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    693 KB Bombardini Strikes Back MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)20:55 No.12681153  
    Well /tg/, it's storytime. And by "storytime", I mean that Mister Bombardini, the overweight, child-eating vampire has made another appearance in my local gaming group.

    The game was a nWoD Vampire adventure, set in the wondrous land of Chicago, where men are men, women are women, and renegade Nosferatu using gangs of PCP'd ghouls to rampage through town and murder things while playing ominous music on a conveniently-placed pipe organ are apparently a reoccurring plot villain.

    But I digress.

    The reason for this revival is simple; my gaming group, after hearing the saga of Mister Bombardini and his epic trolling adventures decided that he was too good a character to go sweetly into the good night. Having just finished up a long game of good ol' fashioned 2nd Edition D&D, it was decided that I could take a break from DMing for a while and let a friend of mine take over.

    He decided that, in the interests of goofing off, it would be a brilliant idea to play a completely non-serious game of Vampire. It was requested that I dust off Bombardini's character sheet, and the other players quickly followed suit, creating a number of amusing PCs.
    >> Balch 11/04/10(Thu)20:57 No.12681176
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:57 No.12681180
    First Oscar, now this?

    >>12669503 Oscar would be proud
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:58 No.12681187
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:03 No.12681231
    Now, to detail some of the players.

    The first gentleman to come up is one of our regular GMs, who tends to run interesting, challenging campaigns. For this particular game, he decided that it would be best to bring up a physical powerhouse, in the form of El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, vampire luchador. He has no inside voice. He has no concept of stealth. He only feeds on the blood of Rudos. His English is questionable, at best, and he has assumed the position of party leader through strength, insanity, and sheer force of will.

    Plus, he has the best mask, and who are we to argue?

    The next player was our resident 'obscure media nerd'. You know, kinda like what hipsters aspire to be when they grow up. His love of playing Nosferatu was great, but greater still was his love of the Baddaceli bloodline. The best way to describe his character is a sort of combination between Ray Charles and Count Orlock. He was a jolly black guy who'd been blind for a really long time, and lived in the sewers, playing music on a stolen piano. To aid him in this quest, his player brought along a cheap keyboard and would break out into songs; most often covering the Greatest Hits of Neil Sedeka in warbling, off-key glory..
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:06 No.12681260
    Damn, all we need now is a thread about Crazy Hassan and Ball of Arms Man. Get to it, /tg/.

    F5ing with passion.
    >> T.S.K. 11/04/10(Thu)21:06 No.12681264

    >El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, vampire luchador

    I can die happy now that THAT exists.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:06 No.12681269
    Mister Bombardini in a seriously non-serious WoD game?

    This better be awesome
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:13 No.12681347
    Our third player in this little game may be familiar to some. Do you recall how in the original tale of Mister Bombardini, a cute goth friend of mine convinced me into joining that group? Well, she was in on this game, as well.

    Her vampire was a basic Ventrue, spec'd for investigation work. And driving cars. Traveling by night in a riced out 2003 Subaru Forester covered in neon, spinners, and a bitchin' chrome paint job, she was the scourge of the Underworld. She also possessed a disturbing love for this vehicle, to the point of insisting that it was her true sire and was secretly a magical vampire car. She also started off the game by driving it into a warehouse and interrogating a subject by running him over, a plot point which will be covered in greater detail later.

    The final member of our joyous little crew is the youngest, and also one of the quietest. Not normally the type to goof around, he decided to recreate the character of Domon Kasshu in Vampire. This, of course, meant that he was a serious Mekhet who had managed to gain a gauntlet that would burst into flame upon the recitation of his attack name.

    The fire, of course, had a really good chance of scaring the living shit out of him, so this lead to a number of humorous situations. He was also running it as an over-the-top martial artist who referred to his sire as "Master" and would challenge people to a fight at the drop of a hat.

    As you can see, this was not a sane group, and not meant to be taken seriously. We were going in prepared for humorous situations, and our GM was more than willing to oblige, this being the decompression game from a much longer series.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:20 No.12681414
    Now, as some of you may have gathered, this was not a game where people started off as beginner characters. Mister Bombardini was presented in his latest incarnation, and all other characters were made to his power level. This did not cheapen his greatness, however, as the others soon proved to be a fine legacy of the glory that was Mister Bombardini. There were house rules in place, and it was determined that anything extra that was found to be a good idea would be allowed through GM fiat and our vast experience in making shit up.

    The game began on a relatively light and somewhat breezy evening, deep within the halls of our gaming room.

    To further set the story, I will tell you a little bit about the GM. He's a remarkably chill bro, and while occasionally awkward, he's got a knack for writing games that are entertaining and improvising ridiculous shit on the fly that somehow manages to be challenging, yet fair.

    He begins by describing our initial meeting place. The local council had called a meeting; apparently, a mysterious masked Nosferatu has been attacking other, weaker memebers of the vampire community. No one knew who he was, aside from the fact he fancied himself a bit of a supervillain Orlock and was employing a vast criminal syndicate.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:28 No.12681495
    The first to stand and cry outrage is the legendary El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, Vampire Luchador. He was also the only one to stand and be outraged, but that's just kinda how he does things.

