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  • File : 1286565899.jpg-(31 KB, 250x400, buttonless.jpg)
    31 KB Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:24 No.12374819  
    So /tg/
    You have always been good to me and so I'm giving something back.
    Brought to you by BADWRONGFUN Productions.
    Behold, the results of a stupid bet with my GM, sleep depravation, Whiskey and Wuthering Heights.
    I bring you!
    Trashy £3 romance novels based in Edwardian England...The RP...
    AKA: Silk in the Glen
    For those times when you want to GM something you'll regret forever and MAID isn't on hand.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:25 No.12374823
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    Mysteriousness (Mys): is your Int Score, basically roll against it to reveal hidden depths, like you know how to operate a steam engine. It's also your Cha score when you're being all aloof and mysterious and trying to charm people with that, amongst other rolls.
    You gain a number of ‘Mysteriousness points’ equal to your Mys score which allow you to on the fly reveal hidden twists about your character, such as ‘He knows how to drive a steam engine (Gain Skill ‘Train driver’), is on the run from the law and is really a known ‘Robin Hood’ criminal (+1 Byronism, but also hunted) or is the Heir to his ailing fathers large fortune (Gain ‘Status’ merit), the GM can choose how many points an ability costs, but it can never cost more than 3 for a natural ability, or more than 5 for a supernatural (If the GM allows them.), if the GM thinks it should cost more, he can throw in disadvantages to even out the cost, but must warn the player of these disadvantages before hand.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:26 No.12374832
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    Mysteriousness points can be earned at GM discretion, for great acts of mysterious, aloofness and being damn attractive while doing it.
    Byronism (Byr): Your roguish, rough and tumble nature, physical rolls as well as your Charisma roll when you're being all devilishly handsome and Anti-heroish.
    You also have a number of Byron points, equal to your Byronism score which allow you to avoid the consequences of your darker actions. When you are caught out in a villainous act, you may spend a number of Byron points, the witnesses must roll a contesting roll to be shocked or truly horrified by the act, or to disbelieve any excuse you make.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:27 No.12374845
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    Chivalry (Chiv): Social and Etiquette rolls; for when you want to know which spoon to use, also your Cha when you're being all charming, heroic and Lady like/Gentlemanly. You also gain a number of Chivalry points, equal to your Chivalry score, which can be spent to gain dice, when defending a cause or person you care about.

    Gentleness: Inner strength and soft strength; subtle actions and intrigue, stealth and avoiding the crowds while remaining yourself, also allows resistance rolls against Charm rolls; also your Cha score when you’re being subtle and romantic, or gentle but kind. You also gain a number of Gentleness points equal to your gentleness score, which allow you to up the pass roll of others against you.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:28 No.12374861
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    Stats use a Rock, Paper, Scissors 'Beat each other' system.
    Mysteriousness: Strong against Byronism
    Byronism: Strong against Chivalry
    Chivalry: Strong against Gentleness
    Gentleness: Strong against Mysteriousness.

    Attributes: 6 attribute points to start, no attribute can be greater than 4, all start at 1 for free.

    Type: Your type is your highest Stat (Or highest Stats if you have a tie, if you have a tie between more than 2, you must choose 2 of them to be your types.), you gain a bonus of 1 dice against any roll opposed by the Stat your type is strong against, but a 1 dice penalty against any roll that is opposed by the Stat your type is weak against. E.g. a Gentle Hero/Heroine gains a +1 against Mysterious opponents, but a -1 against the chivalrous.

    Skills: You have 15 skill points to spend, no skill can be greater than 6. Skills can be anything from ‘Duelling’ to ‘Sewing’
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:29 No.12374867
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    Preference and dislike: You must choose 1 preference and 1 dislike out of the 4 stats, you are weak to your preference and strong against your dislike; anyone attempting to use your dislike against you must roll +1 pass to succeed, anyone attempting to use your preference against you gets -1 to the number needed to pass. E.g. Mrs Edgar prefers mysterious men, but dislikes men who are too weak, anyone attempting to entice her by being aloof and mysterious gets -1 to the pass required, anyone attempting to gently charm her finds if more difficult and has a +1 to the pass required.

    Merits: You have 2 free strengths, these can be things such as ‘Status’, where you are rich, ‘Handsome’, where you are attractive and may gain bonuses to charm rolls or ‘Ex-Soldier’ where you may reroll 1 failed dice per roll in a ‘Duel’ or any relevant situation. You also gain 1 extra Merit per 2 flaws you take over 2.

    Flaws: You must take 2 flaws, these can be things such as ‘Low Status’, where you are a Stable Boy, ‘Enemy’ where you have a rival within the household, or a Phobia of some kind . A GM may decide that a flaw is large enough to be worth 2 Flaw points, for example: ‘Weak constitution’ where you must reroll 1 success per roll involving anything strenuous.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:32 No.12374893
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    Experience: In long running campaigns, the GM may decide to grant experience points for good role-playing and ability gain.
    To buy an extra attribute point costs [Number of points in that attribute]X20 XP.
    To transfer an attribute point costs 20 XP.
    To buy an extra skill point costs [Number of points in that skill]X5 (5 for 1st point)
    To trade an attribute point for [Current points in Attribute]X2 Skill points costs 10 XP.
    The total number of attribute points a character can have at any one time is 15.

    And that's it.
    The difinitive system for Dark, Brooding Mysterious heroes in lace, Women who go 'My Word!' and using purple prose like 'his pillar of sausages thrust into her mound of black pudding' to describe sex.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:36 No.12374935
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    There are...
    There are just no words to describe this Anon.
    I don't think that words exist to describe how I feel right now about this...
    Just...What the fuck? What. The. Fuck?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:38 No.12374949
    *abject horror*

    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:38 No.12374950
    >his pillar of sausages thrust into her mound of black pudding

    This? This made the whole thing.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:41 No.12374977
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    >Who's awesome ?

    You are awesome, OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:42 No.12374982
    All we need is a chart/random generator for nonsensical sex scene descriptions.
    "He gazed into her languid orbs longingly; the urge mounting within him to take her there and then, the front of his silken pants bulging with his tree like manhood.
    The Priest coughed, the guests at the wedding looked slightly arkward, as the drunken Best man stopped staring at the Bridesmaid."
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:42 No.12374984
    It's beautiful.
    Simply beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:43 No.12374993
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    >fixed dounsyn
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:43 No.12374997
    Like the technobabble generator in SerenityRPG?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:44 No.12375014
    "And then he put his thingy in my you-know-what and we did it"
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:48 No.12375051
    Are you from TVTropes?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:48 No.12375057
    He [verb] his [adjective][adjective][noun] into my [adjective][adjective][noun].
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:49 No.12375069
    You're a gentleman and a scholar, OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:50 No.12375073
    I think my mind just shut the fuck down.

