rolled 37 = 37

HEAVY MYTHRIL!

rolled 21 = 21

Non-Supernatural Horror

rolled 47 = 47

Genre: Heavy Metal in a classical Fantasy setting.

rolled 82 = 82

Kitchen Sink, Anything-Goes fantasy. The weirder the better.

>>12476331
We have a winner!!!

So, weird fantasy... and with two previous rolls for Heavy Mythril, that can incorporate well into this.

The sky is no limit for this thread. If we aren't hitting Gurren Lagann levels of weirdness, we're not trying hard enough.

Let's begin with the most basic element - WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE for this character?

rolled 15 = 15

>>12476354
LISTENING TO CLASSICAL MUSIC AND LAUGHING

rolled 62 = 62

>>12476354
Eating copious amounts of food and sleeping.

rolled 26 = 26

GOLD.

rolled 47 = 47

Fighting his way to becoming the most powerful barbarian pastry chef

rolled 100 = 100

There is only one thing worth anything, and that is the road.

The black tar beneath his tires. The scream of his thunder-engine. The wind in his face. The new day beyond the horizon.

rolled 92 = 92

>>12476354
Interpretive dance

>>12476463
FLAWLESS VICTORY.

A dedicated nomad across the lands of whereverthehellweare, possibly jaded, possibly cynical... or possibly just a jilted idealist.

So which proud race does this fellow hail from?

rolled 10 = 10

>>12476481
Elf.

rolled 73 = 73

>>12476481
The lost race of manly sideburned Elves

rolled 35 = 35

>>12476463
>>12476464
I am very glad at which one of these won.

>>12476481
The noble Road-Hobgoblins of Canada

rolled 25 = 25

>>12476481
His father was Ice-Man, of the frozen north. His mother was a chupacabra.

In his father's defense, he was REALLY fucking drunk.

rolled 69 = 69

>>12476481
Haha. Race. It's funny, because this'll be a road warrior type thing, probably.

ORK. WE SHALL REVIVE GORKA MORKA.

rolled 39 = 39

>>12476481
It's a robot motorbike. Built and designed to travel the road and rock out.

rolled 62 = 62

>>12476518
Blood wasn't the ONLY thing she sucked, amirite?

Genetically enhanced bikers. Like the gangs from Akira (but not the Clown guys)

rolled 11 = 11

He is a mighty Luchador. Yes, that is his race. You think that's a mask?

rolled 19 = 19

A rough and tumble dwarf auto mechanic

rolled 51 = 51

Mullet goblin

rolled 67 = 67

>>12476481
He's an anthro Alpaca with a green liberty spike mohawk.

Fucking Ettercap.

rolled 4 = 4

Well he's obviously a kobold.

rolled 10 = 10

>>12476578
Rolling for ettercap.

rolled 24 = 24

Perhaps a precocious and able-bodied gnome?

rolled 87 = 87

>>12476481
GNOME GNOME GNOME GNOME

rolled 53 = 53

>I IMPLORE THEE, GODS OF DICE - LET MINE ROLL TRUE!

Trans-kobold

>>12476481
He's a Bearodactyl.

rolled 41 = 41

>>12476592

Oh dear, this should end well.

>>12476592
Gah... must... avoid... pun... but... CAN'T!

So he's a gnomead.

What skills does this stubby little roadie use in his travels? How does he make his living?

>>12476608

Bah, roll out of e-mail field!

rolled 88 = 88

>>12476615

He whores out his disproportionately large genitals for gold, trapping many a young woman with a fetish for short men with his devilish wiles.

>>12476628

rolled 53 = 53

>>12476615
He is an accomplished auto mechanic / exotic dancer

rolled 75 = 75

>>12476615
Engineering to keep his ride going, but is extremely well spoken and quite educated in the fine arts. He makes his living hunting down the single rattlesnake who killed his father 20 years ago, but believes it to be some sort of conspiracy............................he also wears a top hat.

rolled 18 = 18

>>12476628
>88
Well... Alright then.
Maybe his gold-earning genitals have gone missing, prompting his current quest?

>>12476628
WHY CAN I NOT STOP LAUGHING

>>12476628
>88

>>12476628

OH GOD DAMMIT

>>12476628
Gnomes are hung like squirrels - THEY BECOME SEVEN TIMES THEIR NORMAL SIZE WHEN ENGORGED.

Once you go gnome, you never go back home.