    Giving a long, impassioned speech about the rights of vampires, Justice, the dastardly evil of masked men committing nefarious deeds, Justice, and his desire to bust heads in broken, confusingly-worded English mixed in with the occasional Spanish phrase, El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia declared himself the only one fit to lead this crusade against this most unrighteous rogue. He then described his character as "built like the proud mountain ranges of his homeland, wearing the finest suit you have ever seen, and clad in a mask emblazoned with crimson-and-golden lightning bolts", and let out a triumphant cry.

    These words moved Mister Bombardini to tears and slight hunger, so he too volunteered to take care of this menace. The two of them hit it off immediately, as their taste in suits was impeccable, and it was not long before Mister Bombardini was declared a friend of justice, despite his peculiar eating habits.

    Seeing as we were short-handed, the Mekhet and Baddaceli vampires also declared their desire to join in this most noble of quests. After a few moments of speaking about promised rewards, we sped off into the night, seeking glory and honor through our mighty quest for justice.
    >> Bi-polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 11/04/10(Thu)21:32 No.12681527
    >interrogating a subject by running him over

    I want her to have my babies.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:34 No.12681542
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    >"built like the proud mountain ranges of his homeland, wearing the finest suit you have ever seen, and clad in a mask emblazoned with crimson-and-golden lightning bolts"
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:34 No.12681550
    >MFW I see the pic I drew being used for this thread.
    >MFW I see a new Bombardini thread
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:36 No.12681568
    It was determined that we would need more information than we had, however. There were no clues that we could find, and we had no idea how to look for them. Also, one of our members was blind, and so completely useless when looking for clues.

    After a few fruitless minutes of randomly searching around, it was decided we needed to find someone with information. Our best choice was, of course, our local vampire detective and car enthusiast. Contacting her would be hard, however, and require us to shake down some toughs to figure out where the street races were that night.

    Meanwhile, our resident ricer racer was in the process of competition, using her finely-tuned-and-painted automobile, which was affectionately nicknamed Count Driveula. It was a mighty race, pulled off using drive roles and the collected plot of every single episode of Speed Racer, but it unfortunately ended in tragedy when an unknown number of thugs decided to scratch the paint job on her mighty vehicle.

    They made it away but barely, and she was in a foul mood. The next person to cross her would pay, that was for certain.

    The other group went to a local bar, known to be a hangout for all sorts of street toughs and other ne'er-do-wells associated with making things go very fast in a somewhat less-than-legal fashion.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:40 No.12681602
    my entire house is gathered around the screen
    >> Wormwood !!kJ4m1ekiW+4 11/04/10(Thu)21:42 No.12681625
    As the guy who drew the Bombardi pic for the thread starting picture, has this become a (messy) character pic for Bombardi? is this the Bombardi your group uses?

    Just want to know.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:44 No.12681639
    We entered the bar like a triumphant cloud of billowing smoke, driven on the twin winds of justice and glory. Orlock Charles, hearing the sound of a disused piano, proceed to go over to it and give us a rousing rendition of "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" in a full, rich falsetto; a fitting soundtrack to our interrogation.

    Seeing as the good Mister Bombardini and El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia were slightly conspicuous, it was decided that Domon (as he will be called) should interrogate anyone who knew anything about the street races. Normally, this could be accomplished with Domination or some other useful disciplines, but he decided that it would be best done through a combination of drinking and punchin'.

    After a few moments, he had isolated a youth who proclaimed to have knowledge of the race's current location, but demanded heavy compensation for this. He was a shifty-eyed young German lad, fresh off the boat and full of an accent so thick you could cut it with a knife.

    Fightin' words were soon exchanged, and it was not long before Domon, in his ridiculous martial arts fury, had nearly beaten the lad into unconsciousness. We had learned the location of the races, and it was time to get moving, so that we might solve this mystery before it was too late.

    We swept out of the bar the same way we entered, accompanied by the dulcet tones of "I Go Ape".
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:45 No.12681642
    >>using her finely-tuned-and-painted automobile, which was affectionately nicknamed Count Driveula

    That is the most wonderful car name ever!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:46 No.12681653
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    >late but can't sleep because fucking insomnia

    I am no longer ailing, I am on the ninth cloud. Glorious.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)21:53 No.12681723
    We were soon at the track, and found ourselves confronted by a rage-filled Korean vampire uttering curses so foul they could render even Ron Jeremy impotent at the thought of them. She was standing near her beloved vehicle, and it was easy to recognize her by the description given to us by the Council.

    It was not long before the situation was explained; we were in need of a detective, and she was the best one in the city. El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, in his infinite beauty and magnificence, gave another rousing speech that ended with him standing atop a nearby vehicle and proclaiming to the heavens that this new stable, comprised entirely of the Friends of Justice, would avenge the wrongs brought upon us by the city.

