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  • File : 1262645288.jpg-(60 KB, 612x459, orkstaghound.jpg)
    60 KB RT ship full of Orks :( Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:48 No.7428027  
    So during my group's last RT session, we discovered that our 5km long, salvaged from a space hulk Lunar-Class Cruiser, is infested on the lower decks with Orks.

    Since they're so deep in a sealed off part of the ship, we'd have to cut through hundred of meters of decks to vent them out into space. And there's too many for even the regiment of 1000 guardsmen we keep on board to fight off.

    So far, these are our best ideas.
    - Parlay with them, try to negotiate them off the ship. This will either be achieved by defeating the Warboss in single combat, which not even my arch-militant could probably do, or buying them off with a shitload of teef that we'll get somewhere.
    - Disguise a Lifter-Sentinel as an Ork, convince them that its the new boss.
    - Dropping them off on a planet, or docking with another void ship and herding the Orks on, thus making it someone else's problem.

    In any case, even if we get all the Orks off the ship, we're likely to be so spore-infested that we'll never truly be rid of them. So I thought I'd come ask you all on /tg/ how you would handle this problem. Is there a way that perhaps a ship infestation of Orks can be turned around for a profit?

    TL;DR: Our void ship is infested with Orks, what should we do?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:49 No.7428055

    "Sir, our ship is overrun by greenskins!!"

    "Then it is time to get a new one."
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 01/04/10(Mon)17:51 No.7428084
    Drive around, give orks plenty of fights.

    They will fight your battles for you, and enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:51 No.7428087
    Vent drive plasma into afflicted areas.

    Worked for Homeworld.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:53 No.7428107
    Its not that bad, because they don't have the ability yet to get out of the area they're sealed off in, its like a long-unused trash incinerator, on a separate system from the rest of the ship.

    And our ship is too sweet to abandon. Its 5km long, with four broadsides and a lance battery.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:53 No.7428119
    Clearly your best option is to seek out and capture some genestealers and put them in the lower decks with the orks.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:54 No.7428131
    But aren't the genestealers even worse?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:55 No.7428136
    Build a gargant inside the ship that's under your control that claims to be Mork or Gork... and then use it to order the orks to construct enough landing pods to take them all off the ship on a glorious WAAAUGH on the Great zoggin planet covahd in clouds that they'll be coming to soon enough!

    Then give them a few weeks to make enough drop pods out of scrap (send down all the trash and wrecked shit to them) then fly ship to a gas giant and have the gargant order them to disembark in the drop pods.... right into the crushing gravity well of the gas giant

    Ork infestation eliminated and you've cleaned up the ship somewhat.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:55 No.7428153
    It's alright, you get the Deathwatch to remove the Genestealers.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:56 No.7428162
    Then you use Necrons to remove the Genestealers!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:56 No.7428163
    You should reach some sort of agreement with them. Tell them that you will take them where they can do all kinds of fighting as long as none of them fight your people.

    And let them keep that portion of the ship. You clearly don't need it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:56 No.7428165
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:57 No.7428174

    But then you'll have Deathwatch going through your stuff and discovering XENO HERESY.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:57 No.7428185
    This sound like a plan but because dealing with Orks long-term is a bad idea, be sure to just leave them someplace eventually.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:57 No.7428192
    Worse... or better?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:57 No.7428194
    That's when you get the Necrons to distract the Deathwatch.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:58 No.7428209
    But then we're stuck with Necrons!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:59 No.7428217
    Then use warp creatures!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:59 No.7428220

    So you hire some orks to get rid of the necrons!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:59 No.7428229
    Even tell them that the humans on the ship will help supply them with materials, and will drop them off because Mork went and beat some sense into 'em.

