The Harlequin went to town
A deadly man in tiii-ights!~

I was thinking about this kind of thing the other day. I came up with a world/game idea where circuses are a racial memory of invading clown demons, only said demons invade again and you, as a jestery-type dude with ninja powers, a revolver and custard pies, must save the day.

So I guess you could work in some kind of travelling circus that also kicks demon/undead/evil ass, like Harlequins from 40k, or you could just have some guy that ran away to the circus and then ran away from that because it was shit. Rogue or Monk would probably be the best class for that, but since my DnD knowledge sucks, I'll leave that to better qualified fa/tg/uys.

i always loved the idea of a jester to be dark and crazy.

arent jesters supposed to be mentally retarded

>>12785649
Last thread got me to do some research.
Historically there were two kinds of Jesters that were often employed by royalty for entertainment.

The first kind were the Licensed Fools who allowed to act like assholes and jerks to whoever they wanted by the King's orders.

The Second kind were the Natural Fools, who were the mentally handicapped and retarded who were allowed to make an ass of themselves because they couldn't help it.

>>12785649

Jesters were the Jon Stewarts of their time.

it was their job to mercilessly scold societies bigwigs for every mistake they made, while disguising it as comedy so they didn't lose too much face.

An intelligent, skillful Jester is best done by a Factotum or Rogue. A more magical, 'dark' Jester can probably be done quite well by the Pathfinder witch... I know of a paladin homebrew which lets you select abilities with their own restrictions from various choices tied to chaos/law/good/evil. You could make an incarnation of pure chaos using this homebrew.

>>12785697

And then there were Tom O'Bedlams, entertaining lunatics. Either they were let out of the asylum and had to survive through begging, or people would visit them in the hospital and pay to see the nutters.

This thread made me think... has anyone ever tried to use the premise of Devil May Cry 3 for any of their games? Sounds like a pretty cool dungeon to run.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SGGHM0M1FA

MECHANICAL
Well, if you're going to be playing DnD 3.5, I'd suggest the Jester PrC. Its in dragon compendium. Not a bad class, and at 10th level, you can kill people with humour.

FLUFF
A jester is supposed to be the outsider - >>12785699 has it right - you stand outside of everything and point out what is wrong. Slap on some super powers or adventuring group and you're the perfect PC.

You're privy to more information as an adventurer, and with a charismatic speech you can make everyone believe you. Not only are you immune to response - you're the fool, after all, you're immune to beatings because you've got adventurers with you.

Class it up with some classy classic archetypes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commedia_del_arte

You can expect a spanking from daddy later

Need a level or two of Bard, with Perform (Tomfoolery)

>>12785699
My next character shall be MICHELANGELO NESTORE, a jester bard from long forgotten snowy town who deals with the noblity with the help of his puppets

>>12786073
The nobles force him to watch terrible plays for ideas, so he brings his puppets along and takes the piss.

I think this idea is so interesting to me because it can be played out in so many ways.

You could play it like the Joker and Harlequin and turn simple pranks into deadly weapons.

You could be the harmless fool who tumbles and flips about the battlefield, never actually injuring your enemies, but embarrassing, tripping, and throwing them off balance while your allies run them through.

Someone mentioned a Jester's kit that makes you a nega-bard, tossing out insulting and weakening your foes and turning your normal bonus to your allies into a penalty for enemies.

Or you could be a an evil guy who dresses like a clown to throw people off, since that seems to be fairly common and accepted

>>12786353
Or you could just be the asshole that won't stop cracking puns and gets killed by another party member who can't take it anymore

rolled 27 = 27

>>12785715
>A more magical, 'dark' Jester can probably be done quite well by the Pathfinder witch

Could be done with Warlock too.

I'd probably cringe seeing somebody roleplaying a funny man yaknow?

As an element of the plot, they work well for cryptic advice on where the party should go next or random other tidbits you want the players to know, but no one else should be telling them.

>pic related. pic may or may not also be a beard.

In your party, I like the negabard idea. Although I'm more apt for nonsensical and extremely environment based abilities that require prep time to use most effectively.

>>12786651
It would depend on the game you're playing, wouldn't it? It would certainly be a challenge to play a Jester-like character who wouldn't annoy every other player.

However, a game where everyone is playing one, like some sort of traveling adventuring circus...

>>12786641
Oh yeah, definitely.

>>12786651
I am now convinced you are Zhaaku and Edward.

I wont lie to you /tg/, I'm finding this erotic.

I think it's the mask

I used the idea in a 2nd Edition game a while back. Basically, the whole of the realm was under secret political control of the Bardic Colleges, each of which orchestrated a variety of political maneuverings so that they might have more epic tales to tell in the future. Basically evolved out of a more stagnant age, where the bards were tired of only retelling the stories.

Barathen College, also known as "The Last Laugh", was the one situated in the chaotic, angry, crush-the-fuck-out-of-everything nation, and they basically trained Jesters to piss the living hell out of warriors. They spent the entire time inciting brawls in the militaristic nobility, getting the peasantry annoyed at their situation through puppet shows and satire, and otherwise making the entire nation incredibly pissed.

Their leaders, The Harlequin Council, almost managed a TPK through the use of a giant building full of 'hilarious' traps, and managed to drive the Paladin almost completely insane by the end of it.

God, I loved that adventure. So many hilarious moments from that section, including the fact the players declared a crusade against puppet shows after the marionette incident.

>>12786800
fukken saved. can this thread degenerate into a frenzy of fapping to harlequins?

>>12786800
>>12786800
I don't know I think it's the facepaint for me.

>>12786817
Well I'm not sure about harlequins, but I got more of those Vence masks if you want em

In fantasy craft there's a jester specialty (in the AC) that you can take, leaving your choice of class to decide how he solves problems. Any combination of sage, courtier, assassin, emissary (AC) would probably be fine, though assassin and emissary would be more on the darker side, understandably.

"Hey Bats, how ya doin?"

Dont know why nobody post some Harley Quinn.

>>12786890

Dont mind me, just being slow. >>12786817

>>12786840

>>12786890
Joker can has Death Note?

>>12786817 This Harley is sexier than that Harley >>12786898

>>12786940

Seconded.

Suddenly, TWINS!

>>12786940

And maybe its because she is covered in a white gooey substance that shows off "DEM TITS & HIPS" as she leans towards you?

>>12787014
Not that i'd complain about that, but she'd still be sexier without the gooey substance.

>>12786940
Duh, AA Harley looks like a generic hooker just off the street. Cartoon/Comics Harley looks perfect.

>>12786890
>>12786898
Is this some V:tM mod or something?

>>12787044
It's Harley from the decent/good "Batman: Arkham Asylum" game.

>>12787030
Wow man. I wouldn't even have guessed that was supposed to be her.

>>12787052
Pretty sure that's now how she looks in the game.
Also NSFW pic related: http://rule34-images.paheal.net/_images/b1783c9fe7426253ecef4a943e7ace67/512198%20-%20Batman%20Batma
n%3A_Arkham_City%20Catwoman%20DC%20Harley_Quinn.jpg

>>12787052
Is it for AA 2? She had a nurse's outfit in the first.

>>12787029

I can dig it.

>>12787044

Its screens of the new batman game.

>>12787052
Wow, didn't know about this one, thanks a lot.

>>12787062

Somehow her showing off her tits makes her an even bigger turn-off than before

There is sex appeal, and there is being a shameless whore. Why, oh why, did AA have to cross that line?

>>12787132

We may never know.

>>12787132
It's poorly photoshopped, not a really screen from the game.

>>12787132
I like the whole jester mask thing, but Haley really doesn't do it for me.

Is that odd?

Sod it, one more from me as i love you guys and gals.

>>12787155

I'm aware of that. I'm merely stating that it's even more unattractive than she is ordinarily, and I sought to imply that AA portrayed her as far less attractive than she was in, say, the cartoon

>>12787148
Is Ivy/Harley canon in any of the billion DC universes or just fanwank in the most literal sense?

>>12787274

I do think it is canon, but its been years since i read a DC comic.

>>12787274

I don't think it's explicitly stated in the cartoon or comics, but the creators consider it cannon. Pic related.

Is this thread still alive...? Oh well.

>>12787274
I seem to remember something from the cartoon where she got dumped by or ditched the Joker and ended up living with Ivy for a while.. Though that may have just been a sexy sexy dream.

>>12785699
except they were funny and usually not badly biased

>>12790180
Dohohohoho! POLITICS!

But serious, bro, Jon Stewart is a good example of a modern Jester. He gives everyone the shit they deserve, regardless of political leaning or status. That's what Jesters do.

I give them a shitload of powers and rage and make them my BBEG. Pic related.