    But on the other hand...
    I really want someone to run this on IRC, just so I can play a dark, brooding, mysterious man, attract all the women by accident, then troll the fuck out of them when I'm caught fucking the stable boy in the ass in a closet at a dinner party.
    >... he rests all his weight on one elbow and without looking slips a hand between them. Tries to avoid his own pistoning shaft as he further parts the soft flesh and reaches in to find the young man's own, throbbing Meatcock.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:51 No.12375089
    >He ran his majestic powerful soldier into my delicate demure fortress

    That works althogether far to well
    >> OP 10/08/10(Fri)15:52 No.12375107
    No, but I did use TVTropes as Inspiration.
    My GM has a standing policy of 'You build a system, I'll run it'
    So I decided to outdo FATAL for sheer Shinannigans.
    On the other hand, it's a well balanced system as far as I can tell, you got mysterious for smart guys and Gals, Byronic for Tanks and Villians, Chivalry for Heroic sorts and Gentlemen/women and Gentle for the Subtle and indirect.
    So Int, Phys, Cha and Dex basically.
    Can anyone think of anything to add to this fucked up insanity?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:52 No.12375109
    Mucking out his stables, eh?

    Nice show OP. This is something, that's what.
    >> the cheeseburger flies high over the night !!BklUZKzFynS 10/08/10(Fri)15:55 No.12375134
    how would we play a dastardly villain?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:56 No.12375137
    Right, we're making a generator for this. I'll use inspiration Pad Pro.
    We need 5 types of Word
    Thrusting word,
    Penis word,
    Vagina word,
    Descriptive phallic,
    Descriptive feminine.
    So he [Thrusting word] his [Descriptive Phallic] [Penis Word] into her [Descriptive feminine] [Vagina word]
    Start listing /tg/. If we get about 100 words for each, then I can add in terrible descriptions of other sex acts when I'm done with this one.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:57 No.12375147
    He thrust his phallic penis into her feminine vagina.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:58 No.12375152
    Quivering phallus
    Glistening repository
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:58 No.12375155
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    Over the top accents, mute characters, amnesiacs, angels made manifest, a period piece set in Whitechapel in the late 1880s...

    Yeah, this has potential. For lulz.
    >> Successful Repression 10/08/10(Fri)15:58 No.12375165
    Genius is happening here, but I just can't stand to look at it anymore...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)15:59 No.12375173
    High Byronism.

    >You also have a number of Byron points, equal to your Byronism score which allow you to avoid the consequences of your darker actions. When you are caught out in a villainous act, you may spend a number of Byron points, the witnesses must roll a contesting roll to be shocked or truly horrified by the act, or to disbelieve any excuse you make.

    Basically get Byronism high enough and you can shoot someone in the face while their back is turned in a Duel and everyone will be too shocked at how Anti-heroic you looked doing it to arrest you. You can rape the Scullery Maid and as long as you can blag your way out of it, people will still retain a view that you're just a little 'rough around the edges', not a total out and out bastard.
    Plus you get a bonus against Chivalric types.
    Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, or, to a lesser degree, Lord Byron himself, perfect examples.
    >> Ultramarine 10/08/10(Fri)16:01 No.12375187
    >The Blind and Bottomless Horseman
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:01 No.12375189
    Will this mean that Byronating someone will no longer be restricted to "bending them over a couch and buggering them?"
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:02 No.12375199

    A good complement to this is a two-point merit in status, where you're of high enough society and such incredible wealth that you're all-but immune to the laws of man. Or a point of status and a point of criminal affiliation, where you're both mayor AND crime boss.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:03 No.12375219
    >Thrusting word,
    >Penis word,
    King, Rook, Bishop, Knight, Steed, Engine, Carriage
    >Vagina word,
    Castle, Bay, Lagoon, Study, Chapel, Pew(s), Field(s)
    >Descriptive phallic,
    Steely, Gleaming, Shivering, Noble
    >Descriptive feminine.
    Dusky, Feminine, Unspoiled, Well-trod/visited, Floral
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:03 No.12375222
    Penetrated, ran, smashed, pierced, charged, invaded, crossed, tunnelled, burrowed, ejected, plunged, forced, galloped, hammered, drilled, sank.
    >> I like alignments !!zCDnoQ1ejCk 10/08/10(Fri)16:04 No.12375231
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    The internets are in your debt, anon.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:06 No.12375247

    "Secretly Gay" would make for an awesome flaw for this. The question is whether it would count as 2 flaws for men but only one for women? Or vice versa?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:07 No.12375268
    If I play any Fabio alignment do I get bonus checks against being hit in the face with birds?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:07 No.12375269
    How would you create a temporally displaced viking Navy SEAL in this system though?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:10 No.12375296
    Mysteriousness. Mysteriousness EVERYWHERE.
    Also, Byronism through the roof.

    >letupka banstorm
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:10 No.12375299
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    People her are making the genre worse than it is.

    Have an image of a street figher with a gigantic cock.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:11 No.12375302
    Use an ordinary viking Navy SEAL who suddenly finds himself beset with maidfolk upon his arrival and decides his fate isn't so bad, so he runs with the free sex.

    I imagine a lot of Mysteriousness and Gentleness would be useful for roleplaying purposes.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:13 No.12375315
    Please tell me someone will archive this

    I must show it to my group...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:13 No.12375318

    High mysteriousness, high Byronism, some rather interesting flaws and perks. Is he a temporally-displaced Viking seconded to the SEALs, or a temporally-displaced SEAL who RIP AND TEAR'd his way to leadership of a Viking warband?
    >> Guybrarian 10/08/10(Fri)16:13 No.12375320
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    OP, you are awesome. Simply awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:14 No.12375328
    So far possible results
    He slipped his pulsating, glowing knight into her glistening repository
    He jammed his glowing carriage into her feminine, dusky study
    He popped his glistening thunder cock into her feminine, unspoiled study
    He ,with the tenderness of a saint, entered his quivering, glowing king into her pure virginity
    He ,with the tenderness of a saint, entered his glistening, quivering thunder cock into her dusky lagoon
    He rammed his pulsating engine into her naked castle
    He slipped his phallic knight into her feminine, moist fields
    He popped his glowing steed into her glistening, bare pews
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:15 No.12375343
    i put in the request to suptg.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:16 No.12375349

    Slip flaccid into the phallic description word list, just for fun.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:16 No.12375356

    He's a viking who later became a Navy SEAL, and as bizarre as it sounds, he's actually from a romance novel: Viking Unchained.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:17 No.12375363
    We already have a possibility of a glowing penis and 'wall to wall shag carpeting' on women.
    >> Guybrarian 10/08/10(Fri)16:17 No.12375366
    So, would it possible to make modules fo this, for modern and fantsy settings? I ask only out of curiosity...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:19 No.12375376
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    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:20 No.12375388
    >shoot someone in the face while their back is turned
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:20 No.12375389

    Aha. Then I'd center his flaws around his disconnect from normal society (He still has HOLY SHIT ELECTRICITY moments and a phobia of riding in cars) and his perks around rowing, killing, affiliation with a powerful agency (US SOCOM), and killing.

    A few points of Gentleness for his hidden vulnerable side?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:21 No.12375393
    >So, would it possible to make modules fo this, for modern and fantsy settings?