Let's quantify this fella a bit more. What's his greatest asset (besides his enormous gnome-wang) and his greatest liability?

rolled 6 = 6

>>12476628
I love you /tg/. So much.

rolled 72 = 72

>>12476664
his spanish accent
his spanish accent

rolled 76 = 76

>>12476664
His tongue, if ya know what I mean, is his greatest asset.

His greatest liability is if you point out he is going bald, he is drawn to a blind rage.

rolled 11 = 11

>>12476664

His greatest asset is his complete inability to let anything phase him. It's like he views the world through rose-tinted glasses.

However, this is also something of a detriment, as he responds terribly inappropriately to depressing sights and cannot understand the idea of grief.

rolled 76 = 76

>>12476664
he is extremely strong and muscular
he is afraid of children

rolled 25 = 25

>>12476664
His greatest asset is his ability to DIPLOMACY anything into submission.
His greatest liability is that he is pursued by the debt-collectors of the mothers of his bastard children.

rolled 78 = 78

>>12476664

Due to a rather odd mutation, his knuckles are capped with sharpened bony protrusions. It certainly gives his punches a bit of sting.

Unfortunately it also gave him a bum leg.

rolled 53 = 53

>>12476664
he is a great engineer and creates his vehicles with which he rides down the road himself, yet he is heavily depressed ever since he list his great love, his machine, clarabella

>>12476664

His superior hunting skills and his Dwarven battleaxe. No, not a real axe. She's his pimp.

rolled 66 = 66

>>12476712
I fail at /tg/

>>12476664
This greatest asset is his rockin mustache, winning him various facial hair competitions and ladies.

This is also his greatest flaw because grooming and waxing it is almost like a compulsion to him and heaven forbid that someone touches it without his consent

rolled 27 = 27

>>12476664

For some as-of-yet-undiscovered reason, he is completely incapable of suffering any harm when falling from a height greater than twenty feet. Any smaller than that, however, and he will still crack his head on the ground.

Unfortunately he also happens to suffer from a rather nasty sentient tapeworm named Charles.

rolled 75 = 75

>>12476664
his strenght is enormous charisma and good persuasion
his greatest weakness is the fear of any male genital other than his own

rolled 72 = 72

>>12476675
I like this, rolling for it

rolled 90 = 90

>>12476664

His greatest asset is his peculiar ability to know just what kind of story will put someone to sleep.

His greatest liability is chronic narcolepsy.

rolled 35 = 35

The fact that he has two heads.

rolled 61 = 61

>>12476664
his greatest asset is his ability to, even though he is very short, run at extremely fast speed over long distances.
his greatest liability is his extremely overgrown nose, almost as big as his mighty wang.

>>12476741

Well we've got another winner it seems.

>>12476741

rolled 63 = 63

His greatest asset is his ability to stare down dragons.

His greatest liability is that he's racist.

rolled 53 = 53

>>12476720
I will roll for it since no number here

>>12476741

>Chronic narcolepsy

Oh good lord.

>>12476741

So he crosses the lands in his thunder engine putting people to sleep with his stories. In the middle of trying to rape the unconscious barmaids to relieve his monstrous testicles.... he falls asleep.

:/

>>12476741
Um... alright. So he's not only skilled at seduction, but at boring the snot out of people.

Now, it's been established that we've got a nomad on our hands - what is his ride? What mystical conveyance carries this gigolo through the lands of iron and fire?

rolled 72 = 72

>>12476741
This + the road setting should get interesting, I like

>>12476781
Hey, HEY. He doesn't rape anyone. They couldn't pay him if he did that.

>>12476741

So our character so far is a narcoleptic gnomish sex god who puts people to sleep with horrible stories.

rolled 69 = 69

>>12476782
he uses his wang as a pogo stick

rolled 80 = 80

>>12476782
A magical tricycle. That you pedal.

rolled 80 = 80

Motortrike

rolled 34 = 34

>>12476802
I lol'd

rolled 64 = 64

>>12476782
A motorized, self balancing unicycle built from scratch using a giant dump truck tire and a bicycle seat made of real cheetah fur

>>12476803
>>12476805

A magical pedaling motortrike?

rolled 19 = 19

>>12476805
>>12476803
To motor or not to motor, that is the question.

rolled 93 = 93

>>12476803
yet the tricicle is pulled by a lot of rabbits

>>12476816
A magical moped?

>>12476803
A... magical... tricycle.

You know what? We're going for weird. Fine. He's got a fucking mystic trike that can carry him along at highway speeds.

