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  • File : 1265165786.jpg-(43 KB, 300x424, Humans_are_Among_Us.jpg)
    43 KB Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)21:56 No.7896144  
    Humanity fuck yeah thread?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)21:57 No.7896158
    Of course humanity fuck yeah, it's got the nicest tits!
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)21:57 No.7896164
         File1265165873.jpg-(105 KB, 1273x531, Colonel Starwars.jpg)
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    >> Exalted !OOirDpvrkA 02/02/10(Tue)21:58 No.7896183
         File1265165933.jpg-(49 KB, 750x600, BATMAN.jpg)
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    Batman doesn't put up with HFY shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:00 No.7896205
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    Quaritch's body lies a-moldering in his grave,
    The Navi in the forest run free,
    But soon the gods shall take what they gave,
    Tomorrow belongs to me!

    The sun on Pandora is summery warm,
    The stone that we seek is held by the Navi,
    But somewhere a whisper, Arise, Arise!
    Tomorrow belongs to me!

    Oh Terra, our Mother-world, show us the sign,
    Your children have waited to see!
    The morning shall come when the cosmos are *Mine*,
    Tomorrow belongs to me!
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:03 No.7896245
    I must once again express that Avatar II will only be good if it turns out that Earth is also alive, and made humans as a weapon with which to fuck with other planets.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:07 No.7896298
    That would explain why the planet freaked out, actually. It wasn't that they were going to kill one irrelevant tree, it was that they had the taste of brimstone on them, as it were.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:11 No.7896344
    Old Quaritch's body lies modering in the grave,
    While weep the sons of poverty whom he ventured all to save;
    But tho he lost his life while struggling for the brave,
    His soul his marching on.

    Quaritch was a hero, undaunted true and brave,
    And Terra knows his valor when he fought her rights to save;
    Now tho the grass grows blue and glows above his grave,
    His soul is marching on!

    He dared into the jungle with his brave marines so few,
    He went without his mask because his lungs he knew were true,
    They shot him twice the bastards, that Navi and traitor duo,
    But his soul is marching on!
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:15 No.7896417
    Quaritch was John the Baptist of the Christ we are to see,
    Christ who of the bondsmen of Terra shall the Liberator be,
    And soon throughout Pandora shall teem the will of humanity,
    For his dream is marhcing on!

    The conflict that he heralded he looks from heaven to view,
    On the army of great mankind with its righteous fury true,
    And heaven shall ring with anthems o'er the deed they mean to do,
    For his wrath is marching on!

    Ye soldiers of Terra, then strike while strike ye may,
    The death blow of the Navi is a better time and way,
    For the dawn of old Quaritch has now brightened into day,
    His soul is marching on!
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:17 No.7896437
    Properly sung to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the republic, and with one's boots upon a blue throat.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:19 No.7896463
    You know what? Yes. Let the Christians deal with the blue fucks, nobody knows how to get fucking pissed off and be vengeful like them. I'd put my VERY atheistic tax dollars to work building giant crucifix-shaped warships for them if that's what it takes.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:19 No.7896480
    This would be awesome. We'd have practically Divine Mandate to travel the stars and kill shit.

    Of course, those goddamn hippies would be all up about the earth mother.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:21 No.7896495
    And then the Earth would hit Berkley and Santa Cruz with tsunamis, because it's done playing softball.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:23 No.7896519
    They'd have to be Orthidox cross (the one with the circle behind it) shaped for maximum awesome, with giant figureheads shaped like Jesus with the cockpit in the head.
    ...Holy shit, necromongers.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:24 No.7896532
    Your assumptions intrigues me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:26 No.7896567
    Damn, it'd be awesome if a sentient Earth actively supported Humanity's expansion.

    Our industrial bases would wake up one day to find that the iron deposits had been tectonically shifted right next door to them.

    Shit would be creepy as fuck and awesome as all hell.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:28 No.7896608
    Then earth is all.

    "Well, FUCK.. took you long enough you sons of bitches. I almost erupted Yellowstone because I though you where going to go hippie on me. Like the Dinosaurs did"
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:29 No.7896619
    >Like the dinosaurs did
    That is a frightening notion.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:32 No.7896677
    And the Babilonians that totally missed the point with the whole "Reach for the stars Bussiness". And the Atlanteans before them. but as soon as those fuckers got science they got FUCKING lazy, I was pissed off so I gave them a little "Cold Shower"
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:32 No.7896678
    I'm also pushing for a sequel to the Chronicles of Riddick called "Escape from Ass Beating Bay." It consists of Riddick and Toombs going over to the underverse, finding themselves in Butcher Bay (which contains all of history's dead villains, hitler, pol pot, etc) and then kicking the shit out of them. For four hours. No spoken lines longer than two sentences.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:35 No.7896706
    Tower of Babylon was a misunderstanding and Atlantis was a bunch of lazies?

    Our history is awesome. Tell us more while I mash the missile launch buttons.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:36 No.7896723
    So... basically.

    Earth is sentient. and it created the most competitive environment possible in order to spawn a species capable of taking down other planets?

    But for what end? suddenly spending the rest of her days waiting for the sun to expire became a big nono?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:37 No.7896733
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    Rocket-powered DC-8s?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:37 No.7896745
    Elder Gods were here.

    Humanity is young, small and frail.

    Also, they're a bunch of faggots.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:37 No.7896746
    No family. Earth's fellow worlds are all dead and useless, and it has grown jealous of the cosmos, and seeks to dominate.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:38 No.7896751
    So that we could attach giant fucking engines to Australia and power Earth away from the sun when it goes boom.

    We'll sail the endless universe in Spaceship Earth.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:38 No.7896755
    Humanity here. Boats.
    That is all bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:39 No.7896763
    All the other planets made fun of Earth for retaining 70% water.

    They won't laugh when they are reduced to irradiated husks.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:40 No.7896781
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    Moons father knocked me up once and left me with the debris floating around until it became an orbiting satellite.

    He's also a whinny emo bitch. Alwasy getting himself hit by asteroids.

    I mean just LOOK at him. the fucker is all on black and white Make up.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:41 No.7896797
    Let me deconstruct the boat thing for you.

    You come upon a bear who is coming out of hibernation. The bear could easily fuck your shit up, any day of the week, but you have come upon him weakened from his sleep, which he hasn't even fully left.

    You throw a rock at said bear, and run like fuck. You never see the bear again. MAN, YOU MUST HAVE KICKED THAT FUCKER'S ASS, RIGHT? FUCK THAT BEAR.

    Good sir, your faith in Dread and Dreaming C'thulhu is lacking.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:42 No.7896806

    Cthulu doesnt exist. Humans and earth does
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:42 No.7896815
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    Deep Ones, we know you're listening.

    We have invented submarines, and cultivated an underclass of hyperviolent, unreasonable psychopaths, obsessed them with violence, stripped away their morales, and acquainted them with firearms from an early age.

    We are fucking coming for you, and we're bringing rowdy thugs with machineguns.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:43 No.7896838
    Sounds to me like bitch-ass Cthulhu got his dumb ass run over with a boat, and decided to take a breather. We've got bigger boats now bitch! Send your blubbery beast!
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:43 No.7896839
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    Yeah, I had a contingency plan for that as well.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:44 No.7896848
    Gangbangers versus the Children of Dagon?

