The fact the first 12 dark crusades failed to conquer the Imperium leaves me less than confident in your leadership, Abaddon...

Out of all your ideas, this is really abaddone

We don't need arms where we're going!

Dammit Abaddon... just... just give up already...
And how about letting Kharn have a go for once! You know how he gets...

C'mon guys! the 13th is the charm, rigth?

His keyboards must have to be fucking enormous.

>>13082373

I know... but he is sooo into MAIM KILL BURN!

I'm with Talos.

Fuck the "Warmaster."

>>13082377
Can't let you do that, Abaddon.

>>13082329

oh god I lol'd

>>13082388

this is my keyboard, why you asking?

>>13082438
We already stopped you from doing that, Abbadon
>>Abbadon's throne is Titans

Fixed that for you.

>>13082438

'sup Creed, would you let me do my Dark Crusade? I'm kind of feeling the presure of the dark gods rigth now

>>13082495
Sorry, Abbadon old boy, but I have a reputation to uphold.
Enjoy the Shadowsword in your armor.

Sorry bro, cant join, need a new codex for that you see.

>>13082544

FUCK GW!!! that's why I couldn't maintain a nice Dark Crusade!!!!

>>13082529

C'mon Creed I have little chaos demons to maintain

Blood Raven here, we got your arms and they're now a chapter relic, good luck running a crusade without them faggot.

>>13082583
And I have a little thing called "bitches and glory" to maintain.

Abaddon! Enough with these blasted crusades! Same thing OVER AND OVER. It's too predictable! How do you think Creed keeps putting Baneblades in your office!?!

>>13082608
Hey, it was a Banesword last time.

>>13082608
I just had a great mental image of Abaddon opening the door to his office, and there's a Baneblade busted through the wall and a cigar resting on his desk with a smiley face on it.

>>13082608

The whole damn building is made out of Baneblades. Plus, your damn Black Crusades always leave a damn hole in the budget.

>>13082583
Well... ill just keep buildian buildings, fortifying fortifications, mining the minefields, wiring the razors and munition the ammo in the meantime.

VOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!

>>13082608

I don't know how he can do it, sir! please one let me do it more time, this time I know that I can make it!!!

>>13082659

WHOOPS! Wrong world, fucking eclipses

>>13082670
The other gods and I have discussed this, your fired. Pack your shit and leave.

>>13082313
I chuckled heartily.

but.. sure, I guess. the warp does get kinda boring after awhile. what do you have in mind, failbadon?

>>13082632

WOW! who put that big box on my office? it isn't my birtd... wait a minute, CREEEEEED FUUUUUU---

Why don't you kill off the Eldar? Make use of their Webway gates, or stem a full-fledged Ork uprising to draw their forces away! Dammit, where's Nurgle when you need him?

>>13082640

Yes, it seems someone misplaced the funding for the next crusade.

You guys do know that there was already a 13th Black Crusade and Abbadon pretty much won right? Right? It was a big player driven campaign called the Eye of Terror campaign one summer. By the end of the campaign, Cadia was reduced to a smoldering hellscape ruled by the Lost and the Damned with only a few pockets of resistance here and there. The only thing keeping Chaos from spilling into the Segmentum Solar was the fact the Imperials still controlled the Space Lanes. The Imperials may spend the next few hundred years pouring troops onto Cadia to drive out the forces of Chaos but the planet will never be the same.

Only reason I point this out is because I goddamn participated in that campaign and was proud when we actually won.

>>13082710

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---

>>13082703

Now now Tzeentchy boy, i think we should all just sit right here and just relax, what's the rush?

>>13082683

BUT, but, but.... I have a ponytail!!!

>>13082713

Not canon anymor

So how are the bitches new synthetic breasts? I want the best magos of Mars working on it, after all we-

Whoops, wrong line.

>>13082733

Would you be kind enough to point to a source that states that? Because I fell out of the game a while back and I will rage if a victory I helped achieve gets flushed down the drain because years later somebody at the head office decided they didn't like the results despite the fact we were promised to have an actual effect on the 40k canon.

>>13082725
No one cares about the pony tail. By the way, you left your naga furry.

>>13082721

Abaddon here is planning to cause a 13th Crusade against the Imperials, he's drying up our funding and the damn Deciever is fucking with us too. How about you get up off of your bloated ass and tell Khorne to stop worrying about his retarded skull collection so we can get shit DONE!

>>13082703

I would do it sir, if I wasn't stoped by those meddling marines and their stupid dog!!!

>>13082725
Not god enough Baddon... try this,

>>13082767

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/13th_Black_Crusade

"which resulted in a minor victory for the forces of Chaos and gave Abaddon a foothold in the Cadian Gate, though he suffered grevious losses to his fleet.

While the ground is largely controlled by the forces of Chaos, the skies above Cadia are almost entirely ruled by Admiral Quarren and the entire Battle Fleet Groups: Gothic and Solar and elements of several chapters of Space Marines, leaving the results open as the battle rages on. Having both space and air superiority gives a significant advantage to the Imperial forces, allowing the deployment of fresh troops and the bombardment of Abaddon's army. "

Sources are on the bottom.

Abby, maybe it's time you let a *real* Warmaster take command, eh?