    But they shouldn't beat the humans, humies are fragile, and Mork had to beat a lot of humies to get some wot survived.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)17:59 No.7428230
    don't worry, that's when you just send in the necrons to clear out the deathwatch teams.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:00 No.7428254
    >salvaged from a space hulk

    If orks are the worst thing you had you got off lucky.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:00 No.7428260

    "Sir, the ship is overrun by greenskins, genestealers, Necrons, Deathwatch, and greenskins!"

    ".....Jenkins, you said greenskins twice."

    "I know sir, we're doubly overrun by them"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:02 No.7428277
    Sell the ship
    don't tell them it has Orks.
    Let them kill off orks.
    recapture ork free ship.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:02 No.7428281
    Well its really only our third session, we might be in for more surprises.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:02 No.7428282
    >Disguise a Lifter-Sentinel as an Ork, convince them that its the new boss.

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:02 No.7428286
    hmmm... You know what would clear this whole mess right up? Some Daemons! Bloodletters and such. Jenkins, go fetch me that odd, blinking book we found last week made of human flesh! And some crew men that have been slacking off recently. Bring me my combat knife to...
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:03 No.7428289
    "I see. Jenkins, contact the Tau, Eldar, Dark Eldar and anything we can find on the nearest known-Chaos planets. We'll tan this problem yet."
    >> Commissar-Kun !uNEmgZBQBo 01/04/10(Mon)18:03 No.7428295
    Option 1 is heresy.

    Option 2 is interesting.

    Option 3 is treason and ergo is also heresy.

    Find a way to vent them into space.

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:04 No.7428309

    Ahh, that means the Greenskins are the overt threat. You already do have Genestealers, and possibly warp beasts.

    You need to bait all three groups into another area of the ship to exterminate each other.

    I suggest as bait an inanimate carbon rod.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:05 No.7428323

    "Right away sir!......Um, sir, how exactly do we contact the Dark Eldar?"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:07 No.7428362
    >> Commissar-Kun !uNEmgZBQBo 01/04/10(Mon)18:07 No.7428370





    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:09 No.7428389
    Send in a Catachan Devil
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:09 No.7428397

    I don't think you quite understand rogue traders...
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:09 No.7428401
    >> Warboss Metalitron !iXPBxua1AM 01/04/10(Mon)18:09 No.7428409
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:10 No.7428410
    "Emperor damn it all, Jenkins! I pay -you- to think things through! I'm a CAPTAIN, not a clever... thinker... man."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:10 No.7428418
    You've got more Orks than 1000 guardsmen can handle in close quarters. About 50 or 60 Squats should do the trick.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:10 No.7428423

    "Sir, our ship is overrun by greenskins, genestealers, Necrons, Deathwatch, greenskins, and some bloody giant lizards"

    "Jenkins, I think it may be time to leave."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:11 No.7428444
    This would make a great movie....
    >> Jenkins 01/04/10(Mon)18:12 No.7428445

    "Umm, sir, at last check, you don't pay me anything. And I'll get right on the.....thinking, sir."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:12 No.7428449
    Not all Rogue Traders are totally okay with completely flouting all the laws, ideals and beliefs of the Imperium.

    Only some.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:12 No.7428459
    I've had it with these motherfucking greenskins on this motherfucking cruiser.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:12 No.7428463
    Counts as murder servitors. Problem solved.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:13 No.7428468
    Ogryns! and lots of them!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:13 No.7428469
    Actually, I think I know what the easiest solution is.

    Import to your ship a breeding group of Catachan Barking Toads.

    Set them loose, gently, into the ork-held areas.