    The nearby ricers and racers were moved to tears, and with that, our adventures were off. We all piled into her vehicle and lifelong companion/sire/possible sexual aide, Count Driveula, and headed off. The vehicle was listing from the heavy weight its frame had to contain, and a few drive checks tests later, we were at the site of the last known crime, looking (and listening) for any clues that might lead us to the identity of the unknown assailant.

    A few minutes of careful searching turned up a single piece of sheet music. It was the score to Offenbach's famous Barcarole, Belle nuit, ô nuit d'amour, with the addition of a single symbol. A few quick tests later, and we had determined where this offensive document had originated from; an all-night sheet music shore located partway across the city.

    It was time for vengeance.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)22:01 No.12681819
    It was not long before we were at this tiny store. Inside, an old man was at the counter, vainly attempting to get a nearby hooker to purchase something or leave. Seeing an opportunity to speak with a man of refined tastes, Mister Bombardini interjected and began to speak with the aged proprietor.

    It was not long before the two found a meeting of the minds; it seems they were both fans of "The Baron Kinkvervankotsdorsprakingatchdern", a famous comedic opera. Of course, they disagreed as to their favorite moments, but it was not long before this jolly fat man's charm was used to wear away at his resistance.

    He happily told us that a rather rough looking young man had recently purchased a number of fine musical scores from his emporium, most of them scores arranged for pipe organ. He also confirmed the sheet as coming from his shop, although the symbol was new to him. He also gave us an address; apparently the youth had ordered a few items that hadn't come in yet, and wanted them delivered.

    Meanwhile, Orlock Charles had located a surprisingly well-tuned harpsichord in the back, and gave us a mournful dirge version of "Dinosaur Pet", which vastly entertained the party members not currently speaking with the old shopkeep.

    El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, disappointed by the current lack of action, declared that it was now time to storm onward towards justice and honor, so that his noble line of Luchador sires could rest more easily. So, once again, we entered the great Count Driveula and headed off, this time to see a man about a score we needed to settle.

    (Be right back: going out for a quick cigarette).
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:16 No.12681959

    /tg/ hears you, my son

    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/04/10(Thu)22:16 No.12681970
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:18 No.12681985
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    Mr Bombardini storytime? Awesome!
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)22:27 No.12682076
    It was not long before we had tracked down the address, a decrepit warehouse formerly used for the storage of industrial typesetting machines and other pieces of heavy equipment. The entire party sans our driver piled out of Count Driveula, prepared to bust some heads and grasp the tail of this mystery.

    Bursting into the darkened warehouse, it was not long before we found our man; a skinny youth wearing a beaten leather jacked emblazoned with the same sigil decorating the defaced piece of sheet music. He was not alone, however; a dozen or so others were clustered around a television set playing hardcore Swedish pornography, loudly chatting and lounging on various bits of furniture.

    Deciding that now was the time for action, El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia charged in and demanded to know the location of their leader. The youths were not amused by this declaration, and pulled a wide variety of weapons of the bladed, blunt, and bullet-projecting sort. After a few brief shouts, combat was joined.

    Domon exploded in a flurry of motion, dropping a pair of youths with a truly beautiful flurry of high-flying martial arts aided by his vampiric Celerity and leaving the onlookers stunned. El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, not to be outdone, immediately grabbed the largest youth he could find, and proceeded to deliver a truly righteous Moonsault.

    The youths then acted, managing to cause some damage with a few well-placed shots and swings of their weapons. There was no great danger, as they lacked the fire in their hearts required to stop these crusaders of justice, but we certainly felt that round.

    Mister Bombardini managed to drop one of them using his great strength, and Orlock Charles menaced a trio of them with his presence before killing one with an incredibly good roll on his attack.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:28 No.12682087
    Threads like this are why i love /tg/.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)22:33 No.12682145
    Combat continued for a few rounds, and it was not long before these youths realized they were completely outmatched. Their leader, realizing this, took the opportunity to flee, and those of us inside the warehouse were too wrapped up in the melee to stop him.

    Fortunately, Count Driveula and his driver were outside. Hearing the commotion, she had killed the lights and began idling the vehicle. Upon seeing the young man fleeing the scene, she realized he must have been the one to damage her vehicle. Full of rage and blasting some Motorhead, she rammed him against the side of the warehouse and rolled down the window.

    She then proceeded to begin her interrogation, demanding to know where his master was based. Upon his initial disagreement, she backed up Count Driveula and rammed him again, knocking the wind out of him and leaving a number of fresh scratches on the paint of her beloved vehicle.

    Her questions grew more and more enraged, and it was not long before the continued threat of being crushed by an insane Korean woman driving a chrome car led the youth to see the error of his ways and spill his guts. His master lived in a series of tunnels beneath a small Lutheran church about forty minutes from here, and was an evil fellow, running a massive PCP distribution lab. He knew nothing more than that, merely assuming that his cartoonish affectations of villainy and horrifying appearance were nothing more than the delusions of a madman.

