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  • File : 1274947355.jpg-(49 KB, 500x625, 1251396609252.jpg)
    49 KB Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:02 No.10086086  
    Does anyone have a pdf copy of the Scorpions army book from Confrontation? It's a tabletop game by Rackham Games if you didn't know.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:06 No.10086137
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:09 No.10086171
    that shark looks like a good guy to have in my company, i'd like to hire him
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:10 No.10086179
    Its on their website.

    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:10 No.10086184
    For what position?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:11 No.10086198
    marketing and customer service
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:12 No.10086219
    He's an accountant, though. He studied Accountancy & Accounting Law at Cornell.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:13 No.10086234
    i don't have a position open in accounting at the moment though... oh well

    tis a shame
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:15 No.10086253
    He's got three shark kids to feed, man! His CV was a masterpiece!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:17 No.10086280

    Then he should take that Marketing / CS position. C'mon, any moron can run marketing and CS. It'll be a cakewalk.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:18 No.10086300
    I don't know. Does that job have a future? Ira A. Shark doesn't want to get trapped in that kind of pay band.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:19 No.10086310
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:19 No.10086313
    My "business firm" has an "accounting" position open for a shark of his caliber and dapperness.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:20 No.10086327
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:20 No.10086331
    There's something suspicious about you...

    Why does your belt say 'Henry Jones Fish Cannery'?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:20 No.10086335
    50k a year starting, full health coverage and 401k plan

    it's a relatively new chain, only 20 stores

    pay grade rises as more stores open
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:21 No.10086348
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:22 No.10086352
    Because I'm a "legitimate businessman" and you should shut up before I "account" your kneecaps.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:22 No.10086359
    Sharks don't have kneecaps.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:22 No.10086364
    This thread is jawsome.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:23 No.10086372
    A wise guy, aye? Maybe I should have my "legal" division "put you through the ringer" and make you "sleep with the fishes".
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:23 No.10086376
    That's not even innuendo.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:24 No.10086379
    Fine. Ira A. Shark accepts your offer.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:27 No.10086418
    excellent, you start work on monday

    oh yes, before i forget, our stores sell home decorations based on non-euclidean geometry

    so get to work on upselling that
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:28 No.10086429
    That's fine, I had extensive experience with non-euclidian accounts as rector of Miskatonic University.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:28 No.10086435
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:29 No.10086444
    glad to have you aboard Mr. Shark
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:29 No.10086450

    Sir? It's Craig in shipping. That crate of Klein bottle wine decanters we were supposed to be getting in? Well we got the crate, but it's not Klein bottles. It's... well, it's apparently some shovel-wielding individuals in greatcoats and gas masks.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:31 No.10086465

    That's the third time this month.

    Tell the engineers to recalibrate the 4th dimension resolution array, and this time it better stay calibrated!
    >> Shovel-wielding Gas-masked Terrorist 05/27/10(Thu)04:31 No.10086472
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:31 No.10086473
    >klein bottle decanters
    My head now hurts...
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:32 No.10086476
    am I the only one who remembers Shawks?

    always check for gills
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:35 No.10086514
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:37 No.10086543
    They are awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:38 No.10086552

    I would, sir, but there's been something of a SNAFU in engineering. It appears that they won't exist until next Thursday. You want me to call in an outside contractor?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:40 No.10086580

    Fine, call the usual guys.

    Why does this always happen on thursdays? You know they won't be finished today or tomorrow, and that means i'll have to work the weekend, again. My wife is going to kill me.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:43 No.10086616
    Oh yes, before i forget. What was the engineering department playing with this time? I'd like to know so that when the department exists again i can take it away from them and never let it see the light of day, EVER!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:48 No.10086678
    >Why does this always happen on thursdays?

    One of the engineering wonks explained it to me as some sort of confluence of temporal flux yadda yadda blah blah.... I think he was just blowing smoke, and they do it intentionally. Long weekends.


    I believe they were trying to shunt Accounts Payable five years into the future, and Accounts Receivable into last March. That way we'd get the overdue penalties on AR, which would completely cover AP. If I'm recalling correctly, it was YOUR idea, sir.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:50 No.10086692

    Or rather, it WILL be your idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:51 No.10086702
    Didn't I tell you guys not to listen to me when I'm drunk?

    I could have sworn I told you guys not to listen to me when i'm drunk.

    Oh god, I hate this job, I need a drink.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)04:57 No.10086761

    Sorry, sir. When I saw your planning doc, your writing seemed quite legible. Then again, the fact that it was written on a dead hooker should've been a red flag.

    Speaking of, Jenkins in Dead Hooker Disposal says the department's way over quota for the month, and we're looking at a serious budget crunch if we don't cut back. Maybe we should talk to Engineering when they re-exist, see if they have a spare Schrödinger apparatus laying around. BAM, no more dead hooker, and we won't have to keep bothering Procurement for more live ones. Two birds with one stone.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:00 No.10086797
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:02 No.10086817
    Sounds good, make it classy, we can sell them off for a profit afterwards.

    Speaking of Schrödinger apparati, have we worked out the bugs in the uncertainty collapse?

    If we can get that working properly we can build our isohedrical chairs so they won't eat occupants, and I'd really like our chairs to bring us repeat customers, as opposed to one off sales.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:05 No.10086838
    Hey guys, you remember that rival company we shunted into an alternate reality last year? Yeah, they're back. And now they have crabman accountants.
    >> Ira A. Shark 05/27/10(Thu)05:07 No.10086861
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:07 No.10086866
    Crap, and our engineering department is gone for the week, so we can't count on them shunting it off again for a while.

