every one would fall asleep as the dm tells them what they are eating.

google mouse guard rpg

Possible, certainly
Fun-eeeh

Redwall RPG is everyone putting on aprons, and baking the most fucking delicious cake ever then eating it in the park

>>7756850
While the Badger player dies fighting a wildcat. No-one wants to play the Badger.

Also use Mouse Guard.

I was once a PC in a d20 Redwall campaign.

We played vermin pirates. We looted and pillaged, ran away screaming from Bloodwrathing badgers with the stats of dragons, I tortured a hare with a buttered scone and we managed to party wipe right before we started the assault on the Abbey.

Shit was so cash.

I'm gonna play as a Bear.

>>7756743
But do i get to play as a badger? NO!

>>7756872

Why wouldn't you want to play the badger? The badgers are always badass.

>>7756850
I fail to see how this is a bad thing. Delicious cake is, well, delicious.

>>7756900
They all die while everyone else has a delicious feast.

>>7756900

Level adjusted as fuck.

Gargantuan size, + 12 str, a racial rage ability.

Fuck damn.

Use Mouse Guard, stat a few of the other animals, succeed at life.

>>7756915
Don't forget the wealth modifications and the free leadership feat at x5 level with hares. And the ancestral mountain they inherit at level 10.

>>7756908

Who cares? You die in the most badass fashion imaginable.

Also, remember, going blind or becoming a pacifist are acceptable substitutes for dying.

Most likely it would degenerate into furfaggotry within 2-3 sessions.

>>7756888
Consider a standard python is pretty much revered the same way as a dragon is in Redwall, a bear would pretty much be OH GOD RAGNAROK IS HERE

Also: Mouseguard.

>>7756940
They've had wolves and horses, and foxes were antagonists.

A bear would be dialling it up to 11, but there is some size distortion.

>>7756934
I'd prefer to play an otter, a hare (in a non-Badger Mountain game) or a mole. They hardly ever die.

>>7756740
>>7756850
Quoted for truth.

Half of the fun of the Redwall books was the delicious fucking food that Brian Jacques described so exquisitely.

I mean, fuck, a loaf of warm, recently baked chestnut-sprinkled bread the size of a van?

DO WANT.

>>7756940

Asmodeusssssss

>>7756940
Exactly. I'd play as a bear and I'd make the smaller creatures pay homage to me. I'd have Paladins and Clerics and worshipers and little rodent nations built for me. And then I'd wreak Holy Ursine Ruin upon the heathens.

>>7756936
>anthropomorphic animals
>would degenerate into furfaggotry

Underage b& detected. Please go kill yourself.

>>7756979
You would get killed by whoever rolled lucky and got to play the reincarnation of Martin the Warrior this game.

>>7756962
Wolves are almost always the BBEGs.

The horse was pulling a gigantic fucking cart full of vermin along. It was basically Deus Ex Machina. Anything that size is.

I suppose that these foxes are intended to be small, weedy one but even then, they do seem to be by far the most powerful type of vermin.

>>7756995
Was there a wolf BBEG? I only ever established them in relation to the foxes.

Also, I see your 'foxes are the most powerful vermin' and raise you the wildcat dude, who was fucking boss.

>>7756995
well most of the basic enemies are rats and ferrets.

Redwall > anything I could think of as DM for DnD

Me and my brother are thinking of homebrewing it, but it would take ages.
Do you know how many different animals are in all the books? (discounting the SINGLE horse in Redwall)

>>7756993
Unless I make him my avatar. Martin the Bear Scion Warrior.

>>7757016
Wildcats aren't really classified as vermin.

Hell, if you read the "Brocktree" book, you'd understand that the wildcats are basically like the Mafia of Mossflower, powerful, criminal masterminds who came from overseas.

They were almost all BBEGs or plot devices, while foxes are still pretty common cannon fodder.

They still seem to be the most powerful standard vermin, though.

>>7756979

I misread this as

>Holy Ursine Urine

At first.

>>7756962

Moles don't die. Neither do hedgehogs generally. Hares and otters cop it occasionally. Squirrels and mice die regularly and god help you if you're a shrew.

>>7757016
Yes, there was a wolf BB-- actually, no, there wasn't.

There was that crazy artic fox who wore the skull of a wolf that he defeated.

Of course, then a mad sea otter grappled with him, got a mortal wound and in his rage, proceeded to smash his fists on the skull, sinking its teeth into the fox's brains, killing the BBEG.

There is only one way to describe the deaths of BBEGs in the Redwall series.

Boss.

>>7757057
There are a handful of hedgehog bruisers, but they almost always go out with a bang and are usually plot devices.

Moles are just too jovial and too damn country to die.

You need to get the thinly veiled racism sourcebook to really get the game going.

>>7757093
OI'M SO COUNTRY THA' OI CRAP TATERS.

>>7757068
He didn't actually defeat it, he just found a starving wolf.

>>7757043
Yes, that is the book with the wildcat I'm talking about. I didn't realise you meant standard enemies, in that case I'll grant foxes are the toughest. The wildcat seems to have been the strongest enemy antagonist so far, though, although I won't have read the more recent ones.

quizzicle:
without googling it, what does GUOSIM stand for?