    Finally realizing the damage that he had done to the fender with his offensively unbroken bones and organs, our noble driver proceeded to back off, pull to the side, and began hitting him with the door of the vehicle, all the while declaring that it was the vengeance of Count Driveula. He soon succumbed to his wounds, and she took the money he had on him to pay for repairs on her beloved sire.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)22:39 No.12682204
    Inside, we were still mopping up these punks in the name of JUSTICE. With only a few left, Domon decided it was time to remove the last of his foes with the use of his awesome gauntlet.

    "By this hand of burning fire, you shall be judged! Come, feel the heat of the inner beast! EXPLODING! FIRE! PIMP SLAP!"

    His gauntlet bursting into flame at these words, he proceeded to remove the face from the last of the men with the fight still in him. Unfortunately, he then failed to succeed on his check to not freak out, and spent the next three minutes running around in a circle, terrified of his own hand.

    We had defeated this penny-ante gang and gotten the information we'd come for. After pausing to briefly feed on the unconscious and severely wounded gang members, the glorious brigade of vampire justice, led by the mighty defender of righteousness El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, headed back outside.

    After surveying the bloody mess that was the vehicle and our currently-enraged driver, we decided it was time to split. Fortunately, driving around in a blood-soaked car is rather typical for Chicago, so after finding an all-night car wash to remove the worst of the stains, we were on our way to the lair of our foe.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:39 No.12682208
    Oh god, I cannot stop laughing.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:41 No.12682232
    Archived for Justicia!
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)22:44 No.12682278
    Unfortunately /tg/, it is incredibly late in my time zone, and I have an early class tomorrow. For the cause of justice, keep this thread bumped and visible, for I shall return on the 'morrow to give the exciting conclusion to this most glorious of tales.

    Notable features include:
    - Mister Bombardini finding a small child; hilarity ensuing!
    - The Confrontation with Duke Silvarius, Vampire Supervillain and bringer of cheesy speeches!
    - More great justice at the mighty hands of El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia!
    - A musical duel between the Duke and Orlock Charles!
    - Masked henchmen, high on PCP and wielding an arsenal of medieval weaponry entirely unsuited to the modern era!
    - And much, much more!

    I'll be up for a little while longer to answer any questions people might have, but I'll be doing a bit of cleaning while doing so.

    As always, /tg/, stay classy. Relating tales of wonder and hilarious adventures is what keeps us from developing the cancer found on other boards.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:51 No.12682358
    I..... I love you......
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/04/10(Thu)22:51 No.12682370
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)22:56 No.12682432
    Thank you. Brightening the days of /tg/ brings joy to my heart. Plus, helping /tg/ recover from the trollstorms that have been popping up as of late is the least I can do. Besides, this game was too good not to post.
    It's already been archived at http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12681153/. I think that's some sort of record.
    >> Marionette Guy !W1KIAXiDWo 11/04/10(Thu)22:57 No.12682435
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    Already archived, my good friend!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:57 No.12682436
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:03 No.12682514
    Glorious Mister Bombardini, where is it these tales of awesome happen?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:05 No.12682531
    stay classy
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:06 No.12682544
         File1288926367.jpg-(24 KB, 373x345, name.jpg)
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    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)23:16 No.12682687
    With my usual gaming group. This is being done online, as two of our group members are currently out of the country, myself included. Both of us were Skyped in, which was absolute hell to organize.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/04/10(Thu)23:19 No.12682739
    I had recently played in this game, and decided that /tg/ had been good lately, and so deserved a fun little present to counteract some of the terrible stuff I've seen pop up here.

    This was technically a one-shot, though the results of the game led our GM to suggest playing it as a longer adventure. He left things open enough that we could keep going, and our players are currently deciding whether or not they have the time and energy for it. We're all in a pretty busy stage of the year, unfortunately. My vote is currently undecided, but it will probably change after I finish some work that's been piling up.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:25 No.12682822
    This thread requires some drawfaggotry right now! Holy fuck, /tg/ has returned to glory! Oscar, Hassan, AND Bombardini in one night? Delicious!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:40 No.12683008

    now searching..
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:45 No.12683078
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)00:02 No.12683332
    I think this may be one of the better nights for /tg/ in a long time.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)00:07 No.12683399
    Bumpo por justicia.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)00:10 No.12683454
    i fuckin love mr bombardini
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)02:52 No.12685479

    >> Balch 11/05/10(Fri)04:11 No.12686214
    G'night bump!
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)05:11 No.12686657
    ... huh. Amazing. Someone else's played a vampire luchadore.

    Then again, the concept's just made for toreador-nosferatu feuds.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)06:10 No.12686902
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    >This thread
    >Oscar's thread
    >Everything good in the world

    My faith in good times has been rekindled!
    >> Marionette Guy !W1KIAXiDWo 11/05/10(Fri)07:03 No.12687075
    Late night/early morning bump.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:32 No.12687194
    britfag middle of day bump
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)07:41 No.12687225
    Bombardini Fan Number One Bump for Justice
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:15 No.12687374
    east coast breakfast bump
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:24 No.12687410
    Agreed, Oscar and Mr.Bombardini have rekindled my waning faith in /tg/

    I fucking love you guys.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:25 No.12687414

    Oh god, now I want bacon and eggs and biscuit.

