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    36 KB HILL GIANT QUEST !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)12:47 No.7161417  
    Lets have a quest thread /tg/!

    You are a hill giant, living in the hills. For a while, you have lived in relative peace, but about a month ago, some humans started settling in your area. They are sending a party out to kill you.

    You have a leather loincloth and a large tree that you can use as a club. You are 10 and a half feet tall.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)12:49 No.7161429
    Flee, one's probably a pc. I gather any of my meager possessions and a few of the cattle/sheep I may possess and head for deeper mountains.

    I'll come back when I'm ready, I will have my revenge.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)12:50 No.7161444
    There are any other monster on the area you can ally with? Kobolds, Gobbos, Trolls, other Giants?
    >> !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)12:52 No.7161461
    You take your earl gray tea and your biscuits, and decide to flee. Sipping your tea and slinging your tree club over your shoulder, you jog away. The humans arrive to see you fleeing and shoot a few arrows at you (which miss) but do not give chase.

    You are still in the foothills. You can see some mountains up north, and a forest to the south. There are dwarves in the mountains, and human and elf settlements in the forest. To the east are more hills. You came from the west.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)12:53 No.7161475
    This. Also examine resources and environment for use in traps.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)12:53 No.7161477

    Go to the elves and say the Humans want to raze the hills from all trees and you are it's rightful guardian.
    >> !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)12:53 No.7161485
    None that you know of, most of them moved out when the humans came. It seems to be some sort of human expedition, but you wouldn't know, seeing as you cannot understand what they say. You didn't really care, either, until they became hostile.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)12:53 No.7161488
    Are there any other giants in the area? Family?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)12:54 No.7161495
    What language can we speak besides RAGGGGGGGGGGGH?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)12:54 No.7161497
    Go East, more hills, anything else we should know about that way?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)12:57 No.7161515
    Seconding, stick to what we know. Also, observe area for food/minions to boss around.
    >> !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)12:58 No.7161526
    Giant/monster. You where acquainted with the local goblin tribe, which gave you gifts in return for you not completely stomping them, and you and the elder shaman could speak. The only other person you know of who could speak your tongue was an elderly human who came by your lands many years ago. He was a spellcaster, and stumbled upon your lair. He was a nice guy, so you let him go.

    >Do you want to do this?

    The goblins where driven to the mountains by the humans. Perhaps they are there somewhere?
    >> !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)12:59 No.7161539
    This area is mostly unsettled by humans. To the east lies gnoll territory. You avoid the gnolls and they leave you alone.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)12:59 No.7161545

    Ah, with no Elvish we can't go on with my original plan. Ok, let's go to the Gobbos. CHOO CHOO!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:00 No.7161549
    If we haven't caused trouble for the elves lately, go to them. As long as we approach slowly and cautiously, one should come to speak with us.

    We can tell them that the humans upset the balance and the goblins plot revenge unless they can get their (our) land back. Then we go get the goblins and plot revenge.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)13:02 No.7161566

    This. Also, it would be really amusing to see a chessmaster manipulator Hill Giant.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:02 No.7161572
    Grab a goblin, use as translator to talk to elves. Use elves to lodge a legal complaint against the village of humans.

    Move back into cave, Elven legal system will take longer than the Human village will exist for the case to finish.
    >> !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:04 No.7161581
    >Alright, enough votes are in for the elves. So we're heading to them.

    You set off towards the forest. As you get towards the edge, you think - you don't really have a name. You've always thought of yourself in the first person, and the gobbo's called you 'big one'. A fine gentleman like yourself can't introduce yourself to a people like the elves without a name, can you?

    What is our name, /tg/?
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)13:05 No.7161593

    Theodore Roosevelt.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:06 No.7161597
    We are the Mountain, and the Mountain moves for no man.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:09 No.7161629

    Seconding Teddy Roosevelt. It's a splendid name for a hill giant.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/16/09(Wed)13:10 No.7161641

    Splendid! Now we need a monocle!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:11 No.7161655
    And we need to start growing a mustache if we do not have one already.

    >big stick lol
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:13 No.7161673
    >I can't refuse Shas, Theodore Roosevelt it is. Tripcode changed accordingly.

    You amble through the forest. The trees are close together, and your bulk causes you to move slowly.

