get out of here lina

Amethyst Dragon: Amethyst Dragon is a variety of Underdark Dragon. As such, most of the methods of preparation for it in meals are Drow recipe; the primary consumers of Amethyst dragons (when they themselves are not being consumed, that is). This means that most dishes involving Amethyst dragons involve the preparation of several varieties of underdark mushrooms, lichen, and algae, and sauces derived from local creatures. Like most dragons, the Amethyst dragon is naturally poisonous to eat untreated. Unlike most dragons, however, the effects of this poison are roughly similar to that of alcohol and not all that harmful. For Drow, who do not get drunk on actual alcohol easily, eating a small plate of Amethyst dragon is roughly equivalent to a normal human drinking half a keg of beer. Drow drinking parties are usually quiet, subtle affairs. Drow Amethyst dragon feasts, however, are one of the rare occasions where loud noise and boisterous celebration are common. Amethyst Dragon is also naturally extremely tough; most humanoids are unable to consume it in it's natural state, and typically must boil it to render it edible. This causes the loss of the alcoholic type effect, and is not the preferred method of preparation. Amethyst Dragon is typically shredded into small chunks, then drenched in a solution of Drow make. While the exact ingredients are kept secret, one of the primary ingredients is a variety of giant spider venom, carefully milked by Drow priestesses. Others include a weak lye solution and water saturated with underdark radiation. When mixed in the proper proportions and boiled for several weeks, the meat reaches an equivalent level of tenderness to that of shredded beef

>>8125174
. Amethyst Dragon is, to many people's surprise, naturally sweet. It's flavor is well complimented by plum sauces especially, but also goes well in mango and peach sauces. It is typically served in a sauce consisting of plum and sweetspice spice-lychens (somewhat like nutmeg, vanilla, cinnamon, and others) and on a bed of sweet underdark mushrooms called, “Sweetheads”. Often, the mushrooms are dried and then allowed to soak up Amethyst Dragon's blood wine before preparation, creating a dinner that is also equivalent to dessert. Amethyst Dragon's blood, like the body, is naturally sweet and also produces the alcoholic effect; the flavor is often described as drinking very tart plum juice, but “deeper”. Wine made from Dragon's Blood is extraordinarily alcoholic, in addition to the natural effect of consuming an Amethyst Dragon's natural poison. Those without a strong constitution can actually die from drinking too much of it, which is generally no more than a glass a day. A full meal like the one described above is best taken by those with an extraordinary constitution or tolerance for alcoholic beverages.

Black Dragon: Black Dragons are generally swamp dwellers, and have a natural flavor that is described as “fishy” and “muddy” before proper preparations are made. Unusually, it is not naturally poisonous, but few who lack the knowledge of how to prepare it would want to eat it, especially considering the trouble it takes to kill one. There is only one proper way to prepare one. It is through a “raking” process. In this process, the dragon is cut into steaks and then scrubbed with a brush made of troll-hair, wire, or a pumice stone, then it is scrubbed again lightly with a brush made of dryads hair. During the scrubbing, it is best to keep it in salt water. For roughly a month and a week, the dragon meat is then suspended in vinegar. Because black dragon's blood is naturally unpalatable and possesses properties similar to vinegar, it is often used for this purpose. It is then taken, placed in a barrel (of swamp cypress for best flavor) full of a highly concentrated salt brine (with a few sprinkles of sugar) and stored below freezing for roughly two to three years. Most often, it is stored on planes of extreme cold. The end result produces a meat that is extremely flavorful, having lost it's muddy and fishy flavors, becoming quite subtly flavored. It is generally served with dill pickle, onion, and sour cream. The end result of “Drakefisk” is still something not everyone will care for, but those who do are likely to become fanatical in their love of it and hunger for more. A noted variant is “Spicy Drakefisk”, made by adding a few drops of Red Dragon broth or blood to the brine during the raking process. A “Gold Drakefisk” recipe does not seem to work, however. The flavor of black and gold dragons mix to produce something completely unpalatable. It is advised that you do not try it.