    Or to take the canned biscuits, wad them together, flatten the wad out, put spaghetti sauce and cheese on it, and cook it in the oven after adding sausage so I can have a breakfast pizza.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:25 No.12687416
    Scandinavian early afternoon bumpu
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:54 No.12687559
    Scandinavian slightly later afternoon bump
    Also, scandinavian brofist
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:06 No.12687601
    Well /tg/, you have kept the faith. You have waited patiently, keeping this thread from succumbing to the endless creation of 40k threads, quest threads, and "Starting game wat do" threads. I am proud of you, and with my pride comes the conclusion to this exciting tale of adventure, violence, and blatant insanity and disregard for anything resembling a sane course of action.

    When we last left the indefatigable fellowship of justice, they were preparing to confront the most evil and dastardly vampire who had been attacking weaker vampires and destabilizing the power structure in this fair city. This could not be allowed to stand under the watch of El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, avatar of Mexican-American Vengeance. We had just gotten Count Driveula, stained with the blood and pulverized bone of the dumbest punk this side of Milwaukee, cleaned at an all-night car wash, and it was time to head to our destination.

    The car, listing from side to side due to the incredible weight presented by its passengers, made the drive to our destination with a minimum of paint damage, as our driver believed the only speeds to exist were "parked" and "approaching lightspeed". The mass of the vehicle, already lurching towards infinity thanks to Mister Bombardini's refined bulk, probably jumped to a new high judging by how well those driving checks went, and it was fifteen minutes of in-game time before we were at our destination.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:10 No.12687619
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:11 No.12687624
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    Bump for great justice.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:12 No.12687630
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:12 No.12687632

    >> Marionette Guy !W1KIAXiDWo 11/05/10(Fri)09:12 No.12687636
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    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:14 No.12687639
    The party piled out of the vehicle. We were standing in front of a large, ornate-looking Lutheran church, probably converted from an old Catholic one. It was not yet one AM, and a small service had apparently just let out. The churchgoers, no doubt used to the everyday weirdness that came along with living in Chicago, simply decided to ignore the sight of a ludicrously obese man in a dapper suit, accompanied by a furiously-cursing Korean woman, a blind guy who was attempting to juggle his cane, a small man with an oversized gauntlet on his arm, and an impressively-muscled Luchador wearing a slightly-rumpled suit.

    While we would normally take this opportunity to break into the building and begin our search, we decided it would be best to allow some time to pass. A problem had arisen, however; Mister Bombardini was hungry. Fortunately, there were a number of god-fearing, children-creating folk around, and it was not long before a suitable child was subtly lured away in the post-religious madness of a departing late-night Lutheran service.

    The party retreated to a nearby abandoned building (of the sort that developers in the World of Darkness specialize in building and take up as much as 30% of any poorly-written city), while the child was kept amused by the antics of our rotund rapscallion and his oddball friends. It was not long before he grew tired of our antics.

    Which is when El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia suggested a wrestling match.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:18 No.12687656
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    ... oh, bother. I am very concerned of what might be to come when Bombardini's dietary habits get out.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:22 No.12687674
    This idea was met with quite a bit of joy on the behalf of the child, and soon, Mister Bombardini and El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia,, the two physically-strongest members of this party, were delighting him with high-flying antics. This also served the dual purpose of allowing the rest of the party to clear out the remainder of the homeless folk in the building, replenishing their vitae for the doubtlessly-upcoming battle.

    Soon, a problem arose; a nearby police officer had head the commotion, and decided that he needed to investigate. Upon entering the building, he was confronted with the sight of a small child clapping at the sight of two men in suits, one enormous and the other enormously fat, wrestling.

    The element of surprise! We needed to stop him before he could radio for help, draw his gun, or even shout. Mister Bombardini, thinking quickly, did the only thing he could.

    Using a burst of Vitae-fueled strength, he hurled El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia directly into the police officer. Our Luchador Leader, seeing the opportunity this presented, grabbed and threw him with enough force to render him unconscious and dying.

    The child, now fearful, began to run. Unfortunately, after using the vitae to accomplish this feat, Mister Bombardini was hungry. And as we all know, nothing can get between him and children.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:25 No.12687689
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    Oh dear...
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:30 No.12687717
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    This cannot end well...
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:30 No.12687718
    A few moments of feeding later, it was determined that the nearby church was likely abandoned. It was time to head in and destroy our foe, so that we might be able to rid the city of this menace.

    It was a trivial matter to break into the building, empty as it was. After poking around for a long while, we managed to find a small trap-door hidden near the organ in the back of the church. Unfortunately, we couldn't get it open for the life of us, and assumed that we had hit a dead end and would need to go for more information.