    Your only in the forest for about an hour when you smell something following you. The trees are too close for you to swing your club.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:16 No.7161701

    We are a hill giant, you said? If we do not have enough room to swing our club, we will swing the trees.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:17 No.7161711
    Turn around and stare blankly, pondering the situation. Curtly nod your head in no direction in particular, turn around and saunter confidently forward.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)13:18 No.7161719

    We are also fucking 10 feet tall. We can punch someone really hard if we have to.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:19 No.7161739

    True, but I'm just saying that there's just something about the idea of beating our foes with nature. You're missing the forest for the clubs.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:20 No.7161742
    You continue onward. You can still sense the presence of whatever is following you, but they do not make an appearance. After another hour, you can no longer tell if they are there or not, so you continue moving.

    An hour before sundown, you smell a campfire coming from the southeast. What do you do?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/16/09(Wed)13:21 No.7161758
    By the way, get yourselves a ballista as your elephant gun.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:21 No.7161760
    Drink my tea. Suddenly, strange sound comes from the forest. You also smell the familiar smell. You take one burning log as torch, and go towards the voice.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:22 No.7161765

    Clearly, we should cast Enlarge Person.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)13:22 No.7161767

    Stealthy approach it. (Even if you have a fucking stealth penalty.)
    >> Reiiama Kotsu 12/16/09(Wed)13:24 No.7161786
    Speak softly, and carry a big tree.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:24 No.7161788

    I disagree, we should whistle a lively jaunt to inform whoever is there of our culture and the overt friendliness we offer.

    >then crush their heads if we don't like them
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:24 No.7161789
    You lament the fact that you are out of tea. Perhaps the elves will have some?
    You approach the small clearing.

    >Roll a stealth check, you can use a d100 or a d20, whatever you're comfortable with.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:26 No.7161817
    rolled 2 = 2

    Stealthing is so uncouth, but such is the times, I suppose
    >> Rektum 12/16/09(Wed)13:27 No.7161821
    oh wow
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:27 No.7161830
    Ha! That will show you for suggesting such un-gentlemanly means!
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)13:29 No.7161847

    Like a invisible panther.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:30 No.7161863
    Suppose...suppose our gm prefers rolling low for success?
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:31 No.7161876
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    You stumble through the trees and into the clearing, catching your big toe on an upturned tree root. As you look up a group of five humans look up at you, startled. Four are armed with swords and armor, and one is in robes. They have horses and an uncovered wagon, which looks as if it has had a hard time making it through the woods. The wagon has some chests in it.

    You clear your throat, and they start to rise warily. They reach for their weapons, but seem unsure as you aren't attacking them.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:31 No.7161877
    I spit to round. So theres where the banana half from last week disappeared. You gotta look good when in close contact with women. Or other feminine creatures.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:33 No.7161887
    offer to help move the wagon through the woods.
    Kill and eat them when they go to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:34 No.7161895

    We try to appear non-hostile and attempt to introduce ourselves to the humans. Maybe the robed one will understand?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:35 No.7161902
    Bow politely, head up though. A breach of decorum, yes, but one must be careful. These may be unsavory ruffians.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:38 No.7161922
    You bow and explain you are off to see the elves, and offer to help them. They stare at you blankly. You hold your hands over your head and drop your tree on the ground, showing you wish to surrender. The armed humans look to the robed one. He stares at you a second, and then shouts something nervously. The four armed humans ready their swords and begin backing away towards the wagon, while the robed one runs directly to the wagon and begins quickly getting it ready for travel.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:41 No.7161960

    I sit down and wait for them to leave. If they're not going to be hostile, there's no reason for me to be hostile. Maybe they'll go back and tell the other humans how nice we are.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:41 No.7161963
    How terribly rude of them. Shouting is barbaric in introductions and drawing steel when we submit ourselves! Disgraceful! I have half a mind to teach him manners!

    >smash mode: engage
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:42 No.7161969
    >I have a vote for remaining peaceful, and another for activating smash mode. Which one /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:43 No.7161980
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:44 No.7161989
    Do we really want to get the whole human population on our back? I vote for peaceful.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:44 No.7161996
    Already having voted I abstain, but reaffirm that we have been grossly slighted. Worst, we have not their names so we can spread vicious rumors about them.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:44 No.7161997
    Charming. Pretend you are crippled and smoke some cigars. Oh, and dont forget your monocle!
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:46 No.7162011
    You sit down and watch the humans with an amiable smile on your face (the smile seems to frighten them even more). They leave in a hurry, whipping the oxen pulling the wagon to make them move as fast as possible, the chests in the wagon bouncing up and down as it moves over rough terrain to the south. How rude.