>>12790249
>But serious, bro, Jon Stewart is a good example of a modern Jester.

it seems like this image you have of him is really important to you, so that's cool. have fun with that

>He gives everyone the shit they deserve, regardless of political leaning or status. That's what Jesters do.

the Jesters role in a court was to say what needed to be said to the authority figure that couldn't be said by normal people because it would be seen as treasonous by them whereas it was just a joke from the jester. there's nothing that can't be said by normal people these days so no. you're wrong about that.

also, jon stewart makes snide comments and obvious, easy jokes usually about things that are taken out of context. often times completely ignoring everything that isn't eye catching. it's not real news. that's the whole bases of his show and the colbert report. it's like the cartoon section in the newspaper except not as entertaining. if you're taking him seriously than that's kind of sad
colbert is at least witty. stewart is just a washed up, watered down, mediocrity who is only liked by college kids, pot heads, and pseudo-"intellectuals".

bro.

>>12790767

Where did Jon Stewart touched you, anon? You can tell us.

>>12790249

>He gives everyone the shit they deserve, regardless of political leaning or status.

No, no he doesn't. It used to seem like he would, but the Rally to Restore Sanity proved that when the chips are down, he'll puss out. Moderation in temper is always a virtue. Moderation in principle is always a vice. Tone won't help for shit now, because you can't reason with psychos like the Tea Party, and yet Stewart insists on this civil tone when he should know damn well that everyone who will actually listen to him and take his advice are the Democrats, who have been proving for the past few years that they're already wimpy milquetoasts who couldn't stand up to the Republicans if their lives depended on it. Telling everyone to stop being so vicious when the only vicious ones are already raving psychotic doesn't do shit, it just makes the crazies feel justified because people aren't getting in the way of their insanity.

>>12790818

So yeah, harlequins.

>>12785571

christ...I work at gamestop and have to hear that shit all freaking day

>>12786800

It's the hood that gets me.

Australian here. I was so confused for half of this thread because when you say Jon Stewart I think of the Green Lantern. I only just found out he's a tv presenter.

Still going, huh?
Let's see where we are
Oh, what the fuck... Now we're talking about politics? Damn it.

>>12790927

This thread is 1000% times more awesome if you imagine they're talking about GL.

>>12790890
>>12790926
Thank you.

>>12790925
Me too. Burned into my fucking skull.

>>12787030

This is my major grief with Harley's design in AA.

Also, there isn't nearly enough Harley/Harle porn on the internet. Believe me, I know.

MOAR HARLEQUINS

There was a pretty good Jester homebrew from Frank Trollman and K's Dungeonomicon. I advise that you look into it; it's a full 20-level base class, and you can play it as a dark, magic-y jester or a more benign fool.

>>12790981

>good
>Frank Trollman

OH YOU ARE A JESTER, SIR

>>12790948

I don't deserve your thanks. I may have posted this:
>>12790890

But I only did so after posting this:
>>12790867

I can't help it. When I see a political discussion, I feel driven to leap in, with an axe in each hand. At least I managed to pull out before I blew my load completely, eh?

Sorry I think a beat, are we still talking about girls in Harlequin masks?

>>12791034

That or the Red Death. The pics in this thread swing back and forth between my fetish and my Poe-spawned dread.

y hallo thar

>>12790989

I never really followed his stuff, but I gather that he's been stigmatized due to his presence on the Pathfinder forums or somesuch. I don't really know why, nor do I hugely care. However, the Dungeonomicon was not written by him alone, and it was prior to the release and playtesting of Pathfinder.

At least, I think that's what the problem is. I really have no idea why he's so reviled around here. Anyway, regardless of his personal character or other works, I think that the Dungeonomicon and his Jester class are pretty well-written.

>>12791051

I gave him 20 dollars. Get the fuck out of my house, asshole.

>>12791016
Apology accepted

>>12790980
I'm trying to dig up more harlequin images now... Fuck.. Just be careful using google image search. I tried searching just 'Harlequin' and got a page full of deformed clown fetuses.. UHGjklp hauipeawvte I need eyeball bleach

HOO HOO HOO

>>12791054

He was on the Pathfinder forums?

I just heard of him because he stigmatized himself EVERYWHERE he's been except for one place on the whole damn internet for being the asspiest asspie to ever ass. Given his track record he probably pulled the same shit on their forums that he did everywhere else.

Faggot couldn't even wait until Gygax's corpse was cold before he started pissing on the well wishing. And let's not even get started with all the bridge burning that fatfuck has done, and then blames professional game designers for having it out for him.

The guy's got a persecution complex and a messiah complex. Throw the two together along with all the lickspittles that slobber his cock on the Gaming Den and there ya go, recipe for entrenched social retardation. Also, he can NOT write anything without adopting a self-absorbed, haughty tone. And he thinks the default power level for the game has to be and should be rocket tag.

At least I THINK that's /tg/'s beef with him.

Say what you will, we're at least honest about our deviance.

That said, not EVERYTHING he's done is shit. Checking that out.

>>12791099
naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Buy scroll of Enlarge Person

Waste it on self

GRAAAAAHR

>>12791116

I see. My sole familiarity with him comes from a series of books/articles/splats/whatever he wrote with K, which I thought were well-written, enjoyable, and full of sound advice. I suppose I also heard about him from the Dominions 3 forums tangentially, in that he used to be a member but at some point deleted everything he'd ever written or made and left completely.

>>12791151

If you just know him for his work, he become much more palatable. Some of the stuff he's written rubs a lot of people the wrong way though, on account of how he writes.

No big.

Seriously? No Jack of Blades yet?

>>12791169

Well, I guess you'll either like it or you won't, so I might as well direct you to his stuff: http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/DnD_Sourcebooks

I think it's pretty good, his writing style doesn't grate on me, and I've never spoken with the man, so it's all pretty palatable.

Why has a /tg/ thread about Harlequins had exactly NO Eldar in it?

>>12791252
Because there's more to /tg/ than 40k.

>>12791252

I think >>12787271 is Harley Quinn in eldar getup

>>12791261
no there isn't, don't even lie.

>>12791261

YOU LIE.

I don't even play 40k, but I suppose Eldar Harlequin are relevant to my interests...

I think that Shakespeare's Fool from King Lear is clouding the pool here.

Well, ... actually not really. The court position of The Fool doesn't work very well for a party. A history of a Fool works well and would be fantastic to DM for and play with as a PC.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakespearian_fool

>>12790927
Kyle Rayner did a Fresh Prince rap. Sadly I didn't save the page and I'm not too keen on asking /co/ or /r/ for it. It was kinda "meh".

My brain has shut off for the night.
One last Harlequin before I go.

Hey guys, what's going on in this thread?

>>12791515

This just makes me want to start that "women in pantaloons" thread even more.

I'm actually going to be in a PF game soon, and the DM's allowing 3.5 classes with some minor alterations. It's a gestalt game, possibly Planescape-y (pre-Faction War). I'm hoping to make a Xaositect harlequin, but I need to know: I'm going Factotum for one half of the gestalt, but what should the other half be? Thinking Rogue or Bard.

How about a Hellequin?

>>12791413
Wait. Kyle Rayner? As in Green Lantern Kyle Rayner?

somebody's character sketch from a previous thread

Wasn't there a Jester class for 3.5 in that Dragon Magazine anthology book? How was it?

>>12791574
Yes.

He told the story of how his life got flipped, turned upside down.

I seem to remember a Pathfinder Bard variant from the Advanced Player's Guide called the Court Bard (or something like that). Got abilities that weakened the resolve/rolls/etc. of opponents. This could easily fit into what several people have suggested.

>>12791656
Jester class is decent, kind of an inverse bard, instead of Perform: Musical Shite to boost allies, you use Perform: Yo Momma Jokes to debuff allies.

Seriously, first ability is to mock the fuck out of a guy as an immediate action when he misses in combat, giving him further penalties to his attack rolls.

Add to that a great spell list, and a nice 10th level ability to make enchantment shit work on Undead, and its a fairly decent class.

>>12792904

>debuffer class
>via "Yo mamma" jokes

I must play this class. Thank you.

Found this pic in my first foray into /ic/ a few hours ago.

Certainly relevant.

And Awesome.

>>12792966
>>12785699

welp.

also, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanczyk

>mfw when this thread and noone mentions malkavians

>>12792995
That's why I had to change the picture to post it...
It wasn't from that /ic/ thread.

Skills.

