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  • File : 1262904318.jpg-(122 KB, 525x525, Sandwich am I cute now by ribbonfag.jpg)
    122 KB Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)17:45 No.7477889  
    Hey /tg/, I remember someone posting stats for Sandwich (/tg/'s anti-Drizzt drow paladin). Anyone have them?

    Also, general Sandwich Stoutaxe thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:07 No.7478192
         File1262905660.jpg-(211 KB, 600x738, Sandwich with mug.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:08 No.7478211
    Just make a drow Chaladin. It's not that hard.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:09 No.7478215
         File1262905763.jpg-(81 KB, 687x1022, Sandwich the drow paladin.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:09 No.7478217
    Yeah man, because making every race dwarves is how /tg/ does thing! /tg/ get's shit done, as in the things that they get done are SHIT.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:12 No.7478244

    Well aren't you bitter. Did someone shit in your shoes today?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:12 No.7478245
    I'm surprised that Sandwich never got sexualised like most /tg/ characters do.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:14 No.7478272
    rolled 72 = 72

    To be fair, all the HURPADERP DORFS DORFS DORFS does get a little old.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:14 No.7478280
    Well, that /would/ go pretty much against the entire point of the character. It would at least detract from the anti-Drizzt.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:15 No.7478289
    If you make a seriously cool elf I'll get behind that too.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:16 No.7478299
    Seriously, you can make an interesting drow without making them into another race that already exist.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:16 No.7478308

    There's been a few tries, but none of it caught on, considering Dorf Sex is rather boring compared to kinky drow shit.

    ...Maybe I should request a Drawfag draw a picture of her getting it on with an Anvil.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:18 No.7478332
    That isn't the point though. The point is to be extremely butthurt over all things related to Drizzt.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:19 No.7478341
         File1262906342.jpg-(251 KB, 765x990, Sandwich 2 by cei.jpg)
    251 KB
    Have this instead.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:19 No.7478344

    I'd certainly approve of this.

    Also, seconding >>7478272. Dorfaboos are just as bad as Elfaboos. Just because /tg/ has more of the former than the latter doesn't make them any less tiring.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:20 No.7478356
    Needs some more rape.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:20 No.7478361
         File1262906427.gif-(28 KB, 441x326, anvil_terms.gif)
    28 KB
    I could see that...

    Just think of it, her all hot and sweaty, grinding her crotch against the horn of the anvil, anally penetrating herself with a hammer-handle...
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:20 No.7478366
    /r/ the sandwich story :D
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:21 No.7478370
    The best race is warforged anyway.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:21 No.7478371
         File1262906464.jpg-(76 KB, 680x431, Dwelf_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg)
    76 KB
    Related, vaguely.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:21 No.7478382
    rolled 21 = 21

    If /tg/ wasn't full of elf hating fags I'd give it a go. But if the race isn't Grimaxe McGrim with a huge gut and a disgusting neckbeard it's not /tg/ related apparently.

    Go to 1d4chan.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:22 No.7478385

    Y'know, if there ARE any drawfags here...
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:22 No.7478393
    >all dwarves are the same
    >all elves are the same

    Seriously you guys are lame, each individual is different, it's not some kind of shared conscious.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:23 No.7478405
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:24 No.7478418
    Fucking this.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:24 No.7478421
    I was just thinking that.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:24 No.7478425
         File1262906689.jpg-(20 KB, 400x569, Everyone is Different.jpg)
    20 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:25 No.7478428
    If it's good I'll certainly get behind it, grim or not. I know I'm not the only one either.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:25 No.7478435

    I'm ok with cool elves, it's just that most are dull tree hugging faggots.

    Find me an elf that's like a tree hugging version of Rambo, and I'll start reconsidering my love of dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:26 No.7478448
         File1262906797.jpg-(261 KB, 791x1051, Elf Commando.jpg)
    261 KB
    How's this suit you?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:27 No.7478454

    Just like most Dwarves are dull rock-kissing faggots.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:27 No.7478455
    Warhammer Fantasy Wood Elf Waywatchers.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:27 No.7478461
    >Implying drow are the same race as elves.
    >Implying that there can't be a tree hugging dwarf
    >Implying that there can't be a manly elf.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:28 No.7478468
    I wish everyone around here was like you.
    >> helpful /co/mrade 01/07/10(Thu)18:28 No.7478469
         File1262906895.jpg-(266 KB, 1175x1226, drowchanandpallydude.jpg)
    266 KB
    rolled 52 = 52

    You know, this just reminded me of the Drowchan/Pallydude writefaggotry that in some way spawned from this. Anybody know what happened to the writefag who did that? Did he disappear?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:29 No.7478485
         File1262906983.jpg-(396 KB, 1228x1345, Sikieiki Flowers Monochrome.jpg)
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    As >>7478211 points out, a drow Wisdom/Charisma-based paladin should not be difficult to create in the slightest. If you could name a level (my specialty is paragon-tier characters, though a heroic- or epic-tier character can do as well) and any specific parameters that must be fulfilled (choice of weapon, dumped ability score, etc.), I would be willing to develop a build snapshot at the requested level as an exercise.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:30 No.7478500
    Meanwhile you just reminded me of that amazing drawfag who occasionally stops by.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:30 No.7478511
    That wacky Tohu, he sure does love dem Tohu's.
    >> helpful /co/mrade 01/07/10(Thu)18:31 No.7478522
    rolled 72 = 72

    Oh yeah, I wonder where he went as well...
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:37 No.7478592
    she's cute, yep
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:43 No.7478690
    No, too much shirt.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:43 No.7478695

    Aside from the hammer part, this sounds relevant to my interests.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:44 No.7478710
    Second. Now to wait for a drawthread.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:50 No.7478817

    in the interest of a balanced debate all the HURPADERP ANIMU ANIMU ANTHRO gets old aswell
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:53 No.7478879
    rolled 65 = 65

    Not this shit again. You do realize that 4chan was made to discuss weeaboo crap in the first place don't you?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)18:58 No.7478930
    This is a traditional games here, and the bulk of the inspiration behind the bulk of the games discussed are western elements.

    That and its fun to hate moon people for all of the terrible shit that comes out of their animation studios and toy factories.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:04 No.7479005
    rolled 96 = 96

    Fair enough, and I won't disagree. I just think it's hilarious so many people complain about weeaboos on what is arguably a weeaboo website.

    I mean there's always the WOTC boards or other horrendous shit if you don't like it.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:05 No.7479008
         File1262909101.jpg-(60 KB, 792x879, sand.jpg)
    60 KB
    I tried something...
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:08 No.7479061
    He was probably a troll anyways.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:19 No.7479205
         File1262909949.png-(12 KB, 468x491, Laaaaaaydee.png)
    12 KB
    You're better than me, and that's all that matters. Probably going to have to find some /s/ material to use for reference eventually.

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:19 No.7479214

    thats a negaitive, pretty much everywhere else in the net has manga-itis, i like my bastions of gar thankyouverymuch
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:22 No.7479246

    Make her a Drow, and that's rather nice...
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:23 No.7479257
    now see that just makes me sad and mad at the same time. nobody remembers /b/ day anymore

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:27 No.7479311
         File1262910432.jpg-(178 KB, 960x1010, 1245532896608.jpg)
    178 KB
    I personally would like to see more Dorf stuff. But that's just me.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:34 No.7479443
    I like underground things. I also like the letter D. So I like Drow and Dwarves. Never play them as their stereotypes, though.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:38 No.7479519

    Continue, please.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:45 No.7479616
    Oh hell yes. Keep going!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)19:47 No.7479656
         File1262911647.jpg-(15 KB, 150x150, havyprrk.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)20:23 No.7480136
    That was me.