>>7757126

Guerilla union of shrews in mossflower. easy

>>7757116
Actually, there was also that incredibly badass ferret assassin. Ferrets and stoats can actually pull out the awesome.

You're all forgetting about herons. Oh god the nightmares.

Birds are seriously fucking scary. Even the damn Sparrows.

>>7757157
The eagle is just like god mighty.

>>7757149
He was a weasel.

>>7757157
God King Bear fears no shitty heron. Bring it on.

I think I might try this, I has idea.

>>7757166

Yeah there was some huge ass eagle living on top of some mountain named King McGraw (I think). And Crows are like Zubats except in the forests.

>>7757102
ORCS ARE BLACK PEOPLE TOO

>>7757149
>>7757116
The BBEGs:

Brocktree: The most badass wildcat to have ever lived with so many vermin he could create miracles.
The Legend of Luke: Totally fucking crazy searat.
Martin the Warrior: A tyrannical stoat with delusions of grandeur
Mossflower: A crazy bitch of a wildcat
Outcast of Redwall: A sadistic and cunning ferret assassin, who was generally awesome
Mariel of Redwall: A crazy fucking searat with the best warcry ever ("THE BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS")
Bellmaker: An artic fox who tricks entire legions into thinking he killed a wolf.
Salamandastron: A weasel warlord who is pretty fucking cunning
Redwall: IT'S MOTHERFUCKING CLOONEY THE SCOURGE BITCHES
Mattimeo: Three BBEGs. The incredibly dickish Slagar the Cruel, the totally badass General Ironbeak or the brick-shittingly Lovecraftian Malkariss

I could go on forever.

Point is, in my opinion, Redwall has shit loads of memorable villains.

>>7757126

Guerrilla Union of Shrews in Mossflower.

Or sometimes not in Mossflower.

>>7757157
In Redwall, birds are basically the demons of the sky.

Stay. Away.

>>7757337

Unless they're the Sparrows.

I WOULD PLAY THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF THIS

>>7757309
The villains are the best part, really.

I would play a shrew because

LOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOGA
LOGALOGALOGALOG

>>7757403
The best parts are:
- The villains
- The deaths of the villains (they're always incredibly gory for childrens' books)
- That fucking food
- Moles

>>7757309

Fuck. I just nostalgia'd so hard I think I broke something.

I read everything I could get my hands on about Redwall, into the darkness of nine, ten, even fucking 10:30pm!

Being eight was awesome.

My Character.

Question: What is the Abbey of Redwall for. Are they religious or is literally just a place to eat shit loads of food.

Also are there towns, settlements apart from Redwall at all.

Fuck your wildcats and foxes, this is pure evil right here.

>>7757454
They aren't religious, really. There are some other towns.

>>7757403
I think all the roles are original (to an extent, "nothing is new under the sun" and all that)
And all the badger lords are badass (from Lord Roussou to Lady Cegga Rose Eyes)

One particular moment of pure awesome character death would have been that squirrel in Martin the Warrior who charged a fort single handed in suicide madness at night. In the morning he was found with a smile on his face and two score (about 40) dead vermins around his carcass.

>>7757454
The Abbey of Redwall was built to be a fortress and a bastion for everyone who wishes to live in peace, without being harassed by vermin that wander the forests.

The delicious fucking food is just the product of so many people of so many different tastes living there.

>>7757454

It's called an Abbey because it's supposed to be like a Castle but peaceful.

>>7757454

It's a place to bake and eat

>>7757448
Oh god, I remember being ten. I had recently got Mattimeo.

Finished it in a six hour sitting, fell asleep at two in the morning, had nightmares about Malkariss.

Was awesome, bro.

Hares and Otters are my favorite, they are like SAS and just crazy ww2 British troops in general. Long patrol was always my favorite just because I always loved hares.

>>7757454

Redwall are refuges from Loamhedge. They're an abbey who take care of others and generally live cool syles and keep a sacred sword. as for larger commhnities, Salamastradon wherever the GUOSIM are currently.

Also, if any of you cunts mention furries in this thread, I will castrate the living fuck out of you.

>>7757523

Fucking RedWall.

No tits, racial implications of evil.

FFFFFFFFFFurries.

holy shit. redwall on 4chan, you have blown my mind /tg/

mm, what was the catchphrase of that heron again?

I AM THE LAW....i swear it was something like that

Best use of Exotic Weapon Proficiency ever.

>>7757412

oh god shrews would have to have some sort of racial frenzy ability and a fearless trait.

>>7757523
>Also, if any of you cunts mention furries in this thread, I will castrate the living fuck out of you.

Please see >>7756936

>>7757551

Shrews should be stronger when next to each other, or in some sort of horde.

http://www.redwall.net/kitchen/

I found this. WHY AM I SO HUNGRY!!

>>7757551
I feel like most of the races in redwall had fearless traits, it was pretty ridiculous how brave everything was.

>>7757476
Badasses of note:

Martin: Nothing needs to be said here. He was especially awesome in his own book.
Matthias: Martin V2. This guy was awesome.
Finnbarr Galedeep: Crazy seaotter who killed the fox BBEG with his own wolf skull helmet.
Rakkety Tam: Highlander squirrel mercenary? Yes.
Taggerung: Crazy warrior mystic otter.
EVERY LOGALOG EVER.
EVERY BADGER EVER.

