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  • File : 1281594296.jpg-(29 KB, 400x300, For Travis.jpg)
    29 KB Worst DM Ever Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:24 No.11633488  
    Everyone has had a worst DM EVER moment. I just got out of playing with one and I do not think I will go back. In this thread, share your horror stories, and what you did to rectify the problem (by either not going back or just wrecking their game) if you did.

    Mine will be posted in a moment. I have to find the right words.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:27 No.11633516
    Went through two DMs

    First one abused the hell out of the dodge mechanic in dark heresy

    Second one thought cliches were good story telling and forcing discworld into forgotten realms was a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:29 No.11633542
    My worst DM story, part I: The gathering storm.

    A friend of mine has said forever that he is an amazing DM, but never gets to run because his gift for storytelling is only in the storyteller system. We all give him the benefit of the doubt, but we are wary because descriptions of his campaigns seem to be entirely cribbed from film plots. Not a bad thing if done well, who wouldn't want to be Indiana jones in the right context?

    However, recently he discovered 4th Edition and wrote a custom setting. He worked for 3 weeks, every day at work and every day off on this setting and kept telling us how epic it would be. We prepare our characters and when the day comes to play we are all ready. What follows is a 30 minute spoken intro about the world, each of our roles in the world, our characters and how we all are already good friends. Okay. I decide he's rusty and try to launch in.

    He described everything our characters did, from how we walked to how we talked to what we looked like to our entire lives. It was the worst set of railroading I have ever been witness to. We had a view of his world, we were visitors in the sense that disneyland's "It's a small world" is. We were not to upset anything, we only imparted our own banter.

    He tells me he has 16 months worth of adventures already dreamed up.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:34 No.11633607
    I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to stand up mid session and shout out CHOO CHOO
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:36 No.11633626
    Part II: Dramatis Personae

    This next statement of his should have warned me, it was mentioned in the car ride over to his place, as my room-mate was playing as well and we wanted to take fewer cars. His words to me "Man, this is going to be good. I hope there's no furry shit in this game."

    I asked why.

    My room mate gave me one of those "oh my my my, you do not know, do you?" stares and said "He plays Ironclaw, he goes to the LGS with the ears and the tail, he just got back from Anthrocon. He's a huge furry."

    I had never really noticed it, but I had a bit of a start at the idea our DM was a huge furry. Surely he wouldn't put furries into our 4.0 game, right?

    DMPC - Rakshaha
    Entire nation we were questing in (some sort of seaside microstate, I forgot the details in the 30 minute intro) Entirely populated by lizardmen. Tall, admirable, strong, intelligent, proud lizardmen as the DM put it.

    He put an 'ssssss' after every word they spoke that made be slightly uncomfortable. And the fact he spoke almost without pause for 4 hours of gameplay, that is a shit load of 's's.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:39 No.11633667
         File1281595177.jpg-(105 KB, 683x720, 1275886384309.jpg)
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    Fuck thissssssss
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:40 No.11633669
    Not loosly story-driven like a good rpg.

    >4th Edition
    Certainly not going to be story-driven.

    >everything else.
    Well that shows why he made the previous 2 mistakes.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:41 No.11633687
    Part III: What hath God Wrought.

    Three or so hours in, my room-mate decided to reveal the fact his true allegiance (by proxy of a letter sent to the DM, notifying him to not open the letter unless asked, that gave the character's true alignment (quite Evil) and agenda (Sent to assassinate as many nobles in this microstate as possible in order to foster a civil war between the nobility and weaken the country to the point of collapse)

    The DM opens the letter, looks at it, walks outside a few moments before walking and saying "You are all captured by the city guard". The city guard of course being led by heroic prince mandrake slithertongue (Yes, that was the name given) and we were tried on the spot for treason. My friend asked on what evidence and the Dm asserted that lizard people can smell evil.

    So, my friend dies and just shakes his head. The Dm smiles and says "let's wrap it up here." We thank him for his hospitality and, well, lamely plan to never return.

    As we leave his house he yells after us "Try again next week gents, these people are not that easy to undermine"
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:42 No.11633694
    You two should have thrown him onto the table, held him down and then raped him. That usually works. If not, shove all his dice and miniatures up his asssssssssssssssssssss

    >Squirming datioth
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:42 No.11633702
    Goddamn it other furries. I try and be a respectable person who just likes anthro characters and the staggering amount of porn produced by the fandom... And you have to make me look like a jackass by pulling shit like this.

    Goddamn it.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:48 No.11633764
    Honestly, for the most part, my DM is pretty good at what he does. He's an annoying player (ALthough, only by context. He's the only Min-Maxer in a group of RolePlayers), but his campaigns often leave us anxious for next week to be NOW.

    However, he does have -one- small habit that the rest of the group just absolutely hates:
    He can never finish a campaign. Things will build up, we'll get a good story going, the conflict and tension builds... and then he'll inform us that he's dumping that game and that we must re-roll.

