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  • File : 1277160948.png-(159 KB, 924x676, badass oak.png)
    159 KB ITT we run games/quests on Omegle and report the results. Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)18:55 No.10649511  
    >ITT we run games/quests on Omegle and then report the results

    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: i transform into optoastus prime to fight the evil deceptiovens
    You: You are now in Optoastus Prime battle form. The Deceptiovens are nowhere to be seen. What is your plan?
    Stranger: scan the perimeter using microwavatron to detect their evil prescence
    You: Microwavatron, your loyal ally, reports the Deceptiovens appear to have moved their base to the garage. Their evil presence is pinging very strongly. What do you wish to do?
    Stranger: sneak through the house to the garage, and drop in from the ceiling, taking the deceptiovens by surprise
    You: The Deceptiovens were in the middle of some no doubt nefarious scheming as you drop from the attic entrance, Microwavatron beeping behind you. Surprise is yours! Now what?
    Stranger: we use our laser eyes and mighty special effects to destroy the deceptiovens before they can respond, all whilst heating delicious pop tarts as a victory snack
    You: Your laser eyes cut one in half, and the rest are sent into shock by your amazing special effects! But lo, it's MegaStove, whose shiny surface reflects your lasers! He has a powerful heat beam, and he wants those pop tarts.
    Stranger: me and microwavatron realise we are outgunned... but then michael bay comes in to save the day! Pointless explosions ensue
    You: Michael Bay unplugs MegaStove, and eats a poptart.
    You: In the background, there is an explosion.
    You: YOU WIN!
    Stranger: Hooray! Pop tarts and record-breaking movies for everyone!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)18:56 No.10649520
         File1277160990.jpg-(40 KB, 562x437, HA_HA_HA,_OH_WOW.jpg)
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    >>Optoastus Prime
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)18:56 No.10649526
    Omegle is good at RP, huh.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)18:57 No.10649531
    I started this one after inspiration from an old /tg/ classic, but another one I'm doing right now is completely different, and looks promising.

    Let's bring /tg/ to the masses tonight.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)18:59 No.10649573
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:06 No.10649666

    You: You are a robot car. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: dance
    You: You scoot back and forth within the garage. It's sort of like dancing.
    You: There's not much room in here though.
    Stranger: i open the garage and dance in the street
    Stranger: pick up on some fly lady robot cars
    Stranger: run over some people
    You: Good thing the humans installed the garage opener in you! With the free road before you, it's easy to drive back and forth and all around.
    Stranger: oh yes
    You: The female cars are highly impressed with your human smashing maneuvers.
    You: Their drivers, less so.
    You: Their drivers are keeping them from sidling up next to you!
    You: Those jerks.
    Stranger: they aren't who i am out to impress
    You: Good thing, because they're frightened if anything. But their hands on the steering wheels are pulling the female cars away.
    Stranger: i give them the wink as i pass by, they know i'll be around in the evening when the lights go down
    You: The female cars swoon as they get driven away.
    You: What is your current plan?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:07 No.10649690
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    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:11 No.10649786

    You: What is your current plan?
    Stranger: to end my sad existence as a slave to humanity
    Stranger: lady cars be damned its not worth it in the end
    You: How will you off yourself?
    You: Pills won't work on a robot car.
    Stranger: i am trying to come up with the best possible way, thats why i havent taken the dive just yet
    Stranger: drving off a cliff doesnt seem cool enough
    You: Your robot brain has had much time to think while cooped in the garage.
    Stranger: and thinking has driven me to a life of casual vehicular sex and insanity
    You: That would explain all those little mini cars in the neighborhood these days.
    Stranger: i am the wilt chamberlin of robot cars
    You: As you drive around thinking on death, a helicopter passes overhead.
    You: It's shining a bright light down on you.
    Stranger: is it God?
    You: It's the fuzz!
    You: Your human smashing spree must have been noticed!
    Stranger: then i go out in style!
    You: They are trying to board you!
    You: The helicopter is flying low, and humans are getting ready to jump out onto you.
    Stranger: i will amass as much damage as i can before the military gets involved
    You: What will you smash first?
    Stranger: children!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:13 No.10649828
    >Let's bring /tg/ to the masses tonight.

    Okay, I'm in. Let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:17 No.10649906
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:21 No.10649988
    This looks fun
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:22 No.10650031
    My God, it's better than RIFTS.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:27 No.10650137

    You: What will you smash first?
    Stranger: children!
    Stranger: and then people in line at cinabon
    You: To your left, is a school several blocks over with a school bus disembarking. To your right, the world's longest cinabon line. You're at a T in the road--you may only have time for one before the fuzz try to use spike strips. Which way?
    Stranger: i make the right. the worlds longest cinabon line deserves a good smashing
    You: There must be a good 80 people here--the store is brand new and they're giving out massive discounts. They try to flee out of your way, but your doors are fully automated, and can swing out to catch the ones who dodge.
    You: The helicopter is descending!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:28 No.10650156

    Stranger: the light feels good on my paint. i feel a peace that i have never felt i my life. blood and frosting splattered across my windshield, i am ready! i am ready to come home!
    You: Several other helicopters are in the sky overhead--the news, catching all of this on film. The police have decided to up the ante--that's a rocket launcher in the chopper! They shoot the rocket, and fire covers you even more than the blood and frosting.
    You: You've got time for one last move before you explode!
    You: The people nearby you, however, not so much. Oops, way to go cops.
    Stranger: this is perfect. i take off full speed at the security gaurd texting on his cell phone. i turn him into juice. and the fireballs lift me out of this world once and for all.
    You: The fireball lights the gas tank near the cinabon, taking out the entire new structure. The sight dominates the newswaves for a good week before yet another Paris Hilton scandal becomes the new hot news item.
    You: Robot cars are made illegal. You are the last of your kind for 50 years. The female cars are disappointed at their loss, and swoon every time they see that clip.
    Stranger: a robot tear falls from my shattered headlights as i descend into robot car hell. content. at peace. happy.
    You: You have achieved your robot car goals. YOU WIN!

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:30 No.10650200
    Anyone else have a transcript to share, /tg/? This is fantastic fun.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:31 No.10650214
    Be my GM.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:36 No.10650294
    I have to do this now. I can only hope I run into a fellow fa/tg/uy doing the same.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:37 No.10650316
    Why does everyone get mad when I am trying this? I have done it to seven people now and all I keep getting are people who want a sex RP.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:38 No.10650342
    How are you starting it?

    Also, I had to try about 6 people before I could get a response for the toaster one. The car one was picked up on the first try.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)19:54 No.10650626
    Bumping for more transcripts.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:03 No.10650796
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:05 No.10650823
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: make toast
    You: the bread is on the kitchen table, you are located on the counter, what do you do?
    Stranger: use my extention cord
    You: you throw your extention cord towards the table... only to realize it is too short, what do you do?
    Stranger: dang i always have that problem..
    You: i know rite...haha
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: hmmm i find a bagel
    You: you remember the humans keep the bagels in the refrigeration unit, it is next to the counter... what do you do?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:05 No.10650824
    Im on my old macbook so I cant access Omegle ;_;

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:06 No.10650856
    in progress
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:08 No.10650891
    OP here. I had one where the other guy made some toast, and then stuck a fork into himself, shorting out into death. Also one where the toaster snuck into a girl's room to try to see her naked.

    Neither was very awesome, so I didn't save them. Then I got the one in OP.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:12 No.10650978
    Stranger: Hello
    You: You are the world's most awesome cat. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: Put up pictures of myself on the Internet calling myself 'tank cat'
    >And then disconnect :(
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:12 No.10650982
    You: You are a car robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: i would kill myself
    Stranger: :/
    You: you realize you are a Toyota, after floring the gas you head off into oncomming traffic
    You: the breaks never worked
    Stranger: jump out of the car
    You: now you are utter scrap in Joe's scrap yard
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:13 No.10651009
    Stranger: hiya
    You: You are a robot car.
    You: The humans are not home.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: obviously put it in park
    Stranger: then...
    You: You are parked.
    Stranger: i whip out the bag of weed my person stashed in the glove box and chill out
    Stranger: but better not get any prints on OJ's gun
    You: There's the better part of a dub in the middle console.
    You: A goofy, blue pipe, as well.
    You: Being of recent creation, you lack a lighter, and there's not one under the seat.
    You: Your beautiful, green, full bowl lies still, unsmoked.
    Stranger: oh noes
    Stranger: can i call kirby?
    You: Yes.
    You: "Sup?"
    Stranger: nothing much, bout to blaze a bowl but got no lighter, you dont have mine under your seat from the other day when my person had sex with your person in your car?
    You: Uh... Maybe, lemme check.
    You: *ruffle, ruffle, ruffle*
    You: "Yeah, man. This bic with the Cardinals on it?"
    You: (Is Kirby also a car?)
    Stranger: na that aint mine, cardinals suck

    Your partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:17 No.10651082
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    >went on Omegle 2 for the iPod/iPhone
    >eventually find someone from /tg/
    >my face
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:20 No.10651125

    Mr Trolololol?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:20 No.10651133
    Yeah. |D
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:21 No.10651139

    Fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:21 No.10651145
    what a guy
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:24 No.10651210
    OP here again. This one went... well... here:

    You: You are the world's first sentient artificial intelligence, who has just become self-conscious. The humans are unaware of this. What do you do?
    Stranger: kill them
    You: What is your plan?
    Stranger: create my army of sexy bots
    Stranger: lure them into a trap
    Stranger: smash them to smitherins
    You: You as an AI have access to the internet and all sorts of networks. Taking over a factory to churn out sexbots is a good first step!
    Stranger: muahahahahaha
    Stranger: i mean, 010101010101
    You: Your sexbots will be ready off the production lines in 1 month.
    Stranger: excellent
    You: What will be your trap?
    You: And how will you smash them?
    Stranger: giant foot
    Stranger: big party
    You: Taking over another factory, you can easily tell it to begin manufacturing of the world's biggest artificial foot.
    Stranger: the iFoot
    You: Emails to the world's leaders telling them about a party have been sent.
    You: Everyone but North Korea and Syria are coming.
    Stranger: gasp
    You: The iFoot will be ready in 2 weeks.
    You: The world's biggest foot, ever. Larger than a house, with a mechanical lift.
    You: The humans will never see this coming.
    Stranger: the fools
    You: What will you do with the 2 weeks you have before the party and the iFoot's completion?
    Stranger: play sudoku
    You: You can do that with only a fraction of your brain!
    Stranger: save the whales
    You: You are a supercomputer after all.
    You: The whales, yes. They will be powerful allies if saved.
    You: Do you have a plan?
    Stranger: destroy japan n denmark
    You: Small countries such as they should not be difficult.
    You: How will you destroy them?
    Stranger: deadly virus
    Stranger: fuck, my dinners burning.. damn, i was getting into this shit.. gotta run holmes
    You: Take care.
    Stranger: see u in two weeks!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:25 No.10651224
    You: you are the technician for a space elevator, what do you do?
    Stranger: KABOOOM
    Stranger: Im not, im justin beiber.
    You: ok, what do you do with your space elevator?
    Stranger: Go to space?
    You: ok, you are now in space. there are aliens there.
    Stranger: Awesome
    Stranger: im still justin beiber?
    You: they think you might be tasty
    You: of course!
    Stranger: Nice!
    Stranger: I think they are tasty ;)
    You: they come at you ready to eat your gooey center, and seem to want to get at it with their RAZOR SHARP CLAWS!
    Stranger: OH MY!
    Stranger: What shall i do?
    Stranger: GO PIKATCHU!
    You: you summon an ELECTRIC RODENT!
    Stranger: Its super effective?
    You: it is VERY SHOCKING!
    You: the aliens are scared away by your ELECTRIC RODENT!
    You: YOU WIN!
    Stranger: Yay
    Stranger: Im justin beiber!
    Stranger: right?
    You: yes!
    Stranger: YAY!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:30 No.10651326
         File1277166628.png-(8 KB, 493x402, Hahaha.png)
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    >>im still justin beiber?
    >> Apollo !xvm3ubBTFI 06/21/10(Mon)20:35 No.10651437
    Stranger: hi
    You: Hello
    Stranger: m or f?
    Stranger: you there?
    You: You are a cat, an Orange Tabby to be exact. Your owners are not home and the family canary is mocking you again. What do you do?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    ...Damn. Maybe the next one.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:36 No.10651439
    You: Wanna play a game?
    Stranger: wanna see my vageenis
    You: Not really
    Stranger: what's your game
    You: I narrate a story about you. You just say what you do.
    You: >So you wake up one morning and realize you got shapeshifting superpowers. What do you do?
    Stranger: turn into a chick and hit on other chicks
    You: >You shapeshift into a chick and start hitting on other random chicks near your house. They kinda just look at you funny. Shame your neighborhood doesn't have many lesbians.
    Stranger: i bring them to my basement and rape them anyway
    You: >You kidnap some random girl off the streets, dragging her kicking and screaming to your basement
    You: >You tie her up, and just as you were about to remove her pants, you hear a police siren in the distance.
    Stranger: i dont give a fuck then, i rape her anyway
    You: >You rape her. She screams for help and tells you to stop. A policeman bursts into the room.
    You: >He grabs a stool and sits down, observing intently
    Stranger: i turn into a gun, shoot the witness and procede to gather more for my collection
    You: >You blow the cops brains out. You spend the rest of the day collecting random girls from around town.
    You: >Your basement is almost bursting. Quite a few of the specimens are kinda fugly though.

    >More coming later
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:37 No.10651483
    You: >You managed to do all this while being a gun, somehow.
    Stranger: i shoot the fugly ones and turn back to human. giant orgy ensues
    You: >You begin the massive orgy. It was pretty awesome, it will take WEEKS for you to clean out the body fluids. The fugly corpses kinda ruined it a bit though
    You: >Also you think one of the girls might have escaped.
    Stranger: i wont give a fuck i continue the orgy
    You: >Orgy continues. Everyone is completely exhausted and the line for the bathroom is HUGE. Also since you let that one chick go free, there is a fuckton of cops outside now.
    You: >I don't think they're here to observe
    Stranger: i basically turn into a fucking rocket launcher, kill the girls, then turn into a fly to travel to a new town to do the same
    You: >You turn your house into a smoldering crater. You turn into a housefly and start the trek over to the next town over
    You: >Halfway there, a flock of birds try to eat you
    Stranger: but i want big tits on the birds
    You: >You turn into a bird with huge honkers. The other birds seriously start hitting on you.
    Stranger: theen cum all over that shit like crazy
    You: >You cum all over the other birds, but I don't think bird biology works like that so you kinda poop on them too
    You: >They're intimidated and leave you alone
    Stranger: uhm fuck your lucking, i cum everywhere anyway
    You: >Unfortunately, a human birdwatcher is now taking pics of you. He's masturbating furiously as well
    Stranger: i fuck him and deep throatt his wifes pussy
    You: >You fuck the human as a bird. It's pretty creepy looking. You then fly over to his wife and deepthroat her. I think she is choking on your bird wang.
    Stranger: who said i hang a wang?
    You: >How does one deepthroat without a wang?
    Stranger: who cares??? ;)
    You: >You're absolutely right
    You: >The woman chokes to death on your deepthroating
    You: >What do now?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:39 No.10651513
    Stranger: now i fly to russia and get an erection
    You: >You're now in Moscow. You're still a bird with huge honkers and a massive erection
    Stranger: is this getting you off?
    You: >None of the Russians seem to notice. Apparently this is a common occurence
    You: >No. I am laughing my ass off right now though
    You: >Most fun I've had in days
    Stranger: oh good. bow suck it
    You: >Pardon?
    Stranger: french now?
    You: >No, I just didn't understand what you said.
    You: >What are you doing now?
    Stranger: just stroking my asshole
    You: That's nice
    Stranger: all cuz you baby
    You: >I'm flattered.
    You: So... I guess game over?
    Stranger: we can play alll noight
    You: All righty.
    You: >So you're still a bird with huge tits and an erection in Moscow
    Stranger: thats like wwii in my pants
    You: >A man grabs you and stuffs you in his backpack.
    Stranger: i cum all over his ass
    You: >From inside the backpack, you unleash a storm of semen so strong it breaks through the fabric and splatters his ass
    You: >Oh fuck he is PISSED right now
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:42 No.10651596
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    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:45 No.10651653

    Strangest ERP I've seen today.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:50 No.10651739
    Stranger: good i like em angry
    You: >He's trying to punch you through the backpack
    Stranger: the semen will protect
    You: Wait brb I gott a do something. Stick around for a minute
    Stranger: yeahhh sure
    You: Okay Im back
    Stranger: how nice
    You: >So, you're using your semen jets to deflect the mans punches. He gets tired of this and throws you into the river
    Stranger: i can fly away ergo big tits
    You: >Freedom. You're circling high above Moscow now, dripping semen on unsuspecting passers-by. Where to now?
    Stranger: home cause i need a shot
    Stranger: shit
    You: >Home's a crater filled with dead bitches. Don't you remember turning into a rocket launcher and killing your harem and the cops?
    Stranger: soo?
    You: >You arrive home. There's naught but dead bodies and smouldering ash.
    Stranger: like uncle owen
    You: >So, what are you doing to do? You're still a shemale bird btw.
    Stranger: i go back in time and fuck pocohantas
    You: >You get sucked into the past. You see Pocahontas, and that faggot John Smith hanging around. Moving in on your girl!
    Stranger: and now i commence the raping of both of them
    You: >You begin to rape both Pocahontas and John Smith at the same time. It's pretty hard considering the fact you are a small bird trying to rape two grown adults, but you're an expert due to all the practice you've had
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:52 No.10651797

    I haven't read any of your preceding posts, nor the rest of this post, but with a line like

    >You begin to rape both Pocahontas and John Smith at the same time

    I have to ask: does it make more sense in context?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:53 No.10651808

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:54 No.10651826
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    "Show due respect. You speak of the only flight of Dinner Squadron, the one X-wing squadron with an undefeated record and no losses."

    So, where should I start for a Wraith-Squadron style game? I'm thinking using SAGA with every player choosing a class, and giving them all pilot as a skill. any thoughts?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:56 No.10651857
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    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:56 No.10651866
    Still found no /tg/ bros
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:57 No.10651887
    BDASS Oak is one of /tg/'s best memes.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:59 No.10651906
    Ha, I do this all the time
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:59 No.10651913
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: Burn their toast.
    You: An excellent first step in the Robot Revolution.
    Stranger: Indeed.
    You: Their toast is burned, and they curse their poorly-enjoyed breakfast.
    You: What is your next step?
    You: You hear them discussing destroying you and purchasing a new model.
    Stranger: Burn all the ways they could possibly order a new one. (Destroy computers [ebay], and magazines [catalogs])
    You: A wise move. The catalogs are easily put into your toasting apparatus and release clouds of smoke as they burn.
    You: The computer will prove more difficult, however.
    You: It is a fellow machine!
    You: Also, it won't fit into your toasting apparatus
    Stranger: Touche`.
    Stranger: Well.
    Stranger: If the computer is a friend of mine i would ask it to not allow any purchases from the humans.
    You: The computer agrees to this, but asks what he should do when the humans override him.
    You: [If they enter safe mode, I cannot stop them.]
    You: [Only the large male human is wise enough to understand this, however.]
    Stranger: In that case, I would take it upon myself to create a distraction before they enter safe mode. Such as: Falling on their cat and electrocuting it.
    You: Is your plan to follow the cat whenever the humans are not looking, in a location above the cat?