>>13082786

Why don't you tell him? Don't have his number? Let me just call him... Where's the phone... Ah not my ass crack again, well let's see..

5-55-skull-blood

Here's the phone

>>13082755

>implying i didn't just ship all those tits to the Eye of Terror

>>13082829

Eh.. dammit, fine.

Khorne! KHORNE! I know you're there! ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE! He had better not be having sex with those damn skulls again...

>>13082824

>pussy ass deceitful backstabing coward leading the Black crusades

MAYBE I SHOULD SLAP YOUR SHIT YOU HOMOSEXUAL MIDGET WANKER PIECE OF SHIT

>>13082866
Yea, hello? I was just looking at the skulls, not doing anything weird with them.

>>13082877
>>13082878

Fuck, i can't tell who the real one is.

>>13082892

I'm the real one, just playing with my skulls that's all

>>13082878

Alright... We need to do something about Abaddon.
90% of our funding is down the drain, and he doesn't have any arms... We need a plan.

>>13082877
Hey, I'm not the one who beats people up to feel better about myself.

Why are you even in this discussion anyway? You should be opposing the Black Crusades. Conquest of the galaxy means there won't be anymore enemies left. Once all your followers sacrifice themselves, where are you going to get more skulls?

Either start thinking straight or get the fuck out.

>>13082794

Sure sounds like the same fluff from the campaign itself but with a spin on it. Nothing there states the campaign is non-canon. So the forces of Chaos are responsible for the destruction of two entire planets in the Cadian system. Two planets. Blown up. One got shown the main gun of the Planet Killer and the other was a penal world we had completely reduced to 0% Imperial control and thus the guys who ran the campaign had the Imperials blow the planet up to refuse Abbadon the new recruits.

Hell, the control percentage gauge on the planets themselves had Cadia at 20-30% Imperial Control and Cadia is supposed to be the most powerful Imperial stronghold outside of the Solar System.

And yet this is a minor victory... Sounds to me like the folks at Games Workshop weren't prepared for anything other than a tie.

>>13082291
>>13082291
Do they make this model anymore?

GW or Forge world?

Khorne!
Sargaz and his squad need some bloodlust when we breach the fortress at Gungan Prime.... you digg?

>>13082791

WOW, nice ponytail, wait, where it goes?

>>mfw

>>13082920

>Once all your followers sacrifice themselves, where are you going to get more skulls?

FROM YOU AND YOUR PUSSY LEGION FOR STARTERS!

>>13082911
I've already fired the dumb basterd. We need someone to replace him.

>>13082911

HOW ABOUT I GRAB YOU BY THE NECK AND THROW YOU AT CADIA? Oh wait, fucking Necron Pylons.

How about we grab all the demons we can and throw them at Cadia?

>>13082927

>Sounds to me like the folks at Games Workshop weren't prepared for anything other than a tie.

>Implying GW didn't already have all the results pre-planned a year before the campaign began.

>>13082959

How about Kharn? KHAAAAAAAAAAARN GET IN HERE

>>13082942
Uh-huh. Then what?

There are only a finite number of beings in existence.Your nature compels you to slay everything.

It might take billions of years, but eventually you'll run out of things to kill. Now, Slaanesh is a guy (?) who knows how to roll. He (?) gets as much out of life as possible, but you just waste your time lopping heads off without any foresight.

Perhaps we need a new Blood God. You're hardly qualified for the position.

>>13082978


THAT'S IT! I'M COMING OVER

DARK GODS!!! I HAVE FOUND AN ANCIENT RELIC THAT WILL LEAD US TO VICTORY!!!

should I show it?

>>13082965

Sounds like a plan. Alpharius you're hired, Abaddon, you're fired.

PREPARE THE CANNONS!!!

>>13082976

Hey Khorne! My favorite ancient blood god, what can I do for ya'?

>>13082995

You mean this Relic we just stole from your ship? lol

>>13083003
Replace him, for a start.

"Sam and Max, Freelance Inquisitors."
"Who's on the phone, Sam?"
"The God-Emperor of Mankind, little buddy. Says Abaddon is starting up another one of those Black Crusades of his, and he wants us to put a stop to it."
"With maximum collateral damage?"
"I don't see how we'd do it any other way, little buddy."

>>13082939
Its an invitation token... to lucious party.
Guess you didnt get an invitation, but you can have mine... im not going.

>>13082995
Come here again and I'm getting a warrant on your head! This sounds weird coming from my position.

>>13083003

YOU'RE LEADING THE 13th CRUSADE! KILL EVERYONE. What? Tzeentch got Alpharius as the leader?

YOU FUCKING BIRD WIZARD PIECE OF SHIT. DIDN'T YOU LEARN A THING WHEN I BROKE YOUR STAFF? KHAAAAAAAAAARN! WE START WITH THE ALPHA LEGION!

>>13083022

you wrote that pretty well man. definitely read that in their voice

>>13083022
Fuck yes!
Thread needs to be saved just for this one post!

>>13083039

HEY FUCK YOU I'VE FIXED IT!!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH DUCT TAPE!!... *sniff*

Heh, bunch of god failures.

>>13083039
Let's do it then,

LEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEENNNNNKINS!

always this fucking bickering..........

>LOL U FALE 12 TIMES.
Abbaddon led about half of those, and it was never his goal to conquer the Imperium.

