rolled 1, 1, 9 = 11

YES SIR

rolled 7, 2, 4 = 13

>>7222642
THOSE FUCKING HIGH PREMIUMS WE'RE PAYING, AND THEY CAN'T HAVE ONE DAMNED SOUL REPRESENTATIVE SHOW UP

CONDO BOARD I AM DISAPPOINT

>>7222700
SOME SKANKY DAEMONETTE BITCH SHOWS UP. THINKS SHE CAN GET OUT OF AN ASS KICKING CAUSE SHE HAS TITS.

OH, NOW SHE'S QUOTING SOMETHING ABOUT THE "CONDO OWNER'S RIGHTS" AND MORMON HELL'S LIABILITY WHEN IT COMES TO CONDO PLACEMENT NEXT TO THE LAKE OF FIRE. FUCK THAT NOISE.

ROLL 6d66 TO DETERMINE HOW WE MAKE HER SHUT THE HELL UP

LEAVE HELL IN PURE ANGRY RAGE
DICKPUNCH ANY MOTHERFUCKER THAT GETS IN THE WAY

rolled 14, 25, 32, 22, 37, 37 = 167

>>7222772

IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE, WILLIAMS?

>>7222782
YOU PUNCH HER LIGHTS OUT AND SHE DISAPPEARS IN A FLASH OF BRIMSTONE. THAT'LL SHOW HER NOT TO MESS WITH A MAN.

>>7222777
YOU STALK OUT OF YOUR SHITTY CONDO (LITERALLY, ITS MADE OUT OF SHIT) AND START WALKING AIMLESSLY DUE WEST. YOUR NEIGHBORS LOOK OUTSIDE, BUT DON'T FOLLOW. A HELLHOUND BARKS AT YOU FROM A YARD, AND YOU PUNCH IT IN THE DICK. IT HAS QUIETED DOWN SOME.

YOU ARE CURRENTLY WALKING DUE WEST DOWN HELLFIRE BLVD. YOU ARE COMING UP ON THE INTERSECTION OF HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE.

>>7222830
FUCK THIS FIRE AND BRIMSTONE SHIT
WE NEED SOME MOTHERFUCKING WATER GODDAMIT
IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO GET SOME GODDAM WATER

>>7222862
TURNS OUT IT IS. ROLL 2d22 TO FIND SOME GODDAMNED WATER, SINCE YOU CAN'T FIND ANY THAT IS GODBLESSED IN HELL.

>>7222884
NO FUCK YOUR DICE ROLLAN SHIT, I'M GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HELL.

rolled 15, 11 = 26

"When you're thirsty you drink fire, and then you're hungry you eat a root that makes you thirsty for more FLIPPIN FIRE! IT'S CRAZY WHAT I HAVE SET UP DOWN THERE!"

>>7222913
FUCK THE WATER, WE'LL GO SWIMMING IN A GODDAMN POOL ONCE WE'RE OUT OF FUCKING MORMON HELL. YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GO TO THE GOOD HELL, YOU GOT SENT TO SOME THIRD-RATE BACKWATER HELL WHERE THE CONDO BOARD CAN'T EVEN PUT YOU NEAR THE FUCKING LAKE OF FIRE

FUCK THAT SHIT

YOU CONTINUE HEADING WEST DOWN HELLFIRE BLVD. YOU SEE A BLACK HEARSE WITH FLAMES COMING OUT THE EXHAUST PIPE MOVING TOWARDS YOU ON THE STREET.

THE HELLHOUND YOU DICKPUNCHED BEFORE IS NOW FOLLOWING YOU. APPARENTLY IT NOW RESPECTS THE BALLS YOU HAD FOR PUNCHING IT, AND YOU ARE NOW ITS NEW MASTER.