    It is getting dark. Would you like to rest and continue your journey tomorrow, or continue traveling under the light of the moon?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:48 No.7162027

    Oh, a romantic, moonlit journey! One is reminded of a younger, more innocent time, of mating dances and pretty giantesses.

    Let's have a stroll in the quiet evening breeze.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:48 No.7162028
    >leather loincloth

    Are we talking about male or female hill giant?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:48 No.7162029
    A moonlight stroll would be fine, provided we do no tax ourselves. Perhaps we may find those humans, as to inform them of their poor manners.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)13:51 No.7162049
    Seeing as your name is Theodore Roosevelt, it is safe to assume we are male.

    You continue walking through the moonlight. You manage to forage for some food on the way (you are omnivorous) and soon you reach the outskirts of the elven camp. You can smell woodsmoke, and can hear shouting. The familiar smell of oxen reaches your nostrils.

    You are still hidden in the trees, and do not see any elves. What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)13:54 No.7162069
    Let's see what the commotion is all about.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:00 No.7162106
    let out a hearty bellow and rush to greet our elven friends while waving to them
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:00 No.7162111
    >Interest is waning. How disappointing!

    You shamble to the center of the elvish camp. Sure enough, you spy the humans from before talking with a very old elf with a staff and ornate feathered leather armor. They continue their shouting match for sometime, until they notice your presence. Startled they all stop.

    You bow, and hear a crack from behind. You are suddenly aware of the dozen or so elvish arrows pointed at you from treetops, behind rocks and bushes, etc. The elvish elder looks at you, steps forward, and says in rough Giantspeak: "Can you understand me?"

    The humans are jabbering loudly, but the elf elder is ignoring them. He stares intently at you. What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:02 No.7162127
    introduce ourselves, offer to fix the problem of the shouting humans . . . permanently
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:04 No.7162153
    Good eve, fair elder! I compliment your knowledge of my language and chide myself for not knowing yours. I come in dire strait with a heavy heart, I ask only to be heard out.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:04 No.7162156
    ask to talk to him when he has finished his business with the humans
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:04 No.7162158
    Good evening sir, my name is Theodore Rossevelt. I was just taking a stroll through the woods and I happened to overhear loud voices coming from your residence. Oh my, it's the humans again! You ran off so quickly last time, I didn't even have the chance to introduce myself.
    >> Grungan 12/16/09(Wed)14:07 No.7162177

    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:10 No.7162208
    You introduce yourself to the elder, and briefly explain your predicament. He nods sagely, and tells you how his people and the humans have never gotten along, but recently they have been sending emissaries and 'gifts' (read: bribes) to try and persuade them to leave their land or assimilate. The elves don't want to leave, but they aren't strong enough to fight the humans off.

    He waves his hand, and the archers relax their arrows. He turns and says something to the humans, who begin shouting even louder. Two even draw their swords in warning. You offer yourself as an ally. What do you do?

    >If you want to fight, choose a fighting style: Berserk, barbarian-like style, balanced fighter-like style, or chivalrous paladin-like style. Also, roll 3d6 for attacking. Your skill in combat is 14, so roll below that, pseudo-GURPS rules.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:12 No.7162224
    >Or use a d20, I don't care.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:14 No.7162238
    rolled 3, 1, 6 = 10

    Tally-ho. The Paladin school, of course!

    I hope the style is up for debate should someone not like it though.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:15 No.7162247
    We use fisticuffs, we fight like gentlemen. Now let us lay waste to the gutter trash humans.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:16 No.7162260
    Fisticuffs, with room for a basic bear hug? Grappling would be a fine art.

    Note to self, find narrow tree for fencing capability.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)14:19 No.7162286
    We're a mix of the gentlemanly pugilist, with a bit of skill in wrestling from our Yale days.

    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:21 No.7162304
    I was hoping we were an oxford man, but seeing as how neither of these places probably exist, it's quite moot.

    Before we attack, make a good show of our prowess, give the humans a chance to flee again.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:21 No.7162305
    The elf nods at you, and barks a command. You don't understand the language, but its smoother, more fluid sounding than the language he was speaking to the humans too. Arrows whizz, and two of the human warriors drop, grabbing their bleeding throats with a gurgling cry.

    The other humans gape, and only begin to move as you pounce, punching one with your large fist. You hear his ribs crack and he coughs blood as your bends his armor in, crushing his lungs. You turn and backhand the other warrior, but not before he cuts your thigh. He flies against a tree and falls to the ground with a groan. An elf drops from a tree and slits his throat.

    The robed human drops to his knees and begins to cry. You can't understand what he's saying, but it's pretty obvious he's pleading for his life.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)14:22 No.7162323
    Stomp him. In a polite manner, of course.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:23 No.7162330
    Offer him to the elder.

    If no one lives to tell the tale, the elves can say it was we who killed them. The elves maintain their neutrality to speak for us. They can claim it's the humans fault for driving us from our home and we fought only in self defense, which is partially true.

    Then we can plot further.
    >> Grungan 12/16/09(Wed)14:28 No.7162382
    flip him off, grab him and squash himlike the little bug he is.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:31 No.7162405
    You look to the elder for further commands. He waves his hand and two elves in masks come forward and seize the human. They lead him away. The elder then comes forward and lays hands on the bleeding, painful gash on your leg. He mutters some words and a cool feeling washes over you. He pulls his hands away from your healed leg and tells you that the elves will support your endeavor in trying to oust the humans, if you can gain more support. You and them alone cannot stand against an entire settlement, let alone an army. They offer you refuge and any supplies you may need, as well as information.

    What do you do?
    >Don't give up on this /tg/! I'm having so much fun with it!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:32 No.7162420
    Now we go recruit the Goblin tribe to fight for freedom from the Human oppressor.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)14:33 No.7162432
    Well first of all we need some tea.

    Then some sleep.

    Then some gentlemanly attire. I'm afraid that leaving our old estate in such a rush forced us to only bring the necessities.
    >> Grungan 12/16/09(Wed)14:34 No.7162444
    find the goblins in the mountains, also try to find the dwarves to help.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:35 No.7162452
    Tell the elder his tribe must be vigilant and hold here. If they must, they could simply tell the humans they agree to leave, but must first perform a lengthy ceremony to ask the forgiveness of the ancestors before they leave. The humans may be impatient, but assure them they are on their way out.

    Alternatively they could just kill any humans that enter the woods and claim it was because of us. The humans will be thrown off our scent allowing us to operate covertly elsewhere.

    Personally, I'd say give the gnolls a try, but I'm open. What can the elves tell us?
    >> Grungan 12/16/09(Wed)14:36 No.7162463
    also standing in wonder at our healed leg we ask if we can learn the magic that has healed us so quickly.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:37 No.7162476

    We bring up the existence of the goblins, and of the gnolls. Tell the elves we have a rapport with the goblins already, but that they may wish to get to know them and could perhaps help them and gain their trust. Also tell the elves that we ignore the gnolls and they ignore us, but that they might be interested in an alliance of circumstance.

    More importantly, ask for some tea.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:37 No.7162477
    can we learn to speak human [softly]? i'm sure our elven friend wouldn't lie to us about whats going on but know your enemy and all that.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:38 No.7162484
    You make some earl gray tea with the elder, and ask for some clothing. He thinks for a while, and tells you to stay overnight, and he will have something ready for you in the morning.

    He says he can send one of his apprentices, Adran, with you. He's the only apprentice who can speak Giantspeak. He is a level 3 Druid.

    >You are a level 5 Giant Pugilist.

    I assume you are staying the night, so in the morning you wake up. The elves have made a makeshift jacket for you out of large wolf pelts, as well as some shabby breeches. Their kind of tight, but it's better than the old loincloth. They also give you a sack with plenty of food, as well as fine elvish wine.

    Do you wish to accept Adran as a traveling companion?
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)14:40 No.7162500

    He can teach us his wrestling skills.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:42 No.7162519
    We must question his gentlemanly knowledge first!

    Friend elf! You are hosting a party with three of your dearest friends! You all must sit at a rectangular table two seats wide by four seats long. In which seat do you sit and which seat is reserved for your guest of honor?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:44 No.7162541
    That's easy.

    Remove all the chairs except 4. One one each side, in the middle. You sit at one end, the guest sits at the other, the other two sit in the middle of their respective sides.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:45 No.7162547
    The elder agrees that the elves will bide their time here. They will try to stay as long as possible, but will move if we are gone too long. If they move, they will try to contact us.