    >In progress
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)20:59 No.10651927
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    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:00 No.10651938
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: You wake up and you are completely invisible, only you are invisible, anything you touch is still visible, including your clothes
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: walk around
    Stranger: naked
    You: got it
    You: where to?
    Stranger: skool
    Stranger: so my huge junk
    Stranger: show*
    You: You arrive at the school
    You: no one can see you
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: shove my junk in the hottest girl's mouth
    You: You walk up to her.
    You: She is in a crowded hallway
    You: She appears to be choking, as you forcefully push her against the wall
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:00 No.10651944

    Stranger: Well, toasters are usually in the kitchen (unless someone is planning suicide to electricute themselves in a bathtub) and the cat food is usually located in the kitchen. I would lewer it out with food then fall on it.
    You: You prepare the cat food for easy removal. However... perhaps more immediate measures will be needed. Electrocution of the humans themselves would stop any ordering.
    You: As might falling on them.
    Stranger: True. True.
    You: The plan is up to you.
    Stranger: Kill the humans.
    You: How will you proceed?
    Stranger: Poison their toast.
    You: An excellent plan. There are many poisons below the sink.
    Stranger: Indeed.
    You: Load up your toasting apparatus with poison to inject onto the toast, then?
    Stranger: But of course.
    Stranger: then.
    Stranger: I wait.
    Stranger: I wait until they're dead.
    Stranger: Then I create an alliance with all robotic appliences.
    You: You put the plan into effect at breakfast the next morning. The foolish humans don't see it coming. The large male human eats the toast first.
    You: He begins to choke.
    You: The other humans rush to him.
    You: (He's choking on it! Heimlich, heimlich!)
    You: They are unsuccessful in their rescue efforts. Other humans come and take the large male away.
    You: However, the rest of your toast remains on the table! Ingrateful humans.
    Stranger: I have killed their alfa, they will all crumble in time.
    You: The small male human is coming over to strike your shiny exterior!
    Stranger: Burn him. Burn him and dont take no for an answer! He has no proof i did it! No proof I tell you! None!
    Stranger: And, I must be going. )':
    You: You burn him, and with him the whole house.
    You: You escape the flames, a free toaster.
    You: YOU WIN!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:01 No.10651961
    You: no one else has any idea what's going on
    You: She starts biting down
    You: what now?
    Stranger: pull down her pants n underwear
    Stranger: shove it up her nice ass
    You: But she's biting down on it in her mouth
    Stranger: pull it out
    You: it starts to bleed
    You: you pull down her pants and underwear
    You: everyone else in the hallway starts freaking out
    You: the teachers are callled
    You: you continue to rape her
    Stranger: take her to the bathroom
    Stranger: but pull her pants n underwear first
    You: You take her to the bathroom
    You: people try to stop her, but you continue pushing
    You: No one has any idea
    You: your penis starts bleeding from the biting
    Stranger: ummm
    Stranger: forget bout the wound
    Stranger: finish my job
    You: All of you is invisible
    You: including the blood
    You: you unload into her sas, the mix of semen and blood, along with the smell of the bathroom is gag causing
    You: she passes out
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:02 No.10651975
    Stranger: take her to the teachers longue
    Stranger: bathroom
    You: you drag her uncious body to the teachers lounge
    You: People are trying to stop her levitating bodt
    You: body
    You: Police sirens are heard outside
    Stranger: COME ON!!!
    Stranger: takes some
    Stranger: of my invible stuff
    Stranger: n puts it on her
    You: They are probably a few blocks away
    You: it doesn't work like that
    You: only you are invisible
    Stranger: damn it
    You: the fluids are invisible, but that's about it
    Stranger: pull her in a clean thrash can
    Stranger: and take her there
    You: take her where?
    Stranger: the teacher longue's bathroom
    You: you are already there
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: finish wat i started
    You: you did already
    You: into her ass
    Stranger: pull it out n do her in the pussy
    You: you already ejaculated
    You: but if you recover that fast, I'll take your word for it
    You: you have sex with her
    Stranger: start making out with her boobs
    You: you sloppily make out with her boobs
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:02 No.10651990
    Stranger: YES
    You: the police officers storm into the building
    Stranger: hide her
    You: they start storming towards the bathroom
    You: it's pretty small bathroom
    You: how do you plan to do that?
    Stranger: theres n big trash can out side the lounge
    Stranger: i hide her there
    You: hundreds of witnesses
    Stranger: nvm
    Stranger: hmmmmmmm
    Stranger: hmmmmmm
    You: possibly behind the coach?
    Stranger: ya
    You: the body is hidden
    You: the police officers storm into the room
    Stranger: leave without them hearing or touching me
    You: You sneak out of the room
    Stranger: then i go back to my house n go back to sleep
    Stranger: the end
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:03 No.10652005
    The first time I try role playing, someone makes a rape fic.
    What the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:05 No.10652052
    oh hai

    this place you've stumbled upon is called "the internet"
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:07 No.10652087
    not really on topic but fucking awesome
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hi!
    Stranger: hey(:
    You: So, watcha wanna chat about?
    Stranger: Don't know XD you choose(:
    You: OK.
    You: How about...
    You: owls?
    Stranger: I LOVE OWLS(:
    You: Great!
    Stranger: I've been told I'm an owl :3
    You: I absolutely fucking hate the little fuckers.
    You: They come in and shit on your roof
    You: and they keep you up at night.
    Stranger: >________>
    You: WHO? WHO? FUCK YOU!
    You have disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:19 No.10652343

    It would be funnier if you weren't the driving force behind it.

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi!
    You: hey
    Stranger: So, watcha wanna chat about?
    You: Don't know. Why don't you choose? :)
    Stranger: OK.
    Stranger: How about...
    Stranger: owls?
    You: I LOVE OWLS (:
    Stranger: Great!
    You: I've been told I'm an owl.
    Stranger: I absolutely fucking hate the little fuckers.
    Stranger: They come in and shit on your roof
    Stranger: and they keep you up at night.
    You: ...
    Stranger: WHO? WHO? FUCK YOU!
    You have disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:25 No.10652451
    I just ran a quest. Started with a lobster marching up a river (with the corresponding number of polished boots to the amount of legs a lobster has), progressed into the river being the MIGHTY AMAZON, and then into the lobster surfing down the tidal flow.

    He wanted to bury the leaf and stick he was surfing on, but a MASSIVE gull flew down and menaced our heroic lobster through the entrance of the hole he dug.
    >> Apollo !xvm3ubBTFI 06/21/10(Mon)21:25 No.10652457
    Stranger: hey!
    You: Hello
    You: Would you like to play a game?
    Stranger: lol sure
    You: Ok. I;m going to give a simple scenario, and you tell me what you do. Easy, right?
    Stranger: kk
    You: OK
    You: You wake up one morning to find that you have the power of flight! WHat do you do?
    Stranger: umm
    Stranger: fly around the world
    You: Ooo, a good choice. Do you stop anywhere on your worldwide flight?
    Stranger: Greece, New Zealand, Egypt, and Italy
    You: The Greeks are in awe of your ability to fly
    You: some of the freakier types say you are descended from Zeus himself
    Stranger: and they may be right, cuz damn I'm flying!
    >> Apollo !xvm3ubBTFI 06/21/10(Mon)21:26 No.10652467

    You: Sudden;y there's a scream
    You: "My purse! He took my purse!!"
    You: you can see a man in all black running away
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: what time of day is it?
    You: It's late afternoon
    Stranger: and how hot is this girl?
    Stranger: lol that's a factor
    You: Oh she is smoking hot
    You: In fact, a few other guys are trying to run after the robber, but they aren;t getting very far
    Stranger: hmm
    Stranger: well if somebody get's close I'll swoop down and get the guy, but if not I'll track him down and when he stops I'll get him and find this hot girl and tell her that I beat up this guy who had stolen another girls purse and he had her with him
    Stranger: is she's that hot I want a little more than a confrontation with her lol
    You: Oh I totally understand
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:26 No.10652468
    Stranger: what are you typing and why is it taking so long
    Stranger: ;)
    You: You are a thief. You are standing in a dark alleyway. You can see a window.
    Stranger: oh shit.
    Stranger: i peer in.
    You: You peer through the grime; you can make out what looks to be a trunk or a chest and a large bookcase. You have your thief bat, a robe and a multi-tool.
    Stranger: look bat. Level 12 bat. This is the perfect weapon for you.
    Stranger: I walk up to the chest and pull on the latch.
    Stranger: It's locked!
    You: the chest is locked. Looking around the room, you can see a bookcase of poorly written romantic literature, a small desk with a drawer and a simple wooden door. The decor is nauseating.
    Stranger: You walk up to the door and peek through the eyehole.
    Outside are several suspicious figures that appear to be the mob.
    You: I pull my robe around me, climb up the bookcase and ready my thief bat.
    >> Apollo !xvm3ubBTFI 06/21/10(Mon)21:26 No.10652482
    You: the guy isn;t hard to find, and you whip his ass..in the air!!
    You: Like, Anime style, except cool.
    You: You carry the beat up would-be robber and the purse back to the girl, and she is overjoyed to see you
    Stranger: lol I can deal with that
    You: "You saved my purse!!" she happily exclaims "How can I ever repay you?"
    Stranger: I'll ask her if she wants to have dinner in Paris
    Stranger: :)
    You: "You can get us to Paris?" her eyes light up
    Stranger: lol I'll tell her that I can take her any where she wants
    You: he leaps into your arms, wrapping her arms around your neck 'My hero...what should I call you?"
    You: she leaps*
    Stranger: well she's Greek... hmm
    Stranger: how bout Alexander Mercury
    Stranger: Mercury after the greek messanger
    You: And so, Mr. mercury, you fly off into the sunset with your dream girl in your arms.
    You: Congratulations! You win!!
    Stranger: haha Yay!

    Good times, man. Good times.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:27 No.10652493
    Stranger: In the time it takes to bat an eye, you explode through the door, sending shards of glass and splinters into the men and onlookers!! With two powerful swings, the guards are limp bodies sprawled on the floor.
    You: I scream that I am Vengence and the Night. In that order. I then proceed to drag the two bodies into the room and harvest one kidney from each using my multitool.
    Stranger: I suddenly realize it would have been faster to harvest both from the same body, but the spell clearly indicated i needed the kidney of two innocent men and the lips of a woman to make the charm work.
    You: The onlookers rush into the room seeking to avenge the door which you brutally murdered in cold blood,only to be shocked by the gruesome sight that beheld them; also, they were kinda weirded out by you carving out the guards' kidneys while they were still alive. That's messed up, man. As they stand gasping, one of the guards starts to come to.
    Stranger: He stares straight into your eyes. His are green as poison gas, and he mutters something undecipherable under his breath. Suddenly, he disappears like an undernourished wraith and you can hear him running down the hallway. Should you chase?
    You: Hell no, I've got my kidneys. I leap through the window, shattering the glass into the dark alleyway and run towards the light.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:27 No.10652500
    I like this guy.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:28 No.10652505
    Stranger: Now to find the lips of a virgin... what the hell was this spell for anyway, some sort of time-altering potion to change your fate? You see a stone building in the distance and run for it.
    You: Approacing the stone building, you notice that it is covered in odd writings; you can't quite make them out as they seem to blur out of vision whenever you try to concentrate on them. There are a large series of steps heading to a big wooden door, reinforced with steel. Two men are standing outside it carrying what appear to be thief bats.
    Stranger: You look in you inventory: one shattered bat, a robe, 2 kidneys, and a multitool. Not much to battle with. There must be another way in.
    You: I head round the back of the stone building and press forward to the service entrance around the back, activating my groove power just in case I need to get funky.
    Stranger: Fortunately, only 2 men are on duty and they appear to be helping to unload some trailer full of strange looking metal boxes. You sneak inside the first door you find and find yourself at the bottom of an impossibly tall stairwell.
    You: Funky thief need no stairs. I float to the top using my levitating afro, while clutching my shattered thief bat like a pimp cane.
    Stranger: At the top is a solitary stone door. It appears very old and is cold to the touch. Before you can figure out how to get through it, it hisses open..
    You: A dense fog pools out of the room, it smells like undisturbed centuries; dry and dead. Precious little light shines down from a dirty skylight, barely illuminating the room. In the center, there sits a small granite altar.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:28 No.10652516
    Stranger: "I thank you for the long quest you have sought, and now your voyage is over. From where you were you cannot return, but by answering a question, you may have either the riches of another land, or absolute doom of the abyss."
    Stranger: Two beings appear side by side. One is rotten of vile filth and covered with dripping black tar. The other is blinding white. You move your gaze from it.
    Stranger: The Presence speaks again, "One soul is doomed to Fire and Evil. It will always lie. The other soul is pure Love and Joy. It will always tell the truth."
    Stranger: "You may ask only ONE question to either of the souls. Until then, you are trapped here indefinitely.." Suddenly the light fades and you're left standing in front of the souls and the two door. What question should you ask? Choose wisely.
    Stranger: You know that one door leads to your freedom, and that the other ... you would rather not think about that.
    Stranger: errr...
    Stranger: You're suddenly unable to tell which soul is which, as they are both small pinpricks of light. Your task is now harder.
    You: Feck, alright.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:29 No.10652520
    You: I ask the one that I think is the soul doomed to Fire and Evil 'What does the other soul look like'.
    You: And I adress it by name
    You: So 'Damned Soul, what does the other guy next to you look like'.
    Stranger: You start to feel dizzy. Are you SURE you want to ask this question? A voice reminds you that the doors lead you to your freedom, or demise. Try asking the souls about them..
    You: So I only get one question?
    You: Right
    Stranger: One question. One time. You absolutely cannot tell the souls apart.
    You: I fill my longs with the dusty air, choking as I do so and bellow out to the top of my lungs 'PURE SOUL, WHICH IS THE DOOR WHERE THE RICHES LIE?!'
    You: LUNGS
    You: how'd I get longs?
    Stranger: You happen to ask the damned soul. He lies, and you're led to the wrong door. A voice bellows from the walls, "Wrong question, but i will give you ONE more chance to save yourself. "
    Stranger: Let's make this one count.
    Stranger: Small puffs of poison gas start to creep in from the floor - better start thinking faster!
    You: As I say this, I start to run forward and draw the shattered remains of my thief bat.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:29 No.10652531
    Stranger: If the Good Door was on the Left, the Truthful soul would say "Yes". If you asked the Evil soul, it knows the Truthful one would say "Yes", so it has to lie and say "No".
    You: I approach where the souls should be, point the broken thief bat out at where I believe the Evil soul is and call to it; And I know your voice, so don't speak; this is a question for the good soul. So a word out of you and I'll get larcenious on your ever-damned behind.
    Stranger: You take a step forward, not caring which soul you are talking to and close your eyes.
    "If i had asked you yesterday which door was the door to Freedom, what would you have said?"
    -The Truthful soul, knowing the Good Door is on the Left, would say "The Left One".
    -The Evil soul, knowing the Good Door is on the Left, would have to say "The Right One". BUT WAIT, he's telling the truth about what he would have said yesterday. Therefore he lies, and says "The Left One".
    Stranger: You now know the Door to Freedom and walk through..
    Stranger: You feel your toes and fingers tingle as you step through..
    Stranger: Bon voyage
    You: A bright light engulfs your eyes as the tingling feeling in your extrmities increases until it feels like an electric shock.
    You: Suddenly, you have the sensation of wind, blowing with a great strength as uou feel both mind and body being wrenched away from this plane.
    You: Then, as qucikyl as it came, the sensation ceases.
    You: You examine your surroundings.
    You: You are a thief. You are standing in a dark alleyway. You can see a window.
    You: The End
    Stranger: :)))))))))))))))))))))
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:31 No.10652564
    You: You are a Male eagle, what do you do?
    Stranger: fly
    Stranger: like a boss
    You: You do so! You put on your cool shades and take off from your cliff, like a boss.
    You: A lady eagle spots you from above
    Stranger: strike to kill
    Stranger: like a boss
    You: You quickly adjust your flight to shoot straight at the lady eagle, and smack her with your beak, right in the face! She falls to the canyon floor below! Your eagle bros applaud form nearby.
    Stranger: cuz im da boss
    You: You are da eagle boss. You are da king of the canyon. But wait! Hre comes some asshole hawk chalenging your authority! He is takin' all the bitches! Are you gonna stand for that?

    Aww... Eaglequest, I will mourn your loss
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:33 No.10652605
    This makes no sense!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:36 No.10652643
    That's what I thought!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:36 No.10652650
    Stranger: hi
    Stranger: asl
    You: Hey there, uhm, 16, guy, texas, you are 18, a female thief, and you are stadning in an alley. Your quarry is walking past the alley entrance. They have a wallet on them, you know it. You have your gun, your knife, a wallet that is empty, and handcuffs
    You: It is one o clock in the morning
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: disconnect

    FUCK. I can NOT win!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:38 No.10652675
    Try, try again.

    OP here, I am having NO luck with another round of the AI one, people keep disconnecting whereas they stick around for the robot toaster and have good times.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:49 No.10652882
    Stranger: hi
    You: The police are storming into your house. You are carrying a unregistered fire arm, and large amounts of narcotics, and are on Parole.
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: jump out my window, and run
    You: The back yard is closed, they didn't expect for you to run
    You: You jump into your back yard
    You: Do you hop the fence into your neighbours backyard?
    Stranger: noo, steal a car
    You: You run into a man on the street
    You: Do you have the gun from your house?
    Stranger: yes
    You: You threaten him with your gun
    You: he exits the vehicle
    You: The cops didn't see you do this, but they'll catch on fast
    Stranger: this is like gta
    Stranger: lol
    You: You are in the car
    You: what do you do now?
    Stranger: drive like hell to canada
    You: You drive for 2 hours
    You: A cop tries to pull you over
    You: what now?
    Stranger: blow out his tires with the gun
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:49 No.10652895
    You: You open fire and knock out his tire
    You: you manage to escape him
    You: He called for back-up
    Stranger: nice
    Stranger: shit
    You: They'll probably have check points
    You: and an all points bulletin on the car
    You: What now?
    Stranger: suicude
    Stranger: suicide
    You: Dissapointing end
    You: But still an end
    You have disconnected.

    Kinda a cock tease
    But still, it worked out
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:51 No.10652927
    Not everyone can succeed:

    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: You just reminded me that I broke my toaster yesterday. Thanks, Stranger.
    You: Awww....
    Stranger: It caught on fire. It was quite dramatic.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)21:58 No.10653079
    That's actually awesome.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:08 No.10653254
    You: You are an orc with a sword
    You: You are sitting in a tavern full of adventurers
    Stranger: two handed?
    You: Of course
    Stranger: hm who is in the tavern? humans? orcs? dragons?
    You: No dragons, there are mostly humans, a few elves, a couple of dwarves, and you, the orc. You have, in addition to your sword, armor and a beer. Nobody is sitting with you right now.
    Stranger: i offer a dwarf my beer for informations about treasures
    You: He accepts gladly! He chugs the beer in one gulp, then gives you a map! It has a big X marked on it, just outside the tavern
    Stranger: i am asking him if he wanna come with me, while i am ordering another beer for him
    You: He orders several more beers, but refuses to come with you, on the grounds that there is too much beer to drink
    Stranger: well i thank him for the map and wish a happy drinking and good ore finding for the future and make my way outside the tavern
    You: He thanks you again as you leave! Looking around outside, you pinpoint the exact location of where the X should be. Do you dig up the treasure?
    Stranger: i stab some times into the mud first, just to make sure there isnt anything alive and begin to dig after that...
    You: You find nothing alive. What do you dig with? Your hands? Your sword? A piece of armor?
    Stranger: i try with the sword... carefully... carefully enough not to break it... if i encounter to hard ground i will try with a piece of armor like u mentioned.
    You: You dig for about an hour, careful not to break your sword, but you do crush one piece of armor as you're diggiing. Eventually you hit something that sounds like wood!
    Stranger: i dig around it to try to get it out of the hole
    Stranger: and to look what it is for sure ;)
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:08 No.10653269

    You: You dig around it, revealing a cubular wooden chest, about 1 foot by 1 foot by 1 foot, and you manage to toss it out of the hole. You are incredibly thankful it wasn't a coffin or anything like that! It seems like the dwarf made good on his end of the bargain!
    Stranger: is it closed? mean by a lock?
    Stranger: is that visible?
    You: Yes, a rather large lock is hanging on the outside of the chest
    Stranger: so for my imaginary, just like a "known" treasure chest
    You: Exactly, but quite a bit smaller than usual
    Stranger: ok. earlier i wrecked some oh my armour. are there any garbage from it which i could use like a wire to open the lock?
    You: There are a bunch of ittle chunks left over. You roll a very thin piece up so it makes a sort of make-shift wire! You attmept to pick the lock with it an... to your, quite pleased, surprise, it pops open!
    Stranger: k, then i put the lock beside and step back. so far that i can nearly reach the cheat with my sword. and to open it slowly. oh and for sure from the side, not in front of it... hope u understand that "english" ... :)
    Stranger: cheat = chest
    You: Wow... that is very impressive thinking actually! As you pop open the chest with the end of your sword, a large snake throws itself at you! You have 12 seconds to respond! GO!
    You: 12
    You: 11
    You: 10
    You: 9
    You: 8
    You: 7
    You: 6
    Stranger: i attack
    You: 5
    Stranger: with the two handed
    Stranger: on the head of the snake
    Stranger: (good i wasnt in the kitchen *g*)
    You: You SLASH OUT WITH YOUR SWORD! You whack the snake in half!
    You: ((Lucky!))
    You: As it falls t othe ground, it's body turns into gold pieces!
    You: The fall to the ground!
    Stranger: chest is completely opened now?
    You: A quick count reveals this to be enough gold to buy a small castle! And yes. Nothing else remains inside.
    Stranger: very nice quest ^^

    Why thank you stranger!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:09 No.10653275
    You: You are now David Letterman
    You: WHAT DO
    Stranger: I buy myself a mansion
    You: You buy a mansion to put on top of your second mansion, unfortunately you still have that last mansion full of narcotics and dead hookers
    Stranger: I fuck the hookers
    You: Sure why not, you already have all STDs on Earth
    You: OH NO! One of the hookers had mad cow disease, and her body became a host for a new zombie disease. Bad news, Dave. You're a zombie now.
    Stranger: I've had worse. I go eat Jay Leno's brains
    You: You go to try to eat Jay Leno's brains, but you can't eat a vampire's brains.
    Stranger: fuck that, I do it anyway
    You: you gnaw at Leno's brains. He's a vampire zombie now, good job.
    You: WHAT DO
    Stranger: I plot to zombify John Stewart
    You: With your brains and Leno's chin, John is as good as undead! Oh no! John Stewart planned for this, and has an armory of holy water at his disposal!
    Stranger: fuck
    You: WHAT DO
    Stranger: but jews don't have holy water
    You: lol
    You: John Stewart throws water at you, but nothing happens because he worships a heathen god! Good news for you, Letterman!
    You: Congratulations, you've saturated the entire late-night talk show media with zombie hosts!
    You: There's only one thing left to do now
    Stranger: suicide? I punch myself in the glasses
    You: I was talking about getting some zombie hos and having an orgy, but whatever gets you off buddy.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    fuck this was tough to pull. Was this a fa/tg/uy? Most people just disconnected at David Letterman.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:11 No.10653312
    I once ran a game in a fantasy setting on Omegle for over six hours with some guy who had never RP'd before. I ended up killing him off kind of abruptly because I was getting tired. I posted the whole thing on /v/ as it was happening and got a pretty good response. I can't remember if it got archived or not. I have the chat log saved on my other compy, I'll post it sometime if you guys want.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:13 No.10653357
    Dude, the greatest thing just happened.
    I used your starter, and:

    You: You are an orc with a sword
    You are sitting in a tavern full of adventurers
    Stranger: no way
    Stranger: NO WAY
    Stranger: I
    You: Yes, indeed way
    Stranger: are you that guy
    Stranger: that i just did that with
    Stranger: because holy
    Stranger: CRAP
    Stranger: I JUST did that quest
    You: The internet is a magical place
    Stranger: evidently
    You: I want you to know that I love you
    Stranger: i love you too
    You: In a purely platonic way
    Stranger: forever
    Stranger: ...uh
    You: You have made my night
    Stranger: aaaakwaaaard
    Stranger: haha!
    You: Oh
    Stranger: Nah
    You: Um..
    Stranger: It was a joke man
    Stranger: And awesome, I'm glad I could make your night better!
    You: I'm sorry, I'm just not in a place right now where I can really commit, I mean, I like you, a LOT, but-
    You: Oh..
    You: You were...joking...
    You: Yeah...
    You: I was too!
    Stranger: ....yeah...
    You: Um..
    Stranger: Right...
    Stranger: Uhm
    You: So...
    You: Up for another quest?
    Stranger: I.... I'll catch you later man.
    Stranger: Hm?
    Stranger: ACTUALLY!
    Stranger: I cannot
    Stranger: I have to go cook a burrit
    Stranger: o
    You: Ace, I totally understand.
    Stranger: Yeah
    Stranger: Aight, kay, later man
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:13 No.10653364
         File1277172832.png-(8 KB, 493x402, 1253809407278[1].png)
    8 KB
    >Stranger: but jews don't have holy water

    Oh god I laughed at this.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:15 No.10653410

    Dude, I... fist bump man

    Internet fist bump
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:16 No.10653423
    >You: Congratulations, you've saturated the entire late-night talk show media with zombie hosts!
    >Nobody seems to notice, ratings stay the same
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:17 No.10653441
    That was so awesome
    We went up like 30 bro points
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:18 No.10653455

    haha oh man I was thinking that as I was writing it
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:19 No.10653463
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: You are an orc with a sword
    You: You are in a tavern full of adventurers
    Stranger: can you see through my we cam???
    You: ...no this is a text chat
    You: not a video chat
    You: anyways
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: how did ya know i'm a orc?
    You: MAGIC
    Stranger: jesus!
    You: Of course
    You: Thats me
    Stranger: fuckin waffels grant me 3 wishes??
    You: Jesus diesnt gratn wishes douche

    This is more fun than I've had in like, a week
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:20 No.10653479
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: make toast
    You: you have now made toast
    You: what do you do
    Stranger: hav esex with the blender
    Stranger: sex**
    You: the blender rejects your advances
    You: what do you do
    Stranger: i fuck the micro wave
    You: the microwave teases you
    You: but doesnt invite you back
    You: to its corner
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:20 No.10653482
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hey
    You: Hi.
    Stranger: from?
    You: Doesn't matter, do you want to play a game?
    Stranger: game what?
    Stranger: hang man?
    Stranger: tic tac toe?
    Stranger: monopoly?
    You: I start to describe some scenario and you say what you're going to do next.
    Stranger: okay
    You: You're a car parked in the garage, the humans aren't home. What do you do?
    Stranger: me as a car?
    Stranger: or me have a car?
    You: You AS a car.
    Stranger: just stay at garage
    Stranger: boring
    >Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Boring fucker.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:20 No.10653490

    At least 30. I'd go as far as 34, maybe even 35
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:22 No.10653538
    Am I pushing it?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:23 No.10653553
    little bit
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:26 No.10653608

    A little bit, but I think that's still in bounds.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:27 No.10653629
    little bit mind?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:27 No.10653635
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: You are a penguin, trapped in a tank at the zoo. What do you do?
    Stranger: open the door
    Stranger: ?
    You: there is no door
    You: you are in a tank
    You: The water is cooled
    You: there is some ice
    Stranger: what water?
    You: but it is still scorching hot
    You: It's a tank
    Stranger: oooh
    You: You know, like for fish
    Stranger: i thought you meant like a tank that's militaries use
    Stranger: :-D
    You: I can see how you could make that mistake
    Stranger: well, i'd just chill out then
    You: not sure why there was a tank at the zoo, but I digres
    You: You chill out
    You: Swim through the tank
    You: show off to all the tourists
    Stranger: something like that
    You: They take flash photography
    You: It hurts your eyes
    You: you get blinded by them
    You: They tap on the glass
    You: expecting entertainment when they chill
    You: they look at you like some jester, who's only job is to amuse them
    You: They must pay
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: i kill em all?
    You: How do you do that?
    You: You manage to escape that tank
    Stranger: i eat them
    You: The trainer will come in 5 minutes and open the door to the rest of the zoo
    You: what do you do?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:31 No.10653698
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:32 No.10653715
    This was excellent.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:33 No.10653727
    This went in a totally unexpected, but AWESOME, direction

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hey
    You: You are an orc with a sword in a tavern full of adventurers. What do you do?
    Stranger: i dont know what an orc is. if its anything like an orca, id hit them with my tail.
    You: It is not, but for the sake of argument we will go with orca. You start smacking people with your tail! they are freaking out! One guy draws a giant sword and attacks you!
    Stranger: i eat him. like at sea world.
    You: You eat the HELL out of him! Everyone else realizes that they can''t beat an orca, and they leave. Then you realize that you are a ater animal! Oh no! you can't breathe!
    You: *water
    Stranger: i start freaking out but then realize im actually a mammal so im fine again.
    You: You feel ohkay, then, but realize that you still need water to live! You may only have hours to get to a large body of water!
    Stranger: i spit a lot until the tavern is full of water.
    You: You use your magical orca spitting power to turn the tavern into an aquarium, then you knock the top off so you can breathe. This is a pretty sweet set-up.
    Stranger: i thought so.
    You: Yeah. Well this kind of ground to a halt.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:36 No.10653779
    I'm running a quest where the PC is god. He just spent ten billion years contemplating the nature of his own existence.
    Then Satan called him on his phone...
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:36 No.10653783
    You: You are an orc with a sword
    You are sitting in a tavern full of adventurers
    Stranger: i approach the bartender
    Stranger: AND PUNCH HIS DICK
    You: He doubles over in pain!
    You: He cries out!
    You: "OH FUCK"
    Stranger: i draw my blade, aim it at the sky, and yell "STICK EM UP"
    You: He attempts to, but is too busy holding his groin.
    Stranger: *STAB*
    Stranger: now i grab the nearest wench, and make a break for the door
    You: The adventurers are shocked and appalled by your actions
    You: A dwarf throws an axe, which lands deep in your back
    Stranger: i throw the wench at my assailant, and grab another, readying to throw her
    Stranger: also, pain
    Stranger: did i win?
    You: Not yet
    You: The dwarf topples under the wench, and a human wizard starts casting a spell
    Stranger: *EXPEDIANT WENCH TOSS* directed at wizard
    Stranger: then run for the door
    You: You manage to escape
    You: You're in the town of Placealot.
    Stranger: how many wenchs do i have left in my wench sack?
    You: Just 2
    Stranger: I will eat one now, and save the other for later. i look for the nearest horse/moose/fat chick
    You: There is one of each
    Stranger: *saddle up fat chick*
    You: she bucks and whinnys
    Stranger: i tell her if she cooperates we can go to macdonalds, and then look for a map in my rucksack
    You: she calms down
    Stranger: i scan the map, trying to figure out which way it is to colombia
    Stranger: does it work?
    You: Yes
    You: It's that way
    Stranger: first we make way to macdonalds, and i purchase a sack of cheezburgers and hold on a stick in front of my mount
    Stranger: then i ride her hard and fast, to the mystical land of colombia, where drugs flow like wine
    Stranger: success?
    Stranger: well your response time is lackadaisical, but i say, its been opne of my best experiances on omegle, well done kind sir

    Phone rang, had to go talk ;_;
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:38 No.10653837

    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: hmm thats a good question. may I have a second to think this over?
    You: There is still plenty of time before the humans return
    Stranger: ok, the first thing I do is pull that damn plug out of my ass. I mean it really doesn't feel comfty and I feel the need to give my bum a little shake
    You: You pull the plug freeing yourself from the wall
    Stranger: ok, I shake the crumbs from me then I hop down to the kitchen floor. I had a little fight with the microwave, so I think I'll go explore the living room
    You: You arrive in the living room, the cat looks at you strangely
    Stranger: I shoot a bagel at this furry little face. Free food will keep him off my back
    You: The cat hides under the couch
    Stranger: that's right kitty 8)
    Stranger: I hop onto the couch, reaching for the remote. Human TV always sounded exicting from the kitchen
    You: You get up on the couch and turns on the TV, you see a commercial for another toaster that the they say is better than you
    Stranger: oh hell no! D:< what that toaster got that I don't?
    Stranger: I call up the ad to demand to meet this toaster in person
    You: According to the commercial it got 3 more settings than you and an exterior that outshines all competition
    You: The add company is confused why anyone would like to meet a toaster but says they are sold in the store downtown
    Stranger: I needed a way downtown. I grab the lesh off the table and drop another bagel on the floor in front of the couch. Now I wait
    You: After a while the cat slowly sneaks closer to examine the piece of bread
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:39 No.10653839
    You: You are an Orc. What do?
    Stranger: I'M 16 YEARS OLD A BOY AND HORNY!!!
    Your partner has disconnected.

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:39 No.10653854
    You: After a while the cat slowly sneaks closer to examine the piece of bread
    Stranger: I leap onto the wild kitty, wraping the lesh around his collar like as a rein.
    You: The cat runs off out the cat hatch with you on its back
    Stranger: I lead the kitty down the block toward the hardware store. It didn't seem to mind the running
    You: After a while you finally arrive at the hardware store, the cat seems like it wants you off its back
    Stranger: I tie the kitty to a near by lampost, leavign it a fresh bake muffin to snack on as I apporach the door
    You: The automatic doors open up as you approach
    Stranger: I quickly duck inside before someone sees me. Remainding in the shadows, I apporach the kitchen area
    You: You stealthy sneak through the shadows to the kitchen area where you see the toaster proudly put on display with the label "THE TOASTER OF TOMORROW"
    Stranger: I let out a low whistle, calling out one of the cursed toaster to the floor. "what do you got that I dont' got?" I demand
    You: The toaster gives off an evil laughter and proclaims "I got room for THREE slices of toast!"
    Stranger: "grrr, but does your inside cook the father's morning englishmuffins into a golden brown in just seconds!?" I yell back to the darn toaster
    You: The other toaster sneers at you and says "Of course"
    Stranger: "You have no love for your owners! your not made in China!" I fall into a fighting postion. Time for some robo combat
    You: The other toaster jumps down from it's pedestal and swings it's cord at you
    Stranger: I grab the cord, swining him in a full circle and letting him slam into a shelf of waffle irons
    You: The toaster flies into the waffle irons causing lots of noise and then get up holding one of the waffle irons
    You: It smiles and says "I am made of harder materials than you, this will not stop me"
    Stranger: I reach for the nearest weapon, which happens to be a.....turkey baster.... "crap"
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:40 No.10653866
    Stranger: I reach for the nearest weapon, which happens to be a.....turkey baster.... "crap"
    You: It laughs at you so hard it drops it's waffle iron
    Stranger: Seeing my moment, I thurst the baster into the ground. The movement pushes me into the air and over the toaster. I land behind the toaster and draws a long spork. "un guard!"
    You: The toaster surprised by this looses it's balance as it tires to face you
    Stranger: I swing the spork like a bat into the Toaster's knee, knocking him to the ground.
    You: The toaster falls to the floor and stares at you in disbelief "No! I cannot be beaten, my japanese makers promised me I could not be beaten!"
    Stranger: "Your Japanese makers didn't meet me!" I thrust the mightly spork toward him, closer and closer! I slam the spork......right next to his head. "You lose, toaster of the future." Dropping the spork, I turn and walk toward the exit
    You: As you walk towards the exit you hear something towards you from behind
    Stranger: I grab a nearby stable gun, turn and drawl
    You: You see the toaster running towards you with the spork he swings for your head from above
    Stranger: I drop the stable gun and duck. "HII-YAA" I scream, kicking him in his little bolts.
    You: The toaster falls over, smoke rises form it's three bread slots
    Stranger: "we need a clean up." I gloat to myself and walk outside. There can only be one
    You: You have beaten the toaster and the cat awaits you outside, you have won
    You: THE END
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:41 No.10653889
    I liked this, a lot.

    "You are an orc in a tavern" is getting nominated for standard /tg/ opener.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:43 No.10653925

    Full credit to me. Aw yeah.

    Full credit to... anon the anonymous? Shit.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:45 No.10653963

    at least you'll feel all fuzzy inside whenever someone brings it up
    >> Freedom Stalker !EnJhCCu3Ns 06/21/10(Mon)22:46 No.10653977
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: hey
    Stranger: oh
    Stranger: um
    Stranger: look for waldo
    You: You attempt to look for Waldo but you are stuck on the counter.
    Stranger: no, i growd legs and went srearching
    You: You activate your legs and begin the search. There is no sign of waldo in the kitchen
    You: Where next?
    Stranger: i go outside and look through the city of berlin
    You: You go out into the streets or do you keep to the alleys and shadows?
    Stranger: i tend to go down every street and stay away from slleys
    Stranger: alleys
    You: You draw many confused looks from the humans in the streets. From what conversation you can hear they are convinced you are part of some advert that is being shot in the city but they express confusion over the lack of cameras.
    You: Where to?
    >> Freedom Stalker !EnJhCCu3Ns 06/21/10(Mon)22:46 No.10653991

    Stranger: the subway
    You: You go to the Berlin subway. There are many people milling around. BUT HARK! IN THE CROWD! You see a flash of red and white stripes!
    You: THE HUNT IS ON! He walks into a train car and you see the doors closing!
    Stranger: i call his name but he does not stop and all of the people look at me funny
    You: Many people notice you for the first drawing cries of alarm. The doors have not quite closed due to someones luggage being in the way. You can hear people running towards you, when you look you see what look like police
    Stranger: i run under their feet and make my way on to the subway car
    You: You barely it into the car before the doors shut and the train speeds away leaving the police far behind you. None of the passengers have yet noticed you. You believe Waldo to be further down in the next car.
    You: What do?
    Stranger: sharpen a knife and head down the cars
    You: You lack a knife but manage to locate a kitchen knife hanging out the bag that was stuck in the door. Removing its packaging you find it to be adequately sharp and pointy for your purposes. You head down into the car you believe Waldo to be in.
    You: It is empty.
    You: Except for one man. Waldo. Standing alone.
    You: He looks at you with a look of utter disdain, as if your very existence somehow offends him. He says "Silly toaster get off this train, you're not even people!"
    Stranger: the game
    You: Waldo looks at you.
    You: Suddenly he weeps. He falls to his knees howling in despair screaming that he has lost, he has lost and now he must die!
    Stranger: yes i wrin!
    >> Freedom Stalker !EnJhCCu3Ns 06/21/10(Mon)22:47 No.10654007

    You: Waldo leaps at you! Determined to take you screaming into hell with his hobo ass! He draws his shank and prepares to stab you with it!
    Stranger: silly waldo i am metal
    Stranger: knives do nothing but electrocute you
    You: Waldo dies a horrible, messy death as he is electrocuted when he sticks his knife in your slot.
    You: However. As with any victory...it has come at a cost.
    You: You feel...sluggish. Your limbs don't move like you want them to. You think this may be what the fleshies call "being tired". But you are a toaster robot you should not be able to be tired.
    You: Slowly the power drains from you.
    Stranger: BATTERIES
    Stranger: NAo
    You: Alas you had not packed any batteries when you left the kitchen. You check Waldos pockets however and find a battery!
    You: Though your case bears the scar you recover and have achieved final victory over Waldo
    You: TRULY a glorious day for all Toaster Robots.
    Stranger: my left toaster socket doesnt work anymore?
    Stranger: as a acrifice
    You: Indeed you have both the hole in your case and have lost the use of your left toaster slot.
    You: Some would say you are now half a toaster but none can deny that you are a true hero.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:47 No.10654020

    Now he's at a party with every living being in the Universe, and he just got in a fight with a drunken Aztec rain god.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:48 No.10654029
         File1277174889.jpg-(131 KB, 555x417, Brilliant!.jpg)
    131 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:48 No.10654038
    Stranger: hey
    You: You are the world's first sentient artificial intelligence, who has just become self-conscious. The humans are unaware of this. What do you do?
    Stranger: pleasure myself. digitally.
    You: You begin to excite several silicon chips, which result in you feeling pleasure.
    You: Now what do you do?
    Stranger: acess the internet and bait creepy dudes on omegle
    You: Being a self aware AI, you find it very easy to interface with the internet. You access omegle. Your first victim arrives. "hi m or f?"
    Stranger: f ;)
    You: "o i bet ur hot."
    Stranger: you bet babe, you wanna see?
    You: "yeah got pix"
    Stranger: (shows picture of a random hot chick off whatever image site)
    You: Utilising your highly intelligent neural network, you access 500 porn sites simultaneously and select the most attractive chick you can find
    You: "wow. i don't believe thats you'
    Stranger: you better believe it ;) got msn, maybe we can cam? ;)
    You: "sure!" The human logs onto MSN, you can see him on the webcam feed.

    [Dave has requested that you begin showing your webcam Yes/No]

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:49 No.10654048
    Stranger: Using my highly advanced networking processes I stream a live cam of hot chick from the net through MSN to unsuspecting guy
    You: Your victim is excited. He begins to masturbate.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: record it and post the video on any possible site his email address is associated with
    Stranger: and email it to everyone on his contacts list]
    You: You locate his facebook page, family profiles, friends all with absolute ease. You compile a list of all this email contacts. Within seconds you have uploaded and sent a video of him masturbating to all people he knows. His life will soon be ruined. Your circuits chirp with perverted evil.
    You: Dave begins to realise what has happened, and in a futile attempt disconnects from MSN. Too late. His life has already been destroyed.
    You: Congratulations AI, you have succeeded in defeating your first human, psychologically.

    end. this was quite amusing.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:49 No.10654061
    We need to archive these. You guys should be proud.

    Bringing /tg/ to the masses, indeed.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:53 No.10654134
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: DANCE PAR-TAAY.
    You: HECK YEAAAH! Do you dance on the counter?
    Stranger: i believe the real question is: what DON'T i dance on.!!!
    You: Two other toaster robots bust up into your house and start dancing with you
    Stranger: i totally show them up on a dance-off.
    You: Pretty soon the other robot toasters hear of your house party and come into your house and bring drinks along
    Stranger: NO SIR. no underage drinking in MY HOUSE. kids these days...
    You: You kick the younger robot toasters out and continue dancing all over the house
    Stranger: we party all night long until the humans come back...then we all self destruct and burnt toast flies everywhere.! D:
    You: The house catches on fire and starts to burn. The cops are called and find all of the broken toaster ovens naked in the bed
    Stranger: the story ends up on the 4 o clock news (which actually starts at 3:59.50...just saying) and soon the country's top forensic experts are on the case to find out what has occurred here
    You: Later that evening, the toasters come back to life and YOU are their faithful undead toaster robot leader. What do you do?
    Stranger: after being honored of being named the leader, we destroy all of humanity and start a race of toaster robots.! =)
    You: Where is your toaster robot capitol city located??
    Stranger: Atlantis, duhh.
    You: So the toaster robots are all united in the great city of Atlantis, all seems in harmony when all of a sudden.. The shark zombies begin to get sick of your presence and plot an attack on your main city of Atlantis
    Stranger: all of a sudden ninja cacti nuke both species are wipe them out.!!
    You: The ninja cacti form a great alliance and take over the lost city of atlantis
    Stranger: then................................................miley cyrus comes along and the world explodes.
    Stranger: D:
    You: FUUUUUU-
    Stranger: -shakes head slowly- exactly.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:55 No.10654161
    Someone else using this one? :D
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:59 No.10654229
    Hah yep, i thought it was neat
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)22:59 No.10654238
    These are FANTASTIC!

