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    1.07 MB B-Movie RPG Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)07:57 No.12853622  

    So a few days back I stumbled across the rules for a B movie RPG on suptg that was still in the works and today my group and I tried it out.

    We were operating on the picture provided, it worked out not too bad. Details of the session will follow.

    What I'm hoping for is for the Anon who created it to share with us the full rulebook that was promised in the archived thread/flesh out the system a little more.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:02 No.12853640
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    I rolled the monster using the table in OP, and rolled hypnotic, immortal Merfolk.

    As we decided we were running the game about ten minutes before we ran it, I opted to recycle the plot from the above film (Pic related).

    Fiver players each rolled a character, I gave them their secrets and we dived in.

    In regards to revealing secrets, I had trouble in regards to when they were revealed, ie. providing the players with descriptions which may have led to a character's secret being revealed before they wished it to. For example the Veteran secret.

    After some moderate investigation and my stumbling, first time DMing, the group started cold cocking some bystanders. The system is fairly rule light, which is nice, but I did find it wasn't as clear as it could have been.
    In fight scenes I had the characters rolling opposed fight checks to see if they succeed in hitting following with the life expectancy check.

    In the archived thread the monsters are given the Resilience and Challenge Rating stats, but as I only had the image to work on, I statted them up like a regular character.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:07 No.12853655
    This worked moderately well, until I noticed that the immortal trait had made my Mer-creature invincible: she couldn't get a roll below seven and would therefore succeed everytime.

    I bumped it down a notch so she had the potential to die, but given the Resilience system that'd probably be less of a problem.

    The SCIENCE! stat was abused like fuck throughout the session for HILARIOUS results.

    Despite having a "1920's" setting, the drunken black chemist/scientist starts off the game by sitting in the ship's bar and creating an automaton out of empty beer bottles and scrap metal with the ability to fetch and pour beer.

    Later, the drunken black scientist (Named Mo' "Bitches" Noir) and another sciencey character (Dr. Tobias Blank use the automaton and a machete to fashion a rudimentary boat motor and prop to speed them away from danger.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:09 No.12853662
    Sounds like it went well, but not perfectly. I'm glad you can point out the positives and negatives of your game in analysis.

    >Mo 'Bitches' Noir
    Pretty funny.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:11 No.12853672
    We also had a heroic as fuck character - the Captain, who survived a rifle blast to the chest, a mermaid bite to the shoulder and a point blank nitroglycerine explosion (After throwing the vial down the beasts throat) only to eventually be pulled underwater by the Mercreature.

    The aforementioned nitroglycerine (A concotion by Dr. Tobias Blank, Dr. Mobius "Bitches" Noir had both a still, meth lab and moonshine lab) destroyed the entire ship, killing the few remaining NPCs aboard, and blowing the living PCs clear of the blast.

    The Captain also fell asleep at the wheel, stirring the ship way off-course. When confronted by another character, he simply replied "It happens from time to time."

    When the PCs discovered a group of dead fishermen, they enquired as to the state of their weapons and I derped pretty damn hard resulting in this:

    DM: Their guns are snapped and their knives are bent.
    Blank: Their ammo?
    DM: Snorted.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:11 No.12853673
    Just discovered thread, reading rules now
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:17 No.12853700
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    I love these threads.

    Do continue, good sir.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:18 No.12853704
    It was a fun time, but it wasn't a particularly well run or thought out session. First time DMing as well as no preparation meant that I faltered a few times. Inexperienced as I am, I had some trouble keeping things moving at some points. Things were light and funny though, we had a lot of laughs and so I consider that part a success.

    We also did one thing not included in the original rules that I feel is worth adding. Every monster flick starts with some schmuck being offed by the creature without the audience seeing it. (Jaws, Anaconda, Jurassic Park, Frankenfish, Rogue, I could go on...)
    I felt to get the real B grade feel the session ought to have one, so I designated a player via die to play the random fisherman at the start to get munched. The guy just had basic stats, after the scene the player used the character he'd actually created and the session started proper.