    >> Supreme Commisar-Philosopher 01/04/10(Mon)18:13 No.7428471
    The enemy of your enemy is your enemy, but he can keep your enemy occupied.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:13 No.7428475
    Just dont go down there.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:13 No.7428476
    "Thinking?! Who the hell do you think you are?! You'll think what I tell you to think! Jenkins, take this man to the brig immediately."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:14 No.7428488
    Personally, I'm for the proposal of dropping them off on a few random worlds. Minor Ork incursions tend to be mopped up pretty quick. Sure, you'll probably end up with a system-spanning Waaagh or two, but that's nothing the Hammer of the Emperor can't handle, right?
    >> Warboss Metalitron !iXPBxua1AM 01/04/10(Mon)18:14 No.7428493
    Ain't no metal bits gonna keep da boyz out fer long!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:14 No.7428496
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:14 No.7428497
    Ok so here is what you do, Find yourself a nice little bio weapon, like a virus. Take that virus and flood the ship with it, then vent all of the oxygen out of the ship, ALL of it. And then resupply your ship, Lots of dead orcs, cleanup will be a bitch. I Suggest using flamers to purge the lower decks.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:15 No.7428501
    1-Set ship on collision course with Eldar craftworld
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:16 No.7428515
    Can't you cut a hole in the ship from the outside?
    >> Jenkins 01/04/10(Mon)18:16 No.7428526



    ".....Right away, sir!"

    *Marches off the command deck*
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:17 No.7428533
    This makes me happy. I want this.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:17 No.7428543
         File1262647076.jpg-(134 KB, 1024x768, Zapp.jpg)
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    What this cruiser needs is a man.

    And that man's name is Zapp Brannigan!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:18 No.7428556
    "Sir, we've just detected a total of four..."
    (Ship audibly shakes)
    "*Five* hull breaches. "
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:18 No.7428559
    Inquisitor Brannigan.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:18 No.7428563
    Eldrad was here. That craftworld is actually Holy Terra.
    >> [Subject Name Here] 01/04/10(Mon)18:18 No.7428567
    >> Warboss Metalitron !iXPBxua1AM 01/04/10(Mon)18:19 No.7428574
    Creed here. it was Eldrad's bedroom.
    >> Zapp Brannigan 01/04/10(Mon)18:19 No.7428579
    Jenkins, my thinking follows the rules of Brannigans law, and Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast. YOU think long-term!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:19 No.7428582
    "Will I lose my letter of marque over this?"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:20 No.7428601
    Rogue Trader vessels captained by Zapp Brannigan.
    >> Sauber !f1v85QnTcU 01/04/10(Mon)18:20 No.7428602
    Negotiate with the orks so that you cut the ship in half and make it detachable, so that you can deploy the orkz at your discretion.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:21 No.7428603

    Heh, just remembered the thread where we realized that Zap Brannigan probably would be a highly decorated and widely popular Imperal Commander.
    >> Jenkins 01/04/10(Mon)18:21 No.7428605

    "Aye sir!"

    "......Can I leave the brig yet, sir? There aren't any guards here, as they're all too busy trying to herd the Catachan Devil to the lower decks."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:21 No.7428617
    inform the orks in an orky voice somehow that one of them is actually the man-god in cunning disguise and 1st to kill him recieves gork's blessing and many teef, let them kill each other, kill survivor. easy
    >> /d/eviating ca/tg/irl 01/04/10(Mon)18:23 No.7428636

    Guess who does not have to follow those laws?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:23 No.7428641
    Is there any way to shrink your ship's geller field? You could create a bubble that only covers the top decks, get everyone up there, then do a warp jump and let the orks get eaten by daemons.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:24 No.7428646
    Couldn't you just fill the ork section of the ship with oxygen and wait until 1 of them makes a spark?

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:24 No.7428654
    "Leave it to me, Jenkins! I will tame this sultry, sexy beast."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:24 No.7428656
    Knowing orks it wouldent take long....
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:24 No.7428657
    ..What happens to Orkz in a vacuum? Do they retain consciousness and coherence? If not the best solution could be to turn off all life support systems and pass out the spacesuits, preferably not in that order.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:25 No.7428659

    ".....Sir, a Catachan Devil is......oh, nevermind."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:25 No.7428665

