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  • File : 1263398987.jpg-(89 KB, 670x724, dwarf_bc89b55471c2683be4d2713a5f322aa3ce(...).jpg)
    89 KB Dwarf dystopia Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:09 No.7571706  
    What happens to a dwarf mine that's all mined out? When the halls are empty, when you've dug too deep and all you find is more rock?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:11 No.7571732
    You turn to building massive world ending war machines. If you haven't already, that is.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:13 No.7571752
    >too deep

    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:14 No.7571756
    In theory, dwarves will continue to dig deeper into the earth until they awaken forgotten horrors from the foundations of the world. If they defeat the first one they awaken, things just get scarier further down.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:14 No.7571766
    New version of Dorf Fortress is going to bump it up to hundreds of underground layers, isn't it?
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)11:16 No.7571780
    When all the glittering metals have rusted to dust, and all the grand halls have collapsed into rubble?

    Dig Deep, my sons, Dig Deep. For in the heart of the earth lies your dwarven destiny.

    When all hearty ale has been drank, leaving not but thin water, When all the mountains have worn down to smooth hills?

    Dig Deep, my sons, Dig Deep. For in the heart of the earth lies your dwarven doom.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:16 No.7571785
    all dwarves will die before they ever dig too deep.

    It's like trying to watch all the porn in the world without skipping through any of the videos.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:18 No.7571804
    That's... beautiful. Did you just write that?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:18 No.7571805
    So lets build a giant canon with large sphere reserves that shoots out Dwarves in response to a giant glass wall linked to traps that pour goblins into view.

    It'll be like a fortress that jerks off and spews dwarves to goblin porn.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:19 No.7571816

    Potentially 50-200 or so, yes.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:20 No.7571824
    They can get "too deep" by making a concentrated effort, but there's so much damn crap to dig between the surface and 'too deep' that only the most long running Fort would dig up and use all that crap
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:22 No.7571841
    rock crafts motherfucker do you speak it
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)11:22 No.7571844
    When the last smith's hearth is but cold ash, When the great kings beards are thin and grey?

    Dig Deep, my sons, Dig Deep. For in the heart of the earth lies your dwarven destiny.

    When the last axe chips, and the last hammer cracks, felling the last great foe?

    Dig Deep, my sons, Dig Deep. For in the heart of the earth lies your dwarven doom.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:22 No.7571849
    They'd run out of oxygen before they hit anything serious anyway.
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)11:24 No.7571867
    Yeah. Had this thought about what the dwarves would do, come the end of the last Great Age. I figure it's part of greater Dwarven Lullaby about their last journey into the depths of the earth. Never to return to the surface.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:25 No.7571873
    Simple. Go to a glacier and put every dorf into cryogenic sleep while the world changes. Plate tectonics and the forces of nature will restore the earth and redistribute the minerals after many millenia, making it ripe for plundering again.

    Strike the earth in the far future!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:28 No.7571907
    Damn, man... damn.
    I've got goosebumps, and not just because it's cold in here (although it is).

    Write more.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:33 No.7571944
    When the earth has yielded all of its fruits to the bearded conquerors, they will turn their eyes skyward. In great stone ships propelled by Tower Cap Rocket Fuel the plunderers will ascend to the heavens to seek the next great fortune. Many of these crafts will crash or explode, drift aimlessly or find uninhabitable wastes, but some will disgorge a cargo of seven intrepid explorers onto a planet not so unlike their homeworld. Then all of creation will tremble, for theirs are the picks that have struck the heavens!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:34 No.7571949
    dwarfs breathe rock, thats scientific proven.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:37 No.7571967
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    And if there aren't any? If your precious unobtainium prisons are no more real than the legends we tell to children over the furnace? Will we pay our laborers with stone? Will we subsist on trading poorly crafted trinkets like the base elf? Will we all be dirt farmers like the odious humans? Will we live as parasites on other settlements like goblins and kobolds?