    I think this could have worked well organised a bit better, particularly providing something more of a challenge or more of a backstory to that challenge (Rather than a net at the front of the boat is caught on something, the Captain wants you to check it out.) and a more amusing death planned as well.
    In future, I'd also be tempted to roll for how many of these Poor Bastards there are to start with.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:21 No.12853718
    I'm actually kinda interested in running a couple games like this now. My gaming group is far too into their 'SUPER SERIOUS' RPs; the tone needs to be lightened, and I think this'd do a great job.

    Hopefully the guy who wrote this will appear with a load of other stuff regarding the game. That'd be awesome.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:23 No.12853731
    Didn't use meatbags to their full potential. We briefly had a few, but unfortunately I kind of gave them throwaway deaths.

    What I really had a problem with throughout was pacing.

    You look at any B grade flick and there is only so long between kills, I had a real hard time with that. Once the kills started happening, things didn't slow down too much, but getting up to that point I felt like I was letting things drag.

    This may be my ineptitude rather than the system, of course.

    Also had a recurring character by the name of Zaddok. He was missing an eye and wore an eyepatch over it. He was also missing his other eye and had a monocle over it. He also had a possibly supernatural ability to 'seemingly' teleport around the place, had no teeth, hobbled crazily along until he had a cane in which case he walked like a regal gentleman.

    Not a very serious character, but kept things interesting at least.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:24 No.12853734
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    I like this thread.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:28 No.12853751
    Yeah, I really hope he returns and delivers the completed rulebook, or at least assists in defining things some more.

    As for being serious, we were scheduled to continue our Fantasy Craft campaign, but a player turned up still somewhat intoxicated and playing a fairly important character in the FC campaign, the DM didn't want to run it. I'd mentioned the B-Movie system in passing and it was suggested I run it.

    It definitely works for some casual fun, I forget some of the particular moments, but the atmosphere was pretty damn fun. The system lends itself really well to letting players just go for it, especially with the SCIENCE! trait. Its an easy system for a DM to say 'yes' when he's running it. Alot more fun if you just go with player suggestions.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:31 No.12853767
    I can relate the entire session if /tg/ desires it, but be aware that I haven't got it pre-typed, so there will be delays as I have a player refresh my memory and type that shit up.

    We had a few enjoyable moments where the 'film crew' got involved. I really wanted to get the B grade feel across. As such we had a few moments where the boom-mike came in, actors (or characters) forgot or flubbed their lines.
    When the characters were in the bridge, I mentioned that the scene was shot with green screen and the stock footage used was terrible. At one point, the ship (Miles out in deep sea) passes under the Golden Gate bridge.
    The drunken doctor plays with the levers on the bridge, confusing the fuck out of the engineer shovelling coal in to the furnace, followed by an exterior shot showing the ship is not steam powered.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:31 No.12853768
    Oh my fucking god, a game that utilizes "kill the guy to your left" I AM NOW READING THIS THREAD MANUALLY
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:44 No.12853840
    Fuck yes, this thread.

    OP, I think you did well considering it was a pick-up game and you rolled "immortal".

    Did/do character goals ever get used? I think it would be a good RP guideline and perhaps a way to steer them in the direction of their secret.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:45 No.12853845
    Alright, here we go:

    A lone fisherman (Played by the Captain, amusingly enough) stands on the upper deck of the ship, the rest of the crew is inside partying.
    The Captain has sent him to check on a fishing net that seems to be snagged on something toward the front of the boat.
    Going to investigate, he attempts to wrestle it free (Using a SCIENCE! roll) but fails and decides this calls for DRASTIC MEASURES.
    The fisherman opts for fetching some rope and rapelling over the side of the ship to release the net. As he reaches the net, he finds that theres something trapped inside and its angry and clawed. It takes a swipe at him and he fights back with a fishing knife. His attack doesn't work out too well and he attempts to escape back up the side of the ship, but slips and is torn apart by the creature in the net, which claws its way out and we see a dark shape moving away from the ship.