    One time it's because he, personally, didn't like the direction a game had started going.
    Another time, he called it quits because he wanted to try 4e.
    Then, he restarted the 4e game because he ran out of ideas as what we should do next in game.
    Most recently, he retired our most current game because he had a dream about -something- and was attempting to homebrew a game out of it and wanted us to play it as well.

    While we like the guy and we enjoy the games he runs, we've refused to start any more games where he's the DM because we know that we'll never finish it.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:49 No.11633769
    Part IV: The Tarantino Moment Where everything goes back to the beginning.

    On the way home, my room mate is fuming and trying to find something likable on the radio. He tells me after grumbling some that this is all because of "last year".

    Last year apparently the two got into it at the game store, as my room mate was the DM of a game and challenged everyone playing in a 3.5 game to try to play something different than they've ever played before. The man who always plays barbarians tried a monk, the chick that always plays elven rangers tried a barbarian, the Sorceror-centric fellow played a fighter, the lulzy chaotic neutral rogue guy took the challenge of playing a Paladin of Tyr and loved it. Everyone fell into place with new roles and really found themselves loving a change of pace. The furry in question wanted to play a Rakshaha Wizard. The DM asked him to try again, to play something new. The furry came back with a Rakshaha Sorceror. The Dm shook his head and said "Try a different race, a different sort of class, everything should be new. That's the theme here." Entry? Rakshaha hexblade. Everyone starts getting into him now, saying they're tired of seeing the same old furry shit and want to see something new from him. Lizard folk this was put up, and shot down. It was furry or nothing with him, and the bastard actually cried, saying "This is who I am! This is the real me!" pulling at his tail.

    Apparently that is the reason for this land of suck. Not a happy ending I think, but perhaps something to think about.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:49 No.11633777
    Wait a second...

    Did you just admit to being a furry?

    Get the torches and pitchforks, boys, we's got a lynchin' to do.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:50 No.11633792
    Terrible fucking GM, regardless of furry crap. Let him know why he's doing a bad job.
    There's no way to put it that he'll take well, so just pick one and shoot.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:51 No.11633797
    I almost never have a problem with first time DM's, they tend to run games that are pretty light on plot, instead focusing more on the characters and the world, rather than going off to fight the BBEG.

    My worst experience was with a so-called veteran DM. He got it into his head that constantly killing off characters instilled a sense of tension and danger into the setting. Now I agree that the death of a character can be an incredible plot point if done correctly, and can even be the main event of the entire campaign. But when a PC dies every fucking session, without any warning or dramatic buildup, it's just annoying and sadistic.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:52 No.11633809
    Liking anthropomorphic characters does NOT make you a furry.

    You have just called yourself a furry though, so you are one. Better luck next life.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:57 No.11633852
    Any stories of that? We're desperate for them
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:57 No.11633853

    I will regale us with a tale I already told on this board, many moons ago, about an Ironclaw game a former friend ran and we subsequently ruined. The guy now, he was openly homophobic, almost to the point of violence. Now, I want you to keep this in mind.

    He wanted to run an Ironclaw game; we were loosely aware that he was a furry, but he'd never brought it up in any context, so we didn't really care that much. We figured, what the hell, lets give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?

    Well, the worst, as it turns out, was that the main villain was, in fact, the DM's Fursona, whome we found out later was a massive homosexual with an entire gay-love novel written by said DM about him, and we were playing through this novel, without the gay sex bits. Pretty bog-standard bad-DM from there; our characters can't do anything to stop anything that's happening, cut-scenes are all rips from final-fantasy, which we can't really act in, the whole deal.

    To be Cont....
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:58 No.11633857
    Dark heresy DM. Worst ever. The problem is that the DM likes cool character concepts without any regard to, well, balance. One of the guys in our group finds the homebrew rules for a space marine and wants to play one. Dm says "Space marines are fucking cool."

    For a level 1, 400xp spent only dark heresy game.

    Space marine player says "Oh, this is balanced, space marines aren't all that great".

    Game ensues: We follow the space marine around for five sessions wherein he single handedly kills everything, solves every problem, and uncovers every plot without our help.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:58 No.11633860


    Now, myself and a friend, we didn't really want to be railroaded or involved with this over-arching plot, being as our characters were not designed for it at all (I played a violent to the point of psychosis Raccoon Bandit, he played a Rhino Bruiser that was my minion and broke peoples legs for me). 4 or 5 sessions in, we fail to save the King of this kingdom from the villain who is riding a dragon and gives a huge speech. My character goes "Right, well, we failed. Lets find somewhere else to live." and leads the party away to another country in which we plan on setting up a Bandit-gang. While we are staying in the Inn in another country, the big bad guy shows up again and gives a huge speech about how he's going to kill everyone and we can't stop him and so on. In the middle of the speech, my character who has a Crossbow and a quickdraw ability quickdraws the crossbow and shoots him in the face, then the Rhino bruiser kicks him in the chest as hard as he can, launching the big-bad out of a 3rd floor window. Ironclaw is at core a very lethal system, its very easy for characters to get killed, and we worked out the damage and figured that he was dead from the crossbow to the face, much less the 3 story drop onto a wrought iron spiked fence.

