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  • File : 1284578199.jpg-(261 KB, 1632x1224, SkavenAssault.jpg)
    261 KB Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:16 No.12099498  
    All right /tg/ here is the scenario, 40k comes to life, they are as have been proposed in other threads the same size as the miniatures, however your models are loyal to you and will do whatever you tell them, so the greater the neckbeard the more miniatures he will have therefore the greater the army.

    What devious plots will you unhatch with your minions? How much damage do you think you could do with what you command (bought).

    (As to whether you have multiple opposing factions its up to you if they work together (Heresy) or try to vie to be the only force you control, thats up to you).

    Pic related, my Skaven attacking my cat.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:18 No.12099526
    D'awww, such a cute cat

    whats it's name?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:19 No.12099537
    >>12099526
    Her name is Lily. I blurred out the tag because it has my phone number on it. I dont know why I put it there because she never leaves the house for more than 30 seconds.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:21 No.12099551
    >>12099537
    Better safe than sorry.
    Also those Skaven are fucked, call in the doomwheel!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:23 No.12099568
    You should make their first task cleaning your floor.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:24 No.12099582
    >>12099568
    Haha Im in the process of moving so bits of goodness knows what all dropping all over the place.
    >> Frosted Weasel !!dLUhj2yYgMt 09/15/10(Wed)15:24 No.12099583
    I'd probably get another battle force of some an army, probably guardsmen, for my boyz to WAAAGH! against. And just let them hang out. Set up a little USO for the guardsmen because I know how much combat deployments suck.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:24 No.12099584
    >>12099526
    Fastest thread derailment yet


    As I only one have space marine figure, uh.. I dunno. Fuck with his head for a bit then keep him to shoot tiny bolter rounds at annoying clients.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:25 No.12099588
    >>12099551
    Doomwheel reeks of cat-thing! Makes us sick-sick!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:29 No.12099637
    >>12099584
    This guy is the only slightly mischevious one. /tg/ is suprisingly chill.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:29 No.12099639
    I tried to play many years ago. The only thing I have left is a single, unpainted, metal, shotgun-wielding Space Marine Scout. I would carry him around in my pocket and use him as a scout. He could go places I couldn't and come back with information. Bros4life shenanigans, Ho!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)15:33 No.12099689
    >>12099639
    Im imaginging Porkies with neckbeards using models to unlock doors and open windows.
    >> alpharius 09/15/10(Wed)16:01 No.12099999
    currently I have 300 loyal guardsmen, 7 commissars, a commander, 16 Leamon Russes, 2 Bassies, 3 Baneblades, 15 mortars, 12 missile launchers... all loyal to me.. I'de take Australia or Britain... hole up there and train more troops

    also make diplomatic ties to the other imperial governors and their territories
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:06 No.12100048
    40k only, or do our Fantasy Hordes come to life as well?

    I wonder how well 30 Blood Angels, a Dreadnought, and a Razorback would fare against a massive Horde of over 300 strong, led by a Tzeentchian Sorcerer.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:08 No.12100067
    I have a small tau army. Actually, more of a small detatchment of troops.I'd have fun executing little wargames with my troops along with having stealthsuits/pathfinders become my extended eyes and ears.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:11 No.12100101
    You know, this has gotten out of hand.

    I have about 300 men hacking at my shoes, trying to break through the leather while a little Red man is barking about heresy into my ear. Every time I flick him off, fucker flies back up and takes a chunk out of my earlobe with his sword, and starts shouting the same tired speech over and over.

    I'm getting fucking tired of him. Of the guys at my feet, and this whole situation in general.

    But maybe I should start at the beginning.
    >> Captain Savior 09/15/10(Wed)16:15 No.12100140
    >>12099999
    quintuples aside, I really don't think that's enough to take over a whole continent
    >> that guy !CrwtTbFNxQ 09/15/10(Wed)16:18 No.12100160
    I have about one entire IG battlforce, a Lictor, a Valkyrie, two Sentinels and a rhino/chimera. I'll send the IG to raze the backyard (fuck mowing the lawn) and have the lictor sneak into places he shouldn't be sneaking in. the Sentinels are fire support/scouts and the Chimera and Valkyrie are for shenanigans.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:18 No.12100164
    >>12100101

    Now, I used to play this game. Not a Video Game you grognards, I played Warhammer, the Fantasy version. I had been playing for about a year, and had maybe 300 of the little guys so far, half of them painted. I had come up with names for Unit Champions, Background Fluff, sculpted my own characters from Green-Stuff, and generally was having a lot of fun with them.

    I played Warriors of Chaos, by the way.

    But I had also JUST got into 40k, the Science Fiction one. I know, if you're normal, you're already thinking I'm insane for playing with little plastic men. If you're a neckbeard, you're thinking I'm insane for playing anything by Games Workshop, so shut the fuck up and listen.

    I had finally finished painting the Blood Angels I had gotten, 30 Assault Marines, a Dreadnought, and a Razorback. I hadn't planned on playing any games just yet, wanted to have a nice looking army first. So, I had finished painting them early in the morning, and then I went out to get some groceries. It took longer then I meant to, and I got back about 3 hours later. Once I put everything in the Fridge, I though I noticed something in my peripheral vision, right by the floor. Something tiny, black, and shiny seemed to be staring right at me. When I turned to look at it, the thing ran away. I thought it was just a cockroach or something. So then I went up to my room.

    Every miniature was missing. Every vehicle, every troop, every. Single. One.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:18 No.12100166
         File1284581938.jpg-(8 KB, 193x261, in.jpg)
    8 KB
    >>12099999

    >40k comes to life, they are as have been proposed in other threads the same size as the miniatures
    >the same size as the miniatures

    I think you missed this part, bro.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:19 No.12100174
    >>12100101
    You're lucky. I have shitloads of 6mm tall Napoleonics trying to bayonet me.
    >> that guy !CrwtTbFNxQ 09/15/10(Wed)16:22 No.12100191
    >>12100160
    oh shit the Lictor isn't mine (I'm painting him for a friand) so I hope he doesn't watch me masturbate at night.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:22 No.12100197
    >>12099637
    I have always wanted to be called mischievous.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:28 No.12100247
    >>12100164

    I flipped. I screamed, I cried, I called the Police about stolen goods, and a few other things I won't mention.

    I didn't even think about the "Cockroach" infestation I thought I had. But for the next hour or so, I got REALLY paranoid. Not just because I thought someone had come into my house, and stolen my stuff, but because I felt like something was watching me.

    But every time I turned to look, I didn't see anything. I thought I was going insane, mainly because along with that feeling of being watched, I thought I was hearing things. Little clinks of metal on metal, and little wooshing noises around my head.

    Eventually, I fell asleep, drooling on my desk. I had nightmares of people coming into my house, taking everything, while I was forced to watch.

    Then the dream turned to being stabbed with hundreds of tiny needles, over and over, while I was tied down to my bed.

    I woke up, sore all over and in cold sweat. When I threw off the blanket, I saw something that I'd never forget. Hundreds, maybe thousands of tiny little bumps. I looked closer, and they were stab marks, as if somebody had taken a hypodermic needle, and poked it in every square inch of flesh. Some of them were still bleeding, some of them were more like little slashes, and I had a tiny gouge of flesh missing from my forearm.

    Now I was freaked.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)16:40 No.12100369
    >>12100247

    But while I was inspecting my arm, I saw another one of the tiny little "bugs". This time, I shot my hand out and grabbed it. It felt soft in my hand, and while I was bringing it closer so I could take a peek, I felt a sharp, stabbing sensation in my palm, just like in the dream. I yelped in pain, and my hand opened involuntarily, dropping the tiny offender out on my bare stomach.

    It was one of my Marauders, Karl Jonason, the unit Champion. I had spent 2 hours painting him, 3 more fitting him into my over-arching "fluff".
    "Karl! What the FUCK!"

    I felt stupid, as soon as I said this. But then he replied, almost too faintly to be heard.

    "By the Gods, you can speak?"

    After the few seconds needed to absorb this, I responded.

    "Of course I can speak. Why the hell can you?"

    "I'm a man, of course I can speak, Beast!"

    I almost laughed out loud, and reached out to pick him up by his helmet.

    "No, I'm a man. You are a tiny little miniature that's...speaking and stabbing and running around, which is the exact opposite of what a normal tiny little miniature DOES."