    ====== Created Using Wizards of the Coast D&D Character Builder ======
    Sandwich Stoutaxe, level 1
    Drow, Paladin
    Build: Virtuous Paladin
    Darkfire: Darkfire Charisma
    Birth - Among Another Race: Among Another Race (Dwarf)
    Background: Birth - Among Another Race (Among Another Race (Dwarf))

    Str 12, Con 12, Dex 10, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 18.

    Str 12, Con 12, Dex 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 16.

    AC: 20 Fort: 12 Reflex: 13 Will: 15
    HP: 27 Surges: 11 Surge Value: 6

    Religion +5, History +5, Endurance +4, Heal +8

    Acrobatics -4, Arcana, Bluff +4, Diplomacy +4, Dungeoneering +3, Insight +3, Intimidate +6, Nature +3, Perception +3, Stealth -2, Streetwise +4, Thievery -4, Athletics -1

    Level 1: Power of Earth

    Lay on Hands: Lay on Hands
    Paladin at-will 1: Ardent Strike
    Paladin at-will 1: Bolstering Strike
    Paladin encounter 1: Valorous Smite
    Paladin daily 1: On Pain of Death

    Plate Armor, Adventurer's Kit, Longsword, Heavy Shield
    ====== Copy to Clipboard and Press the Import Button on the Summary Tab ======
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)20:31 No.7480233
         File1262914274.jpg-(68 KB, 789x1075, sand2.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)20:32 No.7480255
    just a correction, the writefaggotry appeared first then the image. Though the artist must admit to not reading too much into the writefaggotry at the time.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)20:35 No.7480285
    well, I laughed
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)20:36 No.7480306
    what was the name of this again?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:12 No.7480811
    more sandwich porn ?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:15 No.7480855

    Needs more penetration with Anvil horns.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:17 No.7480893
         File1262917077.jpg-(37 KB, 600x414, Barril'spokerface.jpg)
    37 KB

    Oh C-No, no comment I'm not going to derail a perfectly good image dump thread over a fictional character.

    Sadly this is the only drow pic I have.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:28 No.7481004
         File1262917692.jpg-(124 KB, 320x493, Gimli_in_a_Thong.jpg)
    124 KB

    I think a dwarf did.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:29 No.7481017
         File1262917785.jpg-(146 KB, 1260x900, 1259254795088.jpg)
    146 KB

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:36 No.7481103
         File1262918204.jpg-(137 KB, 1182x800, sandwich 1258930804516.jpg)
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    I can't tell what that's supposed to be at her crotch. The anvil? Some dorf's face?

    Still an awesome pic though. :)
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)21:42 No.7481176

    I'm actually writing more of it. Or, technically, rewriting it, so it's more or less one long story as opposed to a bunch of disjointed scenes.

    Shit will definitely be too long to post here in its entirety. I will probably put it on Deviantart or some other faggy site. /tg/ will be notified and provided with excerpts, however.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)22:01 No.7481461

    Any chance we could have these given more detail?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)22:02 No.7481476
    That implies you're the artist. Any chance you'll be drawfagging for us again? You're one of my favorites.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)22:05 No.7481542
    I think it's a dorf face but it's hard to be sure.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)22:07 No.7481570
    Some dorf's face.
    >> The Young /co/mp/a/triot 01/07/10(Thu)22:09 No.7481601
    What's that, Sandwich? "Smite them all?" Good idea!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)22:11 No.7481634
    Not until I reinstall photoshop or a drawfag comes doing that for me. I tried to add tone on the second and just ended up messing with the dorf's face.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:37 No.7482333

    Hurry and reinstall Photoshop, then, you do some pretty good work.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:41 No.7482375
    Wait I'm sorry. Who's Sandwhich? Can I get some details on her?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:43 No.7482393
    Sandwich is a drow baby raised by a dwarf when the dwarf was pissed that the basket he lifted from some dead drow contained a drow baby instead of a sandwich.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:44 No.7482415



    And next time, read the thread before asking.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:45 No.7482420

    And how is she the Anti-Drizzt?

    Does she have a sunny disposition and hate cats or something?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:47 No.7482437
    She's the anti-Drizzt because she's a drow chick? I have no fucking idea.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:48 No.7482446
    She acts with loyalty, dedication, steadfastness, ethic - basically everything Drow lack, but also isn't a fucking godmode fuckshit like Drizzt.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:49 No.7482454

    She's cheerful, nice, faithful and pretty much considers herself a dorf more than a Drow.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:49 No.7482460
    She's a Paladin of Beardbeard, right?
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)01:49 No.7482468
    It was late, almost midway through First Night-Watch, but Sandy continued to work doggedly at the anvil, her violet-gray forehead shiny with exertion. The flyweel before her had become her nemesis, the most hated enemy of her life. Twice already her father had inspected her work, pointed out the unevenness, predicted the inevitable and shameful failure of the wheel under stress. Peening-hammer in hand, she struck at its surface again and again, maintaining that body-rhythm that would produce a consistent pattern. Tap-tap, slam; tap-tap, slam. It was a slow, monotonous process; the greatest difficulty in the job was staying focused on the work, for hours at a time, lest the results be...sloppy.

    Sandy found herself very poor at staying focused.

    The face of Braega kept coming to mind, all the cruel things she and her friends would whisper across the room, just loud enough for Sandy to hear. Long-ears. Dark-filth. Spider-kisser. Table-top.

    Tap ta-KLANG. Sandy's hammer skipped off the rim of the flywheel as she clamped her lips together, shoulders shaking slightly, willing herself not to tear up, not to show weakness. The rest, she had grown used to over the years. It was easier to ignore; she wasn't really a...one of those. Not really.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:50 No.7482472
    From this point on. I will always imagine a dwarf as sounding like Heavy Weapons Guy.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)01:50 No.7482477
    But as she and the girl-children around her had grown toward adulthood, Braega and the rest had...developed. Pudgy, girlish bodies had grown womanly, sprouting hips and breasts, causing the boys to trip and stammer. But Sandy had just grown...tall. Inches taller than any of the boys, and slender as a brush-bristle. No matter how tightly she bound her bodice around her waist, she could scarcely emphasise her hips, the meager handfuls of her breasts, the way that the others did so effortlessly. It wasn't fair...and she was the only one! Not even Auntie Vera could know what this was like.

    She sniffed, shook her head, and wiped her nose on her rolled-up sleeve. Muttering, she centered the flywheel back on the anvil, and went back to work. All those boys were just stupid anyway, always talking about "axes versus hammers," and throwing dice, and seeing which could drink himself stupider, the fastest. She began her hammering again, brows furrowed, concentrating on the motions of her arm, the bounce of the hammer that let her go on longer before her shoulder and arm began to burn.

    Stupid, all of them. And mean. Arguss was the only one who wasn't-


    She blushed, paused deliberately to stretch. Arguss was only a year or two older, apprenticed to the Beardaxe Vester-Mason Primogenicus. And he deserved it, she had seen his work: never content with the easy, symmetrical geometrics that were 'good enough' for most. Sometimes his sculptures and reliefs seemed to flow...to pulse. Gods and ancient heroes seemed to breathe from the stone, not merely scowl in cold, abstract profile.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)01:51 No.7482483
    Now she was being stupid. She didn't know him; Arguss might be just as mean and dumb as the others. But he was so quiet, like the men Poppa worked with; not a braggart or a rowdy brawler. Even when he wasn't working, he seemed lost in thought. She would sit across the alehall once in a while...sometimes...a lot...and wonder what he was thinking of. When he worked, he often had this tiny smile on his lip, almost hidden by the braids of his beard.