    No need for it. There's all sorts of wierd shit in those novels.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:22 No.12375404

    Ricochet Shot feat.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:22 No.12375407
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    >> MagicJuggler !sMYbIFo6TI 10/08/10(Fri)16:23 No.12375416
    He's a retired SEAL who after having a triple-Fatwah placed on him flees to a third-world country in Central Asia, finds an isolated village of Vikings, and buys the caravanserai (incidentally becoming the lord of all)...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:25 No.12375441
    Modules? I mean, the system looks simple enough... fantasy, modern, sci-fi, literally all you have to do is treat Mystery appropriately for the genre as to what it allows at what difficulty, and then you just need to add a few appropriate flaws & perks. This isn't exactly a system for high adventure, so you don't need much specifics.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:29 No.12375481
    Wait, where's the character generation rules?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:29 No.12375488
    Done unless anyone can think of more ways to say 'He porked her in the Twat': Possible results include:
    He thrust his wild knight into her pure, demure, dewy lagoon
    He jammed his throbbing, randy king into her waiting, pure repository
    He hammered her with his pulsating, glistening, throbbing, halariously oversized king into her puckered, vice like, dewy, bare womanhood
    He charged his glowing, throbbing, aroused, turgid rook into her womanly, dewy, unspoiled, love juice covered love cave
    He sank his glowing, plump manhood into her dusky, peeled, dewy petals
    He slipped his pulsating, halariously oversized man root into her naked chapel
    He skewered his randy steed into her floral, exposed virginity
    He hammered her with his aroused bishop into her exposed, warm, pure, desperate study
    He rammed his randy, Iron hard, glistening, meaty carriage into her dusky, womanly, silken bay
    He thrust his glowing steed into her glistening chapel
    He gently slid his galloping, plump, meaty fuck rod into her womanly mound of Venus
    He thrust his flaccid steed into her vice like, shorn, wall to wall shag carpeted, bare chapel
    He invaded her with his turgid, virile, Iron hard dong into her waiting, feminine, vice like, naked core of femininity
    He rammed his quivering phallus into her floral, dusky, love juice covered, unspoiled lagoon
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:31 No.12375508

    "Pressed into" as a thrusting verb?

    Though, that'd require restructuring of the sentence so the feminine descriptors came first.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:32 No.12375512

    My god...
    I fucking love you /tg/, FUCKING MARRY ME!

    Captcha: Femininity efuncy

    ...Captcha is an AI, I swear.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:33 No.12375526
    >> MagicJuggler !sMYbIFo6TI 10/08/10(Fri)16:33 No.12375527
    There need to be bonuses for invoking the tropes:

    "I have you now my pretty"
    "Bathe her and bring her to me"
    "Gogo Enslavement"
    "Arab Oil Sheikh"
    "Bound and Gagged"
    "Rape is Love"

    etc. They tend to show up quite a bit...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:35 No.12375560
    We should make an optional rule where the rest of the group get to Mad-Lib your sex scene.
    How well your character performs depends entirely on how far you can get through the sentence before breaking out in a shitfit of giggles, or how erotic you can make this utter nonsense sound.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:36 No.12375562
    >wall to wall shag carpeted, bare chapel
    >wall to wall shag carpeted

    Something tells me the random generator needs some work.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:37 No.12375573

    Deadpan comedians would be Gods among men in campaigns running with this system.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:38 No.12375582
    >He's a retired SEAL who after having a triple-Fatwah placed on him flees to a third-world country in Central Asia, finds an isolated village of Vikings, and buys the caravanserai (incidentally becoming the lord of all)...

    ...The Ghost-Series is not a Bodice Ripper...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:38 No.12375586
    >"Gogo Gadget Enslavement!"

    Inspector Gadget as a romance novel villain?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:40 No.12375603
    >He thrust his flaccid steed into her vice like, shorn, wall to wall shag carpeted, bare chapel
    >his flaccid steed
    Doing it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:40 No.12375607

    Maybe it's his fetish.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:42 No.12375631
    >GM something you'll regret forever and MAID isn't on hand.

    All I've ever heard about MAID marks it at awesome casual
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:43 No.12375643
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    Here you guys go. Now it's available in handy PNG format.
    >> OP 10/08/10(Fri)16:44 No.12375647
    Well it was originally designed specifically for a game where the PCs are all servants and members of the Master family at an Psudo-Victorian Mansion, probably named something like 'Four winds mansion' or something.
    The idea was 'No plot the players don't start amongst themselves or bring in using mystery points, 95% character interaction, off you go!
    Watch them make their own intruiges, screw each other about, mess with each others heads, bring the roof down, blame dodge, plot against their own social betters and have scandelous sex in the stables on rainy nights when the woman is meant to be wed the next day.
    Why? Because it's funny.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:45 No.12375656
    >[Thrusting word]
    slammed, infiltrated, struck deep, lampooned, drove, lampooned, plowed
    >[Descriptive Phallic]
    large, massive, magnanimous, magnificent, marauding, murderous, Machiavellian, mercurial beautiful, brash, bare, sexy, supreme, stocky, certain, dastardly, delightful, delicious, enormous, erogenous, erratic, evil
    >[Penis Word]
    sword, battering ram, mace, club, beast, pillar, ramrod, rifle, barrel, cock, hammer, dragon, serpent, arrow, spear
    >[Descriptive feminine]
    murky, fetid, glistening, damp, pink, flushed, parted, blooming, mercurial, parted, dripping, waiting, loving, desperate, desirous, hungry, vacuous, loose, tight, fang-studded, feline
    >[Vagina word]
    slit, orifice, hole, onion, axe mark, pussy, kitty, cat, child depositor, bullseye, chamber, heart, soul, girlhood, womanhood
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:45 No.12375658


    Time travelling viking romance novel. I'm amazed it actually exists! I think >>12375356 got it a bit mixed up, it's about a viking who's looking for his son, winds up in the present, and then the main woman falls in love with because he looks like her dead Navy SEAL husband (and because her son looks like the viking's lost son).
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:47 No.12375675
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    Why does Google have "Time Traveling Viking Navy Seal" in its autocomplete?
    >> MagicJuggler !sMYbIFo6TI 10/08/10(Fri)16:48 No.12375681
    Go Go enslavement is where they have a very specific outfit to show someone is enslaved. An example is metal-bikini Leia.
    >> I like alignments !!zCDnoQ1ejCk 10/08/10(Fri)16:48 No.12375682

    I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:49 No.12375689

    Because those 5 words are the most memorable part of the concept of the book? Plus it's not like there are 2 books about time travelling viking Navy SEAL lookalikes.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:49 No.12375694
    There is probably more than one franchise which uses time traveling to bring together Viking and Navy Seal.
    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)16:50 No.12375697
    Mys: Amanda Quick hero, just for the random SCIENCE! and martial arts knowledge.
    Byr: Kathleen Woodwiss hero. Early Lisa Kleypas hero.
    Chiv: Julia Quinn hero.
    Gen: Later Lisa Kleypas hero.(Paired with high-Byr slut women.)

    I'd also like to point out I only like romances written during the Edwardian time period. 1700s books everyone's a slut or an asshole, Victorian era books the guy's always a lawyer and the chick's always a suffragette.