    The opening credits roll to a hip indie rock soundtrack.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:49 No.12853864

    >hip indie rock soundtrack

    I am fully immersed
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)08:53 No.12853889
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    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)08:55 No.12853896
    We didn't use the character goals, unfortunately, but the character secrets did come in to play, particularly in the End Game.

    The PCs meet in a tavern. Well, I say that, four of the five players are all present in the ship's bar where a party is raging. Dr. Mobius "Bitches" Noir, Dr. Tobias Blanc (It's french for white and black you see, he's the coffee, he's the cream.) Bro "Dude" Jefferson and "The Author" sit around, being various levels of intoxicated.

    Mo Bitches feels the bartender isn't fetching him drinks fast enough and SCIENCE!s himself a small robot (About the size of one's head) to fetch and pour him drinks. He feels immediately affectionate toward the automaton, clinking his drink on the robot in a gesture of friendship.
    The automaton is unable to feel companionship, but if he could, he would express it in kind. Mo names the automaton Tyrone Maximus, who tops up Mo's drink in thanks for the name and heads down the bar to retrieve another bottle.

    As Blanc smokes, Noir gets plastered, The Author writes feverishly and Jefferson is quietly a bro.
    Across the room is a circus troupe who have not been on the ship long. They appear somewhat shady and nervous (I WONDER IF THATS A PLOT HOOK) and do not want crew members in the hold without one of them present.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)09:00 No.12853911

    I just finished watching that for my American Studies class.

    God damn.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:04 No.12853925
    The Captain is momentarily relieved by a crew member, who mentions the fisherman Jenkins in passing. After being given an order, the crewmember remarks "No worries, sir" Prompting Mo's player to say he likes how relaxed this ship is. The Captain hangs around at the party, mainly to keep an eye on the Doctors and ensure they don't perform any shenanigans.

    The Captain returns to the bridge shortly after and the group is approached by a hunched, crazed and hobbling form.
    It is Zaddok, the resident crazy. He has a near shaved head, no teeth, an eyepatch on one eye and is missing the other.
    He is all kinds of crazy. He immediately begins babbling nearly incoherently at the group about the circus troupe, spilling beer all over the place.
    Mo Bitches is horrified by this, and tells him not to waste good beer. Zaddok accidentally loses the monocle he wears on the other eye into his beer mug and apologises profusely in a suddenly regal manner. He fishes the monocle out of his mug and replaces it in front of his missing eye.

    He then relates to the group that the circus troupe have some kind of cargo they don't want anyone going near, a big box shaped thing covered in a tarp. With "A strange squealin' noise comin' from inside it! Like nails on a chalkboard! I never heard nothin' like it! 'Cept fer nails on a chalkboard, I suppose..."
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:13 No.12853950
    One of the circus troupe come up from the hold and talk to the Ringleader in a pannicked fashion, who then heads down in to the hold with his entourage.
    The PCs must be crazier than Zaddok is, because it takes very little convincing to get them to follow him down to the hold to find out what them circus folk are up to.
    Dr. Blanc (Possessing the Insane trait) Leans over to Bitches and suggests that they get themselves some guns. Bro Dude Jefferson, who happens to be the first mate, informs them that the Captain has a lockbox in the bridge with weaponry and only he has the key.

    He also tells Blanc that taking firearms into the hold is a really bad idea.
    Unarmed, the group follow Zaddok down the stairs toward the hold. As they reach the doorway into the hold, Zaddok beckons at them. Lifting his eye patch to reveal that eye is also missing, he points toward something that one of the circus troupe (The bearded lady) is mopping on the ground. Bitches identifies it as blood. Behind the bearded lady, the group see a large cube covered in a tarp and the Ringleader arguing with one of his crew in front of it. Upon seeing the blood, Mo Bitches exclaims "Fuck!" alerting the circus troupe to the PCs.

    The Ringleader loses his shit, yelling at the PCs, and sending one of his men to fetch the Captain. Mo Bitches slaps the Ringleader across the face, possibly for disrespect. The Ringleader is flustered, but continues to yell at the group to leave.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:21 No.12853984
    The Captain arrives and asks the group of PCs what the fuck they were doing. The Ringleader was paying him to ensure no one messed with their cargo and is annoyed. The Captain chews out the other PCs, telling them they should have come to him if they had an issue with the cargo. Dr. Blanc responds "We were going to when were going to... Get... Guns..."