>>7222959
FUCKING FINALLY SOMEBODY FOLLOWS THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS!
DOES THIS MEAN THAT DEMON-SLUT WE CUNT PUNCHED EARLIER WHILE FOLLOW US TOO?
ALSO RAP ON HEARSE DOOR, DEMAND DIRECTIONS OUT OF HELL BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET BACK TO OUR WIFE AND WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT.
WE NEVER FINISHED FUCKING BEFORE GETTING KILLED BY THE GODDAM POTATO THING GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT

>>7222959
NAME IT SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK

SUMMON A COLLAR OF PURE RAGE FOR HIM

From somewhere... a message comes out to you.

'HEY YOU BUMBLEDICK, I SURE HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING THE HORRIFIC TORTURES YOU'RE CURRENTLY SUBJECTED TO. I'M GOING TO RAPE THE PLANET, STARTING WITH YOUR WIFE. I'M NOT SURE IF I WANT TO HIJACK HER BRAIN AND SEE ALL THE PISSPOOR SEX SHE HAS EVER HAD WITH YOU OR IF I WANT TO PUT HER OUT OF HER FUCKING MISERY OF HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR SHITTY ASS COMPANY AWFUL MANAGEMENT SKILLS, EAT A DICK

-POTATO'

>>7223039
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

THAT'S FUCKING IT. WE ARE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HELL, RETURN FROM DEATH, GO HOME, FUCK OUR WIFE, AND MAKE POTATO SALAD OUT OF THAT GODDAM POTATO.
IN THAT FUCKING ORDER

>>7223039
IF I SEE THAT FUCKING POTATO ONE MORE GODDAMNED TIME, I'M GONNA HAVE TO INFLICT BODILY HARM ON SOMEBODY.

>>7222988
YOU CALL THE HELLHOUND TO YOU AND NAME IT SERGEANT DICKBITING FUCK. IT HAS A COLLAR, WHICH YOU TEAR OFF, AND USING THE POWER OF YOUR RAGE YOU CHANGE THE NAME ON THE TAG TO SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK

>>7222985
YOU RAP ON THE HEARSE DOOR, AND THE WINDOW ROLLS DOWN. YOU SEE SOMEBODY IN A NICE BUSINESS SUIT WITH HORNS ON HIS HEAD.

ROLL 7d77 TO SEE HOW THE DEMON REACTS AND IF WE GET FUCKING DIRECTIONS OUT OF HELL.

rolled 58, 27, 51, 43, 6, 65, 51 = 301

>>7223128
LETS GET THIS FUCKING SHOW ON THE ROAD

IF THE DEMON DOESN'T GIVE US DIRECTIONS, WE WILL PULL HIS ASS OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR AND JUST DRIVE OUT OF HELL OURSELVES. PUSSIES DON'T GET HIGH UP IN BOARDROOMS; WE MUST BE A MAN OF ACTION

>>7223128
THIS HAD BETTER FUCKING WORK

>>7223171
IS THAT GOOD OR WHAT?
IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD, OR ELSE WE ARE GOING TO FUCK THIS DICE ROLLING SHIT AND SKIP STRAIGHT TO DICK PUNCHING

>>7223074
YOUR RAGE COALESCES INTO A BLACK, FROTHING MIRE, FROM WHICH SKELETAL BEINGS OF PURE MALEVOLENCE ARE STIRRING.

IN OTHER WORDS, YOU ARE FUCKING PISSED.

YOU ARE GOING TO RETURN FROM DEATH, GO HOME, FUCK YOUR WIFE, AND MAKE POTATO SALAD OUT OF THAT GODDAM POTATO.
IN THAT FUCKING ORDER

>>7223171
THE DEMON GASPS IN SURPRISE AND CALLS OUT TO YOU. YOU RECOGNIZE HIM NOW AS BARRY, THE DEMON WHO HOSTED LAST YEAR'S CEO SUMMIT IN HAWAII.

BARRY GIVES YOU DIRECTIONS OUT OF HELL AND EVEN OFFERS TO GIVE YOU A RIDE TO THE GATE. HOWEVER, THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU, BARRY, AND SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK IN THE CAR, SO IF YOU TAKE THE CAR YOU MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR HELLHOUND BEHIND. HOW DO YOU PROCEED?