>>12792995
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Till_Eulenspiegel

Actually, there were two kinds of jester: Natural fools - borderline retarded nitwits whose foolery was forgiven, as "they couldn't help it" - and licensed fools, who are more the kind talked about in this thread - wits whose jokes are more political in nature, but are forgiven as they have been given permission by the court to be rude. But those fools weren't immune to punishment: James I of England threw one of his fools out for overstepping his boundaries.

Naturally, I would advise anybody wanting to play a jester to follow the route of the licensed fool.

>A German, Paul Wüst, declined an offer of a post as jester with the sort of brazen dismissiveness that explains why he was asked. When Duke Eberhard the Bearded of Würtemburg (1445-96) invited him to be his jester he replied, "My father sired his own fool; if you want one too, then go and sire one for yourself"

>Get inspired by this thread yesterday
>Start making murderous harlequin character for D&D 4E
>Go to Google images
>Search for 'harlequin'

FUCK

>-baby -fetus -ichthyosis
>Still get a bunch of those images

FUCK

>Type in 'scary jester' instead
>Get this

FUCK

>In India the same entrance requirements prevailed: make me laugh and you're in. Tenali Rama, one of the three superstar jesters of India, is said to have earned his position as jester by making King Krsnadevaraya laugh. According to one story, he contrived for the king's guru to carry him around on his shoulders within sight of the king. Outraged at the humiliation of his holy man, the king sent some guards out to beat the man riding on the guru's shoulders. Tenali Rama, smelling impending danger, jumped down and begged forgiveness of the guru, insisting that to make amends he should carry him on his own shoulders. The guru agreed, and when the guards arrived the guru was duly beaten. The king found the trick amusing enough to appoint Tenali Rama his jester.

>It is in the nature of jesters to speak their minds when the mood takes them, regardless of the consequences. They are neither calculating nor circumspect, and this may account for the "foolishness" often ascribed to them. Jesters are also generally of inferior social and political status and are rarely in a position (and rarely inclined) to pose a power threat. They have little to gain by caution and little to lose by candor—apart from liberty, livelihood, and occasionally even life, which hardly seems to have been a deterrent. They are peripheral to the game of politics, and this can reassure a king that their words are unlikely to be geared to their own advancement. Jesters are not noted for flattery or fawning. The ruler can be isolated from his courtiers and ministers, who might conspire against him. The jester too can be an isolated and peripheral figure somehow detached from the intrigues of the court, and this enables him to act as a kind of confidant.

>The foolishness of the jester, whether in his odd appearance or his levity, implies that he is not passing judgment from on high, and this may be less galling than the "holier than thou" corrective of an earnest adviser. One of the most effective techniques the jester uses to point out his master's folly is allowing him to see it for himself. Rather than contradicting the king, the jester will agree with a harebrained scheme so wholeheartedly that the suggestion is taken to a logical extreme, highlighting its stupidity. The king can then decide for himself that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

>The jester is in a sense on the side of the ruler. The relationship was often very close and amiable, and the jester was almost invariably a cherished rather than a tolerated presence. This leads to the kindliness of jesters: they could be biting in their attacks, but there is usually an undercurrent of good-heartedness and understanding to their words. If they talk the king out of slicing up some innocent, it is not only to save him from the king's wrath but also to save the king from himself—they can be the only ones who will tell him he suffers from moral halitosis.

>The jester is also perceived as being on the side of the people, the little man fighting oppression by the powerful. By fooling wisely ("en folastrant sagement"), the jester often won favor among the people ("gaigna de grace parmy le peuple"). In the folk perception of southern India a king was hardly considered a king without his jester, and the continuing appeal of the court jester in India, in stories and comic books, is perhaps equaled only in Europe. He may have disappeared from the courts and corridors of power, but he still has a powerful hold on the collective imagination. Yet he is no rebel or revolutionary. His detached stance allows him to take the side of the victim in order to curb the excesses of the system without ever trying to overthrow it—his purpose is not to replace one system with another, but to free us from the fetters of all systems

Now that I think about I have seen more "Evil demonic/malicious" Jester characters than all the other types combined.

Didn't know there was so much importance to Jesters. Also, this >>12790950 needs more Harle

My next Changeling character will be a jester.

I am interested. Here's art by one of my players as a reward.

It's probably the makeup that gets me.

Do go on. I want to make a jester character someday too.

>>12794722
harlederp

The text I just posted was from "Fooling Around The World: The History of the Jester" Basically, if you want to play a jester (and I'm certainly considering it) then just remember that jester =/= asshole.

You can be witty, you can make fart jokes, but for God's sake DON'T just piss people off... unless you're using that 3.5 class from Dragon (found here: http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Jester_%283.5e_Class%29 - it looks okay, but the fluff is a bit too THIS ISN'T YOUR FATHER'S JESTER).

I remember once reading a magazine article about jesters, with all these really clever anecdotes about how jesters got along with their masters. I'll try and find some more if I can; in the meantime, enjoy this highly boobtacular Harley Quinn fanart.

"For the love of the saints, give a poor blind man alms!"

"Pray pity the poor blind; and Heaven preserve your
precious eyesight!"

"Born blind, gracious signer; bestow your charity on
one who never saw light!"

Thus prayed three blind beggars, as Gonella passed by
them to Mass. "Poor fellows!" said the jester, "there is
a florin, divide it amongst you." He gave nothing at all;
and as those who stood near smiled, he put his finger on his
lips, to enjoin silence.

"May Heaven reward you in Paradise!" said the blind
men, in chorus;—and a moment after, " Let us share the
signor's charity." But as neither had any florin, and as no
one believed that he was not being robbed by his fellow?.
they fell to savage words, and from savage words to blows,
fiercely striking at each other with their crutches till heads
were broken and bleeding; and Gonella passed in to
prayers, with the complacent comment, " Blessed are the
peace-makers !"

>>12794960

I don't think that's from Dragon Magazine, at least not originally. That was first posted in Frank Trollman and K's Dungeonomicon.

Among the practical jokes of this court fool I recognize
many that really belong to a much earlier period, and
which must have been current as " stories" at the time
they are narrated as having been performed by Scogan
himself. The following, however, is said to be properly
assigned to him. He had borrowed a large sum of money of
tho King.

Some stories say the Queen, and Flogel even
names Quern Elizabeth as the patroness of this jester ! The
sum is sot down at £500, which is extremely doubtful. Be
this as it may, a day for payment had been named; and
when that day had arrived, Scogan was not prepared to pay
the debt. After much thought upon the matter, he fell sick
and died, and requested his friends to bury him in such a
way that the Sovereign should encounter the funeral.

They
entered into the joke with great alacrity, put on the trappings
of mitigated affliction, and in due time carried Scogan
forth on a comfortably-arranged bier, when they contrived, as
directed, to encounter Edward.

When Louis XV. saw the
funeral of his old favourite, Madame de Pompadour, he had
the bad taste to cut a sorry joke. When Edward met the
funeral procession of Scogan, he regretted the loss of his
merry follower; and among other kind things to which he
gave utterance, remarked, that he freely forgave Scogan and
his representatives the sum for which the jester was indebted
to him.

The buffoon, who had expected this act of
release, immediately jumped up, thanked his illustrious creditor,
and prudently called all present to bear witness to
the Royal act of grace : "It is so revivifying," said Scogan,
"that it has called me to life again."

If this incident be
true, we may also believe, as we are requested to do, that
great mirth followed thereupon.

Frederick of Saxony, surnamed the Sage, rendered his claim to this title doubtful, by his attention to the descent of his family. A celebrated genealogist had told him, that a copy of his pedigree was preserved in Noah's ark. To substantiate this account, the prince neglected all affairs of state, to the great regret of his ministers, who remonstrated with him on the absurdity, but all to no purpose. At length his cook, who was his favorite buffoon, desired an audience of him, when he told the emperor, that this curiosity to know his origin was neither useful nor honorable. "At present," said the jester, " I look upon you as subordinate only to the Deity; but if you search into Noah's ark, perhaps I shall discover that you and I are cousins, as we have all had our relations there." What the serious advice of his ministers could not effect, was performed by the emperor's cook.

From: The Percy Anecdotes by Sholto Percy

It's always nice to find your thread surviving the night...

>>12791638
I drew that, actually. I had all sorts of jester stuff on the mind. That picture was part of the reason that I started the last Jester thread.

Sorry fa/tg/uys, no more jester stories for today. Instead, have this awe-inspiringly boobtacular fanart of Harley Quinn

>>12795250
No! Damnit! We know you've got more!

>>12795250
Sweet zombie Jegus...
Cast Enlarge Person. Stop half way?

>>12795250
To be honest i prefer the normal version.

>>12795066

They're an asshole that got three blind men to beat each other to death before going to church.
I can respect that.