    She had managed to fall into a more proper rhythm, the 'prentice-smithy ringing with a good pattern, a right pattern. The impact of hammer on metal was a smooth pulse that traveled up her arm, which sent a tiny shock through the anvil with each blow. Without thinking about it, she had begun to lean slightly on the anvil, feeling the pace of her work through her hips and pelvis as well as her arm. Dimly she became aware that it felt...different.

    She paused. She hit the flywheel a few more times...then, experimentally, she tapped the anvil itself. Pressed firmly against it, she lifted her hammer, and brought it down in a solid blow.

    Oh. That was...oh.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:53 No.7482495
    Put the whole thing up on 1d4chan.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:53 No.7482502
    Anvil sex incoming.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)01:54 No.7482510
    She suddenly felt her face heat up, her ears burning. She looked around herself, mortified that somehow, someone might have come into the smithy. No. No one else came in here this late, it was why she liked to be here, when all the others had gone home. She leaned in once more, slender hips pressed to the surface of the anvil. She struck the anvil again. It felt good, but muffled. She wondered if...then she ran her hand over the thick leather apron she was wearing. She pursed her lips, then set the hammer down and yanked it off, tossing the grimy apron aside. When she placed her pelvis against the metal this time, she could feel its slightly chilly surface through the fabric of her work-skirt. She tapped the surface of the anvil...then harder...then a solid, ringing hammerblow. Her knees quivered beneath her. Her nipples felt tight beneath her shirt. Surely this was wrong...

    As she toyed with the hammer and the anvil, experimenting with angles and varying amounts of force, her mind wandered. She thought of Arguss again, licking her lips. She thought of his hands--powerful, skilled, weilding a hammer and chisel. She could just see the gentle way his fingertips would brush across his work surface, scattering chips and dust, a confident caress on the curved surface of... the...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:54 No.7482513
    Sure, I'll bite.

    Level 11 Drow Cha/Wis Paladin, wielding either an axe, hammer or heavy blade, must be "sword-n-board", raised among Dwarves. Dump Dex; dwarves wouldn't place a great deal of emphasis on eye-hand coordination training, even if it does play to her racial strengths.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)01:55 No.7482528
    She dropped the hammer, barely missing her toes. She didn't notice. She was grinding against the surface of the anvil, its hard pommel pressing between her thighs, the sensations so sweet yet not...quite...there. She let out a tiny, frustrated moan, then bit her own hand, mortified at the sound. Finally she hiked her skirt up one leg, placing her foot on the edge of the raised dais that the anvil rested upon, one bare thigh pressed to its side. She leaned in--it was chilly! Yet the surface of the metal warmed quickly enough, and she moved again, fluidly, breathing heavily through parted lips. Arguss...she thought about his hands, about being touched, the shape of his lips as he blew dust off of his engravings...

    She seemed to burst inside, a wonderful sensation fluttering outward from deep in her abdomen. She whimpered, dropped to her knees, clutching a handful of her skirt between her thighs in a mix of amazement and horrified embarassment. White hair fell over her eyes, and she pushed it back, fingers dragging slowly through her hair, her pulse finally settling. She smoothed her clothes, looked for her hammer...glancing once more around the empty smithy.

    Tap-tap, slam. Tap-tap, slam. It seemed so much easier to concentrate now, her mind placid and content. Tap-tap...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:56 No.7482537
    Actually, I WOULD like to see how Touhoufag builds a paragon-level Sanvich, or at least a high-level (say, 7-9) heroic tier one.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)01:56 No.7482547
         File1262933789.jpg-(106 KB, 641x534, bueno excelente.jpg)
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    I think this might make me a bad person.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:56 No.7482555
    It does. Now continue!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)01:58 No.7482573

    I am now eagerly stroking my beard.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:02 No.7482626
    Actually, I won't.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:03 No.7482639
         File1262934209.jpg-(84 KB, 366x367, bilbo you crazy.jpg)
    84 KB
    i say!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:06 No.7482690
    But didn't Arguss run off with some dwarven hussy, leaving poor Sandvich heartbroken?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:08 No.7482720
    doesn't mean she can't still fantasize about his strong arms, his broad chest, his flowing beard, his long hard... hammer.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:09 No.7482738

    She hasn't seen his "hammer", besides, this is probably set before he rejected her.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)02:09 No.7482742
         File1262934588.jpg-(220 KB, 760x596, porkchisel.jpg)
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    No, that's some other dorf. An adventurer, I think.

    I dunno how Arguss goes on to break her lil heart. Maybe he goes into the "statues you can fuck" business, or something.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 01/08/10(Fri)02:11 No.7482764
    I fucking miss Dyrsirna and Aldrin

    Thier story stopped so suddenly...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:12 No.7482779

    That Paladin and Drow-chan?
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 01/08/10(Fri)02:13 No.7482792
    yeah, the one that raped him every morning.

    The writefag actually made her seem like a drow and not some slutty bimbo. there is a VERY fine line
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:14 No.7482803
    Still, it's sad that other dorfs see her as an elf first, dorf second.

    Gonna make that my epic destiny, I think, a suitable quest for my Questing Paladin- find a dorf who can accept this young elf for who she is, not because he's into elves or something. That'd be gross.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 01/08/10(Fri)02:16 No.7482822
    I like Sandy as well, the concept of a scotish accented drow full plate makes me smile
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:18 No.7482852
    Could we get a repost or an archive link for those?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:18 No.7482853
    Until today, I knew nothing of Sandy.

    I love the character that is built up through the stories on 1d4chan. I wonder what anon came up with it, because I want to marry him/her and have him/her's children.

    Willing to have a sex change to make it happen.

    Mail me. ~<3
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:19 No.7482867
    Bumping for Touhoufag's Drow Chaladin. I don't care how underpowered it is, I wanna play Sandwich.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:41 No.7483123
    Bump for the love of Sandwich!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:47 No.7483180
         File1262936878.jpg-(216 KB, 695x898, Cei Sandwich Stoutaxe.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:49 No.7483202
    4e characters are easy to build. Get the character builder, go to D&D Character Optimization thread, find "Pimp my Paladin...etc Handbook." level it up to 7. Bamn you're done.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:52 No.7483227
    Them WotC-dwelling pikers don't know what they're talking about half the time.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)02:56 No.7483255
    Agreed; I was the anon who came in with a question re: Dex 8 Int 12 Paladin, and Touhoufag gave better advice than the Paladins' Handbook did.

    That said, the Handbook is useful in a lot of other ways, and one should really give it a go at first, before coming back in here. Sandwich's powers and such aren't really explained, so feel free to pick and choose what you want.

    By the way, where do:
    >Birth - Among Another Race: Among Another Race (Dwarf)
    >Background: Birth - Among Another Race (Among Another Race (Dwarf))

    Come from? Are they 3.5 stuff?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:00 No.7483281
    ====== Created Using Wizards of the Coast D&D Character Builder ======
    Sandwich Stoutaxe, level 7
    Drow, Paladin
    Build: Virtuous Paladin
    Darkfire: Darkfire Charisma
    Birth - Among Another Race: Among Another Race (Dwarf)
    Background: Birth - Among Another Race (Among Another Race (Dwarf))

    Str 12, Con 12, Dex 10, Int 10, Wis 17, Cha 19.