HEY OP, WHAT IS THE FUCKING HOLD UP?
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET INBETWEEN US SAVING OUR WIFE AND KIDS FROM POTATO TENTACLE RAPE OR SOMETHING?

>>7223246
IS THAT EVEN A FUCKING QUESTION?

PUNCH BARRY'S DICK, PUT SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK IN BARRY'S SEAT, TAKE BARRY'S CAR, AND RIDE OUT OF HELL IN FUCKING STYLE.

>>7223272
YOU PUNCH BARRY IN THE DICK AND HE DOUBLES OVER. YOU TAKE HIM OUT OF THE CAR AND KICK HIM IN THE BALLS FOR GOOD MEASURE, THEN STRAP SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK IN BARRY'S SEAT. YOU FLOOR IT, AND ARE NOW HEADING TOWARDS THE GATE AT EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR. T

HE GATE IS NOW HALF A MILE AWAY.

ROLL 1d20 TO SEE HOW FUCKING HARD THAT GATE IS.

>>7223251
FUCK YEAH, NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH FUCKING GASOLINE!
TAKE CAR, CRASH THROUGH GATES OF HELL
LIKE A BOSS

>>7223305
THAT WAS ME, IF YOU COULDN'T TELL BY THE ALL CAPS

I WAS SO FUCKING ANGRY AT THE GATE I FORGOT MY OWN FUCKING NAME

rolled 14 = 14

>>7223305
FUCKING GATE!

>>7223322
>>7223246
FUCK THAT FUCKING GATE AND THAT GODDAM POTATO!

rolled 2 = 2

>>7223305
RAM THAT FUCKER

LETS GO BACK TO THE PRESENT, BITCHES

>>7223347
FUCK THAT SHIT! GO BACK TO THE FUCKING FUTURE, WHERE OUR CORPORATION IS LAW. LIKE THAT FUCKING TV SHOW OUR FUCKING WIFE MADE US WATCH WITH OUR FUCKING KIDS A FEW YEARS AGO.

HURRY THE FUCK UP OP, WE HAVE TO SAVE OUR GODDAM FAMILY FROM A GODDAM POTATO

>>7223322
YOU RAM THE GATE AND IT BOWS OUTWARDS. AFTER DRIVING IN DARKNESS FOR A WHILE, YOU COME OUT IN THE BASEMENT OF SOME FUCKING MORMON CHURCH, SINCE YOU WERE IN MORMON HELL.

YOU DRIVE UP THE STAIRS (THEY ARE PRETTY WIDE STAIRS) AND OUT THE FRONT DOOR; YOU RECOGNIZE THE AREA, BUT IT IS ABOUT TEN MILES FROM YOUR HOUSE

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK IS COWERING IN THE FRONT AND HAS SHAT ON THE ITALIAN LEATHER SEATING. FUCKING HELLHOUNDS.

YOU START DRIVING TOWARDS YOUR HOUSE. DO YOU TAKE MAPLE STREET OR GO DOWN EUCLID AVENUE?

>>7223376
WHICH EVER ONE GETS US TO OUR HOUSE FASTER
IN FACT, FUCK STREETS, STREETS ARE FOR FUCKING PUSSIES, DRIVE OVER PERSONAL PROPERTY!
LIKE A FUCKING BOSS

>>7223272
FUCK THAT NOISE

PUNCH BARRY'S DICK, HAVE SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK FEAST ON THE WORTHLESS BASTARD'S DELICIOUS ORGAN MEATS, USE BARRY'S CORPSE AS A HOOD ORNAMENT ON OUR PIMPIN' NEW RIDE.

>>7223410
FUCK THAT. THE SHORTEST WAY BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS A STRAIGHT LINE. FUCK THE HOUSES, FUCK THE GARDENS, FUCK THE WALLS, WE HAVE A CAR FROM FUCKING HELL, DRIVE STRAIGHT FUCKING HOME AND FUCK THAT POTATO INTO SALAD.

