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  • File : 1261192797.jpg-(43 KB, 300x430, mirkwood-lee[1].jpg)
    43 KB OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)22:19 No.7196295  
    Hello, everyone. Sorry for the delay, although the make-up session was a few days ago, I've been having computer troubles and couldn't reach my logs until now. Needless to say, I wanted to give you well-written posts, and needed my logs for accuracy. Forgive me if I'm slightly bombastic, /tg/, I still can't believe how well this is going.

    This is the continuation of the Elf-Murdering Threads 1 and 2, available right here:

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7028072
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7161903

    Read the intro post of the first thread, at least, if you're unfamiliar, so you know what the background is.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:21 No.7196308
    SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)22:21 No.7196313
    Before I begin, a quick explanation of the cellar in which the Captain of the Royal Elvish Guard is being kept. The cellar beneath the once-human manor assigned to us in the depths of the Elvish forest near their capital is a long, rectangular room, almost a square. It is lined with small rooms here and there. At one end, viewed longways, is the staircase leading into the cellar. On the other end, and to the left near the corner are some manacles driven into the floor and welded in place by my magic. The Captain of the Elvish Royal Guard is an Eladrin, so we blindfolded him, and put his arms together in a sort of metal sleeve behind his back, so he can't remove the blindfold and teleport around. The manacles are attached one to the wrist portion of the sleeve, and one around one of his ankles, to make it difficult for him to stand up and get leverage. One large Magic Circle against Fey (Ritual in the PHB) covers most of the room except the corners and part of the end near the stairs. A second, much smaller, Magic Circle against Fey is around the Captain, with him at its center, and goes all the way to the nearest corner, so that the two Circles have a substantial interlap. Wooden shelves, two or three columns of them and many rows, fill the room, holding wine bottles (I have moved several out, as my character pretends sometimes to have something of a drinking problem). Eyes of Warning (ritual in the PHB, misidentified as Eyes of Alarm in the last thread) have been set up in several key locations through the room to ensure nothing enters the circles.

    Incidentally, my apologies for posting this so late at night. If few of last time's viewers are here, I'll happily delete the thread and try again at 6ish PM Eastern Time.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)22:29 No.7196404
    As I mentioned, the manor is near the capital. A ride of a day or so, and we've already received reinforcements in the form of Elvish guards (who, OOC, are there to murder/arrest me the moment the DM sees her chance, IC they're to secure the scene while the various Elvish bigwigs or their hippie equivalent decide what to do)

    My Magic Circle against Fey has another use, you see, it will keep them from entering the room where the prisoner is kept, and more importantly the location where he is at is difficult to see from there.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:32 No.7196435
         File1261193536.jpg-(29 KB, 450x387, 10355168.jpg)
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    >>7196404
    Proceed.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:32 No.7196440
    Oh boy, more insane manipulative/puzzle solving shenanigans.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)22:43 No.7196586
    I also had a bit of an interesting surprise. The DM decided that the Elf guards who showed up WOULD question everyone about their alibi on that night. Mine came into question.

    Everyone else had been awake and active at the party, while I had seemingly underestimated Elvish wine, consumed far too much, and was only able to mumble incoherently and doze on the couch. In reality, as I mentioned in an earlier thread, I had cast Phantom Mask on my Book Imp Familiar, made her look like me, and swapped us out when I went to go deliver the drugged wine, wait for it to take effect, and kill the Prince. My assistant and helper made sure she was the one who carried who carried 'me' up to bed a short while after I had carried out my mission, thus ensuring that I was seemingly within sight of several trustworthy people for the entirety of the span.

    The DM, however, handwaved it as "they don't know precisely when he died, just generally." and had me questioned anyway. I don't know if she expected me to just...break or something, or slip up, so I kept reiterating that I'd had too much wine and had been soundly unconscious that night.

    To avoid being caught by any potential lie-detection spells, I told only the utmost truth...I had, indeed, drank quite a bit of wine after returning to my room, and had then lapsed into a deep, drunken slumber. I slept the deep sleep of the just, that night.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)22:44 No.7196597
    This, of course, was when things got...perhaps weird is the best word.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/18/09(Fri)22:45 No.7196612
    In before DM Fiat player loses.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:47 No.7196634
    >>7196435
    MY MIND.
    >> Captain Bullshit Returns...Again! 12/18/09(Fri)22:47 No.7196635
    YOU again? Hasn't the DM kicked you out yet? And if so, why the hell not?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:48 No.7196647
    >>7196597

    Well, out with it man!
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:49 No.7196659
    >>7196635

    I gather because she desperately wants to keep players, and he is teaching her to be a better DM this way. Also, in thread 1, he basically said "yeah, even if I die doing this, I die acting in-character and being a badass".