    He couldn't quite get a good position to swing at me, but while flailing about he managed to shout a reply.

    "Miniature? What talk is that! The Guilded Eye had just finished crushing Gollroaks Ogres, when all of a sudden we woke up in this mad giant house!"

    That gave me pause. The last game I played with them had been against my buddies Ogres, and that's the name he used for his general.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)17:00 No.12100600
    >>12100369
    delicious writefag, plz moar
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)17:05 No.12100657
    I might get the spellcasters and Pskyers to do things for me, but the Orcy ones are NOT doing it anywhere near me. I don't want to catch on fire or explode. Or get teleported a hundred feet straight up. I might get some of my Marines and Kommandos to go on special missions to disable security in places, and let me in. (I think I can probably rely on the Marines for delicate stuff. If i need general toting and breaking, the Kommandos are probably OK. I might get the other Orks to cause trouble somewhere else, and then go hide somewhere safeish, so I can pick them up.)
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)17:06 No.12100683
    >>12100369
    >>12100247
    >>12100164
    >>12100101
    Hahahaha, I'm loving this. Keep it up!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:21 No.12101514
    >>12100369

    Oh wow, someone actually liked it. I stopped, because nobody posted anything...

    "What do you mean, Golroach?"

    I let him drop into my open palm, and after picking himself up and dusting himself off, he responded, angrily.

    "Golroach the Dwarfcrusher! The blubbering idiot attacked the same Bugmans shipment we were taking, it was close, but we won!"

    I blustered back "That's my friends army, he plays Ogres...that was just an "Oi that's me ale mission". You don't...actually remember the fight, do you?"

    He stabbed my palm in anger, and I almost smacked him right off.

    "Plays Ogres? Friend of yours? What talk is this, Giant? It was a pitched battle, and we only won when the Cannon those accursed Dwarves run about with got a lucky hit off on their General!"

    Then he wasn't lying. That's exactly what happened in game.

    I put him down on the desk.

    "Are you the only one running about? Where are the others?"

    He wiped my blood off his blade. It had already started to clot, and after a few curses he got it clean.

    "The others are hiding under your bed, Giant. You caught me, we were trying to bind you to our service, but those Red Flying bastards stopped us!"

    "Bind me to your...I OWN YOU!"

    I shouted this so hard, he fell right on his ass.

    I looked under the bed, and sure enough I saw my army. Angrily, I pulled the whole bed away, squishing one of them that had broke away from the horde.

    They bristled, or at least their weapons did, in obvious fear.

    "GET AWAY FROM UNDER THERE, AND ONTO MY DESK YOU LITTLE SHITS!"

    I couldn't stop seething. I was...beyond angry.

    They didn't move for a second, and began to move away to the desk. I began to calm down, but then something landed on my shoulder.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:28 No.12101603
    >>12101514

    I turned, and saw what to my blurry vision looked like a Bright Red beetle.

    Without thinking, I flicked it off, into the wall. Instead of buzzing off, It fell to the ground. I looked closer, and the only thing that I could think to say was

    "Oh...shit."

    It was one of my Blood Angels, crumpled into a heap, bleeding slightly. I moved closer, to pick him up, but he was only playing dead. His jump-pack roared, or more accurately "Wooshed" to life. He flew up, screaming in rage, Power-Sword at ready.

    I batted him away with the back of my hand. This time, he landed on the bed. Again, his Jump-Pack activated, and he tried to strike at me again.

    After this had happened 3 times, he seemed to elect that discretion may have been the better part of valour, and he beat a hasty retreat.

    My horde took one look at me, and 5 seconds later began chanting my name.

    "Jon-a-than. Jon-a-than. Jon-a-than."

    I was a bit miffed about smacking around one of my favorite models, but...I could get used to this.
    >> Servant of the Emperor 09/15/10(Wed)18:30 No.12101623
    Damn, if that i've wished i would have more Minis then just Eleven Delaque gangers.

    However, these men are experts at stealth and sabotage. No more annoying music from my sisters room as Krak grenades blow away her speakers, the Heavy fashions up a series of vox video recording devices from whatever i would supply him, a few gangers in the air vents = woman's locker room video (Whats with that weird high angle man? "Oh they dont have grapple guns yet." Wut? "nothing.")

    would buying more minis causes them to come to life on finishing their construction?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:30 No.12101628
    Quick pause.

    /tg/, this is the end of this short writefaggotry if you don't like it.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:31 No.12101638
         File1284589891.jpg-(62 KB, 544x820, Spess Roman.jpg)
    62 KB
    Fuck yes!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:33 No.12101676
    Does Fantasy come to life too? Because my Brets would be hardcore as balls, in addition to my Lizardmen.
    >> Servant of the Emperor 09/15/10(Wed)18:33 No.12101678
    >>12101628
    I like it, please continue.

    If i had a larger force then just my necromunda gang i'd write a story as well.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:34 No.12101687
    I don't foresee my Ogres and my Blood Angels working together happily.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:37 No.12101719
    >>12101678
    That's all I need.
    Just gonna think up an idea for the next tidbit, will start posting in maybe 15 minutes or so.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:37 No.12101727
         File1284590271.jpg-(62 KB, 640x480, Moar!.jpg)
    62 KB
    >>12101628
    Post some fuckin moar!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:39 No.12101742
    Having Orks would be rather beneficial. They would probably loot all the power tools in the garage, and end up turning my car into a Battlefortress. Shit would be cash.
    >> Moap !fbIKgAOqsY 09/15/10(Wed)18:39 No.12101743
    >>12101628
    MOAR
    DO IT OR ILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU
    >> Shitnugget 09/15/10(Wed)18:39 No.12101745
    I got 5,000 points worth of Orcs.. dear god.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:39 No.12101746
    Haven't seen tinyhammer in a while, keep on with the writefagging.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:41 No.12101770
    Ah, this reminds me of the time I wrote that Huge Hammer fic and people decided to join the Imperium instead of having me write giant x daemonette porn.

    I love this stuff.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:44 No.12101810
    is this only GW or all minis.
    either way i have 75 points worth of cryx for warmachine, a shit ton of blood angels (roughly 20,000 points by last count) a large set of necrons, a similar sized set of dark elves, a few tomb kings, freezer box full of mechwarrior clix, and at least 1 of every malifaux mini currently out ( i'm a henchman) so if it includes that whole list i would capture maryland and combined with all the other maryland neckbeards leve the united states and create our own country.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)18:45 No.12101824
    Assuming DIRECT TRIP
    for ease of conversation.

    Next story is "Both sides attempt to convert Jon-a-than to their cause, but the TWEEST is that /tg/ decides."
    >> Glutton 09/15/10(Wed)18:46 No.12101825
    >>12101810

    >(roughly 20,000 points by last count)

    Jesus fucking Christ dude, Where the hell do you keep an army that big?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:46 No.12101829
    >>12101810
    However you want it.

    I remember the last big thread went full-retard and applied it to everything from warhammer to furbies. That was just ridiculous.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:49 No.12101865
    >>12101829
    If my lego came to life... master constructors and adapters everywhere... shit would be millionaire.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:51 No.12101882
    >>12101865
    They'd kill you with orange transparent chainsaws.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:51 No.12101885
    >>12101882
    Its how I always wanted to die...
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:51 No.12101887
    I own Ultramarines

    /thread
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:51 No.12101891
    >>12101825
    honestly a large portion of my attic. I got into the game right around the end of 3rd edition due to my fathers friend i bought all his stuff which was about 10,000 points including dreds tanks and then before i quit i had been given others by friends who stopped combined with what i bought from the store on my own it got pretty serious. every time i go near my attic i consider playing again but with no one left to play with around here they just chill up there. Most likely the reason i latched onto warmachine and malifaux so hard.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)18:52 No.12101901
    >>12101887
    WAAAAARD!!!
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)19:01 No.12101999
    So, thing had gone...oddly. Once the Blood Angel retreated, the Guilded Eye warband seemed to accept me. The "Sorkerer" (A converted Ork Warboss I use as a counts-as Sorcerer Lord) put up a fight, but it was as simple as putting him in a closed hand and shaking until he gave up.

    Only thing I wondered though, is where the Brass Beast is.