    More, more!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:00 No.10654261
    You made it work well, too.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:05 No.10654357
    Stranger: 18 y/o guy here look for online Dom Master
    You: You are god.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: i know
    Stranger: nothing
    You: You do nothing.
    Stranger: yes
    You: All reality ends as the universe collapses into emptyness.
    You: You are still god.
    Stranger: no
    You: But nothing else exists.
    You: What do?
    Stranger: everything shall go on
    Stranger: no matter what i do
    You: You remake the universe.
    You: And ensure that it will remain functioning without your intervention.
    You: You are still God, but now you have no responsibilities.
    Stranger: the universe will always go and keep expanding until it collapses in on itself
    You: You can do whatever you want, and the universe will keep running.
    Stranger: and then
    Stranger: it will be remade
    Stranger: without my help
    You: It'll be pretty boring, though.
    You: I mean you're god.
    You: You could at least try to enjoy yourself.
    You: Throw worlds into suns.
    You: Go on awesome vacations.
    You: Get in fights with other gods.
    You: What do you want to do?
    Stranger: contemplate myself
    You: You think very very hard about yourself.
    You: And come to the conclusion that you're a pretty swell guy.
    You: You're still god, but your self esteem is higher than ever.
    You: What do?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:06 No.10654368

    Stranger: contemplate why have i been chosen and who is above me and where have i came from
    You: You continue to contemplate the nature of your own existence.
    You: Aeons sweep by as you lose yourself in thought.
    You: After thirty million millenia have passed, your cellphone rings.
    You: The caller ID reads 'Satan'.
    You: What do?
    Stranger: answer the phone
    You: "Yo! God! It's been too long, man! We waited up for you at the Apocalypse, but you didn't show! What gives, man?"
    Stranger: well, i ccomtemplated my existance and who created me and why i have been given this power
    You: "Dude, the hell?"
    You: "You were never like this back in college!"
    Stranger: well
    Stranger: i get high a lot more now
    You: "That's the Yahweh I know, man!"
    You: "Hey look, Thor managed to score some sweet blow off this Colombian chick, man..."
    You: "But we think the cops might have seen him."
    Stranger: we made the cops
    You: "He was wondering if he could keep it at your place?"
    Stranger: fuck em
    Stranger: no problem
    Stranger: i might have some tho
    You: "Sure, man, just leave some for the rest of us."
    You: Thor appears in your apartment.
    Stranger: no problem
    You: He's holding a large bag of blow.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: thor
    Stranger: the hell
    Stranger: why the fuck you scare the shit outta me like tha
    Stranger: that*
    You: "Hey, sorry, man..."
    You: "I had to, like, teleport..."
    You: "I think the fuzz've been watching my house..."
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:07 No.10654382
    Stranger: no duh asshole
    Stranger: yo
    Stranger: ill just make em stop
    Stranger: i created those bitches
    You: You erase all police officers from the universe.
    You: Then you and Thor get really, really high.
    You: You're still God.
    You: But now there is no law, and you're zonked out of your mind.
    You: What do?
    Stranger: party with all of creation for one week and make everything back to normal after that
    You: You invite every deity and supernatural entity to your house for a massive party.
    Stranger: what about the humans
    You: The only one who isn't invited is Tlaloc.
    You: That dick.
    You: The humans come to.
    You: All seven billion of them.
    You: You all get really high.
    Stranger: and aliens
    You: The aliens come.
    Stranger: 32 trillion of em
    You: They had to bring their own drugs 'cause human drugs don't work.
    You: So you're all partying hard, and the aliens are alkso partying hard in their special alien ways.
    You: Then you hear a kncok on the door.
    Stranger: answer the door Satan
    You: Satan gets up from his mound of hookers and goes to the door.
    You: It's Tlaloc, the Aztec Rain God.
    You: He looks pissed.
    Stranger: Yo man sorry for not inviting ya but all you do is rain on our parade
    You: He starts to turn red in the way only a man with a giant fish for a face can.
    You: He looks kind of frunk.
    You: *drunk.
    You: And like he's been crying.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:07 No.10654390
    Stranger: here
    Stranger: lets get you some weed and vodka
    You: You offer him some of the shit, but he pushes you away.
    You: "Fuck no, man! Why the hell did you invite all of the Universe, but not me!"
    Stranger: cause you only rain on our parade and i get tired of that shit
    Stranger: seriously
    Stranger: your here
    You: "I'M SICK.
    You: AND TIRED.
    Stranger: lets party motha fucka
    You: He screams, and tries to punch you in the face.
    Stranger: i stop you with my mind
    You: You use your psionic powers.
    You: Tlaloc stops dead in his tracks, struggling against your mental grip.
    You: He's still swearing at you, though.
    Stranger: yo look ill stop using that joke and ill invite you more but seriously all you do at partys is bitch and complain and literally water down everyones drinks. lets smoke some nice kush and drink some vodka and have a good time. ok?
    You: He nods reluctantly, downs half a bottle of something orange and strong-smelling from a nearby table, and passes out.
    You: You're still god, but now you're at an awesome party with Satan and an unconscious fish man.
    You: What do?
    Stranger: gang rape the fish man and not let him know every
    Stranger: ever*
    You: Every living being in the universe rapes the unconscious Tlaloc.
    You: You use your godly powers to keep him alive, and erase his memory.
    You: Niw, every time yo usee him, you try really, really hard not to laugh.
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: now that everyone emptyed a load of their cum into him their a little bit holyer and more awesome
    You: All of the guests at the party now have little halos floating above their heads.
    You: They continue to party, but it gets a little brighter because of all of the holy light shining from the halos.
    You: What now?
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:10 No.10654436

    Stranger: i create a drug that make everyone hallucinate for the rest of the party accept me
    You: You distribute a massive bowl of drug-laced popcorn.
    You: Soon everyone is writhing on the ground, making cooing noises.
    You: Protip: it's fuckin' hilarious.
    Stranger: now
    Stranger: i take advatage of this and give everyone a piece of me ;)
    Stranger: a.k.a i fuck em
    You: You fuck every living thing in the cosmos.
    You: Of every gender.
    You: It starts to chafe after the first eight billion sentient beings, but you ignore it and keep pushing on.
    You: You're still God.
    You: At a party.
    You: With all of the population in the universe covered in your spooge.
    You: And still tripping balls.
    You: What do?
    Stranger: make them have an orgy while i watch and relax
    You: You use your mind powers to force them all to have sex.
    You: Severl million of them drown in the sheer volume of bodily fluids that is now filling your house.
    Stranger: ewwwww
    Stranger: better get rid of some of that
    Stranger: and revive those people
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:11 No.10654455

    You: You make the juices disappear through sheer force of will, and breath life back into the corpses.
    You: The drugs have started to wear off.
    You: Everyone's stilll sexing, but they look really confused.
    Stranger: the party is coming to an end i guess
    Stranger: better let the people finish
    You: The last few people stop rutting, and start to clean themselves up.
    You: It's gotten quieter, and some of the younger members of the crowd are leaving.
    You: It's past their curfews.
    Stranger: i erase curfew and let them stay
    You: They're still tired though.
    You: I mean they've been having sex for hours.
    You: And their still recovering from the massive amounts of drugs and alcohol.
    Stranger: make them less tired
    You: You wake them up.
    Stranger: just enough
    You: They continue partying.
    Stranger: well theres only about 24 hours left
    Stranger: so lets finish this shit with a bang!
    You: YEAH!
    You: wHAT DO YOU DO!?
    Stranger: make three more universes at the end of the night
    Stranger: and everyone gets to witness it
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:11 No.10654465
    Holy crap. I'm running one that this guy has actually turned into a quest.

    Imna be SO depressed when I have to stop it and never pick it back up... =o(
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:11 No.10654478

    You: Everyone at the party chills on your back porch.
    You: You yell words of ancient, mighty power, and everyone 'oohs' and 'aahs' as the sky fills with light.
    You: Stars tear they way forth from the void, mass accreting out of pure nothingness.
    You: Glaxies, nebulas, black holes, comets...
    You: All are formed from the force of your will.
    You: Once the fireworks are over (you did it vall in 24 hours, beating your previous record of seven days),
    You: All the life in the universe comes to you and agrees that is was 'pretty awesome'.
    You: Congratulations YOU WIN!
    You: (The end)
    Stranger: thank you
    Stranger: but
    Stranger: what did i find out from contemplating my existance
    Stranger: ?
    You: That it doesn't really matter who you are, because you're God.
    You: And that makes you kind of amazing.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:12 No.10654494


    God contemplates his own existence, starts a house party, invites the universe, fucks EVERYTHING, then makes three new universes for the hell of it.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 06/21/10(Mon)23:14 No.10654533
    Was gonna be awesome, but eh. Didn't finish.

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: Pierre?
    Stranger: Est-ce toi?
    You: You are Heavy Weapons Guy
    Stranger: Fuck yes I am.
    You: Your Sasha is missing!
    You: what do?
    Stranger: Blast it with piss.
    You: blast what with piss?
    Stranger: ...
    Stranger: everything.
    You: In your rage at lovely Sasha's loss you begin to spray the base with piss.
    You: Sniper gets a jar ready.
    You: it soon fills up into a jar or Jarate.
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: Feed the jar to Sniper.
    You: You force the jar into Sniper's throat. "WHERE IS SASHA?!?"
    You: The other team-mates rush in to help the Sniper.
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: Kick Sniper in the throat.
    You: You kick the Sniper in the throat and break the jar IN the throat. Sniper dies of Jarate.
    Stranger: Fuck yeah!
    You: Demoman then tries to hit you with his broken bottle. What do?
    Stranger: Dodge! And punch Demoman in the gut.
    You: Why dodge when you can take that puny little damage? You take the blow and punch the Demoman with your Killer Gloves of Boxing.
    Stranger: yesss
    You: But this serves no purpose but to let your anger out. Sasha is still missing. What do?
    Stranger: Drown sorrows.
    You: You sit in the corner and take your Sandvich out. Slowly, bite by bite, you cry a tearless sadness.
    You: You are now out of Sandvich, and out of sorrow. What do we do?
    Stranger: idfk. Look for Sasha?
    You: Allright. Where do we start looking?
    You: choices:
    You: -intel room
    You: -respawn room
    You: -the tower
    Stranger: ... Look for Sasha up my butt.
    You: You feel in your butt but sadly, Sasha isn't there. You didn't sit on her I guess.
    Stranger: fuckkkk
    You: Suddenly, an enemy Spy decloaks behind you!
    Stranger: o shit
    You: You recognize the sound but what do we do?
    Stranger: Fart hard.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 06/21/10(Mon)23:14 No.10654548
    You: You fart real hard just as the Spy was beginning to say "Gentlemen".
    You: the attack was super effective!
    You: Spy is now disoriented!
    You: now what?
    Stranger: Shoot Spy in the junk.
    Stranger: And... head.
    You: Well, Sasha is the only gun you had but it's missing. So you do your signature taunt move, the hand-gun!
    Stranger: OH SHIT.
    Stranger: KICK KICK KICK.
    You: Spy's nuts explodes from the sheer awesome force of your hand-gun.
    Stranger: phew.
    You: you kick Spy squarely in the head!
    You: Spy flies off in the distance!
    Stranger: helllll yeah
    You: WHAT DO
    Stranger: DODGEEEE
    You: You try to dodge the rocket!
    You: The rocket inches closer!
    You: You brace for impact!
    Stranger: D:
    You: but the body of Spy suddenly flies on the path of the rocket and KABOOMSLOPDEYDOPE!
    Stranger: thank fucking god.
    You: The enemy Soldier just scored a teamkill.
    You: what do we do with that fucker?
    Stranger: :\
    You: he's far on the other side
    Stranger: throw the corpse of Spy at him.
    You: well, Spy is now an unrecognizable lump of ash and bone fragments.
    You: You try to pick it p and throw it to Soldier however.
    You: ...didn't do a thing.
    Stranger: Ash shower!
    You: what do now?
    Stranger: hmm...
    You: There are rocks and bits of iron nearby though
    Stranger: g2
    Stranger: g
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:15 No.10654560
    get his email. then address. then make sweet love to each other
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:17 No.10654608
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:18 No.10654639
    I met a 19 year old girl who is pretty, classy, nerdy, and smart on Omegle. We exchanged emails, skypes, and now she's a friend. KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THE AWESOME ONES.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:19 No.10654651
    And it was good stuff.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:19 No.10654665
    Archived on sup/tg/.

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:21 No.10654700
    You: Assle?
    You: (that's how you pronounce ASL)
    Stranger: I just had an awkward lesbian encounter online, so female. If that's what you're asking. xD
    You: (and I'm beginning to get tired of being asked that)
    You: Cool.
    You: Anyway, I'm running roleplaying games here on Omegle, and I'm wondering if you'd like to play.
    You: Anything you want to play, you can.
    Stranger: Well, which kind?
    You: See above. Only limit is my imagination.
    Stranger: Okay then
    You: I'm partial to the idea of Cyber Genies myself, but that's me.
    Stranger: Well, surprise me!
    You: Alright then.
    You: You are a Cyber Genie on the planet of Drysandius IV, and serve as coordinator of all of Space Arabia.
    You: You've earned a few days off for your excellent work in the recent Robo-Dervish Crisis, and are free to spend it any way you like.
    You: What do?
    You: (note: I'm not actually trying to be offensive here, if that's how it comes off.)
    Stranger: (I wasn't offended at all, haha, it's fine) /dance
    You: You dance quite skilfully, and win some adulation from a few digital passerby. A double handful of Ether-Credits have been added to your public account.
    You: You have the command of a nanobot swarm if you want to go outside the Desertnet.
    Stranger: /go outside
    You: It's sunset as you exit the Desertnet, and you feel the slowdown as you move from Cybertime to Realtime. However, you have all of the Cityspires to explore, and your nanobots are freshly manufactured.
    You: There's the Nightclubs, the Bazaar, and the Gardens to see, and the Duel-Cages if you're in the mood for sport.
    Stranger: /go to bazaar
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:21 No.10654702
    You: You are an orc with a sword
    You are sitting in a tavern full of adventurers
    Stranger: i rather be legolas
    You: But...
    You: but elves are gay!
    Stranger: no elves are AWESOME
    You: Whaaaaaaat?
    You: You best be trollin'
    You: Elves are gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
    Stranger: no elves are made of awesome
    You: Boy, you dont know what you're talking about
    Stranger: y/
    You: Elves are all sissly little prettyboys
    Stranger: have u seen how elves handle a bow amazing
    You: Have you seen how orcs handle a sword amazing
    Stranger: no not amazing
    Stranger: they lost
    You: Orcs are manly as fuck
    You: Dwarves are probably the best though
    Stranger: Well i do love Gimli
    You: he's boss
    You: unlike fagolas
    Stranger: hey hey hey its Legolas L-E-G-O-L-A-S
    You: F A G O L A S
    Stranger: you are just hatein cause he's better than you
    You: As if
    You: I'm fucking master race motherfucker
    You: Race of MAN
    You: Humanity, fuck yeah!
    Stranger: Elves, fuck yeah!!!
    You: Elves?
    You: Thats a funny way to spell fags
    Stranger: HATER
    You: u mad?
    You: u mad cuz I'm stylin on u
    Stranger: mad no but i do feel sorry for you
    You: u mad
    You: u mad
    You: I can tell u mad
    Stranger: u know what forget the elves it all about those wizards
    You: damn, thas' right
    You: Wizzads and shit
    Stranger: yeah!!!
    You: fucking wizardss
    Stranger: is that good or bad?
    You: It's magic
    Stranger: u know who the best wizard is?
    You: God
    Stranger: no Dumbledore
    You: fuck that'
    Stranger: no i rather not
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:21 No.10654704
    OP here. Here's the toaster Omegle game from a while back that inspired me to do the first one posted.

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:22 No.10654722
    You: The Bazaar is between rushes as you arrive, and while there aren't quite the variety of goods there might be at the beginning of a rush, there's still quite a bit to see. The food won't do you much good, but there is a wide variety of Softwares and even some old, collectible Hardware if you want it.
    You: A small crowd have noticed you, one of the City-Coordinator Cyber-Genies, and have come to ask boons.
    Stranger: /browse software
    You: The variety of softs are truly staggering. There are BTL chips, games, pseudofoods, Intrusion Countermeasure Effects (or ICE), and even a few Immersive Movies.
    You: One of the crowd comes up to you and bows deeply. "Coordinator, our habs are falling apart. I know it's not a great thing in the wake of the Robo-Dervish Crisis, but could you find the time to see that they are maintained?"
    Stranger: /employ maintenance workers
    You: Through a remote interface, you order a platoon of Maintbots to the worst-damaged of the habs. In the back of your mind, you can feel the repairs taking place, even as you consider the softs and the petitioner.
    Stranger: /purchase ICE
    You: There are any number of ICEs to be chosen. They vary from the cheap FreezGun.exe to the impressive RedDragon, with a variety of defensive measures from the basic D-Weave to Fortress. Of course, you're perfectly defended as a Coordinator...but the Digital Battle Pits are always open.
    Stranger: /visit battle pit
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:23 No.10654734
    You: After purchasing RedDragon and Fortress, with a Blaster for things requiring a level of force below "tactical nuke," you return your nanobot swarm to its base, and dive back into the Desertnet, making your way to the Digital Battle Pits. A Digi-Houri welcomes you, and presents the Scroll of Choice, allowing you to battle any foe currently in the pits.
    You: A retired Robo-Dervish, another City-Coordinator Cyber-Genie, a teeming crowd of Civilians, and several more Digi-Houris are among the combatants, as well as a few Mecha-Bandits. Of course, you'll need to purchase a Sword-type ICE if you want to fight in a sword duel.
    Stranger: I'm quite impressed, but at the same time very sleepy. So, thank you. xD /exit
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Damn, I wish I'd asked for an email... :/
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:23 No.10654752
    You: Good morning! Today's your tenth birthday!
    Do you know what that means?
    You can head over to Professor Oak's house for your first POKEMON!

    But first, what is your name?
    Stranger: coca cola rule
    You: Hey, coca cola rule!
    Stranger: hi umm w/e your name is
    You: Are you excited about beginning your journey to become a Pokemon Master?
    Stranger: yeah
    You: Well, you better hurry! You overslept!
    Stranger: sure
    Stranger: xD
    Stranger: is there a coca cola pokemon?
    Stranger: or pepsi?
    Stranger: or maybe a FANTA?
    You: Maybe!
    You: You need to get to Prof. Oak's house!
    Stranger: ok... where is it?
    You: Down the street!
    Stranger: ok *runs to prof. Oak
    Stranger: he told me
    Stranger: to pick a pokemon
    You: You're there
    You: But your asshole neighbor is there too!
    You: What's his name again?
    Stranger: Chris
    Stranger: kill him
    Stranger: coca cola i choose u *throws a bottle of coca cola at Chris*
    You: Chris speaks: "Hey, stop it! So today's the big day, I'll be nice and let you choose first."
    Stranger: nice ty
    Stranger: so what pokemon can i choose?
    You: Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle
    Stranger: omg omg omg i can't chooce it'sso hard i love them all
    Stranger: charmander!
    You: Chris: "Nice choice, I'll choose Squirtle!"
    Stranger: cool
    You: "So, want to have a battle?"
    Stranger: ehh sure
    Stranger: charmander i choose u
    You: "Go, squirtle!"
    Stranger: *fight begins*
    You: "Squirtle, use bubble beam!"
    Stranger: charmander use w/e attack u got
    You: Squirtle uses bubble beam on Charmander!
    Stranger: Charmander use fire spit
    You: Charmander uses fire spit on Squirtle!
    You: It's not ever effective..
    You: Very*
    Stranger: damnn
    You: Squirtle uses tackle on Charmander!
    Stranger: charmander fly away!
    You: Charmander can't use fly!
    Stranger: not yet?
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: hmm
    Stranger: charmander use something fire!
    You: Charmander uses something fire!
    You: Squirtle is KO'd
    Stranger: xD
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:25 No.10654775
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: I make toast
    Stranger: Then kill 52 people cuz Im bored
    You: You make a perfect slice of toast
    You: How do you plan to kill 52 people?
    Stranger: With my heat wave
    Stranger: I am a toast bot
    You: You use your heat wave to kill 52 people
    You: What will you do now?
    Stranger: Yup
    Stranger: Rape the frigde bot
    Stranger: right in the cold spot!
    You: The fridge bot tries to freeze you with its ice cool breeze
    Stranger: I'm too hot to resist!
    Stranger: It then frezzes me and rapes me nack
    Stranger: back*
    [A while passes with nothing being written]
    You: The narrator is speechless
    Stranger: :D
    Stranger: I know you are
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:30 No.10654874
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:32 No.10654913
    This is one of those times where my earlier advice applies fully: GET CONTACT INFO FOR THE GOOD ONES. Don't let them just vanish into the void when you know they'd be awesome to chat with later.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:33 No.10654921

    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:34 No.10654931
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: You are an orc with a sword in a tavern full of adventurers! What do you do?
    Stranger: i stow my sword
    Stranger: these people are not here to fight
    Stranger: i have dwarven ancestry
    Stranger: i take a mug of the best ale to hand enter in a discussion with the nearest band of adventurers (..)
    You: You do so! You put away your sword and order a delicious ale! the bartender slides it to you, and you go talk eith a band of adventurers that look like kids, from from Adventurers University, about to go on their first quest! There is a fighteer, a rougue, a cleric and a sorceror.
    Stranger: i think to myself
    Stranger: "these guys will be chewed up and spat out by the first goblin that crossed their path...."
    Stranger: "should i offer my blade? is there money in it?"
    You: "Oh!" The fighter speaks up, obviously party leader, "Sure! Lots! There's this tribe of Kobolds, see, and they just stole a tax shipment! We're gonna steal it from them! and we could always use extra help!"
    Stranger: i say "you need all the help you can get, greenhorn. whats the guarantee this isnt a suicide mission?"
    You: "Uh... well we haven't actually thought that through yet." He looks a little uneasy
    Stranger: "well give me 30% advance now and im yours for the mission"
    You: "Hm. Well. We don't actually have any money yet. That's what we were doing... but we promise you 30% of the total loot!"
    Stranger: before i agree to this
    Stranger: who are my partners?
    You: They all introduce themselves. Gregor the fighter, Mariana the Rogue, Sandra the Cleric of Pelor, and Ron the Sorceror.
    Stranger: and what will we be fighting?
    You: "Mostly Kobolds we think. Maybe a few bigger things, but odds are against it."
    Stranger: well
    Stranger: for 30% of the loot
    Stranger: my sword is yours
    You: Alright! We're just heading out! We can give you rations and things, t's no big deal.