    So, props to OP.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:49 No.7196660
    >>7196635

    Because besides being a yaoi fangirl hambeast, she can at least take derailing without throwing a bitchfit.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:51 No.7196681
    >>7196660

    It sounds to me like she threw a bitchfit and got "no, that wouldn't work'd" by the other players.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:52 No.7196691
    >>7196635

    From what I understand, she's actually a good, if fairly unsubtle, DM with an unfortunate propensity for inserting Eragon-esque levels of gratuitous man-on-elf loving.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:53 No.7196703
    Forgot how this guy takes a while to post. Augh.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)22:56 No.7196735
    >>7196703

    I wonder why he doesn't just type it all up beforehand.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:00 No.7196791
    I mentioned this before, but my assistant plays an incredibly mercenary female Half-Orc Ranger. I'd explained to her earlier how imperative it is that we always tell the technical truth, and being caught in a lie could be disastrous.

    Add to that, while I have insanely high Bluff, due to being an Illusionist with Charisma as my Secondary trait, she doesn't have that advantage. Since she had gone to her room after dropping off 'me' at mine, she was questioned at some length, too.

    She was asked, by a Cleric with Discern Lies, if she had remained in her room all night after leaving me . She answered in the negative, and...the NPC Cleric's lie detector goes off. She's pressed on the issue (because if she left again right after leaving me, that leaves her with zero alibi AND she is very handy with a sword, like the murder weapon) and finally comes clean.

    As I warned you, this is where things got weird, she admitted that she had been sleeping with me that night. An event I was totally unaware of, and had never come up before. She doesn't roll Bluff, the Cleric registers the statement as true.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:02 No.7196814
    >>7196703

    I'm sorry, it's just a bit of a bitch to go through my logs, and I really do want to give a detailed, informative, play-by-play. That's why it takes a while.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/18/09(Fri)23:03 No.7196821
    >>7196791

    You almost got raped, son.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:05 No.7196849
    Wait, what?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:05 No.7196850
    >>7196814
    So your sidekick slept with your doppleganger?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:06 No.7196862
         File1261195581.jpg-(59 KB, 498x385, The%20Salute[1].jpg)
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    >>7196791
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:06 No.7196870
    >>7196850
    You took advantage of my familiar disguised as me?!

    Wait, wasn't it only illusion magic on the familiar? How... How would that work for the sexing?
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:07 No.7196885
    >>7196850

    My doppelganger is a female Book Imp, and entirely asexual. No, the truth is weirder than that, because my Familiar was alone when I got back.

    Besides, she knew the Familiar wasn't me, if she'd slept with it, and said she slept with me, it would have registered as a lie unless very cleverly worded.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:09 No.7196906
    >>7196885
    Please don't tell us that it was 'if I can't get him to sleep with my Yaoi elves, I'll let the ranger rape him in his sleep'.

    ..please?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:13 No.7196966
    i'll say what everyone is thinking.

    do we have to paint you red or something? FASTA YA GROT FASTA
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:15 No.7196994
    It took a while to dig through my logs, and ask questions, but I sussed out the truth eventually, and I don't know whether it makes my compatriot brilliant, or intensely creepy. I can't quite figure out her motivation.

    See, as I mentioned, after I returned from commiting murder, under cover of an Invisibility spell, I took steps to make my earlier disguise of drunkenness genuine. I drank enough Elvish wine to put an elephant to sleep, and fell into bed, bracing myself for the deliberately-induced hangover the next morning would bring.

    Prior to this, before I had committed the murders, I'd requested a fifteen-minute-break while I was bringing the drugged wine to the Prince and the Royal Guard. Ostensibly, this was to get some food, but in reality I was working up my nerve to take the plunge.

    During that time period, my assistant PM'd the DM, saying that after I got back, she intended to ply me with liquor and then bed me when I was well and truly drunk (although I have a decent Con score, so I'm not sure how well that would work). I explained my plans in more detail to my assistant when I got back, and apparently she PM'd to the DM that since I was planning on drinking when I returned, she'd take advantage of me then. The DM agreed because "I needed to loosen up". Also something about it being character development. Little did she know.

