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  • File : 1265265254.jpg-(986 KB, 1344x1512, 1264912835521.jpg)
    986 KB Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:34 No.7915533  
    ITT What if vidya game characters were tabletop PCs?

    Kaidan is the guy who spent hours writing up his backstory, but is too crappy at roleplay to actually implement any of it.

    Ashley's player injects her political and religious views into her character, and probably disdains the other players for not sharing them at times, but isn't a total mormon or anything.

    Jenkins was played by that guy who showed up one time, and then was never seen or heard from again, so the DM just killed off his character.

    Garrus' player probably just wanted to play a generic sniper before he started actually developing his backstory more and realized he actually liked the Disgruntled C-Sec Bro character concept.

    Liara is obviously [spoiler]played by a man.[/spoiler]
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:36 No.7915546
    Wrex doesn't have a clue what is going on but he heard there would be pizza.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:36 No.7915550
    [Spoiler]Can't use Spoiler Tags lol[/Spoiler]
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:37 No.7915553
    Well now I feel stupid.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:37 No.7915557
    Shepard is obviously a DMPC and a Mary Sue
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:37 No.7915558
    Teej is too cool for spoiler tags.

    Also, Grunt would be a total rollplayer.
    >> King Gheedorah !!4M9vEgUWwy+ 02/04/10(Thu)01:39 No.7915577
    Is it just me or has Tali's voice gotten HOTTER in ME2.

    Like, the second piece of dialogue, when she talks about doing research to make it work, and you tell her to hurry up, and she's like "ohhhh... yess... definitely..." SO fucking hot.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:39 No.7915579
    Grunt is "that guy".
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:40 No.7915585
    Tali likes Quarians because they're massively underrated. Unfortunately, she spent so much time obsessing over them that she didn't develop her own character much, and so just ends up being a Quarian encyclopedia.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:40 No.7915594
    Kaidan and Grunt are the only people that I really trust. They have issues, but Kaidan worked through them, unlike Subject Zero, who went all crazy chick; and Grunt is a bit more formal, he has issues, but he just wants to work through them to get through 'em.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:41 No.7915606
    Nah, not quite a DMPC, but he's best friends with the DM.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:42 No.7915616
    Mordin played by a drama nerd who is playing for the sheer fun of role-playing

    Legion is the silent one who you think is going to turn out to be a terrible player, but ends up being awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:43 No.7915619

    More like Kaidan is played by the guy who plays the same character in every campaign, regardless of setting. Makes sense seeing as Kaidan was really just Carth with BIOTICS
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:43 No.7915620
    The whole campagn is a gift for his birthday from the GM
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:43 No.7915622
    Subject Zero is that Chaotic Neutral douchebag player who just wants to kill all the NPCs.

    Miranda is played by a man.

    Jacob is a NPC.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:43 No.7915625
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    Exalted + WoD

    Powergamer, and has a list next to his character sheet labelled "one-liners"
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:43 No.7915628
    He got a reaver template applied to his penis. It has an indoctrination field, DM allowed it for the lulz.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:45 No.7915639
    Legion is THAT guy. He loves multiple personalities.

    If this were World of Darkness, he'd play a Malkavian.

    He's so in love with the concept, he came up with a precise number of separate Geth programs, and tallies up how many vote for certain actions, and how many don't.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:45 No.7915641
    Thane is played by an old, but sensible old school gentleman. Best player of the group.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:45 No.7915642
    Jacob is played by a lowly security guard who is looking for the highest level of escapism he possibly can get while still being able to throw around a certain amount of "lingo" to come off sounding professional.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:45 No.7915646
    That's ME1 Tali.
    ME2 Tali is the guy who was initially hated because he thought it would be a great idea to try and make an attractive shy virgin but ended up going with it because he actually pulled it off well

    Mordin is that guy who plays chaotic good because the DM won't let him be CN.

    Jack is the person who just started on RPGs and though that their super-special angsty powerful half-naked character would be a good concept.

    Thane is the guy who reads too much Russian literature.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:45 No.7915648
    Miranda is totaly played by a man

    Even my looks aew aupposed to give me an advantage
    ... it`s totaly not undermining my authority as an officer that I look like a hooker
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:46 No.7915651
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    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:46 No.7915653
    Wrex was actually an NPC that you were supposed to kill arrest or kill after the part with Fist but the PCs liked him and decided to bring him along.

    The DM tried to write him out on Virmire but the PCs weren't having any of that and made sure he survived. So now he is the leader of the Urdnot clan and the DM says you can't recruit him anymore.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:46 No.7915659
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:46 No.7915661
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    Morrigan constantly second guesses the DM, and is only there becuase the group is the only people willing to put up with her when she wants to leave her mothers house on Friday night.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:46 No.7915667
    Kaidan is pissed off at everything, and can't relate to other characters thanks to his loldeep character backstory.
    Ashley is the self-righteous lawful stupid paladin
    Jenkins doesn't know how to play and died the very first session, didn't come back.
    Garrus wanted to be Ashley at one point, then started thinking DANGEROUSLY and wanted to get shit done (the DM likes him, he actually moves the plot along)
    Liara is played by some faggot with a ponytail that is convinced that a psionic bard is not the height of faggotry
    Wrex is a football player that glorifies the warrior archetype and prefers to solve all problems with violence. This turns out awesome and sometimes tragic.
    Grunt is a guy that literally just rolled up about a year into the campaign and is hopelessly lost
    Tali is played by a hot foreign girl that should know better, doesn't, and her innocence is a huge boner-magnet despite her frightening natural ability at optimization.
    Mordin is played with a guy with ADHD and an iPhone that CANNOT STOP looking shit up / playing sound clips
    Thane is played by a guy on loan from the WoD group that split up a while back.
    Legion is a math nerd that took a few philosophy classes and thinks he's loldeep
    Jack is a bitch, end of story. Doesn't even matter if it's a dude, nobody can tell.
    Samara is Ashley's best friend and got brought in to replace the faggot when he left the group (got a job)
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:49 No.7915701
    Zaeed is a pretty cool guy except he's using a character from an evil campaign the GM ran in the same setting
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:49 No.7915702
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    Power-gaming little shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:49 No.7915703
    Stan is quite new to RPGs and does not realy get the concept of sidequests
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:50 No.7915709
    Zaeed is the guy who joined the game late and just pulled out his old character sheet of Canderous Ordo.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:51 No.7915724
    Mordinth comes in to play when the player of Samara decides he doesn't want to play a LG paladin anymore.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:52 No.7915734
    All we know about the new guy is that his character is gonna be named Kasumi, and that he's most likely a weeaboo.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:53 No.7915742
    You guys do realize that this just makes Shepard a DMPC, right? A particularly bad one, because they're in a hard sci-fi setting with soft sci-fi hallmarks, and he's THE SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:53 No.7915754
    The players of kaidan and ashley had some IRL drama going on between them and virmire was the DM`s twisted way to tell teh players that one of them ahd to go
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:54 No.7915762
    >Jack is the person who just started on RPGs and though that their super-special angsty powerful half-naked character would be a good concept.