    Str 12, Con 12, Dex 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 16.

    AC: 25 Fort: 17 Reflex: 18 Will: 20
    HP: 63 Surges: 11 Surge Value: 15

    Religion +8, History +8, Endurance +7, Heal +11

    Acrobatics -1, Arcana +3, Bluff +7, Diplomacy +7, Dungeoneering +6, Insight +6, Intimidate +11, Nature +6, Perception +6, Stealth +1, Streetwise +7, Thievery -1, Athletics +2

    Level 1: Power of Earth
    Level 2: Focused Expertise (Double sword)
    Level 4: Fearsome Host
    Level 6: Devilbane

    Lay on Hands: Lay on Hands
    Paladin at-will 1: Ardent Strike
    Paladin at-will 1: Bolstering Strike
    Paladin encounter 1: Valorous Smite
    Paladin daily 1: On Pain of Death
    Paladin utility 2: Endure Pain
    Paladin encounter 3: Trial of Strength
    Paladin daily 5: Unyielding Faith
    Paladin utility 6: Shield the Virtuous
    Paladin encounter 7: Strength from Valor

    Adventurer's Kit, Heavy Shield, Deathburst Plate Armor +2, Bloodclaw Longsword +2, Bracers of Defense (heroic tier), Dwarven Greaves (heroic tier), Dual-Threat Gauntlets (heroic tier), Phrenic Crown (heroic tier), Amulet of Double Fortune +2, Belt of Sacrifice (heroic tier)
    ====== Copy to Clipboard and Press the Import Button on the Summary Tab ======

    Not Touhoufag, but heres a level 7 build with magic items on every slot...etc. However it's to show you how quick it is to make a character.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:04 No.7483315
    Sandwich gets a stalker?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:04 No.7483316
    General background from character builder.

    As for the stats, I just made them up on the spot. I figured she spent a lot of time around dwarves, and while her race is naturally quick she's not very quick. As seen when she was too late to save the king.

    If there was more fleshing out of her character I assure that the stats wouldn't be the way they are. I was trying to build it more off of fluff, rather than hardcore optimizing.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:08 No.7483351

    The irony of people sitting around waiting for someone to build a character for them saying that the WoTC CO boards don't know what they're doing is delicious. The backgrounds are from PHB 2. You know, the big section marked backgrounds you probably never read.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)03:09 No.7483362
    After reading up her entry on 1d4 chan I think I'll try expanding on it.

    Sitting alone in a wood cell for an entire day. That's certainly the kind of heroic adventures a paladin of Moradin would have right? Oh who was she kidding? Between meeting the ever insipid Smite Brannigan and getting hog tied by a group of elves, she was about as far from being an exemplar to her clan as possible.

    She wasn't sure what time it was. But the shadows had positioned themselves just right so she could see clear as day without the light stinging her sensitive red orbs. She thought she saw movement outside her cell door.

    "Thank you for coming," came the deep yet distinctly light voice. She recognized it as the elder.

    "Yea, yea," said the second voice "just lemme get the tools. Say you got a drow?"

    Sandy's eyes suddenly widened. Oh Moradin. She had heard stories from her father before. Elves very rarely executed criminals. But considering their dark cousins reputation the thought of them making an exception didn't seem too far fetched. She remembered the interrogation and the way they had all looked at her. Something told her they weren't going to be the most understanding lot.

    Sandy braced herself against the wall as her door opened. Maybe she could try some of her inherit drow abilities?... then again. Had she ever used those abilities? As far as she was aware she could make an orb of darkness and maybe some magic fire but the thought of actually conjuring it never really occurred to her growing up. Even if she figured out what kind of personal conjuring it took, she somewhat doubted she could come up with it on the fly.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:10 No.7483370
    In my defence, I don't have the PHB 2. Just the regular PHB and the Eberron book.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)03:10 No.7483375

    The elder walked in. She was inspecting an elf guard carrying a weapon of some kind but instead she saw... a human. He was a short, gauntly figure with a beer belly and spindly little arms. Though the sheer mass of his coat seemed to hide some of this, the width of them in proportion to the sleeve revealed that the man looked far too physically weak to be a fighter. Across his face he wore a pair of goggles, one a blood red lens while the other was a stark sapphire blue. The human also had facial hair. Though his was even less profound than the elder's. Covering his chin, upper lip and sideburns with only the tiniest amount of stubble. Moving up to his head of messy black/dark brown hair.

    "This is her," the elder said as he pointed to Sandy.

    "Hmmmm...." the human hummed as he reached for a belt at his waist and began to reach for some random items. Sandy braced herself again. Had they hired a wizard to kill her? Why go through the trouble.

    "I'm not an enemy!" Sandy shouted.

    "Hold your tongue!" the elder shouted back "we'll determine that soon enough."

    "Ya know you could've just killed her," the human commented "why hire me?"

    "Our dark kin are tricky and cruel... but she claims to be of a dwarven clan. And a paladin no less!" the elder explained.

    "So she's either insane, apart of the most convoluted and insane drow deception yet, or she's telling the truth?" the man asked "ya know I did hear a saying once. 'So stupid. It has to be real'!"

    Sandy stood up. She could only take being demeaned for so long.

    "Think of me or my kind what you will. But I still have my pride and my faith!" she shouted at both of them with conviction. The human and the elder both looked at each other, shrugged and the man pulled out what looked to be a strange metal box with a tiny piece of wood sticking out of it.
    >> Zarim !TqMZWlRs3o 01/08/10(Fri)03:16 No.7483448
    >>strange metal box

    I think you all know what joke I want to make.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:17 No.7483452
    An airplane crash joke?
    >> Zarim !TqMZWlRs3o 01/08/10(Fri)03:18 No.7483469
    Alright, so a chick walks into a bar and says "My husband doesn't satisfy me sexually." The bartender says "I know just the thing." and pulls out a big purple dildo...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:19 No.7483491
    Boxes are square. Dildos are not sqaure. What kind of sick mind do you have?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:20 No.7483501


    Do keep going.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)03:34 No.7483684

    He pointed it at her. Sandy stood her ground, expecting there to be a flash of lightning or possibly a fireball launched in her direction. But instead there was a simple buzzing noise and she saw a blue light start to glow from the metal box.

    "Alright," the human said as he adjusted his goggles "what's your name, where you from, and why're you here?"

    Sandy breathed a sigh of relief. He was merely sent her to try and discern if she was telling the truth.

    "My name is Sandwhich Stoutaxe of the Stoutaxe Clan. I'm a paladin of Moradin and I have come to this forest to purge it of evil," Sandy stated with pride.

    The human observed the box as the arcane lights flashed a few more times.

    "... she's being honest," he said, sounding like he could hardly believe his own words.

    "You can't be serious!" the elder breathed "her name is SANDWHICH? She's apart of a DWARF CLAN and a paladin or Moradin!?"

    "Hey. The powers that be don't lie," the human said as he looked at his device with admiration. Sandy found an odd familiarity in the way he held it aloft. It reminded her of poppa when he held up an axe of his own forging and observed it like that. Maybe this human wasn't so bad after all.

    "When was the last time you got that thing properly attuned?" the elder asked "remember that her kind are well known for their deception."