    Solider: Why is this godforsaken ship worth dying for?
    Imperial Captain Brannigan: Don't ask me. You're the ones who are going to be dying.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:25 No.7428667
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:26 No.7428672
    Inquisitors? Yeah, I think it's Inquisitors actually. That's what you were getting at, right? Because Rogue Traders totally do.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:26 No.7428676
    I have a solution, Ork soup, invent a tasty new treat called Ork soup, goto other planets and sell ork soup, until ofc you have run out of orks to make ork soup.
    >> Zapp Brannigan 01/04/10(Mon)18:27 No.7428694
    Need I remind you, Jenkins, that I can't learn much, as I suffer from a very sexy learning disability... what did I call it?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:28 No.7428703

    Alternatively, fill the ork section of the ship with water, and then vent that section into space. The water should freeze fairly quickly, trapping the orks and their spores in one giant ice block (assuming the spores haven't used the air vents to spread to other sections of the ship already).

    Then sell the ork-cicle!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:28 No.7428707
    Paint some Ogryns green, send them down their to infiltrate their society, gain their trust, mate with their women... errr and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:28 No.7428712
    Just leave them there.

    Make sure the part of the ship that they occupy is pretty spare on naval defenses, making it a prime spot for a naval boarding.

    That should solve most of your problems.
    >> /d/eviating ca/tg/irl 01/04/10(Mon)18:28 No.7428714

    Rouge traders are allowed to deal with Xenos.
    >> Jenkins 01/04/10(Mon)18:28 No.7428718
    Ugh... sexlexia.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:29 No.7428719
    Have orks ever been explored as a renewable food source? Or are they poisonous?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:29 No.7428736
    Use Orks as part of twisted genetic experiment to give some of them female bodies.

    Convince them that sex is just another type of fighting.

    Since Orks don't actually sexually reproduce, you've just found a way to distract them that doesn't involve leaving their spores all over the place.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:30 No.7428748
    'dealing with Xenos' is not treason, heresy or piracy nor does license to do it prevent indictment on any of those charges.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:30 No.7428754

    According to one of the Codices, when the tyranids were trying to consume the orks, the ork spores were internally trying to kill the tyranids.

    So yeah, they'd probably kill humans.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:31 No.7428755
         File1262647863.jpg-(339 KB, 1200x867, orkbike.jpg)
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    Oi, teejee!

    We wuz on a space hulk, see, waitin for it ta drift somewhere wiv a good fight to be 'ad. But da humies done looted the bit of da hulk we wuz on! Is a roit shooty cruiza, now, wiv a real big shoota an four batt'ries ov big dakka, but da 'umies have da command deck an wotnot!

    We'v got deze ideas:

    -Krump da 'umies!
    -Get me a bigga hat an a coat an tell 'em Oi'm da new Kaptin!

    TL;DR: 'umies on da cruiza, wot do?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:31 No.7428757
    They reproduce by spores, depending on how tough these spores are, eating Ork Soup could lead to disasterous if not horrifying concequences.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:32 No.7428767
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:33 No.7428777
    Make a pact with orks

    Become freebooterz
    >> Fault 01/04/10(Mon)18:33 No.7428779
    Man, Someone's gotta do a Webcomic of this.

    Or at least archive it, for future reference.
    >> Dogstar !!MgA31eRve7T 01/04/10(Mon)18:34 No.7428801
    And then instead of orks he's got daemons on the lower decks. BRILLIANT!

    Nah. I like the idea posted elsewhere - find a way to convince the orks to make drop pods and plop them onto a gas giant or a HERESY-infested world. Think of them as a resource.
    Just... send out extra patrols and make absofuckinglutely sure they can't get up to you, or you'll be flying your awesome new ship INTO a planet.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:36 No.7428832
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:37 No.7428842
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:38 No.7428863
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:38 No.7428868

    Shaddup, yew lot!