    See, I always convert my Heroes and Lords. I can't stand the thought of my generals and BSB's and whatnot being something anyone else could have, so I sit down with some green-stuff and bits. The finished model is a Khornate-Headed Spawn with way too many arms, bursting from a pool of blood. My explanation was that some unlucky (Or lucky, from their view) warrior is chosen on the eave of battle, as the BB's host, by BB himself. All of their clothing and weapons turn to brass, which heats to molten temperatures without melting. Then he bursts from their body, and he wears their transmuted possessions, and their skin like clothing.

    And he's the only one who isn't there.

    I thought nothing of it, and set about figuring out how this was going to work.

    Primarily, feeding them, because they still needed to eat, seeing what they did with the tiny niblets of flesh they had cut from me.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)19:05 No.12102029
    >>12101999
    >I thought nothing of it

    Funny, finding that thing would be number 1 on my priority list.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)19:11 No.12102099
    Well I can see my skaven and nids working together for a short while to wipe out my Imperial Guard and 10 terminators but after that they would prolly fight each other if they didn't do it right off the bat


    also plz more of that short story i'm getting into it
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)19:14 No.12102129
    >>12101999

    T-T-T-TRIPLES!

    Every model I describe here, I actually use. Including the Brass Beast.

    I tell ya, you haven't seen anything until you've had a tiny Norseman with his malformed twin growing out of his back offer you a cooked steak made from your own flesh.

    I declined, respectfully, and ordered them downstairs, to the Kitchen. Once the Warhost had made it's way down, I began cooking.

    Well, not really. I had a slice of Pizza left from last night, and that was WAY more then enough. I didn't even need to cut it, they just swarmed over it like a horde of really tiny Pirhanna's.

    Even though most of it was still left, I almost threw it out. Some of the more...Nurglish Warriors had left a very noticable mark on it.

    But I thought they might want it later anyway, so I put it in an old tupperware box.

    I guess I haven't properly described the Guilded Eye.

    The Guilded Eye is formed of a VERY VERY large Marauder host, making up more then half of their numbers. Dedicated to Khorne, these guys were always my favorite guys. Then a respectably sized Nurglite Warrior Band, with the Banner of Rage. A Marauder Horseman Horde, with the Mark of Slaanesh, and a band of Knights, Khorne again. The Brass Beast was obviously Khorne, and the Sorkerer dedicated to Tzeentch.

    It was a...odd bunch.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)19:19 No.12102193
    >>12102129
    waiting on you, glorious writefag

    captcha: rococo roisme
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)19:31 No.12102321
    >>12102129

    So with their Hunger satiated, we needed to establish pecking order.

    "Alright. Karl? Karl Jonason, get out here."

    Karl stepped out from the rest of the horde, still stained with oil and sauce.

    "Yes Giant!"

    "Don't call me Giant, my name is Jonathan."

    "Yes, Giant Jonathan."

    I scowled a bit, but then got back to business.

    "Karl, you are a Champion, correct? Leader of your tribe, and by might of your Axe, and the Strength of Khorne in your arm, Leader of this Marauder Host?"

    "Yes, Giant Jonathan."

    I bent down, and touched my finger to his forehead.

    "Then accept my blessing, and use it well."

    I stood up, while Karl put his hand to his forehead.

    "He is my chosen one, and he shall be my voice amongst you. If he is slain, I will destroy all of you, to the last man."

    I turned, and went up to my room and closed the door.
    I had no fucking clue what I was doing, and I didn't care.

    (Be back in a sec, walking dog.)
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)19:49 No.12102560
    >>12102321
    Thoughts, /tg/?

    I tried to fall asleep in my bed, contemplating what could have caused this. Why did they come to life? How? Why only them, and not the others toys I have?

    I almost fell asleep, when I heard a familiar "Woosh".

    This time the bastard landed on my nose.

    He looked me straight in the eye (Pulling my eye-lids open, as well), and shouted, just loud enough for me to hear.

    "I know not what led us to this hell, but I know you are the ruler. Release us, daemon!"

    "I can't!"

    He paused, and then replied.

    "Then you will aid us. Destroy the Barbarians, or your life will be more of a hell then the daemons of the Warp could even dream of."

    With these words, he let go of my eye-lids, and flitted off to wherever the Marines were hiding.

    God.

    Fucking.

    Damnit.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)19:51 No.12102583
    space marines would see you as a gigantic war abomination and try to kill you.
    IG too.

    for the emprah!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)19:51 No.12102586
    >>12102560
    It's great. Also, great characterisation of the SPESS MARINES. I love the dopes, but I'm sure they'd be just as fucking retarded in the same situation.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)19:54 No.12102618
    this is amazing man keep going, i can almost fap to this
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)20:04 No.12102725
    >>12102560

    I knew I couldn't sleep after that. So I decided to open up the Sanguinary Guard I had bought, and paint them up. I know it sounded crazy, seeing what had happened, but I needed to calm down, and building and painting did just that for me.

    I finished filing and building about a half hour later. I took them out to prime, getting some odd looks from the Guilded Eye. Karl was still in shock, hands at his forehead.

    "You okay Karl?"

    He looked up at me, and removed his hand. I didn't see anything, but then I picked him up for a closer look.

    His forehead seemed to be glowing, through the pizza-sauce.

    I wiped it off, and almost dropped him in shock.


    Where I had touched his forehead, the Mark of Khorne blazed with an intense heat, enough to scald my finger while leaving Karls flesh untouched.

    "Truly, I am blessed, Giant Jonathan."

    I put him down, thought for a moment, and replied shortly before going out the door.

    "That's real fuckin' neato."

    I thought nothing of it, and sprayed the Sanguinary Guard. It was short, sweet, and I wish I could have stayed out longer, but I knew I couldn't leave them there.

    While going up, I asked them,

    "How you guys doing?"

    They milled about in confusion, and then Karl took the lead.

    "We are doing real fuckin' neato, Giant Jonathan."
    >> ignorant bob 09/15/10(Wed)20:09 No.12102791
    Archive?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:16 No.12102868
    >>12102725
    I fucking lol'd. hard.

    Setting the marauder host against the space marines will be a slaughter, but with your assistance and the might of Khorne bestowed by you, victory might yet be yours.

    Destroy those dogs of the false emperor!
    >> ignorant bob 09/15/10(Wed)20:20 No.12102920
    more?
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)20:32 No.12103073
    >>12102725

    Back /tg/.

    I couldn't say anything.
    I had been burned both figuratively, and literally.

    I nodded, what would have been imperceptible to you or me, but to them, an obvious sign of approval.

    "Continue the work of Chaos, Karl. That goes for you guys too."

    I went up with my primed Guard, and began painting.

    Suffice to say, I had begun painting as more of an experiment, then for a true interest in painting these guys. I'd rather be painting my Marauders, at least the ones that are still black and without paint.

    So, I began painting them up to my standard. Halfway through, the same Marine (I think, they all look the same except for the Sergeants) landed on my Shoulder again. He stabbed my neck with his knife, and shouted in my ear. Well, a shout for him. Still a whisper to me.

    "What are you doing with those Sanguinary Guard, Giant Heretic?"

    "Jesus fucking Christ, you don't have to stab me every time!"

    "Speak, Giant Heretic!"

    "I'm painting them, I wanna see something you little Red Bastard."

    He removed the blade, and kicked my neck in some spiteful mixture of Righteous Fury and Hate.

    "Then I will watch, to make sure you don't mess up, Heretic."

    "Stop calling me that."

    I scowled. I was getting pissed off at this guy.

    "Stop calling you what, Giant Heretic?"

    I blustered.

    "Stop calling me Giant Heretic! My name, is JONATHAN."

    "You are a Heretic. And a Giant. Shut up about your name, Giant Heretic."

    "You are...impossible."

    "No, I am righteous."
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:34 No.12103097
    >>12103073
    See, the reason the marine is so self-important is that you're letting him get away with his shit.

    Knock him around a bit to show him who's boss.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)20:34 No.12103102
    "No, you're a dick."

    "Whatever that is, I am not one."

    "It means, Righteous, Glorious Warrior of the Emperor."

    "Then I am a dick, as all Blood Angels are."