    Then, Orlock Charles decided it was time for an organ solo. He began futzing around, and after a few moments of random, thematically-inappropriate renditions of Golden Oldies, there was a loud screech. Then, a grand swell of organ music, not being played by our resident blind vampire, came forth from some hidden speakers. After a few moments, a voice also boomed forth:

    "So, you think you can enter the lair of Duke Silvarius without a challenge? Guards, seize them!"

    Suddenly, from out of nowhere, half a dozen men, clad in ridiculously-looking robes and carrying a great number of rather sharp looking weapons of a decidedly medieval bent, sprung forth from the shadows and attacked us. We all sprung to attack.

    Except for Orlock Charles. He was on the organ, All else was moot. And he had an idea. He began playing the opening bars to 'Dueling Banjos' on the organ.

    The challenge was on.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:31 No.12687727

    Dueling Banjos.

    On organ.

    ...My day is made forever.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:36 No.12687757
    As mentioned before, the player of Orlock Charles had actually brought a little keyboard with him. Switching it to the organ setting, he began actually playing the song, and it was not long before he received his reply:

    "So, you think you can beat me in a duel of music? I'll slaughter you with music while my minions slaughter your friends!"

    During the entire combat, they kept up the pace of Dueling Banjos, rendered in a remarkably Baroque style, rolling Perform after Perform until finally, at the end of combat, the foul duke stumbled in his performance, screwing up an arpeggiated run up the keyboard and creating a horrendous discord.

    The trap door then sprung open. We knew what it meant. It was time to head downstairs and confront this bastard, along with whoever might be with him down there.

    Taking the lead, El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia vaulted down the ladder and found himself in a dimly-lit tunnel, obviously made by someone who thought that tunnels look really cool and gothic even if they're in a completely inappropriate setting. It ran off into the distance, and the rest of our group soon followed his Justice-fueled lead, eager to stop this madman and possibly eat more people when we got the chance to.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:36 No.12687758
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:38 No.12687769
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    >Dueling Banjos, rendered in a remarkably Baroque style


    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:43 No.12687799
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    >Dueling Organs
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:44 No.12687810
    The tunnels were lit by sputtering torches that, upon closer inspection, turned out to be those little lamps you could get with the fake billowing fire-cloth stuff. Obviously, the Duke wanted to create a nice atmosphere, but didn't really have the staff to keep replacing torches, so he went with the budget-conscious option.

    Then, his minions started flooding in. Clad in flowing robes, wearing a wide variety of creepy masks, and carrying yet more ancient weapons, there seemed to be an endless supply of oddly well-trained youths willing to follow this madman. In the entire time, the Duke kept up his speech, and it was not long before we had pieced together his plan.

    After years of isolation with his opera, the self-proclaimed Duke decided that he needed to control the city. To do that, he needed powerful minions, and so he ambushed a group of youths, commanding them to build him a lab of powerful human-enhancing chemicals. Confused by the old man and his rants about how the government would steal all of the blood and sell it back at ridiculous prices, they hastily agreed, and took advantage of the space beneath this Church.

    After a few months of operation, he had his minions hit his first foe, a random young Gangrel who had failed to listen to him rant about how the youth these days have no respect and can't produce a good opera with both hands. Enjoying the power, he began sending his minions out more and more often, until he hit upon his ultimate plan; kidnapping the building used for Elysium and holding it for ransom.

    All the while, we were fighting his minions, whose PCP-fueled strength nearly matched the great might of El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia. After a series of hard battles, running down tunnels and seeking the source of these annoyingly maddening rants, we arrived in a large, cave-like antechamber entirely inappropriate for the type of soil we were on.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:50 No.12687849
    Mr. Bombardi, If I can make a request may I see your character sheet? Keep it going. Its a good story, but I need to go to work. Keep the faith anons.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)09:53 No.12687864
    The room was dominated by a mighty organ, pulsating with the vast pressures it contained and glistening as though lovingly polished every day. A long series of organ puns where then made, whereupon our GM decided there were a couple more vampire minions hanging around as well, because he grew really goddamn tired of the puns.

    Seated at the console and ranting into the microphone was our foe, the dastardly Duke Silvicius, wearing a broad cloak and a gigantic winged mask. It was apparent he fancied himself some sort of supervillain, and we would be more than happy to oblige him.

    El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, seeing this man clad in a mask, had the Luchador portion of his blood begin acting up. The fires of justice burned bright within him, and he knew that it was his destiny to confront this villain. Shouting out a challenge and suffusing his body with vigor, he charged in, prepared to destroy this abomination the only way he knew how; Lucha Libre.

    Meanwhile, the rest of us were squaring off against his remaining minions. Domon, seeing the additional vampire minions the Duke had acquired through the power of PLOT, decided that it was now time to start kicking ass. Orlock Charles and Count Driveula's Daughter began facing off against the remaining minions, and so Mister Bombardini was left along against an axe-wielding vampire.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:57 No.12687886


    goddamnit, my mind went there.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)10:00 No.12687911
    Sneering at his overweight foe, the young vampire managed to get a few vicious cuts in on Mister Bombardini, who popped on some Resilience. It was his turn to strike, and a vicious, Vitae-enhanced strike made sure that his foe felt it.