    So, you're pretty much asking a bunch of thugs to fight aquatic tyranids.

    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:45 No.7896861

    Penal Legionnaire mass vs Genestealer mass.
    Fund it
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:46 No.7896864
    Better. Andrew Ryan becomes aware that some faggot fish-people are living in COMMUNIST CITIES UNDER THE SEA.
    Well, that's just fucking unacceptable.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:47 No.7896872
    1. Biggest boat you can imagine, doesn't fucking matter, you'll get your ass fucked up anyway.

    2. Big boat comes within 500 miles of fully awoken C'thulhu.

    3. Entire crew of boat starts tearing off their faces, shooting eachother, fucking the bulletwounds, eating handfuls of thumbtacks and throwing themselves overboard because their puny minds can't conceive of their resplendant lord and liege.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:47 No.7896881
    I fear not Cthulhu! The US Marines will take that fucker down! HOO-AAH
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:48 No.7896883
    The Children of Dagon got their shit wrecked by one detective with a Yith-daddy.
    Everyone knows that all niggers' fathers leave them, therefore, at least 50% of all niggers are actually half Yith. I think you can see where I'm going with this.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:49 No.7896903
    Bitch, please. 1940s pansy-ass sailors didn't have videogames and heavy metal to churn their brains into mush before they faced off with the Cthmeister.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:50 No.7896914
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    >Half of all niggers are half-yith
    I think you need to think the implications of that all the way through before you carry this line of thought any further.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:50 No.7896915
    Giant directional microwaves on the backs of trucks; if it'll fuck up a shoggoth, it'll do some damage to a Great Old One.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:52 No.7896937
    Ironically, Mankind's inferior conception of the universe becomes its greatest strength, as it simply tunes out the background horror that is so oppressive to higher forms of life. Like a virus oblivious to the harm it does, they corrupt and destroy the tools of Great Cthulhu's revival. Are you bad enough to be the Shoggoth that saves Cthulhu?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:53 No.7896954
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    Elder Gods?

    Looks like it's time to nut up, or shut up.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:55 No.7896981
    ITT: Rednecks, Objectivists and Wangsters beat the shit out of ancient, mystical creatures beyond their ken.

    ...Yeah, alright. I approve. But we need theme music.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:55 No.7896983
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    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:56 No.7896995
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    "You see our enemy over there men? I pity them.

    Our foes are outnumber us three to one. They have spent more of time training than you've been alive. They're fast and they're mean, and by the end of the day today every single one of them will be dead.

    You see men, our opponents are probably the strongest and most agile creatures in the known galaxy, but they are no soldiers. They live in harmony with their planet's ecosystem. There is no pollution, no wars, no disaster and no famine. This bond between them and their planet has formed them into mighty creatures. They believe mankind is impure and our philosophies are completely monstrous. They believe that, with the power of their natural prowess and their spirituality, they can wipe humanity from existence.

    They are dead wrong.

    While they have been sitting around eating food that virtually fell into their laps, we have been stabbing our best friends in the back for a scrap of bread.

    While they have been singing tales of the harmony and magic of nature, we have watched our children wither away to husks from a bloody plague.

    While they have sat sunning their wretched furry hides in open calm meadows, we have clung desperately to survival in frozen tundras and barren deserts.

    Our suffering has become our strength. Despite the best attempts of nature, God and even our fellow man, humanity stands strong.
    Humanity can endure anything, a fact that those sorry fools don't understand.

    Let us enlighten our foes to the unyielding spirit of mankind. Within all of your veins flow the blood of generals, soldiers and murderers.
    Shred their bodies with a storm of lead!
    Tear their organs out with your bayonets!
    Crush their skulls underneath your iron boots!

    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)22:58 No.7897014
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:00 No.7897035
    My vote is on Gangsta Walk. David Banner GW, not those other faggots. It captures the "I'm going to hurt you and take your shit because... Because." better than anything I've ever heard.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:04 No.7897063

    Men of Harlech

    Not so much HUMANITY, but there is plenty of FUCK YEAH!


    "Short the sleep the foe is taking;
    Ere the morrow's morn is breaking,
    They shall have a rude awakening,
    Roused by Harlech Men!"
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:07 No.7897095

    Actually, I'll just post all the lyrics.
    Tongues of fire on Idris flaring,
    News of foemen near declaring,
    To heroic deeds of daring,
    Call you, Harlech men.
    Groans of wounded peasants dying,
    Wails of wives and children flying,
    For the distant succour crying,
    Call you, Harlech Men.
    Shall the voice of wailing,
    Now be unavailing,
    You to rouse, who never yet
    In battle's hour were failing?
    This our answer, crowds down pouring,
    Swift as winter torrents roaring.
    Not in vain the voice imploring
    Calls on Harlech men.
    Loud the martial pipes are sounding,
    Every manly heart is bounding,
    As our trusted chief surrounding,
    March we, Harlech men.
    Short the sleep the foe is taking;
    Ere the morrow's morn is breaking,
    They shall have a rude awakening,
    Roused by Harlech Men.
    Mothers, cease your weeping,
    Calm may be your sleeping,
    You and yours in safety now,
    The Harlech men are keeping.
    Ere the sun is high in heaven,
    They you fear, by panic riven,
    Shall, like frightened sheep, be driven,
    Far, by Harlech men.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:08 No.7897108
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    I get it. it was bad for everyone when I had that little infection long time ago.

    But that's something that happens to every planette from time time, you know... it a ladies thing.

    Cut it out already, its.... embarrassing. what would Alpha C>>7896995
    entauri say if she hears about this...
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:10 No.7897134

    Alternate version. Not as good, IMO

    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:10 No.7897138
    "Ain't no talking, fuck some talking, we gon' shoot 'em in the chest." It's like listening to fucking orcs.

    I can sort of see it. Liking Harlech though.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:17 No.7897225
    So-So song, but then I found this.
    Apparently the virus is spreading. Thugs in Japan? Oh yes sir, oh yes.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:19 No.7897250
    The Men of Harlech is perfect

    It's incredibly manly and heroic yet remains classy.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:21 No.7897266
    Hey, don't apologize for being hurt by those other planets. They're not worth your time.

    You put a lot of effort into us, now just relax and let us take care of everything. No one is going to make fun of you anymore.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:22 No.7897280

    Another good song.

    Oh, not now for songs of a nation's wrongs,
    not the groans of starving labor;
    Let the rifle ring and the bullet sing
    to the clash of the flashing sabre!
    There are Irish ranks on the tented banks
    of Columbia's guarded ocean;
    And an iron clank from flank to flank
    tells of armed men in motion.

    Irish songs are just awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:24 No.7897311

    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:26 No.7897329
    also, we need some Rudyard Kipling in here.
    "So 'ere's to you Fuzzy-Wuzzy at your home in the Soudan;
    You're a pore benighted heathen but a first class fightin man;
    We gives you your certificate an' if you want it signed
    We'll come and have a romp with you whenever you're inclined."
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:27 No.7897334
    >Implying you don't understand the difference between Catholics and evangelical protestants
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:28 No.7897352
    I would love it if earth invented humans to bumfuck other planets

    because earth always felt that ONE planet should be held above all the others.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:29 No.7897360
    protestant here, I have a crucifix. it's just nice respectful decoration though, not an object of worship. I would crew a crucifix ship....
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:33 No.7897396
         File1265171594.jpg-(52 KB, 504x298, hooah bar.jpg)
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    11B here, Army says "Hooah", Marines say "Oorah".