    So, the murders go forth as planned...I return to my room, get drunk, go to sleep. The Half-Orc then follows me to bed and ravishes me while I'm too soused to remember it.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:17 No.7197022
    >>7196906

    >Please don't tell us that it was 'if I can't get him to sleep with my Yaoi elves, I'll let the ranger rape him in his sleep'.

    Sadly, it was exactly this. When I was disguised as an Elvish servant bringing the wine to the Prince and Royal Guard Captain, they even tried to cozen me into a threesome. So, basically, everything you said is true.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:17 No.7197025
    ugh.

    i now hate OP's DM even more.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:18 No.7197035
    You're lucky the Ranger is female. If she was playing a male character, I bet the DM would have DOUBLE APPROVED it.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:18 No.7197037
         File1261196325.jpg-(94 KB, 318x318, GYAAAARGH!.jpg)
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    >>7197022
    Oh wow. How does the DM think this is good story telling?

    Also: OP, if things go bad, do you have an escape plan?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:23 No.7197093
    >>7196994

    >The Half-Orc then follows me to bed and ravishes me while I'm too soused to remember it.

    I find this hilarious, mostly because your compatriot did something above and beyond the call of duty to secure her own alibi. If it was just the DM's yaoi schlickficking, I'd've raged instead.
    Do you know IC that she nookie'd you?
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:23 No.7197100
    >>7197037

    Yes. I need ten minutes to use it, though. Linked Portal (PHB) to the Permanent Circle at the Wizard's Guild back in the Human Capital. I've been keeping it quiet that I know it in the hopes that the DM has forgotten.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:24 No.7197110
    >>7197093
    She admitted it IC.

    Hell, if the DM has a "Luuuuuurve" story to tack onto the murder, she might just roll with it.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:28 No.7197155
    most interesting thread despite OP taking a while to post to keep his facts straight.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:32 No.7197190
    OP why don't you just burn this forest?
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:32 No.7197191
    >>7197093

    I only just found out, and didn't have much time to react. But, yes. Weeaboo flipped out again, I don't know why. So now I know, and it led to a hilarious conversation where she basically terrified me with depictions of how I might have to pay child support, made several puns about it being "magical", made references to my "Cunning Quarterstaff", and generally DOHOHO'd it up.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:35 No.7197234
         File1261197330.jpg-(29 KB, 492x277, mother_of_god.jpg)
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    >>7196994
    dude..... you got date raped by a half-orc

    thats fucking awsome.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:37 No.7197262
    The DM, at this point, rather smugly pointed out (still with all NPCs being unusually distrustful of me) that having a Half-Orc lover would probably jeopardize my career. I expect that she intends to use this information to keep me from getting a massive boost in power/a promotion when I deliver the Captain of the Guard's head to the Human King with an explanation that this creature is responsible for his son's demise. I don't think she realizes that power was never the point.

    I am beginning to think I am well on my way to becoming the BBEG.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:38 No.7197279
    >>7197191

    Now I have a picture in my mind, "Your father and I met on a strike mission deep in elven territory, where we conspired to kill a butt pirate and frame his elf-lover. You were conceived out of our respective efforts to secure alibis for ourselves. It was magical."
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:38 No.7197280
    >>7197190

    In all likelihood, the Elves would just put the fire out. Or the trees would all come to life and dunk their branches in the fairy faggot lakes or something.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:39 No.7197289
    >>7197262
    Maybe you should point out

    Lover = Consensual
    Drunk Rape = / = Lover
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:39 No.7197295
    >>7197262
    Well, what else happened? Or did you not get past the interrogations?

    Also, if the elves have no crime, why the fuck are there investigators?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:40 No.7197307
         File1261197658.jpg-(75 KB, 600x600, FUKKENXENOOOS.jpg)
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    >>7197262
    That actually sounds...pretty God damn awesome.