    I saw Jack as that damaged chick who only plays because neckbeards pay her attention and want to touch her boobies.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:54 No.7915764
    Oghren is the type of character I play when I don't know much about the new system we're trying and I just want to stick with a simple concept.

    Big axe having dude who has a drinking problem. A good concept in any system.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:54 No.7915765

    also he/she likes to play as thief.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:55 No.7915777
    If ME was a tabletop PC or DMPC everybody else would totaly hate him
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:56 No.7915780
    hitting on everything moving
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:56 No.7915783
    Nihilus was originally a PC, but left the group assuming he would be moving away. Eventually it turned out he wasn't, but by the time he got back his character had already been killed off by Saren.

    So he rolled Garrus.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:57 No.7915786
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    Probably an undiagnosed schizophrenic or compulsive liar who can't always separate the game from reality becuase in the game she is special.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)01:57 No.7915794
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    This guy is the worst PC I've ever had. Total munchkin.

    Shows up for a standard 'Galaxy at War' campaign with the most retarded mary-sue backstory: he's Darth Vader's "secret apprentice." Not only is he torn between the light and dark sides of The Force, but he's also super good looking.

    I'm raging just thinking about it.

    pic related: it's his character portrait. Note the "serious face."
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:00 No.7915818
    Carth, Atton, Virgil, Kaiden, Jacob. All the same player.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:00 No.7915823
    More like :3 face
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:01 No.7915832

    And then there's that name
    What a total douchebag.

    On top of it all, he's a horrible power gamer. Practically broke the system with loopholes and such regarding Force powers
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:02 No.7915849
    Joker is played by a troll

    Hey guys, I rolled a pilot... and put all my points into Talented: Spaceflight ... but I had to take some disadvantedges

    Chills with them every session but never takes part in the missions

    And flys away in the climatic endfight leaving everyone at the collectors vbase
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:02 No.7915851
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    fucking powergamer

    I spent like a week working on this defensive line that had to be overcome and what does he do?



    Anyways I hope he likes it when I tell him that Jason AKA "I punch town guards because I'm chaotic neutral" is his ally.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:03 No.7915858
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:03 No.7915859

    He stole that name from the original script of star wars. Used to be Luke's name before they changed it to Skywalker.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:04 No.7915866
    Oh shit, I think I remember someone posting about this guy a while ago in a rage thread.

    That backstory was hilariously retarded. He fought and killed like five jedi masters in single combat, was it? Better, when he caught a Star Destroyer.

    Talk about a wank fest.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:04 No.7915868
    I've only yet played the first game so....

    Kaiden is the guy who played Carth in the last game, who no-one likes because he always writes up a sad back story.

    Jenkins was the guy who fucking flipped off the DM when he wouldn't approve his template, and died quickly as a result.

    Liara spent all her points on knowledge, luckally the race she chose came with magic powers so she doesn't sit in the ship.

    Garrus is Nihilus, who rerolled after he failed his sense motive check. Copy pasted stats, New name.

    Wrex is the ULTIMATE TROLL. He shows up and deliberately kills off a plot-hook ten minutes in. His back story is that when he discovered that his race had problems reproducing, he made himself hell-bent on everyone fucking as much as possible. And we fucking love him for it.

    Part two inbound.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:04 No.7915875
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    I loathe DMPCs.

    And this is why.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:04 No.7915877
    Her VA in general has gotten better.
    Although that might be because she actually has a personality now(and lines that need good acting) instead of a mobile encyclopedia on Quarian culture.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:05 No.7915880
    You know why they changed it?

    Because someone obviously had TASTE back then.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:07 No.7915906
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    Bossy mother hen who thinks she looks better than she does. Aggravatingly informs people how they could play better or that they are doing it wrong, worst thing is she is always right. Constantly tries to get the attention of the laconic big dude in the group, he ignores her attention perhaps becuase he is mildly autistic or maybe she is just too fat.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:08 No.7915914
    Jenkins was the new player, so young and full of hope for the system. The player is female, but decided to take a pre-made character that was male.

    During the first encounter, he gets one-shot by the enemy's first attack.

    While the rest of the party continues on, the player takes the time to reroll, making a paladin Soldier this time, hoping to kick more ass. The result is Ashley.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:08 No.7915915
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    Holy crap is this bitch breaking my game.

    Plays an M&M character with mega beams out the ass but never kills anyone. Instead she goes and makes friends with all of them AFTER she's blown them up with super beams. Stupid diplomancer bullshit I never expected to see in M&M.

    Now she's got the BBEG from the first campaign as her lesbian lover and the ENTIRE boss squad from the second campaign as her elite fighting force.

    I really don't know wtf I can throw at her now.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:09 No.7915924
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    This Jason?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:09 No.7915927
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    I'll admit that everyone taking the same firearms feats was a bit redundant, but it actually turned out into a pretty decent campaign.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:09 No.7915929
    does that mean they always had the vader is lukes father thing planned?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:10 No.7915937
    Well, I did once have a half-orc cleric of Kord who after taking too much of a hallucinogenic drug found a statue irresistibly attractive.

    Long story short they had to throw it out.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:13 No.7915962
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    Knows he's overpowered, but tries to balance it by playing a slightly dim-witted character who is too easily controlled by his female counterpart and acting as a sort of comic relief from time to time by making incredibly weak attacks that are just played for laughs (ball buster, poke of god, etc.).

    It doesn't help though, he's still OP as hell.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:13 No.7915964

    Ashley decided to make her character a Christian who felt loyal to humanity and actually RPed her character faithfully. She was unaware of the shit-storm she would cause.