    Grabbing the one nearest to me, a telepathic daughter of an itinerant preacher goes to London looking for her slut of a sister. The sister is accused of murdering a duke's brother and she disguises herself as the sister to find her. Of course she winds up falling for the duke.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:50 No.12375701

    It can still work, it's just an outfit created by Inspector Gadget. So naturally, it's prone to comic mishaps at any time.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:52 No.12375712
    DEFINETLY done now.
    He invaded her with his halariously oversized, chocolate-dipped, nut sprinkled, virile steed into her feline, waiting, peeled, love juice covered chamber
    He forced his beautiful, sexy, wild, halariously oversized dong into her naked, demure core of femininity
    He popped his flaccid, galloping spear into her pink bullseye
    He gently slid his randy, stocky, certain knight into her dusky hole,
    He sank his enormous, dastardly, flaccid mace into her floral, womanly kitty
    He lampooned her with his wild, flaccid spear into her wall to wall shag carpeted, demure love cave
    He gently slid his aroused, erratic, phallic thunder cock into her flushed nether lips
    He struck deep into her, bringing forth a gentle moan with his beautiful carriage into her love juice covered kitty
    He infiltrated her with his brash ramrod into her blushing core of femininity
    What the fuck have I created /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:55 No.12375739
    You mean "hilariously" right?

    >What the fuck have I created /tg/?
    Something amazing, that's what.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:55 No.12375744
    That's too many phallic adjectives. Decrease the number by one.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:57 No.12375753
    Yes I did.

    It uses 1D4 adjectives a time. Those were the prime reel as it is.
    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)16:57 No.12375763
    Rape is love kind of went out with the 80s. Its still in shojo manga though.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:58 No.12375774
    >Decrease the number by one.
    >It uses 1D4 adjectives a time.
    So make it use 1d4-1
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:59 No.12375781
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)16:59 No.12375783

    Or 1d3.
    >> MagicJuggler !sMYbIFo6TI 10/08/10(Fri)17:00 No.12375789
    Oh. I didn't know if we were just sticking to modern-day stuff, or "classic" examples.


    Was written in 1919, a practical laundry list of values dissonance.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:01 No.12375796
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:01 No.12375801
    I fucking love you, /tg/. You are the best board.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:02 No.12375809
    What's the preffered upload site for this monstrosity of a generator?
    Rapidshare? Mediafire?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:03 No.12375814
    Mediafire or Megaupload. Rapidshare sucks ass unless you buy an account.
    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)17:05 No.12375838
    And I thought The Flame And The Flower was bad.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:05 No.12375839
         File1286571941.jpg-(129 KB, 424x700, romance-novel-21.jpg)
    129 KB
    May God have mercy on our souls.
    Anyone want to do the 'Do her in the ass' and various forplay options? I'm not that good with IPP.
    For those who need IPP
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:09 No.12375865
    Fuck you /tg/
    I've just read through this thread; and woken everyone in my house at 4 in the morning by laughing too hard. Now they're all pissed at me.
    Right, let's find a plot generator and archive the fuck out of this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:09 No.12375873
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:11 No.12375892

    Well if we're sticking with bodice rippers, there should be one along the lines of "He [past tense verb] her [item of clothing], revealing her [adjective] [term for breasts]".
    >> MagicJuggler !sMYbIFo6TI 10/08/10(Fri)17:13 No.12375920
    He slashed her corset, unveiling her luxurious mounds for his ravenous appetite."

    >encrusted patterns
    Clothing description chart too.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:14 No.12375929

    Plot generation? Just arrange all the main characters in a circle, and start drawing lines between them, using different colours for various relationships. So if you have 4 PCs, half a dozen major characters and a stable boy (because there's ALWAYS a stable boy), you're going to end up with plenty to work with, even if you just have one or two lines per person.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:18 No.12375970
    Campaign name.

    Plot generators

    Plot generator site, includes a LGBT plot generator, for when you just really don't have enough men in corsets.

    Obnoxious character description generator for females

    A dress generator...for...Mask balls and things.
    I don't know.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:18 No.12375971
         File1286572723.jpg-(165 KB, 598x425, bd415f6de1c38a1461ba673cc86ead(...).jpg)
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    >Searching for his little boy, 11thcentury Viking Thorfinn lands in modern times, where he stumbles upon a dead wringer for his cheating ex-wife. Single mom Lydia Denton mourns the loss of her SEAL husband. Then she meets a man who resembles him. Despite Thorfinn’s strange accusations, Lydia finds it impossible to ignore the chemistry between them. And as she gets to know this handsome Viking, she can’t help but wonder whether two souls, separated by time, have found their way back together.

    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)17:19 No.12375976
    Plot: Two of the characters hook up and have babies.

    Then the villain hooks up with the previous heroine's sister and they have babies.

    Then the villain's school buddy hooks up with the first hero's sister and they have babies, after the first hero tries to kill him in a duel.

    Meanwhile, a handyman with a thick scottish accent hooks up with the tweeny as a B plot.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:22 No.12376007
    >[past tense verb]
    raked apart

    >[item of clothing]
    front of her dress
    silk shirt

    great big

    >[term for breasts]
    mammary glands,
    milk factories
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:22 No.12376010
    Here's the infamous Wuthering Heights RPG:

    Technically it appears possible to have your character be a Gay Jewish Albino Swordsman Alcoholic.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:22 No.12376011

    I was hoping the villain would hook up with the babies at some point, but I guess that'll have to wait until next session.
    >> officer nocaps !!/dU3mz/V7tb 10/08/10(Fri)17:25 No.12376029
    yeah, you know your book is good when the blurb contains a spelling fuckup
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:26 No.12376035
    This system would probably work well for a soap opera RPG system too, bar some name changes.
    >> officer nocaps !!/dU3mz/V7tb 10/08/10(Fri)17:26 No.12376041
    ivory orbs is not a possible result, list is shit
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:27 No.12376047
    This makes me sad that my group will never be willing to play this.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:28 No.12376054
    Rage: 11+39= 50
    Dispair: 7+39= 46
    Oldness: 2+15=17
    Problem: 51: Poet, 4 hours a day
    Name: Byronic the Dude

    Hang on a fucking minute
    >Some original rules were not translated; in the French version, you'll find rules about large battles, psionic powers, vampyres, martial arts and more ...

    ...WHY THE FUCK DID THEY NOT TRANSLATE THAT! I could have played the Kung Fu, psychic Heathcliff!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:30 No.12376064
    They didn't translate it because the "French version" is a lie.
    >> Courage Wolf !penisASZp2 10/08/10(Fri)17:32 No.12376077
         File1286573547.jpg-(213 KB, 1104x1000, oh ho ho ho.jpg)
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    >my face when this thread
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:33 No.12376088
    oh shit, so what would a female's stats be? Or there aren't any in this sort of game?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:33 No.12376092


    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:34 No.12376101

    I'm guessing females aren't characters so much as they're NPCs.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:35 No.12376107

    >I'm guessing females aren't characters so much as they're props.