    As a BBEG wizard, what would you prefer? A Saurman style tower? A trap filled tomb? A under ground temple?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:42 No.7197324
         File1261197759.jpg-(45 KB, 350x200, alumni_toh.jpg)
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    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:42 No.7197330
    >>7197295

    The Elves have a SMALL amount of crime, regarded as aberrant and very, very rare. They didn't send investigators so much as "guards with a few low-level Clerics who knew Discern Lies, but had low Int so their Religion wasn't high enough to even matter" to ask everyone questions. I'm chalking it up to DM bullshit, but it's fairly reasonably explained.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:43 No.7197345
    >>7197307

    Saruman-style tower with a trap-filled tomb beneath it, part of which is an underground temple.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/18/09(Fri)23:44 No.7197354
    >>7197345

    ...failing that, I'll take the throne of the Human Royal Family. I know if I keep this up, I might be able to become King.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:46 No.7197377
    >>7197289

    If you woke up with a curvy, muscular, Half-Orc Ranger woman wrapped around you, her hair smelling like campfire smoke and her fanged mouth curved in a protective, knowing grin, would you push her away?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:46 No.7197379
    >>7197307

    I would build an elaborate Saruman-style tower, but have it be a decoy. My real lair would be a quiet, unassuming townhouse in the nearest capital city, with a large cellar to carry out my nefarious experiments from.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:47 No.7197380
         File1261198031.jpg-(884 KB, 1280x1024, code_geass_2.jpg)
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    GOOD WORK OP,
    YOU WILL DESTROY THESE DAMN ELFS
    AND BRING THE WORLD UNDER YOUR CONTROL
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:50 No.7197421
    >>7197377
    I would not only push her away
    Id get some rope and pretend that we're going for round two
    Once bonded up, I slit her throat draining her lifeblood into a flask for later
    I find a necromancer or I do it myself raising her to be a zombie and letting the skin rot off her bones
    One rotted enough I slaughter the zombie and cook a delicious stew flavored with lifeblood
    I give this stew to the elfs
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:51 No.7197434
         File1261198276.jpg-(2 KB, 117x127, not farmer.jpg)
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    >>7197421
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/18/09(Fri)23:51 No.7197438
         File1261198298.jpg-(40 KB, 340x492, 1252816487052.jpg)
    40 KB
    rolled 6, 2, 1 = 9

    >>7197377
    Half-Orc? First I would check to see how many bones are broken. At the very least I would expect bruises.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:52 No.7197452
    >>7197421

    You're on the wrong board, then.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:53 No.7197462
    >>7197354

    That would be about twelve kinds of epic.

    >>7197380
    Aside from the magnificent bastardry in both, I don't see how that's related. OP is working FOR the royal family and FOR his own country.

    LoGH would probably be more fitting, but it's still not a very good comparison.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:54 No.7197477
    >>7197452
    No im not, Last time I checked /tg/ wanted to be the little girl
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/18/09(Fri)23:54 No.7197479
    rolled 6, 6, 3 = 15

    >>7197438
    I suppose then I'd cast a minor heal spell and go for rounds 2-15.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:55 No.7197496
    >>7197191
    >Weeaboo flipped out again, I don't know why.

    I do. He's jealous, dude, you pulled off a massive Just As Planned, and you got LAID in the bargain. Weeaboos in gaming tend to be very lonely, and try to pretend-hump any female character nearby. You've got the friends, the power, the girl, and the balls to stand up to the DM. What does he have? Nothing.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:57 No.7197518
    >>7197434

    that episode gave me more nightmares than the ramses one.
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:58 No.7197527
         File1261198686.jpg-(136 KB, 799x1061, 05_03_2008_170331_timfea_u1506(...).jpg)
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    >>7197462

    How about this?
    >> Anonymous 12/18/09(Fri)23:58 No.7197535
         File1261198711.jpg-(28 KB, 332x500, The_Way_We_Were.jpg)
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    >>7197289
    Eh, it worked in The Way We Were...

    Then again that scene ruined any chance of Streissand's character being anything less that a manipulative creep for me, so there's that.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:00 No.7197554
    OKAY, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT A MODERATELY ATTRACTIVE HALF-ORC CHICK WOULD LOOK LIKE, THIS JUST WON'T SIT WELL WITH ME UNTIL I DO.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:01 No.7197568
         File1261198883.jpg-(290 KB, 1555x1600, half-ork.jpg)
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    >>7197554
    Here you go.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:02 No.7197581
    >>7197568
    You did good OP, you did good.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:02 No.7197585
         File1261198962.jpg-(29 KB, 305x278, RacesHalfOrcFemale.jpg)
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    >>7197554
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:02 No.7197589
    >>7197568
    I'm gonna make a Nature check on that one...
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:04 No.7197609
    >>7197568