>>12795371
Okay, I managed to find the book where I got the previous stories, but I won't be able to post them for a while. Bump this thread every hour on the hour until I come back.

Sorry.

Okay, DON'T bump this thread.

In the days of old, it happened that all Olympus was dull,
and Zeus complained, yawning the while, that there was
not a fool amongst the gods, with wit enough to keep the
divine assembly alive, or to kill the members of it with
laughter.

" Father," said Mercury, " the sport that is lacking here,
may be found for us all, on earth. Look at that broad tract
of lend between the Peneus and Aliacmon. It is all alive
with folks in their holiday gear, enjoying the sunshine, eat-
ing sweet melons, singing till they are hoarse, and dancing
till they are weary."

" What then ?" asked Jupiter.

" It would be rare sport, oh king of gods and men, to
scatter all these gaily-robed revellers, and by a shower, spoil
their finery."

" Thou hast lived to little purpose in witty companion-
ship, complacent son of Maia," observed the Olympian, " if
that be thy idea of sport. But thy thought is susceptible
of improvement. Let that serene priest, who is fast asleep
by the deserted shrine below, announce that a shower is indeed about to descend, but that it shall wet none but
fools."

A slight sound of thunder was heard, and the aroused
servant of the gods stood in front of the altar, and made
the requisite announcement to the people. There was a
philosopher close by, leaning against the door-post of his
modest habitation. He no sooner heard that the impend-
ing storm was to wet only the fools, than he first hastily
covered his head, and next hurriedly entered his dwelling-
place and shut himself up in his study. Xot another indi-
vidual prepared to avoid the tempest. Each man waited
to see the fools drenched, and every man there was, in two
minutes, wet to the very skin.

When the sun re-appeared, the philosopher walked out
into the market-place. The thoroughly-soaked idiots, ob-
serving his comfortable condition, hailed the good man with
the epithet of " fool." They pelted him with sticks and
stones, tore his gown, plucked his beard, and loaded him
with foul terms that would have twisted the jaw of Aristophanes.

Bruised, battered, deafened, staggering, the philosopher nevertheless contrived to keep his wits. " Oh, sagacious asses!" said he to the roaring crowd, who at once sank into silence at the compliment paid to their wisdom, " have patience but for a single minute, and I will prove to you that I am not such a fool as I look." Bending back his head, and turning the palms of his hands upwards to the sky, " Oh wise father," he exclaimed, " of the witty and the witless, vouchsafe to send down upon me a deluge for my peculiar and individual use. Wet me to the skin even as these fools are wet. Constitute me, thereby, as great a fool as my neighbours ; and enable me, in consequence, a fool, to live at peace among fools."

At these words, the two assemblies, of idiots below, and of Olympians above, shook with laughter, at once loud and inextinguishable. Down came the shower prayed for, upon the person of the philosopher, but peculiar influences were sent down with it, and the dripping sage rose from his
knees ten times wittier than he was before.

Jupiter's beard was yet wagging with laughter, and merry tears fell from the eyelids of Juno, whose head lay in frolicsome helplessness upon the bosom of her hilarious lord, when the latter exclaimed, " We have spoiled that good fellow's robe, but we will also make his fortune."

" That is already accomplished," remarked Juno. " I
have just breathed into the ear of the chief of the district, and Tie is now taking the philosopher home with him, to be at once his diverter and instructor."

At night, as all Olympus looked down into the court of
the prince, near whom, at the banquet, the wise fool lay,pouring out witty truths as fast as his lips could utter them, the gods both envied the fun and admired the wisdom.
" That fellow," cried Jupiter, " shall be the founder of a
race. Henceforward each court shall have its fool; and
fools shall be, for many a long day, the preachers and admonishers of kings. Children," he added, to the gods and goddesses, "let us drink his health !"

The brilliant society thus addressed could neither drink
nor speak, for laughing. " Dear master," said Hebe, as she took her place behind the monarch of divinities, who looked at her inquiringly, " they laugh, because you did not say fools, such as he, should henceforward furnish kings with funny counsel and comic sermons."

" Let their majesties look to it," answered Jove, " here's a health to the first of fools !"

That was the story of the first jester... apparently. I've got stories from England, Italy, Germany, France, Spain and "The Orient" (this was written in the 1850's remember). Which do you want first?

>>12796006
I'm going to be honest. All that flourishy language gave my a headache.

>>12796074
I'm going to be more honest.

I just tl;dr'd and saved the Harley pics.

>>12796074
Yeah, that was too much. I'll give you something quick and fun, from the British jesters. This is also a good lesson as to when something isn't funny to somebody else.

The first of the household fools named by Armin, “Jack Gates," carried a small black-jack quart at his girdle, for Jack's delight was in beer. He was tall, imwieldly, misshapen. He was given to sport, was quite as much given to swear, was conceited, gamesome, gleesome, “apt to joys," but "nastie."

He was the servant, or jester, of Sir William Hollis, whom he called " "Willy." and otherwise used with great familiarity.”When strange servants came to the house, he was addicted to setting them at loggerheads; and once, when an earl, arriving on a visit, greeted Lady Hollis, at her husband's side, by a kiss, Jack Gates gave him a box of the ear, for which Sir William gave the jester a whipping. He deserved as much, for his sorry excuse for giving a cuff to the Earl. “He asked the Earl where his hand was.’ Here,' quoth he. "With that Jack shakes him by it, and says: ' I mistook it before, not knowing your ear from your hand; being so like one another.' “The compliment was so ill-turned that Gates was scourged for this also.

>>12796120
Well duh, she's really hot. One from France now (sorry for the delay, the ebook I'm getting these from has some really shitty formatting)

By way of sample of what was then probably considered a rather neat joke, and showing how Henri profited by being constantly in company with Chicot, I may cite the traditionary incident of the monk preaching from the back of an
ass. "Which is the preacher?" said the King, “for they both speak at the same time." “The one beneath is the most eloquent," replied Chicot, "but the uppermost one speaks the best French."

Another one from this Chicot guy; hey, Dumas thought he was hot stuff, and that guy knew what he was talking about.

Here is not quite an imaginary picture of the wisdom of the “fou," as he looks over a chess-board at which he is sitting alone, meditating the while on the dangers threatening Henri III. To one who questions him, he replies, “I am disquieted about the King. At chess, you see, the King is but an insignificant personage. He has no will of his own; can only move one step forward or back; one step to the right or to the left, while he is surrounded by foes on the alert; by knights who jump three squares at a time; by a mob of pawns, who close round him; and if he be only ill-advised, he is a lost and ruined king in no time."

Back to England now. To be honest, I'm just picking them at random here. Also, I'm running low on sfw Harley Quinn pics here...

Among these was Patch, who is said to have been jester to Henry VIII By some, this name is supposed to stand for “fool" generally. Others, with better reason, believe that Patch was the cant-name of "Williams and Saxton, fools of Cardinal Wolsey. However this may be, we may be sure that a jester alone could have dared to make such a King as Henry VIII. look ridiculous, as a fool called by this name, " Patch," is said to have done when he besought the King to grant him a warrant authorizing him to exact an egg from every husband who had serious reasons to be dissatisfied with the conduct of his wife. The King thought it a fair joke, and the warrant being drawn up in sportiveness, he signed the document in full gaiety of spirit. The ink was scarcely dry when the jester, bowing with mock gravity, demanded the first egg from the King. " Tour Grace," said he, " belongs to the class of husbands on whom I am
entitled to make levy." The joke was not very well relished, and the warrant was cancelled.

Magic is always good for them. Sometimes just minor stuff. Levels in bard or sorcerer.
Illusion and enchantment as well. The flashy and harmless yet sometimes mystifying and deadly.

A fool has power over peoples mind, charismatic. He is at both times the center of the rooms attention and the rooms derision. Somebody to be looked up and be disregarded as harmless entertainment.

Personality can vary depending on what you are going for. A jester with a cold, dispassionate personality can come off far creepier than any monster clown simply due to the disparity of the smiling face or perhaps even a mask with a face on it and a cold monotone.

The fool should be light hearted and silly but never stupid. All he does he does with care and planning. his very life is like a stage show and he is the director and actor.

Last one for a while now

There is a story of a fool at a continental Court, in early days, who stirred up all the wrath that could be contained in the heart of the Lord Chamberlain, by so exact an imitation of his voice, and so sarcastic a description of his character, as to excite roars of laughter in every soul in the banqueting room, from the sovereign beneath the dais to the scullion at the door, waiting for the dirty plates. The angry Chamberlain encountered Sir Fool an hour afterwards, when he communicated to the latter his intention, at fitting opportunity, to see if a few inches of his poniard could not stop
the loquacious folly of the other for ever. The merry-andrew flew to his princely master, and sought protection for his life.