    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)17:37 No.12376124
    From what I recall, most book-series tend to go

    Second Brother
    Third Brother
    First Brother
    Villain from Earlier Book
    Fourth Brother
    New Generation - New Series

    Or maybe that's just Julia Quinn
    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)17:38 No.12376141
    Women are left as nebulous as possible so the reader can imagine themselves in the roll.

    Its like when you're playing a hentai game and the main character is always shadowed.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:40 No.12376167
    >I'm guessing females aren't characters so much as they're NPCs.

    This board has some serious problems with the concept of "females" and is generally at its most comfortable in spaces with only men.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:44 No.12376205
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    Dear Sirs,
    I write to convey both my astonishment at this gem of a system seemingly plucked from the fetid refuse heap of "bodice-rippers" and my gratitude for the renewed vigor reading it has given me.
    My own project, which if all goes well will be placed humbly before /tg/ in its time, has become increasingly arduous, but in beholding these rules, I was filled with a rush of enthusiasm welling up from my deepest parts. I applaud your efforts, and I eagerly anticipate our future congress.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:44 No.12376211
    This is excellent OP, /tg/ cannot see the potential. I'd have a blast parodying victorian romance novels using this.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:55 No.12376296
    I was going to make different names for them, but I thought 'eh, fuck it'
    Mysteriousness-> Aloofness
    Byronism-> Sauciness
    Chivalry-> Breeding
    Gentleness-> Ladyness

    But those names are shit, so I left them out.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)17:57 No.12376321
    This thread is a thing of beauty.
    Now all we need is to design a system for reinacting Musicals in RP form and all my dreams will be complete.
    >> I like alignments !!zCDnoQ1ejCk 10/08/10(Fri)18:01 No.12376362

    "Breeding" and "Sauciness" are good.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:04 No.12376387
    OP here, the original concept was 'all female party; attempt to get the guy', but then I expanded it to 'PC only household'; so it's definetly geared more towards playing females.
    However that doesn't mean you can't make Pillow Biter Abby, complete with it's Lord and Master, Duke M. B. Buggery; situated on Scenic Brokeback Moors, with no women around for miles and the entire staff are nubile young boys reaching the age where they start to experiment.
    Or the complete opposite with Dame Scissoring. It's not meant for that level of lewdness, more for Drama and romance with a streak of Lust, but hey, D&D never said female adventurers could fit a Whole Minotaur cock, but that didn't stop some people.
    The exact proporition of male to female is up to you/the group, the less women, the more of you will end up prision gay, or killing someone for a Ladies affection or whatever.
    Such is the amusement factor of the game sometimes.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:08 No.12376426
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    >Pillow Biter Abby, complete with it's Lord and Master, Duke M. B. Buggery; situated on Scenic Brokeback Moors

    Oh god...my mind.
    I saw that and instalty thought of...well...
    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:16 No.12376486
    >>Now all we need is to design a system for reinacting Musicals in RP form and all my dreams will be complete.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:19 No.12376503
    This thread is mind boggling.
    How can /tg/ go from 'KILL THE FUCKING ORCS! LOOKIT MAH +12 great axe! Fucking Minmax that bastard up another notch! Trolling-trolling-trolling; romance?! Screw that! The GM'd only kill her off!' one minute, to 'Ah, yes a roleplay based around Mills and Boon, books in brown style erotic romance; based in a novel of manners style setting; how jolly delightful; shall we discuss this in greater depth?'
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:23 No.12376523
    I cast UNYIELDING BUTTONS, what now, rogue?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:24 No.12376524
    because despite our "THAT GUYS", our edition wars and our trollfeeding boardwide industry, /tg/ makes shit done.
    and now, something completly different :
    gentlemen, let's create "Musicals : the RPG"!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:24 No.12376525
    /tg/ is back, bitches.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:24 No.12376526

    Because, unlike /v/, there is still some tiny spark of goodness left in /tg/ with which it may yet redeem itself.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:24 No.12376529
    It's one of those strange abilities /tg/ has, to go from 'We hate this and everything that could possibly come from it' to 'Oh dear God! I just came all over myself over this!' if something is presented in a brilliant and well made way.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:26 No.12376540
         File1286576810.jpg-(92 KB, 500x653, 0001-1285125018080.jpg)
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    haven't you heard? we're Elegan/tG/entlemen as well as fa/tg/uys.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:28 No.12376554
    Because it's different people doing it.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:30 No.12376562
    One of my friends made a system for a Brutal legend game a while ago, I'll try and get that off him; we can reforge it with a series of abilities instead of 'guitar' and 'drums', such as 'sorrowful vocals'; have combat be represented by sing offs, or singing for bonuses.
    The GM then gives circumstancial modifiers for the Players ad-libbing their own songs IRL and singing them, or for finding a relevant song which works the situation.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:34 No.12376598

    gods amongst men

    also we're all totally schizo
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:44 No.12376662
    I have never seen /tg/ do that first thing.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:45 No.12376673
    Reading through this thread, I am slightly disturbed by how some elegan/tg/ents here seem to be familiar with the tropes and authors of this particular genre.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:46 No.12376679
    I was surprised at it, but not disturbed.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:46 No.12376682
    has this thread been archived?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:47 No.12376689
    eh, CLASSICAL romance isn't bad but most of the shit you see lonely middle-age women buying is awful.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:48 No.12376698
    And I assume you speak form experience? No, stay on our side of the room, thank you.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:49 No.12376703
    It's about as awful as generic fantasy, frankly. Just a different set of tropes.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:51 No.12376709

    Awesome! Source?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:51 No.12376711
    Well I am awfully familiar with generic fantasy. As a lad I'm afraid I sprained my brain reading crappy Ed Greenwood's Elminster (and other) novels.
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)18:53 No.12376721
         File1286578424.gif-(10 KB, 300x300, tg.gif)
    10 KB
    OK, drawfag and GM reporting. I'm volunteering to (a) run this game on irc and (b) drawfag in Kate Beaton parody style. Requests?

    >frowing time
    srsly captcha is sentinent.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:54 No.12376726
    >get Byronism high enough and you can shoot someone in the face while their back is turned
    >shoot someone in the face while their back is turned

    Byronism makes physics its little bitch.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:55 No.12376735
    I've never read any romance novels, but I suspect they're kinda like Clive Cussler's stuff, with ACTION! and DIVING! replaced by KISSING! and FLOWERY NARRATION! while retaining the template plots of Cussler's stuff.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)18:56 No.12376741
    Well let's start with Elminster putting on... taking off his robe and wizard had and putting moves on Mystra or Simbul or whoever.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:00 No.12376763
         File1286578847.png-(159 KB, 800x671, robinhoodfinal.png)
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    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:03 No.12376784
    I am, at the same time, thoroughly ashamed and incredibly honoured to be part of this thread.
    It's...special, in every sense of the word.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:04 No.12376792

    >totally schizo

    This this this.

    In the middle of a quest thread where we were about to free our three slaves and have them come adventuring with us, because we were determined to be the ultimate bro. We turned around and decided to not only not free, but sadistically rape them just because I reminded them they were slaves because they'd committed crimes in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:05 No.12376797
    OP here; run it!
    It's not been play tested yet, so why not. Let's crack out some dice and break out the frilly shirts and wigs.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:08 No.12376824
    I'm not sure why you draw on Mills and Boon so much when it seems like that source of this material is Gothic Romance. But hey, whatever works.