    Sir, that is a bear.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/19/09(Sat)00:06 No.7197621
         File1261199167.jpg-(316 KB, 1112x1400, 1246923829063.jpg)
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    rolled 3, 5, 4 = 12

    >>7197554
    Would you hit this?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:07 No.7197632
         File1261199234.jpg-(27 KB, 338x504, 200562329-001.jpg)
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    >>7197609
    Your a bear
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:08 No.7197640
    Has OP abandoned us?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:09 No.7197648
    >>7197585
    NOW THIS I CAN GET BEHIND instantrimshot.com
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:10 No.7197660
    >>7197640
    He'll always be there in our HEARTS anon.

    Thwarting Yaoi DMs, enraging weeaboos, murdering elves for political reasons, and unknowingly drunkenly getting the girl.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/19/09(Sat)00:12 No.7197680
    The rest of the interrogations went smoothly. Aside from a single servant who'd been informed by another elf servant that he was relieved of duty for the evening and could go party with the others (the 'other' servant could not be found, with good cause, since it was me in disguise)

    The Dwarf brothers spent their time telling outrageous lies to mess with the person casting Discern Lies. The Bard brother had insane Charisma, high Bluff, and would make up an outrageous story, the Fighter brother had Charisma 9ish (dump stat) and no Bluff, and would confirm it. First giving a positive, then a negative, on the truthfulness of their statements. Sometimes they'd switch off. Also, they wore identical clothing. Dwarves just love making Elves suffer.

    The Weeaboo did everything he could to make me sound bad, said I'd been a bigot from the beginning, recommended I have nothing to do with the investigation...etc. Because we were all making sure he rolled for all of his Bluff checks, and that the Cleric using Discern Lies was doing Insight properly, he actually got caught in a few lies where he claimed I'd been "sneaking off".

    Our final player had nothing really of interest to say, had a rock-solid alibi, hadn't seen anything.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:13 No.7197701
    So... next step is to frame the Half-Orc for a murder.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:15 No.7197716
    >>7197701
    Doubtful, shes been working with him from the beginning, and also may be his lieutenant/mistress when he's becomes a BBEG.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:16 No.7197739
         File1261199798.jpg-(190 KB, 1280x1024, orc-female[1].jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:17 No.7197758
    >>7197701
    >>7197716

    Or wife.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:17 No.7197764
    The OP's character is a xenophobic racist. Or at least that's his motivation for starting all of this. It would be a huge betrayal of principles for him to not either flip the fuck out or start planning cold, spiky, painful revenge.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:18 No.7197777
    >>7197680

    okay, weaboo's being a bitch. You did call him out on the fact he's trying to frame you, right? Forget the fact you did it, but he has no proof you did so.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:18 No.7197782
    >>7197680
    >The Dwarf brothers spent their time telling outrageous lies to mess with the person casting Discern Lies. The Bard brother had insane Charisma, high Bluff, and would make up an outrageous story, the Fighter brother had Charisma 9ish (dump stat) and no Bluff, and would confirm it. First giving a positive, then a negative, on the truthfulness of their statements. Sometimes they'd switch off. Also, they wore identical clothing

    I spat cola all over my screen laughing.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:20 No.7197806
    >>7197777

    Weeaboo has been a bitch since the beginning. I mean, OP is already considering framing him.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:22 No.7197834
    >>7197764
    Hey, she's only half-orc, and she hates elves. She can't be all bad. Besides, humans and orcs might be allied against the elves or something, we don't know.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:22 No.7197836
    >>7197764

    However, he's also a cold, calculating xenophobic racist. He likely won't do anything until he's absolutely sure that it won't jeopardize his plans. Besides, he's only really been shown to hate elves. Maybe there's a ladder of racism, like Humans > Dwarves > Gnomes/Halflings > Orcs > THOSE FUCKING ELVES. The Half-Orc has also got human blood, so that can be better or worse depending upon fantasy human views on miscegenation.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:23 No.7197855
    >The Dwarf brothers spent their time telling outrageous lies to mess with the person casting Discern Lies. The Bard brother had insane Charisma, high Bluff, and would make up an outrageous story, the Fighter brother had Charisma 9ish (dump stat) and no Bluff, and would confirm it. First giving a positive, then a negative, on the truthfulness of their statements. Sometimes they'd switch off. Also, they wore identical clothing. Dwarves just love making Elves suffer.