Let's round this fellow out a little more. What is his goal in life? Does he even have one?

rolled 60 = 60

>>12476821
Rabbits ARE a fertility symbol...

>>12476821
>>12476803
>>12476805

A magical motorized tricycle pulled by a rabbit sled team?

rolled 47 = 47

>>12476832
his goal in life is to get bigger

rolled 40 = 40

>>12476832
He is looking for his lost daughter, sold into slavery because he couldn't pay his gambling debts. That and he is a poor father

>>12476836
While a bit of a diversion, I admit at this point I would love a drawfag to doodle this up.

rolled 14 = 14

he is looking for the one woman that can truly statisfy his mighty wang with the respect that is due

rolled 40 = 40

>>12476832
To find the one that got away who is a female gnome riding a tricycle.

And to bang as many women as possible on his way to that goal.

rolled 11 = 11

He's out to recover an ancient relic of a lost time

rolled 25 = 25

>>12476832

His goal is to find a more meaningful existence than simply wandering the land in search of booze and hookers and a cure for his narcolepsy.

He wants to become the Grand High Poobah of the long-lost order of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes.

>>12476805
>>12476803
Wow trikes rolled 80s.
What are the chances?

How about this but with pedals?

rolled 12 = 12

>>12476832
He seeks the goddess of love herself, that he may bone the living daylights out of her, for the one and only truly unbeatable locker room story.

rolled 61 = 61

to retrieve his manlyhood stolen from an evil kindergarten teacher which mistook him for a kid

rolled 42 = 42

to catch them all

rolled 52 = 52

He searches to spread his nomad lifestyle of banging chicks using a trike.

rolled 64 = 64

He wants nothing more than to find the final resting place of his father, who in life was a noble engineer and warrior whose respect he was never quite able to earn. Some part of him wishes that he could be as valiant and intelligent as his dear old dad was.

The other part is pretty content with the booze and hookers.

rolled 42 = 42

>>12476832
He roams the land, endlessly searching for the best hotdog stand

rolled 44 = 44

>>12476832
wreck shit up

rolled 29 = 29

>>12476832
to find the one pant big enough to bear all his might and yet be comfortable

>>12476832
He's a shadowrunner trying to make it through the magical kingdoms, travelling from East Coast to Seattle through the broken highway system.

He's carrying a new matrix crash.

rolled 88 = 88

He wants nothing more than to conquer the entire planet and take it for his own, no matter what the odds or the cost to himself. He will do anything, do anyONE, in order to achieve this unfathomably daunting goal.

rolled 4 = 4

>>12476894

>>12476896

NOW we're cookin' with gas!

rolled 84 = 84

>>12476832
to find his long lost childhood love gerthrude which was abducted by an evil supermarket cashier

>>12476896
World conquest through sweaty snugglebunnies? WHY THE HELL NOT? His plan is unfathomably complex, and likely the by product of entirely too much beer, but it might - MIGHT - just work!

Now, what of quirks and personality? What would this fellow be like if you were drinking a beer with him?

rolled 87 = 87

>>12476917
he can't stop making bad puns, and his spanish accent is murderous

>>12476927

AMAZING

rolled 5 = 5

>>12476917
Horny. Horny all the time.

He's the kind of guy that can only talk about two things: Chicks and the Road. But damn it all, he's the charisma to pull it off.

>>12476927
THE ACCENT RETURNS TRIUMPHANT.

Now for his appearance. What does he look like at a glance? What's the first thing one would notice?

rolled 86 = 86

>>12476940
His thinning hair that shows his nearing to baldness.

He would have an annoying accent, that would be strangely understandable. Also, when he burps, it sounds like a fart.

rolled 37 = 37

>>12476940
his hairy chest is always revealed, be it trough a open jacket or because of being topless. he also always wears sunglasses and a huge sombrero

rolled 73 = 73

>>12476940

His nose looks like it has been sculpted into the spitting image of the Mona Lisa, his pompadour is legendary for being the most buoyant and intimidatingly massive in the land, his left eye is three times the size of the right, and he has mutton chops that a dwarf would kill for.

rolled 33 = 33

>>12476956
rolling for this one

>>12476949
The dice gods! They smile upon this thread!

Too much testosterone has thinned his hair, but given him AMAZINGLY MANLY features. Like Sean Connery.