>>7757507

I just remember people shitting their pants that a preteen was reading a book thicker than his wrist

>>7757583

thing is shrews were fearless because they were a particularily brave people

they were just fucking crazy

>>7757589

Don't forget the chaps and chapesses of the Long Patrol, wot.

>>7757604

*werent fearless

>>7757589

You're forgetting that one Squirrel that managed to get bloodwrath from Martin the Warrior.

Fuck, can't recall the name.

I love Matthias, I used that name for everything for the longest time.

>>7757589
oh god taggerung, one of my favorites and one of the last ones I read

>>7757534 FFFFFFFFFFurries.

>>7757616
Either Rakkety Tam or Triss, I believe.

Those were the only remotely important squirrels ever.

>>7757589

Oh god, and how Lord Stonepaw died. (Old dude in Lord Brocktree):
Grabbed a load of rats and dived into a fathomless pool so to drown them all.

Ohh god.. what was the long patrols battle cry?

>>7757638

Wrong. It's Felldoh. Rakkety Tam and Triss were both title characters of their own books, how could they be in Martin the Warrior?

Also, how can you say those were the only important squirrels when like 75% of Marlfox was squirrels?

So can the Mouse Guard RPG be adapted to this?
You guys have convinced me to add this series to my list of things that must be read.

>>7757625

...i lolled but at least i regret it

>>7757616

Arven, you mean. The only warrior to lay down the sword and become the Abbot.

>>7757654

eulalia.

>>7757692

No, not fucking Arven. He's from Marlfox.

>>7757679
I think so. All you have to do is substitute Mouse Nature for whatever species you are, and refluff the setting and character creation.

>>7757710
By Martin the Warrior, I thought you meant the character and I thought you meant Arven/Triss/Tam as the individuals who were "possessed" by Martin.

>>7757693

Motherfucker yes

http://redwall.wikia.com/wiki/Eulalia

Redwall was so fucking hardcore

Any got a link for a mouseguard pdf download?

>>7757757

Ah. Oh well.

Also, you're all forgetting about Ranguvar from The Legend of Luke.

>>7757764

Oddly, I always pronounced it kind of like a yodel.

brb Borrowing every Redwall book from my library. So good girl.

>>7757765

>>>/rs/mouse+guard&from=ALL

All the 8.9Mb ones are legit.

Mouseguard is one of those RPG's that's worth getting the book. It's square, built like a tank, and has loads of big glossy images. The system itself is pretty simple.

Oh god I remember this, I think I cried when Rose died.

>>7757820
Checked 'em all. None of the links are valid anymore.

>>7757855

Ditto.

>>7757818
so good girl?

>High Rhulain (2005)
>Eulalia! (2007)
>Doomwyte (2008)

God damn. I'm like 3 books behind.

>>7757861

Alright; uploading to megaupload.

Yeah.. don't suppose anyone will put a new one up? Really wanna try and do it this tuesday

>>7757891
Thanks

>>7757864
>>7757861
I think I still have it on my harddrive.
Gimme a second so I can check.

>>7757891

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=D8PNO72I

>>7757891
You're a good Anon, sir.

>>7757910
Aw shit, I did delete it.
Thanks man, I appreciate it.

God, I remember reading these back before I knew what furries were. Before I knew what the INTERNET was.

Good times, man. Too bad my group would never touch a Redwall campaign.

You're all welcome. If you like it, buy the book. It's an awesome setting with pretty solid mechanics, and amazon.co.uk has it for a measly £12.

Fuck Mouseguard.

Iron Heroes.

Is there possibly a world map to be had?

>>7757985

For Redwall? Open any given book. It's right at the beginning.

>>7757972
Fuck Iron Heroes.

Ironclaw.

>>7757949
>Search Amazon.com for Mouse Guard RPG
>Get Rogue Trader instead
Huh, that's odd.

>>7757996
MOUSE TRADER

>>7757996
http://www.amazon.com/Mouse-Guard-Roleplaying-Game-Crane/dp/1932386882/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=book
s&qid=1264369790&sr=8-3

>>7757985
Each book comes with a map of the areas of importance.

>>7758007
Well, thanks man.
Now I'm going to start up a space vermin campaign.

IN THE GRIM DARK FUTURE OF REDWALL, THERE ARE ONLY DELICIOUS PASTRIES.

I used to have this poster-sized Mossflower map that came with a Redwall puzzle book. Crap, now I have to clean my room and look.

>>7757996
>>7757996
>>7757996
>>7757996
>>7757996
>>7757996
>>7757996


>RedwallHammer 40k
>Martin sits upon the golden throne
>The Heroes are the Primarchs

That one searat who was basically george from Of Mice and Men and ended up becoming a caretaker and friend to the Dibbuns was a bro and a half. Blaggart, I believe?

>>7758092

Oh hey, I have that puzzle book.

Current mod project lineup for the new DF release:

* Redwall
* Skaven
* Wasteland scavenger thing.

I expect to spend a fortnight on the food raws.