    The human took off his goggles and she saw a pair of shallow blue eyes move from her to the elder and give him a demeaning stare.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)03:35 No.7483695

    "Hey bud. I'm the artificer here. This thing's seen me through so many lies that I can't even come up with a proper joke about it," he said. Sandy smiled to herself. It wasn't that what he said was funny, but it was good to see someone who wasn't treating her existence as being a matter of deathly seriousness.

    "But if you REALLY wanna trance soundly tonight," the human reached into his pocket and pulled out another metal box. This one smaller. He rested it on the floor of the chamber and began inscribing an arcane circle around it.

    Sandy had never seen magic like this before. She couldn't tell if it was the arcane markings of a wizard or the gentle prayers of a cleric. This magic seemed much more... raw. Much more practical. Like the kind a dwarf actually might use. The look of concentration on the human's face even reminded Sandy of her father when he was smithing away at his anvil.

    The thought of the hammer striking down on the anvil brought back some... awkward memories. Sandy positioned her legs strangely and watched as a holy light emanated from the metal box. The human proceeded to hold it up to his ear.

    "Hello? May I speak with Moradin? Maybe an avatar?" he said as he paused for a second, "no?... how about one of his messengers then?... an angel? Alright. I'll hold."

    Sandy wasn't quite sure what was going on. But if it sounded like what she thought it sounded like then she felt a great wave of relief wash over her as she knew the perfect alibi was coming.

    "Yea? Does Moradin have a Paladin named Sandwhich? Happens to be a drow?" the human paused for another couple seconds before nodding "thank you, oh supreme being. I will take your message to heart", another flash of holy light and he turned his attention back to Sandy and the Elder, "she checks out."
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:37 No.7483726
    >The thought of the hammer striking down on the anvil brought back some... awkward memories. Sandy positioned her legs strangely and watched as a holy light emanated from the metal box
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:49 No.7483843
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:49 No.7483849
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:50 No.7483854
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)03:52 No.7483885

    The Elder just stared at Sandy. His eyes weren't sure how to take her. A combination of confusion, disgust and rage filled them. Sandy just returned with an enraged and prudent stare of her own.

    "Do you believe me now? I even have the word of my god with me!" Sandy stated. The elder turned his attention away, whether he was ashamed to speak to her or afraid wasn't known.

    "You can't expect me to believe all of this!" he shouted at the human.

    "Hey man. You can kill her if you like. But then again. Moradin might not be too keen on seeing one of his paladin's killed by Elves. Drow or not. Wonder how her family would respond if they found out. That's an entire clan of dwarves. Stoutaxe was it? They're pretty strong in number I believe," the human said as he looked at the elder. Apparently enjoying watching him squirm as much as Sandy was.

    "I can't just let her go," he stated after a moment of gritting her teeth, "many of the elves of this village have fought her kind. Some have lost mothers, daughters, entire villages to her kind."

    "I thought you elves had your 'superior natural culture that vastly outlives we humans brutal lifestyle' thing going," the human said. Sandy was liking this human more and more.

    "Drow are different. They're a reminder of a mistake... a reminder of a failure. We lose some of our rationality when dealing with them. If I just let her go, there could be a revolt. There's no telling what would happen," he explained.

    The human finally nodded and turned to Sandy.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)03:58 No.7483963
    God damn you, why can't you write it all out before you start posting?

    ...Or are you doing this just to torture us and our F5 keys?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)04:06 No.7484053

    He's probably thinking we don't want to wait for him to finish, instead giving us what he's written so far so we have something to read.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)04:08 No.7484072

    "OK Sandwhich. Guess you're gonna have to leave this place in chains," he explained.

    "Excuse me?" she asked.

    "Just until the heat cools down. Hate to break it to ya but this guy's right. These guys do lose any sensibility when drow are involved. Worse if you fight them you're just proving them right," he proceeded to pull out a set of steel manacles that glowed with a shimmering arcane light.

    "... OK," Sandy sighed as she let her wrists fall into them, "but I don't have to like it."

    The human nodded as he lead her down the corridor outside.

    "AND I'LL BE WANTING MY STUFF BACK!" Sandy shouted over her shoulder at the elder. He just watched her, not with anger or disgust now but with... intrigue. Like he was observing a sight he doubted he'd ever see again.

    When Sandy was taken out into the elf village she saw all manner of elf glaring at her as a dwarf would at a traitor to his clan. The archers sitting up in the tree tops grasped their bows just a bit tighter as they walked by. And mothers seemed to coddle their young ones just a bit tighter.

    "Sandwhich," the human said as they got closer to the outskirts of the village.

    "Excuse me?" Sandy asked.

    "Just a weird name is all. Sandwhich? Does that mean something different in drow?... errr... dwarven?" the man asked. Sandy smiled at him.

    "Me poppy named me that. Found me in a picnic basket... apparently he wanted a sandwhich inside. Got more than he bargained for," she explained.

    "HAH! Just like a dwarf to think with his stomach," he chuckled, "my name's Jim."

    "Jim?" she asked.

    "Yea. Real name's James Issac Messiah. But people call me Jim cause... well... it's my first, middle and last name's fist letters combined. Also an abbreviation for my first name!" he said.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)04:10 No.7484092
    this needs archive. to suptg with you!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)04:15 No.7484140
    >Archiving thread 7477889
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    >Sanity checking passed. Continuing with archival.
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    Archived for the archive god.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)04:33 No.7484336

    Sorry. Just typing as fast as I can.


    Jim and Sandy walked outside the village and Sandy happened upon the most amazing mount she had ever seen. It appeared to have the basic structure of a horse. But rather than flesh and bone, this was a construct of steel and metal. Held together by enchantments she could only imagine. It's red eyes were both lifeless and fascinating all at once.

    "Wooow..." she gasped.

    "Bet you never saw one of these huh?" Jim said as he climbed onto the mount and motioned for her to get on.

    "What kind of wizard are you?" Sandy asked.

    "Not Wizard. Artificer. We're a bit different," he explained.

    Sandy managed to position herself on the back of the metal horse, right behind Jim. She held on as the mechanical mount took right off and started to trot down the forest path.

    "So whe're we heading?" Sandy asked.

    "A way home! Or at least I am..." Jim responded.

    It was two hours later and Sandy had already taken off the shackles (thanks to Jim's help), donned her armor once more and received her battle axe again. It felt good to be in her armor again. Felt natural to feel the weight baring down on her shoulders.

    Jim was currently standing in front of a circle that he was drawing carefully in the dirt.

    "Ya know," Jim said "a paladin of Moradin might be useful back where I'm from. Sure you wouldn't like to come along?"

    "Thank you," Sandy replied as she tightened her breastplate some more "but I mustn't. I promised to slay the evils lurking in this forest."

    "Hmmm," Jim hummed "well guess I should tell you then."

    "Tell me what?" Sandy asked.

    "The reason the elder hired me to come interrogate you, the reason those elves were all on guard was because they were afraid you might've been a sign."

    "A sign?" Sandy asked. Growing more confused with what he was saying.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)04:35 No.7484355

    "Every couple hundred years there's an elf born in this here forest. He ain't like normal elves. He's evil. And not just regular drow kinda evil. I'm talking literal child of Azmodeus himself kinda bad. Normally they can find the 'problem child' early in life and... nip it in the bud," Sandy winced as Jim said this. The idea of elves killing infants was giving her a lower opinion of the wood dwelling cousins more and more. Even if he was evil.

    "But recently, the time's come and no child was born with certain factors that indicate this. Sometimes horns, sometimes blood red split pupil eyes. Sometimes just a dark, uneasy aura around them. They thought the curse passed this century when apparently there was a murder here not too long ago," Jim explained and Sandy's head nodded. So there WAS evil in this forest!