    The Furry GM ended the game then and there and left practically in tears.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:59 No.11633876
    Kind of a bad DM moment, but honestly, I REALLY had it coming.

    I was playing a Dwarven Cleric back in 2e. Most of the party was minmaxing, but I went for a roleplay heavy character, who ended up being a half crazed, drunken hillbilly who ended up getting himself into trouble with his mouth after having spent most of each day facedown in a cask of liquor.

    I ended up having to roll for divine intervention numerous times because of my mouth, and always got lucky with my rolls (I ended up letting our DM roll for me after my first string of 10 18+ rolls) and ended up surviving due to my god going "I find him particularly funny".

    Long story short, I insulted a red dragon, and the dm refused to let me roll for divine intervention, and was promptly eaten at level 15 or so after botching my combat saves. May have been 16. It was years ago.

    My fellow players were overjoyed at my misfortune and refused a true resurrection/rolling for divine resurrection, but soon realized this was a bad thing, as I was the only person who could reliably heal.

    They were promptly wiped out by a lich in their next major encounter.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)02:59 No.11633877
    That strikes me as a rather common thing.

    A fairly new GM tends to let the game run itself, reacting to what the players do when needed but with an overall finale and the occational curve ball to throw at them. That leads the characters and world to evolve naturally as they explore.

    Meanwhile the "veterans" who write out a whole storyline, even if it has branches built in, will be totally thrown off if the party does something unexpected.
    Leaving the GM with 2 choices...either wing it like above making at least some of the effort put in wasted, or Railroading which means no wasted effort in the writing but wasted effort in the game as a whole cause it's not fun.
    >> Invictus Legio !FqHXIR7sz.!!cOI8McorfIm 08/12/10(Thu)03:09 No.11633970
    I thought minmaxing was simply good strategy?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:11 No.11633993
    Not the quoted anon, but in my opinion, minmaxing is just metagaming bullshit that should be punished with "rocks fall, everyone dies".

    Or Tucker's Kobolds.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:15 No.11634026
    When I was 17 I went to play with a group from the gamestore, an adult group that welcomed me openly. The reason for this is that the DM had consistently run people off by being a rules lawyer. I remember us getting into it over me suggesting to move a large stone sarcophogus with the assistance of leverage and a stick of butter. This dm, who is a huge fat sack of shit kept saying "Butter doesnt work like that, you can't just move something by greasing it with a single stick of butter." I tried to explain that it would, in fact, work and he kept calling bullshit, yelling, wanting me to 'grow up'.

    I let it go, but after about 30 minutes I went into the kitchen to get a beverage. Now, I couldn't exactly pass up what happened next, as a stick of butter was sitting on the top shelf. Not in the butter tub, just a stick of butter sitting there, half gone, poorly re-wrapped.

    I buttered his floor and stepped over it to rejoin the game. Halfway through our session he got up to get a snack and shot half-way across the floor, busting his ass. I ran out the front door without getting any of my things, just took off laughing.

    I suppose butter does move heavy objects.
    >> Invictus Legio !FqHXIR7sz.!!cOI8McorfIm 08/12/10(Thu)03:16 No.11634039

    Uh, why?

    So you're telling me that actually spending dex points in either KOTOR was anything other than pointless?

    Minmaxing is basically just competence. why the fuck would someone who is supposed to be a damn near-juggernaught need anything other than avergae dex?

    Why would a soldier need anything other than average WIS and maybe sligtly above average intelligence?

    I don't get it, and never have. Minmaxing is just competence. Any idiot who doesn't deserves the death they get. It's not like minmaxing prevents good roleplay.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:20 No.11634075
    holy shit
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:20 No.11634077

    To minmax implies you're actively thinking "How do I make my character mechanically competent".

    Some people, however, think "How do I represent my character mechanically?"

    They Aren't considering mechanical competence, and this isn't wrong. They're simply putting their concept first and foremost, and trusting the GM to make their character useful and effective in the game.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:21 No.11634088
    Like I said, in the right context, it's great. >>11633876 had a reverse problem than we did.

    When a min-maxer is playing with other min-maxers, great. Awesome. Everyone is getting what they want out of the game.

    When Roleplayers play with other roleplayers, fantastic, everyone's happy.

    When you mix they two together, though, it get's problematic.

    Min-Maxers, as you mentioned, are about good strategy and making sure that you're team will survive most anything the Dm throws at them. Everyone works on their strengths and use one another to cover their weakness.
    Roleplayers, however, work weaknesses into the characters from the start. We're more accustomed to create dump-stats because we feel it fits the character that we have in our head better rather than the stat being more or less useless for our class.

    A min-maxer in a group of Roleplayers is seen as a bump-on-a-log.
    A roleplayer in a min-max group is just an obvious weakness.

    In both contexts, the odd man out, to the rest of the group "Doesn't get the point of the game".