    I was able to stifle a laugh, and went back to work.
    The last 2 hours went by uneventfully, him correcting my use of "Heretical, but color accurate paints" every few minutes, but otherwise fine. When it came to painting his "Brothers" he was much better then normal, even polite. He even wrote, in amazing, Gothic-esque hand-writing, Litanies of Battle all over the armor of the Guard.

    Finally, when the last drops of Wash dried on their armor, I put them down and waited.

    The one to the left twitched.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:37 No.12103155
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    >>12103102
    >> ignorant bob 09/15/10(Wed)20:38 No.12103169
    :D
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:41 No.12103204
    Come my Dicks! Strike at the heretics eyes and this is over!
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)20:43 No.12103224
    >>12103102

    First, it was a twitch. Almost unnoticable, but the Blood Angel noticed.

    "Brother!"

    That SG turned towards him. It moved...twitchily. Quick, jerky movements like a movie missing frames. The paint began to crack, and as he reached within striking distance with the Blood Angel, it all cracked off.

    The paint just fell off, revealing a gleaming Sanguinary Guard, covered in Litanies and gleaming with the light of the sun. It wasn't a paint-job...he had become the real thing.

    I guess my talk was rubbing off on him, because me and the Blood Angel both shouted "HOLY SHIT" at the exact same time. Then, the others paint burst off, revealing the gleaming armour below.

    The Blood Angel began talking to them, too quiet for me to hear. After a minute of watching them chat, they all flew off, too quickly for me to see where.

    "Where are you going you bastard!"

    Before he went too far, I heard him shout

    "Wouldn't you like to know, Giant Heretic!"
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:46 No.12103261
    >>12103224

    I can imagine them taunting him, chanting "Giant Heretic," then one flying up to his face and blowing a rasberry. Also HOLY SHIT.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:48 No.12103307
    >>12103224
    I don't recommend painting a primarch.

    On the other hand, you could gain the marines' help by showing them an unpainted model of the emperor, and promising to paint it if they cooperate.

    Finishing it will cause a lot of issues though.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)20:51 No.12103331
    >>12103224

    I had finally had too much. Between bestowing Dark Gifts, getting stabbed by Dickish Blood Angels, bringing plastic to life in hours, and getting stabbed by a furious horde of hundreds, I had finally had enough.

    I went to my bed, and passed out in my clothes.


    So /tg/, where to go from here?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:51 No.12103338
    >>12103307
    Or you could start assembling a titan, then if they get uppity, you slap a few eight-pointed stars on it and get out your paints. That oughta keep the little shits in line.
    >> ignorant bob 09/15/10(Wed)20:52 No.12103347
    >>12103331
    the next day,
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:52 No.12103351
    >>12103338
    How about that Brass Beast?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:53 No.12103354
    >>12103331

    Go to friend's home. Bring armies. MASSIVE BATTLE ENSUES FOR TEH LULZ. After all, you are a god to them; and gods pull this kind of shit. Or I'd expect them to in the WH universes.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:53 No.12103358
    >>12103331
    Organize the marauders against the marines.

    Glorious slaughter in the name of Khorne.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:53 No.12103368
    >>12103331

    Buy guard, paint guard

    Buy space wolves, paint thunder wolves- than pick up poo

    than lastly, get a titan. Reaver while you are at it. Paint it to shut those BA whiners up with Guard and wolves.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:57 No.12103396
    See, this is why you collect Slamanders. Bros to the last man.
    >> Moap !fbIKgAOqsY 09/15/10(Wed)20:59 No.12103430
    >>12103396
    Niggers to the last ape.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)20:59 No.12103432
    Threaten to put him in the blender if he doesn't knock it off.

    I hope you have that blender from the "Will it blend?" videos.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:00 No.12103443
    >>12103368
    >>12103358
    >>12103354
    >>12103351
    >>12103347
    >>12103338


    All lovely ideas.

    I think I'll post one last story, and then come back tomorrow. It's getting a bit late here, and I have work tomorrow.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:01 No.12103465
    Alternately, getting a bunch of Dwarfs together and then putting them in an ant-farm situation would be awesome.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:02 No.12103480
    >>12103465
    Holy shit I love it.

    YES.

    I need to figure out how that would work.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:13 No.12103637
    >>12103480

    I'm thinking just a big glass sandbox type situation, filled with dirt and providing them with balsa wood and whatnot that they can use for supports and such.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:15 No.12103669
    >>12103637
    While it won't be done today, rest assured it will be done tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow if something comes up.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:22 No.12103765
    So, I woke up to 24 Halberds dripping effluent disease into my face.

    Not exactly the most pleasant thing, you have to admit.

    "What do you guys waaaaaant"

    +MY LORD, WE SIMPLY WISHED TO SHARE THE GIFTS OF FATHER NURGLE+

    "Wait, what?"

    It's not that I didn't understand them. I knew what they said, and what they meant. What confused me, was how they spoke directly into my head.

    +WE ONLY WISH TO SHARE THE GIFTS OF THE PLAGUEFATHER, GIANT OF KHORNE"

    "You can...hold off on that for now."

    +ARE YOU DISPLEASED GIANT"

    I shrugged, which dislodged one of them.

    "No no, it's just...I need to look acceptable to the other Giants."

    +OTHER GIANTS+

    +THERE ARE MORE GIANTS YOUR SIZE+

    "About 6 Billion last time I checked."

    +ARE THEY DEVOTED TO CHAOS+

    "Naw guys, I'm the only one. Now, I need to convert as many as possible, so I need to look ordinary, okay?"

    They paused, talked to each other for a bit (I think) and then came to a consensus.

    +THEN WE WILL AID YOU AS POSSIBLE.+

    "Cool, but I need to go to work in an hour."

    +BRING ONE OF US WE WILL SHARE OUR FATHERS BLESSING+

    This might be difficult.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:29 No.12103871
    >>12103765
    Drop off a plaguebearer in the water-cooler.

    Hell, drop a Great Unclean One into the local water tower. Share Nurgle's love with the entire city!
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:29 No.12103874
    >>12103765
    "Share our Fathers blessing...how?"

    +IT TAKES BUT A PINPRICK TO SPREAD THE BLESSINGS OF FATHER NURGLE FOR HE IS A GIVING GOD+

    "So...you want to stab some of my co-workers?"

    +STAB IS SUCH A HARSH WORD+

    "And I can't talk you out of this?"

    +ARE YOU DISPLEASED+

    "I said I wasn't."

    +THEN IT IS SETTLED YOU WILL BRING US AND WE WILL SPREAD THE GLORY OF NURGLE TO YOUR COWORKERS+
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:37 No.12103975
    >>12103874

    "Then you can come. Just...don't let them know you're alive and moving. They expect to see statues made of plastic."

    +FOR NURGLE WE WOULD STAND FOR A THOUSAND EONS WITHOUT MEAT AND DRINK+

    "That's really nice of you"

    +WE WOULD DO THE SAME FOR YOU GIANT+

    I couldn't tell whether to puke, or blush. But I brought them to work, and put a randomized playlist on for the Horde, along with some food for the day. Couldn't let them cut up the Cat for food and drink.

    It was a long ride, every bump I took I thought I killed one of them. Eventually, we agreed that they would send a constant signal, just to say that they were alive and okay.

    I probably shouldn't have let the Devotees of Chaos have free reign to send Daemonic Whispers into my mind for every waking second.

    But the worst part is, one of them...is a woman.
    And she still has...desires. And she has voiced them.

    In my head.

    +ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING AFTER WORK GIANT+

    "...Why?"

    +I WAS JUST WONDERING THAT IS ALL.+

    "Well, that's nice of yo-"

    +DO YOU HAVE A WOMAN GIANT+
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:39 No.12104004
    I hope someone's saving this, cause it's pretty epic, and it'd be nice to have it all in one place later.
    Also, great job OP, your story is very fun.
    (my Nids and Tau would give me one hell of a headache I'm sure)
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:40 No.12104014
    >>12103975

    "Um, why would you want to know that?"

    +IT GETS LONELY SOME TIMES+

    "But you have Nurgles Hook right? You're in a regiment with others like you."

    +TOO MUCH LIKE ME+

    +SOMETIMES I FEEL AS IF I AM SURROUNDED BY MIRRORS THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US THE SCATTERING OF GORE ON OUR SHIELDS THE HEADS ON OUR BELT+

    "You mean you have..."