    I want these guys in my next campaign. So badly.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/19/09(Sat)00:24 No.7197877
    >>7197764
    >>7197836

    If I was that xenophobic, I wouldn't be in a mostly-non-human group. I just dislike the elvish civilization, how pretentious and "better than everyone" they are, and was acting in the best interests of my nation and the Human Royal Family.

    This is about pragmatism, not xenophobia.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/19/09(Sat)00:28 No.7197916
    Also, Half-Orc and I get along fine. Since IC I'm now somewhere between blue screen of death level shock and grumbling acceptance, it's not like I've flipped out at her more than necessary, and I have no plans to kill her.

    Still not sure how I should feel about being molested by her, though. I definitely know the DM's acceptance of it is creepy.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:29 No.7197933
         File1261200577.jpg-(305 KB, 340x449, 1259616619089.jpg)
    305 KB
    >this thread

    MAN UP AND KILL ALL THE ELVES ALREADY, I'M TIRED OF THIS QUEST ARC

    BY THE GODS, I DISAPPROVE OF YOU, OP, AND YOUR CRAVEN WAYS.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:31 No.7197951
    >>7197933

    Works of art take time to create. Our good OP has seen the angel, and is working fervently to release it from its marble prison.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:31 No.7197952
    >>7197933
    Typical that you disapprove of something that a fair number of us are enjoying.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:32 No.7197971
    >>7197933
    Of fucking course the bitch disapproves.

    OP, keep going. You are a magnificent bastard.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:36 No.7198015
    Has this been archived yet?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:37 No.7198033
    Important: Is the half-orc played by a male? If so, that's creepy as all fuck. If not, then it's really hot and you should hit on her IC and OOC.

    Now seriously, the weeaboo is fucking up with his lies. Try to find a way to turn them on him, call into doubt his own actions.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/19/09(Sat)00:42 No.7198067
    >>7198033

    Female, and I am fairly certain the weeaboo must die.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:44 No.7198093
    OP, do you have any more juicy bits, or is that all for tonight?

    Also you should collect your statements in a text doc before posting.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:46 No.7198105
    >>7197877

    You did just get raped. I'd say that's justification to start a brand new prejudice.

    Of course I'm just trying to make you enact more devious plots for my reading amusement.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:50 No.7198155
    >>7198105
    As anyone in /r9k/ will tell you, rape is dependent on the attractiveness of the person doing it. If she's attractve, then she's just unsure of how to express her feelings and is worried you'll reject her. If she's ugly, she's a selfish troll who used your body as a convenience and should be punished.
    >> OP !ZHZKskBiOw 12/19/09(Sat)00:57 No.7198230
    Yes, that was the entirety of the session. It was short eventswise because so much roleplaying was going on. Lots of melodramatic Elves-weeping-over-the-Prince's-body stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:58 No.7198242
    Can someone archive this?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)00:59 No.7198250
    >>7198105

    Against his loyal sidekick? Naw, dude.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:00 No.7198257
    Could you set up the weeaboo and the cotg as having fallen in love at first sight, and conspired to kill the prince for some reason? If you leave an opportunity for weeaboo to break into the cellar you can catch them red-handed, and bring out the evidence of their involvement.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:00 No.7198262
    >>7198230

    Why are the elves so stupidly unrealistic? Unless they hadn't noticed, the human war machine is burning a bloody swathe through their glens, glades, and other nature-related g-words. I mean, seriously.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:04 No.7198288
    >>7198262
    Elves are just wanting to live alone. OP is trying to instigate a war because it'll help his country, and because the prince is a shame to his people for being a fag-xenophile.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:04 No.7198292
    >>7198262

    They noticed and wanted to send the humie prince home to create peace, dude. Not that it will work now.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:10 No.7198339
    >>7197877
    Your character obviously has issues, whatever you call them. Your whole "yeah, i'm a dick because the human kingdom is dickish - but I only roleplay it so long as it angers the dm" is bad.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:12 No.7198362
    >>7198292
    Why not ? Raise dead is not beyond the ressources of the human royalty.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:14 No.7198372
    >>7198362

    Assuming they send the prince's body home, there's a 30-day limit on Raise Dead in 4th edition.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:17 No.7198395
    >>7198362
    >>7198372

    As OP has stated in prior threads, the elves have some taboo against raising the dead.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:22 No.7198436
    >>7198395
    Yeah, but a taboo is not worth a war, plus they wouldn't raise anyone, the humans can do it. Keeping the corpse from his family to ensure that it won't be raised would be out of character from these kind and understanding elves.
    >>7198372
    I don't think the next human cleric is farther than a 29 days ride since they're at war, but there's gentle repose if not.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:23 No.7198445
    >>7198288

    The war is already ongoing. OP is trying to continue the warfare, as the elves are ducking out of the fight.