"Be of good heart, merry cock!" said the prince; "if the Chamberlain dares run his dagger into your throat, his throat shall be in a halter the day after. I will hang him as
high as Haman."

"Ah, father!" cried the jester, "the day after has but promise of sorry consolation in it. He may thrust his knife between my ribs tomorrow ; and couldn't you hang him the day before ?"

>>12796409

that is fantastic.... saved

>his couituan

Reboot!

>>12796701
>Dat everything

>>12796701
I'm not gonna lie; Hexadecimal was never responsible for any childhood boners for me, and the fact that her voice actress is of penshionable age ensures that she will never be responsible for any adult boners. Anyway, back to the stories!

De Tillot quotes two authors who make mention of this female fool, Mathurine. The first is the anonymous author of ' La Lunatique,' who, addressing the King's male jester, "Maitre Guillaume," remarks : "Thou doest well to have small love for the Reformers. Satan himself looks on them only with regret ; and for a good reason, seeing that if the Reformers could have their way, there would soon be an end of court fools and buffoons. Ah, poor Mathurine, and you poor fellows, Angouleveut, Maitre Gruillaume, and indeed all you other fools, as well without hoods as with, where would all your pensions be if the Reformers had the upper hand?"

Pierrot, the sad clown
>The defining characteristic of Pierrot is his naïveté: he is seen as a fool, always the butt of pranks, yet nonetheless trusting. Especially after his appropriation by the late 19th-century Symbolist poets, he is also portrayed as almost tragically moonstruck, distant from and oblivious to reality.

I have already spoken of the buffoons who could not move the gravity of their own solemn master Attila ; and we know that Timour rather kept these people for the amusement of his guests, than that he experienced any satisfaction himself in the exercise of their craft. They were not wanting in the Courts of the Caliphs, and the name of Bahalul conspicuously figures among the cap-and-bell favourites of Haroon Al-Raschid. It was to him that the Caliph once said, " Fool, give me a list of all the blockheads in Bagdad." To which Bahalul answered, " That were not so easy, and would take too long ; but if you want a list of the wise men, you shall have it in two minutes."

It was in jest that Haroon presented him a document, by which he was constituted governor of all the bears, wolves, foxes, apes, and asses, in the Caliphate. " It is too much for me," said the fool ; " I am not ambitious enough to desire to rule all your holiness's subjects."

Has anybody archived this on sup/tg/? Cause I don't mean to brag or anything, but we've got some good shit here.

Selim, the son of Bajazet, was one with whom the most favoured of his followers could not with impunity venture on freedom of speech. When engaged on his Egyptian expedition, one of his officials the most closely attached to his person, hazarded the question as to when his Majesty expected to be at Cairo. " We shall be there," said Selim, " when it may please God. As for thy arrival there, it rather pleases me that thou shalt stay here." And therewith, on a sign from the Sultan, the unlucky querist was instantly put to death.

>>12796921

>Pierrot

After the demise of Francis I we meet with a personage who, without being a jester by vocation, probably caused more mirth and laughter at the court of Henry II than was ever raised there by courtier or court fool. The name of this personage was Mendoza, and the first subject for his wit he found in a solemn circumstance. Henry celebrated the obsequies of his predecessor in magnificent style. The priest who pronounced the funeral oration maintained that King Francis had been of so holy a life, that his soul had gone to Paradise without passing through Purgatory. The denial of Purgatory was a favourite tenet of the Reformers.

The Sorbonne accused the preacher of heresy, and sent a deputation to St. Germain, to make known their complaint to the King. Mendoza, then, a chief officer of the court, first received it, and, by a facetious speech, saved Henry from an act of injustice." Calm yourselves, gentlemen," said he to the deputies of the Sorbonne; "if you had known the good King Francis as well as I did, you would have better understood the words of the preacher. Francis was not a man to tarry long anywhere ; and if he did take a turn in Purgatory, believe me, the devil himself could not persuade him to make anything like a sojourn."

What could the deputation do, save laugh themselves into good humour at the wit of this court official ?

It was on the occasion of this political visit to Flanders that Brusquet met with the Emperor, or ex-Emperor, Charles V, face to face. The old Emperor was still at the side of the King, his son, to counsel and guide him. At one of the solemn interviews at court, Charles recognized the well-known face of the fool among the French nobles composing the delegation. Charles did not dislike to exchange smart sayings with any one quick of wit; and after courteous inquiries touching the health of the fool, the ex-monarch said to him, "Brusquet, do you remember the day when the constable de Montmorency wanted to have you hanged?" "Do I remember it?" he replied to the question of Charles. " Right well do I remember it. It was the day on which your Majesty purchased those splendid rubies and carbuncles which now adorn your imperial hand." He said this in allusion to the inflamed gouty swellings which paralyzed the Emperor's fingers.

"Many thanks for your lesson, Brusquet" rejoined Charles, laughing good-humouredly. "I will take care to fence no more with a clever fellow who knows so well how to parry every thrust made at him." And the two, fool and monarch, fell to recounting to each other many a good story, in the art of doing which the sovereign was quite a match for the jester.

Say, is this thread autosaging?

Brusquet had great dread of the water, and one day, his friend the Cardinal invited him on a boating expedition. The jester promptly declined, alleging his cowardice by way of excuse. "You need not be afraid of any danger," said his Eminence, "for you will be in the protecting companionship of the Pope's best friend." "Ay, truly," replied Brusquet, "I have often heard that his Holiness has unlimited power in earth, heaven, and purgatory; but I never heard that he had much influence over the water." This is certainly wit of the very mildest sort, and we are little more edified by the trait which tells of his coveting a gold cup with a lid in precious stones, which he saw on the table of the Count of Benevento. That good-natured nobleman let him have what he coveted; but retained the movable lid which, with its sparkling gems, was exceedingly more valuable than the cup itself. " Count," said Brusquet, " we are in a cold country here in Prance, and it is hardly wise to let me carry my golden friend here home without his cap." The Count wasliberal ; he either esteemed the lid so little or the wit so much, that he bade the plaiscmt do as he would ; and Brusquet triumphantly carried off both the cup and the cover.

>>12797202
>is this thread autosaging?

Nope.

>>12797212

A better question is: Is it archived?

Oh good, it's not autosaging. However, I'm still running low on Harley Quinn pics that are good, safe for work and not TOO fetishy, not to mention stories that don't require quite a bit of backstory, or aren't impenetrable.

When Frenchmen were discussing as to the General most likely to be able to take Calais, Brusquet named a judge famous for taking bribes, and he added, "Why don't you send him to take Calais? He takes everything before him."

>>12797253

Hell if I know, I'm just saving it to my own comp.

>>12797253
I'd do it myself, but that just smacks of being too much like laughing at my own jokes.

Nearly all von Stocken's sayings and doings are attributed to various jesters of succeeding centuries. This, too, was the case with Killian, the fool of Albert of Austria. But there is one saying which is undoubtedly Killian's own. He was a strangely eccentric fellow, and someone asked him why, being so profoundly wise a personage, he should play the fool. "Ah! there it is," said Killian; "The more thoroughly I play the fool, the wiser do men account me; and there is my son, who thinks himself wise, and whom everybody knows to be a fool."

The Elector Frederick, finding his dominions threatened with invasion, was inclined to treat with the enemy, but first asked the fool what he thought of the matter. " Give me your best mantle," said Klaus, " and I will tell you." This having been done, Klaus withdrew, tore the mantle in two, and reappeared with one of the halves hanging from his shoulders. The Elector, enraged at the damage done to his best cloak, asked what was meant by such a joke. " It means," said Klaus, " that if you treat with the foe, you will soon look as ridiculous with half your dominions, as I do with half a cloak."

This was a more cumbersome sort of wit than was ex-
ercised by a contemporary fool, Peter Barenhaut, at the court of Philip, Landgrave of Baden. The latter complained of headache on the morrow of a terrible drinking-bout, and the fool said he knew a cure for it. "What is your remedy?" asked the Landgrave, "Drink again today," answered Peter. "Then I shall only suffer more tomorrow.' said the Prince. "Then," rejoined Peter, "you must drink still more." "But in what would such a remedy end?" asked the Landgrave. "Why," said Peter, " in your being a bigger fool than I am!"

Another Palatine Prince, Duke Wolfgang of Neuberg,
had a far wittier fool in "Squire Peter" as he was jokingly called. It was once remarked to the Squire, that the Duke did not so much care for him as the Elector of Cologne did for his fool. "I know that very well." said Peter; "the reason is, that my master looks after his country and subjects, and therefore has not the leisure to play with fools, as your master has."