    STAT BYRON: Byonism: MAX. Mysteriousness: MAX. Chivalry: MIN. Gentleness: MIN. BYRON IS A MIN-MAXER.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:08 No.12376827

    Is it actually a lie? Because otherwise someone point me at a working link as I might as well put 12 years of French Immersion to some decent use.
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)19:08 No.12376828
         File1286579301.gif-(10 KB, 357x338, tg.gif)
    10 KB

    I have to conflicting images of Elminster, one of a mean looking 3e style wizard and other of a gandalfesque mage with red robes.

    (I know shit about FR btw)
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:12 No.12376866
         File1286579555.jpg-(108 KB, 646x1305, Computer Reaction.jpg)
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    Well, I'm in awe.

    This even beats Wal*Mart Apocalypse for best role playing system I've seen on /tg/.

    Golf clap.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:12 No.12376868

    Looks like it's not, but I can't find the core rules anywhere. Mainly because I don't know how to search for that shit in French.

    All that comes up when I google the name is a bunch of expansions people came up with.
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)19:14 No.12376884
         File1286579644.gif-(11 KB, 357x338, tg.gif)
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    OK, the room is #SilkInTheGlen in the suptg irc
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:16 No.12376906
    Can't connect for some reason. Save logs.
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)19:31 No.12377030
    I'm killing time making a handy table btw:
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:34 No.12377059
         File1286580851.png-(57 KB, 348x1796, 1274011796296.png)
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    ITT: Pic Related.
    "His steaming, vapid nipples..."
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:38 No.12377100
    More like:
    ITT: We discover /tg/ has a huge hard-on for mad homebrew ideas, Byronic heroes and anything involving Lacey clothing.
    "I demand satisfaction!"
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:51 No.12377192
    Thank you /tg/ for reminding me why I come here every day.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:54 No.12377220
    Guess who's back?
    Back again.
    /tg/'s back.
    Tell a friend.
    Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)19:56 No.12377234
    OP comes in with a mad idea.
    /tg/ welcomes it with open arms and makes OC.
    A game is forged.
    Stay Classy /tg/
    Stay Classy.
    Maybe we could build some settings for it?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:01 No.12377277
    The OP came with OC, bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:01 No.12377282
    This is why I love /tg/
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:02 No.12377289
         File1286582534.jpg-(33 KB, 184x184, 1271285333846.jpg)
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    >this fucking thread

    I love you, /tg/. Never change.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:03 No.12377307
    I think he means the generator as well.

    Also, OP is in the IRC channel!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:08 No.12377351
    I am gay for you /tg/, I really am.

    I don't think this should be restricted to bodice-ripping period pieces though. There's plenty of trashy romance novels set in the modern day with dashing doctors and vulnerable ex-soldiers or mysterious teachers or whatever.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:08 No.12377358
    -Victorian Mansion (Obviously)
    -Medeival Castle for a Gothic setting. Throw in a Vampire for fun.
    -A London Street
    -Any closed space really where the PCs are forced to interact with each other instead of wandering off.

    Moors are a definet though, whever you end up, you need a Moor.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:10 No.12377373
    A Police man, protecting a marked woman from a dangerous Stalker.
    But when he lets her get too close, what will he choose when given the choice between the woman he loves, and his duty...

    I like it.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:12 No.12377386
    Proof that sleep deprivation, gambling and drinking heavily are good for society as a whole!
    Or at least creativity.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:12 No.12377387
    A filthy Saracen? "The barbary ram is tupping my milk white ewe"?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:13 No.12377402
         File1286583205.jpg-(18 KB, 640x480, Dsc00159_Rannach_Moor_B.jpg)
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    Wrong type of Moor you're thinking of.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:16 No.12377422
    Moors! Moors on the moors! Moor your boat here to avoid the moor-moored Moors!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:20 No.12377463
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:29 No.12377534
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    If this image is ever seen again outside of this thread.
    It will be a fucking act of Byron.
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)20:30 No.12377545
    have fun, suggest more wacky terms.

    btw the irc room needs players, no one intersted?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:32 No.12377555
    Oh Lord.
    Anon, you Card.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:33 No.12377565
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:33 No.12377568
    >He penetrated her with his throbbing, erogenous dragon into her exposed pews.

    This sounds like a book I read once...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:38 No.12377595
    >He popped his virile, virile, Iron hard buggering stick into her fang-studded, fetid, blushing core of femininity.

    -7 Byronism
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:39 No.12377596
    >He rammed his glistening man root into her feline chestnut patch of pleasure.
    Fucking furries.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:40 No.12377601
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    So is Flashman focussed on being Gentle (because he's a sneaky, lying cunt) or Byronesque (because he's a gigantic dick and it doesn't stop everyone thinking he's awesome)?

    At least we know Chivalry's his dump-stat.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:42 No.12377619
    >He forced his chocolate-dipped, nut sprinkled club into her love juice covered honey pot.

    hahaha oh wow.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:42 No.12377626
    Flashman is strong Byronism, good Mysteriousness, decent Gentleness, terrible Chivalry.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:45 No.12377647
    byronesque I say
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:46 No.12377653
    >He plunged his magnificent phallus into her tight orifice.
    This sounds realistic. God dammit.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:48 No.12377669
    Take your purple prose. Post it.
    Then, put it into Google and see what happens.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)20:51 No.12377696
    >baxtrics: The Rancher's Wife
    31 Aug 2010 ... She moved over to the cucumber patch and pulled three big ones for ...... pleasure from her mouth on his gigantic shaft sunk into her mouth, that ... silk, the waving chestnut hair soft as satin. He guided her face and ... out again and appear, glistening from the wetness of her saliva and his ...

    >LLP-274 Caesar's Revenge Book Two by Jon Reskind
    of flames at the thin, wetly glistening opening he knew to be the mating slit of ..... pleasure he had and was bringing her. She felt his powerful body responding to ..... her hands shoved deeply into the patch-pockets of her red robe. ..... He rammed the gears into reverse, then turned to gape at inch-distance ...

    >The Horse Meadow
    15 posts - 3 authors - Last post: 24 May 2006
    The girl yawned contently as Bob led her outside and into the afternoon sunshine. .... The black organs were glistening with sweat, and the stallion's scent was .... He moved his gaze from the chestnut's angry face, to the beast's .... and erotic feeling of horse cock being rammed up his colon. He ...

    My God. It's full of sluts.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:02 No.12377850


    how do i join an irc room
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:05 No.12377886

    type /join #silkintheglen
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:11 No.12377946
    Elminster doesn't even have a hat.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:13 No.12377965
    Here's a hint: it's not on his head.
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)21:14 No.12377979
    wikipedia is trolling me, I guess:
    >> Slants 10/08/10(Fri)21:26 No.12378102
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    Byronic bump.

    If you want to play: >>12376884
    we need players plox
    >> Regault 10/08/10(Fri)21:35 No.12378227
    Any romance novel that takes place after 1859 is shit. Any romance novel that takes place before 1804 and doesn't involve pirates, vikings, or scotsmen is shit.