    Not saying Min-maxing is bad, friend. Just that there are different strokes for different folks.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:23 No.11634099
    Fuck you Travis
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:25 No.11634117
    Yeah, when I GM I put in entities (groups of NPCs) in the game that act independently of the players, try to have everything make sense in character with the entities working to their own motivations by their own means, then let the players f*ck around with it until the world breaks.
    >> Kriegfag !l.ic5nJKK6 08/12/10(Thu)03:25 No.11634120
    >implying I can't minmax and roleplay a good character

    Get out.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:27 No.11634131
    Not true, friend. You can in fact do both. It just appears that someone who -can- do both is entirely far too rare. Though in my own experiences I've had a rate of about half in any given experienced party.
    >> Invictus Legio !FqHXIR7sz.!!cOI8McorfIm 08/12/10(Thu)03:30 No.11634165
    Alright, I get it.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:31 No.11634183

    You CAN do both, but most min-maxers are also typically roll-players. They set out to "win" D&D or the like, and their focus isn't on creating a compelling character, it's on putting together a set of numbers and variables that can defeat what's thrown at it.

    Incidentally, there's a lot of bleed-over between this group and tabletop gamers.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:34 No.11634215
    The best way to find a roll player and defeat them is simple. Have them write a background for the character. Make them write a single page at least. It doesn't have to be flashy. It doesn't have to be huge, it just has to be something interesting. If they can't do that, they're doomed at Roleplayers.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:34 No.11634220
    Nick, get off /tg/ and go to bed.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:36 No.11634235
    Words can't express how bad my worst GM was.

    I'll just leave you with this: When the monster had a side note explaining that if it were to be effected by move earth it would be moved 60 feet and stunned for a round, the DM had the monster use its weakness on the party as an attack.

    Another time, we were attacked by a pack of monkey familiars because the DM couldn't find the stats for a baboon.

    Reading the module was very, very tough for him, so we ended up quitting the entire game because the next book was too open ended for him to read and prep for in a four week period.

    God damn.
    >> Anonypotamus 08/12/10(Thu)03:36 No.11634240
    NEVERR! Also the game.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:37 No.11634249
    God, I hate you. D:<
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:37 No.11634250
    Not saying that it's not possible, but my point is that, if the entire party isn't on the same page, then everyone's idea of fun is at jeopardy.

    This applies for everyone, Min-Maxers, Roleplayers, munchkins, even a group of like minded THOSE guys can have fun when placed in their own element. However, some people just can't blend their play style to the rest of the group (Or, in truly horrific cases, the entire group can't blend with one another), things can get hairy.

    I'll use my DM as an example:
    While he was able to craft lush worlds for us as a DM, as a player, his one and only concern was combat. Whenever someone else was DMing, he'd completely lose interest in the game until he was given something to kill. And, when he lost interest, he became disruptive.

    Pretty much, the only way for him to have fun in a game was your typical "Kick down the door and kill every god damned mother fucker" sort of play, which the rest of the group found absolutely boring.

    Cool. Just remember, while we may have different playing styles, at the end of the day, we're all just nerds playing a giant game of pretend
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:39 No.11634270
    Min maxing vs non min maxing. Ignoring this.... Bad DM stories, please people. Start a minmax vs non minmax thread if you want.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:40 No.11634278
    Sorry, I'm not "Nick".

    Chris, from Houston.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:41 No.11634299
    Just got back from a session with a fucking retarded DM.

    Apparently he thinks it's okay for a Lawful Neutral character to buy magic items on the black market because it's for the "greater good" which makes no fucking sense to me at all. Maybe I'm just not getting something?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:42 No.11634305
    Get off of /tg/ and go to bed, Chris from Houston.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:42 No.11634307
    depends on the black market, then, yes?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:43 No.11634329
    Let's see, worst DM moment. Right, about two years ago the group meet up at the DMs house for our usual game which had been running for about three years at that point, a few minutes in the DM gets up and says he'll be back in a minute.

    He wasn't lying.

    The only problem was he had doused himself in petrol and set himself on fire before running back into the room in an attempt to take us with him.

    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:44 No.11634341
    Let me explain further. Another character in our party who is Chaotic Neutral spends his nights stealing valuables from homes and sells them on the black market. The Lawful Neutral guy I'm talking about is asking this guy for cheap magic stuff knowing full well what this guy does just so he can get a good reputation on the underground.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:45 No.11634350

    Depends on the flavor of Lawful Neutral. "Lawful" doesn't necessarily mean "follows all local ordinances", just that you trend toward order and organization instead of chaos.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:46 No.11634365
    the question then is, for what purpose?