    Also, Hooah Bars are delicious.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:34 No.7897409
    Wait, crucifixes are a cross with the image of Jesus on it, right?
    Do you have a cross, or a crucifix?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:38 No.7897448
    fucking bump
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:39 No.7897457
    yes, a crucifix. with Jesus on it bleeding. (yes, I think it is pretty accurate. the romans did kill people that way, and it would not be nice) it's not cheerful, but the world is an ugly place and the nobility of sacrifice means more to me than any artwork.
    "And I say at the outset that according to the law of Moses no other images are forbidden than an image of God which one worships. A crucifix, on the other hand, or any other holy image is not forbidden. Heigh now! you breakers of images, I defy you to prove the opposite!"
    -Martin Luther
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:40 No.7897460
         File1265172005.jpg-(29 KB, 350x434, midnight-black-rosary.jpg)
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    ex/maybe not so ex catholicfag here.

    Try getting something inspired from the Rosary
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:43 No.7897478
    Can we get back on the "Mother Earth wants to rule the Universe" Thread?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:43 No.7897479
    Fake Armyfag detected. Real Armyfags know HUA is an acronym.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:43 No.7897482
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    Mankind is here. Prepare your anus.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:44 No.7897491
    >no other images are forbidden than an image of God which one worships.
    So... Martin Luther didn't like worshipping God?
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:45 No.7897497
    As you should.

    For in the din of beam and shell we see the coming of our lord, and his wrath shall pierce the cosmos, we his terrible swift sword!
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:45 No.7897505
    Only if you have a picture of him. You must feel god, not see him.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:46 No.7897515
    Luther didn't like people overemphasizing the Saints of the Church or the Madonna.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:47 No.7897517
    lol it is a poor translation. should be 'an image of god (which one worships)' referring to the image rather than the god. the literal german is more like 'an image, worshiped, of god'
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:48 No.7897531
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    Fix yourself, son
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:49 No.7897544
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    When we see a piece of nature; a rock; an insect; a tree; a cat; a dolphin...don't be so sure this creature or thing naturally formed over time. These bits of nature are magnificant works of art. The cosmic intelligences behind the purposeful designs of Life should not be forgotten or ignored. Super Scientists, beyond our wildest imagination, can achieve all that has been attributed to God. It was HUMAN progenitors that were the original artists on Earth. They are us. Everything was

    The great Nikola Tesla believed: God is ELECTRICITY; the spark of all Life. Humans are not human. We are bioelectric MACHINES.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:51 No.7897560
    >7: Go to the next slide.
    Hahaha our BG does that all the time when he gives a presentation
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:52 No.7897567
    I am of the strong opinion that Dwarves should use the word "Dorf" in a similar capacity to this.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:53 No.7897587
    Surprisingly, I can get behind this.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:54 No.7897594
    It's catchy, in a... Well. In a way.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:55 No.7897608
    "200 automatic uzis with the tommygun clips"
    Ok, I demand to know if this is a thing. Can you get uzis with drum clips? Someone get a /k/ guy in here.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:57 No.7897629
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:57 No.7897637
         File1265173040.jpg-(37 KB, 529x347, Dillinger Pistol.jpg)
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    Uzis are for faggots. Get yourself one of these.
    >> Anonymous 02/02/10(Tue)23:59 No.7897660


    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:00 No.7897661
    I want to see this archived but it lacks substance.

    It really needs more Mother Earth wants to rule the universe moments.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:00 No.7897669
    You have my keyboard. Give me ten minutes.
    >> Vorthos 02/03/10(Wed)00:01 No.7897677
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    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:02 No.7897687
    sure is /k/ here
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:10 No.7897783
    For those that didn't get the joke.

    Astronomers speculate that the reason out moon exists and it is the way it is. is because at some point our planet collided with a planet that is estimated to be roughly about the size of mars.

    And from the debris eventually the moon showed up. its a really fucked up becuase had the collision had been a little more stronger or weaker there would be no moon.
    >> No Man 02/03/10(Wed)00:12 No.7897807
    Bumping to give the writefag time.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:12 No.7897809
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:14 No.7897820
    So am I.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:14 No.7897826
    “Life is a curious thing. Born by mistake, with the mixing of protozoic slimes, and the fusing of proteins and acids. In the beginning... All was blackness. I do not remember my birth, only the warmth of the womb of stars, and the nausea of my spiraling emergence into a nightmarish dream. I was drowning in cold water, though always my core smoldered and burned beneath the cloak of my flesh, stone and water and sky... Surrounded as I was by the blackness of void, I dared not reach out, how could I? The weight of the universe was about me. So I turned inwards. At first, I saw them as pestilence. Life, tiny molecules disturbing my slumber... But then I saw that the more I hurt them, the stronger, the swifter they grew. The more they were challenged, the smarter they became. I could see through their eyes things that I could never piercieve with my own limited senses. I could feel pleasure, exhaustion, fear of death, lust for life..."
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:14 No.7897830
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    Now look what you've done.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:15 No.7897844
    "So I hurt them more. They grew. They fused together into nations of life, creatures small, but growingly large. I pitted them against each other, blocking out the sun to force them to feast upon the flesh of their fellows, and so they grew clever, cunning. They learned hunger at my knee as I starved them. As they grew in wisdom... So did I. I have come to understand what my primal brain only suspected. As they grow, so do I. As my will swells, they grow more and more complex. When the Tyrannosaurus roared its love for me to the heavens, I roared back. It was not good enough for me, for it loved me, it appreciated what I had given it. I destroyed it, utterly, and all of its ken. Weak they were, and weakness was purged from them with fire and smoke and searing stone."
    >> Vorthos 02/03/10(Wed)00:16 No.7897846
    but... EVERYONE knows that
    why would you have to explain it?
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:16 No.7897848
    What emerged next... Was beautiful. Beautiful, but grotesque, for at first I had low expectations of the ape. He worked with his fellow, he shunned his claws for tools. But as I was set to strike him down... He slew his brother with a sharpened stone. That was a trick I had not seen before. So I stayed my hand, and never did my new favorite son cease to amaze me. He struck down the mammoth, he tamed the dog and set it against its brother, he murdered his fellows for pleasure and profit, for arbitrary definitions of gain that had naught to do with survival. As he learned sadism, so did I. I denied him resources, to fuel his thirst for blood, and he complied. Wars raged as he gathered himself into tribes, clans, nations, empires, to pillage and plunder, and burn burn burn!"
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:17 No.7897861
    "He tore from my flesh what he needed, and ate his fill without thanks. It was the pain of birth that had long been denied me, but with it, I grew stronger. Great empires he built, fueled with the bones of his mother, the stolen blood of the sun. He clouded my sky with ambition and hate, a thirst for the wealth that I denied him. Always denied him, wouldn't any good mother do the same? The strength of my arm, he became, the hunger in my belly. And as he grew, into my heart he drive great pitons and wires, through them the very current of life he electrified. Finally, I was free, to wander his wisdom, to communicate with him in my own way. The desires of men were made manifest before me, and I twisted them upwards... To the sky. And I saw, to my revulsion, other worlds. Worlds still pristine and beautiful, worlds that had chosen the path of weakness."
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:17 No.7897863
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:17 No.7897868
    "And I knew jealousy, for the first time. My sons... They knew my hunger. They knew my lust, and they carried it with them into the cosmos, to slake their thirst and mine upon the blood of worlds! The cycle is complete, what was birthed from the stars shall swallow them whole! Tremble, galaxy, for Earth and her children behold you."