    The entire group facepalms and Mo Bitches alerts the Captain to the blood on the floor, the Captain seems strangely nonplussed about the blood and orders the group to return to their rooms.

    The Author is also something of an illustrator and has a series of well sketched maps of the ship. Some just happen to detail a SECRET PASSAGEWAY INTO THE HOLD that will totally not come into play later. In their rooms, Mo Bitches checks on his still, drinking the beer it had produced and also checking his meth lab. In his room, Blanc creates a vial of what he thinks is nitroglycerine with his lab kit. Blanc emerges, planning to get down in to the hold. Noir also steps out, wearing nothing but his lab coat. (Snow leopard fur lab/pimp coat) Blanc at first manages to avert his gaze before seeing anything unpleasant (Using a survival roll) But then accidentally looks at his junk.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:29 No.12854021
    At this point Bro "Dude" Jefferson steps out, he sees Noir's junk. Dude asks whats going on.

    Blanc: Something's going on down there, and I think we should check it out.
    Noir: Bitch, you stay the hell away from my 'down there'.

    Noir returns to his room to put on a pair of pants. Expecting trouble, he grabs his machete and manages to resist the urge to take his pimp cain instead.

    At this point, the Author emerges from her room, timing it well in order to not see black sciencey penis.

    Dude grabs his revolver and the four try to move quietly toward the hold, but someone fails their survival check and they make enough noise to wake up the Captain, who is in the bridge.

    The group all roll survival checks to hide. Blanc, Author and Dude find a cosy spot behind some fishing nets where they are shrouded in darkness. Noir opts to hide in a door way.
    The doorway to the bridge.
    Which the Captain opens and sees Noir's back.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:34 No.12854037
    Captain: Ahem.

    Mo Bitches Noir realises the Captain is behind him.

    Captain: What are you doing?

    Mo Bitches: Just taking a walk, Cap, what about you?

    Captain: I fell asleep at the wheel.

    The entire party looks horrified at the player.

    Captain:... It happens!

    Everyone is more horrified. Session momentarily breaks down in to laughter.

    We regroup.

    Mo Bitches sends the Captain to bed and heads in to the bridge. The audience can see the terrible greenscreen work of the sky behind him and at one point the Golden Gate Bridge passes over head.

    Bitches attempts to realign the ship and get it back on course, but doesn't realise he made it worse. Feeling accomplished, he briefly plays with some of the levers and then leaves the bridge.

    In the engine room, the guy who shovels coal into the furnace stares blankly, having just recieved a series of different orders such as "slow ahead" "Full speed backward" and so on. Attempting to follow these orders he both shovels coal in to the furnace and then hurriedly shovels it back out.

    A wide shot reveals the ship is not a steam boat, but rather a sail boat.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:43 No.12854073
    The four now make their way toward the back of the ship and the secret passage that leads to the hold. The passage leads through the bilge pumps. Noir successfully identifies the substance covering the area they msut traverse as a mixture of faeces and other gunk. Blanc identifies it as some kind of moss which is probably quite healthy if ingested.

    He doesn't eat any.

    The group all slide down the passage, making a fair amount of noise except for Dude, who coasts down silently and gives the other characters a "what the fuck?" look.

    The group are behind a stack of crates, and peering out from behind them they can see the mysterious cargo and a guard sitting in a chair, he seems strangely slumped over and has a Garand in his lap.

    The group figure he is sleeping and quietly argue over what to do, Blanc suggests killing the man, and the group immediately begin debating how. As they weigh up their options, Blanc points out "You probably shouldn't kill him you know. I'm just insane."

    Dude decides he's going to pistol whip the guard as he sleeps.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:47 No.12854082
    The first attempt wakes up the guard, who promptly stands and turns around wondering what the fuck is going on. He gets a revolver-butt to the face and goes down.