So, how do I convert everything to vermin without being furry?

>>7758092
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Redwall-Map-Riddler-Red-Fox/dp/0099256118

It's only £2. Get this and Mouse Guard, and you've got a campaign.

>>7758125

Follow books. Anyone who had a childhood will not mention furry. If they do, kick them out of house.

>>7758125
don't give them genitalia of any kind and don't make them anthropomorphic. they should basically look like bipedal rats in armor, not humans with fur and whiskers.

>>7758095
>Suffer not the Vermin

>>7758111
Oh yea, the pair of them, and he killed his officer who was going to harm the babies. Man I D'awwww at that.

Oh and is it possible to mix Redwall AND Mouse Guard?
Or would the fluff be too wonky.

SCONES FOR THE SCONE THRONE!

>>7758095
Planets die while the High Lords of Redwall bake pastries from the tithes of countless starsystems.

If Redwall was Terra, would Salamastradon be Mars since they forge stuff, like Martin's sword?

In a redwall dnd campaign would moles be like drow?

>>7758175
Elite power-armoured Badger soldiers form the spearhead of the Abberium in chapters of a thousand marines.

BITCH I WAS VOICED BY TIM CURRY. YOU KNOW YOU LOVED THAT SHIT

>>7758200

Moles are not evil.

>>7758196
Tech-hares babble back and forth to each other in Cockney slang no one else understands while they maintain the Imperium of Critters weaponry.

>>7758095

The Lord-God-Badger in his golden mountain throne!

>>7758250
Martin is the Emperor. The Badger Mountain takes the place of the Grey Knights sanctuary on the moon.

While I enjoy Redwall, this idea of combining 40K and Redwall is shit.

Stop it.

>>7758276

This, seriously. Not everything needs an injection of shitty late-ninties scifi.

In the Imperium of Critters 40k each book villain has their own Chaos Legion.

>>7758172

Mouse Guard is more low-key, but it would probably work. A lot less wars, though.

I was working on a Mouse Guard: 1229 setting which would have been set during the viking rats' raids on the Territories, specifically to turn the warfare up a little, but I got distracted by jobsearch. I'll likely write it up in a few months once I have a job. :(

>>7758276
>>7758287
Lighten up, we're just having fun now. We've already established that a straight-up Redwall RPG would be badass.

Obviously Redwall 40k is Noblebright, as no Primarch of Martin would ever dream of betraying his name.

So, from whence does evil come?

naughty rats?

>>7758324
Fleas. Vermin have notoriously poor hygiene.

Critters must remain vigilant and well-groomed.

>>7757888

I don't think I've read one of these books since the '90's. Last one I read was Marlfox, I think...just checked, that one was published in 1998, seems about right. I recall that it wasn't all that good.

If I go back and read the ones that have been published since then, am I in for wonderful nostalgia or horrible disappointment?

>>7758457

Marlfox was a dip in quality in the middle of the best phase of the series. The next two books after you stopped, Legend of Luke and Lord Brocktree, are imo the best books in the entire series.

>>7757057
>Moles don't die.

A mole dies in this. Several, actually. Also features an owl with clipped wings that goes vegetarian and lives in the Abbey, ignoring the tasty tasty mice. Because Redwall food is THAT DAMN AWESOME.

Also features a Log a Log who's a complete dick.

>>7758242
That cartoon was AWESOME

>>7758551

Is that a raven wearing a snake as a fucking hat

FUCKING AWESOME

>>7758551
Is that the same owl that went vegetarian after losing a bet with Matthias?

Red Wall is unrealistic. A Badger would fucking own EVERY SINGLE DAMN ANIMAL shown except for Owls.

>>7758602
which is why they pretty much always die under a massive press of lesser vermin...

thousand cuts and all that...

>>7757582

Lord Brocktree...

This is the book that made me want to fucking make a Redwall RPG.

Something about a Badger in armor with a greatsword.

dunno why though.

plus that fucking redwall kitchen sight is bookmarked forever.

Admit it /tg/, you cried your eyes out at the end of this.

Final stand ;_;

>>7758602
I've watched a documentry on the Honey Badger on National Geographic. It fucking went into a wild-dog den, ate the cubs, and the parents just stood there out of fear. It also ate fuckhuge snakes and caused a Tau to back off.

>>7758602

Uhm... that's exactly what happens. The only single creature to be able to stand equally against a Badger in the series was Ungatt Trunn, a "wildcat" that appears to be a SMALL TIGER by all the relevant art.

>>7758602
There's a Wolverine in one.

>>7758590

No, this is a different one. Doomwyte takes place countless years after Redwall/Mattemeo.

>A Badger would fucking own EVERY SINGLE DAMN ANIMAL shown

They fucking DO. Badger Lord + Bloodwrath + vermin horde = tide of blood and gore

>>7758631
>Something about a Badger in armor with a greatsword.

I presume it's much the same thing that makes the panzerbjorn so fucking awesome.

>>7758661
Yeah, I imagined him as more of an african-type wildcat, i.e. something really fucking big, like the size of a big dog.