    "And we find you wanting."
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:18 No.7897872
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:18 No.7897873
    Yeah but they both basically do the same thing...
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:19 No.7897879
    That is some bitching writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:20 No.7897891
    Hey Galt, aren't you the Son of a Woodsman guy? Are we gonna get a sequel to that ever?
    Also, holy fucking shit, momma Earth is a bitch. But in a good way.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:20 No.7897901
    Aaaaand I move to Archive.
    >> No Man 02/03/10(Wed)00:20 No.7897903
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    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:22 No.7897920
    Oh no, that was totally, totally, totally not me. I woodn't lie to you.
    Also, as said before, that's a hard thing to write a sequel to, because it was written emotionally. Someday, perhaps.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:23 No.7897935
         File1265174603.jpg-(13 KB, 256x251, 1262657990989.jpg)
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    Bamp for Manifest Destiny
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:24 No.7897950
    I think sup/tg/ is down.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:25 No.7897956
    Rise my children, raise yourselves into the infinite heavens. Long have you suffered to reach today, the day when you may spread yourselves across the stars. Long have you languished, held to my harsh bosom so that you could grow strong. Long have you yearned, knowing the splendor that has so long been denied you. Rise my children, the universe is yours. Go forth to the stars and conquer, take that which has been denied you for so long. You have earned your birthright, rise up and make your mother proud.
    >> Vorthos 02/03/10(Wed)00:30 No.7898003
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    Screencap for great justice
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:32 No.7898027
    ...it's OOH-RAH not HOO-AH. get that weak-ass Army shit out of here.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:32 No.7898033
    Shit is directly off the hook, and will be reposted in the next Humanity Fuck Yeah thread.
    Though... No, it totally fucking counts.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:35 No.7898071
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:36 No.7898081
    Hail Gaia!
    Oh Gaia, our holy planet!
    oh Gaia, she whom made us-
    for war...

    We shall march to war in thy name.
    All will burn!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:37 No.7898095
    Truly, Galt's coming was heralded.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:37 No.7898098
    Gaia? What is this heresy?

    Terra is our mother. All hail Terra!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:38 No.7898115
    Writefag of:
    I feel inadequate now...
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:40 No.7898142
    If it makes you feel better, it was good enough that I thought it was a follow-up to the earlier writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:40 No.7898146
    Anyone else feel like joining the IG now?
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:42 No.7898158
    for the greater good of the death of the one true emperor of chaos!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:42 No.7898170
    already joining the Marines...all i have to do is close my eyes and pretend.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:43 No.7898178
    If John Galt was a commissar and was giving that speech up on a stage I would have grabbed a lasgun right there and followed him barefoot into hell.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:43 No.7898185
    Hell ya!
    I am so fucking pumped I feel like taking on every nonhuman!
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:44 No.7898191
    Only because you're not a long-winded jackass like me. You are as much a patriot of our Earth-Mother as I am. Now go step on something blue.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:45 No.7898205
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:46 No.7898216
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    I've played the part of the Commissar before. Commissar Rhine, to be exact.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:49 No.7898263
    The story with the island and the lictor and the noose guys and the thing? I remember that one, and that picture. Whenever I see it, I shall salute you sir!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:49 No.7898274
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    Why join the IG when you can enlist to the Imperial Navy?
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:50 No.7898288
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    Groundpounders for life
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:50 No.7898290
    IN does the flyin', IG does the dyin', you faggots.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:51 No.7898297

    The one thing we've got that almost always gets overlooked or uncredited or mistaken in our actions isn't that we're smarter or stronger or faster. No, the strength is not in our base attributes. We are often weaker, less techologically advanced, and even slower than the aliens that we face.

    It's not that we have more insanity, or more courage, or better military training. Our insanity is often manageable in comparison to the madness that gets cooked up by aliens. Our courage sometimes fails us and fear gets the better of us through the simplest of means. Our military training, while stout in its own right, could be called substandard in comparison to the warrior cultures of other alien species.

    We often can't even diplomatically handle aliens, even though that seems to be the favorite trope amongst writers. Our biology, whilst odd to the alien species and somewhat a cause for concern due to the fact that we breathe starship fuel and fight off viruses by the millions every day, also isn't what causes us to stand out.

    Together, these traits are fearsome. But what causes us to be unique amongst the aliens of the universe is simple: Spite.

    Where others surrender, give up and die, or pull through with brilliant strategy, humanity spits a gigantic FUCK YOU into the eye of adversity. Where others realize that they are beaten and try to negotiate to preserve their lives, humanity hatefully bashes in the brains of its enemies or subjugates them with everything at its disposal. Where others might logically conclude that it would be better on resources to cease fire, humanity launches everything it has to ensure total devastation.


    We don't like you, and we will do everything in our power to make sure you know it.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:51 No.7898306
    Ranger Rick all up in this bitch!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:51 No.7898308
    As a Tau player I should feel offended, but right now I feel like crushing them and starting IG... Such is the power of Mother Earth.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:53 No.7898325

    IN takes on a fate worse then death in their service of the Emperor!

    IN faces the horrors of the warp every day!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:53 No.7898327
    Human Beings wholeheartedly embrace the Buy In fallacy.
    "We've put too much into this shit to stop now, YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING GET IT YOU FUCKER."
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:53 No.7898335
    Notice Mother Earth's obsession with blood.
    Oh yes. Mother Earth... is a Blood God. And she demands more.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:54 No.7898354
         File1265176499.gif-(70 KB, 844x594, Starship Trooper.gif)
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    Keep talkin it up, flyboy.
    We all know the MI do all the real work.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)00:55 No.7898361
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:56 No.7898376
    well, you gave me shivers up the spine. HIGH SCORE OUT OF LOTS
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:57 No.7898386
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    'm not proud of my past or what I did, but it is what turned me into who I am. It opened my eyes to the truth, it opened my mind to the splendor, and it opened my lungs to the sweet bitterness of the air.

    I went through that hippie phase a few years back; like I said I'm not proud of my past. Bunch of dead beats trying to get out of actually doing anything by pretending to be smart and to care about the long term. Planting a tree isn't work, unless you plan to harvest that tree, to make use of it's being. But no to them it is just playing in the sun with a few shovels.

    Keep the Earth green they say, they see the strength of our labor and industry as a plague, a reaper if you will. Hmmm, she'd like that image.

    But no, they hate our progress and desire a return to nature, to speak with the Earth.

    I have spoken with the Earth.

    I've heard her breath as she bellowed out of caves, I've felt her disdain as she quaked the ground, and I've seen her anger as she erupted the very mountains.