    No sir. None of those are any way for a dwarf to live. This isn't a mine, it's a hole in the ground, and YOU are to blame for leading us here!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:38 No.7571979
    Dug too greedily and too deep.
    Keep digging.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:39 No.7571987
    Dwarves are Necrons?
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)11:39 No.7571994
    Man, that would be amazing. Think of it:
    The end times are near. The stars are beginning to align. The great races are preparing for the end. Elves are entering a final sleep. Humans are casting out for gods to save them.
    And the Dwarves? They do what they have been preparing for their whole racial life. From the dawn of the dwarven kind, all dwarves have been preparing. All the mining, all the smithing, all the battles, it's all been to to prepare.
    Because soon the Stars will be Right. And the horrors from the Forgotten Age will wake. Their very nature will rend this world, and usher in a new one, alien to all that currently exists.
    Expect first they have to get by the dwarves. The entire race, digging deep, to destroy these forgotten titans, before they wake.
    So Cthulhu will wake. And the first thing he'll see is an army of angry dwarves, ready to smash his balls with hammers.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:41 No.7572002
    the mine gets overrun by monsters and then they all just wait around for some adventurers to stumble through.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:43 No.7572021
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:44 No.7572026
    >And the first thing he'll see is an army of angry dwarves, ready to smash his balls with hammers.

    I am running the fuck out of this campaign first chance I get.
    'You see the mighty elder beasts rising from the sea and hear a cry from behind you, as you turn, you see hundreds upon thousands of Dwarves charging down from the mountains, billions of them, charging for the beaches.
    Their king leaps at an elder creature with a dwarven battle cry as it takes the first step onto the beaches.'
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:45 No.7572036
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:47 No.7572051
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    I don't follow. The elder things will not rise from the earth, but from beneath the sea as its gentle erosion wears down their prisons.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:52 No.7572100
    The elder things will not rise from the sea, but from beneath the earth as its gentle dorfs wear down their prisons.
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)11:52 No.7572104
    Right, That's how it's supposed to work. Except the dwarves know that's what's going to happen. So they build tunnels down there first. Dwarves are the immune system of the Earth itself against the elder things.
    Think about it. You're a sleeping eldritch horror, expecting to wake up in the next eon or so from a gentle splashing of sea water as your cage fail. When all the sudden one of the walls of your prison is breached and you have an army trying to bash the closest thing you have to reproductive bit with adamantine hammers.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:53 No.7572108
    No... you misunderstand...

    The dwarves are tunnelling.

    The Horrors are fleeing the systematic and calculated undermining and collapse of their ancient tomb-cities.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:54 No.7572117
    The ones under the Earth were all dug out and killed by Dorfs. Only the ones under the ocean were safe from Dorfy doom.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)11:55 No.7572127
    Only one of them is under the sea...
    Under the sea...
    Under the sea!
    Darling, it's better
    Where things are wetter,
    Take it from me!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:00 No.7572165
    And then the Dorfs invented submarines.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:02 No.7572193
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    Sounds a little too masturbatory to me. If I wanted to play a pompous jackhole who's always right and is clearly better than all other races, why wouldn't I be an elf instead?
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)12:02 No.7572198
    Considering there is supposedly around 25 billion ounces of gold dissolved in the ocean water? I'd say eventually dwarves would get to trying to mine the ocean. That's not counting the metals that would be found under the sea floor.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:14 No.7572305
    Because then you'd be a beautiful pompous jackhole who's always right and is clearly better than all other races.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:19 No.7572347
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    Dwarves: just like elves, only not quite as pretty!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:20 No.7572350
    When there's no more adamantium, dwarves will simply open portals to the elemental plane of earth.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:23 No.7572374
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    >just like elves

    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:24 No.7572385

    the reason dwarves are so proud of their giant beards is because of the minute quantity of gold inside the hairs.

    in the event of a crisis, the dwarves will shave themselves and extract the gold in a sombre ritual.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:25 No.7572403
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    >mine the ocean
    >by which he meant the water itself, not the sea floor

    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:25 No.7572409
    What happens when the dwarves dig to the heart of the world? do they reach for the stars?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:26 No.7572413
    Yeah pretty much. Dwarves and elves are both equally shitty races.