    If we just sit tight, da 'umies might try ta get rid ov us by sendin fings wot they fink might krump us! We just wait, an they bring da fight to us!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:40 No.7428892
    Pump Promethium into the lower decks. I can't see a flaw in this plan.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:41 No.7428920
    Excellent idea, Jenkins! Bring me my cigars to celebrate!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:41 No.7428923

    Except the possible creation of the first orkish promethium tycoon.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:41 No.7428928
    Turn you's part of da space 'ulk into an even bigga shoota an den use dat bit ta krump da 'umies!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:42 No.7428939

    'umies is stupid an weak an don't like to foit. Tell em we'll foit for em if dey give us teef an dakka an bomms an wotnot!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:44 No.7428969
    Seal off the decks. Let the orks starve.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:45 No.7428979
    Somehow aquire, and subsequently let off a virus bomb in the lower decks. Making sure to evacuate the ship temporarily and seal the bridge areas. Orks melt into sludge, gasses let off will iginite and everything, including the sludge burns, destroying the spores aswell.

    Wait for flames to die down and retake the ship.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:45 No.7428984
    you'ze mukkin' about.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:47 No.7429009
    You guys are all idiots.

    Just do this! Best plan ever
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:48 No.7429020

    Indeed, lets set off ordinance intended for depopulating a world inside a spaceship.

    For that matter could you not just sell the bomb and buy a new cruiser?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:49 No.7429030
    I run Orks as monsters, so that wouldn't work so well in my game.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:50 No.7429049
    Jenkins, escort this man off my bridge!
    >> Commissar Internet !!49Ay+6zEbfG 01/04/10(Mon)18:51 No.7429066
    Befriend the orks. Convince them that The Emprah is the Biggest, Baddest Boss EVAR, pay them shitloads of teef and stuff, and give them something to fight. Suddenly, Orkperial Guard.
    >> ITT Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:53 No.7429100
    -Some poor sod has Orks on his ship
    -/tg/ offers dozens of ways to massively exacerbate the problem
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:56 No.7429148
         File1262649405.jpg-(44 KB, 450x264, hulk9.jpg)
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    what we are going to do is go through the lower decks and let the orks know that this is our ship, and they can move to a perfectly good death world

    fookin orks
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:57 No.7429155

    Seconded. Do it NAOUGHW!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)18:58 No.7429174
    oh god.
    District 9 with orks.
    >> Warboss Metalitron !iXPBxua1AM 01/04/10(Mon)19:00 No.7429209
         File1262649620.gif-(93 KB, 500x324, Shaun_of_the_Dead_Shaun_Ed.gif)
    93 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:01 No.7429236
    I never said eat it yourself, Roam around selling this ork soup to famine ridden planets. Who cares about what happens there afterwards lol
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:02 No.7429254
    Well for one thing, Imperial Inquisitors.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:05 No.7429283
    They are not all that scary, just feed THEM ork soup!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:05 No.7429300
    Or just feed them or the Orks, gotta keep that livestock fed.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:06 No.7429302
    Travel to find someone both willing & able to burn every single one of those Orks for you. If you next dock at a forgeworld, ask for Skitari to save the machine-spirit of your ship from the Ork taint; if a civilised world either ask for PDF or simply send in wave after wave of hired scum, and if you stumble across Spehss Marines then ask for their services in Cleansing the Xenos taint from one of the Emperor's vessels.

    There's no shortage of Imperial armies that would be willing to kill them for you, the only question is if you've got anything onboard that might cause more problems then the Orks if some Soldier of the Imperium stumbles across it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:07 No.7429313
    Also you will owe these people a favour.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:07 No.7429320

    Ork Soup, fixes all your problems or your Throne Gelt back.