Of his dignity, Peter had a very exalted idea, and when
a young Count once wished to bandy jokes with him, the Squire haughtily observed, " I am his Serene Higluu jester, and not the fool of every sorry Count that comes visit him ! " He spared the clergy as little as the nobility; and to a priest who once asked him if he had prepared for the coming fast, Peter replied, " Better than you, Father, for you have bought fish and eggs enough to last a family fund of good living, for a month. Now I have bought nothing at all; and so am better prepared for fasting." At the close of the fast, the same priest inquired how he had kept it. "I did away with a couple of hams," said Peter; at which the reverend gentleman looked shocked." Don't look so disgusted," rejoined the Squire. " I did away with them in this sense, I gave them, instead of money, to a neighbour who was a creditor of mine." "You are a merry fellow," said the priest; "let me now hear you say the Lord's Prayer." "I don't know it" answered the Squire. "It is wicked, it is shameful" the priest began to remark, when Peter interrupted him by observing, "Exactly; that's just the reason why I did not learn it."

Delicious Harley Quinn images.

Frederick Taubman was keeping the Saxon court in merry humour by his conceits. But Taubman, though as lowly born as Miesko, was a scholar, and was not officially a fool. He was something of a poet, something of a philosopher, was well-read, was a collegiate professor; but therewith he was poor, yet was fond of luxurious living, and therefore he was glad to take his eccentricities to court, where their exhibition was paid for in ducats, rich viands, costly wines, and endless jollification. He was the court fool in all but being officially appointed; and, with better qualifications than many, used the license common to all. On one occasion, a courtier who was shaking hands with him, remarked, " Taubman, your coarse hands are only fit for digging." Taubman squeezed the courtier's fingers, and answered, "I am already handling a clod." He once asked Cardinal Clesel, if he knew where God was not. "In hell," answered the Cardinal readily. "Nor in Borne," rejoined the wit; "or wherefore is his Vicegerent there?"

>>12797509
>>12797460
>>12797428
>Artist's rendering of Peter

Before closing the roll of German fools, I will notice one
who was in the service of Prince Maurice of Orange. He was with the Prince with his forces before Nimeguen. Maurice having some trouble to set his own troops in order, turned to his fool, who accompanied him on the expedition, and asked him whether it would not have been better that he, the jester, should command the army, and the prince turn fool. "Things would not be much improved by that," said the Dutch motley; "for you are as little able to make a jest, as I am to command an army. If we change places, the States General will dismiss both of us." Here, however, the fool did Maurice injustice, for the Prince could say some excellent things ; and his description of the martial qualities of the chief military nations of the period, is exactly in the spirit of a professional wit, more true than refined: "The German," said Maurice, " is, in war, just like a louse, which lets itself be killed without flinching. The Frenchman is like a flea, which skips here and there, and does not willingly allow himself to be taken. The Spaniard resembles the insect which can only with difficulty be dislodged from where it burrows itself; and as for the Italian, he is like the bug, which, being killed, leaves an ill smell behind him."

>>12797531
I hang out on /co/, that place is a goldmine for sexy /co/ images... although your definition of "sexy" may vary somewhat. For anyone interested, I have a lot more images of Harley, but the ones I haven't posted are mostly of her not in makeup and-or costume, which isn't what this thread is about. And then there's... other stuff.

>>12787473
not shoop'd?

>>12797330
>I'd do it myself, but that just smacks of being too much like laughing at my own jokes.

Yeah, pretty much. Namefag, I started reading a few of these copypasta stories, but they're mostly just:

King IS DUMB
Fool: "HERPDERP"
King: "???"
FOOL: "//sagely// wisdom"
Chorus: "OH YOU WISE/WITTY FOOL"

I mean... the image dump is... fine. The stories are fine. But, like, effort, bro.

Shit, I forgot my story. I'll make up for it by telling you about Bertoldo, who was pretty fucking badass for a jester.

His name was Bertoldo. He was hideously ugly, and not very clean in his person; dwarfed, and deformed. His eyebrows resembled pigs' bristles ; but his eyes beneath them, gleamed like two torches ; his hair was as red as carrots, and if you can fancy humanity caricatured to the very utmost extent, you will not, even then, be able to see with your mind's eye the never-matched hideousness of this rustic, who set all the court in a roar by entering the great hall where Alboin was presiding, and, without even uncovering, seating himself by the side of the grim husband of Bosamunda.

The Lombard King smiled sourly at his impudence,
and inquired what he was, when he was bom, and in what country.

"I am a man," said the monster; "was born the night
my mother bore me; and" (this is something of Ancient
Pistol's phrase, which, indeed, often smacked of the fool's humour or philosophy,) "the world is my native country." King and court understood, now, with whom they had to do, and they tried his wit by plying him with questions. " What is the swiftest thing on earth ?" asked one.

"Thought," was the reply of Bertoldo. To other questions he replied, that the best wine was the wine drunk in another man's house; and that the worst fire at home was to be found in an angry wife and an impudent servant.

>>12797660
I searched on Google, then on wikipedia, then on Google again, to find a book I read about on wikipedia. Graduate theses have been built on less. Besides, this is more about anyone who wants to play a jester (either as a PC or as a GM roleplaying an NPC) learning the kind of thing they'll have to do and say in order to not piss everyone off.

"Bertoldo," said the King, "could you contrive to bring
me water in a sieve without spilling any?"

" Certainly," answered the fool; "in a hard frost, I could bring you any quantity."

"For so clever a rejoinder, you shall have from me any
boon you desire."

"La, you there!" cried Bertoldo, "I shall have nothing
of the sort. You cannot give me what you do not possess. I am in eager search of happiness, of which you have not a grain; and how could you give me any?"

Alboin alluded to his kingly power and glory, which the
fool mocked mightily. He pointed to the glittering crowds of nobles who stood around his throne. "Oh yes," was the comment of Bertoldo, " they stand round your throne; so do hungry ants round a crab-apple, and with the same purpose, to devour it." And therewith he so satirized the condition of a King, that Alboin threatened to have him whipped out of court. Some rather sorry jests followed; but as they were rewarded with unaccountable peals of laughter, the Lombard lords and ladies may be supposed to have been more merry, or much wiser, than we are.

Damn. Minifig has officially taken over this thread.

The riotous fun was checked for awhile, by the entrance of two women in search of the King and his royal justice. The subject in dispute was a crystal mirror, which was claimed by both, but which had been stolen by one from the other. Alboin, being a most religious as well as gracious King, was, of course, reminded of the Judgment of Solomon, and thought he could not do better than imitate it.

He first ordered the mirror to he broken into powder, and divided equally between the rival claimants; and then he commanded it to be delivered whole to the woman who had expressed regret that so splendid a mirror should be destroyed. The entire court was in ecstasy at this rather second-hand wisdom of the King, who, with more conceit than might have been expected in such a stern personage, looked at Bertoldo and asked something tantamount to whether he was not a second Daniel come to judgment?

"Your excellent mightiness," observed the fool, "can only be said to be an ass."

>>12797842
I know, right? I only came here to lurk, after finishing my regular storytime on /co/ early! Anyway, more Bertoldo:

the King again taxed his wit by ordering him to demonstrate in what way, as he had asserted, the daylight was whiter than milk, and stimulated him to success by promising him the bastinado if he failed. Bertoldo is said to have proved his assertion by a simple process. Having access everywhere, he entered the King's bedchamber at night, and closing all the blinds, placed a pail of milk in the middle of the room. Alboin rising in the dark, overthrew the pail, and then calling lustily for daylight, Bertoldo let the same in upon him, with the remark, that if the milk had been clearer than daylight, he would have seen the former without the aid of the latter. "Whereupon Alboin rubbed his shins, shook his head, and supposed his philosophy was wrong.

>>12797921
Keep it up. This beats the hell out of the crap I was going to ramble about.

>>12795066
"Whether it was some such comment or some still worse joke that once angered the Duchess, I cannot say, but he had so offended her that she sent for him to her chamber, where she had stationed half-a-dozen of her maids, armed with sticks, and with orders to lay on the fool without mercy, as soon as he should appear. Gonella however saw, as soon as the door was opened, what was intended, and he cried out, "Ladies, my back is quite at your service; all the favour I ask is, that the one I kissed last will strike first, and that the most impudent hussey among you will lay on the heaviest." Taken by surprise, each hesitated to strike; and Gonella tripped away to the echo of the Duchess' laughter.