Gold Dragon: Gold Dragon is one of the simplest to prepare, because it is not poisonous and because of it's natural flavor. It has, without a doubt, the single richest flavor of any kind of dragon. The actual taste is similar to eating a beef steak covered in extremely bold and pleasing spices of indeterminate origin. Cooking it actually reduces the flavor to palatable levels. Frying, boiling, steaming, baking – all of this is perfectly acceptable. However, Gold Dragon is best served in steak form, absolutely plain. Those who must have something extra are encouraged to use little more than a small amount of Dijon mustard. Even the fat is highly flavorful; cooking with it is not unlike using a spice itself, which makes anything fried in it taste more like gold dragon. A common use is to dip small pieces of red dragon into a batter and fry it in gold dragon fat. This reduces the natural heat of Red Dragon meat while imparting some of the rich flavor of Gold Dragon to it. Some varieties call for both Red Dragon and Gold Dragon meat to be shredded and placed together before deep frying it. The actual flavor Gold Dragon imparts in terms of the “extra spices” is completely incomparable to anything else. It is something like a combination of the smell of cloves, the bite of raw garlic, the flavor of something low, rich and fatty, an airiness like whiskey, a small degree of sweetness, a hint of butterscotch, and a swift kick in the teeth. It is so flavorful that, although universally pleasing to all who eat it, it is almost painful. The flavor can be reduced by long periods of boiling (a year or more) which makes it easier to handle for some. If boiled in water even for a few minutes, the water itself tastes like gold dragon and is a key ingredient in many soups where actual gold dragon would be overwhelming.

>>8125207
Many varieties of “Gold Dragon Soup” do not actually include any Gold Dragon, using instead normal beef and water remaining from a few minutes of boiling a small chunk of Gold Dragon meat. Few complain however, even that small degree of Gold Dragon flavor can change an ordinary stew of onions, potatoes, carrots, beef and water into something worthy of kings. Considering the wrath of Gold Dragons, it is a luxury very few kings can afford. Gold Dragon's blood is very sweet and has a butterscotch flavor. Champagne made from Gold Dragon's blood is very alcoholic and tastes similar to a combination of a very deep and hearty ale and cream soda.

Red Dragons: Red Dragons are not naturally poisonous, but do naturally produce a substance that creates an effect very similar that of strong peppers in the “heat” effect it creates when eaten. Like Gold Dragon, it can be prepared in nearly any way the chef chooses. Every part of the Red but the fangs, claws, bones and scales is edible, and every part has a spicy flavor. This flavor, despite being similar to natural pepper flavors, is also complimentary to them and goes well in pepper sauces. Red dragon is usually prepared in small quantities, shredded and breaded. Red Dragon steaks are usually served drenched in a variety of sauces, usually pepper sauces. Red Dragon has a natural deep, rich flavor somewhat similar to (although also completely unlike) beef, and is almost always enhanced by frying. Like Gold Dragon, small quantities of Red Dragon can act like a spice in soups and other dishes, adding a strong, spicy flavor to the meal. Red Dragon broth is useful in many soups. The genitals of the Red Dragon are a popular delicacy on many planes, a proven “virility cure”. However, the meat is spiciest in the genital region, and few people can stomach it even after extensive preparation. Indeed, even the most intensive preparations do not decrease the amount of heat by an appreciable amount, so it is often simply served filleted, lightly fried and covered in a white pepper sauce. Red Dragon blood is rarely drunk directly, and is instead usually used like a spice. The flavor is somewhat similar to a very salty tobacco sauce mixed with beef broth, but much hotter. It is not possible to make a wine out of it, but it is sometimes added to wines for flavor, as it dilutes well in most alcoholic solutions. Red Dragon hatchlings (newborn dragons) are not as hot as fullgrown dragons and lack the fully developed scales, talons, and fangs of adults, and are very popular dipped and batter and fried whole as a kind of “finger food”.