    Best of all, it is such an insane infection vector that it might be easily overlooked.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:08 No.7429326
    >Law abiding Imperial citizens Shaun and Ed wake up one day to find their local cozy hive overrun by Orks
    shenanigans ensue
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:08 No.7429327
    Hire Mario, explain that the Orks are just giant Goombas, problem solved.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)19:08 No.7429328
    I'm sure that the Orks won't be your biggest concern once you find the ASTRAL HOUNDS in the women's locker room.
    >> fault 01/04/10(Mon)20:14 No.7429377
         File1262654059.png-(24 KB, 643x1051, orkz.png)
    24 KB
    substitute zapp brannigan or trollface for third panel.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:21 No.7429393
    I once used warp servitors that released astral hound packs on destruction. In unlit sewers. On Landunder, so the sewers were the worst parts of a toxic chemical sea and flooding was a constant risk. Of both flooding and the release of giant poison-spitting megasharks.

    Players hated me for that one.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:21 No.7429398
    >> fault 01/04/10(Mon)20:22 No.7429404
         File1262654579.png-(24 KB, 643x1051, boyz.png)
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    goddamn. Image error. Lemme try this again.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:25 No.7429431
    >Disguise a Lifter-Sentinel as an Ork, convince them that its the new boss.

    If you considered any option other than this for more than 0.2 microseconds you do not belong on /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:29 No.7429493
    I desire to play.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:45 No.7429647
    Haha, oh man. If you had the guardsman in a gas mask, and the captain saying "Decimus" instead of Jenkins, that would be our ship.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:46 No.7429657

    How do Orks gain intelligence when they have been existing in the holds of a ship for their entirety. I don't think its that improbable, I mean a sentinel wouldn't work but maybe a huge guy in like power armor or something.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:50 No.7429704
    Genetic Memory, like the Mekboys the Orks have, They dont know why they know they just KNOW
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:54 No.7429754
    Ork soup its WAAAAAAAGH
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:57 No.7429794
    "But sir, we are not on the bridge, we are in the bathroom"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)20:59 No.7429815
    "Dammit Jenkins, how many times have I told you to not contradict me"
    Jenkins: "Sir.... You dident finish, you just urinated on yourself."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:01 No.7429841
    Get lots of teef. Make armor, throne, and crown out of teef. Parley with warboss with grenades. Convince them in your best orky voice that you're the flashiest warboss ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:05 No.7429887

    And then it turns out that these Orks hate the Flash Gitz, and will take great pleasure in your krumping.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:06 No.7429911
    Flush them out by playing terrible music. What songs do Orks hate?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:09 No.7429949
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:11 No.7429975
    BETTER YET, Play some heavy metal, Get them in the fighting mood, but keep the locked up. Eventually they will turn on eachother, hopefully thinning their numbers to a level where you can manage to purge them
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:25 No.7430159
    Somebody, archieve this thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:28 No.7430214

    See that would make sense, hence it's likely out of the question.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)21:38 No.7430340

    You do realize that this will just make them stronger, right?
    >> inquisitive fa/tg/uy 01/04/10(Mon)22:28 No.7431002
    I can't wait for the adventures of Captain, Jenkins, and da freebootas! It'll be the best show EVER!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)22:33 No.7431060
    >In any case, even if we get all the Orks off the ship, we're likely to be so spore-infested that we'll never truly be rid of them.


    The remodeling, repainting and flamer fuel will be cheap compared to living with an Ork infestation.
    >> inquisitive fa/tg/uy 01/04/10(Mon)22:37 No.7431104
    NOOO! Soup up a techpriest with the best suit ever, BECOME DA BOSS! Now your party has a waaaaaaaaagh! up it's sleeve! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!
    "Wait, these supplies are expired!"
    "what are you going to do about it?"
    "Nothing, but my green friends might have another idea..."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)22:42 No.7431162
    spring cleeeaaaaniiiing!
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)22:57 No.7431375
    Honestly I'm inclined to go with the Catachan Barking Toads. Especially since your ship is larger than the blast/viral assrape radius.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)22:58 No.7431394
    Viral? I thought those were the toads that exploded like nuclear bombs, you telling me they're also toxic?
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)23:06 No.7431526
    TO THE BEST OF MY UNDERSTANDING, they don't actually explode very strongly, its more that the payload of said explosion is probably the natural virus which was eventually refined into the one used by the imperium:
    Its effects are toxic enough to kill all known lifeforms (Including the toads) in a ludicrously short space of time, and it can penetrate power armour.

    Also one must use some discretion in the particular species used since some go off like a spore mine, but the Greater Barking Toad goes off with a 1km viral assrape radius (Which, given if can penetrate power armour, may also penetrate hull decking), which would be very suitable for your needs.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)23:10 No.7431577
    1km in an open space, in the confines of a ship it could easily spread further, and with the ventilation system... It would be dispursed through the whole ship.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)23:11 No.7431590
    ...So just vent an intervening layer of decks to space.
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)23:16 No.7431652
    I mean arguably the same countermeasures apply as if you were just using a straight virus bomb on board, the difference is that the structure of the ship won't recieve as much damage, and theres less chance of the Orks somehow preventing it from detonating.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)23:16 No.7431654
    Celine Dion or Cher
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)23:35 No.7431880
    That would probably just make them even angrier!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)00:32 No.7432690
    Bump for plan.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)03:00 No.7435049

    24/7 elevator muzzak.

    They'll kill each other within a week
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:23 No.7436782
    I vote for the "get someone else to do it" plan
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:26 No.7436810
    Um... you had to cut through decks to get to them, right?

    .....why didn't you just fucking leave them alone?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:28 No.7436818


    I love this fucking thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:29 No.7436822
    Become the new warboss and use your orks to fight battles for you.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:38 No.7436862
    "Jenkin's, do you have the number for Domino's pizza?"
    "Sir, Jenkins is in the brig."
    "You're the new Jenkins then."
    "Get them to do it."
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)06:42 No.7436884

    "Get them to clear out the Orks, deliver your favourite pizza, or both, sir?"
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:44 No.7436899
    "Both Jenkins. I won't pay them unless they do both."
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)06:46 No.7436912

    "....right away sir."



    "Sir, we have a slight problem....."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:51 No.7436936
    "We're outside of their thirty minute window, aren't we?"
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)06:52 No.7436945

    ".....uh, no sir."

    "The Orks have been placing orders under your name and have been killing the delivery pilots."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:55 No.7436966
    "Ah. So now the damned Orks have mopeds. Ideas, Jenkins?"
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)06:57 No.7436976

    "We could try ordering chinese, sir."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)06:59 No.7436986
    Wave after Wave of men.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:00 No.7436990
    "Yes! Jenkins, the chinese! Of course. Ring Chairman Mao and have him sort those Orks out."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:01 No.7437001
         File1262692915.jpg-(40 KB, 300x163, spaceherpes_jpg_w300h163.jpg)
    40 KB

    space herpes
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:02 No.7437006

    "......Sir, Chairman Mao has been dead for several millenia."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:04 No.7437024
    "Damnation. Any chance of some duck soup at all?"
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:07 No.7437041

    "One second, sir, I'll just check."



    "Sir, the chinese restaurant reports that the Deathwatch and Necrons are currently fighting across the all-you-can-eat buffet, and they can't get a delivery to us."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:10 No.7437057
    "I really don't want to eat Cook's dinner again. Do the Orks do food?"
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:13 No.7437080

    ".....I doubt it, sir, but I'll check for you."


    "Yes? Hello? No, this isn't mucking about. Do you do food? Hello? Hello?"