    The combat continued to go back and forth, Mister Bombardini's great resilience resisting the damage, and the young punk getting more and more fearful. We're both wounded, but it's not the cakewalk he expected this to be.

    A remarkably good roll later, and he's down, vanquished beneath the feet of Mister Bombardini, who is right now severely wounded and almost out of Vitae.

    Domon, on the other hand, is having a wonderful time. Matching his speed-enhanced fists against his spear-wielding foe, he has been given a great challenge. It is not long before his foe is disarmed, and they're both reduced to fighting with fists.

    A few seconds later, the attack is called out, and his hand catches fire once again. This time, however, he makes his willpower save, and managed to set the opposing vampire on fire, all the while crying out the name of some ludicrous attack. This proves effective, and his foe is soon down.

    We all then paused, to watch El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia finish off our foe.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)10:04 No.12687924
    Why is it that I'm imagining the Duke as a nosferatu David Bowie? In a Ziggy Startust-esque getup, no less.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)10:09 No.12687948
    El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia, immortal defender of the night's justice, started off his fight with a glorious speech, declaring his foe an obvious Rudo with no respect for the honor of the ring and, as such, not fit to clean the sparkly cape that he wears when he is getting serious. His foe, the masked Duke, merely laughs at this, and the fight is joined.

    A few unarmed strikes later, and our Luchador leader is aware of why the Duke has been so successful. He is strong, stronger than he should be, and fresh. El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia is wounded, and doesn't know if he can win.

    But what sort of coward gives up in a situation like this?

    Boosting his strength as much as he could, El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia grabbed onto the evil Rudo Duke Silvanius and proceeded to grapple him. Succeeding with his mighty, justice-and-vitae fueled strength, he proceeded to suplex the evil vampire, doing a pretty decent amount of damage.

    This wasn't enough to stop our villain, and so the next four rounds turned into a series of rolling suplexes, each one wearing our foe down more and more, until his foe was nearly defeated. Then, the great El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia uttered the name of his final attack:

    Último Vampiro Rodante Suplex Sangre
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)10:16 No.12687972
    I just broke my index finger f5ing so hard.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)10:17 No.12687973
    Burning off the last of his vitae, El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia enhanced his strength to truly titanic levels and delivered the mightiest blow any of us had ever seen. Changing his grip, he began building momentum. Soon, he turned this into the mightiest blow any of us had ever seen, which completely destroyed the organ with its power and glory. Unfortunately, poor dice rolls made sure that it wasn't a ridiculous amount of damage to his non-instrument foe, but it was more than enough to ensure that this Rudo was put out of commission.

    The remaining cultists, having witnessed their leader defeated in a truly amazing display of vampiric lucha libre, started to flee. A few of them were caught so that we might replenish the great El Viento de Iluminación de Justicia's Vitae, but most of them were allowed to flee, as we were certain they would never dare to reveal their relation to this insane evening.

    Taking a few moments to heal, we began exploring the rest of the room. After smashing a few PCP labs, we located a safe in a small office. This had to be important.
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)10:21 No.12688000
    A short hunt throughout the building eventually turned up a combination, and then, it was child's play to get this safe open.

    Contained within was a large bar of crimson gold, and a small sheaf of documents. Written on them was a long plan, evidently detailing plans to completely destabilize the politics of the vampire world with the aid of special, magical, blood-infused gold.

    So it seems our foe was merely a pawn in a much large game. A game where they had just introduced a few new pieces. Pieces made of justice. It was time for us to go out and fight this conspiracy, for we knew what had to be done.

    But first, we should probably stop by an orphanage.

    And that, my friends, is the story of Mister Bombardini's reappearance. Should this become a reoccurring campaign, I shall definitely post any information of note on /tg/, all the while letting you know what is going on.

    Remember, friends; we fight for justice, vehicular homicide, and the delicious, farm-fresh taste of children.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)10:23 No.12688019
    Does Bombardini only eat children, or will he eat a baby or teenager, given the chance?
    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)10:28 No.12688053
    His preference is for children, although in dire situations, he will allow his palate to be different. Remember, he did manage to piss off a few other players in the last game by eating their revenge-fantasy targets with his superior charm and roleplaying abilities.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)10:29 No.12688062
    I figured that was just a matter of trolling and not taste. He forced himself to choke down the hipsters just to spite his comrades, I thought.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)10:58 No.12688254
    I wish I could draw, I kinda want a short comic made of Mr. Bombardini. Just a bunch of vampires languishing in a goth bar before the door explodes into splinters and Mr. Bombardini steps through, and then in big bold letters it says "FUCK THAT SHIT IT'S MR. BOMBARDINI TIME."