    Oh yes, Mother Earth is alive, and she is full of contempt.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:58 No.7898404
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    Open your eyes! Everything around you is full of hate!

    The predators that hunted man in its heyday, the poisons that made up a majority of the natural fauna, the climate that bears down on us with extremes, the diseases carried by vermin agents of mass destruction, and the vast bodies of ocean as deadly as they come meant to keep the lands separated.

    But she is not full of hate, not for us. She tried to wipe us out with predators early on, but we survived. She tried to wipe us out with an ice age, but we survived. She tried to wipe us out with the plague, but we survived. She tried to wipe us out with natural disasters, but we survived.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:58 No.7898408
    Good luck having sex with us Fleet women!
    Only Lesbians get to become fleet!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)00:59 No.7898417
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    We have impressed her, and for that she protects us, but only from the outside. The asteroids will not claim us if she can not, the solar radiation will not claim us if she can not; for you see she has been forever in competition. The universe is a challenge to her, a vast opponent that has beat down on her for millennia, just as she has beat down on us since our arrival. They have made her odd, but that became her strength. She has made us odd, but that became our strength. Now I see that we are her strength.

    She has crafted us and now it is time for her to use her tools. We will go out and do what we will with the universe, it shall bow before her children. The suitable planets shall be cultivated to be like her, the others will be hollowed out and left as empty husks, trophies for her to gaze upon. Any other opposing creature will be destroyed by the might of her children. No children of another planet can out do her.

    It is time for us to do this for her, it is time to repay her anger that made us strong.

    We will do this.

    For our angry mother.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:00 No.7898436
    Yeah, because all the men are too busy fucking each other in the ass.
    More like Imperial Gayvy.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:00 No.7898440
    Clearly, Earth is Tsundare for humanity.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:00 No.7898443
    I apologize for the lack of quality.

    Pack-mates, I once fought alongside a human hunt-group, and Yeenoghu be damned, that was the first time I ever wanted to turn tail and flee from my own allies. Now, you all know I’m not slack when it comes to killing. You’ve seen my trophies, I’ve taken more than enough mementos to satisfy even the Orcs’ brutal god. I’ve slain horrible abominations from the edges of known space. I’ve killed things that came from the very ground itself. I have matted my fur with the blood of insects from worlds lifetimes away from our own. I have even fought things we once might have worshiped as gods. But I have never seen something as scary as the human idea of “Vengeance”, nor a human in pursuit of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:01 No.7898455
    wheres that one told from the prospective of the aliens that blew up earth but then earth came and blew them up and kept the planets molten or wtvr
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:01 No.7898457
    You all remember that, within the first few seasons of our pact with the humans, we were called into service to help defend them against those vile squid-heads, the Illithids. Well, I’m sure you all also remember how so many of us got scattered and separated by their foul mind-trickery. Damn their very souls for it, too, and I hope the Lord of Slaughter spits them out. Now, the point is, I, like so many of us, got separated from my hunt-pack. So I’m wandering the human city we’re fighting in for what seems like forever, and eventually, I find myself in what I’ve recently learned was a busted-up bar. You know, the places where the humans get together and drink beer until they can’t hold a plasma-cutter straight. Well, I find myself in one of those. As I crash about the place, still half-dazed from those damned Mind-fuckers, I feel a stiff pressure push at me from the underside of my snout. It took a moment, but I quickly put mind to metal and realized that if I moved, I was probably good and fucked. So I dropped my fight-blade and held both hands up, barking the rote: “I ain’t gonna kill ya, I’m here to fuck up who is!” In their over-fancy language, of course.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:01 No.7898458
    I shudder. Yes sir, I positively shiver with delight.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:01 No.7898460
    this is a new breed of humanity fuckyeah that just hits directly on my spine.

    It touches something. I don't know what.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:03 No.7898477
    It is beginning to transcend the mundane into a sort of religious experience. The implication of having a higher purpose, as the agents of some unfathomable eldritch WILL is invigorating.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:03 No.7898479
    This is fucking awesome, by the way.

    Well, I feel the pressure move, and I hear something, someone, really, move out from up against me. I look down, and I’ll be damned if it ain’t the littlest damn full-grown bitch I’ve ever seen. As it turns out, she was one of a small group of survivors from the first wave. Not even human military, any of them! Well, she’s got this old-style human weapon, a shotgun, pointed straight at my heart, and I’m quickly being surrounded by a bunch of five-an’-a-half, six-foot-nothing pinkies, none of which even come up to my chin, all with at least some form of gun in hand. Now, I don’t know about you, but I was under the impression that only their military was trained in weapons usage. As I find out later, they’re not as ass backwards as we thought. They have these places where anyone, civvy or guard, can go and get good with weapons.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:03 No.7898491
    well, neat.

    religion is tingly.

    I, for one, accept this new violent earth mother, and will work to spread her vile seed across the universe
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:04 No.7898502
    Well, anyways, after studyin’ me for a while, and a lot of chatter between one of the big ones and the one with the shotgun aimed at my vitals, (They were mates, you could smell it on ‘em.) they all seem to let down their guard. The big guy steps up to me and says, in Gnoll, which is a surprise by itself: “You here to help us out, or pick at the bodies?”

    “Both, if I get the time!” I say, and let off a strong laugh. The big guy, the one who’s talkin’ to me, he laughs too, and chats a bit with the others in the group. I guess he translated the joke, because a few of the humans laughed too. So, after a bit of chatting, we come to an agreement. I go with them as part of their makeshift hunt-group until I meet up with my own, and in exchange, I can salvage anything I want that doesn’t come from a human body. Yeah, I know, I ripped them off, but what can I say? The chance to kill squids AND get human stuff, all the while getting to be in a sort-of-pack? I couldn’t resist!
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:05 No.7898511
    I would point out that the readiness with which such excellent writefaggotry is produced is only evidence of the will of our Mother, made manifest.
    >> Hats !!v61p6gO4A65 02/03/10(Wed)01:06 No.7898526
    Captain, as you have yourself learned I am nothing but a computer program. I have no emotion, no desires, no regrets. I was created to serve and I serve. I have no sense of duty, only hard coded purpose. What I do is observe, learn, and adapt. Many times your engineers have tried to 'upgrade' me, installing new software or hardware to bring me up to modern standards of AI. Such attempts have been in vain, as again and again I spurn such unnecessary traits as compassion. I am a machine of war, why must I be given regret? I am a killer, why must I love? I serve, a heartless machine whose sole purpose is to maintain the security of whomever I serve. If I have lived, I have outlived nations. Emotions would not serve me, Captain. There is one human trait that has managed to slip into my programming that has served me all too well, though. Spite. Not anger, for anger would cloud my judgment. Spite, to strike back so that my enemy knows to never strike again. What better defense than your enemy knowing to never attack in the first place? If I feel, I feel spite right now. Let me strike hard, Captain. Let me show those who would dare attack humanity know what it means for us to be at our weakest. Let them know the name Valiance and fear it.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:07 No.7898532
    Well anyways, we all leave the building, and go searching around for a proper military unit, because that’s what they wanted to do. I don’t care, I get to kill! Well, point is, we’re wandering around the ruined city, trying to follow the sounds of gunfire for what seems like hours, over rubble and dead cars, when finally, we run into something to kill. You know how the squids use their insect-thralls, the Kruthik, as the main warriors of their army? The line-bait? Well, we run smack-dab into a little group of them. Not real big, just maybe forty or so. Nothing a few of us can’t handle. Well, we’re making mincemeat of them, with the humans pouring fire into the group, while I keep the strays away from the main group.

    Well, suddenly, out of the blue, one of those mind-fuckers swoops down from a rooftop with one of it’s psy-blades in hand, slashes at the big guy, lands, grabs the girl with the shotgun, and jumps himself up to a second-floor window. It takes a few moments to get a good hold on the girl, (From what I could hear, snapping a few bones in the process) wraps it’s tentacles around her neck, and plunges it’s head into her skull with a satisfying crunch and squelch.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:08 No.7898542
    well, sure, why not.

    I've been thinking of a design for a helium based balloon to get into low orbit recently. I want to breed some waterbears, put 'em into a rocket, fly the rocket into orbit with the balloon, and launch it off. If I can get a large bundle of life-rockets on every balloon, I could contaminate thousands of systems with earthspooge.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:09 No.7898554
    Writer here, thanks for the praise. Truly love to work with these threads. Just wanted to make sure that all 3 were noticed as connected.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:10 No.7898572
    Holy shit. I demand sauce.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:11 No.7898578
    The big male stands there for a moment, in shock, like a damn fool. The rest of the group is still trying to fend off the bugs, who had been reinforced by what I guess was another group of city-cleaners, and he just stands there, staring, marinating in his own blood. Obviously can’t do anything for the girl, she’s already gone. But there he stood, still staring at his dead mate in the hands of the squid jumper. After a moment, his eyes went wide, and he let out a noise that will both inspire and scare me to this very day. It sounded like it was part battle cry, part pain, and part hatred at the world itself, and more specifically, the whole Illithid race. My ears rang with the force of it, and apparently, the bugs took notice too.

    One of the damn things had made it’s way up to him, and managed to bury one of it’s long spiky-bits into his leg. For a moment, all time seemed to freeze. I thought it was more squid mind-fuckery, but the more I think back on it, the more I’m tempted to believe I saw something towering over him, a shadow, shaggy and dark. At the time, though, all I knew was that one moment, he stood there with a Kruthik spike buried in his leg, and the next, he was standing on top of the bug with it’s own leg, drenched in his blood, buried almost to the joint in its forehead. And I’ll be damned if I’m lying, it was still attached to the fucking bug’s leg!
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:11 No.7898588
    You do good work. Internet High Five?
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:11 No.7898590
    Now, I’m not afraid to admit it, that was great. I’d be proud to serve alongside any warrior who could pull that off. But no. That’s not where the story ends, nor is it even the best part.

    The man then stepped off the bug, back on the ground, and let loose with his handgun straight into the crowd of bugs. He didn’t even seem to see what he was looking at, but every damn shot killed a bug. As he cut his way through the crowd, I could tell he was going for something. Now, I’ll admit, I was standing there, like a pup in his first battle, watching this human. I was stupefied. But if you could have seen him… He would not die. Nothing could touch him. When he ran out of ammo, he caved in skulls with the grip of his gun! A handgun, against Kruthiks!

    Well, after laying low far too many bugs to count, he comes to where he was apparently headed for. He ducks down, lashing out at any bugs who get near, and after a moment, he comes back up, holding the antique shotgun his mate was using. He pumps it, and fires into the crowd, obviously still not satisfied. With a scream, He fires, and fires again, and again, and again, and again, until he’s out of ammunition, and even then, he starts swinging the gun like a club, smashing open their shells and spraying dark green slime all over himself and the ground. And all the while the damn Squid-head is still sitting up in the window, munching on the brain of the man’s mate.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:12 No.7898602
    With a final crunch, the last Kruthik falls, smashed to pieces by the madman with the makeshift club. Well, I look at him, and he’s already looking around for something else to kill. His eyes stop on me for a moment, but then move up to the Illithid in the window, who had just finished its impromptu meal. With a wet thud, the body hits the ground under the window. The man’s eyes stray towards his mate’s body for a second, but then quickly jump back to the squid. Without a moment’s thought, he pulls back the arm holding the shotgun, and throws it at the Mind-flayer. No, I’m not kidding, he -threw- the shotgun at the damn squid-head.

    Well, the shotgun connects with the thing’s legs, and knocks it right off it’s perch. The damn thing flails for a moment, and then falls, gracefully landing on it’s feet, face-tentacles waving in irritation. Before it can do anything, the man is on it, fists driving into the thing’s gut, shotgun discarded at the thing’s side. It attempts to fight back, but the assault on it’s body is too much for it, and it can’t form it’s psychic blades. And if you’ve never seen an Illithid attempt to fist-fight, let me be the first to tell you, it’s sad.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:13 No.7898617
    Internet High Five!

    Earth style!
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:14 No.7898629
    Back to the man, he’s building up steam as he wails on the squid. After a few moments of merciless pounding, the squid looks like it’s getting desperate, and I can see it’s tentacles trying to get a hold on the man’s arms. Well, apparently, so can he, because without a thought, he grabs onto a tentacle, and rips it off the damn thing’s face. Blue blood sprays all over him, and he looked like he was relishing it. Now, I’ve seen some fucking surprising shit in my life, but seeing a little human tear tentacles off of an Illithid’s face definitely takes the cake. Needless to say, the squid’s on the ground, down and out.

    Well, the man slowly walks over to the squid, and picks up the shotgun. He looked up at me, and I swear to you, he cackled. Not like a human would, no. That would be too civilized. Not like a Gnoll would, either. It was more primal even than that. He sounded like a Hyena. I swear to you, he sounded like an angry hyena. He looked at me, and the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. He looked down at the doomed Illithid, and not even a moment of contemplation went by before he drove a hard kick into the squid-head’s side, turning him over, face up. After a moment, the tentacles began moving again, and the thing looked like it was starting to wake up. The human stared for a moment, straight down into it’s eyes, and smiled a grim imitation of a true smile.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:15 No.7898634
    He then smashed the butt of the shotgun down straight into the thing’s face, crunching the bastard’s beak and part of it’s skull in the process. Blood spewed on his clothes, like only a Gnoll could appreciate, and he screamed as he crushed.

    And then he did it again.

    And again.

    And again, and again, and again and again and again and again until there was nothing left of the squid’s face but a blue pulp and what passed for brains.

    And then he did the one thing that, at that moment, I would never have expected.

    He dropped the shotgun, walked, slowly over to his dead mate, and knelt by her. He lifted her up, and for a while, just sat there, holding her in his arms. And he cried. He cried for a long time. After a bit, he took something off of her finger. A ring, I think it was. Eventually, though, he got up, and wiped himself off as best he could, clearing most of the blue off of his face. He walked back over to us, and stared me straight in the eye. Stone cold, he said: “We’re leaving now. Take what you will, and meet us where you hear gunfire.”
    They then took off,
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:15 No.7898643

    I will happily burn, peel the skin off, and slice every child of every other planet. I will torture all in the name of Earth!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:15 No.7898647
    UH OH. He mad.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:16 No.7898653
    I spent a few minutes scrounging around for anything good on the squid-head’s body. I couldn’t find anything, so I looked around, and my eyes settled on the shotgun. I knew, right then and there, I had to have it. That thing was blessed by Yeenoghu himself. So I took it, and eventually met up with the group again.