    ".....sadly, they hung up on me. Something about a giant lizard being ridden by genestealers fighting the other tribe of orks down there, sir."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:15 No.7437097
    "I will not eat Cook's watercress! Bugger it. I'll skip dinner."
    "Jenkin's? Are the drive vents working?"
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:17 No.7437107

    ".....according to the instruments, they are sir."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:19 No.7437125
    "Jenkin's, tweak them a bit. Open them, but not fully."
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:21 No.7437141

    "Sir, with all due respect, I'm only trained to open the bridge doors, not to operate the ship drive systems!"
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:23 No.7437152
    "Oh yeah. That's Adept Zoren's job. Is he still in the brig?"
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:26 No.7437171

    "Yessir. Along with Jenkins, Astropath Taris, Techpriest Morris, the servitors, and Lord-Navigator Von Strack, sir."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:28 No.7437183
    "I suppose you had better let him out. It was only the last piece of toast he ate, after all. Two years was a little much I think."
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:30 No.7437192

    "Right away, sir."

    ".....you do appreciate that there isn't anyone on the bridge except us, and the trip to the brig will take a while?"
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:32 No.7437207
    "Insolent tone aside, Jenkins, uh, no. I didn't."
    "Be snappy man. it's only two hours till dinner."
    "Wait! Get Cook to do it."
    >> New Jenkins 01/05/10(Tue)07:35 No.7437222

    "......right away, sir."

    (I'm going to stop now, as I have damned revision to do today. Good luck, captain.)
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:37 No.7437244
    (Righto. New Jenkins anyone?)
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:45 No.7437310
    Samefag is easily bored. Samefag is leaving. For now.
    >> Adept Zoren 01/05/10(Tue)07:48 No.7437335
    You know, the genestealers might try to start one of their kults with the orks in there. Genestealers and orks in close prozimity and a small, closed in population.

    Orkstealers. Yuppp, we're fucked.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)07:53 No.7437371
    Epic thread guys.
    Well done.
    Someone 1d4chan this.
    >> OP 01/05/10(Tue)07:56 No.7437388
    >>Epic thread

    And I still never truly got any good advice. :( Still, it became something pretty funny.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)08:17 No.7437505
    Only way to get rid of them is vent plasma in there or deck by deck flamepurge EVERYTHING.

    Or if it's a trash incinerator, like you said >>7428107
    just turn the thing on.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)08:24 No.7437538
    Samefag back again just to ask; do we really mean drive plasma, or actually drive coolant (because, y'know, plasma would seriously fuck the ship up)?
    >> OP 01/05/10(Tue)08:28 No.7437571
    We can't turn it on because its on a separate system from the ship, and there isn't enough promethium left in the tanks that ran it to clear out all the orks.

    Also, Orks have a toughness bonus of 8, and being on fire is only d10 damage a round, reduced by armor. Being on fire is only a minor annoyance for Orks.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)08:30 No.7437602
    Then you should...
    ...refill the tanks!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)08:33 No.7437632
    Okay here is what you do. Land somewhere, anywhere really. Drop off everyone except a skeleton crew. Just enough to make the ship fly and enough to land it.

    Have them all put on their space suits. Vent all the atmosphere. Shut down life support. Shut down fucking everything. Give it a few hours to make sure nothing could possibly still be alive down there.

    Land the ship and have the guardsmen purge the lower levels with flamethrowers. In fact, purge fucking everything that could possibly have spores. Vent plasma through the ventilation system or something while you are still up in space. Just make sure there is no way they could be coming back.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)08:34 No.7437639
    Promethium only, on a starship-sized trash incinerator?

    Well, you can safely assume that every structure in a trash incinerator is trash. Vent plasma from the warp core.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)08:50 No.7437779
    That, and get some tech adept to repair the waste disposal unit so you can turn it on again.
    >> LDT-A 01/05/10(Tue)08:57 No.7437832
    I love how everyone is just magically ignoring all "vent drive plasma" based solutions in favour of coming up with ridiculous solutions and complaining that all the solutions suggested are ridiculous
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)09:16 No.7438013
    orks wont work for weak humies for that long. they will take over the ship.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)12:12 No.7439572
    I've got it! Send in /b/! I know they'll be worse after but, meh. Jenkins will clear them up.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)12:21 No.7439672
    I said JENKINS!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/10(Tue)12:25 No.7439710


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