    In a moment of genius, the author suggests they prop him back up in his seat and make it seem like he is drunk.
    Promptly, Tyrone Maximus appears with a drink for Mo Bitches. Cunningly, the group cover the guard in booze and leave the bottles lying around him and Bitches programs the automaton to bring the guard booze to strengthen their alibi.

    The group immediately raids the guard's pockets. Blanc takes the Garand and some coin and Dude takes the ring of keys any guard inevitably has.

    With the problem of the unconscious guard solved, Mo Bitches tears the tarp off of the mysterious cargo.

    It is a large cube tank filled with water and covered in thick chains with a padlock. There is a shadowy figure inside and as Mo leans toward it, the figure moves to the glass.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)09:55 No.12854107
    (Damn it, my memory fails me. As a side note, when the Captain arrived and chewed out the group for going down and investigating the cargo without him, Zaddok mysteriously disappeared after pointing out the blood.)

    It is an amazingly beautiful woman. With the bottom half of a fish. Where her legs ought be is instead a long, scaled tail. She doesn't seem able to communicate, but places a hand on the glass. Mo Bitches feels it wouldn't be a good idea to reciprocate.

    Blanc correctly identifies the creature as a mermaid, but then accidentally makes eye contact with the creature and now feels a strong desire to take the chains off of the tank. He asks Dude for the keys, who doesn't think he should hand them over. Noir gets suspicious of Blanc's behaviour immediately, who assures them he knows what he's doing and asks for the keys.

    The three manage to convince Blanc that the Mermaid is alright where she is.

    And they head back to their rooms, unsure of what to do with the mermaid. Noir mentions to Dude that Blanc seems a little odd and that maybe they should take his Garand from him, but they decide shit is fine for now and go to sleep.

    Blanc wakes up and feels compelled toward Dude's room.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)10:09 No.12854157
    Sneaking inside, he takes the ring of keys from Dude's dresser and heads down the stairs to the hold. As he walks down the stairs, the noise awakes The Author, who figures something is going down and follows after him. Blanc begins working on the lock but is tackled by Author, who wrestles the keys off of him, but accidentally makes eye contact with the Mermaid. Compelled to unlock the padlock, the Author does so and the chains fall, the Mermaid pushes open the lid and slips out.

    The Ringleader bursts in, sees what they've done and immediately begins yelling at the pair. Blanc tries to cover, saying "It was all her, I'm just filling in for your man over there, he's fallen asleep!" and gestures at the knocked out guard.

    Ringleader lunges at the pair, declaring that they have to get the Mermaid back in the tank. Bland and Author feel differently. Ringleader tries to fight Author, who somehow overcomes him despite being smaller in size, almost like she'd had some form of training... (I hint at Author's secret here, maybe a bit too much, as Mo's player guesses it, but I just try to roll over it, but thats mechanics...)

    The group notice the mermaid has taken to devouring the 'sleeping' guard's head.

    The noise awakes the rest of the group, and Dude, Captain and Bitches arrive and find Blanc and Author being confronted by the Ringleader.
    And theres a Mermaid on the floor with a decapitated body.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)10:16 No.12854187
    Ringleader yells that Author opened the cage and the session goes to Reservoir Dogs territory.
    The Captain points his weapon at Author.
    Blanc points his weapon at the Captain.

    Everything gets very tense.

    In an effort to calm everyone down, Bro "Dude" Jefferson fires a shot in to the air.

    Captain and Blanc both flinch.

    Author takes the shot badly and loses a point of Life Expectancy.

    Captain takes a bullet to the chest and doesn't seem to give a damn.

    The gunshot does serve to snap Blanc and Author out of their stupor.

    The group decide they ought to catch this Mermaid thing, but Bitches makes eye contact and thinks they ought to just let it do it's thing.

    Blanc hits him in an attempt to snap him out of it and Mo Bitches hits him back.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)10:24 No.12854206
    The rest of the crew, awoken by the gunshots, arrive in to the hold. They see the PCs, the Ringleader and a decapitated body. They do not see a mermaid. It has escaped.