Two details left to go - first, how does this fellow protect himself in the vast wild places of this world? Does he rely on adventurer-mercenaries, or does he have a way of fighting off the hunter-stranglers and tickle mimics of this land?

rolled 78 = 78

>>12476940

He looks like Terry Thomas.

rolled 53 = 53

>>12476940
He has deep dark purple hair that is slicked back with copious amounts of grease. His pencil thin mustache and pointed goatee frame his face rather nicely.

For a gnome he is rather built, his muscles almost bursting from his clothes

rolled 33 = 33

>>12476981
pure charisma.
be it bandits, wolves or rabid giant rats, he will find his way to talk himself out of it.

rolled 64 = 64

>>12476981

He wields a heinously unwieldy steam-hammer three times his height and fifty times his weight, enchanted with a Feather Charm that is activated by his touch.

He tosses it bodily at anything that dares to stand against him.

rolled 42 = 42

>>12476981
He penis fences.

rolled 34 = 34

Recto-blade

rolled 91 = 91

>>12476981
he has trained his sled rabbits to be fairly effective in combat

rolled 90 = 90

>>12476981
A mystic staff of blasting, enchanted by the great artificer Winchester himself.

rolled 68 = 68

>>12476981
Aided only with his trusty homemade slingshot, he uses hit and run tactics to take down his foes. And if that doesn't work, his powers of lulling people to sleep with his stories will aid him in his escape

rolled 34 = 34

>>12476981


Using the mystic arts of Confabulation, he imprints false memories in his adversary's minds, making them believe he is not only an old friend, but that they owe him money and/or sexual favors.

>>12477013

Oh god.

>>12477018
>>12477013
You know what? The rules say that only one gets through, but there's no reason we can't shove both in here. He's a beastmaster and marksman, armed with boomstick and killer bunnies!

Now, finally, what is the name of this Sean Connery-lookin', Maiden-screwing, World-conquering, Trike-riding, Rabbit-taming gnomish sumbitch?

rolled 58 = 58

>>12477044
moribert pogel

rolled 66 = 66

>>12477044

Coddle Billingsey

>>12477044

Bob.

rolled 58 = 58

>>12477044
Mr Big.

rolled 7 = 7

>>12477044
Octavio Rodhammer

rolled 28 = 28

>>12477044

Humphrey Bogart

rolled 78 = 78

>>12477044
antoine de lapin

rolled 23 = 23

>>12477044

Jeremiah the Incurably Loquacious

rolled 9 = 9

>>12477044
Jack

rolled 49 = 49

>>12477044

DAVE

rolled 97 = 97

>>12477044
Albrecht Ironpiston IV

rolled 91 = 91

>>12477044
Gustave Danglewanger

rolled 71 = 71

>>12477044

Gumption Taddlefoot

rolled 48 = 48

>>12477044
Little Fucker.

rolled 66 = 66

>>12477044
Hugo

rolled 13 = 13

>>12477044
Regal Mckiller

>>12477082

am I the only one who thought op's pic was snap crackle and pop (and some fourth person)

rolled 17 = 17

>>12477082
Oh god, yes.

>>12477082
And that rounds him out well enough... Albrecht Ironpiston, soon to be Lord Ironpiston, Emperor-By-His-Own-Hand. Or wang, technically.

We need some draw and/or writefags in here, STAT.

>>12477082
oh god....so manly....it hurts

>>12477082
I, for one, salute our new giant-membered gnomish overlord.

HOLY SHIT it's a short Lobo with bunnies instead of Space Dolphins.

>>12476741
>>12476628
>>12476896

All three of these are mine.

I am laughing so hard right now.

>>12477193

Were you trying to describe yourself you aberrant creature?

>>12477193

rolled 11 = 11

>>12477193
hey there

>>12476821
>>12476927
>>12477013
here

good job

This statue will forever glorify Him

DRAWFAG. NOW. THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL.

>>12477214
Been waiting for weeks to use that.

>>12476917
>sweaty snugglebunnies
>someone else read Bloom County
>there is a God

Archive this for the love of god

>>12477272
You can't go wrong with Berke's work.

>>12477279
Already Archived.

>>12477279
ARCHIVED.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12476287/

Now seriously, would someone who can draw something more than a stick figure get in here? The Emperor-To-Be needs a portrait.

>My face after reading this thread

>>12476608
obviously, THIS is Albrecht Ironpiston the Phallicly Disproportionate.

No drawfag needed.

Drawfag here. I only draw wimminz though. i will pass the link on to an area containing moar drawfags though