    A greater good, if sufficiently good, could perhaps be allowable. Perhaps.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:47 No.11634372
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    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 08/12/10(Thu)03:47 No.11634373


    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:50 No.11634401

    Fucking THIS.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:53 No.11634428
    Sounds like your DM was a flaming idiot.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:55 No.11634452
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    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:55 No.11634453

    Sometimes people just get burnt out mang, don't judge.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:56 No.11634467

    I don't think anyone can match this story.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:56 No.11634472

    Uh... Well, you win the 'Worst DM' story, hands down, unless someone else's DM did a terrible job of DMing on top of trying to kill themselves and others.
    Did he live?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:56 No.11634473
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    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:57 No.11634475
    Did this happen just as the campaign was heating up?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:58 No.11634485
    Trying to think up another bad DM that I've had....
    One of my earliest adventures into RP involved this woman girl from my school. She had a copy of Werewolf the Apocalypse and, for a while, we all had fun making characters and writing our own little stories involving them. Then, she decided that she wanted to Dm and actual game.

    Ok. Cool.

    Turns out, not so cool. Not only did she drop in a DMPC that COULD DO NO WRONG! (really, the thing probably killed ever baddie, was aware of every trap, and seemed to never fail a roll) that was also a catboy... with a second DMPC as his gay lover, she made our lives a living hell in game.

    She made us roll for -everything-. Literally. The most outlandish example is when we broke out into a jog to run down a corridor. Now, mind you, this hallway wasn't booby trapped, nor was there any obstacles to worry about. We weren't even being attacked.

    We had to roll an Athletics check. At Diff 6. FUCKING 6! TO RUN!

    One guy ended up botching the roll and she explained that he stumbles over his own feet, tumbles, and falls out the window (We were on the fifth floor by the way).

    I know that they played for about a week more before calling it quits, but I was done after the first session.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)03:59 No.11634492
    No. He didn't. Everyone else was fine though.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:00 No.11634501
    Jesus. Why the hell? Did you ever find out why he tried to kill you along with himself? I mean...I've actually got the shivers now. That's really bizarre.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:00 No.11634507
    I guess his plans went up in smoke, then.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:03 No.11634530

    God, these horrible puns can't even hold a candle to actual humor.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:03 No.11634531
    Guys, this was obviously traumatic. Can we please stop fanning the flames?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:03 No.11634532
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:05 No.11634535
    I can't be sure, but for the month leading up to it he had been getting really, I dunno, clingy? Saying we were his best friends and going out of his way to help us out. I can only guess that he wanted to die and take people who he liked with him or something? He obviously wasn't sane at the time so his motives aren't really clear.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:05 No.11634537

    I don't know if this belongs in a Wost DM thread.

    Sounds like that DM was on fire!
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:05 No.11634539
    What happened after he ran into the room, on fire?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:06 No.11634544
    Well, as awful a person I am for snickering at the bad puns, I offer my (admittedly belated) condolences. I believe you've won this thread, and simultaneous killed it.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:07 No.11634548
    ...no. No, that's not funny. Try harder.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:07 No.11634549
    He was a shitty char-acter, don't protect him.
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 08/12/10(Thu)04:08 No.11634555

    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:08 No.11634558
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    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:10 No.11634569
    Whoa. This discussion's getting a little too heated for me.

    I'm out.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:11 No.11634578

    Indeed. What an ashhole.


    Dunno about guy specifically, but some of the people who do that sort of thing are narcissistic annihilators. They believe that everyone else will suffer from their no longer being there, or that they're the only person that COUNTS, so they take important people with them on the way out the door. The most common type are narcissistic family annihilators, who kill the wife and kiddies and then eat a gun.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:11 No.11634582
    I think you're all smoke and no fire.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:11 No.11634584

    I guess so. I mean, he was in sin, irrate, and rather mean to his players.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:12 No.11634593
    Archiving for hilarity, this is one hot thread.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:14 No.11634600
    okay, trying to get this thread back on track again.

    worst DM i ever had was this fat, greasy, dirty dude who had a stench I associate with the bog of eternal from labyrinth, who so clearly wanted to fuck me he gave my drow damn near every awesome item in the MIC in the course of 16 hours of play over a weekend, and catapulted the group from level 1 to 5 literally in seconds. it was so fucking ridiculous, every time we got new items our best friend would just crack up laughing and shake his head at me, like it was all my fault because I possessed a vagina or something.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:15 No.11634603
    And Mr. Rage makes his appearances with triples.

    "You call that breaking my spine? You Red Team ladies wouldn't know how to break a spine if- AAUGH MY SPINE"
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:15 No.11634607
    >narcissistic annihilators

    Holy fuck that's a hardcore phrase.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:15 No.11634612
    Why does /tg/ love bad puns so much? I'm positively burning with humor, here.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:17 No.11634617

    >Thread starts strong, then begins to stall. Then anon tells about his former flaming failure of a GM.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:17 No.11634619
    It's that spark of creativity.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:18 No.11634629

    It'd also be an excellent name for a punk band.