>>7223425
LET SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK OUT TO EAT PEOPLE'S SOULS AND FUCK THEIR BITCHES, THAT SHOULD CHEER HIM UP

>>7223454
YOU LET SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK OUT OF THE CAR AND HE GOES CHASING AFTER SOME FUCKING DOBERMAN BITCH (LITERALLY). LOOKS LIKE HE'S A RANDY BASTARD.

>>7223439
>>7223425
YOU DRIVE DOWN EUCLID (OR RATHER, THROUGH EUCLID), CUTTING FOUR MILES OFF OF YOUR TRAVEL DISTANCE.

THE FRONT OF THE HELL HEARSE IS BANGED UP TO SHIT, BUT IT IS STILL HOLDING. YOUR GAS TANK IS FINE.

ROLL 1d66 FOR RANDOM OBSTACLES THAT GET IN YOUR WAY, BECAUSE GOD DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE GETTING OUT OF HELL (EVEN IF IT WAS SHITTY MORMON HELL).

rolled 19 = 19

FUCK YOU GOD!

rolled 3 = 3

FUCK CELESTIAL INTEREFERENCE, WE NEED TO SAVE OUR FAMILY

Angry CEO I missed you so much

Where would we be without your inspiring and very enthusiastic leadership?

rolled 41 = 41

>>7223492
WAIT YOUR TURN, GOD

FIRST THE WIFE, THEN THE POTATO, AND THEN WE COME UP THERE TO FUCK YOU UP TOO

rolled 6 = 6

>>7223507
FUCK THAT SAVE THE WORLD

AND OUR FUCKING COMPANY IN THE PROCESS

>>7223500
GOT PUTS A FUCKING TREE IN YOUR WAY

OUT
OF
FUCKING
NOWHERE

YOU CRASH THE HELL HEARSE, AND IT IS ALMOST SPLIT IN HALF. YOU, HOWEVER, GET AWAY WITH ONLY A MINOR CONCUSSION.

YOU ARE STILL HALF A MILE AWAY FROM YOUR HOME. YOU START RUNNING AS IF SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK WAS RUNNING AFTER YOU.

WHAT WILL BE YOUR FIRST ACTION ONCE YOU GET INSIDE YOUR HOUSE?

>>7223545
SAVE OUR DAUGHTER FROM POTATO MIND CONTROL

rolled 8 = 8

>>7223545
KILL THAT FUCKING POTATO WHEN HE UNFUCKINGDOUBTABLY COMES AFTER US WHEN WE'RE FUCKING OUR WIFE SENSELESS

rolled 20 = 20

>>7223545
DESTROY VILE POTATO

RENDER ITS STARCH INTO SUGARS WHICH WE CAN LICK OFF OUR WIFE'S NAKED BODY WHEN WE FUCK HER THROUGH THE TABLE

CHANGE OF PLANS, WIFE FUCKING COMES LATER
POTATO FUCKING STARTS NOW!

rolled 39 = 39

>>7223545
HAVE SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK RAPE POTATO INTO COWED SUBMISSION

THEN USE ONE HAND TO PAT HELLHOUND, ONE HAND TO GRIND POTATO INTO STARCHY RUIN, AND ONE PENIS TO FUCK WIFE SENSELESS

FUCK THIS RUNNING SHIT

>>7223553

FUCK YOU COCKSUCKERS!

SHE'S OURS NOW.

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

>>7223545
FUCK. WE NEED TO FIND HIM OUR HOUSE. CHANNEL OUR RAGE INTO RADAR TUNED INTO HIM AND ALL HIS FUCKING FOOD ALLIES. BURN THEM TO ASHES WITH OUR HATRED. SAVE OUR FUCKING FAMILY. WE RAGE BECAUSE WE LOVE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.