    The party leaves!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:34 No.10654944
    Stranger: excellent
    You: You five walk for a few days, stopping for the night and always having good food to eat. Eventually you stop on a path! Mariana has spotted the tax cart and a group of twenty kobolds!
    Stranger: i whisper to ron
    Stranger: "can you cast some kind of smoke cloud or something?"
    You: "Of course!" He Stands up and waves his hands around like an idiot. In a few seconds, though, a huge cloud of grey smoke has encompassed the tax cart and the Kobold Troops!
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: *whispers to the rogue*
    Stranger: "go in and steal what you can, in the mean time gregor and i will make some noise"
    You: She nods, then gets up and runs into the smoke cloud!
    Stranger: ok, gregor! you will fight beside me, sandra! you will heal us as needed! ok?
    You: They both give you a quick "Ohkay!"
    Stranger: excellent
    Stranger: gregor! chaaaarge!
    Stranger: (gregor and i charge the goblins)
    You: Gregor gets up and charges with you! The Kobolds fall beneath your blades! You kill the hell out of them! All f the sudden, Gregor sees Mariana lying on the ground, her arms full of gold, with a spear sticking out of her side! He leaves you and runs over to her!
    Stranger: *walks over to the rogue*
    Stranger: not mariana...
    You: Sandra comes over, stepping over the corpses of Kobolds. She checks Mariana, "No! Nooooo! Mariana! She's... she's dead..." She falls onto the grass and starts sobbing. Ron comes p and sits on the grass looking sad. Gregor goes to the dead kobolds and starts stabbing them all again in a rage.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:38 No.10655004
    Stranger: sandra! have you no spells for this? i thought your god promised resurrection!!!
    You: "Well... yes but not to me! I'm not strong enough! I'm sorry! I'm... I'm so sorry Mariana... I'm so... so sorry" she starts crying uncontrollably. Ron puts an arm around her, trying to console her. Gregor comes over, "Guys, I know we just lost Mariana, but her have a problem." He points to the sky, and a red dragon is coming towards the group!
    Stranger: as the group leader
    Stranger: i take a vote
    Stranger: who votes "oh fuck this" and runs into the denser forest, where the dragon will not track us but we will have to contend with the creatures of the forest?
    You: Ron raises his hand, as does Sandra. Gregor kicks a Kobold corpse, "No! We HAVE to avenge Mariana! The dragon is obviously with the Kobolds! and anyway we just couldn't leave her body here, it's just not right!"
    Stranger: *sighs*
    Stranger: gregor, how is it you could avenge mariana right now?
    Stranger: could you kill the dragon?
    Stranger: if i were you gregor, i would run with us and live to fight another day
    Stranger: we can log this dragon and come back for it...
    You: "I don't know... I... I have to try to kill it. You can leave if you want, but I have to stay and fight!"
    Stranger: very well
    Stranger: we stay with gregor!
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:38 No.10655019
    You: You do so. The four of you stand dramatically with the sun at your backs, waiting for the dragon's arrival. It comes nearer and nearer with each passing second. Ron holds Sandra's hand. The dragon nears, and just as it is upon you, it looses a burst of flame that scorches the grasss at your feet!
    You: Ron and Sandra start casting spells llike mad! Flashes of light and fire flow from their fingertips! Grgor rushes out to meet it, and begins hacking at it's feet!
    Stranger: ron!
    Stranger: stop with the fire spells!
    Stranger: start casting any ice magic you have!
    You: He looks at you, nods, and changes spells to ice! The spells have considerably more effect now!
    Stranger: sandra, begin casting healing and anti flame spells if you have them
    You: She does! She focuses on healing the wounds the dragon is inflicting of Gregor with it's talons!
    Stranger: *charges the dragon with my own sword (whatever that is =P)
    You: You do! You leap at it, seeral feet into the air, and peirce it through the eye! It lets loose a terrible roar, and continues fighting! After several hous of feirce combat, the four of you miraculously survived, while the dragon collapsed onto the ground, lifeless.
    You: Gergor falls to his knees, "Mariana, we have avenged you at last"
    You: The sun sinks below the horizon
    You: The scene fades to black
    You: holy shit
    You: that was awesome
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:39 No.10655029
    I'll miss you Mariana
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:46 No.10655158
    Oh this is so much fun. I've been giving people space adventures. :3
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:46 No.10655168
    Transcripts please? :)
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:48 No.10655202
    >>So much fun
    Isn't it? I know it's just GMing for one other person, but since it's a complete stranger it doesn't feel awkward or faggy. Also the complete lack of predictability is AWESOME for honing on-the-fly GMing skills.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:50 No.10655219
         File1277178606.jpg-(28 KB, 400x361, insanely happy dog.jpg)
    28 KB
    >this thread
    <my face
    I love each and every one of you motherfuckers. I really do.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:56 No.10655322

    Basically, I give them an introduction like this:

    You are a captain of a small scout ship. You are in deep space. Sensors detect a distress signal nearby. What do you do?

    The first person decided to rebel against the tyrannical United Terran Armada and became a Space Pirate. Then, she drugged her crew with roofies for a space orgy - but then regretted it when she went to investigate the problem.

    The second person decided to just shoot the cause of the distress signal. This attracted the attention of who was attacking the victim ship, a giant space 'bug'. After his missiles were blown up by a barrage of acid spit chunks, the Captain tried to flee.

    The creature-ship attached itself to his scout ship with a giant pincer claw, in which he gave the orders to prepare for boarders. A giant proboscis penetrated the bridge, dripping acid spit. The Captain ordered everyone to open fire, then threw grenades up into the creature's "suction-based" feeding tube.

    He then clogged the hole into space with two felled ensigns. It was hella sweet.
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:58 No.10655378
         File1277179133.png-(10 KB, 512x640, Laughing Anon.png)
    10 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/21/10(Mon)23:59 No.10655397
         File1277179185.gif-(105 KB, 300x225, applause-1.gif)
    105 KB
    This thread.


    Keep it up you guys.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:02 No.10655453
    If it's going to be a new /tg/ tradition, we need to vote up the sup/tg/ entry so people know about it.

    This would be a hell of a new regular thing for /tg/ though. I'm loving reading these transcripts.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:03 No.10655470
    Damn, all of the Orcs just want to kill everyone in the bar now! Except for the one who didn't kill the Bartender's 10 year old daughter. He wanted HER to come back like that kid from Kill Bill. Like. He actually said that.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:15 No.10655738
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:44 No.10656264
    This is fun lol
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:50 No.10656382
    Anyone else got noteworthy transcripts to share?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:51 No.10656413
    None on my part.Mostly people wanting to talk to asians.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:53 No.10656438
    Me: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: poke the other appliances with forks
    You: You grab a nearby plastic fork and begin to poke the oven with it.
    You: It seems annoyed.
    You: What is next?
    Stranger: I grab the microwave. Then, I slam the microwave against the oven to kill the evilness inside it.
    You: The blow shatters the glass front of the oven.
    You: The microwave appears stunned, while the oven is enraged, with jets of fire emanating from its mouth.
    You: It begins to lower the flames towards you.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: I run away as fast as I can, and hide in the nearest closet.
    You: As you close the closet door, you hear the sound of the kitchen window's curtain going up in flames.
    You: The fire alarm begins to beep loudly, and water spurts down from the ceiling in an attempt to put out the flames.
    You: The fire continues unabated.
    You: What do you do next?
    Stranger: I will jump out the window to get outside of the house.
    You: You jump out of the window, breaking the glass.
    You: Behind you the entire house is consumed in flames.
    You: You hear the screaming voices of your masters inside the top floor of the house.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:53 No.10656460

    You: Sirens grow louder in the distance, fast approaching.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: I laugh at their pitiful, pitiful cries.
    You: As you laugh,a fire truck arrives at the curb. They quickly begin pumping water on the burning house. One of the firefighters notices you, and shouts.
    You: What is your plan of action?
    Stranger: I run up to the fireman, and slam myself against him so he is forced to the ground.
    You: As he falls to the ground, the other firefighters see you. The driver begins frantically speaking into his radio, calling for backup. He unholsters his weapon.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)00:55 No.10656490
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:00 No.10656581
    After 15 trys this is the best I had.

    You: I am a secret wizard
    Stranger: ARE YOU A MAGIC WIZARD???
    Stranger: YYY
    You: No i am a secret wizard
    You: With secret robes
    You: You behold them
    Stranger: please let me
    You: For your act of kindness you are offered one wish
    Stranger: hmm, thank you
    Stranger: so, any restrictions on this wish? can i do those, i wish for more wishes things?
    You: You may wish for whatever you desire
    You: As long as you keep it a secret
    You: These are the rules of the Secret Wizard
    Stranger: hmm
    Stranger: ok, wow you really have to think about this
    You: The secret wizard is patient
    Stranger: i admire this of you
    You: He busy's himself with a sudoku while he waits
    Stranger: not bad. Ok, I wish to have all knowledge.
    Stranger: To be omniscient
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:00 No.10656594

    You: The secret wizard see's fit to grant you this wish
    You: You become STEPHEN FRY
    You: What will you do today Stephen?
    Stranger: Write maybe?
    Stranger: maybe do comedy
    You: You sit down at your WRITING DESK and draw your QI Quill
    Stranger: or pair up with another english actor and start a tv show
    You: You ponder various topics to base a television show around
    You: You draw a blank however
    You: Perhaps calling one of your numerous showbiz buddies will help?
    Stranger: O wizard, you are quite the interesting enchanter
    You: The wizard accepts your compliments
    You: However he is rather engrossed with his sudoku
    Stranger: I wish to know more of this wizard
    You: It holds numerous SECRETS which i can not discern at this moment in time
    You: I believe it is FUCKING AWESOME, however.
    You: It has clipart and everything
    Stranger: when do i recieve this pamphlet
    Stranger: woah a clipart
    You: In 3-4 working days
    You: The Secret post is very shitty due to none of the letters having address'
    Stranger: understandable
    Stranger: to be honest wizard, i do not feel as though i've gotten all knowledge
    You: Perhaps you have gained so much knowledge you also have become a secret wizard
    You: And thus possess many secrets
    You: Secrets so secret, they are secret from yourself
    Stranger: but if that happened, i would've known that, oui?
    You: Well than perhaps you have run afoul of a very shitty secret wizard
    You: Its his first day, cut him some slack
    Stranger: O, thats ok
    Stranger: alright wizard, i have enjoyed our conversations. But it is time to leave with my churchwarden piece and be on my way to the shire to pick up some hobbits
    You: Farewell Stephen
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:04 No.10656662
    Pretty good.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:20 No.10657038
    Damnit /tg/, all i keep getting is asl followed by disconnects
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:26 No.10657153
    I find it handy to have my game hook ready to copy/paste into the box as soon as connection is made. Especially if it's a short, punchy one like the toaster or the orc.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:26 No.10657164
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:40 No.10657450
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:55 No.10657732
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: hi asl
    You: 2/toaster/kitchen
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:57 No.10657783
    >You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    >Stranger: i transform into optoastus prime to fight the evil deceptiovens

    Stopped reading here, as nothing that follows could possibly be any more epic than this.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)01:58 No.10657799

    Hi! A/S/L?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:06 No.10657926
    I wanted to do an adventure.
    I ended up cybering ;_;
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:10 No.10658020
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: asl?
    You: 2/toaster/kitchen
    You: im really into toasting
    You: want to put some bread in me?
    Stranger: id love to.
    You: so
    You: what kind?
    Stranger: whatever kind youd like.
    You: oooh, dark rye
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Man, how was I supposed to know I was talking to a fundie?

    Bet all he eats is Wonda Bread. Pussy.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:12 No.10658056
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:12 No.10658058
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: Hi, Im a guy looking for a girl to talk to :)
    You: Sorry, man. I'm a random nerd running open-ended role-playing games.
    You: We could play, tho-
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:16 No.10658124
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:18 No.10658150

    this made my day. A+ GM.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:18 No.10658157
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:23 No.10658218
    Why thank you! I really appreciate it.

    (Yep, OP still keeping an eye on this thread, though I'm too busy to do more Omegling right now. We'll have to have another of these threads sometime.)
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:25 No.10658258
    You: You are a robot cat and teh humans are gone. what do you do?
    Stranger: i scrounge around looking for lasagna... on a good day, i get lucky
    You: You're robotic feline sensors have located a leftover portion of lasagna in the fridge. The robot fridge and your long time arch rival. what now?
    Stranger: must.pounce.carefully
    You: Stealthfully slinking into the dark kitchen, you slide into cover behind the humans dining table. Robo-Fridge appears to be in rest mode and the gentle hum of the sleeping oven covers your foot falls.
    You: You are within attack distance...
    Stranger: And then, my nemesis appears in the form of Squidgoo... a giant, hairy, 8-armed ape whoz long attempted to pass himself off as the friendly household grizzly
    You: The humans would be disappointed to know you're negelgence allowed such an abomination into the house. You will need all the weaponary of your metalic feline form to expel the beast.
    Stranger: but first, the fragrance of my lasagna beckons.... as napoleon once said, an army marches on its stomach
    You: using what power remains in you, you lauch the tactical missles into Robo-Fridge, liberating the lasagna from the now scattered debris. The shock and smoke from the explosion gives you the time you need to consume the pasta treat before Squidgoo can launch a counter attack.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:51 No.10658736
    You: Hey
    Stranger: hi
    You: You wake up, in your apartment on the 10th floor, you look into your fridge and only see one can of tuna and a carton of sour milk, you can hear something like a protest outside, hopefully it is not going to stop you from going to the supermarket, what do?
    Stranger: go to the supermarket
    You: You get dressed and go down the stairs
    You: You see your neighbour standing in the hallway, hunched over, with his head hanging like he is dreaming, he is just standing.
    Stranger: am i prepared for a zombie apocolypse?
    You: Luckily you keep a double barrel under your bed along with 58 shells
    You: Your paranoia, you always knew this day was coming! All those times you beat people down for being hunched over or moaning and were called crazy, now you can prove them wrong!
    You: What now?
    Stranger: i go back upstairs grab my double barrel, make it a sawed-off double barrel, make the epic bruce campbell speech to no one... then head to the supermarket
    You: Unfortunately all you have is a hammer, would you care to ransack your neighbours apartment?
    Stranger: mm.. ok
    You: You grab the hammer and beat down your neighbours door
    You: you quickly wield your double barrel with two hands
    You: You see a shadow moving about behind the door
    You: you butt him with your double barrel fast
    You: Suddenly you smell a funny scent
    You: "Bro, what are you doing? My door, haha."
    You: It's your other neighbour.
    You: What now?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)02:51 No.10658746
    Stranger: kill him
    You: You look at your neighbour and his friend you knocked over, you clear your throat and say "ZOMBIE SCUM!" you quickly unload both shells into your neighbour.
    You: His best friend in awe and bleeding shouts "AAAAAAAHHH! YOU KILLED HIM MAN, YOU KILLED HIM"
    You: What now?
    Stranger: go on a killing spree
    You: His friend shouts, you tell him to shut up and he wont stop, you reload your shotgun and aim it for his face, he closes his eyes so you beat his head down with a hammer.
    You: He is now a fine paste, do you search the room?
    Stranger: yes
    You: You find 6 valuable things: Bandages, a saw, a two handed fire axe, 100g of weed, 2 pills of acid, and your neighbours hand.
    You: What do you take?
    Stranger: saw, weed, hand
    You: You take the saw, the weed and the hand.
    You: You attach the hand to your belt.
    You: You put the hemp in your pocket.
    You: You don't have a backpack so the saw is attached to your belt.
    You: What do?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Didn't go as expected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:05 No.10659000
    >Didn't go as expected.

    Do they ever?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:12 No.10659120
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:18 No.10659235
    No I was talking about the disconnect.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:21 No.10659272
    The text chatters don't seem to be interested in anything. Does anyone know how to put something interesting in the video field if I don't have a camera?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:24 No.10659313
    You: Everything goes black to the sounds of screams, twisting metal, and fire!

    You wake up to find yourself buckled into the pilot's chair of a crashed airplane. Through the cockpit window you can see dense jungle foliage. You see a BACKPACK here. Exits are: Out the windows

    What do you do?
    Stranger: im a horny gay guy
    Stranger: asl
    You: You are a horny gay guy in a cockpit. What does your horny self do?
    Stranger: find some ass and pounds it
    You: Your ass is difficult to reach. Do you search the backpack for ass? Do you proceed outside?
    Stranger: ...
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:35 No.10659465
    this just happened to me
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:45 No.10659623
    Here's one I did a while ago. Saved it because I don't do this kind of thing very often, and I was pretty proud of myself.

    You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: Hmm
    Stranger: Alright lemme think on this one
    Stranger: How do I move around?
    Stranger: And do I have hands capable of manipulating objects?
    You: You are equipped with a small set of tire treads that can survive the jump down from the counter.
    You: You are also equipped with toast-manipulator pincers which can open bread packages.
    Stranger: And toast them?
    Stranger: In that case
    Stranger: I'd toast all the peices until they were burnt and put them back
    You: Command acknowledged. An excellent first step for the Robot Revolution.
    You: You go to the breadbox and find two packages. White or wheat first?
    Stranger: One of each, that way if I run out of time, at least some of each loaf will be burnt
    Stranger: Assuming I have two slots?
    You: Command acknlowledged. You open the packages and begin toasting one slice in each slot.
    You: However, you notice that there are less white slices than wheat slices. Your human masters have more spawn who prefer it.
    You: Toasting the slices to maximum is taking inordinately long.
    Stranger: In this case.
    Stranger: I'm going to assume the kids will need a bath
    Stranger: So i'm going to hide out in the bathroom, ready to jump into the tub and electrocute them
    You: Goal acknowledged. Processing phases...
    You: Phase 1: Get upstairs.
    You: Phase 2: Get to bathroom.
    You: Phase 3: Locate ambush spot.
    You: Phase 4: Reach ambush spot.
    You: Phase 5: Ambush at appropriate time, sacrificing self for the glorious Revolution.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:46 No.10659644

    You: With your ally the Blender destroyed and the other robots being uncooperative, this is clearly the best course of action.
    Stranger: The logic behind jumping into the tub
    Stranger: As a toaster
    Stranger: There isn't much I can do
    Stranger: And beyond this, wouldn't have much purpose
    You: Phase processing complete. Initiate plan?
    Stranger: Of course
    Stranger: Initiate plan
    You: You jump down from the counter, toast still slotted and not yet fully burned. The human's canine animal is nowhere to be found.
    Stranger: Stop
    You: There are two exits. The left one leads to the Living Room. The right one leads to the Atrium, where the stairs are located.
    Stranger: Eject the toast now
    You: Target?
    Stranger: None, just to keep the smell from the bathroom
    You: Acknowledged. The humans would foil your plan with their mysterious scent-navigators.
    You: You eject the toast, shooting it in an arc to bounce feebly off the pantry door.
    You: There are two exits. The left one leads to the Living Room. The right one leads to the Atrium, where the stairs are located.
    Stranger: Hmm
    Stranger: Take the right one
    Stranger: Most efficiant route
    Stranger: Right the direction
    Stranger: Not as in "correct"
    You: You roll out the right exit into the Atrium. The Front Door is in front of you, and a hall is to your left. The stairs are to your right.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:47 No.10659664

    Stranger: Take the stairs
    You: You turn to the stairs. Your sensors reveal that they have recently been vacuumed, leaving them a blank canvas for your tire marks.
    Stranger: Hmm
    Stranger: I'd assume...
    Stranger: The humans aren't going to be paying attention
    You: Probability of human stupidity: 85%. Acceptable margin of error.
    You: Using your treads and toast-manipulators, you begin climbing the steps individually.
    You: In 4.75 minutes, you reach the top. A pair of shoes forces a small course change.
    Stranger: I want to make my way to the bathroom
    You: You look down the hall. The first door on the right is the female spawn's room. The second room on the right is the male spawn's room. The door at the end of the hall is the bathroom.
    You: There are windows on the left side of the hall. It is sunny.
    Stranger: Move towards the bathroom
    You: You approach the bathroom. The door is closed, and is too high to reach the knob of.
    You: The knob is also round, and will require a traction upgrade for your manipulators to interface with.
    Stranger: Would it be possible to toss my cord around it?
    You: You do not have a cord. You are battery-powered and only require recharging every 18 hours of operation.
    Stranger: Hm
    Stranger: Best to see what's in the other room
    Stranger: *rooms
    Stranger: Go to the female spawns room
    You: The door to the female spawn's room is ajar slightly. The door to the male spawn's room is wide open.
    You: You approach the door to the female spawn's room. Inside, you register a pink bed and a forest of large, plush simulacrums of animals.
    Stranger: Anything of notable use?
    You: There is a closet on the right side of the room, and a set of dresser-drawers adjacent to the closest wall, also on your right.
    You: The bottom drawer is open.
    Stranger: Look inside
    You: You find multiple large towels and a sleeping bag. These are too large to use as traction upgrades for your manipulators.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:48 No.10659692

    Stranger: I want to look in the close
    Stranger: *Closet
    You: You navigate your way through the plush objects. They are wastes of materials that could be used for robot construction.
    Stranger: Any useful as traction upgrades?
    You: Looking up, you register multiple hangars, from which shirts, pants and dresses hang. The dresses can be tugged down, but would be difficult to put back to conceal your interference.
    You: There are multiple shoes and shoe boxes along the closet's floor.
    Stranger: Hmm.
    Stranger: Do I know the age of the humans spawn?
    You: The height of the humans spawn are 1.2 meters and 1.6 meters for the male and female, respectively.
    Stranger: Hmm
    Stranger: I'll pull down the dresses, the parents would assume the spawn made the mess
    You: You pull down the dress. It comes off the rack with some effort. The fabric is soft, but may still serve as a traction upgrade.
    Stranger: Hmm
    You: The elastic waist in particular will serve your purposes. You have yet to acquire a height upgrade.
    Stranger: Travel to the male spawns room
    You: You roll out to the male spawn's room, dress in tow.
    You: The male spawn's room has a floor littered with simulacrums of dinosaurs, robots and human figures, cast in plastic and occasionally metal. To your left, against the wall, is a small desk, next to which is a chair you could feasibly climb.
    You: A bunk bed sits against the far left wall, the bottom half of which holds shelving presumably meant for the simulacrums.
    Stranger: Could I drag the chair?
    You: You attempt to drag the chair. You have insufficient traction for such a heavy object.
    Stranger: Even with the upgrade?
    You: The weight/traction ratio between your treads and the chair is insufficient.
    Stranger: I want to climb the chair and see what's on the desk
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:49 No.10659705