    >ranatock (garbhadiksa)

    Okay, this captcha shit it getting out of hand.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:19 No.11634635
    That's one stinker of a DM.
    Also, gb2/kitchen/
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:20 No.11634646
    A good friend of mine was Dm'ing a homebrew modern warfare game. Now while he is a friend of mine he makes a horrible DM, and only a meh player at best. He thought up what he thought to be this epic level campaign with the BBEG being some giant mechanical spider thingy, which was supposedly indestructible. Well as I roll my NORMAL human soldier, I was all like meh whatever im sure he will find a way to have us, what I assumed where a bunch of normal human PC's defeat the BBEG. Well it turns out that one player was a ooze monster that was only hurt by electricity, another player was some limb regrowing wookie, and the last one was basically a 40k ork. So i decided to amp up my character as to not be left behind so I went ahead and made a Starcraft marine, with a jet pack, but as a roleplay balance thing his only weapon was a small canon. So this game goes on, yadda yadda yadda. And my friend allows the most ridiculous actions. Like the ooze going under ground and dragging ten bad guys under ground insta killing them, the wookie was constantly regrowing limbs and the ork was just being retarded. But as the DM was a good friend I tried to have fun and play along, but it got to be too retarded. so i decided to tone down my character into what basically was a Halo ODST trooper, with just a rifle, because i wanted to send the signal that i wanted to play more seriously.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:20 No.11634648
    Nice one. Now we're cooking with gas!
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:20 No.11634650
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    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:20 No.11634652
    I'm sure you think you're hot stuff, don't you?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:21 No.11634655
    I recently started playing AD&D 2e with a group that has about a hundred custom proficiencies (developed over the last ten or twenty years). One is Observation, which is basically like Spot in 3e. So I built my character, not knowing about these proficiencies, and went adventuring.

    Apparently, to see *anything*, you have to make a successful observation check. Like, a group of goblins tumbles into the hallway ahead of you and attacks. No Observation proficiency? You can't see them until you get stabbed.

    Needless to say, my character was utterly useless until I'd gained enough levels to get another NWP slot. I've never even used one of my other NWPs, but Observation goes down five times a session. Plus it completely supercedes all those points I put into my thiefly listening skill.

    (Otherwise, he's a pretty good DM. So maybe he doesn't fall into this topic, but seriously, this one thing is so damn frustrating.)
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:21 No.11634659
    So in the last mission we end up on a town street with a sniper pinning us, a bank, and a collapsing building. So the ork gets himself trapped in the building and the rest of the players are trying to get him out. not caring for the other player characters I just focused on the sniper and proceeded to kill him and stop a bank robbery in the process. This all happened with every type of mechanized battle suit from Battlefield 2142 to Mechwarrior 4 and Lost Planet all in the story.
    All in all it I now DM everygame with my friends and a couple of the players from that game are no longer allowed to play since they refuse to follow my simple rules of no monster characters.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:22 No.11634663

    ...So, wait. The rest of the group were playing a game they enjoy, and you were purposefully not sticking to the tone because you didn't like it?

    You're That Guy.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:22 No.11634666
    Everyone in my group is a bad DM, me included. Each of my friends started his campaign with us incarcerated, broke and naked (in two cases literally), and we had to claw our way up to starting gear. In d&d 3.5. One of them refused to allow 1.5 STR bonus for using a weapon two handed because he thought it was broken. The other one just run a boring game which ended after the third session, when I freaked out and killed his lovingly crafted female NPC after a botched interrogation (he didn't flip out because of this, but he admitted he had no idea how to keep the plot going). The third friend had a raging hardon for rogues. We had to minmax our characters in order to move through public without getting robbed, killed or both every ten steps. I'm the only one who recognized you actually need system mastery to survive 3e, so I was the only one still alive after the first combat, and it ended there.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:22 No.11634667
    You should have known. You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's fire.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:23 No.11634675
    Trust me it was just too retarded. Even with the starcraft marine thing i didnt do much. If anything I was the only one even trying to roleplay. Also I make a much better DM than a player. At least thats what i hear from everyone else.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:24 No.11634676
    So his homebrew has gone a bit flat and stale?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:24 No.11634683
    if they didn't tell you about vital custom rules or let you reroll when you unknowingly made a BLIND CHARACTER they are a horrible group.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:25 No.11634693
    Well, I was going into the kitchen at the time so I was the furthest away. The DM came in screaming his head off running towards us.

    I guess it was because I was standing but I just got one look at him and ran the fuck out of there. Apparently the other guys just froze in shock, but all but one of them managed to scatter before he reached them.

    The last guy was between a wall and the table with very little room to move. He said the DM got to the table before he managed to get out of his seat.

    They did that whole moving left and right thing, you know, one guy trying to catch someone and one guy trying to not get caught? But as the DM was on fire he set the cloth covering the table on fire.

    Eventually the DM stopped sceaming and sort of got this rattly breath and lunged across the table, landing on top of it. So the guy took his chance, ran across the room and jumped out the window. I actually saw that bit. He literally jumped face first through a fucking window. The DM just died on the table.