>>7223624
NOT IF WE HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, CUNTMUNCHER

>>7223629
FUCK YOU KEYBOARD, WRITE WHAT I MEAN NOT WHAT I TYPE. WE NEED A WAY TO FIND IT WITHIN OUR HOUSE. CAN'T HAVE THE LITTLE PIG FUCKER HIDING SOMEWHERE CAN WE?

>>7223652
NO, FURYMIND CONFIRMS COCKSUCKING POTATO IS ATTEMPTING TO ESCAPE HOUSE WITH DAUGHTER, OUR GOD FUCKING DAUGHTER, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

>>7223568
>>7223555
YOU BARGE INTO THE FUCKING KITCHEN THROUGH YOUR BACK DOOR, OPEN A DRAWER, AND TAKE OUT A FUCKING KITCHEN FORK

SHITS ON NOW.

YOUR DAUGHTER RUNS BY YOU, BUT YOU DON'T PAY HER ANY MIND. PROBABLY GOING TO SOME FRIENDS HOUSE OR SOME SHIT. WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO, LIKE FIND THE POTATO AND FIND OUR WIFE.

WAIT... DID SHE RUN OUT OF HERE CARRYING A FUCKING POTATO SACK

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

NEXT COURSE OF ACTION, AND 7d10 TO DETERMINE HOW FUCKING PISSED WE ARE

GODFUCKING DAMMIT, THAT POTATO IS STARTING TO TICK ME OFF

rolled 4, 10, 6, 8, 4, 4, 4 = 40

>>7223668
LEAP UPON HER WITH ADRENALINE FUELED RAGE

DESTROY POTATO SACK

FUCK HER BACK TO HER SENSES

>>7223664
OH NO HE FUCKING DIDN'T! THAT SHIT EATING EXCUSE FOR A SPUD. WHEN WE FIND THEM THERE WILL BE SERIOUS PUNISHMENT FOR DOING THIS MAKE NO MISTAKE.

>>7223690
......pervert

rolled 7, 4, 6, 6, 2, 10, 7 = 42

>>7223668
SON IS APPARENTLY PREPARED FOR ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

ONCE WIFE SUBDUED AND RECLAIMED, USE HIS SUPPLIES TO PURGE THE POTATO WITH CLEANSING FLAME

There is so much anger here.

>>7223690
BY THE POWER OF OUR RIGHTOUS FURY WE WILL SAVE OUR DAUGHTER, THAT CUNTGUZZILING POTATO WILL ROUX THIS DAY.
BECAUSE WE WILL TURN HIM INTO A BASE FOR SOUP

>>7223717
YOU'RE GOD FUCKING RIGHT WE'RE ANGRY,
WE GOT KILLED BY A GODDAM POTATO THAT'S TRYING TO RAPE OUR DAUGHTER

I HAVE JUST SAPPED THE POTATO'S WILL WITH MY DICE-ROLLING TECHNIQUES

VICTORY WILL BE OURS

>>7223746
AND WE ENDED UP IN MORMON HELL

IT'S LIKE REGULAR HELL, EXCEPT A BILLION TIMES MORE PATHETIC

>>7223746
Do you want to talk about it? How do you think this experience will affect /tg/ on a personal level?

>>7223763
NO TIME, WE HAVE A POTATO TO MASH AND A WIFE TO FUCK

>>7223770
I understand. Perhaps another time then.

I WAS SO FUCKING ANGRY AT THAT GODDAMN SPUD I HAD TO GO TAKE A PISS.

>>7223690
YOU ARE SO FUCKING ANGRY YOU SLAM YOUR HAND DOWN ON THE KITCHEN TABLE, BREAKING ONE OF THE LEGS... AND SENDING THE BLOWTORCH CLATTERING TO THE FLOOR.

IT IS DENTED, BUT IT STILL LOOKS LIKE IT WILL WORK.

YOUR WIFE WALKS IN, AND YOU TAKE A ONE MINUTE BREAK TO GIVE HER HOT DICKINGS

YOU HAVE FINISHED DICKING YOUR WIFE, AND NOW SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK THE HELLHOUND IS AT YOUR BACKDOOR, LOOKING QUITE PLEASED WITH HIMSELF.

