at least two carcasses left, and if we only eat fish for a few days we should have enough elf left over to sate the bear.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:48 No.8689900
    Do it, prove our Gobliny might through the medium of bear fucking
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:49 No.8689918
    I don't like where this is going.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:49 No.8689930
    We can feed it some Fish too.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:50 No.8689936
    Goblin legend would be fucking the bear forever.

    Let's play it "safe" for now.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:50 No.8689945
    and they can eat fish too
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:51 No.8689965
    Let's fucking do it! Have the other gobbos distract her with some elf meat.

    Also, somewhat related, why can't we roll for stuff like skill-checks whenever the chieftan does something? We're him, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:52 No.8689968
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:52 No.8689977
    The thought occurs to you to just walk out and never speak of this failure again, except when giving the Bear Queen the occasional chunk of bribe-meat. She decides, in her most vicious wrath, to give the goblin spear-wielder a solid lesson on pointing stuff at her.

    With a throaty roar, she tramples on the goblin, snapping his spear in half. The bowgobs return at this point as she takes his whole head into her mouth...then pops it like an overripe grape.

    Blood splatters at your feet as you get to the cave mouth, the bowgobs carrying one fish in each hand. The remaining speargobs look at the female bear in terror as she chomps at the base of the fallen gob's neck.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:53 No.8689990
    DO NOT WANT. See you, OP.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:53 No.8689997

    The sagas about us will be told for millennia

    >[on unrelated note: spellcheck shows "millennia" as faulty spelling while "millenniums" right spelling]
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:54 No.8690000
    just feed the bears for some months until we know that she has cubs
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:54 No.8690008
    Oh, fuck this. We were going to get her dependent on our food, not pay her off.

    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:54 No.8690010

    Well, fuck that shit! WE'RE the only ones that can execute our goblins!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:55 No.8690024
    Goblins don't tell sagas. They don't remember the foolish and silly shit other Goblins have done to get themselves killed.

    This is a silly and stupid plan. Let's go back to building an empire!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:55 No.8690031
    I say we mention to the other gobbos how we stared a bear down, which obviously the others couldn't manage.

    Then we come back later with fish.

    All you who want bear fucking, you could have a bear mistress instead of a bear fling.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:56 No.8690037
    It's on your hip. Why you think we would go anywhere without our sword and spiky plank is beyond me.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)19:56 No.8690043
    Yes, but you're talking about sexually assaulting a very-pissed-off bear that you just got all worked up with sharp spears, fresh goblin meat, and Elf meat. This thing is a furry ball of DEATH.

    You'd need a natural 20 to succeed if you dare to try this. You're a fresh goblin leader, blooded only by a single ambush, against one of goblinkind's worst natural predators. Armed only with a spear.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:57 No.8690069
    rolled 18 = 18

    Let's roll.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)19:58 No.8690087
    That was to kill, not rape. I want to avenge the death of our goblin soldiers.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:00 No.8690118
    rolled 12 = 12

    well I'll roll to rape then
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:00 No.8690122
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:00 No.8690127
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:01 No.8690140
    To kill. I don't want to fuck the bear - I'm >>8689751

    Let's smite it and see what else is in that cave. Spears in front, archers in the back, rock that 18.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:01 No.8690143
    Order the bowman to shoot her and run behind the spearmen. Order the spearmen to plant the spears for her charge and do as much damage to her as possible.

    THEN attack her.

    IF we are doing this ><
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:01 No.8690144
    Deciding, wisely, not to rape the damn giant bear, you quickly attack it. Besides, you can always dress up your bitch at home as a bear if you want to fulfill some sick, perverted fantasy. You fucking Bearophile.

    Stabbing forward with your spear, you land an amazing blow on the surprised bitch. Your spear goes right through her left eye, near-fatally injuring her. Blood pours from the injury site as she treats, her massive claws attempting to shatter the spear. Grabbing your spiky board in one hand and your shortsword in the other, you prepare for mortal combat with the injured bear.

    The bear, for her part, doesn't look interested in fighting anymore. She's slowly backing up, occasionally pawing at the spear in her eye before roaring. The gobs are now captivated by your display, all of them paralyzed by such brilliant heroics.

    The move is yours!
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:02 No.8690153
    no, we won't kill the bear that can provide us cubs, counting that there are others 2 bears in thath cave ready to kill us and ours tribe
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:03 No.8690167
    I'd engage it with the shortsword, but grabbing the spear and twisting seems like a more effective way to end this.

    Or just pull back and order the archers to finish it.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:03 No.8690170
    Oh FFS. Smash smash smash is she moving? Smash smash smash and smash again.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:03 No.8690171
    You're average in the sneaky-factor for goblins. Which is to say, pretty damn stealthy when you've got the advantage of surprise. But with a suddenly-wounded bear backtracking, stealth won't have much effect here.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:03 No.8690174
    Great, now that she's injured and distracted we can easily rape the bear
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:03 No.8690177
    rolled 9 = 9


    Rolling to intimidate and impress will.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:05 No.8690206
    why one person rolling is deciding the destiny of all?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:05 No.8690211
    rolled 15, 7 = 22

    Just club her in the head then. The second roll is to dodge the inevitable counter swipe as we move to stab her in the throat.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:05 No.8690218
    rolled 15 = 15

    grab another spear and keep attacking from a distance. also watch out for whatever else was in the cave
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:06 No.8690223
    You stand back for a second as you order the archers to level their bows. This snaps them out of their daze as they do so, the bowstrings twanging as they knock bone-headed arrows.

    The bear continues to retreat as the other two present in the cave emerge from the shadows.

    Cubs! Thank the Goblin Gods! Two male cubs, looking pissed at the injury of their mother, move ahead. At this point, the speargobs level their weapons. One of them readies a bola to capture the worg-sized cubs.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:07 No.8690248
    Capture. Very much capture.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:08 No.8690257
    Great the cubs will know we killed their mother and hate us for it.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:08 No.8690263
    YES YES bolas!

    Bolas both if possible.

    Then once they're captured we turn the mother into an absolutely bitching cloak for ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:10 No.8690288
    Not if we feed them enough fish.

    Also we will raise them while wearing their mother's skin, and they will think we are her.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:10 No.8690292
    That's how it works in quest threads, the first roll is the real roll no matter how shitty it is. Otherwise there would never be any progress.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:10 No.8690297

    Or we could just, you know, finish it off, eat the flesh, and make us a nice bear cape out of her fur, a helm out of her skull, a necklace from her lower teeth, and a nice totem/altar to Torg from the remaining bones.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:10 No.8690298
    You swipe forward, attacking with your spiky board. With a heavy cracking sound, you drive three nails into her skull. Blood begins to drip out of the injured site, the bear giving a sluggish swing at you.

    Trying to duck aside, you're hit. Your fiery rhetoric barely phases it as it rakes its claws across your powerful chest. Spinning backward, you crash into a cavern wall. The bear's head is lying low, slowly dragging itself back on its hind legs as its cubs growl at the approaching speartips.

    It's first-roll-first-serve in combat like this. If you roll well enough and get it done quick enough, the action is yours. OUT of combat, however, it's up to the rest of /tg/.
    >> Brutish Goblin 03/20/10(Sat)20:10 No.8690299
    They're but dumb beasts.
    >> Brutish Goblin 03/20/10(Sat)20:11 No.8690312
    Is the bear fatally injured?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:12 No.8690329
    Lure the cubs away with fish.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:13 No.8690348
    Could animals have that much intelligence? Sure they could be hostile at first but later as we feed and train them they would probably forget her and see us as parent figure
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:13 No.8690351
    rolled 3 = 3

    Rolling to pretend that didn't hurt as much as it did. Gotta look good for our band.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:13 No.8690353
    Aw man, no one-eyed bear mother as our attack bear.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:14 No.8690364

    YOU. FOOL.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:15 No.8690378
    Gambled and lost.
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:17 No.8690426
    As blood drips from your chest wound, the bolas fly out. The first one snags the cub to the left on the jaw, locking it closed as the rocks weigh down. It pitifully swipes at the device with dull claws, two of the speargobs rushing forward to drag the cub back as a second bola hits the remaining cub...

    Right along its front legs. It lets out a pitiful wail before the second bola wraps around its neck, slowly choking it.

    The mother, having none of this, gets back up on her legs. Her remaining moments can be measured in seconds now-

    With a single stab, you drive your shortsword through its remaining eye and into its brain. With a final shudder, the She-Bitch goes down. Dead.

    Outside, up on the hill, you can hear Ninetoes screaming. "They're born! The children are alive! Six times six children! Praise to the Leader!"
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:18 No.8690440

    Uhh, we should roll only when DM specifies to
    >> Brutish Goblin 03/20/10(Sat)20:19 No.8690470
    That was a pretty cool post. Let's make sure they don't strangle that cub accidentally and drag the bears back to camp. I guess we'll need to build an enclosure.

    After we've seen to the kids, come back and explore the cave.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:19 No.8690475
    I'm following that from now on. (stupid sexy dice)

    Order the mother's carcass bound by rope and dragged out. Ride ontop of the corpse. See the new children. Hold bloody spiky club the entire time.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:20 No.8690485
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:20 No.8690488
    As the bear mother lies slain, you collapse against the cave wall. You can fully expect your spearmen, or one of the archers, to finish you off and claim your throne. In fact, you see two of them approach you, spears in hand. Great. This would be how you-

    They set their spears aside, and both grab you by the arm. Hefting you up onto their shoulders, the two goblins begin to drag you out of the cavern. This was...unusual. Even as your spines dug into their shoulders, drawing blood, they continued to carry you on.

    But you were the Glorious Leader. Favored by Torg. Blessed by mutation. Slayer of the Bear Queen. Captor of the Bear Cubs.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:21 No.8690502
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:22 No.8690529
    Aww, we should have done this >>8690475
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:24 No.8690565
    rolled 12 = 12

    be sure to thank the spear men, mabey give them a bit of ale
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:28 No.8690631
    At the last moment, you mutter something to your aiding spearmen. They look at one another and grin wildly.

    With a heave, they haul you onto the dead bear mother's corpse. One speargob hefts each leg, and with a mighty heave they lift you up. Drawing your spiky club, you are carried atop the dead bear's carcass out of the cave, in full view of the entire village.

    You are the Glorious Leader. You are the Chosen. You are the Bearslayer!

    Over two dozen voices are raised in a cheer, joining the caconophy of screaming babes as Ninetoes emerges from the warren. He hefts two above his head, one in each gnarled hand.

    "New shamans! New blood! Hail the Leader!"

    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:29 No.8690663
         File1269131389.jpg-(12 KB, 300x378, captain_cook.jpg)
    12 KB
    Where are the natives, we have to teach them cricket
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:29 No.8690664
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:30 No.8690672

    We should do as one guy suggested: use the bear cave as Throneroom/home/HQ
    >> Brutish Goblin 03/20/10(Sat)20:30 No.8690676
    Wow. I feel unbearable awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:31 No.8690692
    we make them our guards
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:32 No.8690723
    Yeah, these are the guys on worgs who can ride with us on our bear. I guess our wife can have the other bear, and be all 'goblin Red Sonja'.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:33 No.8690735

    Not sure if intentional pun...
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:33 No.8690736
    Name ourselves The Bear Goblins.
    Have feast, of Fish, Elf Meat, Goblin meat (why waste it?), and BEAR MEAT! And Ale.

    First dibs on bear meat goes to the speargobs, bowgobs, shaman, and of course ourself.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:35 No.8690749
    the other bear is for our son
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:36 No.8690758
    rolled 6 = 6

    have a few spear goblins check the cave for anything useful.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:36 No.8690763

    Also, bloody the goblin kids with the blood of the she-bear. Like they do in fox hunts.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:36 No.8690779
    Wife? What's a 'wife'? You sound like one of those frilly elves.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:37 No.8690797

    We don't have "wives," sir. We have incubators.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:38 No.8690807
    we treat well the two spearmen that helped us instead of killing giving ale and special privileges, then after the celebrations we start planning how to use the bear's cave to nake it as our HQ and start taming the bears (one of them personally)
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:41 No.8690847
    Oh right, we should totally have royal guards - bunch of more skilled warriors who have it better than the rest. This will ensure we have loyal military might and if there is an uprising they will stand with us
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:42 No.8690866
    The natives? They're to the south. Black Lotus clan. Very terrible. Quite a burden, but they should be taught pacifism after all!

    I'm glad you were all pleased by the outcome of this! It could have ended...messily, to say the

    As you take your tour, seeing the six sweating goblin women surrounded by a small army of suckling children fighting for teats. The children on your own woman are particularly fierce in fighting for position, truly, they are your own kin!

    You quickly appoint the speargobs as your personal guard, and move your home into the cavern. It's a decently spacious cave, and you have two of your guards (Who were all crafters before their reassignment) work on skinning the bear and converting it into a set of royal regalia (And a very nice carpet).

    The Worgmaster is diverted from work to get the bear cubs all penned up, the other fish-herder diverted from work now that the shallow pond is as close to brimming as possible. It's damned off for the hungry to dip into as necessary, and you can't help but congratulate yourself on how good of a job you've done so far.

    Then, you hiss slightly as Ninetoes works on stitching up your wounds with one of the silver nails and a bit of bear sinew. Still.

    Life is good.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:42 No.8690868
    Check around the cave for any other desirables. If there are snakes, we can extract their venom. If there are giant spiders, we can make silk and ride them. If there are bats, we can give their guano to our shaman. Shamans love bat shit, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:45 No.8690911
    Yeah, probably because they're usually completely bat shit insane.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:46 No.8690921
    Ask Ninetoes if any of the children show shamanic potential. He'll probably interpret this as somewhat Machiavellian, so explain to him it is your intention to expand this tribe as never before and it would be good to have many shamans. Shamans, perhaps, that he can train? Extoll the virtues of being Chief Shaman, too.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:46 No.8690925
    how long til lockjaw returns?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:46 No.8690928
    >Shamans love bat shit, right?
    i lolled
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:47 No.8690940
    Whatever happened to that Chief Scout and Lockjaw? Maybe their both dead....

    May be getting close to time teach them "pacifism". Or as Goblins understand it beat the piss out of them and make them part of the tribe.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:48 No.8690957
    If not we can make our shaman love bat shit
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:48 No.8690958
    Oh yeah, and what are our two helper spearmen called? Make them 'sergeants' and place them in charge of training.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)20:50 No.8690987
    Well Two children are shamans. Which is quite the boon. idk if they are ours.

    Also is this thread auto-saging?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:51 No.8691009
    Oh yes, the Black Lotus clan. Whatever became of our scouting party, anyway?

    Now that we're all set up, we should be on the lookout for worthwhile raiding targets in the vincinity. A life of peaceful mucking about is not a life that Torg (HAIL TORG!) meant for Goblinkind. We should most likely post sentries alongside the roads in the area as a starting point.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:51 No.8691012
    How big is that tribe anyway?

    If it's much smaller than us, then yes, we should unite all goblins and wreck terror on Elves
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:51 No.8691016
    they may be complete idiots, it's better don't do this, but let them focus on guarding

    and how good is life while we are in charge...
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:52 No.8691036
    For that matter, what is OUR OWN name, anyway?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:53 No.8691047
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:53 No.8691051
    They're loyal, it would be good to instill that, but I see your point.

    Alright, I think it is autosaging. New thread?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:54 No.8691070

    Don't we have until 300 posts before it hits autosage now?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:55 No.8691089
    last i looked we were near 280
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)20:56 No.8691092
    You plan on your feast as thoughts of grandeur enter your head. This was just with what ONE caravan could provide...

    Imagine what two could do! Or three! Perhaps you could even sack an entire village?!

    Ninetoes offers to handle this personally, and approaches your new headquarters humbly. "Oh Glorious Leader!" He begins, "I think I have served you well! Might I be graced to have one of these women for my own children?"

    Poking around the cave, you find a small mountain of corpses and bones. Mostly adventurers, you find a nice assortment of weaponry and valuables amongst them. Of the dozen corpses, four have pikes and dented scale armor. One appears to be dwarven in nature, with quite a bit of tough sinew on his bones, as well as a.../very/ shiny axe in his hands. It's a beautifully made axe. Pure steel, with a dwarven-made axe hilt. It's pretty. Shiny, and very pretty.

    The remaining seven corpses appear to be random townsfolk. One appears to be a blacksmith of some sort, for his body bears a small iron hammer, tongs, and various other smithy-related items. Three were former fishermen, marked by the hook-laden caps remaining on their tattered corpses. You could probably make some nice fishing rods out of them...or a new, devious weapon!

    The rest of them were just commoners. Stupid commoners. All told, they had about five gold coins between the lot of them and around thirty copper. Which isn't too bad, in addition to the clothes on their back and a few mementos like lockets and house keys.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)20:58 No.8691100
    >313 posts and 6 image replies omitted
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:00 No.8691162

    Sure, he gets permission. Always a good thing to keep the shaman on your side. Claim the axe for yourself, and see if you can't jury-rig upgrade your armor with some of the scale-mail. Our two bodyguards get halberds and scale-mail, and we reserve the last set for a potential third bodyguard.

    Also, we'll need to learn how to smith at some point in the distant future.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:00 No.8691166
    Ninetoes can pick one of the newly born goblins, some of which are presumably female, and have her as his designated mate once she matures.

    That should keep him mildly loyal for a couple extra months, before he begins supporting his progeny's bids for power.

    We get that shiny, shiny axe for ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:00 No.8691177
    take the dwarf axe as a repalsement for your shortsword and hand the rest out to your goblin spearmen (best armour and pikes to semi trustworthy) use fish hooks and line for fishing. use commoners cloths for slings.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:01 No.8691182
    Can anyone use the blacksmith gear?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:02 No.8691207
    This. Maybe the shaman can do something with the lockets and trinkets? Voodoo stuff?
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)21:03 No.8691215
    Trying to get thread archived. Can't tell what thread number is. Feel stupid.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:03 No.8691219
    Yes he may. MORE SHAMANS.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:04 No.8691234
    It's already archived.

    Also, notice 'most' goblin magic is shamanistic. That assumes there is some that is not. Ask the shaman about this.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:04 No.8691246
    how many females are born?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:04 No.8691247

    I think you should rename yourself Stupidish Goblin. That jokingly said, we're thread number 8682575. I propose Archival as Goblin Fort 1, and an exodus to a new thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:07 No.8691287
    Seems it was accidentally archived twice. One with the actual thread, and one being some manga dump.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)21:08 No.8691304

    Definitely give the Shaman permission.

    Make two fishing poles. It is a matter of pride to learn to fish. Also have some goblins learn to make hooks.

    Proceed to use the rest of the hooks in the construction of traps and a nasty device very much like a Bola only with hooks along the rope.

    And put all the keys along a string. Maybe we can do some night time STEALING? Keys are good for getting into places all quiet like.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:08 No.8691310
    Our GM obviously has experience running games. This has been fantastic.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)21:13 No.8691380
    I managed the one that works. Not the Manga Dump. Guessed it correctly.

    Clever for a Goblin is still stupid apparently.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:18 No.8691456
    will there be another goblin settler quest after this one? if so when?

    how much more for tadays quest?
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)21:21 No.8691503
    "Two do, yes, oh Supreme One. I shall raise them as my own, if you do not see fit to simply /give/ me my own..." Ninetoes replies, smiling widely.

    How long is entirely relative. He was simply sent out to "gather intel" on the Black Lotus tribe. He might be a week, or a month or two.

    War is not unheard of, and with your current tribe numbers, you might- MIGHT- stand a chance. But you'll need to train for war and stealthing about. Since Black Lotus fucking LOVES stealth.

    That wouldn't be too difficult. You easily have two speargobs stand watch on the roadside.

    They say they're "tight nit" but from what you've last heard, they're no more than twenty or thirty total. With your fresh batch of kids...you could assimilate them. If they don't out-stealth you first.

    The two spearmen who helped you? They're Onebrow and Clawfoot. Nice chaps. Not too bright, but nice.

    And with this, I believe we should call it a night. We have BEARS SLAYAN accomplished...next?

    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:25 No.8691561
    When will you be hosting again?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:26 No.8691579


    I caught the tail end of this, but damn, you run a good quest.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:28 No.8691618
    Alright. Here's my proposition:

    Ninetoes gets a girl. Whether one who is going to grow to maturity (potential squick) or one of the females already around. He also trains the shaman kids... not not as his children. You will raise them with your own brood, and he will teach them magical powers.

    Give Clawfoot one of the uh... 'clawed feet' of the bear. I can't think of a suitable totem for Onebrow, so he can have another foot too.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)21:35 No.8691700
    Considering he was ready to run 3 other races at the start and managed to do so well with the descriptions. I concur.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:35 No.8691704

    When should I tune in?
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:38 No.8691757
    Either a ton of prep or one hell of a lot of writing talent.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:40 No.8691791

    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)21:40 No.8691798
    Claiming the axe for yourself, and giving an overjoyed Ninetoes a woman, your men new gear, you feel the higher echelons of your society become more appeased at your reign.

    Of the thirty-six goblins born, nine are female. Ninetoes takes this in stride and bows. It's only a month before he can have his own progeny born anyways, and the shaman is glad to help with anything in the meantime.

    You assign your crafters to get to work, and Ninetoes oversees the whole operation. He stares at the mementos with a cocked eyebrow, holding a pendant in one hand. "Hmm, yes. Yes." He says, "I shall do my utmost, Glorious Leader! I will use what I can, but, perhaps I might yield better results with something from a human mage's tower or the like? Would be useful, I think."

    I'm glad you liked it! Next quest SHOULD be tomorrow, but if it isn't, I'll post something.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)21:42 No.8691818
    and now I want to figure out how to update sup/tg/ with the last few posts before it gets to page 15. It was almost there last I checked.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:42 No.8691828
    Same time?

    This was really good, I liked it a lot. Not much of a one for quest threads, but the badass goblin riding a bear... that was just cool.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:43 No.8691836
    It automatically updates every hour but if you're worried it will disappear first just enter the first post again. It'll update, albeit you'll need to enter some spam like 'a' in the other fields.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:45 No.8691860
    Oh, it needs to be updated manually? I though it happened automatically
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)21:45 No.8691865
    Thank you all for the complements...and the totem thing should be simple enough to accomplish. To be honest, I improvised most of this on the run. Though the BEAR RAPE thing threw me for a curve...I mean, really. Bear rape.

    But hey, at least you can make a bearsuit for your wimmin to wear so they can forever remember BEARSLAYER LEADER.
    >> Cleverish Goblin. 03/20/10(Sat)21:46 No.8691880
    Ah ha. Learned a lot about such things today. It's on page 7 so it should last the 20 or so minutes until the refresh.

    Also I didn't get the bear rape either....
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)21:46 No.8691886
    Yep! And I'm glad you did like it.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:53 No.8691984
    YEah right, we are making a bitchin' fur coat or a cloak out of that
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)21:55 No.8692028
    >Though the BEAR RAPE thing threw me for a curve...I mean, really. Bear rape.

    Well, we were only 2 points short of that happening.
    I wonder what you would have come up there
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)21:58 No.8692071
    Honestly? I'd probably have had it succeed for maybe a second or two, followed by one of the cubs whacking you off of her and proceeding with Micro-Mauling.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)22:03 No.8692145
    Hah, that would have been hilarious

    Did you have anything prepared for the other races? or was it all made up in the spot?
    >> Book Keeper 03/20/10(Sat)22:12 No.8692306
    Human? Noble looking to make a name for himself, ends up being given task to inhabit UNHOLY ISLAND OF TERROR with whatever supplies the King's gold can buy you.

    Dwarf: Set out to make a new fortress. DF ensues, only with less insanity and more above-ground action.

    Formians: Basically, Aliens meets...well...Starship Troopers. EXPAND HIVE, GO FORTH, PSYCHIC RAPE.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)22:15 No.8692359
    Glad we chose goblins then, although human also sounds entertaining.

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