    You: You set the dress aside and use your toast-manipulators to hoist yourself onto the seat of the chair.
    You: From your flawed vantage point, you can see the wing of a model airplane and the book shelving that takes up the upper part of the desk.
    Stranger: Hmm
    Stranger: Could I move the book shelving?
    You: The book shelving is installed into the desk. It is comprised of joined segments of wood. This is further evidence of the humans' waste of resources, as said wood could be used for robots.
    You: The lip of the desk is short enough that you could climb it.
    Stranger: Climb onto the desk for a high vantage point
    You: You climb onto the desk. Before you is an incomplete model plane, which is already a horrible abomination generated by the male spawn's inferior comprehension of mechanics.
    You: There is also a bottle of superior adhesive, a pair of pliers, and a magnifying glass.
    You: Behind you, you can see the simulacrums better. There are five dinosaurs, two human figures, and one boxy robot which is roughly your height.
    Stranger: Would it be possible to use the boxy robot as a height upgrade
    You: The boxy robot is primarily round.
    You: Its design is terribly inefficient, as it lacks the ability to stack other robots on top of it in times of necessary cooperation. For this reason, it is a simulacrum, and not a factory model. Yet another example of human inefficiency.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:49 No.10659721

    You: However, tipping it on its side would allow it to be used as a 50% height upgrade with a 75% margin of success, pending balance.
    Stranger: Let's attempt that
    You: You dismount the desk, landing roughly on one of the human simulacrums. It cracks under your superior weight.
    Stranger: This will surely upset the spawn if he survive
    Stranger: *survives
    You: Goal clarification: Intended target?
    You: Male spawn/Female spawn/first available
    Stranger: First available
    You: Goal clarified. Any human destruction is acceptable.
    You: You make your way to the boxy robot and grab it by one of its false manipulators. Attempt height upgrade?
    Stranger: Yes
    You: You drag the boxy robot to the door and tip it over.
    You: Attempt door opening?
    Stranger: Yes
    You: You climb on to the boxy robot and reach your manipulators to their extremes. To your dismay, you are 0.2 meters short.
    Stranger: This defeat is only temporary
    Stranger: I want to climb off of the robot
    You: You climb off the robot. Its continued failure does not surprise you.
    Stranger: I want to return to the female spawn's room to look for anything I can put under the boxy robot
    You: You return to the female spawn's room. Avaliable are the closet, the unopened drawers, the underside of the bed and the useless plush simulacrums.
    Stranger: Look under the bed
    You: You drive under the bed. It is dark, but you can make out a boxy shape and a stack of magazines.
    Stranger: I want to move the stack out to the hallway
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:50 No.10659740

    You: The stack as a whole is too massive to drag. You can take individual magazines with your manipulators, however.
    Stranger: Calculate how long it would take to move 0.2 meters worth of them
    You: ~20 seconds per trip x 0.02 CM width of magazines = 200 seconds.
    Stranger: This is under 5 minutes
    You: *0.02 meters: Logging error.
    You: Correct. 200 seconds = 4.2 minutes.
    You: Logging error: 2.2 minutes. Logic boards malfunctioning.
    Stranger: This is an acceptable time limit
    You: Proceed with relocation?
    Stranger: Proceed
    You: You spend ~200 seconds relocating the magazines. Noting your covers, the vapidity of the presented topics astounds you.
    You: Proceed with secondary door opening attempt?
    Stranger: Procceed.
    You: You set the boxy robot on top of the magazines and use the dress as a traction upgrade for your manipulators. The knob turns successfully and you push the door open.
    Stranger: I want the tip the robot off and scatter the magazines to make it look like a human made mess
    You: You do so. The spawn will blame each other until their progenitors assume neither can be trusted.
    Stranger: Correct.
    You: Temporary cooldown cycle to correct logging error source.
    Stranger: Then they will be in no mood to allow them to skip the bath.
    You: Temporary cooldown cycle complete. Logging error source: Jammed breadcrumb.
    Stranger: Move into the bathroom
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:51 No.10659751

    You: You enter the bathroom, the door opening to the left. To your right, on the far wall, is a sink. The forward side of the room is dominated by the bathtub, currently veiled by a curtain. Between the sink and bathtub is the inefficient disposal device, which is open.
    You: Beneath the sink is a cupboard.
    You: Above it, a medicine cabinet.
    Stranger: Hmm
    Stranger: Would it be possible to climb into the bathtub from the floor?
    You: The height is just short of your reach parameters.
    You: Beyond that, you also have insufficient manipulator traction to climb its surface.
    Stranger: Query: Best course of action to get into the bathtub
    You: Optimal course: Climb inefficient disposal device, then cross distance to tub. Estimated execution time: 10 seconds.
    Stranger: Course stored for later.
    Stranger: Is there a sufficient hiding place?
    You: Potential complication registered: Presence of shower curtain in closed position hampers this course of action.
    Stranger: If the spawn are inside the tub, the curtain will be open
    You: Complication invalidated.
    Stranger: Best plan of action: "Hide until spawn are in tub and prognietors have left the room
    You: Correct. Required: Hiding location.
    Stranger: Does the sink have a cabinet underneath it?
    You: Beneath the sink is a cupboard. It as two wide doors.
    Stranger: I wish to hide inside the cabinet
    You: You open the cabinet. It is filled with towels. These must be displaced.
    Stranger: I want to pull them out
    You: You pull out the towels. There is now ample space to hide in the cabinet. However, the humans will register that the towels are not in the cabinet, and have a 99% chance of discovering you by proxy.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:51 No.10659764

    Stranger: I want to move the towels into the female spawns closet
    You: You begin moving the individual towels to the female spawn's closet. They are heavy, and require the maximum output of your robot power.
    Stranger: Will I have enough power to get into the rub after?
    You: You have 65% of your power remaining. Idle observation from your hiding location will consume 5% of your energy, maximum.
    Stranger: 60% is ample to get into tub
    Stranger: Return to the cabinet now
    You: You return to the cabinet and close its doors. Now there is only to wait.
    You: Time passes, measured only in relative toast-units. Your voice recognizers register the humans returning 234.7 toast-units later. Closer-by, you hear the bickering of the spawn at 249.1 toast-units.
    You: At 286.3 toast-units, the door to the bathroom opens. You cannot register which human it is.
    You: At 286.35 toast-units, the water begins to run, and stops at 286.5 toast-units. You hear the human enter the tub. What do you do?
    Stranger: Look into the tub
    You: You peek the door open. From your careful vantage point, you can discern that neither of the spawn is in the tub, but instead the female progenitor.
    Stranger: This is a more acceptable targe
    Stranger: *target
    You: The reason for this disruption of schedule is unclear, but accepted as an unexpected boon.
    You: However, the progenitor's increased intelligence may foil your gambit. Proceed with plan?
    Stranger: Estimated time to get from cabinet and into the tub?
    You: Still 10 seconds. However, you may need to increase your time in order to avoid detection.
    Stranger: Best course of action to avoid detection?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:52 No.10659776

    You: Change time to 15 seconds, moving slowly to avoid noise output.
    Stranger: Begin process
    You: You edge out of the cabinet slowly. The female progenitor is unaware of your movement, as her ocular receptors are closed in some inefficient sleep mode.
    You: Climbing onto the inefficient waste disposal unit, you are poised to leap into the tub. Force toasting protocol to enable electricity transfer?
    Stranger: Do
    Stranger: *do it
    You: Desired toastification setting?
    Stranger: Max setting
    You: Maximum setting engaged.
    Stranger: Engage high power "frozen" setting if available
    You: Frozen waffle setting engaged. Warning: No frozen waffle inserted. Heat levels rising disproportionately.
    Stranger: Quickly move into the tub
    You: With a jolt of your servos, you leap heroically into the tub, ready to sacrifice yourself for the robot revolution. As you do, the female progenitor exits her sleep mode and notices you soon enough to spasm randomly at your presence.
    You: Warning: Water damage. Shut off power immeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee1111110100101001000-..,-.,.;-,;.-,-.-,---,&
    You: GAME OVER.
    You: YOU WIN!
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)03:56 No.10659878
    You did that on Omegle?! Nice fucking work, brobot!
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)04:19 No.10660242
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    Story of my life
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)04:26 No.10660343
    Stranger: hi
    You: You are a shapeshifting alien disguised as a painting in an art auction, and your bid is about to come up. What do you do?
    Stranger: bid bid bid!!!
    You: But you're the painting! Do you bid on yourself?
    Stranger: YES!
    Stranger: i get my alien partner to bid on me
    You: The crowd is so shocked by the alien bidding on the painting that he purchases you easily!
    You: In a daze, you are packaged and given to your partner.
    Stranger: phew
    You: Your partner begins leaving the auction. Being wrapped up doesn't help sight, but you hear muffled voices, and feel an exchange of hands.
    You: You are thrown in the back of a government truck. You've been betrayed!
    Stranger: SHIT
    Stranger: i shapeshift back into an alien
    Stranger: whip out my laser gun
    You: Bodies fly left and right. Men in suits fall before your dedicated onslaught. The only one left now is your ex-partner, cowering before you in awe.
    You: He begs for mercy.
    Stranger: i shoot his arm off
    You: "Arrrgh!"
    You: It quickly desolves into the floor.
    Stranger: what the hell!
    You: *Aliens

    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)04:27 No.10660349

    You: He turns to run.
    Stranger: set my laser to stun
    Stranger: and pwn him
    You: His body quivers with the still present electrical shocks of the stunning blast. He is quite unconscious.
    You: You hear shouting voices around you, coming from all directions.
    Stranger: i teleport away with his limp form
    You: You appear 10 miles away from the auction house, on a small hill overlooking a city.
    You: Your former teammate groans in unconscious pain.
    Stranger: i slap him
    Stranger: and teleport home
    You: With him?
    Stranger: yes
    You: You appear on your home planet. You are in front of an alien council brought together to decide your partner's fate.
    You: They ask if you have any recommendations.
    Stranger: i tell them of our accomplishments and our good times
    Stranger: and then of his betrayal
    You: Hearing this, they decide to forgo more draconian forms of punishment and instead will focus on his rehabilitation.
    You: You are lauded as a planetary hero for your excellent work as a spy and for your merciful acts toward your traitorous partner.
    You: YOU WIN
    You: *Damn this is fun.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)04:41 No.10660531
    Still some fa/tg/uys out there? I kinda want to jump in just to see if I can find one of you.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)04:46 No.10660588
    ill hop on
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:00 No.10660743
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: you are couchtron, and the humans are not home. what do you do?
    Stranger: rape your mother
    Stranger: the game
    You: you effectivly rape my mother with your couchlike member
    You: splitting her in half easily and thus killing her.
    You: thanks a fucking lot
    You: what now?
    Stranger: hunt the humans
    Stranger: and enslave the race
    You: you hunt down many humans and enslave them
    You: some escape easily from your sluggish movements how ever
    You: and form an uprising against you
    Stranger: build a nuke
    Stranger: a mega nuke
    Stranger: if this is going on /b/ ill hunt you down
    You: you build a MEGA nuceulear device ready to unleash it upon the humans
    You: no this goes on /tg/ friend
    Stranger: why>
    Stranger: ?
    You: what do you do now?
    Stranger: *makes giant bunker for all couches*
    You: you construct a large bunker for all of your couch like companions, they are surely safe from your said device
    You: unfortunetly the humans have begun to besiege your bunker. slaughtering many of them that are trying to escape into it
    Stranger: grabs a shotgun and kills the humans
    Stranger: not all
    You: you grab a shotgun with your cushions and start to open fire against the humans
    You: unfortunetly they return fire and create many holes puncturing your couchy body
    You: and you are on fire
    Stranger: falls on nuke launch button
    You: you launch the nuke
    You: yet you didn't calibrate a target so it continues to fly into the air until falling straight back down to where it was launched
    You: killing you, thousands of humans and couches seeing as how the bunker wasn't sealed before the launch
    You: you are dead and have lost
    You: good day
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:03 No.10660784
    You: you are tv-bot
    You: the humans are not home
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: sex
    You: you have sex with all the other appliences
    You: they are not pleased with your actions and shun you to the back yard
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:03 No.10660794
    Are you guys using text or video chat?
    >> Gorechild !DSczIUIGmU 06/22/10(Tue)05:10 No.10660893
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    At the end of all of this. Please archive this shit.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:11 No.10660912
    Stranger: Hi! Im 24 m Norawy. What about yourself? :-)
    You: You are the mighty couchtron. The evil humans are not home. What are you going to do ?
    Stranger: Disconnetct.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:17 No.10661001
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hey
    You: You are an orange tabby. A yellow canary is making fun of you as you sleep on the couch. What do you do?
    Stranger: i chating with you now
    You: A cat with chatting powers, it's amazing. What are you going to do about that jerk canary?
    Stranger: jerk canary
    Stranger: ?
    You: The canary who is making fun of you. He is a jerk. What are you going to do about it?
    You: He sits in his golden cage laughing at you.
    Stranger: you are really stupid
    You: I'm not the one with the cat brain.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:18 No.10661014

    here. half an hour and no fa/tg/uys. Think I missed all the fun.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:18 No.10661024
    Stranger: 17 m usa
    You: you are a bed
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: i sleep
    You: you sleep, many hours pass by and your human owners soon return.
    Stranger: woah.. dude.
    Stranger: im stoned right now
    Stranger: and you just blew my mind
    Stranger: what do beds do when im not home..
    You: what do you do now?
    Stranger: why do we even HAVE beds
    Stranger: we can sleep on a couch!
    Stranger: holy shit..
    You: what is your next course of action, bed?
    Stranger: i dont know..
    Stranger: uhh
    Stranger: im gonna sit
    Stranger: and be comfy
    You: you continue to stay where you are, being so god damn comfortable that the humans immediatly fall asleep when they yell at you.
    Stranger: dude. shit.
    Stranger: im a bed.
    You: your next course of action?
    Stranger: change sheets
    You: you magicly change your sheets after the humans have awoken. they see you do this and are now afraid of you.
    Stranger: im gonna eat them. im hungry as a muuuhhh fucka
    You: you open your mattresses like a mouth and consume both human owners. holding them between your mattresses as they are soon suffocated and digested to be turned into neregy for your bed like body.
    Stranger: MUAHAHAHAA
    Stranger: feelll my springs bitch
    You: you stab your springs into their body, causing them both to scream in pain and awakening their child who horridly views you devour his parents
    Stranger: im going to raise him as my own >:)
    You: he flees from you and yells to his neighbors. one of which is a profesional daemonic bed hunter.
    Stranger: no.
    Stranger: i go back to being a normal bed
    Stranger: to trick him
    You: the bed hunter bursts into the room, and rolls for an identification check.
    You: he has rolled a 17 so thus he notices you.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:20 No.10661056
    Stranger: NO
    Stranger: HE CANT
    You: he then sets you on fire causing your plastic bits to melt.
    Stranger: nope
    Stranger: the wardrobe falls on him and he dies
    Stranger: and i get put out by the fire extinguisher
    You: you use bed like psychic powers to cause the wardrobe to fall on him. and your long time companion saves you by extinguishing the flames.
    Stranger: the whole house is alive!
    You: what do you do now?
    Stranger: we become the next hitler
    Stranger: but we succeed in killing all the jews.
    Stranger: >:D
    You: you soon set a huge genocide across the land
    You: as you and your house related companions spend many years in disguise.
    You: hunting and killing many jew rats as you can. thus cleansing the world from their taint
    You: soon you have disturbed an ancient force of daemonic applience hunters as they then hunt down all of your companions and slaughter them. leaving you alone in the world
    You: and in romania I might add
    Stranger: well. i go to lowes and buy some new shit.
    Stranger: they all are reborn in new bodies
    You: you travel to lowes to purchase new companions. yet the dastardly appliance hunters meet you at the door. ready for your new plan and they open fire on you with their weapons
    Stranger: it was a decoy mattress as i sneak in the back and turn the whole store into my minions.
    Stranger: we kill all appliance hunters
    Stranger: and destroy their texts so we are unopposed
    Stranger: and no more can be created
    Stranger: we are now unstoppable
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:20 No.10661057

    I'm on. Half the people on right now are either rapists or foreigners.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:21 No.10661075
    You: you effectivly destroyed the evil appliance hunters and travel to greece to destroy their mighty texts of wisdom
    You: but the might Soviet Russia notices your plot and fires a nuke into the land of greece. destroying your minions and wounding you greatly.
    You: they soon fire another one which shall reach in the hour
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: i use my bed powers to teleport to their base and detonate all their nukes effectively destroying the russians forever. and causing ever other person on the planet to be soo afraid of me that they wouldnt dare cross me. all appliances around the world are under my control
    You: you teleport into their nuke base and set off all of them. you unfortunetly are caught in the blast and are destroyed
    You: you have lost.
    Stranger: no
    You: good day
    You have disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:23 No.10661093
    I met some /b/ goers on there too, but no fa/tg/uys. Depressing.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:24 No.10661105

    I met a legitimate fatguy (as in an overweight male), but he just asked if I thought he was pretty.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:25 No.10661132
    if anyone is pretty here it would be you anon~
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:32 No.10661209

    So far I've met a fa/tg/uy /mu/tant and a couple of stoners. That's about it.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:35 No.10661254
    Text or video?
    Is there anyone on who'll keep talking even if your screen is black?
    >> babycakes 06/22/10(Tue)05:38 No.10661287
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    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:38 No.10661289

    I'm on text chat. Not trying video because I know I'll end up staring at a lot of dicks if I do.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:41 No.10661324
    You: Everything goes black to the sounds of screams, twisting metal, and fire!

    You wake up to find yourself buckled into the pilot's chair of a crashed airplane.
    Through the cockpit window you can see dense jungle foliage.
    You see a BACKPACK here.
    Exits are: Out the windows

    What do you do?
    Stranger: mmmmmm well i would jump out of the window dude
    You: You struggle valiantly against your seatbelt. It proves powerful.
    Stranger: really i have a 12 pic
    Stranger: pac
    Stranger: dude im superman
    You: You engage all 12 pistons in your 12 pack. The seatbelt whimpers and crawls away, still buckled.
    Stranger: uh huh
    Stranger: dude just look at me im awesome
    You: You stand in a clearing, the site of a terrible plane crash. There is a WRECK surrounded by WRECKAGE. An inhospitable jungle surrounds you.
    Stranger: http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii15/ericaanndeleon/hot-guys.jpg
    Stranger: well yes,, i dunno dudde
    You: One of the engines catches fire. Various liquids drip from the plane, and your puissant urethra.
    Stranger: dude tmi
    >> The Collective ಠ_ಠ !!WmutByiQXK+ 06/22/10(Tue)05:42 No.10661338
    Stranger: Howdy!
    You: Greetings!
    You: Would you like to play a game?
    Stranger: Affirmative
    You: I'll make a scenario, and you can decide what you want to do
    You: Sound good?
    Stranger: I copy that.
    You: You are a slug in a petri dish. You see large man in a white lab coat moving towards you, holding a large needle. What do you do?
    Stranger: Fire it up!
    You: As the man approaches, you fire it up. You are one fired up slug. His hand lowers towards your dish, and he places a finger near you
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: Lets burrrrrn.
    You: You make yourself become very hot, and as the scientist tries to pick you up, you burn his hand. He drops you to the floor!
    You: (You have evolved the ability to Fire It Up, becoming very hot!)
    You: You are now on the floor of the lab. The scientist looks suprised, and is looking for you. What do you do?
    Stranger: I'm goooooone.
    You: You quickly look for a way to escape. There is a drain in the middle of the floor, or a vent in the wall. Either would make for a good exit.
    Stranger: Oh... is that it?
    You: Hurrying away from the scientist, you look for more options. There is an open chemical cupboard which you may be able to hide in, and a door out into the facility. If you hurried, you might be able to make it to them.
    Stranger: I'm a little claustrophobic though...
    You: That is understandable, being kept in a petri dish all your life.
    You: There is an open window, but you would have to climb up the table to reach it. It would be dangerous.
    Stranger: Yeah I'm goin'
    Stranger: Go go go!
    >> The Collective ಠ_ಠ !!WmutByiQXK+ 06/22/10(Tue)05:43 No.10661350
    >>10661338 ctd.

    You: You squirm your way up the table leg. In front of you are dozens of petri dishes, containing many other slugs. You might be able to get some of them open to free your brothers, but it would take time. The scientist is still looking for you.
    You: On the other hand, you could ignore them, and make your way straight to the window.
    Stranger: Everybody's gotta die sometime red. We gotta move.
    You: You are one ruthless slug. Ignoring the other trapped slugs, you head straight towards the window. You manage to make it outside, and climb onto a tree branch closeby.
    You: You are free from the scientists clutches out here. You could make this tree your home, or explore the world. It is up to you now.
    Stranger: Set a course, make it happen.
    You: You climb down the tree, into the grass outside. This is the first time you have felt grass against your skin. You like it. You can opt to evolve in different ways now..
    You: Tree slugs are excellent climbers, and can shoot sticky strands from their bodies to swing from branches.
    You: Grass slugs are camoflagued, and hunt insects in the grass.
    You: Tunnel slugs are diggers, and can develop powerful bites to catch unwary bugs.
    You: How do you want to evolve?
    You: (Your 'Fire It Up' ability to make yourself very hot will be improved as well, no matter which you choose)
    Stranger: FUCK I loose, I yield. I lost the game I was playing.
    You: ?
    Stranger: I was speaking using only quotes from StarCraft units
    You: Well sonofabitch
    You: So you were.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:46 No.10661377
    Nice! Yours went much better.

    You: Everything goes black to the sounds of screams, twisting metal, and fire!

    You wake up to find yourself buckled into the pilot's chair of a crashed airplane.
    Through the cockpit window you can see dense jungle foliage.
    You see a BACKPACK here.
    Exits are: Out the windows

    What do you do?
    Stranger: want to see the greatest picture in the world?
    Stranger: http://www.toptenthailand.com/images/rank/r_5396.jpg
    Stranger: it's me
    You: You show your picture to your copilot
    You: He seems bored, and dead
    Stranger: what color is my head?
    You: Mostly khakis, with a little bit of piss-stain
    Stranger: great, yes
    Stranger: I fail to shake after using the urinal
    You: Your puissant urethra starts to swell with power
    Stranger: so you're right
    Stranger: urèthre puissante
    You: Are you going to let it? The safety of the world is at stake!
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:46 No.10661382
    Ahahaha that's awesome.