    OP, you are too awesome for my suggestions to matter anymore. You have the best co-conspirator you could ever hope for. Do not bring anyone else in on the plan.

    Does the weeaboo need further discrediting, or is he totally unbelieved by the elves at large?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:27 No.7198481
    >>7198445
    You might be able to enlist the aid of the dwarves if their elf-hate is as strong as yours.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:32 No.7198535
    Is OP still here ?
    Why are these dwarves in a human strike force ?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:35 No.7198561
    >>7198535

    They are dwarves. What more reason do they need to attack elves?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:40 No.7198634
    >>7198561
    Because obeying humans.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:41 No.7198654
    Magic Circle against Fey doesn't stop Elves. Your plan has a mistake in the first section.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:43 No.7198676
    >>7198654
    Yes it does. All Elves count as Fey. It's one of their racial features.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:49 No.7198746
    >>7198676
    Isn't that Eladrin?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:51 No.7198775
    >>7198746
    RACIAL TRAITS

    Average Height: 5' 4" - 6'0"
    Average Weight: 130 - 170

    Ability scores: +2 Dexterity, +2 Wisdom
    Size: Medium
    Speed: 7 squares.
    Vision: Low-Light

    Languages: Common, Elven
    Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Perception.
    Elven Accuracy: You can use elven accuracy as an encounter power.
    Elven Weapon Proficiency: You gain proficiency with the longbow and the shortbow.
    Fey Origin: Your ancestors were native to the Feywild, so you are considered a fey creature for the purpose of effects that relate to creature origin.
    Group Awareness: You grant non-elf allies within 5 squares of you a +1 racial bonus to Perception checks.
    Wild Step: You ignore difficult terrain when you shift (even if you have a power that allows you to shift multiple squares).
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:52 No.7198783
    >>7198746

    Whenever someone says "Elves" in this thread, they mean Eladrin. References have been made to the fact that you can't teleport out of a Circle.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:52 No.7198795
    >>7198746
    Elves, Eladrin, and Gnomes are all Fey.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:53 No.7198800
    >>7198795
    Huh.

    >>7198775
    Fair enough. Sorry for my mistake, thanks for clearing that up.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:55 No.7198836
    >>7198800
    No problem. Elves are the least Fey of them all, so I can see how you could make that mistake. I also forgot to include Drow in my list of Fey playable races.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)01:57 No.7198847
    >>7198836
    Fuck. I forgot Wilden too.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)02:02 No.7198903
    I prefered when elves were unrelated to the fey.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)02:07 No.7198947
    >>7198903
    You mean when they were Norse dorfs?
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)02:10 No.7198967
    >>7198947
    Yep.
    Or, in DnD cosmology, when they were descended from chaotic good celestials.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)02:24 No.7199096
    >>7197933
    Ayn Rand dissaproves -10
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)02:26 No.7199113
    >>7198967
    I mean, it seems to me that this shift made the kind of faggotry in which revel OP and his DM easier. No one really wants to give elves the uncaring, alien mind of the fey, but at the same time they're no longer supposed to inherit from a haughty warriorish culture, and we end up with bland and boring hidden pacifist and pacified kingdoms.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)03:27 No.7199643
    >>7198445

    I'd say, despite not being OP, all suggestions are welcome.

    >>7198436

    Yeah, and if they send the body back with the PCs (because sending Elves sounds like a good way for some Elves to die when they meet human troops) OP can easily set fire to the corpse, or bury it, or something.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)03:45 No.7199834
    >>7198783

    OP said earlier that the "Elvish" kingdom was composed of both Elves and Eladrin.
    >> Anonymous 12/19/09(Sat)04:26 No.7200172
    >>7198783

    Not really. OP has mentioned that the "Elvish Kingdom" has both types.



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