YOU HAVE A BLOWTORCH, A KITCHEN FORK, AND A HELLHOUND

WHAT DO YOU DO NOW

>>7223763
IT WILL FUEL A CRUSADE AGAINST ROOT-VEGETABLE KIND THAT WILL LAST MILLENIA, HOW DO YOU FUCKING THINK IT WILL END?

>>7223777
HAVE HELLHOUND ASSIMILATE BLOWTORCH TO OBTAIN FIRE BREATH

OUTFIT OURSELVES WITH GRATER AND POTATO MALLET

GO MASH A FUCKING POTATO

>>7223778
Perhaps that will be how it affects the world. But how about you? How will it affect you?

>>7223800
I don't think it will affect /tg/ on a deeply personal level . I think it is letting us vent our rage in a constructive manner... MAINLY POUNDING THAT FUCKING POTATO INTO PASTE

>>7223777
WE GIVE FUCKING CHASE. NO MATTER WHERE THE FUCKER GOES, NO MATTER WHERE HE HIDES, WE WILL FIND HIM AND REDUCE HIM TO HIS BASE COMPONENTS. HAVE SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK FOLLOW THE FUCKING TRAIL. HE'S A FUCKING DOG FROM FUCKING HELL, HE CAN FIND THEM WITH HIS KEEN NOSE OR SOME SHIT.

>>7223829
Well it is good to hear that you are directing your anger into something safe and worthwhile.

SHIT

SPORETATO BEHIND THE COUCH

SEARCH AND DESTROY

>>7223881
STOP META-GAMING.

>>7223799
WHAT KIND OF A PUSSY HELLHOUND DOESN'T HAVE FIRE BREATH ALREADY DIPSHIT? DON'T WASTE THE BLOWTORCH.

>>7223799
YOU FEED SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK THE BLOWTORCH. NOTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN, EVEN WHEN HE YAWNS, BUT JUST WHEN YOU ARE REGRETTING FEEDING HIM THE BLOWTORCH HE FARTS AND A PLUME OF FLAME THREE FEET LONG COMES OUT OF THE HELLHOUND'S ASS

FUCKING AWESOME.

YOU GRAB A GRATER AND A POTATO MALLET, PLACING THE GRATER OVER THE FRONT OF YOUR PANTS SO YOU CAN GRATE THAT POTATO WHILE YOU FUCK HIM IN THE ASS. YOU NOW HAVE A MALLET IN YOUR LEFT HAND AND A FORK IN YOUR RIGHT HAND.

YOUR WIFE LOOKS TERRIFIED OF THE HELLHOUND. WHAT DO YOU TELL HER TO DO?

>>7223892
WE BROKE OUT OF FUCKING HELL

WE JUST ADD THE FOURTH WALL TO THE LIST OF THINGS WE FUCK INTO OBLIVION

IN-CHARACTER THREAD HIJACK


ROLL 1D100 OPPOSED WILL CHECK YOU FUCKERS

>>7223902
MAYBE SHE WOULDN'T BE SO AFRAID IF SHE HAD... CLOSER RELATIONS WITH IT.

>>7223902
BARRICADE THE DOOR

DEFEND OUR FAMILY'S HONOR AGAINST VEGETABLE ASSAULT

WE WILL GO POTATO HUNTING WITH OUR PET HELLBEAST

rolled 40 = 40

­

>>7223902
I TELL MY WIFE TO IGNORE THE FUCKING HELLHOUND AND STAY IN THE DICKGOBBLING KITCHEN WHERE HER PLACE IS! SHE WILL SURELY CALM DOWN WHEN SHE GOES BACK TO MAKING SAMMICHES OR WHATEVER THE FUCK BITCHES DO IN THE KITCHEN!

>>7223918
FUCK YOU POTATO!

rolled 81 = 81

>>7223918
FUCK YOU POTATO

FUCK YOU RIGHT AND PROPER

rolled 68 = 68

>>7223918
FUCK YOU POTATO

MALLETSMAAAAAAAAAAAASH

Welcome to the hive, Angry Man.