Shadow Dragons: Shadow Dragon tastes similar to a cross between turkey and pork. Commonly, any Shadow Dragon that is not hunted in the wild is held and force fed vast quantities of pork, cabbage and spices daily until the overfeeding results in death (usually due to a heart attack). This process can take several years and several dozen swine every day. The end result greatly increases the “pork” flavor and makes the resulting dragon meat extraordinarily fatty and flavorful. The liver is often prepared as pate. All Shadow Dragon organs and the fat are edible, but most of the rest of the meat is irredeemably poisonous. The famous “three shadow dragon pie” uses the only actual meat (not organ meat) that is edible from three separate shadow dragons. It is then covered in a dark beef gravy, pure cream, a small quantity of it's own fat, “Drow's choice” underdark mushrooms, and cayenne pepper or a touch of Red Dragon's blood. The end result is only large enough to fill a single normal sized pie. If the meat is not used in a pie, it is well prepared using oranges, molasses, and baked. Chitlins and Tripe are also commonly prepared from Shadow Dragon. The blood of a shadow dragon tastes not unlike a “poor quality cola”, and is usually used only in cooking. It can be used to produce wine, but the end result is found unpalatable by almost all races.

>>8125207
>killing a gold dragon to prepare a meal
>killing a good aligned creature to prepare a meal
>playing an evil character that has motivations beyond chaotic stupid

Green Dragon: Green Dragon is not a popular dish. They are naturally poisonous and can only be rendered edible through several years of suspension in a lime-brine. The end result is a meat almost similar to a gel in consistency, and usually only cooked one way. The “Green Dragon Orbs” are created by using a glob of the treated Green Dragon meat, breaded and deep fried. While this is often described as very tasty, with a salty citrus flavor, most do not go out of their way to prepare it. The blood is not potable.

>>8125265

Evil gourmand is your next BBEG

Emerald Dragon: This variety of dragon, like chicken, has little flavor of it's own and that flavor is largely determined by the spices used in it's preparation. As the best spices that can be used in it's preparation are the same ones used in the preparation of chicken, it's taste is usually described as being “like chicken”. It is, however, about as different as the variance of chicken and turkey, or wild pheasant. Somewhat greasy with hints of something like cedar, Emerald Dragon must be cooked to remove the natural poison in the meat. Grilled, it is often sliced into strips and served on green salad. Fried, it is breaded and served like chicken. Any chicken recipe serves perfectly well for Emerald Dragon.

Prismatic Dragon: If the Gold Dragon has the richest flavor, this dragon has the most kinds of flavor. Basically every flavor every other kind of dragon has, the Prismatic Dragon has, blended naturally to produce a completely unique taste. Always cooked plain in any cut, always served plain, the only unusual preparation is the “prismatic dragon's eye sorbet”. The fat of the Prismatic Dragon is a potent spice kingdoms have been traded for. The blood is potable, and can be turned into wine. The flavor of the blood and wine is similar to the meat, utterly unique and beyond description.

Force Dragon: This dragon is naturally poisonous and cannot be eaten, but the fat of the Force Dragon is edible. With no flavor of it's own, it curiously enhances the flavor of anything else it is prepared in to incredible levels. Gold Dragon fried in Force Dragon fat is actually dangerous; the sensory overload from the flavor being so great that some people have fallen into comas and never recovered, even with magical aid. For similar reasons, frying Prismatic Dragon meat in force dragon fat is universally lethal. Only the gods can survive the experience. It is best that normal food (any normal food) is fried in Force Dragon fat rather than other dragon meat. Even foods that should normally not be fried, such as cookies or chocolate, if they have Force Dragon fat used in place of other oils used in their preparation, can be said to be roughly ten to twenty times as flavorful as normal. If used in conjunction with strong spices, beware. Even a small pinch of a strong spice can ruin a meal prepared with Force Dragon fat.

>>8125265

in 3E, almost all options available are evil, and good is both restrictive and hypocritical, so its easy to have an evil char who's reasonable.

That's it for now. There were a few other dishes mentioned in the other thread, but this is all I have written up at the moment.

Feel free to make stat-adjustments and benefits for this (ha ha) flavor text.

carnivores generally taste pretty bad compared to herbivores

>>8125318
>>8125370

Evil cook kills people with Force Dragon-fat deepfried Prismatic Dragon meatballs.