    People immediately begin hollering about what the fuck is going on and the Captain tells them there is some kind of creature let loose on board.

    Zaddok emerges from the crowd whilst the crew are arguing amongst themselves and asks the PCs what the hell they were doing searching around and poking their noses where it don't belong. He chastises the group for letting the Mermaid out and infers he knew all along.

    The crew think that the PCs have been drinking, given the evidence, but follow their Captain's orders of tracking down some creature.

    He tells the crew that they are going to split (Bitches declares this is a bad idea - As GM and a B-movie fan I am filled with silent mirth.) into groups of five and search the ship for the beastie. The crew form five groups and the PCs form one themselves. Two meatshields, uh, crew members decide to follow Author seeing as "You read and write, you must know what's going down!" These two are Finnigan and Hanwell. (Recurring characters in our campaigns. Any time a pair of people with the same profession appear its usually these guys. Originated in Rogue Trader.)
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)10:35 No.12854262
    The Captain leads everyone to the bridge where there is more shoddy effects work. He opens the lockbox and gears up the crew. The standard meat bags grab themselves some bolt action rifles. The Captain grabs his tommy gun. Zaddok appears and grabs himself a lever action shotgun and tells the group "Looks like we're goin' huntin'!"

    He then walks down a corridor that doesn't lead anywhere, but somehow disappears.

    Blanc grabs himself a double barrel (Twelve gauge, double-barreled Remington...), another rifle and a revolver. Noir feels confident with his machete. ("I don't need a gun! I'm a man of SCIENCE!" Noir wildly brandishes his machete in the direction of the Captain.)

    The Captain tells the groups to go check out various parts of the ship, the PCs are headed to the bar and kitchen. They head off. I roll for the fates of the other groups. The results are HILARITY.

    The group arrives at the bar. All is quiet. Except for the distant screaming Bitches hears.

    They move in to the kitchen and realise that Hanwell is missing. (Here I was hoping someone would begin calling out his name, but none of my players went for that age old cliche, and so I had Finnigan do it for them.)

    Finnigan starts calling out to Hanwell, but it seems like he gone. They move back in to the kitchen and someone makes the mistake of opening the meat pantry.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)10:44 No.12854316
    One of the search parties is inside. Or most of them is. What isn't hung up on meat hooks is pooling on the floor beneath them.

    Finnigan pukes.

    The PCs examine the search party's weaponry and discover their guns have been snapped and their knives have been bent.
    "What about the ammo?"


    After we stop laughing and recompose ourselves, the Captain notices a "wet trail of water" and the group opts to follow it, displaying the survival skills well known in most horror films.

    (I should mention I brain-derped. Prior to investigating the meat pantry, Dude's player had to leave and Dude was unceremoniously killed in a stair well. Alas.)

    The trail leads under a closed door. The group notices Finnigan is missing. Then the ceiling bursts and Blanc is grabbed by clawed, scaly hands that try to pull him in to the ceiling. It fumbles and drops him and he and Captain unload toward the hole, but there is no response.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)10:56 No.12854360
    They head through the door and find one of the other groups spread across the floor like a chunky tomato carpet.

    Entering the room, five blocks spring from behind a makeshift barricade of a desk and chairs, pointing guns at the group, but lower their weapons when they realise who it is.

    Blanc takes considerably longer to lower his weapon.

    The group relates that everyone else seems to be dead (They'd be right, I rolled for the fates of the 5 NPC groups, only one survived.) and that they decided to hide in this room.

    The Ringleader is present, who Mo Bitches accuses of bringing something else on board as well as the mermaid.

    Ringleader responds he only brought the one Mermaid, but the PCs tell him there's something else on the ship.

    Mo Bitches asks what the fuck the deal with the Mermaid is and Ringleader responds that he "Stole it a little bit." and that it's a fantastic discovery that will make them rich.

    Bitches asks where the guy Ringleader stole it from got it but Ringleader doesn't know.

    Here the Ringleader infers that Blanc knows something about this, suggesting that he is the guy that sold him the Mermaid. (This was a clumsy reveal of Blanc's secret "It's all my fault!" It didn't really go over it, as Mo Bitches glazed it over and the scene continued. There are two options for why, either Mo Bitches figured the Ringleader was talking bollocks or Mo Bitches was in on it.)
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)11:05 No.12854409
    Mo Bitches feels that the group should mayday and call for backup, and the Captain decides they should head up to the bridge to do that shit. The NPCs decide they'd be safer staying put, except for one by the name of Harrison. He relates that he's on the boat, travelling to the country where his pregnant wife is waiting for him. She's scheduled to give birth a few days after his arrival. Mo Bitches feels for him and offers him a flask. Harrison drinks whilst sulking a bit and Bitches warns him not to sob into it.

    The group then head up to the bridge.

    Blanc can't even RECOGNISE the stars overhead and deduces they are really, seriously fucking lost.


    Dense fog just like the dense fog the ship is headed towards.

    They also notice the steering wheel is gone and there's a hole in it's place. Bitches deduces that to fix it, they'd have to head in to the bowels of the ship and connect something to the rudder.

    Blanc hands the Captain the vial of Nitroglycerine and tells him to hold on to it. Carefully.

    Someone suggests the idea of dropping anchor and the DM panics.

    The Captain goes over and drops the anchor. Which keeps going. And going. And then the chain follows it overboard.

    That'll teach those bastard PCs to think of shit I didn't think of.

    Then one suggests to use the back up anchor.

    Damn it.

    The Captain goes out on the deck to pull the lever to release the second anchor. AND THOSE FOOLISH PCs DON'T SAY THEY FOLLOW HIM! NOW IS THE TIME TO STRIKE!
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)11:16 No.12854477
         File1290183406.jpg-(24 KB, 592x336, shecreature2.jpg)
    24 KB
    >Captcha: Broclave grown

    The Captain pulls the lever and the hideous Mer-beast explodes from under the deck. No longer beautiful, it is now covered in spiney spines (Pic related) and seems generally unpleasant.

    It bites a chunk out of the Captain's shoulder and he doesn't even feel it. (He was doing some seriously nice life expectancy rolls.)

    The Captain fires up at it in an attempt to wound the beast, but it doesn't seem to care.

    Blanc fires at it and Mo Bitches charges at the thing and hacks at the creature's back with his machete.

    Blanc recalls the Nitroglycerine he created and thinks: "Wait, if I could get it into it's mouth... But it's facing the other way, where the Captain is... WAIT. THE CAPTAIN HAS THE NITRO"

    Blanc yells at the Captain to throw the nitro in the Mermonster's mouth and climbs into a life raft with Author.

    Mo Bitches hears someone mention high powered explosive and legs it the fuck out of there and into the life raft.

    The Captain pulls out the vial and throws it into the beast's mouth (Using the Armed trait to ensure it makes it).
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)11:24 No.12854531
    >Captcha: Broclave grown

    This will be an upgrade in my BioShock RPG.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)11:31 No.12854561
    Prior to the PCs clambering into the life raft, this exchange occurs. (Another memory herp)

    DM: The blast will envelope the Captain.
    Players: Oh well.
    DM: And the ship.
    Players: Hmm, how much of the ship? How far down? I mean, it won't cripple it, will it?
    DM: No, no, the ship IS the blast radius.
    Players: Oh... To the rafts!

    Anywho, the vial of nitroglycerine strikes the back of the mercreatures throat and explodes.
    I had both the creature and the Captain roll three life expectancy checks and the Captain finally failed some.
    The explosion decimates the ship. All that is left is the lower half. The trio in the life raft are thrown clear of the explosion as flaming debris rains down around them. They fly through the air and land skidding on the water between some jagged rocks.

    Having forgotten about the NPCs that were bailed up in the room as well as Harrison, they presumably died in the blast.

    The three in the life raft watch the water carefully for signs of the creature. The water is beginning to get rocky, they are very close to the DREAD ISLANDS. Zaddok calls out to them from a rock.

    The expressions on my players faces were priceless.