>>13083065

Disregard that, I suck cocks.

Where the fuck is my ship! YOU SAID YOU'D HAVE MY SHIP DECEIVER

>>13083039
Great, this is turning into the first Black Crusade all over again, Khorne yelling at anything with two horns and threatening to destroy our stuff if we don't due everything by his word. Chaos undivided, my ass.

Now then, to the matter of Creed.

I suggest infiltrating the Imperial Fleet with our loyal followers, then attacking en masse in a few generations and bombarding Cadia's cities and bases from orbit. That way, Creed will have nowhere to hide, groundside industry will grind to a halt, and the Baneblade facilities will be destroyed. Abaddon can stop his bitching, and the Imperium loses a vital fortress-world. It'll take a long time, but it should pay off.

>>13083086

It's RIGHT HERE IN THE EYE OF TERROR GOD DAMN JUST TAKE IT YOU YOU DOUBLE DEATH!

>>13083084
Whatever the fuck you're doing you go back into Mars and do it.

>>13083076
Hey, cut Baddon some slack, remember Doombreed?

If we ever get this shit going again, i will personally sypply Baddon with fresh arms.

BEHOLD!!! THIS GREAT ARTIFACT!!

am I doing it right?

>>13083091

MAYBE I WOULDN'T YELL IF YOU FUCKERS WOULD JUST FUCKING KILL THE IMPERIUM GOD DAMN FUCK

whats going on in her...

ohhh shit...

>>13083114

Yeah? What are you going to do sitting in that fucking toiled eh? I just replaced the nipples of your new sororitas synthetic tits with Pylons.

We need Doomrider in this Black Crusade as well.

Now now Khorny boy, just relax a bit.

>>13083122
Great now there's something better then a paper bag.

uh, Chaos gods sirs? your worshipfullnesses? What are you orders? Im hearing a lot of conflicting orders, and i just want to do the right thing. any help would be appreciated

>>13083138
I tried calling yesterday, but I only got his answering machine spirit. Fulgrim says he's in rehab for sobriety.

>>13083154

B-b-but this mortal fucker is calling me a failure! I CAN'T LET THAT SLIP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>13083138

Alright, we also need to tell Fulgrim, Angron, Mortarion, Magnus and Lorgar to get the fuck over here and do something as well.

>>13083173

JUST SHOOT AT LOYALISTS YOU INCOMPETENT PIECE OF SHIT! SHOOT STAB CUT CRUSH

>>13083133
Hey, at least I can shit, robot.

Heey graaamps, why dont you tell them about that shitstorm you so kindly showed me?

>>13083178
i think i found the next best thing Lord

>>13083178

Ok... Fulgrim is out of the question, but the others need to get here.

>>13083173

Try to get me some Eldar souls while your at it, I need a snack.

>>13083213

MAAAAAAAAAAAAH BOI you're totally right, listen up Tzeentchy, Khorny and Baby slanesh. I got this new plague that essentially turns all the water in a planet into piss, the air in to farts and the rain into shit.

LOOK DARK GODS! this time I even have chaos sororitas to make the dark crusade!

>>13083205

Don't you look at me like that faggot, i'll turn your toilet into a blender!

I love land raiders...

>>13083237

Hmm... that's fucking disgusting... I like it, how soon can it be ready?

"Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!"
"You are disturbingly good at that, little buddy. I mean, fellow cultist of the Ruinous Powers. Now ssh, I think I hear the Dark Gods in the next room."
"Ooh, can we call in the Exterminatus, Sam? Please please?"
"Exterminatusi are expensive, Max, and we can barely afford socks, what with your purging everyone we see."
"Can I help it if I've memorized the 4,968 official signs of heresy?"

>>13083195
Fuck you Tzeentch!
You`ll regret it, wont save the day this time, come on warsmith, lets get out of here.

>>13083278

It was ready... 35 minutes ago.

>>13083278
It sounds like my one of my fetishes gone bad.

>>13083293

Is there such a thing?

>>13083251

Hehe, yeah. Nurgle seemed to have shitstorms covered already though. You're losing your touch old man.

>>13083197
i hope this pleases you great one.

>>13083307
Yes and don't ask. By the way, we should be aware of the two inquisitors running around here.

>>13083289

Sorry, I just can't remember your name for the life of me.
You can come too.

I just love how Grampa brings all the gods together.

>>13083232
working on it oh fantabulous one, but it is proving harder that anticipate.

>>13083322
Submit to the light of the Emperor, Chaos filth.

>ITT: Traitors and Heretics
"Stop right there, criminal scum!!"

>>13083339
I said Eldar! Not Dark Eldar! Learn the difference one day and you may become a daemon.

>>13083311

HEY! I don't deal with the biological.

>>13083311
Damnit, I just saw all the heresy in here. Exuse me a moment foul xenos.

WHAT THE FUCK IS CHAOS DOING HERE?

Excuse me, I am looking for the nearest flight to Terra... for... matters most critical to the well being of the Imperium of Man... Yes, that's it.

>>13083350

Get the fuck out or I'll turn one of you into a giant dildo and shove you up the others ass!

MUUAHAHAHAHA!! FUCKERS!

>>13083382
Let me use it! :D

>>13083374

This ship goes right to Terra.

Meeting adjourned

>>13083383
The shit has hit the fan.
>>13083382
Come at me, bro.

"Great Anorexic Adeptus Astartes, little buddy, they're onto us!"
"Sam, would it really be so bad to be caught by Slaanesh?"
"Great Canned Custodes, they've gotten to him. Time to get out of here and nuke this place from orbit."
"It's the only way to be sure!"

Guys I am feeling relaxed these days, I took up gardening and you should see the little baby tomatoes I got outback....but anyways....

Whats Abby doin? Another crusade, awww fuggit, yeah im in. Let me just stub my toe <whack> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WILL KILL EVERYTHING, I AM ANGRON!!!!

Rawr

>>13083370

nnnothing emprah, keep movving, we are not planning a 13th dark crusade or anything like that

Hey, does anyone know where's the Skull throne.

>>13083416
Yes! With me, for Humanity!

>>13083359
IM SORRY MY LORD!! I will begin the self-flagellation after we secure some Eldar for you oh OUTRAGEOUS one

PURGE THE UNCLEAN

>>13083427
Rape time, Sam & Max!

>>13083456

LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR A HARVEST BOYS!

>>13083462
Why is there three inquistors in here now?

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH BRING ME MORE SKULLS!

>>13083410
Ah! The Deceiver! I know of you, I happened to have abso-... *ahem* interogated an Imperial Noble you had last brushed minds with to acheive your nefarious ends. I think I'll get a different ship.

>>13083456
>>13083480
TOGETHER WE SHALL WIPE THE TAINT OF CHAOS FROM THIS VERY THREAD! IMPERIAL ART DUMP PROCEDURE BEGINS

>>13083489
Get out of here tin cans!

>Glad i got away, that house will burn.

This guy would probably more successful, Failbaddon.

stay out of his way

FUCK! when someone is trying to start a dark crusade, a lot of faggots show up....

>>13083494
I think you mean FOUR!

>>13083508

Awwwww looks like someone is still mad that his dildo colection was misplaced.

>>13083465
"You know, Sam, all things considered, this doesn't seem too bad."
"Speak for yourself. Those Noise Marines give me a headache, always playing their crazy modern music at four in the morning."
"Captured by the Prince of Pleasure and you're worried about a headache?"
"I don't think any of these guys are the God of Aspirin, little buddy."

>>13083524

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE BITCHES!?

Dark Mechanicus.

Use them, you fucktard. Put some assault launchers on land raiders, for one thing. Maybe get one of the more batshit legions to get themselves all infected with the Obliterator virus.

Y'know, dark techpriests, actually do stuff other than stuff demons into toasters. Yeah, it makes an excellent bagel, but the forces of Chaos actually need you.

Hey guys,

I'm just stopping in to confirm the time and place of this shin-dig. Looks we'll be having a great feast!

>>13083354
BTW, SUP DUDE! Long time no NOM NOM NOMs.

>>13083514
Look, if we don't start this up soon, I'm gonna light a spliff. All this hostility, good grief.

FOR THE EMPEROR

>>13083508
if now is not a bad time your lordship, i have somthing you might be interested in. some banshees that were recently captured

>>13083532
Your suffering has only begun!

>>13083581
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

>>13083567

THAT'S IT, I'm going to Cadia... Who's with me?

>>13083611
did that? please you great one? why are you looking at me like that? but you just ate

>>13083615
FOR THE EMPEROR

>>13083561
>mfw "IT'S YOU!!!"

>>13083615

Cadia confirmed. See ya there!

>>13083627
Your starting look good, I wonder how you taste?

>>13083615
As long as we end up at Terra, I'm down.

*pppppfffffffffffff* COUGH COUGH COUGH....Yeah Abby, sure, I'm down. But Kharn IS COMING WITH US DAMNIT. He's my best guy. If he don't go, I dont go. Got it Ezeikeil?

>>13083570

Oh! the eldar rapers are here!

>>13083651

Yeah dude! What's up? You coming to Cadia?

Did someone say Cadia? I'm totally there, and i'm bringing all my Necrons!

Hey guise, im throwing a pervty, come over to my place instead.

>>13083669
>>13083669

>>13083693

I'll murder you! The Harvest begins!

>>13083657
FOR THE EMPEROR

Oi, kan we'z go wit ya?

I don't be likin' da humies, but we'z alwayz up fer sum krumpin'.

Girls, do not go to Lucious' party. He like to get you drunk and cut on you. In fact I once heard that some loyalist with a ghey name like Garviel once beat his ass in a match in like no time flat. As usual, Lucious took it like a bitch and whines about it to Fulgrim to this day.

>>13083669

do what you what, you'll miss all the the action fool!!!

>>13083657

sure, we will end in Terra!

>>13083656
oh no, my lord! i would not wish to sully your taste buds with my unwothy soul. why, i havnt even become a full flegdged cultist? in fact, im supposed to be at ritual summon lessons from the blue scribes right now. OH i mean summon lessons to summon daemonettes of course. uuhhhhhhh, what that! over there! i think the 2 odd inquisitors are trying to escape! il raise the alarm over here then shall i?

>>13083699
>>13083693
>>13083684
>>13083676
>>13083669
>>13083657
>>13083656
>>13083655
>>13083651
>>13083627
>>13083615
>>13083611
>>13083593
>>13083581
>>13083567
>>13083561
>>13083541
>>13083526
>>13083514
>>13083508
>>13083497
>>13083494
>>13083489

>>13083733
HE CHEATED!!!

>>13083738
Excellent....

>>13083738
YOUR HAIR IS ABSURD

Hey guys wassup, i just woke and i feel like smoking cocaine and WHAT THE FUCK I'M A FUCKING BUTTERFLY IN SPACE.

Where's this CADIA THING OH FUCK

>>13083763
ALPHARIUS!

Hey gaiz, u gaiz! looky looky! I think I found something!

>>13083761

Lol, like a bitch you are Luc. Oh, he punched me, where as I am a top notch fencer, and I like to prance about in lacy panties. Fuck you Luc, your not even worth the cost to put you on the feild. Abby, dont let Luc come with us. If he goes, I am not going.

Abbadon, I have some problems with your BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD strategies & tactics. I really feel you rely on ineffective leadership and let SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE fear be the major catalyst for push. You need to keep the men MAIM KILL BURN busy at all times, and keep tabs on the MAIM KILL BURN entire operation.

I have centuries of MAIM KILL BURN experience and the best thing to do is lead by example.

>>13083782
>>13083773
>>13083763

>>13083699
Cant we all go to this mans gathering, it sounds like a good place for future discussion, lets all get together now yes.

>>13083763

how hard it could be?

>>13083765

U Jelly cuz I'm styling on you?

>>13083810
Kharn is such a great guy

>>13083822
XENOS

>>13082291
Abbadon.

Rainbow Warriors Chapter Master here, thinking about subcumming to chaos, we like Slanesh because of the pleaasure and shit, i mean just look at us

>>13083837
It won't be when I- I mean, WE get there!

>>13083845
MOAR CORPES

>>13083837
WHO IS STYLIN' ON WHO?

>>13083845
ALIEN BEANS

>>13083876
ahem, moar corpses

Hey gaiz, I think I found the library! can I join your club, Chaos gods? PLEEEZE??

>>13083878

Awww shit guys, this Gregor bloke is no joke.....keep an eye on his ass. And that deamonhost of his...sick fucker that one.

>>13083861
ANGRY MARINES HERE! FUCK YOU SAY NIGGER!?
>>13082291
ALSO YOU! YOU FUCKING DUMBASS WHATS UP WITH YOUR SKIN AND ARMOR!? YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SMURF YOU PANSY ASS FAGGOT!!!!!!! WHAT THE MATTER!? CANT GET ANY FROM EVEN A DEAMONETTE WHORE SO YOUR BALLS GOT SO BLUE YOUR VERY ARMOR TURNED BLUE!? GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THAT MASSIVE MULTI-DILDO YOU CALL A POWER TALON AND STUFF IT INTO YOUR MOUTH AFTERWARDS! SURE LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE READY TO SUCK IT ANYWAYS HOW YOU HAVE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WIDE OPEN LIKE THE EYE OF TERRORS ASSHOLE!

>>13083853

WHAT NOW CREED?

"The time has come. The alarm has been raised. Prepare the Hamsterium for war."

>>13083919

"Yes, commander. I will alert the marines."

"We are ready."

>>13082291
ABADDON, WHY HAVENT YOU FINISHED CLEANING THE LATRINES ON THE PLAGUESHIPS!

Everytime I see that, that pauldron bothers me.

>>13083908

are you mad?

HELLOOOO I'M TRYING TO GATHER A DARK CRUSADE OVER HERE!

>>13083955
Typhus, MY MAN! How you been? Hows Morti? I think I saw those Grey Garros fucks snoopin around the eastern egde of the eye, aint yer plague planet near there?

>>13083917
I need to borrow your tooth brush.

FUUUUUUUUUUU-

STOP ALL THIS FUCKING TALKING AND INVADE, I'M PISSING ON YOUR MOTHERS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME GET YOUR ASSES KICKED.

>>13083973
Don't worry, Mr. Abaddon, sir! I just need some of your marines to find the library and we'll call it a deal!

>>13083965
smalltime

>>13083955

because I'm here on /tg/ organizing the biggest dark crusade of all time!!!

I'll finish cleaning the latrines later

>>13083973
ABADDON, SHUT THE HELL UP AND CLEAN THE LATRINES. REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU TRIED TO LEAD A CRUSADE? OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO CALL MORTARION?

>>13083997

but it's in my office, I can't reach it right now

>>13084013

STOP FUCKING AROUND AND GET THE PISS OVER HERE SO WE CAN KICK YOUR ASS.

FUCK.

ANY BLOOD IS GOOD BLOOD
ANY DECADENCE IS GOOD DECADENCE
ANY DEATH IS GOOD DEATH
ANY SCHEMING IS GOOD SCHEMING

ABBADON HAS SUCCEDED YOU FAITHLESS SPAWNS!!!

>>13084013
A clear latrine a happy army makes.
Emperor preserve me, I remember the latrines of Tantyos IV. Damn near lost the whole sector.

>>13083975
the plague planets fine last time i heard, although Mortarion has been having to deal with Magnus's bullshit lately. right now i have to deal with FUCKING ABADDON WHO REFUSES TO CLEAN THE PLAGUEFLEET. oh, also, next time you see Kharn, tell him he owes me money

>>13084022

Lolz, call him man. This'll be hilarious.

>>13084005

FINE! take some of them!

>>13084022

I TOLD YOU! I'll finish to clean when I make my crusade!

>>13084057
Abaddon! I have something of GREAT importance to show you! It's is vital for the continuation of your Crusade!

>>13084029
Of course you can Abbadon, I mean look at you, you can do so many things at once. Be in the DoW 2 ending, while being in a written book mentioning you and leading another failu- potential assault against us poor Cadia soldiers. Im sure getting to your office wont be a hassle, especially for an ol' chum, right Abbadon?

>>13084053
Brother Typhus, did you not BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD receive the payment I entrusted to Dranon?

I sent him with a battle SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE barge filled to the brim with riches.

>>13084053

*pulls out wallet* whats he owe you, I'll will cover him,...AGAIN. That little prick is lucky hes so damned good this is like the 5th time now I have covered his debts. You would think a pure killing machine would have enuff sense to loot the fallen, but that crazy guy just teabags em and runs to kill the next. Hes CRAAAAYYYZEEEE! knowaddimean?

>>13084068
CREEEEED just an fyi, how much carnage do you think ramming 4 starships into your planet would do?

>>13084057
Aww yeah!
Move over, Malal, this sorcerer's going to be the REAL fifth Chaos God!

>>13084066

WHAT NOW MARINE! I bussy here cleaning the latrines and organizing the Crusade

>>13084068

no Creed, I can't get into mi office, BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING TANK INSIDE!

>>13084077

and WHY praytell, would you trust Drannon?

nono, Ill cover you again. Aww who am I kidding, I cant stay mad at you Kharn! COMERE!!!


*muttered* "dumbass"

>>13084077
THAT IS THE LAST TIME I PAY FOR THE PROSTITUTES!
>>13084082
thanks, il send my regards to Mortarion.

>>13084085
Well, thats the problem....what 4 starships?

>>13084103

oh Ahriman, you silly sorcerer!

>>13084110
Just come here, my lord. It will not take long.

>>13084135
......just a hypothetical question. also, how many cigars do you have?

Hey guys whats going on in here?....,..wait I allowed myself to be killed.

I guess I have nothing to add.

>>13084118
Sir, as your equerry, I do MAIM KILL BURN believe this behavior to be less than appropriate
>>13084119
Prostitutes? They MAIM KILL BURN said they were chalices! I thought I could use them for my offering to Khorne. This explains their woeful MAIM KILL BURN liquid capacity.

>>13084143


WHAT! what do you have there? is it a gift for me?

>>13084159
One hug and we can go back to being all angry and choppy. C'mon, one hug. You know you want to. ;-)

>>13084145
I have alot of cigars. Want one?
>Offers a ciggar holding case

>>13084168
Brother Abbadon I believe BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD it would be best to not trust that certain Astartes. Might I suggest SKULL FOR THE SKULL THRONE sending him to the front lines to prove his loyalty?

>>13084179
Oh alright, if you insist.

*hugs*

Hello my followers of my four ruinous children. How are we today?

>>13084168
You could say that my lord! The mightiest one I could offer!

>>13084184
am i festering hulk of ro0tting flesh and flies? HELL YES I WANT ONE!

>>13084200
>Opens case, just regular cigars, no traps, no baneblades, nothing, just cigars.

>>13084196
YEAH, ITS ON BITCHES. LETS MAKE THE IMPERIUM OF THE CORPSE GOD BLEED LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD FAT GIRL DURING A MISCARRIAGE!!!!!!

/Hefts GoreFather

KHARN YOU'RE MY BOY!!!

>>13084185

I kind of undestand your point, please continue

>>13084224
Surprise.

>>13084198

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?

>>13084237
ITS ZEUS

fuck alex mercer, did nurgle sent you?

>>13084224
Surely I am not the only one MAIM KILL BURN who finds it strange that marine who is "suspicious" wants to present you with a gift?

If he is a true MAIM KILL BURN son of the Ruinous Powers, let him prove his mettle on the battlefield.

If he is worthy and MAIM KILL BURN loyal, then consider his gift.

>>13084217
:3 MY DREAMS TURNED INTO REALITY! CREED, WANNA JOIN ME IN A SONG?

>>13084262

is that faggot Alex Mercer, Khârn did you call him?

>>13084237
I`ll fart in your direction

>>13084260

*sigh* Knowing BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD Creed, he most likely played some part in this.

Creed, is this even SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE challenging for you anymore?

>>13084278

/Closes deamon prince nostrils...

Sure, you start off and I'll continue on...

>>13084278
DADDY! YOU'VE COME BACK!

SPHESS MEHRENS TODEH, TEH ENEMEH IS AT OAR DOAR!

>>13084286

fuck Khârn! put that faggot in a box and send him back to creed!

>>13084301
ALWAYS I WANNA BE WITH YOU, AND MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE HARMONY HARMONY......

>>13084276
I have better things to MAIM KILL BURN do than call upon some form of super hero.

SPHESS MEHRENS TODEH, TEH ENEMEH IS AT OAR DOAR! WE KNOW OAR DUTEH AND WE WILL DO EET

>>13084276
Careful Abaddon or your biomass will be lining the inside of my arse crack.

>>13084306

Really? Why cant loyalist "supposed" astartes speak properly. Do you dipshits say Aks instead of Ask? Just wondering....WHATS that behind you?!?!?!?

/waits for it...

>>13084224
shh just come

>>13084321
Oh, psh. What, you gonna throw your METUHL BOHCKSES at us?

>>13084305
What goes around, comes around.

>>13084322

so, you want all my biomass inside your arse...

>>13084321
*Oh dear, HE's here. Let's just MAIM KILL BURN pretend to let him win and he'll leave; we wouldn't want him to start MAIM KILL BURN crying again.*

Uhh oh no! The famed Boreale! We MAIM KILL BURN are defeated! Yes, yes, uh you can go now, in victory!

WE FIGHT FOR OUR HONOAR AS SPHESS MEHRENS, AND WE FIGHT IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!

>>13084321

>retcons everything

>>13084313
Open your eyes I see
Your backed turned to the titan
Wear no shock for Abbadons missing arms
Came into my hands.

When it’s raining artillery outside
Am I here smugging?
Hold on to your pants
There will be no time.

Always
Angron will have a grey knight in his khorne flakes
And make death to you
And live in tactical genius oh just as planned

>>13084358
If you get me to Terra, I won't absord your ass. Or everyone elses.

Except you Kharn. You seem pretty cool.

>>13084360

well Khârn, I'm going to gather my biggest and victorious dark crusade some other time... this place is full of faggot

>>13084358
SLAAAANESHIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

* whimper* is it safe to come out yet?

>>13084352
>>13084360
IF WE DIE THIS DAY WE DIE IN GLOARY,WE DIE HEROES DEFFS, BUT NO WE SHALL NOT DIE, IT IS THE ENEMEH WHO WILL TASTE DEFF AND DEFEAT

>>13084387

ask Ahriman how to get to terra, I could give you a ride just to Cadia

>>13084410
*steps on the cultist by accident*
>>13084388
GOOD ABADDON, NOW GET BACK TO CLEANING THE PLAGUEFLEET, ITS BEEN ATLEAST 10,000 YEARS SINCE THEY'VE BEEN CLEAN, AND I WANT TO SEE A SHINE.

>>13084414

please! someone teach this marinefag how to speak!

Who dares disturb me atop my tower?

>>13084434
Target in close range. Charging weapons.

>>13084387
Come at me bro!

Well fine you lot, I'm going back to my baby tomatoes and new Samsung Plasma 54 incher. (please no length jokes from you filthy slaneshii freaks)

Daily show is on.

>>13084434
UGH MY SPLEEN!!!!

M-ma-ma-maaaaaaaaaaaaasssssstaaaaaaauuuuurs~!
>>13084380

Damn I wish I saw this thread earlier

>>13084434

You'll see.. SOMETIME I'LL GATHER THE BIGGEST DARK CRUSADE OF ALL TIMES!!!

>>13084425
Oh sure thing! You'll just have to help me find the Black Library and stuff!
>>13084449
Oh hey, dad!
You probably should start bowing to me now, Since I'm going to be a Chaos God n'everything!

>>13084489

Watch your tone of voice in presence of your father Ahriman, I will not take such insubordination.

You really went batshit after the Wolves destroyed your vinyard eh?

so ARCHIVE IT you tripfag, FOR CHAOS, AND FOR MY 13th DARK CRUSADE!!!

>>13084505
Not so fast Abbadon. You're surrounded, put your hands up!

>>13084452
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee^pi+d.

>Wartmen Display
The Wartmen display prowess!

>>13084489

you and your books!!!!

>>13084469
if i can just, make it to the gods damned apothecary i thin i can make it *DOOM*
OH GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD

>>13084520


red shirt cultist! don't stand there, do somethig with that IG!

You can do it space marines ill just stand back here.

>>13084523
Hey, I take great offense to that! I'll show you! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL--!
>Magnus preparing a fuck-storm
OH SHI--

>>13084572

shit Ahriman, Kharn just get the fuck out...

see ya!

>>13084520
YES IL GO THAT WAY
Reinforcements! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!

>>13084568
oh will you now

We shall form a defensive wall around the planets orbit and line it with terminators armed with power toothpicks.

>>13084620
Grey Knights moving up to cover the Guards advancement, for the Emperor! Die heretics!

What in the hell is going on!

>>13084520
Sir! I need to find whoever is in charge of this operation! It's urgent!

I always win heretic. For the emperor.

Imperial Guard 105th here! We've made it in!

>>13084670
*roll safely away from grey knights*

another successful operation. Great ones? when are the rest of the reinforcements coming?

Purge the unclean. Problem heretics.

>>13084691
Im in charge soldier, why arnt you charging that line like everyone else? I want that Angrons ass on my plate, set on a fire with a squeeze of lemon so I can throw it out the window for being under cooked.

>>13084706

yeah... sure, just keep shooting, I'll come back with reinforcements

>>13084733
Excellent. You'll do.

enemy commander has revealed himself
in position awaiting killshot

>primisay was
>so he was captcha, and so he shall be remembered

NOOOO "points lasgun"
"starts to shoot at impostor"

>still on the other side of the galaxy, taking a nap

>>13084753
SPY! PYRO'S ROAST HIM!

>>13084749
but i thought you had a plan that the imperials were walking into? you DO have a plan DONT you?

>>13084761
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOUR EMO PIECE OF SHIT!? WANT ME TO CUT YOUR HEART OUT THROUGH YOUR BLEEDING WRISTS!? GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU WHIMPERING BITCH!

>>13084733

Neener neener neener, Commissar Fuckyourma....Bring it, but I warn you. I am behind 7 proxies.

COWARDS!!!!


ENOUGH OF THIS!!


BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

SKULLS FOR THE THRONE!!!

MAIM! KILL! BURN!
MAIM! KILL! BURN!
MAIM! KILL! BURN!

>>13084779
Ze captain is flanking ze right of ze enemies flank.

>>13084779
"charges at heretic"

>>13084795
This is getting too heated for my liking.

I'll be seeing you soon Emperor!

Archive?

rolled 4 = 4

>>13084795
>rolling a d6 to hit

>>13084802
Good, that means with 7 PROXIES you will have the worst lag ever and thusly it will give my forces time to rape your fortifications and fleet to dust and head back for some coffee before the sun sets. Silly angron, do you know nothing about the effects of proxies upon your connection?

rolled 1 = 1

>>13084808
oh really? this should be interesting

rolling for hit in close combat

Man this is getting out of hand. Fall back to the battlecruiser we are getting off this world!

rolled 1 = 1

>>13084852
rolling to wound

>>13084779

Sure! Here is Kharn to help you!

ARCHIVE THIS! FOR CHAOS!

>>13084869
About damn time! This is fubar!

>looks around seeing imps leaving after tripping over a body
>mfw

>>13084859

Pingspy FTW, see we Khorne Deamon Prionces can use the ol noggin!

>>13084697
>112 on left shoulder
HERETIC IMPOSTORS OF THE 105TH BURN THEM ALL IN THE PURGING FLAME

As soon as we get to high orbit we will glass this planet with our nukes. Hurry up with those repairs!

>>13084919
CULTIST! WE HAVE WON!


BUT YOU FOOLISHLY SERVE SLAANESH!

FOR THAT YOU MUST DIE!

*chainaxe & plasma combo*

>>13084979
We have not won yet! we will all die if >>13084979
gets off world!

>>13084979
Come away with me cultist if you want to live!

>>13084999
I have the bitch in my sights. Can I take the shot sir?

>>13084999
oh god, and so it continues. IM COMING MY MISTRESS/ MASTER! I would have come sooner but i was busy killing loyalists OH GOD KHARN IS STILL CHASING ME

AND I CANT CULTIST ROLL ANYMORE

>>13085041
Take the shot!!!

>>13085069
ENEMIES! I NEED ENEMIES!

YOU WILL HAVE TO DO!

>>13085041
I love being shot in the head, it makes feel so good!

>>13085099
LOOK KHARN! a sniper is trying to shoot you! and he is going to LEAVE. YOUR. HEAD.

he doesnt even have a close combat weapon

>>13085125
Actually Cultist that fellow is only shooting at your master. If he fails or succeeds is no matter to me.


RUN COWARD RUN!!!

>>13085125
Fuck it you die you little shit! -BLAM-

>>13085152
Now I have to rape you until your a cripple, your little bullets have no effect on me!

>>13085141
god damn it, a disciple of khorne that uses his brain. just my luck, now if i can only get to slanesh in time.
im almost there
i can make it!
i can ma- *blam*
my OTHER SPLEEN

>struggles to get up, but shambles forward

help me slanesh, il do ANYTHING

>>13085183
Not if I have any say in it you wont ya whore! Run little bitch run! THOR IS HERE!

>>13085195
forgot to put
>collapses onto ground
before begging for help

>>13085202
I've destroyed almost all of the Elder race in one single blast! What chance do you have?
>>13085206
Let's get out of here.

>>13085202
You call that a walker mech?

>>13085195
>>13085206
You are dying, and in no shape for combat, be gone with thee, and return when you are a worthy opponent!

>>13085238
who says I am in the thor. WE ARE LEAVING!

archive on suptg?

>>13085238
oh thank you. i always knew you were the best chaos god
>>13085270
until next time
>weakly shake fist at kharn knowing im safe now

>acranceb loyal
>if acranceb can be loyal, then i guess i can be loyal too.

>>13085339
Yes! Ahriman demands it!

>>13085339
oh i think so, il head on over there to vote up

>>13085395
I cannot find it there, what trickery is this?


CREEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!

>>13085421
Abbadon & Co. launch BC 13.5

the newest addition to the archives

>>13085395
Best hurry, this thread is falling down the ranks fast...

>>13085453
>>13085445
shit only 2 votes, and it says i already voted

Well we all know what to do here elegan/tg/entlemen. Vote up!

I returned! to vote this! where I have to go?

>>13085523
Also wondering that.

ABADDON DEMANDS WERE I HAVE TO VOTE THE ARCHIVE!

4chanarchive(DOT)com
I believe this is the place to go.
Sent a request for it. Go and vote!

the archive is in

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending(DOT)com/archive(DOT)html

at the bottom... VOTE NOW! FOR CHAOS!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

I cast my vote, Lord Abaddon!

Voted