    Tali is played by the girl who wants to hate RPGs but decided to give them a go so that she could say she tried. Turns out she's both amazingly good and loves them.

    Joker deliberately made his character good at only one thing, taking a massive crippling flaw just for more points to his ship handling. He knew that space game means at least one space fight, and no-one else had bothered with those stats.

    And Finally:

    Shepard was forced to become the main character when the GM's best friend (who started with a pimped out war-hero) decided he couldn't play for a few reasons. Shepard was quickly given leadership and an important mission to keep the game from falling apart. Luckily, he's the guy everyone like IRL so it works out.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:13 No.7915969
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    "So, you die, come back, and then want revenge against an apocalyptic evil god?"


    "Okay, what alignment I guess"

    "Neutral evil"

    "Alright, but you better stay in character.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:13 No.7915970
    Wait, is that Shepard a TYRONE Shepard?

    If so, I imagine that he told those exo-suited space honkies that they need to cut their jive shit and show those geth turkies who's boss.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:17 No.7916001
    Blood, fuck yeah.
    Shit was so cash.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:18 No.7916013
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:19 No.7916022
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    Urg, I just don't know what to do with her.

    She has every stupid power she needs to be a total badass, super strength, illusions, healing, ridiculously smart, plus all the standard ninja stuff and she STILL insists on being a useless cunt who does nothing but pine for her lost love.

    I even made that total joke character who was her "goofy unrequited admirer type" into a decent ninja and she'd still rather cry about lost emo boy toy then start up a new relationship.

    If she keeps this shit up I'm just going to kill her off.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:21 No.7916040
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    Fucker doesn't even TRY to roleplay. Everyone assumes he's the quiet type but his player doesn't shut the fuck up. He makes a good impression on Alyx's player, though. Too bad she metagames so that her character ends up liking his despite him not even saying two words to her.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:22 No.7916044
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:25 No.7916083
    Goddamn, Tyrone Shepard is one SMOOOTH motherfucker. Too bad Mark Meer has the whitest voice in history.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:26 No.7916088
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    Normally I like playing with this guy. Good roleplay and he really gets into character but every fucking time he uses that magic book I gave him to kill someone we get into an alignment debate.

    It's really slowing things down, I keep insisting that his character has got to be Lawful Evil by now, after that incident with all those cops but he keeps insisting he is Lawful Good. Such a pain in the ass.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:33 No.7916179
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    I don't know wtf I can throw at these guys next. I've tried everything, armies of religious fanatics, super advanced aliens, a black hole, god-like super beings from another plane of existence and they manage to wheedle their way out of EVERYTHING.

    I even caught that guy playing the leader in a time loop and he managed to find his way out of it and he never even failed a single SAN check the whole time.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:34 No.7916185
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    Typical rollplayer who just wanted to play a tactical combat-oriented game but got stuck in a whiny Mary-Sue wankfest.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:35 No.7916203
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    But he fucked ALL OF THEM over in the end...

    Every PC, BBEG, NPC, and innocent bystander there god damn it...
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:35 No.7916204
    Everyone really, really likes him though, because the man has a mastery of the system to such a degree that he can fight his way out of even impossible situations. And they'd be worried he's a min/maxed player, but he likes to use unusual weapons(his favorite being a crowbar) and always comes up with creative solutions to combat.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:36 No.7916212
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    Man I've been running games for this guy for more then 10 years now and his character hasn't said a word the whole time.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:38 No.7916240
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    This motherfucker... Always accusing me of railroading, so I let him just go nuts and do whatever he'd like. So of course he immediately dials the CHAOTIC up to 11 and becomes a puppy-kicking maniac. I swear, it's like he's actually trying to break the game world.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:39 No.7916248
    When players refuse to leave the basement and won't even come out for food because they want to keep playing, exterminatus is the only option.
    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:41 No.7916278
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    >> Mewt 02/04/10(Thu)02:42 No.7916286

    Why leave the basement for food? Pizza can be delivered, you know.
    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:43 No.7916297
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    I made an arbitrator for my Dark Heresy game. He's really awesome on his own, but this fucking Sororitas player beats the shit out of him every chance she gets.

    Fucking bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:43 No.7916300
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    I think he's just making fun of the rest of us with his character.

    And his character is impossible to kill off too. He keeps living through shit nobody should ever live through.
    >> Marche 02/04/10(Thu)02:43 No.7916304
    Fuck you god damn it.

    Just because your mother is dead doesn't mean you can just call the pizza place and request the woman that sort of looks like your dead mom to give you food.




    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:44 No.7916311
    As can Chinese food, and apparently Safeway still delivers stuff.
    >> littlegirl 02/04/10(Thu)02:44 No.7916313
    >>tallying up the votes
    i think thats actually kind of cool.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:44 No.7916318
    And Chinese.

    And nowadays, there's probably a bunch of other things you can get delivered. If you need to be classy for some reason, you might even be able to get a delivery of groceries.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:45 No.7916322
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    Guy who god fucked over so badly by another player, he dedicates his PC's existence to DESTROYING him.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:45 No.7916323
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    It seemed like a solid character idea when she described it. I swear if I had known she was going to talk like that before hand...
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:45 No.7916328
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    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:45 No.7916330
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    I won't stop you from creating a Dex-based fighter.
    I won't stop you from playing her as a 15 year old girl from her village.
    I won't stop you from challenging the minmaxed barbarian/frenzied berserker to one on one combat.

    Fucking godspeed, dude.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:46 No.7916334
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    Jayne is the loudmouth of the group. He always plays rowdy, rough and tough characters. In D&D he'd be an Orc, in Shadowrun he'd be a Troll. He's surprisingly good at role-playing Chaotic Neutral as well, especially managing to aid the party in such a way that helps them, rather than hindering them.

    Kaylee is the new girl. She's unfamiliar with the system, and makes frequent use of the random Tech Lingo chart, but makes do. She's a girly-girl at heart, though, and given the chance dresses up and gossips about fashion.

    Wash is the host of the group. They all play in his house each week, but he's laid back. He supplies all the snacks and drinks the group needs, but doesn't get involved a whole lot, especially with combat sequences. When he does get involved, however, he shines.

    Zoe is Wash's wife, co-host to the group. They involved their characters just for simplicity. She's almost the polar opposite of her husband, loves getting involved in the combat bits, but usually fades out otherwise, except to thrown in a few good lines.