That his place was profitable, is pretty clear, from the fact of his betting a hundred crowns with his master, the Duke, that there were more doctors in Perrara than there were members of any other profession. "Fool," said Borso, "there are not half-a-dozen to be found in the city Director." "I will bring you a more correct list in three or four days," said Gonella; and then the jester went, with his jaws bound up, and sat at the church door, and as every one asked him what he ailed, he answered, " The tooth-ache;" whereupon each questioner prescribed an infallible remedy, and passed on, Gonella writing down his name and address, instead of the prescription. At length he appeared, still with his jaws bound up, at the table of his master, who, hearing from what he suffered, declared that there was no remedy but extraction. Immediately, the fool put the Duke's illustrious name on the list of Ferrara doctors, and reckoning them up, counted just three hundred. The great man laughed aloud, and told down his forfeited crowns with as much glee as if the joke had been worth paying for.

>>12797968
And what would that've been, may I ask?

It was at all events a more harmless jest than that which Gonella subsequently played, in return for a practical joke at the hands of the Duke. The latter, finding Gonella' s pony in the ducal stable, cut off its tail, and, as a comical revenge, the jester took the Duke's mule, and cut off its upper lip. The princely owner was moved to anger, it is said; but when the two animals were paraded before him, their mutilated condition so touched the humane prince, that he took Gonella round the neck, and laughed till he was breathless.

That neck itself was soon to suffer; and there seems like retribution in the fact. Borso lay ill, and his medical advisers pronounced his case hopeless, because they were too ignorant to cure him. His malady was a raging fever. Nature at first helped him a little, and the prince was enabled to repair to a country residence, where his fever settled into a fierce quartan; but he was not prevented from taking exercise. The whole ducal court was in sorrow because of the condition of their rough but not ungenerous master, and no one grieved more than Gonella. The latter heard that the doctors had asserted that nothing but a sudden fright would shake the malady out of the body of the prince. But then, who would dare to suddenly frighten such a terrible potentate as Borso of Ferrara? No-one but the poor fool; and he did it effectually. AVhile walking in the garden with his moody master, trying in vain to make him smile, the two came up to a deep lake, where the Duke usually took boat, and as he was about stepping in, Gonella, without a moment's hesitation, pushed the Duke into the water. Borso roared aloud for succour, screamed in his agony, and cursed the fool, who ultimately, with aid he had prepared, drew him out. Borso was carried to bed, where he fell into such a perspiration from his fright and exertion, that he got rid of his fever, and rose free from any disagreeable symptom except his wrath against the jester. The latter was condemned to exile, with a sentence of death in case of his being found upon the soil of Ferrara. Gonella went into banishment, which he bore with so much impatience, that after a few months he resolved to return, without incurring the threatened consequences.

>>12798087
where does one acquire that figure?

He thus contrived it : filling a cart with the earth of the Paduan district in which he had been sojourning, he rode boldly into Ferrara, where, upon being captured, he pertinaciously maintained, as he sat in the cart, that he was still upon the soil of Padua. Eoquelaure, the French court wit, is, erroneously, said to have copied this trick, and with better result than was encountered by Gonella. The Duke ordered him to be seized and to be beheaded. "I will only pay fright with fright," said Borso; "so, when his neck is on the block, let fall upon it, not the axe, but a drop of water; then bid my fool arise. I shall be glad to congratulate him on his and my recovery."

All was done as the Duke directed. Gonella, made sad for the first time in his life, was solemnly conveyed to the scaffold. All the usual ceremonies of the lugubrious drama were then enacted, and these over, the poor jester, with a shake and a sigh, laid down the old insignia of his office, and, blindfolded, placed his head upon the block. The executioner stepped up, and, from a phial, let fall a single drop of water on the fool's neck. Then arose a burst of laughter and a clapping of hands, and shouts to Gonella to get up and thank the Duke for the life given him. The fool did not move, and all around laughed the more at the jest which they thought he was perpetuating. Still he remained motionless; at last the headsman went up to him, and raising Gonella from the ground, discovered that he was dead.

The drop of water had had all the effect of the sharpest axe; and the spectators went home repeating to one another, "A shocking bad joke, indeed!"

Such was the end of Gonella, a man proud of his family name. It is a name not unknown to our own times, and it is borne by an individual of higher dignity than the Florentine fool. Monseigneur de Gonella is the Papal Nuncio at Brussels, and there is now wisdom in the family, as well as wit.

>>12798109
I'm pretty sure it's a one-of-a-kind custom job. As if the rear view didn't tip you off...

Ferdinand had a fool of quite another quality in the person of Ciajesius, who was a melancholy and serious fool, addicted to gloomy prophesying and solemn admonishings, rather than to quips and jests, like his fellow-professors. As he was well acquainted with Latin, the Grand Duke appointed him to the office of tutor to his young sons, that they might learn the language from him colloquially. "When he laid down his more respectable vocation, he asked permission to proceed to Padua, to take the degree of Doctor of Laws. Ferdinand refused, on the ground that the dignity would be lowered by its being conferred, by favour or otherwise, on a court fool. But Ciajesius contrived to escape to " learned Padua," where he submitted to examination, and returned to Florence triumphantly with his diploma. Ferdinand roughly reproached the authorities of the University, for making a doctor of his fool, and thereby a fool of the Grand Duke. They replied that the profession of the candidate was entirely unknown to them ; and that they did not remember any one having passed more creditably through his examination.

Ferdinand would have preferred a fool to a philosopher,
like Gian Andrea Doria of Genoa, who once being ill, and condemned to take some very disagreeable remedies, and to adopt a very unpalatable diet, summoned his jester Feo to his room, and ordered him to take the same remedies and follow the same course of diet as his ducal master." Why, master," said Feo, "you are like the condemned in the infernal regions, who want everybody to suffer just what they do themselves. I beg to be excused." "No, no, merry friend," said the Doge," you ate and drank of the best with me when I was well, and you shall even share the same fare that I have, being ill." And accordingly Feo was obliged to swallow many a detestable potion; and the mighty but nervous Doge could find delight in the torture and embarrassments to which he exposed his fool.

Patrons and jesters were, indeed, often worthy of each
other. When Dante was a fugitive, and was received at
the court of Cane della Scala, he found there a host of
jugglers, singers, and jesters, the latter of whom, especially, did not spare the almost friendless poet. "How comes it ?" asked one of him, at his lord's table, "that you, who are accounted such a wise and learned man, are such a poor devil, while I, who am but a fool, am rich, and well cared for?" "There is nothing wonderful therein," answered Dante, calmly; "when I find a patron whose sentiments are in accordance with mine, as you have found one who very much resembles you, then, like you, my merry friend, I shall be rich and well cared for too."

Okay, be honest: who'd rather I just posted Harley Quinn fanart? Although if I'M honest, that'll happen pretty soon.

Again, if we look to the fools of Cardinals in England,
we shall not find them particularly distinguished for happiness of wit. The best thing uttered by Cardinal "Wolsey's jester, Saxton, was his wish that Wolsey might become Pope. " For you see," said he, "Peter's father being a fisherman, he ordered all men to eat fish in Lent, for the sake of his father's trade ; now, your Eminence's father having been a butcher, we should hope, for a similar reason, to be ordered to eat meat all the year round." This is at least as good as anything that is told of foreign fools in the palaces of Cardinals; and I may add, that Wolsey's
fool was prophet also, if we may credit the story in which we are told, that, once, as the Cardinal was contemplating the design for a tomb intended for himself, the fool remarked, " The tomb is well enough, but your Eminence's bones will never lie in it," which proved to be true.

I so badly want a chance to use the jester class made by Trollman..

Looks very fun.

I have already mentioned Klaus Narr in a ducal household; he was subsequently jester to Ernst, Archbishop of Magdeburg. In this service, if he did nothing else, he at least gave rise to a proverbial saying. He had covered the floor of the Archbishop's room with feathers from a bed which he had ripped open. The prelate, on entering the apartment, angrily inquired who had done this ; and as, at the moment, the Archbishop's dog Lepsch, which had been in the chamber the whole time of Klaus Narr's freak, rose from his couchant position, and opened his mouth, Klaus called to him angrily, "Lepsch, boy, don't let out the secret!" The prelate laughed; and the expression became a proverb, to be applied in cases where silence was recommended.

The Bishop of Bamberg was less choice in his fool than his brother of Magdeburg. He kept a jester whose chief wit consisted in passing himself off as the brother of our
Saviour. This poor wretch prattled incessantly of incidents in the household of his supposed family, and drew laughter from his reverend master by chatting with fearful familiarity of the events of a life, death, and resurrection which no Christian can ever think of without emotions of sympathy, love, and gratitude. This sorry fool, once seeing his godly patron treating with immense demonstration of friendship a deputation of Nurembergers whom he intended to fleece, imprison, and hang, the jester exclaimed, "Ay, ay! I remember how my good brother Jesus was superbly treated when he entered Jerusalem in triumph; but those rascally Jews plundered and executed him nevertheless !" The blasphemy certainly served the purpose of putting the Nurembergers on their guard ; and the Bishop was only annoyed at it because it frustrated a cherished purpose.