>Potato rolls 65
>CEO rolls 40

WELL WAY TO FUCKING GO

THE FUCKPOTATO NOW HAS CONTROL OVER YOUR ACTIONS

SHIT

>>7223975
THAT FUCKING SPORETATO

OUR RAGE WON'T BE FOUGHT THROUGH THAT FUCKING EASILY

1d100 TO HAVE SERGEANT DICKBITINGFUCK BITE THAT FUCKING SHIT OFF OF US.

>>7223991
What. Dog why are you eating potatoes?

You don't eat potatoes.

You don't even have molars. You're a dog!

rolled 52 = 52

>>7223975
FUCK THAT

OUR RAGE CAN NOT BE SLAKED BY SPORES ALONE

WE SHALL BREAK FREE AND SMASH THAT FUCKING POTATO OURSELVES

OR HAVE OUR PET HELLBEAST DO IT, WHATEVER

>>7223975
GODCOCKMCFUCKING DAMNIT! GET OFFA ME POTATO! USE OUR RAGE TO BURN THE FUCKPOTATOS MIND WHEN HE TRIES TO CONTROL US!

>>7223991
HE USES SPORES

YOU CAN'T BITE OFF THINGS YOU INHALE

THEY WORK ON A ONE TARGET AT A TIME BASIS THOUGH, SO HAVE THE HELLHOUND FUCK SHIT UP GOOD FOR THOSE EDIBLE BASTARDS

THEY HAVE WON THE BATTLE, BUT FUCK THOSE COCKS

rolled 29 = 29

>>7223991
FUCK!

HEY SHITBITCH

RIP YOUR BALLS OFF

WE'RE THE POTATO, SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT FAGGOT

rolled 16 = 16

>>7224030
HE'S A FUCKING HELLBEAST THAT WE CLAIMED MASTERY OVER BY PUNCHING HIM IN THE DICK

HE BITES WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT HIM TO BITE

THAT'S JUST HOW THE TWO OF US ROLL

>>7224010
FUCKING HELLHOUND

ALL HE DOES IS WALK AROUND US AND PISS ON THE FUCKING LINOLEUM. ITS ACID PISS, BUT THAT DOESN'T DO US ANY FUCKING GOOD IF ITS NOT ON THE GODDAMN SPORETATO

WE ARE UNDER SPORETATO'S CONTROL, BUT WE'RE FUCKING FIGHTING IT EVERY GODDAMN STEP OF THE WAY.

1d100 EVERY TIME I POST TO HAVE OUR RAGE BOIL OVER AND MAKE THAT FUCKING SPORETATO EXPLODE FROM OUR HATE

>>7224056
Oh my. But... Aren't you under total potato control? Which means he bites what the potato wants him to bite.

>>7224058

rolled 31 = 31

>>7224058
FUCK!

>>7224059
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY BOARDS, WE'RE WORKING HERE

rolled 95 = 95

>>7224058
FUCK THIS SHIT

OUR BALLS SHALL REMAIN OUR OWN

THAT POTATO WILL PAY

WE SHALL TAKE HIS HIVEMIND AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP HIS ASS

>>7224033
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

ITT:

"I SHOT YOU!"

"NUH-UH!"

>>7224076
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

WE HEAR OURSELVES TALKING (BUT ITS NOT REALLY OURSELVES), TELLING SERGEANT DICKBITING FUCK TO BITE OFF OUR DONG

FUCK

HE'S GETTING CLOSER. HE'S GOT HIS HEAD IN YOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

YOU DID IT YOU FUCK

PLUS THE DOG ATE THE REMAINS

AHAHAHA SHIT I BET THAT HURT

>>7224108
SHUT YOUR SHITPUCKING MOUTH MAGGOT WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING IMPORTANT HERE.