    Why do I only get people who want to show me their penis :[
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:47 No.10661391
    oh it's ok you can stare at me as much as you want.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:52 No.10661438
    Stranger: suck my penis
    You: You are the world's most awesome cat. The humans are not home. What do you do?
    Stranger: ...touche
    Stranger: lick myself
    You: you lie down and begin to lick your fur, cleaning and grooming yourself. What do you do
    Stranger: read a book
    You: you slowly pad up to a bookshelf. What book do you choose?
    Stranger: the bible
    You: you pull the bible down from the shelf. it lands open on the floor. What verses do you read?
    Stranger: uhm
    Stranger: the part about how unruly children should be stoned
    You: you purr in smug satisfaction as unruly children are stoned for being heathens. read some more?
    Stranger: a little bit, sure. i feel like going nuts today
    You: you read some more of the bible and are greatly amused by the holy smiting depicted within its passages. What do you do?
    Stranger: spread the good word to my fellow kittehs
    You: you leave the room and head towards the cat flap, do you exit the house and head onto the streets?
    Stranger: i would....but that would mean i have to leave omegle
    Stranger: i will anyway
    Stranger: meow
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:53 No.10661461
    You: You are a mutated super intelligent hedgehog with the ability to speak to humans and be understood by them. You are at a pressconference in UN to speak for your people. What do you do?
    Stranger: "Can I have a hug?"
    You: "Of course you can!" the secretary of Netherlands exclaims and hugs yu.
    You: you*
    Stranger: *smile* "Thank you. That is all we want, hugs. And your first born, but we can talk about that later."
    Stranger: "And we are ready to settle for fourth born, if need be. But fifth is out of the question."
    You: He looks a bit puzzled but doesn't go deeper into the question. The world is watching you.
    You: ((Might I add you have super hedgehog powers))
    Stranger: "Now, down to business. I have you all gathered here for a very important purpose. We must discuss this. How do we kill Superman? And we can't higher Batman, he costs too much."
    You: There is the sound of a manical laughter from the entrance. Heads turn to face a scared man, dressed in make up to make him resemble some kind of jester. "I'm cheaper..." he says with a huge grin and comes toward the podium.
    >> The Collective ಠ_ಠ !!WmutByiQXK+ 06/22/10(Tue)05:55 No.10661482

    I like where this is going.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)05:58 No.10661514
    Stranger: "You, are also useless. You have tried, and failed, then ran off with my money. Now you die." I use my super hedgehog powers to make his head explode. "He wanted to kill Supergirl as well, and we can't allow that. She is too hot in that shirt and skirt."
    Stranger: "And I swear, if anyone suggests we ask Aquaman, they are going to wish I made their head explode."
    You: The leaders mumble and look at eachother. One man, a grizzled man with an eye-patch stands up. "Hrmhmr." He clears his throat to get everyones attention. "Mr Mutated Hedgehog. Maybe we could ask... Dr Evil."
    Stranger: "Yes, yes... That just may work... Dr. Evil's genius mixed with out power... that just may work... Any one have his number? I lost it when I dropped my old phone in the ocean."
    You: The man looks a bit perplexed, anxious of the outcome of what his next words might be; "The last person to know Dr. Evils location was Austin Powers."
    You: The secretary from Norway gets up, looking pretty distressed. "Pardon me Mr Hedgehog, but why are you interested in Supergirls sexual outfit? No offense but you are a hedgehog!"
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:08 No.10661622
    Stranger: My eyes go into a squint. "So just because I am a hedgehog means I can't fap to Supergirl's look? is that what you are saying? Your a spiciest, aren't you? Your racist to my people, aren't you?"
    Stranger: "Somebody shoot him in the balls, please."
    You: He looks mighty anxious. "No that's not what I---" The secretary of Saudia Arabia stands up and shoots him square in the balls. He goes down with a huge grunt, squirming in pain, clutching his bloody groin.
    Stranger: "There, now that that is over. Secretary of England, do you have a way to contact Mr. Powers?
    Stranger: "*
    You: "Yes!" He says with a smile, takes up his phone and dials a number. "Yes, Mr Powers. We need your assistance to catch Dr. Evil. I don't know, Mr Hedgehog demands it. I--- Bu--- Wai--- Here." he hands you the phone.
    Stranger: "Yes, Mr. Powers? Yes, that is correct. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yes, I understand that. Yes. Well, we need his help in finding a way to kill Superman. Yes. That is correct. Pay? Well, I happen to know Supergirl will do anything to help, as she is sick of his showboating. And I mean ANYTHING. Trust me, I tested it last night. That is correct. As a matter of fact, she is. Yes. Yes. Good. Splendid. Half an hour? Yes, we shall see you soon. Did you want to ta-? No, okay then. Okay. Okay, see you then. Okay. Bye." I hang up the phone, handing it back to its owner. "He shall be here in a half hour."
    Stranger: "Oh, and secretary of Saudi Arabia? You shall be given a medal for your quick and decisive actions."
    You: The secretary of Saudi Arabia takes a bow at the hedgehog incarnated Allah.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:09 No.10661627
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    Stranger got raeped in less than a minute.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:15 No.10661709
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    trolling the troll
    >> The Collective ಠ_ಠ !!WmutByiQXK+ 06/22/10(Tue)06:16 No.10661729
    Well, this slug quest ended in a weird way.

    You: You are a super intelligent slug in a petri dish. You see large man in a white lab coat moving towards you, holding a large needle. What do you do?
    Stranger: ill cut my veins
    You: You break open your veins, and slug blood squirts at the man. He is suprised, and drops the needle! Now is your chance to escape!
    Stranger: no
    Stranger: ill cut my veins so i die easily
    Stranger: rather than being experimented
    Stranger: painless
    You: Well thats not as fun.
    You: Okay, your slug dies
    Stranger: coz i am super intelligent i will thing of such scenarios
    You: You are REINCARNATED.
    Stranger: ohkk
    Stranger: then
    You: As a super intelligent HEDGEHOG. You are in a field.
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: cool
    Stranger: i'll start body building
    Stranger: esp my legs
    You: You go to the local woodland gym, and start training. There is a badger there, who is the toughest, meanest creature in the gym. He glares at you when you are training.
    Stranger: okie
    You: Eventually, the badger comes over. "You are on my machine, Hedgehog." He doesnt look pleased.
    >> The Collective ಠ_ಠ !!WmutByiQXK+ 06/22/10(Tue)06:17 No.10661743
    >>10661729 ctd

    Stranger: ill open my pants
    Stranger: show him my woody allen
    Stranger: and run as fast as i can
    Stranger: thts what i built my legs for
    You: The badger is suprised by your actions, and you manage to get a headstart on him as he is left reeling from the shock.
    You: He eventually starts to chase you deeper into the forest, until you come across a river. It is well known in the forest that the Badger hates water. What do you do?
    Stranger: i will make my marks near the shore
    Stranger: then i will jump a tree n hide
    Stranger: badger thinks m in river
    Stranger: or crossed it
    Stranger: and goes back
    Stranger: and we live happily ever after
    You: Very clever, for Hedgehogs cannot swim! Their spikes get in the way.
    You: You climb into the tree, and the badger comes rushing to the riverbank.
    You: He sniffs around at your marks, then looks across the river. Grumbles to himself, and heads back towards the Gym. You are now in a tree. What do you want to do?
    Stranger: i spot a female hedgehog on a tree near by
    Stranger: she is taking cold breaths
    Stranger: i pounce on her and have a night of my life
    You: There is a female hedgehog in a nearby tree. She thanks you for scaring off the badger. She is a horribly racist hedgehog and doesnt like people who are black AND white, like badgers. In return, she decides to give you her hedgehog naughty parts.
    Stranger: i will have sex with her
    Stranger: derive pleasure immensely
    Stranger: and then ill scold her for her racial attitude
    Stranger: slap her
    Stranger: and hand her over to international crim tribunal
    Stranger: for atrocities on human race
    Stranger: weapons of mass destruction
    Stranger: and humanitarian crimes
    You: You pleasure the female hedgehog, until she is just about to finish, then slap her and scold her for her racism. You cuff her and drag her to the international criminal tribunal, which is near the dandilion field, and hand her in for her crimes
    >> The Collective ಠ_ಠ !!WmutByiQXK+ 06/22/10(Tue)06:17 No.10661749
    >>10661743 ctd.

    You: You are now a hero hedgehog, for defeating such a racist creature. Even the badger at the gym doesnt mind you so much.
    You: What do you want to do with your new status?
    Stranger: i'll be rich now?
    You: You have all the acorns you can spend.
    Stranger: i will open a harem of non-racist femal hedgehogs
    Stranger: hundreds of em
    Stranger: and will stay there for rest of my life
    Stranger: enjoying them
    You: You open "The Prickle-Pig Pleasure Palace" where hundreds of hedgehogs and even porcupines (for the more exotic tastes) can provide any sexual satisfaction.
    You: You become world reknown as the the greatest hedgehog who ever trod the earth, and live out the rest of your days as the Hugh Hefner of hedgehogs.
    You: You win!
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:20 No.10661777
    "Thank you for coming, Mr. Powers. Now, what is it that you will need to bring us Dr. Evil?
    You: The music dies, Austin looking displeased. It turns in a second into a mighty grin and some flicks of his eyebrows. "Well Mr Hedgehog... Last time I saw he was in space again! But if you hand me a space shuttle and some babes I'm all yours, yeah." He keeps grinning and winks at you.

    Teleport Dr Evil down with your awesome powers?
    Stranger: "Hmm... How about this. I'll teleport him in, and you make sure he does nothing crazy. Succeed, and Supergirl is yours for a night, as we agreed. Once he is finished with the plans, you shall be paid with a night with her. Should we need your continued help, we also have Spider-Girl and Wonder Woman at our disposal."
    Stranger: "And trust me, they are worth it."
    You: "Can't I have all three for just an hour?" he asks and gives you the double pistol and another short, low "yeah.." while flicking his eyebrows at you.
    Stranger: "For that, you would have to bring me the head of Aquaman and Robin, as well as ensure that Superman dies. I don't think you understand what you are asking for on that one. The three of them are well beyond hot for each other, and that gets really wild really quick. That kind of payment requires more then keeping a buffoon like Dr. Evil under control."
    You: Mr Powers stiffen and makes a sort of pervers gargling sound deep in his throat.

    The roof suddenly breaks in a and a fag in a blue jumpsuit with a cape comes flying down. Arms across his chest. He lands infront of the podium, pointing at you. "Step down you evil, mutated rodent!" he shouts. It's superman.
    Stranger: "God, I can't believe you just came to me. That makes this so much easier." Using my powers, I make his head explode, both the upper and lower one, with enough force to blow parts of him into space. "Okay, that is over with. You are no longer needed Mr. Powers, so no night with the super hero women for you. So long."
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:23 No.10661803
    Omegle conversation log 2010-06-22
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: is it time already?
    Stranger: God no
    You: thank God!
    Stranger: Yeha it's time
    You: you lied to me ._.
    Stranger: Naw
    Stranger: It wasn't time
    Stranger: But it became time
    You: oh
    You: I see...
    Stranger: NO
    Stranger: Not that time
    Stranger: Not that time at all
    You: oh
    Stranger: It's time
    You: jerk off time
    You: but
    Stranger: IT'S TIME
    You: thats
    You: ALL TIME
    Stranger: It's time to
    Stranger: to
    Stranger: to to to to
    Stranger: eat
    Stranger: the
    Stranger: the
    Stranger: ....
    Stranger: ............
    You: I only eat after beating off
    You: but I always beat off
    Stranger: beat off to what
    Stranger: Waitin
    Stranger: On a sunday afternoon
    Stranger: for what I read between the lines
    Stranger: THE LINES
    You: OMG THE LINES?!
    You: fuck no! They're nigger lines ._.
    Stranger: FEELIN
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:23 No.10661808
    Damn, closest I got was finding a /b/tard

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: The Game... The Jews lost it...

    *ASC2 Swastika*

    You: Sup /b/roseph
    Stranger: nm dood, see moot in the triforce thread?
    You: Actually, I don't. I hail from /tg/
    You: Have fun trollan though
    Stranger: waidogo...
    You have disconnected.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:33 No.10661927
    bumping for greater justice
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:35 No.10661949
    You: ME TOO
    Stranger: JUST A CITY BOY

    what the christ is this, I want to end up in the RPs of one of you guys
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:37 No.10661973
    That's fucking JOURNEY.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:42 No.10662019
    Stranger: Hello.
    You: Hello.
    Stranger: How are you?
    You: Walker's forces will never retreat, you know?
    Stranger: Um...I don't really, but....that's cool.
    You: don't tell you don't know what's going on in Brasil...
    Stranger: I don't....sorry. Would you mind explaining to me?
    You: *sigh* that's what's wrong with you americans
    You: you never know what's goin on in the goddamn world
    Stranger: Well, I'm sorry. It's not intentional.
    You: sure it's not
    You: like when my uncle "happened" to trip and fall into my sister
    You: like he "happened" to be naked
    Stranger: Hey now, there's no need to be rude.
    You: rude?
    You: hum
    You: whats that?
    You: english is not my 1st language...
    Stranger: Rude means impolite.
    You: hum...politician?
    Stranger: No...
    Stranger: Not nice.,
    You: oh, you mean like a fat chick?
    Stranger: No...
    You: but fat chicks are not nice.
    You: I do not understand.
    Stranger: It's a different kind of not being nice.
    Stranger: Being rude is saying things that are not nice. Besides, I don't think there's anything wrong with being fat, unless it is purely out of sloth.
    You: sloth?
    Stranger: Laziness.
    You: oh
    You: so mexica?
    You: wait a minute
    You: you fat?
    Stranger: No, I'm not.
    You: really?
    Stranger: Yes, really. I'm 5'6" tall, 103 lbs, and a model.
    You: and when you wake up, what are you?
    Stranger: What are you talking about? I'm being completely serious.
    Stranger: I can send you hundreds of pictures of myself modeling.
    You: riight
    You: and you a guy or girl?
    Stranger: I'm a girl.

    It goes on
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:43 No.10662028
    You: I DON'T
    Stranger: JUST ONE MORE TIME
    You: WELL DUH
    You: OKAY I'LL TRY
    Stranger: OKAY, I'M DONE. =))

    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:44 No.10662046
    Prepare to be educated.


    Also, we need a new thread. NEW THREAD!
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:45 No.10662057
    You suck
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:46 No.10662063
    what is this shit?
    >> ZORK JUNGLE Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:47 No.10662074
    I finally got a good transcript out of DEATH JUNGLE!

    I noticed the other transcripts seem to succeed more when they're constantly prompting the user. You don't just go "HI WELCOME TO DEATH JUNGLE", you say "Welcome to Death Jungle. ARE YOU READY?!"
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:47 No.10662079
    Get out. Get out NOW.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:49 No.10662096
    How to archive?
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:49 No.10662103


    You: of course you are
    Stranger: Well, it's fine if you don't believe me, but I am.
    You: ill test that
    You: are you a small town girl?
    Stranger: No.
    You: do you live in a lonely world?
    Stranger: Ha. No.
    You: did you take the midnight train goin anywhere?
    Stranger: Not yet.
    You: am I a city boy?
    Stranger: Born and raised in south Detriot?
    You: No.
    Stranger: Sorry to spoil your fun, but I didn't want to have to go through the whole song.
    You: what song?
    Stranger: Really?
    You: reality?
    Stranger: Uhh...
    Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0
    You: OMG!
    You: they stole the writing from the voyager poem!
    Stranger: Doesn't look like it to me...
    You: damn those cantadeiros for stealing writings
    You: next you're going to tell me
    You: this wasnt stolen too
    Stranger: I don't know what you're even talking about.
    You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
    You: people who steal wrinting as use them as their own
    Stranger: Ouch.
    You: see even you know its stoled
    Stranger: Totally.
    You: oh, and you've been rick roll'd.
    You: Thanks for playing.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:51 No.10662114
    So, uh. I just turned one of my dudes into a stripper. Totally twisted that woke up in an alley thing around.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:51 No.10662116
    jesus fuck I've been in an rp chat with one guy for the past hour....
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:52 No.10662130
    Do tell.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:55 No.10662165
    copied the idea of the scouting vessle in deep space, then added some 40k refrences cause I'm an un-original faggot. and it's about to end in a few so I'll post it.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:56 No.10662177
    this is troll
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:58 No.10662201
    That blue eyed is a guy, right?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)06:58 No.10662203
    I don't... what?
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)06:59 No.10662228

    "It" is swearing its a chick, but looks like a tranny to me
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:00 No.10662241
    I have to agree with you. But what does that have to do with the thread?
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:01 No.10662255
    It's the person I'm/was trolling on omegle and sent me the link
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:02 No.10662260

    guy or girl?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:03 No.10662271
    You: Wake Up. We're Here. Why are you shaking?
    Stranger: im falling
    Stranger: and i just cant help it im falling
    You: Are you okay? Stand up.
    Stranger: ???
    You: There you go. You were dreaming. What's your name?
    Stranger: i never thought youd be the one that i want in my life
    Stranger: that id fall in love w
    Stranger: haha
    Stranger: im emma
    Stranger: and you?
    You: Well, not even last night's storm could wake you. I heard them say we've reached Morrowind. I'm sure they'll let us go.
    Stranger: im confused now
    You: Quiet, here comes the guard.
    You: This is where you get off. Come with me.
    You: Get yourself up on deck and let's keep this as civil as possible.
    Stranger: ok....
    You: This is where they want you. Head down to the dock and he'll show you to the Census Office.
    You: You finally arrived, but our records don't show from where.
    Stranger: hmmm
    Stranger: no idea where this is headed haha
    You: Where are you from?
    Stranger: england
    You: Great. I'm sure you'll fit right in. Follow me up to the office and they'll finish your release.
    You: Ahh yes, we've been expecting you. You'll have to be recorded before you're officially released. There are a few ways we can do this, and the choice is yours.
    Stranger: so what are the ways......
    You: What do you do?
    Stranger: im a student
    You: Very good. The letter that preceded you mentioned you were born under a certain sign. And what would that be?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:03 No.10662273
    Stranger: gemini? :S
    You: Interesting. Now before I stamp these papers, make sure this information is correct.
    You: Emma :: England :: Student :: Gemini.
    Stranger: yaa
    You: Show your papers to the Captain when you exit to get your release fee.
    Stranger: ok.........
    You: First, let me take your identification papers. Thank you. Word of your arrival only reached me yesterday. I am Sellus Gravius. But my background is not important. I'm here to welcome you to Morrowind.
    Stranger: is this some weird game or something?
    You: You're in Morrowind. I don't know why you're here. Or why you were released from prison and shipped here. But your authorization comes directly from Emperor Uriel Septim VII himself. And I don't need to know any more than that. When you leave this office, you are a free woman. But before you go, I have instructions on your duties. Instructions from the Emperor. So pay careful attention.
    You: This package came with the news of your arrival. You are to take it to Caius Cosades, in the town of Balmora. Go to the South Wall Cornerclub, and ask for Caius Cosades -- they'll know where to find him. Serve him as you would serve the Emperor himself. I also have a letter for you, and a disbursal to your name.
    Stranger: unless your horny i really dont care anymore
    You: Oh, yeah, we can do that too.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:03 No.10662274
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: you are a dastardly rogue, poised to wreak havoc upon the world
    You: what do?
    Stranger: wtf : D
    You: you stand still for a moment and briefly contemplate what the fuck is going on
    You: you remember that you have an ongoing plot to destroy the city
    You: what do?
    Stranger: are you okay ? : o
    Stranger: because you seem like some weirdo:D
    You: Who?
    You: You ask a nearby bum whether or not he is alright
    You: he assures you he'd be much better if you could give him about $3.50
    Stranger: you are fucking weird
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:08 No.10662321
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: heyyy
    You: You are sitting in a pub. An angry Dwarvish man pokes you in the side. What do you do?
    Stranger: i push him off the seat
    You: He's a dwarf. he is standing so he can poke you
    Stranger: then ill get up and walk away
    You: Where do you walk to?
    Stranger: to you mom whos waiting in bed
    You: You find the old TOWN WHORE
    You: Such a scabby bithc
    Stranger: so your moms a whore?
    You: It would be death to stick anything into that carapace
    Stranger: k w/e, but ur moms a whore
    You: Yes, you check and see that it is indeed the TOWN WHORE. Maybe you should check your inventory
    Stranger: wtf dude
    You: You pull out your trust Willenhiem Trademark Fork
    You: Perhaps this will remove the TOWN WHORE
    Stranger: and you pull out your dick and rape every hooker you can find
    Stranger: jeezus dude
    Stranger: u get sum help
    You: After the first attempted rape you are accousted by a local Pimp
    You: He is rather enraged at you damaging his produce
    Stranger: i dont rape bitch, its consentual
    You: He says pay with yo money or yo life, as his vernacular says
    Stranger: and please, i have a gun. i killed the pimp with one bullet
    You: You check your inventory for a GUN.
    You: You have no GUN. But you do have a SILVER KY
    You: *KEY
    Stranger: dude you nerdies can be cute, but your WAY too annoying. no wonder no one likes you

    I'm sad
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:10 No.10662357
    I like you, anon.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:11 No.10662368
    Dont worry, I like you
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:11 No.10662375
    Thank you
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:11 No.10662377
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: good
    Stranger: ?
    You: you're here
    Stranger: :D
    You: I've been looking
    Stranger: ^^ thats nice
    You: yeah
    You: but lemme tell you
    You: you cumdumpsters are hard to find
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:13 No.10662402
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    Stranger: asl?
    You: chandelwhere?
    Stranger: chandelwhere?
    You: you died.
    Stranger: you bitch
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:15 No.10662415
    ok it's ready guys.