>>8125399
"Oh, this is so- OHHHHHHHHH GOODDDDDD i'M CUMMMMIN-"
"Holy shit, did he just flavorgasm to death?"
"I believe he just did."

>>8125382
I'm just saying that having an evil campaign that doesn't fall into in-party fighting and lolmaimkillburn is pretty rare.

>>8125396
Dragons taste better. Logically, they can't survive off of actually eating other creatures; they're inherently magical and to a degree feed off of magic to sustain themselves.

Therefore, they taste better than herbivores because "I'ts magic, I ain't gotta explain shit".
>>8125399
Anyone who can solo Force Dragons and Prismatic Dragons is someone to be feared. If he's throwing meatballs at you, I would be terrified.

On the other hand, an evil chef really could let you know what it's like to dine in hell.

>>8125318
I am not heartless, and glad for it. The very act of destroying a timeless, beautiful, profoundly good being for my own ephemeral culinary pleasure imparts profound grief and remorse which serves to intensify the experience of The Meal. The emotional complexity of guilt obscured by hedonistic pleasure defines the experience, and indeed CANNOT be experienced by any other means.

For centuries I have sought out these new tastes, emotions, experiences, anywhere they can be found. Self-described heroes are a pitifully common dish, but perhaps you will serve well after some years of cyclical marination in rising hope dashed into utter despair...

>>8125431
Not really unless your group is made up of asshats.
Is your group made of asshats?

>>8125478
Oh god what...
Stolen!

>>8125478
you are an EVIL BASTARD and I mean it in the nicest possible way.

now pass the blue dragon Tartar...

And that is how Mama turned to the darkside.

>>8125431
99% of the 3E games I ran and played in were evil campaigns (defined as 51% of the PCs being evil and determining the flow) and there really wasn't backstabbing or killmaimburn to be found.

>>8125525
Mama kills dragons and cooks them for her enemies.

>>8125478
Gold dragons being made into food seems fitting karmic justice for them.

I've actually thought about running a Grell wizard with maximum ranks in Craft (cookery) and Profession (Gourmand). His goal would be to eat the multiverse, one thing at a time. He would be the ultimate eater, consuming elementals and outsiders, angels and demons, slaad, modrons, insects, gods. There would be no creature he would not try to consume at least once. His end goal would be to publish a book, titled, "What I Ate and How I Ate It."

>>8125510
Delighted to be of service. I'll hold on to this myself (or probably just archive the thread) in case I get to roll an elf in my group's Main DM Takes the Night Off Evil Campaign.

>>8125583

Explain.

>>8125634

Entry 5829774908773496: Erythnul
Decidedly unpalatable, with an overwhelming "gamy" quality. Would not consume again.

His good review would make or break a high-end extraplanar restaurant.

>>8125728
Keep colossal amounts of treasure to themselves, never using it, and are the paragons of good only in the lame context of "good = prime directive." Beings who spend all day hiding from evil certainly deserve to be consumed (literally) by it.

>>8125833

Well, all dragons are self-absorbed avaricious bastards anyway.

Hey, OP. At some point could you do a "To Serve Angels" one? I imagine Lantern Archons would make a good ice-cream.

>>8125916
Probably not. I could imagine eating OUT a few of the prettier female ones, but not eating them in the cannibalistic sense.

Dragons are big reptiles, even if they can talk. It's not cannibalism.

While Angels aren't strictly human, they're humanoid, and I dislike the idea of eating people. (Important note, dragons aren't people. They're dinner.)

>>8126080

Ah. So intelligence and goodness don't matter to you, but "does it look kinda like me" does. A pity. Anything else you plan on writing? Incidentally, eating an angel can't possibly be considered cannibalistic in the slightest, because they're made out of the consolidated concept of Good given flesh. A material planes creature is more closely related to Dragons than to Angels.

>>8126080
>are big reptiles

>>8126135
noone cares if they're good in a universal sense, only if they're good in a "how have they helped me lately." and they haven't, so...

>>8126204
Good thing you've never met a paladin.