One morning, the prelate's jester was seen in a field belonging to his master,sowing pebbles. "It would be more profitable," remarked a spectator, "if you could sow seed that should bring a crop of honest men." "Ah," answered the joker," that's a crop that the land of Munster is of too bad a quality toproduce."

Julius, Bishop of Wurtzburg, had as witty a fool as his
brother of Munster. This jester was very much petted ; but like spoiled favourites, he sometimes offended grievously by his impertinence, and the Bishop once ordered him to prison. While the gaoler was strewing some straw on the ground of the cell for the condemned jester to lie upon, the latter slipped out, locked the keeper in, and carried the key to the Bishop, with the remark that it was "all right." "All right?" exclaimed the prelate. "It is all wrong, since you are not in prison, sirrah, and the gaoler is." "There may be some mistake," answered the joker; "but I can hardly think so. You ordered a fool to prison, and I am sure you will find one there, if you will only look for him."

The great Conde furnishes us with another example of
this class of fools. A village schoolmaster once came to him with an address. As the speaker bowed low, on commencing his speech, Conde, quick as thought, vaulted over his back. With equal rapidity, the orator turned and continued his speech, but Conde's folly was uppermost, and laying a light hand upon the pedagogue's shoulder, over he bounded again, lightly as an equestrian in a" daring act" of the harmless arena. The baffled speaker then gave up the attempt, and left the princely fool to the enjoyment of the recollection of his folly.

Okay, I'm done with tales of fools, nothing but nothing but cheesecake from now on.

>>12798158

yea i was thinking "My goodness that's quite a fine figurine- *CAMELTOE* ಠ_ಠ "

>>12798414
I enjoyed the tales a lot and have saved them in a html

There is no such thing as enough Harley cheesecake.

>>12798489
That was more or less my reaction

>>12798490
Good. I might cave in and archive this thread myself when I'm done, if nobody else cares to.

>>12798494
Correction: There is no such thing as enough WELL-DRAWN Harley cheesecake.

By the way, did /tg/ go weird for anyone else, or do I need a new ISP?

>>12798516
How do you do it? I'll do it for you.

>>12798535
4chan spazzed out for a moment. Your internet is fine.

>>12798536
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Scroll down till you see the button "Click for request interface", it's very straightforward. It'll ask for "tags", here are a few you could use: D&D, 3.5, jester, fluff, win, story, funny, roleplay, character, discussion, epic, character

>>12798542
Figures.

Aaaaaaand I'm pretty much done. ChrowX, if you would?

Remember kids, you can find out more information on jesters at your local library!

Already set it up for archiving. Problem is, this kind of became an imagedump thread towards the end here. There's still tons of content, but that may be a problem, going off the archive rules.

Oh hang on, I found a few more on wikipedia:

Jesters could also give bad news to the King that no-one else would dare deliver. The best example of this is in 1340, when the French fleet was destroyed at the Battle of Sluys by the English. Phillippe VI's jester told him the English sailors "don't even have the guts to jump into the water like our brave French."

We need more Harley - and didn't she have twin granddaughters in that one series? Them too.

>>12798646
>"don't even have the guts to jump into the water like our brave French."

>>12798638
It's only a problem if it's JUST an image dump - we more or less have enough real content to balance it out.

Hopefully.

>>12798654
MORE STORIES, FATTY. I'LL NOT HAVE MY NIGHT RUINED BY YOUR RULES-LAWYERING.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12785312/

Archive ends at >>12798603
I was a bit too early, I suppose.

>>12798648
Dude, I admire you enthusiasm, but it's probably best to just let this thread die, so new threads about nitpicking 40K lore can emerge.

Oh, and those grandaughters you were thinking of were known as "The Dee Dee Twins". They both were voiced by that actress who played Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

>>12798684
Ten images to go. Keep it going.

>>12798660
James VI of Scotland was originally very lazy about reading things before signing them. His jester, George Buchanan (1506–82) tricked him into abdicating in favour of George for 15 days. James got the point.

Happy now?

>>12798638
We could start up an actual discussion now if that would help?

Like how loose an interpretation would there possibly be on dressing like a jester? There is the iconic sorta clown look, but would any sufficiently odd sense of dress do? I feel like some sort of face concealment(either a mask or heavy makeup) is one of the absolute requirements, though.

>>12798669
We can just do it again when I've reached image limit, which should be pretty soon, if >>12798692 is to be believed.

>>12798709
Patchwork rags seem to be the main theme - your character could have "former apprentice to seamstress" as part of their backstory... or something.

>>12798727
Nothing here seems very patchwork though. All fairly elaborate costumes..

King James also employed a jester called Archibald Armstrong. During his lifetime Armstrong was given great honours at court. He was eventually thrown out of the King's employment when he over-reached himself and insulted too many influential people. Even after his disgrace, books telling of his jests were sold in London streets. He held some influence at court still in the reign of Charles I and estates of land in Ireland. Charles later employed a jester called Jeffrey Hudson who was very popular and loyal. Jeffrey Hudson had the title of Royal Dwarf because he was short of stature. One of his jests was to be presented hidden in a giant pie from which he would leap out. Hudson fought on the Royalist side in the English Civil War.

I'm drag & dropping text from wikipedia. It's like I really went to university!

Can you just skip to the Harley Quinn nudes?

>>12798739
I know, but I'm going by pre-Reformation jesters, which would very much fit in your typical D&D setting

>>12798754
I've been sailing close to the wind as is. Also, if there's a nude on the thread, the guy in charge of sup/tg/ - great guy, won't hear a word against him - will get real scared and say "You're livin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air!"

gah, i can't seem to find that image of harley quinn in front of a bunch of eldar, as a harlequinn troupe master :D

oh well

>>12798779
Ah well. Nudes in the next thread?

I love you guys, but it's quarter past midnight. As Doctor Who once said, "Everything has its time and everything dies." I'll update this on suptg.

Night.

>>12798765
A lot of crazy shit would fit into a DnD setting. The only thing that vaguely resembles our own history is a sword is still a fine and competitive weapon.

Though, by the look of this thread, the only thing that seems required is white face paint and a hat with at least two tails.

>>12798684
This thread had a great run and deserves an archive for Minifig's effort alone.

But, Yes! Let's keep this discussion going! I intend to save this whole discussion for later.

>>12798709
There doesn't appear to be a standard, outside of a silly hat or face paint. For instance...

Historically speaking, some were a lot less dramatic than the modern day fantasy artwork interpretation. I think the idea is just to stand out from crowd and to attention grabbing as possible, which may mean wearing tights and covering yourself in bells, or wearing a patchwork or bright clashing patterns.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12785312/

>>12798825
Thanks. That's about what I assumed. The point is to be noticeable and to hide your face in some manner (I suppose so you're less identifiable as a 'person' and thus easier to laugh at?). There is certainly the modern stereotype, but stereotypes can get pretty dull.

Also, 'back in the day' I imagine it was fairly limited by resources. Colored clothing was expensive, and everything was hand made. So what stood out, and just what was reasonable to make, was a lot different. At least that's what I imagine the case would be.

Though that's neither here nor there. Fact is, modern standards need to apply to in game factors on certain things. A rather drab jester doesn't get the point across because the players themselves have a modern perspective. Kind of like how elaborately dressed adventurers also get a pass for similar reasons. Doesn't seem outlandish to us.. but back then our normal sense of style is probably very rich for those times.

Damn, I almost forgot!

http://www.mediafire.com/?i65argno8ptch

Anyway, I'm off. For real, this time.

>>12798960
I was expecting all the NSFW images of Harley you didn't post, but I am almost as happy with what I found.

>>12798893
When the rule of cool is in effect, who cares what history says?

There are certain motifs that seem common if you really want to capture that jestery feeling, checkered patterns, diamonds, and two-tone color schemes seem to be pretty universal.

Also, is this thread auto-saging yet? Should we call it a night and start another one some time later?

>>12799131
No clue, but the thread seems to be fairly dead.

Also, why is 4chan being cocks?

>>12798983
http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/Harley_quinn/1

Also, have players pick up a book of historical jests or corny jokes, and have them recite one when they want to do a perform check, or a ability check related to charisma or dexterity. Like Spider-man cracking jokes to hide the fact he insecure, or to perform Jack Sparrow like maneuvers with style and wit.

>>12798171