    Reynolds is the guy who got the group together and suggested the system, becoming the defacto leader, and Captain, among the party.

    Simon's a bit of a nerd, and only joined the group because he has a crush on the equally nerdy girl playing Kaylee. He finds the game awkward, especially when it revolves around him.

    River is THAT guy. The one who always plays kick-ass petite girls. A bit of a min-maxer, he had to take a lot of flaws in order to get the results he wanted. Had to rope Simon's player into establishing a history between their characters so as not to sabotage his entry into the party by himself.

    Shepherd Book (not pictured) is the GM's DMPC. He tries to guide the group along the right path, but does not railroad. He'll come to the party's rescue if need be, but won't take the spotlight.
    >> Twem 02/04/10(Thu)02:46 No.7916339

    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:47 No.7916348

    At some point the artist should have noticed she was pretty much pressing her chest against his dick.
    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:47 No.7916352
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    Forgive me...

    ...I loved your soul.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:47 No.7916353
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    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:48 No.7916356
    I don't think he cared.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:49 No.7916366
         File1265269754.jpg-(134 KB, 443x603, 01_Griffith[1].jpg)
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    So, I have no idea what happened...

    I rolled an DMPC to sort of guide my players through the campaign, and from what I took as a brilliant twist, turned him into the BBEG.

    Then the guy (who never talked much, rolled a fantastic character who always rolls great, and somehow survives EVERYTHING I throw at him) just goes berserk, he decides that every fiber of his being is to destroy this fucking BBEG if it's the last thing he does.

    And god damn if he hasn't wrecked every obstacle in his way.
    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:49 No.7916371
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    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:51 No.7916396
         File1265269913.jpg-(129 KB, 800x1041, 1242705956401.jpg)
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    This is that guy who always plays fucking rogues. Always.

    Difference being, this guy plays them right.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:52 No.7916403
    >>just goes berserk

    >> The Lone Guardsman !j1vYueMMw6 02/04/10(Thu)02:54 No.7916422
         File1265270058.jpg-(267 KB, 640x575, 1236231898964.jpg)
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    GOOD SHOW!!!

    Let's see if those heretics and xeno can stand in the way of Inquisitor Hatsworth?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:55 No.7916437
         File1265270107.jpg-(483 KB, 1000x1072, 2967eeae242282d83a544fb282ad36(...).jpg)
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    We all noticed. But it's hot as hell.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:58 No.7916477
    Maxed ranks in Electronics, Systems Maintenance, Mineralogy, Tool Use, no combat skills, damnit these things are gonna tear me apart!

    ... huh, Tool Use...
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:59 No.7916485
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    Dammit forgot my pic.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)02:59 No.7916487
    oh god i lol'd, i lol'd so fucking hard, i lol'd so fucking hard i cried.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:00 No.7916500
    Has this been archived yet? Because it fucking should have been.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:01 No.7916515
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    Fuck you DM, you suck

    You have us fight a totally hopeless battle against the EVIL EMPIRE(how original) and kill the entire party except for your Mary Sue DMPC

    I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be the goddess all along.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:05 No.7916548
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    Best three person DnD campaign i ever played.
    Yeah, think about it, you KNOW these bastards where player characters.
    Julius fucking Caesar himself pretty much says not to mess with them cause they're the PC's...
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:05 No.7916551
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    This guy. Just...this guy.

    Always, always plays charismatic bastards--even in horror games. Probably because he *is* a charismatic bastard. He could be the DM--he's better at it than I am. It's ust...too much like work.

    In our last GURPS campaign, he played a waetherman: somehow he *stil*l ended up almost destroying the universe.

    Yeah, I mad.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:07 No.7916572
    what is that from
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:08 No.7916586
    Best fucking show on HBO that they didn't do justice to.

    It's called Rome.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:09 No.7916591


    rs it for the boobs, they're better than the story
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:18 No.7916705
    She does have a rather nice set of tits.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:21 No.7916743
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:27 No.7916835

    oh how i loled...
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:28 No.7916850
    all the links seem to be dead
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:30 No.7916865
         File1265272207.jpg-(35 KB, 481x394, chidorihairdye.jpg)
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    >best show on HBO
    >not True Blood
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:31 No.7916886
    fuck you, deadwood is the best show to ever be on HBO
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:31 No.7916891
    Calling instatroll on this shit
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:38 No.7916985
         File1265272726.jpg-(20 KB, 244x279, amusedlittlerichie.jpg)
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    >best show on HBO
    >not Curb Your Enthusiasm
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:39 No.7916992

    this is the winner of the thread
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:39 No.7916995
    sage for jew humor
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:40 No.7917008
         File1265272826.jpg-(392 KB, 485x734, Lara_Croft_by_Ebas_by_Kamilian.jpg)
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    The player that makes a background, sets up motivations, puts stats in charm and survival and all that.

    Then ends up shooting every NPC that doesn't agree with him.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:44 No.7917054


    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:45 No.7917066
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:47 No.7917104
    Whenever she's being funny or teasing, or makes a small joke, that coy twist to her accent just makes me UNF.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)03:57 No.7917228
    and thats why shes my favourite character
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:00 No.7917269
    She definatly has one of the best voice actors of the bunch. Probably the only character to display a wide range of emotions.
    It feels awkward romancing her as Male sheps VA cant turn off the Serious and badass voice for 2 fucking seconds.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:04 No.7917305
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    Veteran of the group, has been playing the same character for many adventures and several campaigns. Crafty player, always escapes and bypasses DM's plans. As a result, tends to get pretty powerful, grabbing items and killing bosses the DM never intends to be beaten. Even when the DM finds some BS reason for all their items to work, is smart enough to figure a way to get them back or win the day.