NAMELY GRABBING THAT POTATO, RIPPING HIS ROOTS OFF AND SHOVING HIM UP YOUR ASS.

rolled 88 = 88

>>7224144
FUCK THAT, ROLLING TO SEE IF OUR RAGE MAKES US IGNORE THIS SHIT

rolled 81 = 81

>>7224149
FUCK YOU

EXPLODE, YOU FUCKING SPORETATO

>>7224162
OH YEAH, DIDN'T OP SAY THAT WE ROLL AFTER EACH OF HIS POSTS? THAT 88 COUNTS!

>>7224162
YOU EXPLODE THE FUCKING SPORETATO

HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, YOU FUCKING COcksuc....

FUCKING GREAT. YOU'RE PASSING OUT FROM FUCKING BLOODLOSS.

YOUR WIFE CARRIES YOU OVER TO THE COUCH, BUT IS TOO FUCKING SCARED TO CALL 911. SHE BANDAGES OUR BLEEDING CROTCH AREA AND PUTS ICEPACKS ON THE AREA

WE ARE NOW KNOCKED OUT FOR ABOUT AN HOUR TO AN HOUR AND A HALF FROM THE FUCKING PAIN. PAIN PILLS AIN'T TAKING THE FUCKING EDGE OFF OF HAVING OUR BALLS GET MUNCHED BY OUR PET HELLHOUND.

HEY YOU FAGGOTS

DON'T HURT THE SPORETATO

SERIOUSLY

THEN GO TO SLEEP

DO IT YOU SHIT

Meh. This is lame. It reminds me of why I stopped roleplaying on the internet. People who need their characters to always win makes for boring stories.

I'm going to go make origami animals now. Maybe even an origami penis or two if I can figure out how.

>>7224237
OH YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER POTATO WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU WON'T EVEN BE FUCKING EDIBLE, DICKBITINGFUCK IS GONNA BE SHITTING YOU OUT AFTER HE COUGHS UP OUR FUCKING DICK just fin...

zzzz

>>7224237
TOO FUCKING LATE. IT'S DEAD ALREADY FROM OUR HATRED.

>>7224237
HEY BUTTMUNCH! WE TOOK YOUR FUCKING SPORETATO AND TURNED IT INTO POTATOMASH! AND GUESS WHAT YOU'RE NEXT!

ATTEMPT TO ASSIMILATE THE POTATO GRATER TO TAKE ON THE ROLE OF MY DICK! LET'S RAPE THE FUCKING POTATO TO A "PUREE" DEATH!

>>7224237
YOU ARE TRAPPED IN YOUR FUCKING MIND, WRACKED WITH PAIN... THEN YOU GET A FUCKING FEELING THAT YOU AREN'T ALONE IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HEAD

SHITNIPPLES, THE FUCKING SPORETATO SURVIVED

AND NOW WE'RE TRAPPED, STRAPPED DOWN, AND THE FUCKING MUTANT POTATO THING IS GETTING AWAY WITH OUR FUCKING DAUGHTER

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>7224214
GUESS WHAT

HALLUCINATION

FISSION MAILED

SPORETATO LIVES FUCKERS

Sorry man, but whenever it came down to it I made an opposed roll in both threads, however I must object to doing things like this, because it does just feel ridiculous. Without dice and stats all tabletop RPGs are just people being Mary Sues and never being killable. Everyone has a chance to win or die, so when doing things like this, please at least ask for an opposed roll in the PotatoQuest thread. Thanks.

>>7224315
Yeah, I get that. I just got too involved in the rage. I did backpedal and say that the sporetato survived our rage-nuking. Also, we are down, bleeding out, and OUR FUCKING WIFE ISN'T CALLING THE FUCKING AMBULANCE

WHEN WE GET UP THAT BITCH IS GONNA GET RAzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Is this the end of our Angry Hero? D=

>>7224365
He survived hell, a mormon hell, but hell nonetheless.
He WILL be back and FULL OF RAGE when he wakes up.

AngryCorp has been Archived for great RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE