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  • File : 1291785559.jpg-(19 KB, 560x373, 2che90-560x420.jpg)
    19 KB Futility Quest Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:19 No.13072035  
    You find out that some of the /tg/-related things you like to discuss are on the janitor's pet peeves list, and that when you try to post them he deletes the threads, and there's nothing you can do about it because you're not allowed to make meta threads and the admin never respond to any emails.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:21 No.13072055
    i make a shitty quest thread
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:22 No.13072062
    What kind of shitty quest thread?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:22 No.13072070
    That depends on what exactly "some things" are.

    (in b4 baleeted)
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:23 No.13072074
    I get on /tg/ and see somebody has beaten me to the punch in my bid to make a cleverly disguised meta-thread. Failing that, I ask the person who started the dangerously meta thread what he liked to discuss that was deleted by the janitor.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:23 No.13072075
         File1291785807.jpg-(64 KB, 774x600, touhou_hijack.jpg)
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    Touhou Hijack a thinly disguised metathread.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:24 No.13072082
    I make a thread

    about epik breakinz of the system

    fuck the dm

    fuck the rurus.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:24 No.13072085
    I don't give a fuck and move on with my life.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:24 No.13072088
         File1291785865.jpg-(1.65 MB, 1392x2904, small12.jpg)
    1.65 MB
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:25 No.13072097
         File1291785924.jpg-(70 KB, 357x303, 1279568723247.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:25 No.13072103
    Hahaha yeah I have all these really great stories about a DM I used to have that I drove nuts when I played my frank zappa inspired bard. Shit was so cash.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:27 No.13072116
    Are you ribbonfag or are you just reposting it and asking people to pick a party? Because if it doesn't have anything new, there isn't much point (since those interested in the thread have been following them anyway, and we already know what they'll answer).
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:28 No.13072125
    I look around my current location. What's around me? Doors or anything like that? Any important-looking objects?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:29 No.13072136
         File1291786172.jpg-(23 KB, 224x496, sistershitbox.jpg)
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    I tell OP that any thread started by that image would be full of fail anyway and the janitors are right to scrub it.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:29 No.13072138
         File1291786180.gif-(1.91 MB, 400x225, 1289616791338.gif)
    1.91 MB
    You can't break the rurus!
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:30 No.13072143
    It's regularly updated, and there's more than just forty people on /tg/.

    By those standards, no 40k threads should exist, since we all know that ork lovers will waagh, and ultramarines will smurf smurf.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:31 No.13072149
    There is a computer in front of you. It is on and connected to the internet.

    The rest of the room is bare.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:32 No.13072158
         File1291786334.png-(233 KB, 480x640, 1b8f80f25114356d0694f6382f12b2(...).png)
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    Stat me, /tg/
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:32 No.13072164
    So there's no door? Great. What are the walls made of? Also, is the computer on a table? Am I sitting in a chair? What are they made of?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:33 No.13072169
    Yes, its regularly updated. What I'm asking is if THAT version has been updated by ribbonfag, or if it's still the one we had from his last thread.

    There isn't really all that much discussion that goes on in the threads. People either extrapolate what party members act like to pick, pick LOL ORBO x6, or drag their fetishes into it. About the only thing keeping them alive is new faces every once in a while.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:35 No.13072182
    They are all metaphysical objects. The "room" has no purpose beyond being able to contain you and the computer, and it does nothing more than that.

    The computer does not float, but it does not rest on anything. This is not a paradox, since the computer does not actually inhabit any material space. It is simply within the "room," which contains nothing more than you and the computer.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:36 No.13072189
    Log on to the internet and open the /tg/ web page.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:36 No.13072190
    Sounds like a lot of the longer-running quest threads. After 20+ threads, getting fresh blood is difficult.

    Needs to be more one-shot quests.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:38 No.13072209
    Intriguing. Then, if only the computer and I exist within this room, and there is no visible exit from the room, I have no choice but to assume The Room is the universe itself and the computer and I are rival gods.

    I challenge the computer to single combat with the following terms: the winner shall rule, the loser shall be cast out of The Room.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:39 No.13072210
    You log in, and open /tg/.

    You see several threads, none that really catch your interest, or at least not at the moment. You may decide to revive them from one of the back pages later, but not right now.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:40 No.13072228
    Are... are you guys seriously trying to turn a troll meta thread into a legitimate Quest?

    ... carry on, you magnificen/tg/rognards.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:40 No.13072229
         File1291786859.jpg-(845 KB, 971x1228, 13348724.jpg)
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    Insufficiently meaty -5
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:41 No.13072233
    The computer reminds you of your past conflicts, which shattered realms, and how you managed to subdue it into being your subordinate. You are the creative force, the leader, the one who has all the ideas, while it is nothing more than the doer, the task fulfiller, the processor.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:41 No.13072236
    I open up /x/ in a new tab to check if /b/'s trolling it, and I can invite our waifu in for a CoC discussion.
    >> SECRET 12/08/10(Wed)00:43 No.13072262
    Examine what programs are installed on this computer, what OS it runs and if possible, what it is named.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:43 No.13072264
         File1291787026.jpg-(182 KB, 620x840, zjgysx.jpg)
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    Yuugi's strength is dependent on her Hammered stat, not Meaty.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:44 No.13072269
    You fail. Calling /x/ your waifu makes you want to die, and you begin to vomit as your innards dissolve. You regret having been such an idiot, and as the pain slowly disappears, you realize that such a stupid thought is painful, and best to be avoided.

    +1 wisdom
    -5 HP
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:45 No.13072274
    I tell The Computer that if this is so, then we are slaves to each other. For if we were truly foes in the past, I would not risk letting it exist unless I had some need of it. I have impetus but no capability. It has capability but no impetus. Our existences as they stand are hollow and without meaning, as neither of us are able to achieve true fulfillment.

    It is time we became One.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:45 No.13072278
         File1291787117.jpg-(198 KB, 466x600, 1278284919709.jpg)
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    Not in /tg/s fandom.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:47 No.13072295
         File1291787224.jpg-(24 KB, 679x482, i-came-ghostbuster.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:47 No.13072299
         File1291787249.jpg-(150 KB, 800x1143, 1275703877228.jpg)
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    Meaty enough for ya?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:48 No.13072304
    The computer runs Lindows Ubusta, and since it is connected to the internet, you can download any program you want (albeit illegally).

    The computer was named Mechaonogas, God of Machines, but now in its period of servitude is named Mec.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:49 No.13072318
         File1291787360.png-(731 KB, 849x1200, 1357388.png)
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    the trick is balancing the meaty with the hardu gayo.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:49 No.13072323
    I'm running Firefox, right? If I'm not, I'm fucking downloading firefox.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:52 No.13072338
    The computer begins to merge with you, and you realize that the computer really had always been a part of you.

    You now can use your mind to influence the internet directly, without a peripheral. However, you cannot change it in any way differently than you could have with the computer. It's nice that you can avoid carpal tunnel now though.

    +1 wis
    +1 dex
    New ability: Mental Computing
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:52 No.13072344
         File1291787562.jpg-(576 KB, 1013x1463, 1286075159099.jpg)
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    Nothing wrong with a little Cho Marisa.
    I think this is an okay amount though.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:52 No.13072345
    It probably runs ALL servers at once.
    Yes, even Mosaic.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:55 No.13072371
    With mental effort, you combine Windows Internet Explorer, Mosaic, Chrome, and Opera together into one ultimate program.

    You are sued by Firefox for copyright violations, and end up just downloading it and installing it.

    +1 firefox
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)00:56 No.13072385
    Install the essentials
    Adblock Plus
    4chan Toolbar
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:00 No.13072429
    Very well then. Now that We are One, it is time. We expand the size of The Room and condense Ourself and Our essence into the tiniest possible point at the very center.

    Then, We explode.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:01 No.13072432
    You install the addons, except something goes wrong with noscript. You realize that with your brain now acting as the computer, you can't really resize the window so you can click the button on the bottom of the screen in order to allow scripts, forcing you to do it manually through the addon menu.

    +1 annoyance
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:02 No.13072440
         File1291788129.png-(693 KB, 900x900, 1276369583360.png)
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    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:03 No.13072451
    You try to expand the room, and your brain begins to hurt.

    There is no x, nor y, nor z coordinates. The room has no dimensions to extend, and trying to expand a sizeless rooms confuses and befuddles you.

    -1 wisdom
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:04 No.13072466
    I assume /tg/ is still open. F5, see if any interesting threads have come up. Open up /co/ in a new tab for kicks.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:06 No.13072484
    Then I just explode.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:06 No.13072490
    What /tg/ things do you like to discuss?
    Really now, what's getting Baleeeted?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:07 No.13072499
    You realize that the traffic from /co/ is one of major sources of idiot posts in /tg/. You decide not to open it, just in case more /co/ miscreants try to slip in.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:09 No.13072520
    In that case, opening /v/ in a new tab is straight out.... Hmm... I come up with a morally ambiguous story, and ask should his paladin fall for doing this, and post it while putting on my best troll face.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:09 No.13072523
         File1291788579.jpg-(385 KB, 798x1000, 1290405468559.jpg)
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    Probably porn, disguised attempts to post porn, trolling and blatantly non-/tg/ stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:10 No.13072529
    You explode. It hurts quite a lot, but not any more than you want it to, so all's fine and dandy.

    You piece yourself together when you decide you really don't like being scattered all over a... wait, if you have no space to explode in...


    -35 HP
    +35 HP
    -2 wis
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:11 No.13072541
    I was trying to Big Bang myself and create life in The Room. Is THAT do-able?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:11 No.13072548
    The thread seems like it might pick up, but after twenty or so posts people simply lose interest.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:14 No.13072574
    Hmm... /tg/ is smart today... let's see here... I start a Haggard thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:15 No.13072580
    I'm not really sure what's going on in here, but I find it intriguing nonetheless.

    I check my email, and search archives for threads relating to my interests (and unrelated to the janitor's).
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:15 No.13072587
    You explode yourself again, this time with the intent to create life. You ignore any logic that might impede you, and even accelerate time dramatically.

    After several billion years, the first life form appears, and as you stare at it, you realize that it was once a part of you.

    No, that's not it. It still is a part of you.

    With a sudden epiphany, the universe you created from your own form returns to you, and you realize that separating yourself might be utterly meaningless.

    +3 wis
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:17 No.13072602
    Your attempt at forcing a meme succeeds! People laugh and laugh, and start forcing it everywhere!

    This lasts for about three days. Then, only the saddest, most miserable people, still clinging to their "glory days" continue to post it, before it disappears forever, along with all the other failed memes.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:17 No.13072604
    Archived as a lesson to future anons; bawww all you want, we'll just go on having fun and being awesome.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:18 No.13072617
         File1291789120.png-(7 KB, 169x287, - blueboard_1.png)
    7 KB
    >there's nothing you can do about it
    >What do you do?


    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:19 No.13072632
    I turn The Room inside-out.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:19 No.13072633
    You do realize it's OP running the quests, right?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:21 No.13072653

    You discover that despite having no dimensions, the room does, for some, inexplicable reason, have colors!

    The inside was originally jet black. When inverted, it's now Fuchsia.

    +1 to hatred of the color Fuchsia.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:22 No.13072654
    What, that Anonymous guy? Yeah, he's same-fagging all over this thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:24 No.13072683
    rolled 7 = 7

    Excellent. I flip the room back and forth between fuchsia and black as fast as possible, allowing my rage to build.

    Rolling d20 for fortuitousness of the results...
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:26 No.13072706
    rolled 15 = 15

    Nah, I'm pretty sure the OP was a whiny bitch, and the GM of this quest is a total bro, so they can't be the same person.
    Anyhow, I assume there's a 40k thread going on? I attempt to Hijack it in the name of Slaanesh.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:27 No.13072715
    Your rage increases rapidly, but without some form of release, it simply rests within you. It's starting to hurt.

    Rage status-Maximum
    -2 HP
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:28 No.13072732
         File1291789725.jpg-(115 KB, 402x963, dakimakura.jpg)
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    I'm pretty sure I'm both people.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:30 No.13072747
    rolled 11 = 11

    I unless my pent-up rage against a small point on one wall of The Room.

    Rolling again for fortuitousness...
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:30 No.13072752
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:31 No.13072758
    How the fuck is that /tg/ related you twat
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:32 No.13072765
    The room has no walls, no dimensions, and thus, no points.

    The rage starts to consume you.

    Rage status- Maximum
    -3 HP
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:33 No.13072783
    >how are fantasy roleplaying characters related to /tg/?

    How are 40K characters related to /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:33 No.13072784
    rolled 5 = 5

    Fine, fuck it. I use my RAGE to create a first dimension.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:34 No.13072794
    rolled 5 = 5

    The answer is obvious, create a "Things my DM does that I hate" thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:36 No.13072805
    You try to create the first dimension, but it is a task that would require infinite finesse, not infinite rage. Your failure only incites your anger more, breaking the limits of what you thought was your maximum rage.

    Rage status - CRITICAL
    -10 HP
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:36 No.13072811
         File1291790189.jpg-(55 KB, 634x700, deal with it nerd_1.jpg)
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    Your FACE isn't /tg/ related. What now, nerd?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:37 No.13072817
    rolled 10 = 10

    Before I rage myself to death, I must make a "Things my DM does that I hate" thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:38 No.13072836
    You pound out a thread, mashing the air in front of you as if there was still a keyboard for you to smash apart as you type.

    After making your kind, good-natured DM seem like the spawn of Satan by listing nothing but exaggerated accounts of mistakes he made, you feel a slight sense of catharsis.

    Rage status- Intense
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:40 No.13072843
    rolled 20 = 20

    I now same-fag and pretend to troll myself. I repeat this three more times, so that I am presented as OP, troll, white knight, troll, and drawfag drawing my own nonexistent DM.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:40 No.13072844
    rolled 6 = 6

    To prevent my own rage from growing in response to my thread, I preemptively samefag saying "Your DM sucks, kick him out and DM yourself"
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:41 No.13072855
    >DAT NAT 20!!!
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:41 No.13072862
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:44 No.13072886
    Your samefagging is perfect. People begin to support and defend each of your different personas, not realizing that they're arguing about nothing more than your personal delusions.

    You watch as the thread reaches 300+ posts in the span of a few hours, and you feel a sense of mirth, knowing that people wasted their time all because you were just so angry you had to do something about it.

    Rage status- On the back burner
    +1 archived threads
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:48 No.13072934
    Well guys, we may not have become a god, but we did piss off a few not-real people on the internet. I'm sleepy, g'night, successful Quest was successful.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:49 No.13072943
    rolled 2 = 2

    A few hours, eh? I think after that time I need a fap.
    1 = /d/
    2= /e/
    3= /h/
    4= /s/
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)01:54 No.13072989
    You fap to tame hentai, which allows your imagination to do the majority of the dirty work. However, it's relatively hard work (thinking and fapping), and you end up tired, so you go to sleep.

    And I think I'm going to sleep now too.
    >> The new GM!FuckingKapersky 12/08/10(Wed)01:54 No.13072995
    Looks like that was the real GM that left. I'll take up the mantle for now then.

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