    Most new players to the group assume character is male, player doesn't go out of his way to prove them wrong until the adventure arc is done.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:07 No.7917344
    Seriously, this. Ian McShane as Al Swearengen was fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:20 No.7917460
    I think ME2 explains Garrus perfectly via Joker

    He's the former agent who got that stick out of his ass - now he's beating everything to death with it... and enjoys it a little too much
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:20 No.7917462
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    Rusty: Forgot the evil campaign is over and that he was supposed to be playing a good scientist

    Orpheus: Amateur Thespian, practicing for his big break

    Brock: Just wants to stab bad guys and fuck wenches

    H.E.L.P.eR. : thought he could do the same thing as the guy in Darths and Droids, didn't work out exactly as planned
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:28 No.7917537
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    Is what happens when you give the BBEG role to a player that has some IRL beef with another player.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:32 No.7917561

    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)04:35 No.7917593
    Brofist, man. I must emphasize the way she says 'definitely'- by God, that had me loosening my collar.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:06 No.7917828
    I love this fucking thread.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:13 No.7917878
         File1265278427.jpg-(30 KB, 720x540, bloodrayne.jpg)
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    I let you play your fetish but STOP TOSSING MINIONS INTO MY PUZZLES
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:16 No.7917902
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    Likes to play ambiguously gendered druids who are usually emotionless.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:22 No.7917950
    this is why i love /tg/
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:31 No.7918031
    If someone would please screencap this thread for me, I would be eternally grateful.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:31 No.7918033
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    Powerful character, unfortunately, the player was a douchebag in and out of the game, so the DM and the players conspired to fuck his character over by having him get caught during his sleep and publicly execute him.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:36 No.7918065
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    Roll for sanity loss, bitch. Or maybe start praying, not that it'll do you any goo---WHAT THE FUCK, DID YOU JUST PRAY THE FUCK OUT OF CTHULU?!
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:39 No.7918093
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    I would kick him out for playing a furry..eh..feather, if it wasn't because he play the must hilarious power armoured vigilant who likes to poke fun at himself and big these goofy lap-stick enducing flaws....in every single system ever.

    Pic. related, that's him in a BESM compaign.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:40 No.7918098
         File1265280030.jpg-(397 KB, 619x826, 1239757677587.jpg)
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    and this is when we tried Dark heresy.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:43 No.7918126
         File1265280220.png-(384 KB, 502x625, 1206111379383.png)
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    Fucking DM, trying to rail road us with his guards that seem to know everything we do, and are always several levels above us.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)05:44 No.7918136
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:10 No.7918393
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    This GM is a bitch. We start without any guns and the game being mostly social crap interspersed with people trying to mug our ass and us having to fend them off with a scalpel, and when we finally do get a gun, we're too worried about the fact we didn't start with rations so we sell the fucking thing to get food. Ontop of all that, the guy runs the most depressing game I've ever played and he keeps killing plothooks when we fuck up, expecting us to figure out what to do from there. The theatrical touches are cool however.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:15 No.7918425

    Just archive it, dude.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:16 No.7918434
    I DAAAAWWWWed at OP's picture with full force. Started ME2 yesterday, can't wait to get there
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:19 No.7918450

    The entire Tali romance is really sweet at parts. And, while not directly connected to her romance, her loyalty quest is horribly sad in parts.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:21 No.7918462
    King among games.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:22 No.7918468
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    Mother of god, this thread is supertits
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:27 No.7918493
    Yeah, pity the GM only speaks broken English, makes some spots a bit wonky where he's trying to express concepts that he can only express well in Russian.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:29 No.7918502
    >her loyalty quest is horribly sad in parts

    Oh god don't remind me. First the recorded "Be brave for Daddy! Mommy loves you very mu - " message, then Rael'Zora.

    Bioware, you hurt me in all the right ways.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:32 No.7918520
         File1265283138.jpg-(35 KB, 450x409, Gybrush.jpg)
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    God damnit WHY did I let you use your taunt skill for attack rolls.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:38 No.7918558
         File1265283509.png-(73 KB, 154x198, rincewind.png)
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    So, guys, funny story.

    There's this one guy who plays occasionally in this world I constantly DM for. I don't like the player because he's going out with my Ex, and he's pretty new to tabletop so his character is REALLY shit (one level of wizard, one of rogue, absolute crap build, can't even cast spells!). So I just decide to put him in shit situations all the time.

    He's survived like, a dozen games of this. I don't know how he does it. Just gets lucky, I suppose.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:43 No.7918585
         File1265283788.jpg-(17 KB, 353x450, conan.jpg)
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    He doesn't speak English, so every time he's rolling he just assume he's attacking the guy in front of him. He seems happy when we remove the models from the tabletop, though.

    Once he punched a horse. Never seen him so happy.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:44 No.7918594
    I think I know that guy, didnt he roll 7 on a 6 sided dice once?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:47 No.7918605
    Oh god damn it... I'm tearing up...
    What happens if you take Legion on that Quest?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:49 No.7918618
    Anyone saved that "full list of exactly what carries over to mass effect 2" that was posted here like yesterday?

    Running ME1 to create a new savegame and it would be useful.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:51 No.7918640

    No idea, as I did Tali's quest as soon as it came available and didn't get Legion until the very end. I've seen a screencap of her trial, though - Tali and Shepard are where they normally are, but Legion is sitting huddled up alone right at the back of the room.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:52 No.7918644
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    So, wait, you're telling me we get to have an army of NPCs assist us in taking out this single BBEG? And we still get full experience for it? Hell yeah, we're in!

    What the hell happened to all the NPCs---he killed most of them? Well, I suppose it's only reasonable, having us actually kick his ass. Just hope they didn't soften him up too much.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:52 No.7918647
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    I bet he laughs inside like a motherfucker when he sees what Tali's dad brought upon himself.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:53 No.7918655
    that's because he whom wins at life, wins also at the game table.
    He fucks your ex and you, raging but too much pathetic to ignore the fact or to have a serious revenge, try to damage him through the game.
    Sadly, he is still superior
    [spoiler]and I'm afraid he will be forever[/spoiler]
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:57 No.7918674
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    He....he completely wiped us out. And I think he's still raping my corpse. Fuck you, DM. Fuck you.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:57 No.7918678
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    He can't keep on getting away forever.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:58 No.7918686
    It's the same with Grunt.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)06:58 No.7918687

    Man, you know that even if he manages to make it through this one, he's going to fuck it the very next game.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:00 No.7918698

    Hrmm. Odd. I brought Mordin along and he was hanging out with Tali and Shep in the middle.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:01 No.7918708

    He can always counts on the Gods forgetting him. Eventually.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:01 No.7918709
         File1265284897.jpg-(28 KB, 448x475, sam-max.jpg)
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    It was supposed to be a hard boiled gritty, dark crime setting.