    Fucker didn't get me but he took some of my books with him.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:26 No.11634696
    My own campaign got off to a fine start; I gave them gear several levels above them, then had their boat sink and them wake up in the middle of Bumblefuck, Nowhere with nothing but rags on their backs. It went on smoothly, in the sense that none of us were veteran enough to know what railroading is. I pretty much pulled them on a leash through three layers of railroad, with them being forcibly conscripted into an army, then being scared into working for their country's local spymaster, then having to bite obvious plot hooks in order to get plot-related info. As I was improvising pretty much all the time, most of the stuff they had to do ended up completely unnecessary just two sessions later. Then they left to steal ancient steam golem plans from an ancient artificer's tower, got set upon by an ancient steam golem with a stealthy mass-murderer twist, and one friend and his girl got addicted to WoW and started lying about being too busy to come, while the remaining two refused to play with such a small party. In retrospect, I should have let them persuade that elf ranger kid to come with them. And I shouldn't have killed the dwarf NPC using a resetting PW:K trap on a chest with ancient wizard underwear.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:27 No.11634712
    That's fucking terrifying.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:27 No.11634714
    Also when i went up to the snipers nest to loot it i asked what else i saw, and he literally said, graph paper, then entire country side is just flat graph paper, didn't even bother to make anything up.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:27 No.11634716
    That ash hole. Good thing he wasn't enough of a hot shot to get a gun.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:31 No.11634751
    You have to admire his burning passion for DMing
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:33 No.11634762
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    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:34 No.11634778
    Oh yes, and I randomly switched moods between serious and farcical between sessions. For better or for worse, they didn't seem to notice.
    >> BonusPoints !iZhdusL/P. 08/12/10(Thu)04:34 No.11634787
    The worst GM ever (yeah, DMs have all been, at worst, meh) was running WFRPG.

    He started the game off with us having the fairly boring objective of guarding some magical gewgaw with scripted failure, but whatever.

    We then acted on a plan to get retribution on the people who caused our failure, while robbing one of their visible supporters of one of his properties in exchange for not ratting him out for something-or-other. Things went sort of OK, and we wound up as proprietors of a shitty tavern near the city docks, that we invested our ill-gotten gains largely in renovating and furnishing up into a proper whorehouse.

    Cue end of session 1, where we have made an enemy organization, an upset powerful individual, a separate hostile but not powerful individual, and several agreements with local law enforcement and businessfolk, and have a vested interest in several events in the city as well as a shaky base of operations with numerous objectives needing completion in order to pursue our dreams of not-abject-poverty.

    Session 2 opens with everyone on a boat away from *all of the interesting things we knew of in the game* for no properly explained reason. Nothing interesting happened for the session.

    What kind of moron has players taking an active interest in a series of linked setting-elements, characters, entities, and goals, then picks them up and moves them along *without a plan*?
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 08/12/10(Thu)04:40 No.11634844
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    It's just some books, bro. No need to get hot under the collar.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:51 No.11634926
    Had a GM running CthulhuTech. Decided to play Rambo Gump with grenades, and he was stupid enough to give me 15 of each kind. took out an entire house, half my squad, and the plot character (which he had to nerf) with my high-explosive grenades. Lol'd all night long.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:54 No.11634941
    worst GM, by far -

    Hero system. setting is marvel universe, 80's era, focusing on the x-mansion. First mission, we go to the savage land. Q from star trek shows up and forces us to participate in a cheesy reality tv themed retarded thing, 'survivor savage land.' The session is so horrible that the following week it isn't even detailed how we got back. We just flipped right through it. I am feeling nervous, but everyone has off days. We continue the game...

    Fast forward, player A is playing a non corporeal entity. He's a sort of astral traveler that has to take shelter inside a person and use them as a host to rest. Out of respect for the GM's creativity, player A lets the GM pick his first host. Player B is unknowingly ripping off Colossus by playing a russian mutant with a fragile little sister and his power is to turn into stone and become really strong. Player C is playing a James Bond ripoff.

    Player C decided, it will be funny OOC to mess with player B and have him hit on his dependant NPC sister. GM says, "uh, roll something for seduction" player rolls. succeeds. sister is now pregnant. GM decides that she will be player A's host, and since she's a telepath, or something, he becomes entangled and can't leave her body. Player A is now stuck in the useless body of Player B's pregnant little sister.

    Player D's character has mental problems and spends every session talking to himself in a mirror, and fucking his girlfriend, Feral, from the comics. Basically she's a furry.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)04:55 No.11634946
    Wow. What the blazes would drive someone to such lengths?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:03 No.11635010

    Player A, B and myself rapidly loose faith that this campaign is going to go anywhere, and try hard to find the plot. In so doing, player A abandons his concept and rerolls a cowboy styled gunslinger who, due to some spirit journey shenanigans, is possessed by a spirit of wendigo giving him some abilities. My character is a telepath who unknowingly contacted some extradimensional evil demon that has invaded his mind and is battling for control.

    Third session, fucking Mystique shows up and GM has written her as having two handguns that are each 2D6 Ranged killing attacks's, and she fires both each round. My characters colt 45 is 1D6+1, and .50 rounds are listed in the manual as 2D6, to give you an idea of the damage scaling, here. She hits cowboy with both rounds on the first combat he was ever in and poof, no more cowboy.