>>8126204

Well, Angels haven't helped me lately, so Imma go hunting and fry up some delicious trumpet archon flank.

To get back on topic, my suggestion for a dish:

Emerald dragon orbs in force dragon batter. I hereby blow your mind.

>>8126135
Yep. Hypocritical, but self-aware hypocrisy.

I might write more on dragons, but nothing humanoid. Not even humanoid demons.

>>8126235
ANYTHING in fried in force dragon fat is awesome. Not just Green Dragon Orbs.

>>8126235

The essence of pure flavor!

>>8126259

Well, alright then. How about Slaadi, or certain aberrations? I think they're sufficiently alien.

>>8126226
Paladins are under zero obligation to protected fat, spoiled dragons.

>>8126324
Gold dragons are good-aligned.
Being a character that kills a good aligned creature just to see if they taste good is evil.
Irredeemably evil.

It also sounds like someone got killed by a dragon when they tried to get off their DM's tracks.

>>8126324

How do Gold Dragons even get all that money? Dragons are, as a rule, lazy. They would have had to have stolen it, especially since they don't create the works they hoard. Maybe they keep kobold slaves, although that's more of a chromatic dragon thing.

>>8126319
I have considered illithids and Slaadi.

Just treat them like octopus and frog, respectively. Deep fried Slaadi Legs and Illithid Balls.

Unless you're from Japan. They eat octopus live over there, so I hear, so eating an illithid live (although dangerous) would probably be a dangerous delicacy.

Aboleth, I have put some thought into, but haven't come up with much yet. Perhaps preparations similar to lamprey.

>>8126381

You'd have to knock the illithid unconscious first, then restrain it, and either go into some sort of anti-psionics zone or wear some sort of magical protection. Although placing it in a stockade and eating its brain would be supremely ironic.

>>8126381

What about Grell? Eating the eaters, so to speak.

>>8126359
I see no reason to think hunting a dragon for food would be evil. In the upper planes, people who want meat sure hunt intelligent, good aligned beings for food. (See: Happy Hunting Grounds)

And I don't have anything personal against metal dragons... the last time I fought one was 3.0 (maybe) and I don't recall ever dying to one.

>>8126381
>>8126422

>>8126422
Aren't there spells to shrink creatures or make them grow?

If so, just shrink the Illithid down to the size of a mouse and eat it whole, or increase your own size enough that you have achieved the same effect.

That's what all those vore-comics I like so much encourage me to do, anyway.

Oh, on the subject, sexy, naked angel women being eaten by giant succubi. That is all.

>>8126442
Here.
Read this and then make an argument.

>>8125265
I've played a Neutral character who killed good creatures for their meat. He believed eating the flesh of others would make him stronger.

My DM tried to claim I was evil for doing it. I pointed out that killing evil creatures for their meat didn't somehow make me good.

>>8126627

Mmm. Ghostly dragon. THAT needs a recipe.

>>8126627
And before someone reads the reptile comment.
Here.

>>8126627
So no reason to feel bad for hunting gold dragons.

>>8126651
Your argument is flawed.
Killing any sentient race out of want and not necessity is an evil act. Killing creatures because you think it will make you stronger is just a reason to commit atrocities. It doesn't justify them.

>>8126706
Killing creatures for food isn't a remotely aligned act.

>>8126627

Yeah, you posted pretty much the worst section to give a reason for not hunting down and killing the thieving creatures. Besides, killing dragons isn't evil, it's a staple of fantasy. Why would killing a dragon for it's treasure be less evil then killing a dragon for it's body? Why can adventurers make dragon-leather armor but not dragon soup?

>>8126720
Killing SENTIENT creatures. I feel like you just aren't even reading my statements now.
If you have to kill someone to survive in the world, I wouldn't judge that as anything-aligned. If you go out for the sole purpose of killing intelligent creatures to eat them, then yes, you are evil.

>>8126706
That's the thing. He didn't just go "I feel like eating this now." and kill it at random.

He would go into an area, find the strongest thing he could, and hunt it for food. If he could find a dragon, he always, always hunted it first, because it was almost always the strongest creature in the area.