    Just look at Jayne Ann Krentz. Her books written as Amanda Quick(Historicals with a strange touch of James Bond) are good. Her books written as herself are crystal moon powers bullshit.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid !!9x1vEuGv9ER 10/08/10(Fri)21:37 No.12378253
    Now we have to run Duskwood Hearts in this system.

    Oh God, that would be both horribly amazing and amazingly horrible.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:38 No.12378267
    Shall we get shit done, /tg/?
    I think we can get some archetypes at least
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:41 No.12378302
    If this thread has not been archived, why hasn't it been archived?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:45 No.12378348
    I like this idea -

    Woman comes home from military service, emotionally scarred, and a kindly and gentle man and his kindly and gentle dog help her realize it's safe to love again... the normal way, though. The dog doesn't get any.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:50 No.12378406
    Or Blue Rose. All your bishie husbandos? THEY MAXED OUT BYRONISM.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:51 No.12378422
    Gadget Hackwrench as a romance-novel villain.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:51 No.12378425
    inb4 love can bloom
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:52 No.12378427
    Fuckin' dog, man.

    >lengthened reneeth
    Oh, Captcha . . .
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:52 No.12378430
    >military service
    I hope that guy likes sloppy eighty-fourths.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)21:54 No.12378458
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:02 No.12379136
    Bamp that others might witness the horrible beauty.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:18 No.12379283
    >He gently slid his galloping seed into her blushing, love juice covered, dewy undiscovered country. The rest of the dominoes fell like a house of cards. Checkmate.

    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:22 No.12379310
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    In the game of checkers, you must never let your opponent see your pieces.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:25 No.12379353
    It's all about how the characters approach the sex, not about how much actual experience having sex they've had. A shell-shocked soldier who endured a lot of rough living might be the perfect person to appreciate a soft touch, whereas it's the bitchy character with the sense of entitlement who might be more able to appreciate a really rough session of fucking, the kind that leaves you bruised and sore (and determined to continue as soon as you can catch your breath).

    > Agent nobblaf

    Someone with a laughing (k)nob is an agent, now?
    >> G. D. !!k1u7swmD0lH 10/08/10(Fri)23:26 No.12379365
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    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:30 No.12379415
    Somebody post this shit on RPG.net.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:39 No.12379465
    >He hammered her with his turgid, terrifing, marauding rifle into her divested, non-euclidean bay.

    Tekiliki-li! Tekiliki-li!

    >Having flubmid

    You said it, captcha.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:40 No.12379477
    This shit is bonkers, yo!

    SERIOUSLY guys!

    I love you, /tg/.

    >shecon you
    Wait, she do? Fuck.
    >> HankPym !!A0/lWspso1i 10/08/10(Fri)23:44 No.12379501
    >He horrified pulsating, dastardly, erogenous serpent into her bare, non-euclidean repository.
    ...So it is some kind of Lovecraftian romance novel?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:46 No.12379521
    Well considering that Lovecraft's general writing skills where about on the level of bodice rippers...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/10(Fri)23:47 No.12379525
    >He slipped his sad, sexy sword into her unspoiled, desirous, moist cat.

    A cat is fine, too.
    >> HankPym !!A0/lWspso1i 10/08/10(Fri)23:49 No.12379553
    >He slammed his meaty, massive engine into her loving, parted, feminine fields.
    Sexy, AND addresses the social issue of the rise of industry and its negative effects on the agricultural sphere.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid !!9x1vEuGv9ER 10/09/10(Sat)00:12 No.12379746
    He put his chocolate in her peanut butter.

    She put her peanut butter in his chocolate.
    >> Slants !rYqHGMt8io 10/09/10(Sat)00:19 No.12379801
    We are about to start a game, come and join to watch the debauchery and decadence.
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)00:35 No.12379937
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    byronic lovelace bump
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid !!9x1vEuGv9ER 10/09/10(Sat)00:38 No.12379964
    >He chiseled his pleasure-horn into her wet stuff, shooping all of her woops and undulating clockwise with the passion of a thousand hateful SMB3 suns.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)01:19 No.12380245
    Agent Noblaf is a special agent, with the mission to break into your room while you masturbate, and laugh at your nob.
    >> Regault 10/09/10(Sat)01:44 No.12380425
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    I think this actually beats any of the fake lines anyone's made in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)01:47 No.12380450
    . . .

    . . .

    Jesus. I very much resent having my funbox likened to a horse's mouth.
    >> Regault 10/09/10(Sat)01:48 No.12380461
    Is it more like a weeping furnace?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)01:49 No.12380471
    That's slightly less disgusting than a horse's mouth.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid !!9x1vEuGv9ER 10/09/10(Sat)01:55 No.12380510

    Hatchet-wound, then?
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)01:56 No.12380516
    >He , with the tenderness of a saint, entered his wicked, plump, chocolate-dipped, nut sprinkled fuck rod into her warm horse mouth.
    Not anymore
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)01:57 No.12380521
    This is the best thing. I think I'm going to run this if my GM doesn't show up for Dark Heresy tomorrow night (or tonight, rather). I hope he does, though, next session is going to be great.

    Also, I vote that anything that comes out of /tg/ from now on must be called BADWRONGFUN Productions, if the game author doesn't want to be named.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)02:01 No.12380561
    That's not even bad. It's an emotional thingamajigger, that represents that the dude is compassionate and shit.
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)02:10 No.12380648
    Give me your mail and I'll send you the logs of the session we are playing atm
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)02:12 No.12380659
    Now, now. You should never look a gift horse in the mouth, you know.
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)02:45 No.12380948
    >posting bits from ongoing game:

    >Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman charged through the crowd, knocking over servant and noble alike, and leapt into the longboat waiting at the end of the courtyard. Why did he look so hurt? Why did he thrash about so? How the fuck did he sail a longboat on land?
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)02:48 No.12380977
    (0:53:05) ***Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman spies the villainous Rockbone out of the corner of his eye and glares through the slits of his helmet at him. A fire kindled in his savage breast. A fire that burned for the crimson life-blood of his enemy! He turned, snatching the axe that had slain so many a troll from his belt, and slashes brutally at the rope as it flies toward him, promising castration!
    (0:54:16) Slants|GM: Bilice, impotent to do something, catches the phallic symbol of his disgraces with his magnificent rope
    (0:54:35) Slants|GM: Beefgnaw, has lost his axe, feeling emasculated in front of everyone.
    (0:55:21) ***Rockbone_Bilicie yanks the rope back toward himself, picking up the axe as he dragged it to his feet
    (0:55:49) Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman: "You troll-shaving DEVIL. THAT WAS MY FATHER'S AXE!" he cries as he sails off. Revenge is plotted, but will be enacted another day.
    (0:56:46) Rockbone_Bilicie: Axe in hand, Bilicie grinds his teeth together, furious at his failure.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)02:49 No.12380979
    I once found some British porno mags a while back, Aside from some fairly unattractive women in them, they had some really unerotic and somewhat depressing stories where the guys A) cheated on their wives and B) referred to vaginae as a "slash."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)02:50 No.12380991
    Holy Christ, that is all kinds of awesome.
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)02:51 No.12380997
    (1:29:29) Rockbone_Bilicie: As the large head of the blade approached Perrywether's unprotected, vulnerable back, Bilicie suddenly fell into a sort of daze
    (1:29:50) Rockbone_Bilicie: He imagined the axe haft as his own member, suddenly magnificent and great
    (1:30:21) Rockbone_Bilicie: Delerious with joy, he thrust forward, toward flesh that was ripe for the cleaving.
    (1:31:30) Slants|GM: He skewered his mercurial, glowing , throbbing bishop into her pink, pure, fang-studded chestnutwound of pleasure.
    (1:31:35) Slants|GM: *into his
    (1:32:38) Rockbone_Bilicie: Falling into the trance of his vision, he let the axe slip from his hands and clatter to the floor. Rockbone himself collapsed, blind to the world, as he rubbed furiously at his groin, groaning and writhing in pain and extacy
    (1:32:44) Rockbone_Bilicie: *ecstacy
    (1:37:51) ***MarcusPerrywether pointed at the man who had slighted him earlier. "You there
    (1:38:05) MarcusPerrywether: come quickly! My compatriot needs assistance.".
    (1:38:26) Slants|GM: A woman, just new to her forties approach Bilice
    (1:38:37) Slants|GM: "Young man, are you okay, you seem to be having a seizure"
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)02:53 No.12381019
    (1:39:05) Slants|GM: The woman, past his few wrinkles, is well endowed and curvy, like a Rubens painting
    (1:42:14) Rockbone_Bilicie: Rockbone gave no response beyond an impassioned scream, as he began to grind his hand harder against his semi-errect phallus
    (1:42:38) Slants|GM: "We need a doctor here!" Said the woman
    (1:42:58) Rockbone_Bilicie: As he pressed his hand harder against himself, he began to feel a sharp pain from his repositories of seed
    (1:43:19) Rockbone_Bilicie: The pain only made him scream louder and rub harder, bringing himself almost to a limp, sticky climax
    (1:47:02) Rockbone_Bilicie: Sobbing in frustration, Bilicie slowed his hand, then went limp, as darkness closed around him.
    (1:47:09) Slants|GM: He sank his iron hard, Machiavellian, magnificent balls into his womanly, loose pants.
    (1:47:13) Rockbone_Bilicie: For the first time in years, his phallus reached proper firmness
    (1:47:28) Slants|GM: The sudden blood flow made Bilice pass out
    (1:48:15) ***MarcusPerrywether , once focused on calling out the man who had bested him with his scathing words, Marcus now stepped several steps back from the masturbatory gentleman.
    (1:48:17) Rockbone_Bilicie: As he lay unmoving, the rush of blood from his head erased his memory of the entire evening, leaving him floating in peaceful bliss
    >> Benign Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)02:59 No.12381067
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    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)03:05 No.12381122
    (1:16:45) Slants|GM: The countess, climbed on the flying longboat and the first thing she did was pulling Beefgnaw ear, like a small child "This is all your fault, you brute. You shall be held responsible." Lady Tyler step in the middle of the fight: "gentlemen, please.... take this fight to other place, you are disturbing my guests and disgracing ME as your host."
    Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman grunts as his ear is yanked and shoves the rudder toward the deck, driving the prow into the dirt and landing the amazing craft. "Very well," he growls, standing. He walks to the rail after briskly shaking off the countess' hand and puts a roughened hand on the worn oak of the rail. "My lady. I apologize for my savagery. My blood was up. I could not hold back."
    Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman glances once at the Contessa, giving her a long, searching look before allowing his eyes to soften and his brow to unknit. He apologized to her with a downward look, then grabbed a rope tied to the mast and swung down to the courtyard.
    (1:22:12) Slants|GM: Lady Lovelace puts her hand on Beefgnaw's cheek.
    (1:22:55) Slants|GM: "You are a gentle person, after all. But you should have some manners, sir!" - she said with a feigned tone of dignity
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)03:05 No.12381125
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    >However that doesn't mean you can't make Pillow Biter Abby, complete with it's Lord and Master, Duke M. B. Buggery; situated on Scenic Brokeback Moors, with no women around for miles and the entire staff are nubile young boys reaching the age where they start to experiment.

    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)03:06 No.12381134
    (1:23:59) ***Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman pauses in his swinging to turn his bearded cheek into her hand. "I... am sorry. Manners are not prized where... /when/ I am from. Strength is. But..." He closes his eyes and lets the cool warmth of her hand soak into his beard. "Perhaps..."
    (1:34:40) ***Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman is thankfully to engrossed in rubbing his beard into Ada's hand to notice his axe being violated.
    (1:36:33) Slants|GM: "How this boat can sail on land, good sir? What mechanism empowers it?"
    (1:36:42) Slants|GM: Asked the countess to Beefgnaw
    (1:41:56) Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman: "Magic," he says simply as he turns from her and begins tying up his ship and retrieving his axe.
    (1:49:54) ***Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman curls his lip in disgust at the unmoving slob laying on the ground, then turns and grabs Countess Lovelace and swings back to the deck of his ship.
    (1:50:10) Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman: grabs countess lovelace by the waist
    (1:53:43) Slants|GM: Poor Ada Lovelace, her curiosity got the best of her.
    (1:54:09) Slants|GM: "Teach me about what you call magic stranger, how should I call you?"
    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)03:07 No.12381143
    (1:55:52) ***Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman turned his head toward her as he swung up onto the deck and flashed her a brief smile through his beard. As they landed, he lay her gently on her feet on deck and turned his broad, muscular back toward her. He took a step away, then paused, caught by her melodic voice. "I am Beefgnaw the Chunkman, son of Biggrin the Rustrod. I have slain many giants and the Serpent of the North Sea."
    (1:56:01) sakuraba left the room (quit: Quit: ).
    (1:56:42) Slants|GM: The countess lovelace left the party, sailing on the mysterious earth-sailing boat of the time traveller, her paradigms of science shitifing with every heartbeat.
    (1:56:49) ***Beefgnaw_the_Chunkman turns toward her as a sudden breeze kicks up behind him, ruffling the loose flaps of his tunic and teasing several hairs from his beard, and looks her straight in the eye, his striking blue meeting her soft green. "You may call me Beefgnaw if you wish."

    >Guys I think we just created steampunk, if Ada Lovelace got interested in magic.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)03:09 No.12381158
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    >masturbatory gentleman

    >> Slants 10/09/10(Sat)03:16 No.12381213
    rpg log:
    most of it it's about gathering players, skip to (23:52:37) to get the juicy, flaccid, masturbatory bits.

    OOC log, mostly about mechanics and rollan.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)04:08 No.12381587
    The only thing I can say is 'he marched his wounded soldier into her rustic chapel, never to see the light of day again'.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)09:46 No.12382991
    Holy fuck this is still up?
    I honestly belive I will never be able to look at /tg/ or Roleplaying the same way again after this thread...
    It's magnificent.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/10(Sat)09:54 No.12383011
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    I have created this specific award, just for the OP of this thread.
    You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman.

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