    This is where we'd pretty much had enough. Out of game drama between the GM being married to player C and wanting to fuck player D meant that players A, B and myself were really no longer comfortable at the table. We engineered a plan to break the game and oust her from the GM chair.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:04 No.11635017
    Your roommate got what he deserved. Did it not occur to him that NPCs might use "detect evil"-like abilities (active or passive) on his character without his knowledge? Meaning those NPCs should have reacted completely differently than how the DM had them react at the time, thereby forcing the DM to retcon hours of gameplay once he finds out?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:12 No.11635085

    the hero system method for making a character is basically like how you build an army in 40k. every stat/ability/power costs points, and the more points you have to spend the more powerful your character. starting characters get 100 points to spend and can acquire more by taking disadvantages. The GM was odd in that she didn't cap how many disadvantage points we could take, this is normally done to keep things from getting silly.

    So, I got silly. While everyone else was using the system to build their character, I actually spent most of the character creation time building the demon form of the creature in my characters mind. The character I played was a multiform that I stayed in constantly (essentially, I was playing the bruce banner form, and the idea is to never let the Hulk out and get loose).

    I spent like two days making the demon form, and it ended up being an 800 point character after taking psych disadvantages like, "destroy all things pure" and "berserk under all circumstances, always"

    The hope was that if we could engineer events that would make my characters mental fortitude fail, the demon would get out, kill everyone in a huge purifying battle, and end the game. Sadly it never ended up happening because the GM actually did end up sleeping with player D, even though he had a girlfriend and the GM was married to player C - which predictably resulted in player C meeting with and fucking player D's girlfriend. Player A, B and myself try never to revisit that dark time.

    And that was the worst GM I ever had.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:30 No.11635214
    >fuck players
    > maybe she would had fucked you if you played your cards right

    Yeah thats definitively worse than the DM burned himself while trying to kill his players by setting them on fire.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:33 No.11635234

    Fuck, man, having your DM self-immolate and attempt to take out the rest of your group pretty much tops every other possible bad DM story.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:44 No.11635304

    Well duh. It's called "fighting for second."
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:47 No.11635320
    Detect evil and detect good are the single two most retarded abilities in any table-top rpg.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:49 No.11635337
    Eh, I can't argue with you there, but they do exist, and the player should have taken that into account when deciding to spring that kind of shit on the DM. Hiding stuff from the DM is just a bad idea in general, IMO, and I guess the DM in this case shares some of the blame for allowing it.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)05:51 No.11635347
    Bah, why you gotta delete and re-post? This should be a reply to >>11635320.
    >> SpankyJefferson 08/12/10(Thu)05:54 No.11635366
    Is it possible for the DM to make a character that is undetectibly evil? Like they believe they are good, so they would be detected as good?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)06:21 No.11635517
    Had a DM that would not allow magic in her campaigns unless she got to pick your spells. No supernatural or spell like abilities either, she just flat out nerfed everything into the ground that wasn't a fighter. Her idea of a good time is 4 level 2 fighters with straight 12's for stats in a combat heavy game. She considers anything over level 8 a "high level campaign" and feels the characters are too powerful and starts up a new game. If you try and raise a stat to the ungodly height of 16, she complains about it being unrealistic and about min-maxers. Humored her for a while, now she can find a new player for her control freak, time wasting bitch-fest.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)06:23 No.11635541
    > female DM
    Well, there's your problem.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)06:26 No.11635560
    No, because EVERYONE knows that Good and Evil are absolute truths, and that no matter how good or evil you think your actions are, your absolute moral compass always indicates your true alignment. Obviously. Duh.

    Just like in real life, amirite? Shades of gray my ass.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)06:36 No.11635638
    Shadowrun game. Guy made it over years for other people. Red flag.

    Mission one, Resident Evil ripoff. Seems okay. Mission two, bust a guy out of a hospital. Goes good. Mission three, go to Bug City. Get raped. Repeatedly. By giant bugs. Mission four, space station. The fuck?

    Had as many DMPCs as PCs because we weren't specced right, all magical. Heavilly relied on them just to live. By the time of the space station, we've got maps out, and spent weeks out of game trying to find a way to get the guy (WIth the DM bitchging about how long we're taking), only to have him insert a guard station where we were told it was clear. Eventually have to smash-and-grab.

    As soon as we hit Earth again (still minus all teh gear we could not sneak into space), we are pretty much immediately attacked by people who know we have our target, and who put him in yet another heavilly fortified building.

    Me and my bro-tier friend finally say fuck it. We're the last of the original players. Everyone else joined up at Space Station Fuck You.
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)07:33 No.11636021
    >Get raped. Repeatedly. By giant bugs.


    Who the fuck wouldn't call it in after that?
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 08/12/10(Thu)07:37 No.11636037

    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)07:42 No.11636051
    Just fucking wow...

    >mother's ithation - what does that mean Captcha?
    >> Anonymous 08/12/10(Thu)08:12 No.11636208

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