    "Naturally they're a bit paranoid. One of their kind may be harboring powers from the abyss and a soul as black to boot. You showing up might've given them the impression this black sheep might've gone to the underdark for assistance," Jim seemed to finish up his arcane circle then.

    "They thought I was in league with a murderer?" she asked.

    "That's what he was worried about. Also probably the reason they didn't shoot on sight. Probably wanted to try and get as much out of you as possible in case you knew something about him," Jim said as he moved away and clapped his hands, "all I know is, this forest definitely has plenty of evil for you to smite."
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)04:36 No.7484361

    Just like that. A portal opened up in front of Jim and he proceeded to walk toward it. The mechanical horse following, "you sure you'll be fine?" Jim asked over his shoulder.

    "I have Moradin's light and hammer with me. I will be fine," she stated.

    "Heh, alright," Jim proceeded to move through the portal an in an instant both him and the mechanical horse were gone. Sandy smiled to herself and nodded. It was good to know that not everyone outside her clan was bad.

    As she turned around, her face went straight through a spiderweb, "AIIEEYYY! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Sandy screeched as she ran about in a panic. She hated spiders.

    Unknown to her, the sun was setting and soon it would be night. A good time for drow... but an even worse time for paladins.

    That's it for me. Feel free to put it up on 1d4chan.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)04:42 No.7484430
    Well written! Kudos!
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)04:44 No.7484453

    I do my best.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)08:54 No.7486789
    By the way, isn't an elf believing to be a dwarf deep inside a kind of furry ?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)08:57 No.7486822
    obvious troll is obvious.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)09:01 No.7486866
    Of course, but i'm genuinely curious if /tg/ would bite.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)09:22 No.7487062
    Depends if the dwarf inside is beardy or not.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)11:18 No.7488449
    Sandwich would be beardy between her legs if not for an accident at birth.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)11:19 No.7488461
    How did I know this mary sue bullshit would catch on and become /tg/ waifu

    you nerds are so fucking predicatable.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)11:21 No.7488486
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    >I don't know what words mean
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)11:21 No.7488491
    I just noticed, thats a huge dwarf!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)11:37 No.7488645
    I like the face on this one and the other one. MOAR please, good anon.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)12:51 No.7489489
    Well thanks for what we did get, sir.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:10 No.7489696
    Saved a little Sandwich writefagging from an earlier thread for you, /tg/. Well actually, I saved it to pop into a campaign of mine, but you know.

    As they exited the temple, Edric spoke up. "I ought to introduce you to my...companion, if you'd care to follow."

    "He didn't come for th' meeting?"

    "He's...not the social type. Nor particularly interested in maps and plans. Come, you'll see." He turned down a foopath, leading into a copse of trees just outside the village.

    The light of a campfire, and the smell of singed venison, was apparent before they broke into the clearing. Sandy stopped. eyes wide, when she caught sight of the ogre. Shalindra gasped, drawing his attention. For all the stories of giantkind, the bits of practical wisdom shared with her over the years, seeing such a huge creature for the first time was unsettling. Beady eyes glanced over at them, suspiciously, then turned back to the half-raw haunch of deer that he was chewing on. His head seemed narrow atop a keg-shaped body, massive shoulders and arms atop an equally imposing belly, jutting out over his belt. Next to him lay a great club the size of a mature tree trunk, with one end wrapped in rope and the other bristling with metal studs.

    "This is my...companion." Eldric's voice was still rather stiff, but Sandy thought there was a note of genuine regard for the huge creature. "As I said, not much for conversation, though he'll chatter senselessly away if you care to sit and listen. Still, he's a good fellow to have close by when there's undead to be put to rest."
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:10 No.7489704
    The ogre glanced up again, eyeing them suspiciously. "You can not have deer. It's mine!" He begain to gnaw on the haunch of meat more vigorously, lewd sounds of smacking lips and grinding bone coming from his greasy mouth.

    Shalindra spoke up. "I do believe I have no appetite for any of your....dinner."

    The ogre only grunted, continuing to chew. Edric nudged a massive leg with his boot. "Don't be rude, now. Introduce yourself."

    He looked up again, a spark of fire in his eyes as he began to speak a sort of recitation. "I am Heavy Foot Shod in Skin of Bear Killed With Bare Hands, Which Stomps on Stupid Little Creatures and Laughs at Noises They Make."

    Edric cleared his throat. "Just call him Heavy."

    Heavy seemed not to notice, reaching out with one slablike hand to pat the greatclub sitting next to him. "And this is Sascha!"
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:12 No.7489722
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    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:13 No.7489735
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    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:13 No.7489737
    You might appreciate these
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:15 No.7489760

    btw, I think Eldric and Shalindra were supposed to have been met at some earlier point, but if something was written about that I didn't save it.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:19 No.7489798
    Why? That's completely unrelated.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:26 No.7489905
    And no one knows why he posted.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:27 No.7489929

    Soon she'll encounter the club wielding scout from the inner parts of waterdeep.

    The Firetouched masked sorcerer.

    The North Western dwarf alchemist.

    And the doppleganger with a cloak of invisibility.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:28 No.7489932
    Who are Eldric and Shalindra?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:31 No.7489976
    Eldric is the Medic, in this case a cleric of a FR death god.

    Dunno who Shalindra is.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:33 No.7490010
    Good ending. I'm glad you didn't have her go with Jim, that would have been too... typical. "ON TO NEW ADVENTURES WITH OUR FRIENDS" and not "I'm a paladin and I came here to get something done."
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:33 No.7490017
    That idea got written? Cool. Seeing a continuation of Heavy and Sandwich working together would be cool.
    "Sandvich! We make good team!"
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:34 No.7490030
    >>"Sandvich! We make good team!"

    I laughed.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:37 No.7490072
    This part of it comes a little too close to Drizzt-style whining for my comfort.

    But it's a nice fapfic, so I'm not going to really complain.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:40 No.7490117
    Have all there stories been added to the 1d4chan article?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:46 No.7490218
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    >implying that elves grow pubic hair
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:48 No.7490237
    Drow men can grow fucking MUSTACHES
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:49 No.7490265
    Mmmm anvil porn.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)13:55 No.7490344
    As in, not a dwarf. Durp.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)14:06 No.7490503

    Thanks. And now I think I'll continue a bit.

    To humans. A dark forest would seem like a terrifying place to be. But to Sanwhich, who had lived her whole life underground and was a member of a race that dwelled in the underdark. It was practically as bright as day to her eyes.

    As she walked through the forest, she spent a good amount of time humming to herself. An old shanty tune about drinking ale and roughhousing. A typical dwarf song. Sigh. Thinking about her family brought back some fond memories. She wondered when she would get to go back.

    "That drow was a nice distraction," the hooded figure said to the elder.

    "She really was a paladin," he breathed "of Moradin no less! Is the whole world going mad?"

    "Times are changing..." the hooded figure said as he slipped out a sharp looking dagger, "the drow could make for an excellent scapegoat."

    "We run the risk of angering Moradin if we slay her! The entire Stoutaxe clan could bare down on us if we-" the elder's words were cut off by a swish of the hooded figure's gloved hand.

    "The Stoutaxe clan will be a bump. A trifle little stepping stone in our grand design," it explained "once we have the armies of the abyss itself at our fingertips. The entire land will fall to us."
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)14:07 No.7490511

    "Then she may prove to be a hindrance," the elder explained, "her arrival along with your previous foul-ups have made the village weary. There are talks of simply calling off Haullenstiel."