Alternatively, he's meant to be from the North so maybe Bergmann's rule was taken to apply to traditional Scottish wildcats or something. There's a museum near where I live that has pictures of truly monstrous, but apparently genetically normal, wildcats, caused by interbreeding with other feline species.

and while we're at it, Ironclaw strip the fluff of some, use only redwall species and have a go, remember thinking it was pretty good for it.

>>7758662
Just on that note, Wolverine can bring down Elk.

>>7758111
so black people are only not evil if they're also retarded

nice, Jacques

I named my TWF Swordsage Dancing Badger in a game and everyone mocked me :(

Fuckers do not appreciate how fucking badass badgers are.

Okay /tg/, question.

In this book the cats living on the island are heavily implied to be domestic cats. They're ruled over by a family of wildcats, who bitch about how the cats have lost thier savagery. There's a throwaway mention of the cats having masters who looked after them, but vanished long ago.

...anyone else think this might be a reference to humans? And if so...is Redwall actually a post-apocalyptic setting?

MIND = BLOWN

>>7758730
It depends on the book. Earlier books make reference to humans clearly, and sometimes it comes up again. Are you going for the whole 'rats become intelligent post-nuclear war' vibe?

>>7758717
vermin aren't really blacks...

they're accents are usually cockney.

>>7758681

And I was fucking 24 at the time, yeah, I admit, redwall has kept up my intrest in trying to do something akin to it without the funny animal race/classism.

>>7758721
it was probably more the Dancing part than the Badger part

>>7758709
How's ironclaw's rules, by the way?

>>7758710
An elk??? really?!? and I thought Badgers were badass for taking on small groups of wolves.

>>7758730

The background has always been ambiguous on that point.

>>7757992
Slayers called, it wants its designs back.

>>7758741
Officially, early mentions of the human world have been retconned. Not sure what it means for the cats, though.

>>7758760

Been a long time since I played it, IIRC it's a tri-stat crossed with d20, not too bad really, just lots of fucking races which as said you strip down to only redwallers.

>>7758777

Was the purpose of the artist there, remember seeing it back when I was really into doing something like it, found artist's site, and yeah, they literally are Ironclaw versions of Naga and Lina.

>>7757992
CAN'T UNSEE.

Ironclaw had some really nice source images, such as a Samurai crane. Why did it go all durhur animu yiff?

>>7758820
The cover doesn't really mesh with the rest of the book, which is more or less straight medieval fantasy. Not sure why they used it.

>>7758834

They payed for the image, this is the most recent image for the book... and following is a copy of the char sheet.

And now for the char sheet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger
>Badgers are capable of fighting off much larger animals such as wolves, coyotes and bears.

>And Bears
>Bears

>>7758878
Not actually killing bears though. Wolverines actually kill Elk.

>>7758852
Shit. I lost all respect for the system not being a yiffest (which the first art I've seen convinced me it wasn't, but now 'dis..)

>>7758878

By rights, no wonder I will follow a badgersir or badgerlass, wot?

Redwall, THE most violent childrens'-book series ever written. So much nostalgia...

>>7758892
>North American Badgers (Taxidea taxus) and Coyotes (Canis latrans) have been seen hunting together, in a cooperative fashion.

>>7758661

Speaking of Ungatt Trunn, it's mentioned that he's Tsarmina's uncle, and that his father's some sort of badass named King Mortspear. Have they ever expanded on that, or for that matter, on his brother's adventures prior to the whole "dying of poison" thing?

>>7758903
no, that'd be Animorphs

>>7758878
Oh sweet jesus.
Its clear now, we need elephants.

>>7758913

No coyotes in Britain, else they'd be in the next book. Although there's no way a coyote wouldn't be a villain.

Armed with powerful jaws, sharp claws, and a thick hide, wolverines may defend kills against larger or more numerous predators. There is at least one published account of a 27-pound wolverine's attempt to steal a kill from a black bear (adult males weigh 400 to 500 pounds). Unfortunately for the mustelid, the bear won what was ultimately a fatal contest. Wolverines have been known to harass and attempt to intimidate wolves and cougars


I know it didn't beat the bear, but that's not a case of the Wolverine scaring it off or fighting it off. That is the case of a bear killing something, and then OH SHIT WOLVERINE.

>>7758895
It's a system about furries. It's going to be a yiffest, no matter how tasteful the art.

>>7758916
Wildcats aren't inherently bad rulers. Trunn was, and Tsarmina was, but they can be good, neutral or bad. Mortspear is probably something like a Badger Lord on his own territories, except I imagine he rules over vermin as well as the normal crowd and has to fight off more dangerous shit like wolves, bears and other snowscape predators.

>>7758925
I'm more excited about many animals starting to show first signs of growing intellect/planning skills. Maybe in a few million years when we've left the planet badgers, dolphins, and ravens will inherit the earth.

>>7758930
because that's the only time in the history of the world that a bear and wolverine have encountered each other

they are capable of scaring off bears

The male Wildcat in Mossflower was good.

>>7758895

System isn't, they just don't know how to put out a cover that isn't derivative (see old editions) or done so badly that it looks like a yiffest (see current). However the interior is usually good and more along Lord Fucking Brocktree. (See image)

*sighs*

>>7758951

Trunn wasn't a bad leader. He was an EVIL leader, yes, but iirc he was one of the less retarded villains.