    Then these two cunts screwed it up with their wacky antics.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:09 No.7918750
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    Originally, his character was an alright swordsman, but he pretty much outright sucked compared to the party leader, who just so happens to be a half dragon (which I shall not go into at this moment). However, several levels later, he gained the prestige class of Holy Swordsman. Or did he just take a level in paladin? I forget. Either way, his character is awesome now, though ridiculous. The player jokingly asked to roll to see if he cut the land along with the monsters. The DM, going along with the joke, rolled. You know what happened next? His character ACTUALLY CLEAVED THE ENTIRE LAND ALONG WITH THE MONSTERS WE WERE FIGHTING. I could not make this shit up if I tried.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:09 No.7918751
         File1265285375.gif-(1.18 MB, 240x180, UtterMentalDefeat.gif)
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    > First the recorded "Be brave for Daddy! Mommy loves you very mu - " message, then Rael'Zora.

    Picture related, my face when i listened to that.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:14 No.7918777

    I'm not afraid to say I nearly teared up when Tali found her Dad's body. That was harsh.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:14 No.7918779
    The clip >>7918751 in question, in case any of you badasses were too pro to notice the console. Skip to 1:40.

    Voice actress earned her paycheck.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:18 No.7918797

    It's been said before, but I'll restate it here. Anyone who didn't take the Paragon interrupt here to give her a hug is a dick. A huge, unforgivable, dick.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:20 No.7918805
    Not if they were too busy crying (even if it was just on the inside) to notice the interupt.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:24 No.7918823
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    Player games solo with a DM, either as a result of lack of a game group, or people weren't able to show up for a couple sessions. Decides to do a side quest to try to bring back an NPC love interest the DM decides is better off dead. Throws crazy giant stone monsters but somehow pc is able to kill them all with his horse, sword and bow.

    Player later tries to relate the crazy combats, but simply cannot do them justice with words. "Dude, I shot it in the foot them climbed on its back and stabbed it in the head, it was awesome! I guess you had to be there..."
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:24 No.7918828

    Oh god, now I KNOW I can't buy that game. I'll weep like a little bitc-I mean LIKE THE MANLIEST FUCKING MAN ON THE BLOCK, FAGGOTS!
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:27 No.7918838

    I almost missed it. Too busy thinking OH GOD WHAT BIOWARE HOW COULD YOU.

    On that note, did anyone else note how many of the Loyalty quests were to do with the characters' screwed up families?

    Jacob's Dad goes nuts and sets himself up with a harem of braindamaged women.
    Tali's Dad gets so obsessed with finding a way to hack the Geth, he accidently unleashes them on the Flotilla.
    The Drell, who's name I forget, has his Son flip out and try to become an assassin like his father.
    Miranda's Dad treated her as an asset to be used to further his own goals.
    etc, etc.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:28 No.7918847
    Yes, and it fucking worked.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:31 No.7918859

    Oh, I'm not doubting that it worked spectacularly. Just interesting to note. I've not started Legion's Loyalty Quest yet, so for all I know it might involve more Geth, which might be thought of as family due to their collective.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:39 No.7918892

    Sort of. Geth don't have a concept of "family", they just see other Geth as more pieces of themselves. It's kinda weird, but Legion is an awesome character.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:41 No.7918897

    I'm just hoping getting him won't muck up my Romance swith Tali.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:42 No.7918902
    can you fuck Legion?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:43 No.7918914

    I doubt Legion would understand the concept, let alone possess the ability.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:43 No.7918915
    Legion has Daddy Issues.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:44 No.7918920
    So he'd be a giant confused vibrator?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:47 No.7918937

    Other than his flashlight head, I'm not sure he'd have anything to fuck with.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:47 No.7918938

    It might, unless you have high enough Paragon/Renegade to convince them to get along.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:48 No.7918955

    Oh, good. I've maxed out the Paragon bar, so that'll be no problem. Because as cool as my own personal Geth is, Legion ain't worth losing Tali over.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:49 No.7918958
    He has hands and feat doesn't he?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:50 No.7918969
    indeed he has

    i'd prefer to think legion as an alchemical from Exalted. just swap for new bits - like adding a fuckhuge vibrator! good time

    but seriously, femshep + garrus = win
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:52 No.7918977

    Yeah, you're fine. Same thing with Miranda and Jack; you can tell them to get along and not lose the loyalty of either. Even if you manage it, you can get their loyalty back once you hit 100% Paragon/Renegade. So you're covered either way.
    >> General Malcolm Granger !tdu/XtyVrs 02/04/10(Thu)07:52 No.7918981
    >can you fuck Legion?

    in mass effect 3, you can tell how he blush when you ask "why my armor?"

    it also has a hole
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:52 No.7918984
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:54 No.7918990

    thats what they invented LUBE for!

    *shlick shlick shlick*
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:54 No.7918994
    Tali actually makes nice with them and lets them have some non-classified data to share with the rest of the true geth.

    Shepard doesn't even prompt her to do it, she just does it because she's so damn nice.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:55 No.7918997
    Tali, Garrus, Mordin, and Legion all need to remain part of your team - assuming they survive - for ME3. Tali and Garrus are the most important, but Legion and Mordin are too awesome to leave behind.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:55 No.7919001
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:57 No.7919009
    But he can't give you oral with that mouth... besides.
    "I had reach, she had flexibility."
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:57 No.7919010


    hehe, i just like how garrus turned out in ME2 - in ME1 he's always whining about how C-sec used to be... now, he's just kicking ass
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:58 No.7919011

    Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Raise your hand if you were actually rather gobsmacked by Mordin's sex advice.

    How the hell this man knows the eroginous zone overlays for Humans and Quarians, as well as can provide some sort of Space-Karma-Suitra for comfortable positions is beyond me. Especially since he comes across as pretty asexual.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:58 No.7919013
    >i had reach, she had flexibility

    i came
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:59 No.7919019
    It's his job to know these things, and he takes his job very seriously. He does not carry around thousands of hours of recorded xenos porn and wank furiously whenever he's offscreen.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:59 No.7919020
    Because he is a BIOLOGIST!
    He's had to study this stuff you know. Why just a few years back he was always doing... "field research."
    >> General Malcolm Granger !tdu/XtyVrs 02/04/10(Thu)07:59 No.7919021
    is part of his job as doctor
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)07:59 No.7919022
    The character development in general is vastly superior to ME1. Even the boring squadmates like Jacob are more interesting than Kaidan and Ashley.