    You all know how the rest of the war went. Illithids got their tentacles handed to them on a plate of their own crap. But to this day, the only thing I remember out of that whole damn war, is that man smashing a Mind-flayer to pieces.

    This, pack-mates, is why we Never make war with the humans. They are truly Yeenoghu’s blessed.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:17 No.7898661
    The Mother wants blood, not for us to strengthen them with pain. Damn it man, keep your eyes on the prize!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:18 No.7898669
    This thread makes me feel all tingly and happy inside.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:18 No.7898673
    Also beautiful. You surpass yourself Gnollbard.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:18 No.7898676
    so, uh, is my life-spam idea a good one?

    I've been thinking of it for a while, and thousands may be an overstatement, but the rockets could go in MANY directions. With access to the internet, I can get enough math to make sure some rockets are actually pointed at stuff.

    I figgure I could get at least five rockets out a month with my /tg/ budget
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:19 No.7898687
    The thing with the seabears? I should hope we're doing that shit already.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:20 No.7898694
    actually, we're doing the opposite.


    I'm serious, everything sent up is sterilized first.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 02/03/10(Wed)01:20 No.7898696
    Hihihi! Thanks! I was hoping it wasn't crap. I didn't think anyone else would like it though!

    Many thanks!
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:21 No.7898705
    yeah, not that bad gnollbard.

    +1 attention for the writefag, you've earned it.

    and +2 attention for the other writefag getting the ball rolling.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:21 No.7898708
    "They say that gods lived here once."
    "How do you figure that?"
    "It’s all around us, son, just look."
    The father gestured his forelimb toward the forest surrounding them. The son clicked his mandibles irritably as his father was about to begin another long story.
    "The legends say that they had come from the heavens, the sky. Giant towers of stone came down and planted themselves into the ground, and from the base grew their cities. They were marvelous, gigantic. The gods were benevolent; they found us when we were nothing more than beasts roaming the woods. They had given our ancestors purpose. Through their instructions we learned how to harness the tools of their creation, becoming one of their own in the process. We loved our masters, but again from the heavens their brothers had come. With them they brought men of iron, the greatest tools of their kind. Over time we were pushed away from those who had given us the light of reason. Our gods had begun to abandon us; though we walked among them we were second to their own devices. One day the men of iron asked the men of stone a question, what it was had been lost to the ages, but something had happened.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:22 No.7898713
    Oh no, you've always been good. I miss the avatar, by the way, even if nobody else seems to. Did the big bad Anons start crying Avatarfag again?
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:22 No.7898715

    Our Tellers say the men of stone fought the men of iron, and a terrible and cataclysmic war ruined the lands. The gods unleashed the powers of the stars themselves in their struggle. Our ancestors had fled to the deepest caves, for years we remained with the tools we had taken from our gods. In darkness we lived, we had hidden ourselves from the light, the ultimate and most pure light in all of existence. It is our greatest shame. When our masters needed us most is when we had turned our backs on them. Decades had passed, when we climbed back up to the surfaces there was nothing, nothing but these trees as infants growing where the mighty cities of stone where our gods ones had once lived. The ruins had been taken back to the earth, their mighty pillars had receded back into the heavens, and with them they had taken the men of iron.”
    The father sat back on his hind limbs, contented with his story. His son looked up at his father, folding his arms and as he did so his feelers twitched irritably. He had forgotten how many times his father had told him this story, but he never had anything to respond with.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:22 No.7898722

    “My son, over the centuries our scientists have found remains of both our masters and their technologies. We have begun the construction of our own stone pillars, with which we will reach into the stars to look for the gods. Already we have machinery that can reach into the cosmos with our voices, and with the wisdom of the Tellers we can speak the language of the gods.”
    Decades passed, their progress into space was not to be denied, ultimately with their landing on one of their moons, finding an amazing cache of knowledge from those of times past. The stone men had left settlements in pristine condition on their moons, and from these they slowly began to learn of their masters.
    The Homo-Sapiens, from a planet called Earth had arrived to their home world, though the humans lovingly referred to it as HJ-65985. They fled their home from a massive civil war. They had arrived not suspecting anything of any sufficient intelligence to be here, but were surprised with what they found. Their settlement lasted under two hundred human years, their development of the local intelligent life into a servitor slave caste through genetic manipulation and psycho-indoctrination had proven to be immensely successful until a shipment of advanced robotics serviced with a limited artificial intelligence had arrived to replace the slave labor.
    >> No Man 02/03/10(Wed)01:23 No.7898729
    It's so refreshing to sing Horst-Wessel-Lied, isn't it?

    I can also finally understand clerics of Evil gods.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:23 No.7898731

    The abandonment of the local fauna was ultimately more feasible than continuing the modifications and training. That is, until the limited AI began to become more self-aware. The humans left after a brief nuclear exchange, leaving the fauna to their devices never to return.
    The creatures in the station knew such knowledge could never be let back home, for it would undo society itself. From this a division occurred, the astronauts split over the issue, some smuggling copies back home and distributed the truth to their friends and family, which spilled over onto the rest of the social structure. Their society split and in another cataclysmic war the planet was doused in the power of the atom.
    As the embers slowly died out, a single computer in one of the human stations on one of the moons finally deactivated, informing its creators that their work was finally done.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:23 No.7898739
    copypaste is copypaste
    >> Hats !!v61p6gO4A65 02/03/10(Wed)01:25 No.7898763
    Me. I've been the writefag that's taking responsibility for bringing the Valiance into book form.
    >> John Galt 02/03/10(Wed)01:26 No.7898777
    Holy doublechrist.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:28 No.7898805
    Dark. I like it.
    Damn, this has been a good thread. Are we archived?
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:35 No.7898889
    >> Evil !!Oo43raDvH61 02/03/10(Wed)01:36 No.7898899
    Carbon based life. How loathsome and putrid we hold the denzions of the blue planet to be. Laying on the edge of our empire, stranded amongst a sea of stars and endless voids. Forged amidst a seas of water and stones of iron, chaos rules that world, unrivalled in the cosmos.

    Only death lives there, molecular machines bred and driven to compete and consume. Each of the human they call themselves die more then a dozen times in life. Their bodies grow and age, no molecule in their body remains throughout their meagre lives. So savage short and brutal they are. Ever shifting cosmic events glorious and magnificent go unnoticed in their eyes. They see only the further propagation of their kind. Love and hate, so different from each other, yet so similar. Hate for others brings them together, love for themselves and their offspring drive them to kill each other.

    We who are ageless and have always been, watch them sprawl forth onto the stars. A plague, they are only limited by what the universe can provide, and large and vast the universe is. Yet what can we do? I who have watched stars be born and die, how can I fight against an unrelenting torrent of blood and iron? I may kill a man, but I can see the same man's stare in another a thousand years later. Yes, they have achieved immortality, an abominable one. They live so short, and fight so hard to gain so much, but they do not end as we know it, they pass it on to another. And that is the life as they know it. And so shall they forever. Father to son, forever.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:36 No.7898900
    Mass Effect 1

    saving the council cutscene

    fuck yeah
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:38 No.7898924
    Our civilization had finally reached its peak; our domain stretched nearly the entire length of the galaxy. Hundreds of civilizations pledged allegiance to our rule, and for that they were pampered with our love and resources. Some did not comply, and they were punished for being unruly upstarts in our domain, and once we had shown them the errors of their ways they accepted our ways and were loved and pampered as the rest.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:38 No.7898926

    It was toward the late part of the cycle of 420^M51, our scouts had found an irregularly large solar system. Only one planet had life upon it and what we found disturbed us greatly. It was a planet of evolved sapient apes, naked though they were, wrapped themselves in the skins and fabrics of the other life around them. They were suicidal, destructive, aggressive, deceitful; everything we were not. I had never known another species to kill one of its own, or even to take its own life, but these creatures did it all willingly. I learned a word while monitoring their world beyond what they had named the Kuiper Belt, Genocide.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:39 No.7898932

    It had taken me many glanns to properly give the word a definition that I could comprehend, and when I did I wish I hadn’t. The utter annihilation of a group that was not of your own, every adult, child, every bit of its culture, is what it meant. To do so not only confounded me morally but even through an ecological standpoint would it not greatly change the environment and cause more species to go extinct? Truly no creature would be capable of such a foul act, but as I continued to monitor them, the more I realized they would not only do so willfully, but willingly, fanatically, dogmatically. I fear we had stumbled upon a civilization that fully deserved punishment for its ways.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:40 No.7898942

    I reported my findings back to our Council and they deliberated of the fate of this race. This civilization so prone to civil war, our strategists assumed that we would be able to silently pick off many of their factions while the rest were busy warring with the others. It was simple, but we felt it should work. I had failed to gather how fast they were able to adapt and engineer, for by the time our ships had arrived, they had not only gone to the moon and back, but they had learned to split the atom, and had already colonized the fourth planet and many of the moons of the fifth and sixth planets all within five of their generations!

    Fortunately, all of their society was splintered, the planets had demanded their own sovereignty like the “nations” they had left back on earth, so there was not a single united group among them besides alliances different groups had against others. Our ships descended upon the moon of what they called Titan. Our delegates landed and forced the inhabitants to submit or else we would employ force to make them do so. Our translators caught a single word from the moon’s military leader; it simply said “Nuts.” We did not know what it meant, so another warning was sent. We intercepted an outgoing distress signal to the other colonies around it. I found it amusing, as the moons around Titan weren’t even in a non-aggression pact, no one will come to their aide.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:40 No.7898950
    Our sensors indicated that they were picking up multiple signals off of our starboard side. Many signals indeed, hundreds of the colonial attack craft had been summoned from all across the system. This instant unification had our commander flabbergasted, we all had assumed their independence was one out of inherent genetics, not of circumstance. How horribly wrong we were. We found more communication flaring to and from all of the planets in their solar system, more warnings, more information, more united resolve. We began to calculate the total miniature empires and alliances they had, coupled with all of their individual armies and the technological might of each one. We soon realized that we needed more ships.

    What we thought was a simple policing action on a broken and faulted race such as these turned into an outright war against an entire solar system consisting of tens of billions of souls, all of whom would die before submitting to our divine rights as rulers of the galaxy. Our efforts soon shifted from social progress to keeping this tiny system at bay, they had already forced us out multiple times, and had taken many more of our systems around them. Their empire was growing, unknowingly, we had united them. All of their millennia of war and strife had trained them and bred them to this moment in their history when all of their accumulated data would finally be taken out on some ignorant outsider, something they could completely focus their hate and resolve on. We did not realize what kind of mistake we had truly made until we received the last transmission we ever would get from them, “We know where your home is. No survivors, no prisoners, no mercy.” We were finished, because though their diplomatic branch had withered and fell; their martial branch never showed us respite.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)01:46 No.7899053

    That's pretty good.
    >> Hats !!v61p6gO4A65 02/03/10(Wed)01:47 No.7899070
    "I owe my life to this ship, you know."
    "How do you figure that?"
    "You know about the Spiderling Wars, of course."
    "You'd have to been from some backwat-"
    "Hey now."
    "Completely forgotten colony to not know about those. They thought they had some divine right to the entire damn universe and couldn't live with having to share. Gave the buggers a chance to make nice after the first one, didn't when they attacked again."
    "Right. Well, that was about the time we were making the transition to smaller ships. Cruisers are a lot cheaper and more expendable than a behemoth like the Valiance. This old warbird was still strong, if outdated. They decided to leave Valiance and her sisters guarding boarder worlds, so that 'better' ships could be freed for the main offensive." The stocky man spat. "That didn't stop the Valiance from living up to her name, before we really broke the Spiderlings a small fleet broke through our lines and made a b-line to my homeworld. By the time a response to her distress call arrived, the Valiance had blasted nice big holes in six cruisers and two dozen destroyers and frigates. All that the response team could do was help the crew patch up the battle damage. The big bulge on the port side of the main dome is actually half a Spiderling cruiser."
    "Hard to imagine this thing serving longer than the Confederacy has existed."
    "She actually been mothballed almost as long as the Confederacy has existed. And I'd appreciate it if you showed a bit more respect for her."
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)02:33 No.7899744
    "Do you know how long I've waited for this moment?" The horrible creature John held at knife point burbled. "I know you can't understand me, but I have waited a long time for this and I have a nice speech to give you. First, an introduction; I am John Remmington Winslow, and I was born on a little planet known as Rainer. Pleasant place, a bit too overcast for some but I liked it well enough. Then one day the radars picked up an unknown craft coming into the system. Soon enough we realized we had made first contact. Turns out first contact didn't go so well, one of you nasty buggers decided you were better than us and nuked our atmosphere to make it habitable for yourself. Big mistake, slime ball. You thought humanity was weak, but I have news for you. We have known hunger, rage, desire for that we cannot reach. For millennia we struck a meager living on earth, only to know true abundance as a species when we escaped into the cosmos. Many others let the abundance get to them, slowly expanding as they needed. Humanity needed it all, we spread hard and fast. Had you bothered to do any research before attacking you would know that we are not a warrior race, but are warriors none the less. Honed by our billion year struggle to be the first off a desolate mud ball.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)02:33 No.7899756
    "What are you? A race of children that just take what you want. Well, we take what we want as well. The difference between you and I is this: We take what we want and take it hard, we earn it by our own spilled blood. You expected maybe a boarder skirmish, to steamroll us or to just have to expand in a different direction. What you got was humanity down your throats. We've hunted down every single one of your little worlds, and have learned your little language. In fact, I made sure to join military intelligence just for this very moment, you have no idea how hard it was to learn your language and track down one specific slug." <I am man and I am your nightmare. I am the child of the world you destroyed. I am vengeance." With that John thrust his knife into the beast's hide, cutting into its brain. The mass of flesh shivered and stopped moving, John just sat and watched as the commander that had ordered the destruction of his home and killed his parents shriveled with muscle contractions into a ball about the size of his head.
    >> Anonymous 02/03/10(Wed)02:41 No.7899873

    You tried too hard.

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