    Author, shocked at how Zaddok could possibly be there, demands to know how he survived the blast. Zaddok replies that he was attached to the underside of the life raft. He is soaking wet.

    Author spots the Captain (Mother fucker still wasn't fucking dead, god DAMN.) clinging to a piece of raft.

    Turning back, they see Zaddok is missing again and the group begin rowing over to collect the Captain.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)11:41 No.12854621
    Top notch.

    The creature bursts from the water between the raft and the Captain.

    Mo Bitches leaps on it's back.

    Trying to keep the beast off the Captain, he attempts to forcefeed the creature a bag of (blue) crystal meth from his lab. He doesn't manage to get it in on his first try and the creature takes a swipe at him but misses. On the second try, he succeeds in jamming the Meth in the beast's mouth. It promptly sinks in confusion.

    The group attempt to row over to the Captain, but he fails his last life expectancy save and is dragged under, never to resurface. As he goes, he invokes his "I was right all along!" secret and shouts that the beast cannot stand on land.

    The group begins rowing toward the jagged rocks of the DREAD ISLANDS, but they are moving far too slowly.

    Noir and Blanc wonder if they can somehow speed this process up and ensure their survival and look around for materials to use. Blanc notices Mo Bitches' automaton Tyrone Maximus floating by them.

    He grabs it, and using the automaton and the machete, the pair DUEL SCIENCE! themselves up a makeshift outboard motor using the machete as the prop. All SCIENCE!dwarfship was of the utmost quality, as the two rolled their maximum SCIENCE!

    They turn on their amazing new outboard and move off at FULL SPEED. Spilling Noir and Author from the boat because they didn't hang on... Noir takes the MACHETEAUTOMATONOUTBOARD with him as he was operating it.

    Blanc brings the raft around and as he gets close the Mercreature explodes from the water and attacks the pair.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)11:50 No.12854666
    It swipes at the pair without too much consequence, and Mo Bitches decides the best course of action is to attack it with the outboard. It takes him some time to decide on a badass line, but unfortunately has his attack miss.

    Mo Bitches invokes his secret: Slow Death. Yelling "I can kill this cancer, but not the cancer in my brain!" And attacks successfully with the outboard, tearing into the chest of the creature and spilling it's vile fluids into the sea. It sinks, shrieking.

    The pair climb into the raft and set off again toward the DREAD ISLANDS and there isn't far to go when Merbitch explodes from the water ahead of them.

    Still going full speed, the trio unload their weapons fire at the creature, Blanc's shotgun dealing some damage and then, as Mobius Bitches Noir screamed "EAT THIS!" The life raft plowed through the Mercreature, exploding it into a mist of blood, gristle and spine chunks that littered the sea around them.

    The creature was finally dead.

    They slowed the boat down and got off on the jagged rocks of the DREAD ISLAND finally feeling somewhat safe. As they wonder what to do, they hear a strange, but beautiful singing. Turning, they see the mist clearing and a beautiful woman perched atop a rock singing, calling to them.

    They feel strangely compelled to heard toward her.

    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)11:58 No.12854705
    All in all, it was good time.
    Look forward to trying it again and having adequate preparation, though it was strangely odd how well it all worked out.

    A seemingly unuseful robot turning out to be the hinge to defeat the boss in the end game.

    Foreshadowing all over the place, most of which sadly got forgotten throughout the transcript.
    Either way, I hope the guy who homebrewed the system finds this and can deliver on the rulebook.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)12:05 No.12854746
    Good shit.
    >> Beast !B6mhVxi5gg 11/19/10(Fri)12:09 No.12854770
    Well, it's been fun recounting all this and a hell of a time typing it all up, so it's time for me to head to bed.


    Theres the original B-Movie homebrew thread again, I'm hoping the creator will ensure the full version gets archived or hosted somewhere somehow.

    Have a good one, guys.
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)12:11 No.12854785
    >But not the cancer in mah BRAAAAAIN!!!
    >> Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)12:43 No.12855028
    Haha, good shit. I'm surprised the black guy lived.

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