    Garrus and Tali in particular stand out spectacularly. Tali matures in more ways than one, and Garrus goes through hell and shows his damage in everything he does. Even keeping his broken armor is a way to show that he wants to do penance for letting his crew get taken out.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:00 No.7919023
    He's just fucking with you man.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:00 No.7919024

    >Mordin's sex advice

    I...what? I completely missed that. I was amused at the fact that someone managed to get an STD from a Varren, though.
    >> General Malcolm Granger !tdu/XtyVrs 02/04/10(Thu)08:01 No.7919028
    i suggest to not ingest
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:01 No.7919030
    He's a doctor. He doesn't look at this shit because he enjoys it. He doesn't jerk off to charts of batarian cardiovascular systems either, but he makes it his fucking job to know it.

    He's pretty damn old for a salarian and he's a hyper motherfucker by THEIR standards. He's also a goddamn genius. He makes it his business to know everything. Getting six doctorates is his idea of a hobby.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:01 No.7919031

    Couldn't find the one for Tali.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:02 No.7919033
    SHOCKING suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality sacred trust.

    Would never dream of mockery.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:02 No.7919035
    Implications unpleasant.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:02 No.7919037
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:03 No.7919041

    If you romance either Tali or Garrus, then after they agree to 'do some research' into how it'll work, go talk to Mordin. He gives you some advice of his own.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:03 No.7919042

    Oh hey, one for Thane too.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:04 No.7919048
    Too bad Mordin's the equivalent of a Salarian grandfather; the average Salarian lives to 40.

    Mordin's 50. He's a badass grandpa who has a favourite nephew.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:05 No.7919051
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:06 No.7919058

    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:07 No.7919063

    It's quite funny how he seems entirely casual about it. One can only imagine his reaction when faced with your partner; Tali in particular. Mordin dealing with an awkward, shy Quarian asking about inter-species relationships would have been a lulzy as hell cutscene.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:08 No.7919067
    Apparently his voice actor performed the original song too. And the Bioware writer couldn't help but sing that song for weeks, with much tolerance from his wife (also a BW employee).
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:10 No.7919077

    That's weird. I didn't get the safe sex talk. I got him to go on about how it was "shocking" that I'd implied he was mocking me...but that's because he started talking to me about all the talking we were doing. He implied that I had the hots for him.

    The gay hots.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:11 No.7919083
    Hey, the man had more degrees then god. I'd go to him for ANY problem.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:12 No.7919088
    Oh god, Hallucinogenic saliva?

    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:13 No.7919094
    Mordin... DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME!
    ... What?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:14 No.7919099
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    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:14 No.7919104
    He did state he wanted to spend his "last decade" doing good things with those who deserve it, by opening a clinic.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:14 No.7919108

    Hmm. Did you do it right after triggering the romance? Or did you wait a bit? I did a couple of missions after setting myself up with Tali, then spoke to Mordin, and found out that she had been ordering large quantities of antibiotics...
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:15 No.7919111
    I saw we make him Immortal.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:16 No.7919119
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:17 No.7919132
    if you talk to him a little later you get this. You have to have your romantic interest "in the bag" so to speak.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:17 No.7919134

    Well, Cerberus does. I vote we go kick the Illusive Man in the balls until he agrees to extend Mordin's lifespan.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:17 No.7919136

    It was before I started romancing Tali, actually. It was amusing, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:17 No.7919138
    Put him in a Gethsuit!
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:17 No.7919139
    Foolish woman. Garrus is not a fish.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:18 No.7919144
    Cerberus, a humans first extremist organization, helping aliens?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:19 No.7919152

    No, but Thane is. I think Garrus is the "lizard".
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:21 No.7919158
    >and has a list next to his character sheet labelled "one-liners"

    I really should get one of those
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:21 No.7919160
    On the topic of Legion's N7 armour:

    Shepard: So, I know how and where you got my armour from, but why exactly are you wearing it?
    Legion: ... There was a hole.
    Shepard: Yes, you explained that earlier, and you could've repaired it earlier, with better materials. Why not?
    Legion: ... No data available.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:21 No.7919161
    You kick enough people in the balls, you'll get results.
    Besides, you could always blackmail them.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:22 No.7919164
    Does he EVER tell you why?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:22 No.7919165

    I'm hoping my Paragon Shepard can kill the Illusive Man, take over Cerberus, and turn it into a moderate, legal organisation that works towards improving relations with non-human races.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:22 No.7919166
    Funny how the fishmen known as the Drell come from a desert planet.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:22 No.7919168
    Thane's a lizard. Garrus is a dino.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:22 No.7919172
    Thane is the lizard. Why would a fish want an arid room?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:23 No.7919175
    And they get a type of fatal lung cancer from living on the Hanar world!
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:23 No.7919176
    No, but you can deeply upset the Illusive Man and actually hear desperation in his voice when you fuck with him after doing the Paragon ending.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:23 No.7919180
    He was WRONG!
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:24 No.7919182
    Garrus is a sexy, anthromorphic chitinous birdcat.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:24 No.7919183

    Mordin is best. Also warns of...chafing.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:24 No.7919186
    Actually Thane is dying because he's breathed too much humid air in his lifetime.

    >Because the drell ancestors emerged from arid, rocky deserts, the humid, ocean-covered hanar homeworld of Kahje proved tolerable only when the drell stayed inside a climate-controlled dome city. The leading cause of death for drell on Kahje is Kepral's Syndrome, caused by cummulative long-term exposure to a humid climate. This syndrome erodes the ability of drell lungs to take in oxygen, and eventually spreads out to other organs. It is noncommunicable, and there is currently no known cure, though leading hanar scientific authorities are working on creating a genetic adaptation.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:24 No.7919189
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    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:25 No.7919197
    I was kinda pissed that you can't bring up how every single time they've tried fucking with Reaper tech in the past it has always ended horrendously badly.

    For fuck's sake, the Reaper IFF mission should be evidence enough that blowing up the collector base is a very good idea.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:27 No.7919203
    From Mass Effect Wiki on Turian biology.
    Turians exhibit the characteristics of predators rather than those of prey species (compare to krogan biology). Their forward-facing alert eyes give the impression that they possess outstanding eyesight and their teeth and jaws mimic the structures possessed by apex predators such as crocodiles or ancient, carnivorous dinosaurs. Needless to say, their talons on both their feet and hands seem capable of ripping flesh. Their slender bodies also seem to suggest that they are also capable of moving at high speeds.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:28 No.7919208
    Okay. Sexy, anthromorphic chitinous dinosaurs.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:28 No.7919210
    This time will be different! It's Collector technology, not just Reaper!
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:29 No.7919222

    Oh, I'm looking forward to trolling that bastard hard.