    Do we still have tabs on that group of psionic squid? They may want a taste of some fresh crab men.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:08 No.10086867
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:09 No.10086879
    You hate crabmen? excellent, how would you like a $15k a year raise and having charge of our anti-supra-dimensional visitors department?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:10 No.10086892
         File1274951424.jpg-(115 KB, 483x505, flumph.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:16 No.10086956

    Garzag the Filthy in Hyperspatial Troubleshooting actually figured that one out. Turns out, all they needed was an eigenstate anchor a piece, and no more ceased customers. It's all of a $3 fix.

    Hiring those Torian Time Eaters was a brilliant idea, sir. Hard-working, proactive, and cost us effectively nothing. Well, the natural lifespans of celebrities, but they weren't using them in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:20 No.10087018
    What a coincidence. Christopher Lloyd is holding on lines 1, 3, 7, and 11. He would like to have a word with a supervisor. Shall I patch him through?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:23 No.10087048
    Hot damn! About time something went right with this company, set up a discount on any two items purchased with one of our chairs.

    Also is there anyway we can convince the torians to eat the lifespans of celebrities we hate first?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:25 No.10087077
    Uhh... i think i'll let customer service handle that one.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:25 No.10087085
         File1274952340.gif-(54 KB, 320x240, 1267004292069.gif)
    54 KB
    Though it's been a while since I helped draft their contract, I believe allowing them free discretion was part of the stipulation that let us get them so cheap.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:27 No.10087105
    RIght-o. He says he's in a hurry, as he has Michael J. Fox on the other line, and he keeps hanging up by accident.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:27 No.10087111
    Renegotiate with the Teamsters Union, tell them to switch the conditions or we take away the free resfreshments at meetings and start hiring Apodoxian Hyper-Frogs.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:28 No.10087125
    Oh well, was just a passing fancy anyways

    they're good enough with the fiddly bits that i wouldn't want to even try to renegotiate such a cost effective contract
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:29 No.10087142
    Your inverse twin is popping up again, sir. Should I get security?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:31 No.10087162

    Patch him through to Paradoxes. They won't be able to help him, so they'll solve his problem.


    Besides, they're working through the backstock right now. The 27 Club should keep them busy for a while. Did you know Kurt Cobain was supposed to die from emphysema at age 84? Funny how things work out.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:31 No.10087164
    That sounds like a good idea. I am thinking it might give us some leeway to bring up the cross-promotion that's being done with some of the celebrities that are interested in contracting with us. Would it be appropriate to test this job with Mister Ira A. Shark?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:32 No.10087184
    Indeed, and stop storing my beer in the same fridge that the quantuum researchers store their test items, I don't care how much longer it makes them stay frosty.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:33 No.10087185
         File1274952784.jpg-(4 KB, 112x124, 1262418767316.jpg)
    4 KB
    >They won't be able to help him, so they'll solve his problem.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:36 No.10087233
    With all due respect, sir, I really don't see how this is bothering you. For every one that winks out of existence another one pops into existence somewhere else, just as frosty. There's only a mildly typical tendency for it to appear somewhere completely unknown to any of us.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:36 No.10087234
    so, is anyone else thinking "quest based on the trials and tribulations of an owner of a non-euclidic decorative knick-knack store chain"?

    cause if so, i may start one up, after i sleep
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:37 No.10087248
    Yes, but the multiple temporal clones issue gets annoying after a while.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:37 No.10087256
    You really shouldn't encourage him.
    Yes, sir.
    Oh, and that sentient energy cloud from Carcosa is waiting in the executive lounge. We're not sure what it wants.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:39 No.10087283
    I've got time right now, bring me my faraday suit, I'll meet with it after I change.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:40 No.10087297

    Then there was the time it appeared where Richards' liver was supposed to be, can and all. Fun times.


    If it's anything like last time, it'll be something about "THINGS UNKNOWABLE AND INSCRUTABLE TO PUNY BEINGS OF MATTER". Y'know, a kickback.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:40 No.10087309
    >If it's anything like last time, it'll be something about "THINGS UNKNOWABLE AND INSCRUTABLE TO PUNY BEINGS OF MATTER". Y'know, a kickback.

    Line so stolen.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:52 No.10087410
    I am sure various GURPS sourcebooks can help out here, if you were looking to extrapolate all this into an actual campaign after a quest thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)05:54 No.10087420
    I wouldn't be surprised, now I just need a group to do it with, my normal group wouldn't get into it all that well.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)06:14 No.10087611

    I'd play it and love the hell out of it. A word of warning, though: the sciencey types will be on you like stank on a hambeast if you don't know your wacky esoteric theoretical stuffs.

    Oh, and you should name the place Pier √−1. And if you don't get that joke, you DEFINITELY shouldn't run it.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)06:21 No.10087692
    I was planning on technobabble, which i can do pretty well since doing more than that would require research

    especially where you're working almost completely with non-euclidean math, since nobody actually knows any
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)11:31 No.10090950
    Does this deserve archiving?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)11:33 No.10090968
    Shark always needs archiving.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/10(Thu)11:54 No.10091275


    Apparently, suptg doesn't like the phrase "Pier √−1".

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