    +UNDERNEATH THIS ARMOR I AM A WOMAN GIANT+

    +AND I STILL HAVE NEEDS+

    "Oh God."
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:43 No.12104051
    >>12104014
    Surely she realizes that any attempt at sex would result in her death?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:44 No.12104065
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    winthread is win
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:46 No.12104088
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    Good Job, Writefag. Salutes all around!

    This be hilarious.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:46 No.12104091
    "Which one of the Hooks are you?"

    +THAT WOULD BE TELLING+

    "When will you tell me?"

    +I SAID I HAVE NEEDS GIANT+

    +I NEVER SAID I DID NOT HAVE RESTRAINT+

    "That's...good."

    +I WILL NOT TELL THE OTHERS OF THIS+

    "Even better."

    It got silent after that. The awkward kind of silence, heavy and loud in it's own way. The pregnant pause which has 8 kids, all more awkward then the last.

    The trip to work, other then the very forward Hook, was uneventful. I reached work, and brought my backpack full of waiting Warriors inside.

    Then Security decided to stop me.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:49 No.12104116
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    >>12103874

    >+STAB IS SUCH A HARSH WORD+
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:51 No.12104142
    >>12104091
    >The pregnant pause which has 8 kids, all more awkward then the last.

    I wish to have your awkard children.
    >> Underdark Russian Writefiend 09/15/10(Wed)21:52 No.12104145
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    On behalf of the People's Republic of Faerun, I declare this a solid winthread.

    Putincat approves with maximum satisfaction evident.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)21:53 No.12104166
    >>12104091

    It was Ned, kindly soul, but he always searched everyone. Didn't matter that we were friends (And he was the guy who introduced me to Warhammer anyway, bless his soul) but he was...committed to his job. He caught one guy trying to bring in a gun, and ever since, every bag searched. No exceptions.

    "Hey Jon, how you doing?"

    I put my backpack on the table, like normal procedure. Even opened it for him.

    "I'm doing decent, you?"

    He didn't look up, he was a bit busy rifling through my stuff.

    "I'm doing fine, just finished up the last of my Gnoblars."

    "Sweet."

    "Yeah, regiments coming along nicely. But-Ah Jesus Jon!"

    I almost had a heart-attack.

    "What is it!"

    He pulled out one of the Warriors.

    "You keep these damn things SHARP!"

    He put his finger in his mouth...FUCK.

    "Is a damn good paintjob man, this is damn Golden Demon shit right here. How long this take you?"

    "Just a few hours...everything check out?"

    "Yeah, it's cool. Just don't kill anyone with those things. Jesus man, went through my finger like butter."
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:55 No.12104184
    >>12104166
    EXCELLENT!

    Nurgle's gifts spread!
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)21:56 No.12104190
    >>12104166
    Oh god, Nurgle Zombies. This will not end well.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)22:00 No.12104238
    >>12104166

    "Take care Ned."

    "You too Jim, we still up for that game Friday?"

    "You know it."

    I walked off, but he said one thing, before I could get away quickly enough.

    "Hey Jon...Why ain't they on bases?"

    "I...wanted to set up a Diorama. Painting them separately"

    "So you finally doing something Artistic, cool man. Damn, this won't stop bleeding! Hope you don't have any grabby kids at the Games Day!"

    "Whatcha mean?"

    "If you ain't entering those, I am. Those are some DAMN fine paint jobs. How'd you get the highlights to work so well? Looks just like the real thing."

    "Just a few...drybrushes and washes I guess..."

    "That's bullshit and you know it. Friday you're teaching me, dig?"

    "I dig."

    He smiled, and we parted with these words.

    "You take care yourself Jon. Don't get into any trouble."

    Bit LATE for that Ned.
    >> Parker from AFMBE 09/15/10(Wed)22:00 No.12104244
    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    And we agreed to never talk about what happened.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:01 No.12104247
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    >>12104166
    >> Servant of the Emperor 09/15/10(Wed)22:06 No.12104299
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    Due to my recent love of The Redeemer, and respect for the Cawdor and Redemtionist gangs.
    Who would like Minihammer Redeemer? As you can get that particular miniature with a little Malakev as well.

    Who would want it?
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:08 No.12104317
    >>12104299
    It would end badly for all involved, I think.

    Go for it.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:08 No.12104319
    >>12104299
    I WOULD
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)22:09 No.12104324
    >>12104244

    No one knows about Operation Riverswing. And no one ever will.

    >>12104238

    I got to my office (Perk of working in a relatively small business, run by your Aunt. Nepotism, Ho!)

    I unceremoniously dumped them out on the desk, and almost flipped my shit.

    "What the hell was that for!"

    +WE ARE HERE TO SPREAD NURGLES GIFT+

    +DID WE DISPLEASE YOU+

    "That was Ned, he's my best friend!"

    +THEN WHEN HE ACCEPTS CHAOS YOU WILL HAVE A SECOND IN COMMAND THAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRUST+

    "That's not the point! Couldn't you have given me some warning!"

    +WE DID NOT DO ANYTHING ACTUALLY GIANT+

    +HE STUCK HIS HAND IN AND GRABBED ONE OF US BY THE BLADE+

    +HE WILLINGLY ACCEPTED NURGLES GIFT+

    "Any cure?"

    +NO CURE ONLY THE SPREADING OF GIFTS+

    I sighed. Slumped on the desk and almost broke into tears.

    +WHAT IS WRONG GIANT+

    "Just...just do what you wanted to do, okay?"

    +THEN WE SHALL+

    They leapt of my desk, and scurried into an air-vent. I didn't stop them, and I don't think I could have.
    >> Frosted Weasel !!dLUhj2yYgMt 09/15/10(Wed)22:18 No.12104444
    You, my friend, are made of WIN, YES!, and AWESOME. I hope to read more of these in the future.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)22:22 No.12104483
    >>12104324
    Work went by uneventfully, just how I wanted it. Until about 4 hours in, nothing had happened. Nobody wanted anything, the Hooks hadn't been discovered, nobody came in complaining about a metal model that they cut themselves on and now they'll need Tetanus shots and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

    You know.

    Nothing interesting happened. Until Lunch. I decided to take a Lunch Break,(obviously) and I went down at the same time as Ned, and Marie. Now, Marie is a fine young woman, short and buxom and VERY commanding. Whenever I think of her, I'm either terrified, aroused, or both. Which is very confusing, to me and my dick.

    So we all went down, grabbed some stuff from the vending machine, and sat down to chat.

    "So, Ned...are you and Jonathan planning anything this evening?"

    "I don't know about Jon, but I'm down."

    "Well Jon, they just opened this Korean place right down by the Shopping Center."

    "By Bradley?"

    "No, by Duke. And it sounds like a nice place, and I wanted to treat you guys to a little dinner."

    "That's awfully nice of you. Ned, you in?"

    "I just said yes."

    "I'll go then."

    And after that, nothing. Until I saw something in Maries Coke.

    Specifically, I saw one of the Nurgles Hooks. In Maries Coke.

    "Oh Jesus Christ..."

    I sighed, and picked up her glass without asking.

    "What is it?"

    "You got like a...mouse in here or something."

    She shrieked, and jumped up out of the table, knocking the Coke out of my hands, and spilling it on the floor. I was able to pocket the Warrior before they saw it, but they did see the scurrying movement.

    "Jesus Jon, did it get away?"

    I made some bullshit up.

    "I tried to get it but it ran away."

    "Fuck man, gonna have to talk to the serving chick. That's un-fucking acceptable."

    Bullshit Accepted.

    (Cliffhanger until tomorrow /tg/, I so sorry.)
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:24 No.12104513
    FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    this always happens
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:24 No.12104516
    >>12104483
    Nooooooooooooo.

    Have a good sleep.
    >> Servant of the Emperor 09/15/10(Wed)22:25 No.12104527
    "YAAAAAAAAAUUGGH...." I said, stretching my arms and yawning aloud, looking down at the new gang I'd just finished painting. Keeping with the idea of the outcast gang, with a good mix of red and purples, with one special character sitting in the middle of my new ten gang group of Redemptionists, though I could easily take some of my Cawdor away to add to it if I needed more.

    I was rather proud of my work, letting them sit on my desk for the night to dry rather then the two shelves full of numromundan gangers of all types.