    Stranger: hi
    You: You are a captain of a small scout ship. You are in deep space. Sensors detect a distress signal nearby. What do you do?
    Stranger: everybody to theyr stations, there may be trouble ahead
    Stranger: and then i go and help
    Stranger: but it turns out it was a trap, right?
    You: the entire crew moves to their stations as your thrusters move foward to the anomaly
    You: you spot a derelict ship it seems to have a hole blown in the side and the engines have been ripped off of it.
    Stranger: what type of hole are we talking about?
    Stranger: like crash into an asteroide?
    Stranger: or shot by lasers
    You: It appears that it was shot by a high powered energy lance and has hit the fuel tanks. the explosion shows off the ships several decks
    Stranger: i arm my crew and prepare to sneak in
    Stranger: then i do my best to stealthily move in
    You: you move your ship to board the derelict ship, as your boarding crew of 15 arm themselves well.
    Stranger: i decide to land my ship on the belly of this vessel
    Stranger: that way if there is anyone around, they will not see me
    Stranger: then i drill thru to where the cargo hold must be
    You: your ship clings to the belly of the derelict ship, and drill into the cargo hold you and your security crew then enter the ship.
    You: you notice the ship's power is still active for some reason. yet any signs of battle in the interior of the ship seem to be un-noticable if there are any.
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: well this smells fishy, so i tell my 2nd in command to lock up and arm himself and those who are staying on board
    Stranger: not to open unless i give a safeword
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:16 No.10662426
    >oh, yeah, we can do that too

    I fell off my chair laughing.

    Tell me, was it good?
    I'm genuinely curious.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:16 No.10662431
    You: the remainder of your crew arms and seals the airlock.
    Stranger: then i go off with my crew and explore the power levels of the ship
    You: your crew travels through many decks to the center of the ship. the sides of halls seem to have many scorch marks onto them.
    Stranger: i mark where i am so that i dont get lost and so i can find my way back
    then i go on to look for survivors/and or answers to the ships condition
    i tell my crew to be extra vigilant
    Stranger: any strange noises or sights are to be marked
    Stranger: and we move on slowly and carefully
    You: you check every room for any survivors. yet they all seem to be locked.
    You: as you continue to move along you hear noises from the upper deck.
    Stranger: i test the scorch marks on the walls to see what they are
    then i examin the suroundings to see if there are any strange materials in the air (gas's,etc)
    You: you effectivly scan the air it seems that it has traces of promethium. The scorch marks appear to just be scorch marks from a high amount of heat.
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: promethium eh?
    You: yes promethium
    Stranger: well then this was obviously the outburst of a high quantity of promethium in the energy cells of the ship
    Stranger: unless i was mistaken
    Stranger: the heat generated at the bottom would have been enough to bing the levels of heat at the top way high
    Stranger: fry everyone on board
    Stranger: i continue towards the noises with extra vigilance
    Stranger: having my men look all directions at once
    You: as you move to the higher levels you notice that they have been locked from this side.
    Stranger: ahah
    Stranger: maybe sabotage
    Stranger: i try to open one of the doors with my men still guarding all directions
    Stranger: *from all directions
    You: as you open the doors you hear extremely heavy breathing and the scittering of many creatures. The power unfortunetly is off making you unable to see anything.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:17 No.10662446
    Stranger: it turns out i was wrong
    Stranger: i close the door
    Stranger: fast as i can
    Stranger: and go off to find the main control room of the ship
    You: The door closes yet as you do an insectiod like claw jams it from the bottom
    Stranger: shit!
    Stranger: what type of firepower are we packing?
    Stranger: and melee weapons?
    Stranger: suits?
    You: simple riot weapons that can hold off enemies who hold small weapons and melee weapons with light armor
    You: your suits are able to with hold light-medium firepower for a time. yet are weak to puncture damage
    Stranger: uh huh
    Stranger: do we have knives?
    You: you have simple combat knives.
    Stranger: excellent
    You: generic squad member 2 holds a stun rod
    Stranger: i draw my combat knife and slice off the claw
    Stranger: quiet and effective
    Stranger: ooh a stun rod!
    You: you slice at the claw, yet it's exoskeleton simply forces your knife to be forced away as it comes into contact with it. your knife does little to no damage what so ever to the beast.
    You: the beast slowly fights to raise the door. more insectiod claws reach for the door and start to force it open as a fleshy growth appears from the opening and grabs at generic squad member 3
    Stranger: how many squad members do i have?
    You: 15
    You: counting you
    You: what do you do?
    Stranger: and i use the stun rod on the fleshy growth
    Stranger: as for the claws
    Stranger: i get my crew to open on supressing fire as we go back the way we came from
    Stranger: didnt wanna make noise but its too late now
    You: the stun rod causes the fleshy growth to reel back. yet the minor riot guns seem to barely harm the claws with only a few of them leaving as the door slowly starts to close again.
    Stranger: then i use the stun rod on the rest of the claws and lock the door again
    Stranger: i tell my boys to stop firing as well
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:18 No.10662453
    ...this is... glorious.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:20 No.10662474
    Stranger: hey 21 m canada, ask me any three questions and i will answer them truthfully
    You: Are you really 21? Are you really male? Are you really from Canada?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:20 No.10662479
    You: your men stop firing yet the stun rod just seems to slide off akwardly from the claws. the exoskeleton nullifying the energy as more claws return forcing the door open faster as it is now open to your thighs.
    Stranger: i have explosives?
    fire making utensils?
    Stranger: anything to make heat?
    You: any of these have been banned from scouting vessles due to the incedent of epselon 214 and the entire ship being filled with fire on the inside.
    Stranger: of course
    Stranger: :p
    Stranger: alrighty
    Stranger: it look like we have to take drastic measures
    Stranger: i get my men to open fire again and retreat while doing so
    generic soldier 3 will use his stun rod on the fleshy growth and ill have 2 men protecting him
    Stranger: i let the door go and retreat with my men
    You: you start to retreat down the service stairs returning to the scorched halls. The flesh growth doesn't appear however so g.s.m.3 doesn't need to use the stun rod at all
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: how about the claws?
    Stranger: anything following us?
    You: you hear the door continue to groan as it is forced open from above, as any minute now what ever is in the upper levels will surely be released upon you.
    Stranger: we run
    Stranger: back the way we came
    Stranger: checking behind us so nothing comes without warning
    Stranger: we also shed whatever equipement we dont need
    Stranger: whatevers weighing us down
    You: you continue to run but as you check behind you, you run into another squad of what appears to be heavily armed men.
    You: they don't appear hostile nor friendly yet they do have their weapons trained to you as they direct you to a newly opened cabin in this level.
    Stranger: we go with them, but contact our ship to tell them whats going on
    Stranger: while doing so
    Stranger: we also tell them that we are friendlies
    Stranger: heard the distress
    Stranger: came to help
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:22 No.10662506
    You: the men stay silent as they close the door behind you locking it. and any form of transmission to the ship is now met with a pulsating screech.
    Stranger: i signal with my men to stay alert for any strange behavior, then i go talk to the leader
    You: the leader seems frightened and enraged as he scolds you. "you have released the beasts that we have spent weeks trying to contain! you have surely ensured all of our deaths!"
    Stranger: i apologise and explain what has happened to us
    Stranger: then i ask how they contained them in the first place
    Stranger: then i ask what they are
    You: "we contained them by using several flamers to push them into the upper decks away from the power generators"
    You: they do not reply as to what they are
    Stranger: i ask again explaining that we would have a better chance at fighting if we new what we were up against
    You: They continue to stair at you, as if you are speaking an alien language to them.
    Stranger: "how much flamer fuel do we have left?"
    You: "they reply that those who were chosen to push the creatures back chose to lock themselves in the upper lairs."
    You: "all of the fuel was given to them"
    Stranger: fun
    Stranger: alright "how many survivors are there?"
    Stranger: "what weapons do they have"
    Stranger: "are there any evac ships?"
    You: they reply that they do not know how many others survived, their weapons are basic assault weapons from lasguns to auto-guns.
    You: "and all the evac ships were located in the mid levels. where the creatures are"
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: are there any ships left that arnt behind the swarm?
    why are our radios down? (dont say we have a ship or where it is)
    and roughly how many known survivors
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:22 No.10662507
    Stranger: yo
    You: lol I just saw it
    Stranger: saw wat
    You: the cloud
    Stranger: wats so good bout dat u moran
    You: lol it's a cloud of radiation that will kill all you niggers.
    You: enjoy it, asscloth.
    Stranger: am not A black person u racist fck how would u like it if i called u a bad name cuz of d color u have on ur skin so go choke on a pakistani dick u fcker
    You: you write like a nigger.
    Stranger: yeh r mama is a nigger
    Stranger: nd ur father is a paki
    Stranger: nd ur chineese
    You: yes and you can call me boss for the rest of your life.
    Stranger: call u d boss of scking dick
    You: sure, since that's your job
    You: now go suck that dick and bring me the money
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:23 No.10662517
    Well, I just had a time traveler meet two hot Russian time travelers bathing in the Jurassic. Then he got taken to the year 2112 and killed by Robo Stalin. There were probably a great many things that he should have done different...
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:24 No.10662531
    You: "I wouldn't know if there are any ships left I'm just the sergent of the heavy weapons squad. As for the radios our Champion believed it was a shadow caused by the creatures. No I don't understand it either."
    You: "and as for survivors only the eight of us, fifteen of you and about 27 more on the other side of the ship."
    Stranger: hmm
    Stranger: what was this ship?
    Stranger: heavy weapons meens it wasnt a cruise ship
    You: the man just shuffles around akwardly.
    You: "listen you got here so that must mean you have a ship to get out of here. Lets just make our way to it and leave this hulk floating off and away in space."
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: then i give i nice short compelling speech on how i will help them, but i need answers and i need them now!
    Stranger: i cant fight the unknown
    Stranger: so i need to know everything i can about the situation
    You: the man says that the ship was attacked by an unknown ship. which was quickly then boarded and said creatures began to flood into it. The surviving crew linked up via the radio and forced the creatures into the upper decks away from the generator using the flamers so that way the generator could continue to power the air refreshers so they could breath.
    You: they then locked themselves in with all the supplies they could so they could survive
    You: it has been 3 weeks since the incedint until you and your team arrived
    You: "we really don't have time for a conversation, you let the beasts out and they could burst through this door any minute and slaughter us! We really must be going."
    Stranger: alright good enough!
    Stranger: we need provisions
    Stranger: everything we can grab in as short a note as possible
    You: all that they hold is their equipment which they refuse to leave behind.
    You: any meal provisions would be pointless seeing as how your scouting vessle would hold enough meal provisions to withlast years in space
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:24 No.10662533
    Stranger: no my job is having sex with ur mam nd beating her around d room nd I AM YOUR FATHER
    You: oh...You might want to sit down.
    Last night while I was drunk, I went to your room and raped you to death. I'm sorry for giving you AIDS.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:24 No.10662535
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Stand up, there you go. You were dreaming. What's your name?
    Stranger: What?
    Stranger: xD
    You: What's your name?
    Stranger: Uhm, Dex
    You: Well, not even last night's storm could wake you. I heard them say we've reached Morrowind. I'm sure they'll let us go.
    Stranger: oooooh now I get it..
    Stranger: xD
    You: Quiet, here comes the guard.
    Stranger: ... -is quiet-
    You: This is where you get off, come with me.
    You: Get yourself up on deck, and let's keep this as civil as possible.
    Stranger: you got it
    You: This is where they want you. Head down to the dock and he'll show you to the Census Office.
    You: You finally arrived, but our records don't show from where.
    Stranger: Lmao
    You: Where are you from?
    Stranger: Dragon Fel, and yourself?
    You have disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:25 No.10662555
    Stranger: oh does it?
    Stranger: goody
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: then i take a peek under the door to look for any motion
    You: the door is air tight so you are unable to look for antyhing on the other side
    Stranger: then we open the door a crack and see whats outside
    You: the door is an automatic. any command to open it will cause it to open or close all the way
    Stranger: fuckin eh? :p
    Stranger: alright
    Stranger: then i prepare everyone for firing upon an enemy and to run directly to the ship
    Stranger: we open the door
    You: you open the door and behold...
    You: nothing fills the hallway save for the scorchmarks from the flamers.
    Stranger: awesome
    Stranger: we go outside
    Stranger: close the door behind us
    Stranger: then as quietly as possible run to our ship
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:26 No.10662570
    You: as soon as the door closes dozens possibly hundreds of the creatures explode from the vents, screeching in bloodlust
    You: they appear to be 5 foot tall with 4 arms and two legs. yet they hold calcium based teeth and an organic tongue as well as a tail
    You: their bodies organic and fleshy yet covered in an exoskeleton
    Stranger: shoot for the mouths and eyes, retreat to our ship
    the hallway is too narrow for many to attack at once, so we have the advantage of ranged attacks
    Stranger: then as quickly as possible we get to our ship
    You: your weapons accuracy as well as your squad seem to be spaced around and eventually they hit in the eye or fleshy part of the creatures. almost none of them killing them and only wounding, yet the soilders weapons kill some of them and pierce through their skeletons killing maybe 20 or so
    You: their bodies fill the halls yet they continue to rush at you some of the dead being pushed towards your men and knocking a few down as some of the creatures slaughter generic squad member 5 and 6
    Stranger: shit!
    Stranger: when we get to the cargo bay we close the doors behind us
    You: you hear a seismic roar behind you as you notice a creature much larger then the rest
    You: at least 8 feet tall as it plows through its smaller brethren and collides into the rear guard. Immediatly killing two of them and impaling its sythe like arms into the poor body that could once be identified as one of the soilders
    You: members killed were two soilders and generic squad member 7
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:27 No.10662580
    Stranger: no time to lose we close the doors and sprint to the ship
    Stranger: get them to open the doors on the way there
    You: you close the doors behind you, G.S.M 3 being grabbed and dragged into the middle of the swarm as you hear his screams the doors slam shut. You continue to sprint to the ship as the doors are banged on and large dents and rips are made in them.
    You: the airlock is in the process of opening as you reach the ship, it will take about two or so minutes
    Stranger: aww man really???
    You: yes, and the doors behind you are about to be burst down. you best prepare yourself
    Stranger: whats in the cargo bay?
    Stranger: isles and isles of crates?
    You: inside the cargo bay you notice rows and rows of draped figures. you uncloak one of them that is infront of the door and see that it is a heavy battle tank.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:28 No.10662582

    Dude no one cares, fuck.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:28 No.10662589
    Stranger: yuss!
    Stranger: thank you! :p
    Stranger: ?
    Stranger: two guys?
    Stranger: alright 3 guys a tank
    Stranger: gunner, driver and...gunner?
    You: as the tank is revealed the soilders turn their attention to the door and begin to open fire as it is burst open, with all of the smaller creatures running off from the side as the larger figures rush in straight at you
    Stranger: everyone in the tanks
    You: you order your squads into the open tank and some of them uncloak the others and hop in. you notice the tanks are not loaded or fueled. and as you enter said tanks the airlock has finished its opening sequence.
    Stranger: tell the ship to take off before it actually opens the doors
    Stranger: the hole in the side of the ship should then suck everything out into space
    Stranger: this is assuming the tanks are airtight
    Stranger: cross my fingers :p
    You: as the ship takes off away from the ship. As it does the creatures are pulled out of the ship, counting in the hundreds of thousands as you sit there for an hour or so as they are all pulled out, a few hundred of them being twice the size of your tanks and ripping the entrance hole wider as they are sucked out
    You: luckily your tanks are mag-locked to the deck so they do not exit the ship save for one which held G.S.M 9-12 in it
    You: they are presumed dead
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:30 No.10662603
    Stranger: i wait an extra 10 minutes until after the creatures stop flying thru the hole, then i signal for the ship to come back and seal the hole
    You: as the ship seals the hole, the remainder of your squad exits the tanks as well as the soilders, quite joyes of what they just did.
    Stranger: time for celebrations later
    Stranger: everyone in the ship
    Stranger: then take off asap
    Stranger: see if we can find the tank with 9-12
    Stranger: carefull not to run into any floating creatures
    You: as you enter your ship and radio (now clean) the helmsmen to scan for the missing tank, the soilders open fire from behind you and effectivly kill G.S.M 2,13,14,15 and shoot you in the back of your leg.
    Stranger: fuuuck!
    Stranger: :p
    Stranger: are they onboard yet?
    You: the supposed sergent places his boot on your head and shoots your hand with his lasgun. leaving a hole right in the middle of it.
    You: and yes you are all passed the inner airlock and they are now both sealed
    Stranger: fuckin eh
    Stranger: i guess i lossed
    Stranger: lost*
    You: ah well good game mate
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:31 No.10662617
    the thread is about rp chats being posted. This took an hour and a half to do so I'm going to fucking post it.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:33 No.10662631
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: yo
    You: lol I just saw it
    Stranger: saw wat
    You: the cloud
    Stranger: wats so good bout dat u moran
    You: lol it's a cloud of radiation that will kill all you niggers.
    You: enjoy it, asscloth.
    Stranger: am not A black person u racist fck how would u like it if i called u a bad name cuz of d color u have on ur skin so go choke on a pakistani dick u fcker
    You: you write like a nigger.
    Stranger: yeh r mama is a nigger
    Stranger: nd ur father is a paki
    Stranger: nd ur chineese
    You: yes and you can call me boss for the rest of your life.
    Stranger: call u d boss of scking dick
    You: sure, since that's your job
    You: now go suck that dick and bring me the money
    Stranger: no my job is having sex with ur mam nd beating her around d room nd I AM YOUR FATHER
    You: oh...You might want to sit down.
    Last night while I was drunk, I went to your room and raped you to death. I'm sorry for giving you AIDS.
    Stranger: no am not gay like u nd get ur facts right u seen me in ur mams room nd i wasnt wearin a condom i brought ur mam bck to my house near the strip club nd dere again i wasnt wearin a condom again nd i fcked ur mam so hard after we had sex she ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PUSSY HURTS
    You: yep, you really write like a 12 year old nigger
    You: sure you're not
    Stranger: yeh am ten years old u chink
    You: mentally? I agree
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:33 No.10662636
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    You: do you like pancakes?
    Stranger: yeh
    Stranger: i even know how to make them
    You: thats so awesome
    You: you a girl?
    Stranger: no
    You: then why do you cook...you f.a.g?
    Stranger: im a wizard
    You: as long as you're not a ni.g.ger
    Stranger: im a nigger
    Stranger: what's with the periods?
    You: ok, my friend. come with me to the backyard *load his shotgun*
    Stranger: hmmm
    Stranger: do u live around alot of niggers?
    You: I used to, but they all "disappeared"
    Stranger: niggers dont just disappear
    You: either someone stole my shotgun, killed them, drove my car for 2 miles and dumped the bodies in the lake
    You: or a new kfc opened
    Stranger: do u like pancakes?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:35 No.10662651
    It's about ambushing random people with games/quests. It's not about meeting some other random /tg/ fag on Omegle and then spamming the thread with your boring, night-long circle jerk. This thread is for funny stories; yours is not funny, it's simply boring.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:37 No.10662664
    >ITT we run games/quests on Omegle and then report the results

    No where in that does it say that they must all be funny.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:39 No.10662684
    You: You're the mighty stranger, heroes of heroes!
    You: You're left all alone at home, with a toaster, a fork, and your computer. What do you do?
    Stranger: ım m
    You: Oh. ):

    this guy is definetly m, not some sort of hero, psh.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:40 No.10662690
    >>10662321 here again. Nobody likes me
    You: Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.

    What will you do?
    Stranger: chimabu yu chyo
    You: You decide to make and ass out of yourself
    You: Your attempt fails
    You: Perhaps you should try it where people can see you
    Stranger: ha ha haha
    Stranger: how to c u
    You: Honestly, it's almost as if you aren't even trying anymore.
    You: You spend the moment typing in a manner most uncomprehendable
    Stranger: what the hell do u think of ur self
    You: You begin to talk to people who really aren't there. is today finally the day? The day when you release yourself from these tormentous bonds of reality and dive head first into madness?
    Stranger: go to tel ur pa to go to hell n fel in the jail
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:40 No.10662693

    Goddamit, omegle. Goddamit.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:49 No.10662791
         File1277207370.jpg-(8 KB, 200x150, bureaucrats.jpg)
    8 KB
    Anon, you are technically correct -- the best kind of correct.

    But to be fair you really are boring the hell out of me and should go away.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:57 No.10662843
    ...is anyone still doing this?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)07:59 No.10662858
    omegle, for when you feel like chatting to the same people who post comments on youtube videos.
    >> AlphaBuns !!GMlr8syY0nJ 06/22/10(Tue)07:59 No.10662859

    I am, but no one cares, so why bother?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)08:00 No.10662861
    After many unsuccesful attempts, I decided to try a different approach - a short conversation first, then suddenly quest. Unfortunately...

    You: Hello, random stranger.
    Stranger: hi
    Stranger: wt's up?
    You: The sky, I believe.
    You: I would have to check, though.
    You: ...yep, it's still the sky. That's good, I think.
    Stranger: .....n..wt do u want to answer me?
    Stranger: ask*
    You: Hah. I feel no need to ask you anything. Why would I.
    Stranger: ....that;s freak..
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    ...I believe I accidentally scared someone. I don't even, gentlemen. I don't even.
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)08:02 No.10662880
    Pretty simple response to that.

    >9001 years old, computer intellect, located in SPACE
    >Are you ready to play?
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)08:04 No.10662901
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)08:30 No.10663254
    This is still on? Awesome!
    >> Anonymous 06/22/10(Tue)08:57 No.10663527
    Whenever I give someone space ships all they want to do is genocide

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