>>7758930
Who'd win if a badger and a wolverine faced off, though?

>>7758953
>>Humanity colonizes the stars, leave Earth
>>Few million years later, mammals evolve intelligence and technology
>>Humans come back, exterminatus begins

>>7758983
Nah. If anything we'd play the mysterious precursor civilization role so common in sci-fi and gently guide earth's history.

>>7758973
looks more like a normal furry than Lord Brocktree to me

>>7758953
It's fairly clear that some animals have at least a limited (but still considerable) intelligence when it comes to planning and foresight. If you look at Killer Whales, particularly (I'd rank them above dolphins in the same family) and some of the behaviours of elephants.

It's not necessarily a size thing, either. The Portia spider is a very slow 'thinker' because its brain is tiny, but it has a great tactical planning ability. Look it up.

Brb, statting all the races for Warhammer Fantasy.

>>7758975
The only answer is: Whoever wins, we lose.

>>7758951

OK, but my question was if there are books about them.

>>7759016

Seconded, but if you put a badger face I guess it would work because hell, that's how the covers picture it.

>>7759014

You must think we're the Federation or something.

>In North America, coyotes sometimes eat badgers and vice versa, but the majority of their interactions seem to be mutual or neutral.

>Badgers have been known to become intoxicated with alcohol after eating rotting fruit.

>and vice versa

Holy fuck what.

>>7759055
Nope.

It would be awesome thats what it would be.
STFU ALL YOU FURRY ACCURSED

>>7759071

Rotting fruit can get high off of badgers?

>>7759080

Damn it.

>>7759028
Recent research shows that Dolphins are capable of teaching each other - and more importantly, their children - skills and knowledge they have learned. Their language is the most sophisticated outside of our own and they even divide into social groups, go on raids with other tribes to rape/steal their females and fight them for therights to the fish in the area,

Apes have shown many of these qualities, but at the moment no other animal matches the Dolphins.

I'm a meat eater through and through, but even I, given what I've recently learned, think we should protect and nuture dolphins.

>>7759041

Get it done, we want our damn redwall RPG.

>>7759071
>ferocious fighters
>getting drunk

So can we stat badgers as enormous fuzzy dwarves?

>>7759125

I'm a vegetarian, and I think we should kill them all so that they can't compete with us someday.

>>7759125
>rape is sign of intelligence

just what I'd expect from a dirty misogynistic neckbeard

>>7759071
Yup. Badgers eat wolves all the time too.

>>7759128
I kinda meant for the wargame, but if you want I'll do it for RP instead.

>>7759162

Either way, so much nostalgia rush here.

>>7759138
I'm not a misogynist. Fighting over resources and having a dynamic social structure with factions and everything is the faintest hint of the spark of civilization. Note not all dolphins do it - it seems to be a local practice in many seas, just like some human cultures do certain acts and others do not.

>>7759125
Killer Whales do that too, I'm afraid. Sans the rape. Whalesong, given that it constantly changes throughout a given life, has got to be the most complex language even considering our own.

>>7759138
Well, humans did it for fucking ages.

>>7759125
>I'm a meat eater through and through, but even I, given what I've recently learned, think we should protect and nuture dolphins.

Dolphins are child-killing rapists

>>7759187
I thought Dolphins were the only animals other than humans that are capable of passing learned skills to their young/others and develop local 'cultures'? for example, one Dolphin learned a certain dance when it was in captivity. Later when it was released they (and I don't remember how) managed to film the dolphin performing the dance on its own for no apparent reason (likely for amusement, the researchers say) and the dolphins around him tried to imitate him. A year later the dolphin's offsprings were seen doing the dance.

>>7759071
Badger Paladin. Standing tall, in a gleam of steel and metal - baring a great sword and shield, no helmet, standing upon a path in the mountain and looking down upon the legions of the wild vermin as they prepare to wreak havoc upon the people on the other side.

He issues a warning:

"This is my land. Step a foot on it, and your leg is forfeit. Put hand upon it, and your arm is mine. Breath the air within it, and I will remove your head. Choice is yours."

*nostalgia*

>>7759249
In theory every animal that gets smart enough will pass through such a phase.

It's called Mouse Guard and it fucking rocks.

Now I want a pet badger

>>7759298

but how would we do a Badger?

>>7759290

Dear lord, Badgers are awesom, as are hares, and otters.

>>7759274
Nope. Each clique of killer whales has different hunting patterns and different chosen prey. They set up situations to teach their young to hunt by for instance, stranding a seal on an iceflow and them showing how to make a wave to knock it off. They do this repeatedly to demonstrate and then the young one does it until it can do so successfully. They also 'play' with their young using carcasses.

Swarm intelligence might be of interest to you. Ants and huge flocks of birds are particular examples.

>>7759346
Thanks for the lesson. Swarm intelligence is one thing, but you'll have to admit that the moment an animal has something akin to an 'oral tradition' then it has been elevated above its lesser kin.

GET READY FOR
BADGER RPG
SUMMER 2010

>>7759421
I think manual dexterity is actually probably more important. I can't really look at these systems as anything other than potential, so it's difficult for me to elevate or dismiss one or the other.