One time it was a bronze dragon. One time it was a black. Both times he hunted it for the exact same reason: he needed food and wanted it to come from the strongest animal he could find.

>>8126770
Again, in the Beastlands (aka Happy HUNTING Grounds) people hunt sentient, good aligned beings for their flesh 24/7. Dragons are fair game.

>>8126745
Look at what the 2 previous posts in the reply chain. It was more of a reply to >>8126324

Evil-aligned dragons are the ones that steal, and since that seems to make it ok to kill Gold (read GOOD aligned) by the same logic all humans are lazy, thieving, and fat slobs that have no place on the planet just as bandits are.

>>8126774
So if I walked into a city of just humans and said, "Damn, I'm hungry!" it would be fine for me to ask for the best fighter, murder him, and set up a BBQ pit in front of his house.

>cuisine made from dragons.

Recipe for rabbit stew: first, catch the rabbit...

>>8126834
That'd be cannibalism.

Eating a dragon isn't cannibalism.

>>8126790
What's that from? Could you explain it better, I feel like that's some exception as the beings of the upper planes aren't really bound by the same rules as mortals.

>>8126865
What about an elf? They aren't human.
So then you only kill creatures that don't walk on two legs?
Cannibalism is wrong mainly due to the fact that the other person is as intelligent as you. Dragons are as intelligent also, therefore it is just as bad as cannibalism.

>>8126940
Actually, cannibalism is wrong because it can kill you.

Beyond that, towns aren't hunting grounds, at least they weren't to my character. Also, D&D puts humans/elves and other creatures in the humanoid catagory, implying they're related somehow. And he didn't hunt monsterous humanoids either, before you ask.

>>8126940
Incorrect. Dragons are just giant lizards, and not people.

Elves are assholes and might deserve to be killed en masse and their corpses dumped into common pits (or better yet, used as rape slaves) but the don't deserve to be eaten. They're people.

Dragons are not people. They do not have societies; they're lone horders that occasionally get together to screw. They do not have law, or order, or communities. They have the law of, "Rawr, I'm a dragon, fuck you do what I say or I chomp you!". Even the good ones.

Dwarves? Civilized. Elves? Civilized. Lizardmen? At least they have communities. Dragons? Lone, powerful bastards who, even if good aligned, are complete dicks to everyone.

They can talk? So the fuck what? There are no dragon mayors to hand out adventures to traveling parties. There are dragon steaks in the kitchen, however, so fry one up and pass me the A-1.

>>8127013
So if there was a paragon of good that wasn't humanoid, and it was the strongest thing around. You would walk up and kill it and then proceed to eat it?

>>8127076
most likely.
he would eat a paragon of evil if it was the strongest as well.

>>8127076
Depends on how much of an asshat they are, and whether they look human.

And gods, in general, are okay to eat. They're not people either. They're gods. And if you can eat a god alive, there aren't many people who could stop you even if they wanted anyway.

>>8127123
maybe the lady of blades would kill you because killing a god would fuck up the scale of neutrality.

>>8127076
>You would walk up and kill it and then proceed to eat it?
A. Wouldn't walk up to it.

B. Most likely, unless there was a good reason not too(It's a good guy is not a good reason).

C. I'd prepare it first, but yes.

And as someone else said, I'd do the same thing to a paragon of evil. Would doing that make me a good guy?

>>8127175
Which is why you eat a good one AND a bad one at the same time. Proper dietary balance.

>>8127175

I don't think the Lady of Pain enforces neutrality on a cosmos-wide scale. In fact, she seems to have no power outside Sigil. She's mainly concerned with Sigil and its workings, not anything outside it.

>>8127224
That's evil.
as I said here
>>8126770

>>8127239
That being said, I advise that you do not attempt to eat the lady of pain.

I've heard that she tastes something like Iron, but that might just be that people who've tried eating her end up tasting their own blood.

>>8127400

On my culinary quest to prepare and consume the multiverse, I intend to avoid Sigil entirely.

>>8127298
In D&D it isn't. Killing something that is evil is a good act, no matter what it is.