    And sitting rather smugly on his base was my Leader, holding a weapon as big as his little friend and a head of flames.

    I couldn't wait to show off my new gang in the tourney I'd arranged next week, and flicked the lights, crawling under the covers...
    >> LaBambaMan 09/15/10(Wed)22:27 No.12104560
    I have a feeling my 5 Guardsmen and that Chaos Sorcerer are not going to get along.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:27 No.12104562
    eldrad's on my side. i mindfuck the future.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/15/10(Wed)22:27 No.12104566
    If the thread is still alive tomorrow, I'll finish this story and then continue after schoolings.

    Someone archive this, plox.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)22:31 No.12104625
    >>12104560
    Traitor guard in the making.
    >> that guy !CrwtTbFNxQ 09/15/10(Wed)22:34 No.12104663
    If there *is* a battle between troops, I am seriously going to love seeing the 800pt IG army (With Inquisitor) fight against a Lictor, an Incubus, a Night Lords Champion and a Possessed Chaos Space Marine on a 8" wide shelf
    HEAVEN OR HELL
    LET'S ROCK
    >> Servant of the Emperor 09/15/10(Wed)22:47 No.12104830
    >>12104527

    Now, I'd always been a fairly heavy sleeper, but last night, I really wished I wasn't, otherwise, I could've awoken as the first las shot flew over my pillow.

    Or be jolted awake as flamers scorched my carpeting. Hell, you'd think that missile launcher striking my bedpost would've woken me up, but for some reason it didnt.

    Although, the thing that tipped me off is a lack of alarm waking me up, so when i woke up rather refreshed, and rather late, I looked groggily over at my alarm through the bedposts.

    "That's weird..." I uttered, my blurry eyesight seeing the clock, but no light showed its time, maybe the outlet burned out?

    I reached over my bed and o my desk, my poor eyesight not seeing a multitude of weapons trained on me at the moment, including a Leman Russ tank I'd won in a later tourney, painted in heavy shades of red...

    I grabbed my glasses case, miraculously unharmed during the nighttime firefight, and lucky for my computer, so was my desk. I unfolded the glasses and set them onto my face, looking straight at a tall fellow with a flaming helm, leveling a plasma pistol at my face.

    "Weren't you holding a book?" I said aloud, confused as the model was just holding his Eviserator and a book in his pose... I got my answer.

    "Don't Move Giant!" Said a voice so loud I could hear it in my head, as the model moved, taking a step forward, my eyes now seeing that he wasnt on his base, his cloak moving as he walked, flames lapping at the air around him.

    I turned my head out into my room, a jaw dropping. Dozens a tiny red robed men walked about my carpet, scorched and singed in areas, all of them weapons raised and leveled on me.

    That's when my hair caught fire.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)23:14 No.12105157
    i love you /tg/
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)23:44 No.12105514
    I have about 70 sisters of battle models. If they're loyal to me, then they're loyal enough to all get naked and suck dick. If they're not, well I'm sure my nids would happily oblige.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)23:49 No.12105565
    >>12105514
    oblidge to nomming your dick?
    then again, I would wake up with a looted dog. fucking orks man. also tau...I have no idea how this would work out.
    "HEY BIG UMIE WUTZ YER NAME?"
    "you can call me mork, go make that cement truck I am working on look proper orky"
    "oh tau dudes, just letting you know, that mork thing was just for the greater good, so that way those savages will listen to me instead of looting and pilaging my entire house, cmon, lets go get some food so they don't eat my dog"
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)23:52 No.12105608
    The 1st Lorkhan Marauders are an Imperial Guard regiment, specializing in 'low-provision campaigns' - Or so they would claim. In truth, they are a self-funded army of raiders and bandits, with run-down, battlefield-salvaged equipment, masquerading as Guardsmen while fighting the foes of the Imperium. They commit heresies that would make Chaos laugh in mockery, while the Imperium would smite them, if they could. Their Rogue Trader patron carries the regiment from world to world, and warzone to warzone, in return for tribute in the form of exotic xenos technologies, salvaged from the battlefield. An Ork Mekboy and his Gretchin minion, as well as a number of Hereteks, serve to maintain the weapons and armor the Marauders retrieve, and then push into service.

    Why am I saying all of this? Because the Lorkhan Marauders happen to be looting my shoes.

    "Come on, men! Hussle up! One, two, one two! We can use this pair of giant shoes for the hull of our new command vehicle! We need to get it up to the desk for the Ork to deal with!"

    God-fucking-dammit.
    >> Anonymous 09/15/10(Wed)23:55 No.12105642
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    >>12105608
    looted shoe wagon
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)00:03 No.12105748
    >>12105642
    You guys want more? I can give you a little more before I need to turn in. Work tomorrow and all.
    >> ignorant bob 09/16/10(Thu)00:07 No.12105796
    >>12105748
    yes
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)00:11 No.12105841
         File1284610303.jpg-(151 KB, 600x402, skitarii.jpg)
    151 KB
    Oh fuck yes.

    SECRETS OF THE MACHINE GOD, HERE I COME.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)00:19 No.12105923
    >>12105608
    "No, fuck you guys. You're not taking my shoes to make a command vehicle." I glared down at the little mob of armed Guardsmen, most of them wielding gear far better than IG Infantry should be packing. One of them piped up, with an accent that I couldn't discern. In the fluff I'd come up with, most of the original Lorkhan Marauders had slowly been killed off, so they took in refugees from shattered legitimate regiments, or willing Imperial citizens.

    "Oi! Who made you the boss? Did the Colonel die when we weren't lookin'?" I rolled my eyes. The Colonel. Of course HE'D order them to take my fucking shoes. Such a greedy little bastard. I was so proud and so horrified all at once. "No, but he's about to." I turned to head back to my figure case, where the Colonel and his Command Squad had taken up residence. Currently, they were sleeping.

    I promptly woke them up by slamming and reopening the case. "Colonel, wake your lazy criminal ass up!" The Colonel yawned and sat up, smacking his lips. "Yeah, big guy? Whaddya wan'?" I immediately picked him up by the oversized collar(he's a converted Creed model - the cigar fit so well)he had and carried him back to the living room, to show him the soldiers that were-

    Completely gone.

    Of course. They only took the shoeLACES. Technically in line with what I said, but dammit, ALL OF MY HATE.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)00:25 No.12106006
    >>12105923
    >shoeLACES

    Oh, fuck. Ork Mekboy with giant shoelaces.

    STAND THE FUCK BACK
    >> ignorant bob 09/16/10(Thu)00:29 No.12106040
    >>12105923
    hahahahaa
    >> Keric, The Double Tripper Who White Knights Whilst Trolling !Ygi9BmqkvA!!aWD45G5T2ZO 09/16/10(Thu)00:30 No.12106054
    I rarely venture here, but I'm glad I did this one time. I saved all of writefagTelk's stuff into a Notepad file. Spaced out between posts and all. Plus I love Warhammer, so I couldn't resist.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)00:32 No.12106084
    >>12105923
    And with that, I leave you for the night, anons. Work sucks. If this thread's still here tomorrow in...fifteen hours(lulz geddit?) or so, I'll post moar.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)04:53 No.12108811
    A bump since its been about five hours.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)04:58 No.12108847
    >>12105841
    Sauce / bigger resolution - pretty plese.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)05:00 No.12108861
         File1284627615.jpg-(65 KB, 575x768, 1279866283325.jpg)
    65 KB
    If 40k is coming to life... what happens to all those cosplayers out there?
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)05:13 No.12108923
    ok, now I command:
    ~40 Chaos Space Marines (Generic + Noise Marines) plus Lord & Sorc, 3 Rhinos, 2 Oblits and squad of Bikers
    ~30 Skaven (Modheim warband) including some Giant Rats and one Rat Ogre and one Engineer
    single Techmarine
    single female Vampire (AoW model)

    Get together Techmarine, Oblits and Skaven Engie, explain them they are friends now and shouldn't try to kill each other. Then, we make SCIENCE!!!
    ChSM (commanded by Sorceror) take care of my chores and houseld (it already is prety chaotic, they should get used easily)
    Skaven are send out to make some cash (when you are 2 cm tall cunning bastart that can climb upside down you have solid chance of avoiding most security measures).
    Slaanesh Lord and Vampire probably hook up - I just wonder what will that result into...
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)07:27 No.12109631
    >>12104483
    Guess who's back.

    Back again.

    Telk is back. Tell a friend.


    "Ned, do you really think they'd serve a glass with a damn MOUSE in it? Must have hopped in when we weren't looking or something."

    "I guess, but why would a mouse jump in her coke?"

    I shrugged, and began to zip up my backpack and got ready to leave.

    "I have no idea. Well, my breaks over, seeya later."

    "Take care of yourself Jon."

    "You too Ned."

    I made it to the Office before I flipped the fuck out.

    "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!"

    +ALL WE ARE DOING IS SPREADING THE GIFTS OF NURGLE+

    "By hiding in her drink?"

    +SHE DRANK HALF OF IT BEFORE YOU NOTICED ME IN THERE+

    "So she's going to be infected?"

    +TO USE A PHRASE OF YOURS+

    +YA DAMN RIGHT+

    "What's going to happen to Ned and Marie?"

    +DO YOU MEAN JUST NED AND MARIE OR ALL OF YOUR OTHER COWORKERS+

    "What do you mean my Coworkers? Are they infected as well?"

    +ALL BUT THE ONE WITH HER OWN OFFICE LIKE YOU+

    "You mean Aunt Clarisse?"

    +AUNT CLARISSE IS SCARY GIANT+

    +SHE KNOWS WE ARE THERE EVEN WHEN SHE SHOULD NOT+

    +WE WILL REQUIRE YOUR AID TO INFECT HER+
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)07:36 No.12109663
    "If I do this, will you stay in here and try not to cause trouble?"

    +IF AID US WE WILL HAVE NO PURPOSE IN CAUSING TROUBLE AS YOU CALL THE GIFTS OF NURGLE+

    +WE WILL STAY HERE AND AID YOU IN YOUR WORK+

    "I don't know what you guys would know about Graphics Design, but sure. What's the plan?"

    +IT IS SIMPLE BUT WE DO NOT THINK YOU WILL LIKE IT+

    "What is it. Spit it out."

    +IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO MAKE SPIT SOUND LIKE WORDS+

    "You know what I mean."

    +WE WILL GIVE YOU THE GIFTS OF NURGLE+

    I think they expected me to lash out, but I just sat there.

    +AND THEN YOU WILL MAKE CONVERSATION WITH HER AND LOWER HER DEFENSES+

    +THEN YOU MUST SNEEZE IN HER MOUTH+


    "What the fuck."

    +SNEEZE IN HER MOUTH GIANT+

    +FOR NURGLE+

    "You guys are fucking creepy."
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)07:52 No.12109731
    >>12109663

    "Before I accept any"

    Did that stupid air quotes with the fingers

    "Gifts of Nurgle"

    He looked a bit puzzled.

    "What will happen to those of us that accept his gift?"

    The pause, only for a moment, was enough to worry me.

    +WELL+

    "Well what?"

    +FIRST YOU WILL FEEL DROWSY+

    +THEN SMALL HARD BUMPS WILL APPEAR ON YOUR FOREARMS AND SHINS+

    +YOUR SKIN AND FLESH WILL TOUGHEN+

    +AND YOU WILL BLUSH GREEN INSTEAD OF RED+

    "Are you saying I'm going to become a zombie?"

    +WHAT IS A ZOMBIE+

    "Living dead, mindless walking corpses that feel no pain and hunger for flesh. They really love brains."

    +NO YOU WILL STILL FEEL PAIN AND YOU WILL NOT DIE+

    +YOU WILL JUST SNEEZE A LOT FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS ALONG WITH SOME COUGHING VOMITING AND DRY SKIN+

    "Sounds wonderful"

    +IT IS ISNT IT+
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 09/16/10(Thu)07:55 No.12109739
    My Vostrayan, Valhallan and Krieg all come to life! My room is turned into a fortress! Now to go buy some tech priest for engineering.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)08:01 No.12109778
    >>12109731

    "I get that you want to share the blessings of Nurgle, but is this the way to go?"

    +WHAT DO YOU MEAN+

    "Going around stabbing people and hoping the succumb is inefficient."

    +WHAT WOULD YOU PROPOSE+

    "Don't worry about individuals. Does Nurgles Gift spread easily?"

    +IT CAN SURVIVE IN THE AIR AND WATER+

    "Good."

    +WHAT IS YOUR PLAN GIANT+

    "Go at the Water Supply. It's not going to happen today, but there's a Water Tower just a block away from this building, stores water for a LOT of people. I'll get you into the building, you find a way to the roof, and once you get something in there that's all infected, BAM!"

    +BAM WHAT+

    "I wasn't finished. So, BAM! Hundreds infected. And then they spread it. And then those guys spread it. Say, how long does Nurgles Gift last?"

    +WHILE THE MORE VISIBLE SYMPTOMS DISAPPEAR WITHIN A WEEK OR SO THE GIFT NEVER TRULY LEAVES JUST STAYS DORMANT UNTIL IT FEELS IT IS NEEDED+

    "Wait so you want to give everyone magical hemorrhoids?"

    +NURGLES GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING+

    That was my limit. I just stared at him, and then burst into laughter. Or tears. I couldn't really understand which.

    And neither could they.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)08:08 No.12109817
    CLIIIIFFHANGER

    HANGING ON A CLIFF

    That's why I'm going to stop posting until I get back.
    >> Cattra Kell !!72+ES5o3o8m 09/16/10(Thu)08:50 No.12110042
    >>12109817
    >>12109817
    >>12109817
    OH GOD KIND SIR; I hope someone saves this your writing is great and it got me through a 2 hour class or boring; I thank you fo that too; I cant wait until you continue.
    >> Keric, The Double Tripper Who White Knights Whilst Trolling !Ygi9BmqkvA!!aWD45G5T2ZO 09/16/10(Thu)09:08 No.12110150
    >>12110042
    I'm saving all the posts. Have them all down so far.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)09:20 No.12110230
    This shit had better be in the archive.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)09:50 No.12110460
    WHATS THAT?

    UP THERE!

    IT LOOKS LIKE...

    OH GOD, SOMETHING IS HANGING OFF THAT CLIFF! LIKE SOME SORT OF...

    *sunglasses*

    CLIFFHANGER!

    yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)10:13 No.12110697
    I said it before bed and I will say it before going to class
    I love you /tg/
    >> Cattra Kell !!72+ES5o3o8m 09/16/10(Thu)10:20 No.12110748
    >>12110150
    Possible .doc or.txt version to download or do I have to not be lazy and get them by myself?
    >> Keric, The Double Tripper Who White Knights Whilst Trolling !Ygi9BmqkvA!!aWD45G5T2ZO 09/16/10(Thu)10:29 No.12110803
    >>12110748
    Back, and I'll be waiting for WritefagTelk to come back so I can further save the thing. I don't want to end up giving out a sort of broken thing, y'know? Plus I'm sick as all hell right now. Too tired to even be on 4chan or even be out of bed.
    >> Cattra Kell !!72+ES5o3o8m 09/16/10(Thu)10:59 No.12110992
    >>12110803
    >>12110803
    alrighty; thats fair enough. ill have to keep checking back every now or then
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)12:01 No.12111460
    Who thinks that somebody needs to save this thread for posterity?
    >> Keric, The Double Tripper Who White Knights Whilst Trolling !Ygi9BmqkvA!!aWD45G5T2ZO 09/16/10(Thu)12:03 No.12111478
    >>12111460
    >I think we should archisave it.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)12:11 No.12111526
    OP here. Dunno if anyone cares anymore but I said 40k but of course it can be any type of minatures.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)13:02 No.12111914
         File1284656538.jpg-(433 KB, 2732x1528, Dungeons_&_Dragons_Miniatu(...).jpg)
    433 KB
    Actually, I was planning on doing a thread like that right about now, so we can keep this about 40K Miniatures.
    >> Keric, The Double Tripper Who White Knights Whilst Trolling !Ygi9BmqkvA!!aWD45G5T2ZO 09/16/10(Thu)14:08 No.12112475
    Bump of life.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)15:03 No.12112914
         File1284663795.jpg-(65 KB, 800x550, 1227141284558.jpg)
    65 KB
    already in the archives:
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12099498/
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)15:45 No.12113331
    WHAT UP /tg/

    I am back.

    And I writefag once more!


    +IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG+

    "No, I'm fine man. Look, I'm done with work in about 2 hours, then we go back home to the rest of the Guilded Eye. But I'm stopping by the Grocery Store on the way there, so tell me what you guys want to eat."

    +GROCERY STORE+

    "Yeah, is a huge place to buy stuff to make food with, Oranges, Lettuce, Cheese, Beer, all sorts of stuff."

    +AND MANY SHOP AT THESE+

    "Yeah, they can see hundreds per da-You tricky bastards."

    +THERE IS NOTHING TRICKY ABOUT SPREADING THE GIFT OF NURGLE TO THESE SHOPPERS+

    "God...DAMN IT."

    I had to admit, Nurgles Hook was getting on my nerves, almost as much as the Blood Angels. And while they just stabbed me, taunted and left, these guys got stuck in faster then Superglue. They knew what they wanted, and they knew how they wanted to do it. The only thing stopping them from running around the streets of Alexandria and stabbing anyone they saw was me.

    And I wasn't exactly stopping them at the moment.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)15:54 No.12113419
    >>12113331
    +THEN WE GO TO THE GROCERY STORE FOR NURGLE+

    "No. You are not going to the Grocery store."

    +WHY+

    "Because you're going to go about stabbing people and raise a huge fuss."

    +WE HAVE ONLY STABBED ONE PERSON WHY DO YOU KEEP MENTIONING STABBING IT IS NOT LIKE ANY OF THE 30 PEOPLE WE HAVE INFECTED SO FAR HAVE NOTICED US+

    "30 People?"

    +WE WERE IN THE AIR SHAFTS IT WAS SIMPLE TO REMOVE A FEW OF OUR NONESSENTIAL PARTS AND SPREAD THEM THROUGH OUT THE AIR+

    "And how do you know they're infected?"

    +THOSE BLESSED BY NURGLE ARE EASILY SPOTTED BY HIS DEVOTEES+

    "How..."

    +HIS SYMBOL BURNS ON THEIR FOREHEADS IF YOU KNOW HOW TO LOOK BEYOND THE MORTAL REALM+

    "Is my forehead burning with the Mark of Nurgle?"

    +NO+

    "That's a relief"

    +YOU HAVE BEEN CLAIMED BY KHORNE+

    "What."
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)15:58 No.12113442
    Eeeeh? Eeeeeh?
    >> ignorant bob 09/16/10(Thu)15:59 No.12113448
    >>12113442
    huzzah!
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)16:00 No.12113454
    >>12113442
    I don't understand- why did the main character agree to spread a Nurgle plague?
    I mean, why would he do that? What does have to gain from unleashing a potentially unstoppable magical disease?
    ONLY BAD THINGS CAN COME OF THAT
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)16:00 No.12113455
    >>12112914
    Why are Dreadnought hump mouse?
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)16:00 No.12113462
    Hey guys before I start posting more writefaggotry I need to check something out. Is anyone else seeing /tg/ (And all of 4chan for that matter) as orange background on all boards, and formatted oddly? it's been like that for me since the last FireFox update.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)16:01 No.12113466
    >>12113462
    Nope, using Firefox 4 beta 6 here and everything's peachy.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)16:06 No.12113504
    >>12113462
    scroll to the bottom of the page. above the lists of boards is
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]

    click on Yotsuba B. that should fix your problem
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)16:08 No.12113527
    >>12113504
    Thank you.

    >>12113454

    For the Glory of Chaos now shut up and eat your vegetables.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)16:18 No.12113608
    >>12113462
    Yeah, I saw everything as formatted oddly for a while, just go down to the skin buttons and chose one to your liking.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)16:28 No.12113707
    >>12113419

    I smashed my fist into the desk next to one of them hard enough to crack the wood. Lucky I didn't break any bones.

    "What do you fucking mean I'm claimed by Khorne!"

    One of them stepped out in front of the others, holding his Halberd and Shield in a clearly defensive position.

    +WE MEAN THAT YOU POSSES THE MARK OF KHORNE BLAZING LIKE A NEW BORN STAR ON YOUR FOREHEAD+

    "THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!"

    I couldn't help myself, I was pissed off. I was sick of getting stabbed by the Blood Angels. I was sick of getting told what to do by sack of disease the size of my thumb. I was sick to death of this horrible pun.

    +GIANT YOU WERE MARKED SINCE YOU GAVE YOUR BLESSING TO KARL+

    "Why didn't you tell me then!"

    +WE THOUGHT YOU WOULD NOTICE YOUR FOREHEAD ERUPTING INTO FLAMES IN THE SHAPE OF KHORNES MARK+

    +NOT REALLY SOMETHING YOU JUST DONT NOTICE+
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)16:42 No.12113884
    12113707

    I don't know how, but I was able to calm myself down. Well, mostly.

    "Just...can the others see this?"

    +THE NORMAL HUMANS CANNOT+

    "And the rest of the Guilded Eye?"

    +ONLY US THE SORKERER AND THE BRASS BEAST WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR MARK+

    "What about Karl?"

    +IT IS POSSIBLE BUT UNLIKELY+

    "Jesus...alright. We're going home."

    +WILL WE STOP BY THE GROCERY STORE+

    "No, actually."

    +YOU ARE NO FUN+

    "Be happy I let you come to work."

    +FINE THEN+

    "Fine."

    +FINE+

    With drawn out, weapons-grade sigh I collected them and stuffed them in my backpack. You weren't searched on the way out, so things went without a hitch. The only problem was the drive home.

    ++HEY JONATHAN++

    "What do you want NOW."

    ++I DONT THINK I EVER TOLD YOU MY NAME++

    "You're the one who...was talking about-"

    ++YES THAT WAS ME++

    "I'll bite. What's your name?"

    ++HOPE YOU DONT BITE TOO HARD++

    "Ha ha. What's your name?"

    ++KATERINA++

    ++YOU CAN CALL ME KAT IF YOU LIKE++

    "I'm fine with Katerina. What did you want?"

    ++CAN YOU UM++

    "...Yeeeees?"

    ++CAN YOU++

    ++PLEASE CAN YOU++

    ++MAKE MORE OF THAT PIZZA++
    >> ignorant bob 09/16/10(Thu)16:49 No.12113956
    she has neeeeeds!
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)16:56 No.12114039
    >>12113884

    "Hah, that I can do. But don't make it a habit, I don't actually cook it and ordering it gets expensive if I do it more then once every now and then."

    ++I WAS JUST WONDERING YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT IF YOU DONT WANT TO++

    "Fuck that, I'll probably eat half of it myself."

    ++THATS A LOT OF PIZZA++

    "Ya damn right."

    After that, we all shut up for the remainder. But I knew things had gone wrong when I heard a familiar beat, from my favorite song...A whole block away from my house.

    It got louder as I got closer, until even just outside the driveway it was deafening. Then I noticed that the lights in my window were flashing...different colors.

    Then when I opened the door, it all clicked.


    Sweet Jesus the fuckers were having a rave.
    >> Keric, The Double Tripper Who White Knights Whilst Trolling !Ygi9BmqkvA!!aWD45G5T2ZO 09/16/10(Thu)16:57 No.12114045
    >>12113956
    Conspicuous needs. Besides the Pizza. We should consider making another thread. This one is starting to get full. I don't know what the post limit on /tg/ is, compared to other boards. Also, the story just gets better and better. Still saving it as it comes.
    >> Anonymous 09/16/10(Thu)17:01 No.12114088
    All I can think of when I hear of those nurgle minis in the story is fucking bugchasers, and all I can do is feel rage.

    DESTROY THE FUCKERS. FOR KHORNE.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)17:10 No.12114175
    .I'll be making a new thread, but I expected...a bit more of a reaction to this SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT.

    Eh, they can't all be +I HAVE NEEDS+

    Give me a minute, just picking my brain for ideas.
    >> writefagTelk !!IHmAQx2NeeS 09/16/10(Thu)19:22 No.12115429
    >>12115417

    Whaddap.

    Well, here's the new thread sorry it took so long blah blah blah.
    >> Cypher !Qfw/yKqFpE 09/16/10(Thu)21:09 No.12116297
    moar please
    >> Anonymous 09/17/10(Fri)01:12 No.12119181
    Polite bump for more shenanigans.



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