    "Thanks for bringing me back to life and all, but I'm going to fuck over your crazy humanocentric plans now."
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:30 No.7919229
    Grunt actually suggested that I take along the technology. My response was essentially "shut up, grunt".

    My Shepard was mostly paragon, except with Krogan. He knows the only way to deal with them is brute strength. Yes, he headbutted Gatatok, yes, he did every renegade option that there was unless it was something that could lower himself in Wrex's eyes.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:30 No.7919234

    Except they were sending you to a derelict Reaper to get it.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:32 No.7919244
    My Shepard was a PARAGON OF JUSTICE!
    Now I'm playing Renegade FemShep.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:32 No.7919245
    Even beating up that scared teenager in Thane's mission?

    I did the renegade actions, all except beating up "mouse" and punching those scared salarian workers with the gun.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:32 No.7919246
    "What's this? You want a pureblood Krogan? Whoops, I think I pressed the release button!"
    "Oh, you want Geth technology? Just let me talk to it first... Oh no! It appears I cannot deactivate it to send to you! Whatever shall we do?"
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:33 No.7919256
    Bullets can deactivate it.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:33 No.7919260

    This is why Renegade Shepard is shitty. He just comes across as a two-bit thug on a power trip. I tried playing a Renegade game but lost interest after a couple of hours. I just didn't like being an asshole to people.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:35 No.7919270
    You mean the scared teenager when you're moving about above the Turian target? Also, I am sad that I had to beat up Mouse. It just seemed the easiest way to deal with him.

    I am also sad I have to beat about the guy when I tracing the Turian, but really, it was the only option.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:35 No.7919272
    All Cerberus wacky evil science plans always, always backfire horribly. I made sure the "Lazarus project: Revive Shepard" also backfired horribly.
    >> Dogstar !!MgA31eRve7T 02/04/10(Thu)08:35 No.7919275
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:40 No.7919313

    I hope you remembered to send the incriminating data you find in one side mission to the Citadel. Hopefully come ME3, Cerberus will have fallen apart thanks to Shepard's antics.

    Then we just hope the Illusive Man didn't order a bomb built into your body as a failsafe.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:41 No.7919330

    Seeing how he waxed Miranda's ass and left her as your sloppy seconds I think he can let go of not hooking up with Femshep.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:42 No.7919331
    There's also the fact that Paragon Shepard can get shit done just as effectively as Renegade Shep.

    I mean, you'd think there'd be some negative consequences to trying to be nice all the time. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work, and it can get people killed.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:44 No.7919348
    See? He's just a dick. My ParaShep does renegade actions sometimes, but only when they're extremely awesome or justified. Shooting at the fuel tank during Mordin's mission was awesome. Beating the crap out of the two-bit thug who set up the hit on the racist turian was justified. Calling the Admiralty Board a bunch of heartless motherfuckers was extremely justified. They made my Tali cry >:|
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:44 No.7919349

    Part of me thinks that the game is supposed to be played Paragon, for that reason. You get better results most of the time, and (I at least) feel Shepard is a more interesting character that way. Or at least as interesting as he can be with that godawful voice actor.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:47 No.7919375

    I dunno if you saw the Paragon dialogue option for that after you return to finish the trial, but it's pretty awesome. Shepard chews the Quarians out for doubting someone who's done so much good shit for the Flotilla and the galaxy at large, and afterwards Tali admits that she "likes watching you shout".
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:47 No.7919380
    Mark Meers now has three tones of voice instead of two.

    Angry and threatening
    AND calm and comforting.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:49 No.7919386
    So is ME2 good in any sense of the word?
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:50 No.7919401
    He still has trouble using them at the appropriate times, though.

    Can you imagine him trying to calm a crying child?

    "Hey, it's okay. I got your toy back."
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:51 No.7919405
    It's like Assassin's Creed 2 in that it takes all the shit everyone hated in the first game and throws it right the fuck out the window.

    It's an awesome, awesome game. I fucking love it.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:51 No.7919410
    Play a FemShep then.

    Miss out on tali love though.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:51 No.7919413
    Gameplay: Much more action, much less RPG. The fighting parts are fun, the levelling parts and character-tinkering parts are not. Mixed bag.
    Storyline: Pretty mediocore to be honest. No equivilant of Saren and very basic, easy-to-realize plot.
    Characters: I haven't seen characters this awesome in forever.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:52 No.7919421
    I dunno, man. Did it well on Tali.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:52 No.7919425
    I'm a paragon and I can't encourage an embattled race to go to war with a synthetic species that doesn't even want to fight and in fact preserves their old homes religiously.

    Still killed the heretic geth, because brainwashing just isn't cool.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)08:56 No.7919462
    Tali Lovin' is the ONLY reason I started a new Mshep file.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)09:01 No.7919500
    Femshep gets delicious Garrus cock.

    (Do not ingest.)
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)09:07 No.7919536

    Yes. Absolutely. It has flaws, like all games, but I've never found myself this enchanted before. The combat is fun, the talking is fun, the mineral gathering is dull, the equipment/skills have been simplified right down but the gameplay feels the same as the first. Get it, you won't regret it.

    Also, the characters. Holy fuck, the characters. They are fantastic.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)09:22 No.7919619
    It feels like in the few years Bioware has looked at storyline, gamplay and characters and has fucked the first right up the ass, fondled the second a little and, very recently, gave the third steroids
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)10:34 No.7920127

    My current Shepard is basically both Paragon and Renegade at the same time: I had max in both attributes in ME1, so when I imported to ME2 I had more than enough P&R points to choose whichever options I want.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)12:15 No.7920790
    >Ashley's player injects her political and religious views into her character, and probably disdains the other players for not sharing them at times, but isn't a total mormon or anything.

    >Hey, I'm actually kinda religious. If that bothers you, I won't go on about it.
    >> Anonymous 02/04/10(Thu)12:55 No.7921152
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    This fucker is the white knight of the campaign, but he FORCES himself to try to turn people. When that fails, he usually just puts them to the bullet or turns them over to the proper authorities.

    I think the player was molested because he especially hates child molesters.

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