    "We have celebrated Haullenstiel for longer than that drow girl has been alive. They wouldn't skip centuries of tradition because of a single drow," the cloaked figure said.

    The elder rubbed the side of his face thoughtfully. If there was one thing the elves liked more than hating the drow it was their love of tradition.

    "How do we blame the drow for the sacrifice?" he asked.

    "She is a paladin. She will head for the center of evil in this forest... once she finds the gateway. We will make our move. The entire forest will be overrun by demons in a matter of hours. And the blame will lay squarely on this treacherous, power hungry drow female who WE, after following on a bad suspicion will have no choice but to stop," the figure explained. The elder could just picture it's smile under that hood.

    "So when do we begin?" he asked.

    "Right... now," the figure said as it pulled off the hood.
    >> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 01/08/10(Fri)14:11 No.7490554

    Aaaannndd writers block.

    Whelp that was fun!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)15:10 No.7491467
    Politely requesting more anvil porn from YetAnotherWriteFag.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)16:06 No.7492324
    I quite like it, good job. Occasional spelling mistake, but still enjoyable.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)16:43 No.7492979
    Do continue when writer's block departs.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)17:17 No.7493517
    I don't know how many variations you can make on that...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)18:26 No.7494867
    Well, general Sandwich porn is fine too. Paladins are under a LOT of stress after all.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)18:31 No.7494952
    ITT: /tg/ proves that it will sexualize everything it creates, eventually.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)18:36 No.7495035

    Everyone has sex eventually, except those with a vow of Chastity, then Succubi come into play.

    I don't recall Sandwich making such a vow, and growing up, frustrated, she HAD to experiment a little...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:12 No.7495609
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:15 No.7495656
    But with whom? Being a drow in a dwarven community that doesn't find her attractive is going to prove very limiting to her prospects. If anything, she'd probably get taken advantage of by some visiting human and regret it for years afterward.

    Besides that, at least half of /tg/ will rage over her doing that, as part of the anti-Drizzt/Sue nature is her saving herself for the future. An upright girl brought up in a structured but supportive dwarven community isn't going to find that as hard as you might think.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:19 No.7495725

    She's saving herself, yes, but when she finds that person chances are she's going to have sex after a while. That's probably where the "eventually" comes into play.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:25 No.7495813
    Well yeah, of course. I can see her requiring a ring first if she's as mentally dwarf as she's been depicted so far. It's not like she has to settle for less.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:26 No.7495816
    rolled 17 = 17

    Actually she'd probably be pretty sexually frustrated by the time she was a young adult if all the dwarves don't give her the time of day.

    Also, the only reason most of /tg/ will rage is because they're virgins who have never felt the touch of a woman.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:28 No.7495842
    This IS /tg/ you're talking about.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:34 No.7495939
    You make it sound as if nobody can remain celibate by choice. Both my wife and I found it quite doable. Shit, us getting married when I was 24 was the first time I did it, and hers too. It's seriously not as hard as you're saying; and that includes me turning down four offers of sex with pretty attractive girls (no models, but no ogres either) beforehand.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:41 No.7496037
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:45 No.7496114
    Dude, I have my code, and I don't break it for anyone. It's kept me from getting STDs or an unwanted kid and the child support payments that come with it. Not even a religiousfag, but it's the beliefs I was raised with. And they've kept me secure and happy over the years.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)19:47 No.7496146
    Wear rubber, it helps prevent those sort of things.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:16 No.7496556

    It does, yes. That might be fine for you, but it's not how I was brought up. And you can't expect someone raised in a medieval society, by DWARVES no less, to not get told growing up that what's right and proper is getting married before sexing it up.

    We've seen that Sandwich really does want to be a right and proper dwarf, genetic difficulties aside.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:33 No.7496829
    You're assuming things about an undetermined fictionnal race and medieval society, without much basis.
    The only thing we know about dwarfs in sandwich's world is that they're small miners with a lawful trend and a scottish accent. Not much was said about their conventions for sexual, marital and amorous relationship. Maybe they do not make of sexual exclusivity a big thing, maybe they do not form families upon affective links, maybe sex outside or before family is the norm.
    You can expect just about anything about what's right and proper for these dwarves. But you cannot expect that it's exactly the same than for your parents.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:43 No.7496960
    I'm only basing my assumption on the most common D&D representation of dwarves. And some implications in the previous writefagging.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:45 No.7497001

    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:46 No.7497012
    The sex before marriage thing was a Victorian notion, so I'm sure casual sex between Dwarves would be as common as casual sex between Humans at the time.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:50 No.7497073
    Greco-Roman notion, actually.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:51 No.7497091
    I'm not aware that the common DnD representation of dwarves >imply anything about their sexual habits. BoEF aside.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:54 No.7497132
    ITT: /tg/ speaks only of dwarves and would sooner discuss dwarf sexual mores than hot drow paladin
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:56 No.7497169
    This IS /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)20:59 No.7497230
    I would rather discuss Sandwich and a hot dwarf chick bedding each other.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:01 No.7497270
    >Those who have remained chaste for the longest time, receive the greatest commendation among their people; they think that by this the growth is promoted, by this the physical powers are increased and the sinews are strengthened. And to have had knowledge of a woman before the twentieth year they reckon among the most disgraceful acts; of which matter there is no concealment, because they bathe promiscuously in the rivers and [only] use skins or small cloaks of deer's hides, a large portion of the body being in consequence naked.
    Ceasar, on the Germans.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:05 No.7497323
    So it was just a Germanic-Notion then?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:08 No.7497371
    No, because the Greeks had it, as did the Romans. You marry a chick and she's not a virgin, and it's an auto divorce.

    Learn to history.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:14 No.7497476
    Yep. Girls after marriage, boys anytime.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:18 No.7497542
    This coming from the guy with three wives and even more relationships?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:19 No.7497553
    Or a mistress anytime, what with the Greco-Roman penchant for pederasty making it unlikely you'd find your wife terribly interesting to talk to. Not the same case with those Germans though.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:30 No.7497681
    Also, the roman society knew high rates of divorces and remarriages.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:32 No.7497709
    You're making a generalization about an empire that lasted longer than any other. What period of time are you referring to? Late Roman Empire was FAR different than early or middle.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)21:45 No.7497926
    Not longer than china. And I referred to the republic too.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)21:54 No.7498088
         File1263005690.jpg-(513 KB, 921x1150, Allied_Forces_by_Brushcommande(...).jpg)
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    Shalindra was basically just a random slutty sorceress I threw in to have someone wandering around with Sandy for a while. Not particularly important.

    Eldric is Medic.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)21:56 No.7498117

    Dear Diary,

    Oakhurst, it seems, has a spider problem.

    A colony of giant spiders has been slowly encroaching on one of the major roads nearby. It's to the point now where travelers on the road have to go in armed caravans, else their animals--or they themselves--be dragged off by spiders. So the local town councils have been spreading the word, looking for someone to come help them with their problem.

    A small group of us has formed. A sorceress named Shalindra, myself, and a ranger named Barstek. I'm the only non-human here, and the stares get a bit disconcerting at times. I took for granted how people back in the clanhold were used to my appearance. Anyway, Barstek brought another fellow with him, an older man in long robes. The council representatives seemed none to happy to see him. I eventually gathered that he was one of those druids I'd heard of. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but certainly not someone who looked so...normal. So it seems that the council was happy to take care of their spider problem without discussing it with the druids, but Barstek took it upon himself to involve them. I'm not sure why they would care--it's not like these are deer or bears or fish or something. They're spiders! Ugh.

    Anyway, there have been some rather loud discussions between the council and that druid, behind closed doors. A few hours later, though, they seem to have come to some sort of agreement. The nests will still be cleared, though the druid will accompany us.

    Oh, the ale here is terrible. When we took dinner at the tavern, I thought at first they had given me watered ale, like you'd give to a child. I was complaining about it, but Barstek tasted it and said it was no different from the rest. So apparently they just have no taste around here. Quite disappointing. I had five or six tankards but it just wasn't the same.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)21:57 No.7498142
    Dear Diary,

    I'm not sure which is more disgusting: giant spiders, or having to clean half-congealed spider guts out of your armor. Eeuuugh!

    We managed to clear the spiders out of their nest. No casualties, thank Moradin, though I took a nasty bite through my armor. It burned for a bit, but I didn't have any problems from venom. Go figure.

    Shalindra was quite...impressive. I've never seen a creature _explode_ before. I can see where maybe the druids might have worried--I think she could have burned half the forest if she set her mind to it. But she was quite precise, and only a few trees were rather scorched, not too badly. Even with her assistance, though, there was still a lot of honest hacking and bashing to be done. Anyway, we got to the central nest, a huge swath of webbing draped across a grove of trees. Killed the last of the spiders--that we could find, anyway--and put the egg clusters to the torch. Even still, the local militia are going to be combing these woods for months, looking for hidden eggs or spiders that managed to escape.

    At one point, I was hacking down a curtain-like swath of webbing, and I happened to see the druid, crouched next to one of the egg clusters. He quite gently extracted a few of the eggs from the sticky mass, wrapped them in cloth, and placed them inside a shoulder-bag. When he finished, he didn't seem surprised to see me; merely stood up and approached, and said quietly, "Everything has its place. Even these. It will simply have to be somewhere other than here." And he smiled, and patted a hand on my pauldron. I decided not to mention it to the others.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)21:58 No.7498154
    I'm pretty sure that was the right decision.

    The council paid us all quite a respectable purse of gold for the job, though I would have done it for free. Still, I'm sure I can put it to some good purpose. Shalindra, Barstek and I gathered back at the tavern for a sort of celebratory meal. After only three or four of those watery ales, Shalindra was a bit flushed, and crawled onto Barstek's lap. And a little bit later they excused themselves to "find a room." I was speechless! She didn't know him before yesterday! It seems humans are...different.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)22:00 No.7498199
    Dear Diary,

    I've been traveling with Shalindra for the last few weeks, since leaving Oakhurst. I wanted to ask about Barstek but...I couldn't imagine how to talk about that sort of thing. She certainly didn't seem bothered when he was gone the next day. Humans are so strange.

    Anyway, she's cheerful company: constantly chatty, really. Places she's been, men, strange magical conundrums, men...I admit, it's sort of fascinating. I never would have imagined that you could [scribbled messily out]...much less at the same time! Anyway, when I asked why she wanted to accompany me, she simply laughed and said that a paladin would always be finding her way into trouble. She says she wants to test herself, develop her abilities to channel the "Weave." She seems honest enough, anyway, even if her motives aren't particularly selfless.

    Poppa used to say alot, "Sandwich, girl, are ye trying to look like a sorceress?" when he didn't like what I was wearing. (How could I help it? Custom-tailored costs a pretty coin, and skirts cut dwarf-length were always flapping around my knees. And the necklines wide enough to be sliding off my shoulder half the time. So annoying!) I always thought that was an exaggeration. But once we got out of the early spring chills, Shalindra bundled up the coat she was wearing and now mostly goes around in...well, it's a vest, sort of, except it seems about two sizes too small. For a while I thought she was going to be popping out of it, until I figured out that it's been tailored that way. And her 'skirt,' slit most the way up her thighs on both sides... She only laughed at me when I stared, though. I guess she likes being the center of attention, being showy and dramatic.

    At least when she's around, I'm not always the one being stared at. That's nice, in a way.
    >> YetAnotherWritefag !BF9WDhCQ8M 01/08/10(Fri)22:05 No.7498266
         File1263006332.jpg-(48 KB, 306x400, preview.jpg)
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    So yeah, Shalindra is basically just the chick from the front of the Player's Manual. I just needed more than one character to be bashing things, and I liked the idea of having someone that would shock Sandy's sensibilities.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:11 No.7498352
         File1263006684.jpg-(188 KB, 1000x1672, Pathfinder2_Sorceress03.jpg)
    188 KB
    I liek sorceresses.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:24 No.7498531
    Holy shit, I refresh after hours of nothing and there's a bunch of new writefagging. READING NOW.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:30 No.7498603
    Before the spellweave collapsed? Boo.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:35 No.7498650
    HIGH FIVE. This is enjoyable stuff.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:37 No.7498671
    It was a good call.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:41 No.7498715
    Half-Orc barbarian who shouts everything he says.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:42 No.7498724
    I want to know what was scribbled out now.
    Thanks for writing more, YAWF! I liked the anvil tale.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)22:59 No.7498946

    Excellent stuff sir
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:02 No.7498995
    Such disdain is unexpected coming from someone who has sex with anvils.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:17 No.7499229
    She was just having a wank while at work.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:17 No.7499240
    Less disdain, more surprise.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:18 No.7499265
    Well she had an itch, and she relieved it as best she could.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:24 No.7499370
    this thread never ceases to amaze.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:27 No.7499429
    Props to all the great writefags in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:28 No.7499466
    Just needs more Sandwich nudity.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:31 No.7499514

    Sandwich having fun with an anvil, for some reason, is endlessly sexy to me.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:38 No.7499616
    Normally restrained girl having a moment of release due to emotions. Also, Drow cooter.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:41 No.7499670

    ...Actually, it's more the "with an anvil" part.
    >> BlueThief 01/08/10(Fri)23:45 No.7499726
    I've been begging for a Sandwich portrait every time there's a drawfag for the last 2 months, all of a sudden a Sandwich writefaggotry thread, god I love you /tg/
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:50 No.7499804
    Well, no one taught her to make a dildo yet.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/10(Fri)23:53 No.7499860

    Not sure if it would be hotter than the anvil to me, really.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)00:19 No.7500296
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)00:31 No.7500481
    Self forged dildo? A story on MAKING it would be hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)00:33 No.7500511

    That it would, especially if she can't wait and uses the Anvil again...
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)00:46 No.7500707
    Someone needs to get on this.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)00:50 No.7500766
    Trick is that it resonates when she strikes an anvil with her hammer while it's inserted.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)01:17 No.7501226

    Bump for this, goddamn we need a writefag.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)03:41 No.7502690
    Well, can't take your anvil to bed with you.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)05:48 No.7503273
    Tiny custom-made anvil.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)06:35 No.7503518

    Jeweler's Anvil.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)07:25 No.7503902
    Oh, hey, ever seen a thread on /tg/ that been alive for 2 days before?
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)07:25 No.7503906
    You can now.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)07:26 No.7503916
    Made one that was alive for 4, in fact. I don't think I've seen any around more than 4 days.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)11:37 No.7506106
    Can't think of an acceptable reason she'd want to rub off on an anvil. I'm female and it doesn't make sense to me. Desk, I can see, in the case of schoolgirls, but not an anvil.

    Now, tools, tools maybe.

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