    Humans fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:28 No.7572438

    Yup. There are some magic items from AD&D related directly to that. They had a giant engine powered by creation (literally, making things causes the engine to generate power) that propelled an entire mountain through space. They would work and work mining out the mountain and making shit out of the stone as it flew around through space, until they mined it all out and had to relocate to a new mountain to blast off in.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:31 No.7572462
    Dem Dorfs
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:34 No.7572491
    >freeze the ocean
    >then mine it
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:36 No.7572511
    Hadn't they ever heard of recycling?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:36 No.7572514
    >tinker all the volcanoes of the world to erupt simultaneously causing a new ice age just to mine the oceans.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:38 No.7572544
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:40 No.7572559
    Wouldn't the gold separate from the water as it freezes ?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:42 No.7572588
    Ancient dwarven religious texts often speak of a terrible event known as Ragnarock. The texts equate to the elvish writings on the Homocaust or our own doomsday predictions such as Armageddon. References to the event often begin with the phrase, "And when the earth yielded no more the gems and metals of her bosom." Research into the cause of this event has led us to conclude that the dwarves believe Ragnarock happens when they have mined out the entire world. Such a notion puts our methods of strip mining and deforestation to shame.
    Once the earth is rendered barren, the next phase of Ragnarock is that all dwarves eventually fall to madness. They gather all of their valuables and gather deep underground, the entire race converging on a single massive chamber. There they begin an orgy of slaughter wherein each dwarf attempts to kill every other dwarf of his/her gender. After many days of killing only two dwarves remain. These two become a new Adam-dwarf and Eve-dwarf to completely rebuild the race. The absolute carnage from the genocide seeps throughout the earth due to the network of tunnels. As the race is reconstructed, the remains of the old dwarves and their valuables come to rest all over the world and merge to form new mineral deposits. Thus the race is born anew and the earth made ready once again for the striking picks of the bearded ones. Of course all of these legends are as preposterous as the talk of an outbreak of the Kobold flu.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:43 No.7572596
    No, solid particles do not work that way. The gold dust/whatever would be "trapped" inside the ice.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:45 No.7572618
    yeah, it's Ragnarok
    >> Kai 01/13/10(Wed)12:45 No.7572622
    Indeed. They'd have to boil the oceans and mine the salty deposits left behind.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:46 No.7572628
    Then how do a dorf mine it ?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:46 No.7572629

    AD&D actually had the best magic items I know of. Theyre either stupidly awesome, hilariously useless, or so very very evil. I'll cite one of each.

    The Mechanism of Mad Lum: Giant machine with 100 levers and a booth. Stand inside the booth, pull a lever, get effect. One effect is that the affected player gets Finger of Death twice per day with no saving throw. Another gives the player a touch attack that turns the targets bones to jelly. One of them even causes the player to become a minor fiend or celestial at which point they are the servants of major fiend or celestial and to quote the description "at which point they might as well roll a new character"

    Potion of Magic Peas. If you dump this potion onto a table it makes a plate of peas that look incredibly delicious. If you try to eat them they roll away. Also if you drink the potion itself you become sickened for a few days or so.

    Golden Needle. Looks like a needle of mending. When you try to use it it shoots into your hand and kills you in two turns unless removed with a break curse or wish spell.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:46 No.7572633
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:47 No.7572641
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:49 No.7572655
    that's... terrible :|
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:50 No.7572666
    Break off chunks of ice with gold inside, melt it, sieve the gold.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)12:53 No.7572687
    Satan plays DF?
    Oh, who am I kidding.
    He's inspired the last few updates.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)13:04 No.7572795
    Do even dorfs have enough patience to sieve out microparticles of gold and then eventually melt it together to form like a gold ring or something.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)13:05 No.7572810
    Magma powered machines would do it for them.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)13:24 No.7573042
    Mine ice, then melt it and extract gold.
    Suddenly... ICE WORMS
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)13:30 No.7573115
    And you thought jewelers took forever BEFORE
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)13:34 No.7573175
    Simple: they dig down to the mantle itself and start processing that into ore.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)13:37 No.7573223
    We're talking about dorfs and gold here.
    Of course they'll have the patience.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)15:34 No.7574626
    Prisons eroding? Drop obsidian on them with lava/water mixers.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/10(Wed)16:41 No.7575398
    I second that. Write more. Start a new thread if you have to.
    Write more!

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