    The last panel is Bombardini dabbing his mouth with a napkin and enjoying a snifter of blood while surrounded by defleshed skeletons in black leather.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:19 No.12688435
    The best trips I have ever seen, ever.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)12:28 No.12688915
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)14:12 No.12689626

    *Goth-themed bar, people in black leather dancing, vampires sucking necks, the works*
    *Door explodes inward*
    *A large, hulking figure with glowing eyes stands in the doorframe*
    *Flash to the vampires, looking at the door in confusion and anger* "Pardon me, but..."
    *Close-up of a pocket-watch, face of the watch not visible* "... Does anyone have the time?"
    *Close-up of his face with a pleasant smile* "My watch appears to have run down and appears to have stopped on..."
    *Back to the watch, revealing that his face is in the place of all of the twelve points* "BOMBARDINI TIME."
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 11/05/10(Fri)14:27 No.12689762
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    >> MisterBombardini !!GwSzGBiufrD 11/05/10(Fri)14:35 No.12689836
    I wholeheartedly approve these ideas.

    Looks like the group has decided to keep playing. I managed to finish up a few projects today that really made things easier for me, so there should be new stories involving Mister Bombardini coming whenever something particularly entertaining occurs.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)14:36 No.12689851
    Uh-oh, I think baby man needs to change his diaper! AHAHAHAHHA
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)14:41 No.12689897
    That's not trips; That's a full house
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)14:41 No.12689899
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)14:43 No.12689912
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)15:12 No.12690191
    This is simply beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)15:22 No.12690281
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    And from thereon, Bombardini Time meant the death of self-fulfillment revenge fantasy games in the unforgiving face of a fat man in a tailor-made suit.

    Some call him Bombardini. Others call him reality.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)15:39 No.12690458

    Also, thank you OP for the tales of your glory. I lol'd heartily.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)15:43 No.12690507
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)16:27 No.12690979
    More people need to read this. Bump to keep spreading the gospel of Bombardini.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)16:42 No.12691129
    4:41 pm? Well, in some places, it's Bombardini time.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)16:55 No.12691279
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)16:59 No.12691317
    >and renegade Nosferatu using gangs of PCP'd ghouls to rampage through town and murder things while playing ominous music on a conveniently-placed pipe organ are apparently a reoccurring plot villain.

    I spat out my onion roll. Well done.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:27 No.12691612
    Mr. Bombardini, I hereby award you all the internets.

    All of them.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:29 No.12691651
    Even if they were made of children, it would not be enough to sate his hunger.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 11/05/10(Fri)17:50 No.12691882
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)18:08 No.12692058
    Bumping. Also: please come back, Mister Bombardini. We miss you and your delightful stories.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)18:23 No.12692205
    Mister Bombardini is not a vampire. He is a force of nature that happens to enjoy eating small children.
    >> Comrade Broseph !!2+7gWdDw/nh 11/05/10(Fri)18:23 No.12692216

    I want to draw these fine fiends fantabulous adventures but I can't find my sketchbook.

    Totally fucking turn this shit into a comic.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)19:14 No.12692716
    Bamping for this beautiful man, in the hopes he comes back and gives us the stats for Mister Bombardini.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)19:17 No.12692741
    Drawfags, get in here. If there is anything deserving of more imagery, it is this right here.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)21:10 No.12693867
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)21:33 No.12694130
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)23:07 No.12695086
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    >Check suptg for what's been happening while I've been busy
    >Find another Bombardini thread
    >Read through the thing like it's literary cocaine
    >Glance at the last time stamp
    >My face when I find the thread still alive

    Mister Bombardini, if you by chance read this before the thread dies, know this.

    You have made my day.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)01:00 No.12695988
    What are you doing here, on page 7, Mr. Bombardini? You do not belong here, in your infinite gargantuan glory. No sir, you belong in, at the very least, the top 3 pages.

    Bumping for more Bombardini.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)01:06 No.12696058
    As a man who loves his World of Darkness, I have this to say.

    Non-serious nWoD games are the best. They're great breaks, and make the more serious games that much better. Plus, you mess with the people who take their pretend vampire/wizard/werewolf games too seriously, and that's always a plus.

    Mr. Bombardini is the best thing I have ever heard of, and this game was amazing.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)01:17 No.12696175
    I love you so much Mr. Bombardini.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)01:19 No.12696199
    Ok, now I really want to have Mr. Bombardini feature in a Dudes of Legend session.
    >> Zach !!m1zNwNhpIw+ 11/06/10(Sat)01:39 No.12696430
    Imma go check out the other Bombardini threads when I get back from work later today. This one is absolutely golden.

    I applaud you for your efforts, good sir. Godpseed and Godheroine.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)02:02 No.12696645
    :( Op, never responded to my request for the character sheet. Bumping in hope he responds
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)02:05 No.12696674
    This. Goddammit, I really want him in a Dudes of Legend game.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)02:12 No.12696721
    I was just happy to see this again, bumping for all of you who did not witness the glorious rise of Mister Bombardini from the ashes of obscurity.
    >> Anonymous 11/06/10(Sat)03:54 No.12697621
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    >see someone mentioning Mister Bombardini in Oscar's thread
    >go to suptg to look for the story
    >read the glorious epic
    >return to /tg/
    >see this thread
    >my face when

    Threads like this make me love this board.

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