When I was young, I always imagined the "VERMINZ R EVUL" bit to be a cultural thing localized to the area of Redwall.

Endless fun was had imagining a trading ship full of vermin from a city across the sea showing up and being all "WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS" at every single interaction in Redwall history.

>>7759480
In the grimdark future of redwall, there is only delicious caek.

>>7759480
How young?

>>7759476
With the exception of badgers being adorable, unlike dorfs.

>>7759476

Lols and gets an idea for an alternate world where we have Baj Fort instead of Dorf Fort.

>>7759490
So...

Dorfs that are surly and cute?

Someone photoshop the badger picture with a dorf/viking helmet and beard please.

>>7759484
Lllike, 8?

>>7759465
The lack of 'opposable thumbs' is problematic, but then perhaps we underestimate evolution. Even if whales and their ilk do not develop 'true' tools (they can probably still build rough terrain with their mouth) a (relatively) advanced society can still develop.

>>7759513
Consider a career in advertising or political analysis or something.

Wow, this takes me back to elementary/middle school. I first found out about creepy fucking furries on a Redwall fan site back in fifth grade. But, no, Redwall isn't furry, any more than Aesop or Brer Rabbit is furry.

If I remember right, waaaay back when (like, 2000/2001) there was a Redwall RPG floating around the intertubes. I think it used GURPS.

>>7759483

Man, I made that joke already.

Man, fuck Dragonborn. 4e should've made Badgerborn.

>>7759529
It's much more likely they'll go extinct first. Evolution takes a long, long time.

>>7759480
I remember that pissing me off as well.

Also, I wondered when humans would appear and how the Redwallians would react to them.

>>7759533
whaaaaaat

>>7759546

THIS!

Hmm maybe I should find someway to kick Dragonborn to the Curb and make Badgerborn.

>>7759546
Badgerborn of Moradin. Fuckall hueg swords lead by surly badger lords and ladies. Rough and tumble, best friends with dwarves, often with a coyote traveling companion/pet. Rough, tough, territorial... but will protect anything or anyone in that territory.

And cute.

You are now aware that every Redwall book is framed as a story told by a woodlander.

Of course the vermin are evil in the retellings. They LOST.

>>7759480

Man, that would be pretty cool.

"Yo, we're like from out there and we probably have some cool shit to trade you."

*arrows everywhere*

"OH GOD WRRRRRYYYYY.*

>>7759557

Recipe exchange.

I'd like some of that Strawberry Fizz. And Hotroot soup.

>>7759549
True enough, but I hope that eventually SOME species will break through. Even if there are no alien life we could one day discover another race that is more than a mere beast.

>>7759533
I don't think you have to be a particularly astute eight year-old to understand that Jacques' lesson in (whatever the one with the ferret raised in Redwall was called) was pretty much fucked. I was about 9 when I read it, and I remember my immediate reaction being, "The animals of Redwall are fucking racists."

>>7759578
>>Implying that a bunch of mice who bake pastries and make riddles could be evil.

>>7759569

Until you attempt to harm those in it's care, then shit just got real, with a greatsword.

>>7759589

The book would be Outcast of Redwall.

>>7759558
That's quite a smart call at age 8.

>>7759584

But they didn't have the Trout ala Redwall.

;_;

>>7759569
FUND THIS

>>7759589

It's an easy concept when you're young to grasp, such and such are definitely evil because they are born evil and such and such are good. If you bring in concepts like evil due to nurture, then it adds a whole new complexity.

>>7759593
Or a badgerborn druid. Who summons bears.

>>7759568
>>7759613

Fuck it, this is what I'm doing, have to muck around a bit, but damn if a Badgerborn Barbarian wouldn't just be all RAEG! when someone slaps the halfling.

>>7759591
Nnno, actually, implying that the winners of any conflict will villainize the losers and that "good" and "evil" are usually kind of arbitrary.

Lord Brocktree told from Trunn's perspective would be glorious and you all know it. Dude was basically Alexander the Great.

>>7759618
And rides dire badgers. And protects badgerkind EVERYWHERE.

>>7759589
Are you both American? Maybe it's just more of an issue there. I'm not sure I even knew what a racist was at age 8.

>>7759589
This.

The badgerlady in the cartoon was fuckwin

Badger stats - +2 Strength/+2 Constitution?

At age 8 I didn't pick up on it. Really I don't see it as racist but more classist. And he seems to have the Tolkien Orc problem, sure there are good vermin, but they just aren't seen too often due to the Vermin being of "Mordor".

>>7759658

Constance will always be kickass, with only Brocktree above her.

>Road accidents continue to be the largest cause of death in badgers. Measures, such as underpasses and fencing, are currently available to help avoided this problem, although new measures continue to be developed. The suitability and feasibility of these obviously needs to be considered at each site.

>Survive bears
>Get run over

>>7759631
Oh my fuck, yes. Sailing around the world amassing a horde and having bitchfights with his brother.

Islands and colonies of squirrels and shit living peacefully under Blue Horde rule might be neat too.

>>7759666
Did you know that a badger will attack tall oponents by going for the groin?

That's right. It's better to be closer to the ground when facing a badger, because it will leap for the crotch and castrate you with its teeth.

Badgers are fucking scary.

>>7759628
Well, current d20 badgers basically have UNENDING RAGE. Seriously, look at them, they have a racial rage ability that can't end until their enemies are dead. They're perfect barbarians.

>>7759637
I wrote the post you're referring to, and, yes, I'm an American.

Part of it, I'm sure, is that schools here tend to emphasize various multicultural lessons pretty early, and the idea of being "naturally" anything tends to be looked down upon these days.

I remember that my reaction to Outcast of Redwall was that the ferret was probably "evil" because everyone in Redwall expected him to be evil, and thus treated him like shit.

Badgerborn

Racial traits

Average Height: 6´ 2˝–6´ 8˝
Average Weight: 220–320 lb.
Ability Scores: +2 Strength, +2 Constitution
Size: Medium
Speed: 6 squares
Vision: Low-light
Languages: Common, Salamand
Skill Bonuses: +2 History, +2 Intimidate

Bloodfury: When you’re bloodied, you gain a +1
racial bonus to attack rolls.

Warrior’s Surge: You can use warrior’s surge as an encounter power.

>>7759751
You could make them taller or shorter without making much difference. Badgers are kinda small animals, but they give off a fuckall huge personality, and are built like tanks.

>>7759783

whoops, yeah should be more along the lines of 4´9˝–5´4˝

>>7759708
Gnaw Groin
Encounter
Standard Action Range: Melee
Target: One creature
Attack: Dexterity+3 VS Reflex

Hit: The target's groin is torn and utterly ravaged
The target begins to lose one Healing Surge per a round until it uses a healing surge. If the target would lose a healing surge when it has none it drops to -1 HP and goes unconcious. If the target would lose a Healing surge when it is unconcious it dies from bloodloss and shock.

Regardless of the target's survival or death, the victim's groin has been destroy forever and may not be recovered by any means(Outside of fluff, all this means is that the target can never be attacked by this attack again as it has no groin to speak of)

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>>7759813

Gnaw Groin (Badgerborn racial)

you can use Gnaw groin as an encounter power.

Actually looking at it, if done right could redo some of the 4e stuff for Redwall too. *thinks* maybe after I finish up campaign world 1.

>>7759813

Gnaw Groin does not affect creatures that are sexless, or do not possess a groin. It also does not affect creature whose groin has been removed by other means.

>>7759890

A target loses 2 healing surges per round if it has two sets of genitalia.

>>7759900
Badgerborn: the bane of krogans

>>7759890

In my game world

Army Leader: ok we have to attack this point.
*points to area along border of Salamand*
Tactician: all right, Eunuch Squad form up!

>>7759751
Nice! I'd prefer a unique encounter power though (and a more serious one than groin' gnawin' if this was used for an actually serious game)

>>7759917
Nah. Badgers have no problems with Brogans.

>>7759937
4 testicles means they can DESTROY THEM

>>7759921

The greatest sacrifice are those who volunteer to become eunuchs so they may be immune to the Badgerborn's devastating groin targeting powers. Some die in the process, but those that survive are revered as heroes and saviors of their kind.

>>7759931
yeah, gnaw groin isn't serious, but warrior surge is closer to the Badgers we like here.

was thinking of something that would go better as a racial feats)

>>7759954
So, they're Grey Wardens?

>>7759946
Oh, I am not doubting that. But Badgerborn would have little trouble with the Brogan. Sure, they might beat the shit out of each other, but after all was said and done, they'd go and get drunk.

>>7758903
I dunno, Animorphs was pretty grimdark.

>>7759954
The Badgerborn have never been defeated because, for some reason, they always seem to outnumber the opposition...

>>7759968

I almost put that there too, but I resisted the urge at the last moment.

>>7760005

They seem to follow the Badger Lords, who legends say are ancient woodland spirits bound to mortal form.

>>7760020

When a Badger Lord is found, many gather around and march out in organized force, creating what many call...a Long Patrol.

>>7760033

A long patrol made of Badgeborn, Elves, Dorfs, and Humans?

Your nation is fuuuuuuuuuuucked.

>>7760033
http://instantrimshot.com/

>>7760033
The Honey Badger clan is the most numereous. Small, stocky, and stout they are masters of deceit, ambush, and the brewing of alcohol.

>>7760100

Dear lord, even the Dragonborn in my world give Badgerborn a wide berth... and these were people who originally captured dragons so they could alchemically mindrape them to ritually make more dragonborn from dragon eggs.

Are we auto-saging?

>>7760033
The badgerborn are not nice people. They might be good, they will stop crime, protect the innocent, guard the city, and punish evil. But they aren't nice people.

hmmm, should we just go the 4e route and stat the rest, was thinking of making Hares more like Elves, but without the faggotry wot.

>>7760174
Hares replacing Elves.

I'm ok with this, beacsue, really, what's the difference in the long run? Big ears, small, sly, stealthy?

>>7760190

But what of the other races?

would mice be halflings or humans, and we all know dorfs would have to be Moleloik.

>>7760224
Humans as otters?

>>7760240

Should we just make a seperate redwall 4e thread?

>>7760254
When ya do, link it. :)

>>7760399

linky.