    The elves and gnolls are not on good terms. Frequent skirmishes over territory are common, however the elder attests that the gnoll population is huge

    He also tells you of a primarily halfling trading settlement, down south, out of the forest and by the river. He tells you that the halflings are friendly with the elves, but would probably be hostile to a hill giant wandering towards their town. He again suggests taking Adran, who can act as an interpreter and diplomat for you.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:45 No.7162551
    I am against, it may be complicated to play all sides against each other.

    >I'm, personally, trying to find a way for EVERYONE to hate each other and end with us being the only one standing.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:46 No.7162562
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    make adran carry our club, we need a native bearer
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:48 No.7162575
    Maid Taft is a sexy beast

    We should keep him for the time being at the very least, we'll need him for translating. He can "disappear" later if needed
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:49 No.7162579

    Suggest that they should send an emissary to the halflings while we head towards the goblins with Adran in tow in case we run into any humans or the like.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)14:49 No.7162581
    If we can influence the gnolls to attack the human settlement, it could act as an effective first wave and distract the humans from our presence.

    In the end, the gnolls will probably be wiped out, or at least reduced to a number manageable by us.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:51 No.7162602
    You accept Adran as a companion. Where are we going, /tg/?

    >Mountains, where we may find our goblin friends, or angry giant-hating dorfs.
    >Eastern foothills, where we find neutral gnolls.
    >Southern plains, where we find possibly hostile halfling traders
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:53 No.7162624
    Halflings first. We'll definitely need the elf there.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)14:53 No.7162627
    I agree with the other poster.

    The Elves should go speak to the halflings, we'll go speak with the gnolls.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)14:55 No.7162645
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    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)14:58 No.7162674
    The elder agrees to send an emissary, and though you can tell he is reluctant to side with gnolls, he admits that he may need to if he wishes to keep his land.

    You say your farewells, drink some more tea. You head out of the forset, and make it out around midnight. You are back in the foothills. you rest for the night, and continue on towards gnoll territory.

    Around evening the next day, you reach the border of their territory. You don't know the area well, but you can tell where their territory starts by the bloody wooden spears with human heads impaled on them.

    Your companion is an asshole who obviously dislikes that he is traveling with you. He is polite enough, but you can tell he doesn't think you are much that a large brute. He has a staff, minor healing prowess, and can shapeshift into a bear to do combat.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:01 No.7162703
    This makes things difficult for me! How cruel.

    Gnolls speak monster, yes?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:02 No.7162713
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    Just got in here? Does this mean we have an elvish support staff?
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)15:03 No.7162719
    We're a gentleman, but we'll eat the fuck out of him if he doesn't shape up.

    Take one of the pikes w/ human head and carry it with us as we enter the Gnoll territory. Let them know we're friends and shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:03 No.7162721
    Have him be our pet bear since gnolls don't like elves.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:03 No.7162722
         File1260993801.jpg-(49 KB, 400x300, 41672.jpg)
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    This should be us: Giant Diplomat policeman, stop everybody from killing each other
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:03 No.7162729
    Yes, though you have only met the gnolls on few times, you have been able to converse with them easily on each occurence.

    It is dark. Do you wish to rest again, or push on into their territory? Remember, they are neutral towards you, but your not sure how they'll react to you suddenly marching into their territory with an elf by your side.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:04 No.7162737
    This is a good idea. Unless he can only stay a bear for a short time or something. They might attack elves automatically, and while I'm sure a giant and a bear can stomp some gnolls, that's basically mission failed.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:05 No.7162742
    >make everyone kill each other.

    >Pet bear mode, go! Only if he can act the part though, otherwise he should probably stay behind.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:05 No.7162750
    Resting is good. Hopefully we can find a patrol and wave them over to avoid awkwardness.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:06 No.7162758
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:07 No.7162761
    Adran reluctantly agrees with you, and shapeshifts into his black bear form.

    Continue or rest?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:07 No.7162764
    Tell the gnolls that the human encampment is the beginning of a crusade to cleanse the hills around here and that the humans wish to mine the hills as the Dwarves do the mountains and sow fields across all the plains.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:07 No.7162768
    where are the other giants?
    >> Grungan 12/16/09(Wed)15:07 No.7162772
    stop and rest for the night, build a large fire so that they will see us from a long way off and might send a party to see what is going on.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:09 No.7162791
    agree with resting. We need to enter in broad daylight as it is significantly less suspicious.
    Elf druid needs to remain in bear form at all times to keep things smooth.

    I suggest taking one of the human heads and attaching it to our clothing, so the gnolls know we hate da 'umies too.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:10 No.7162794
    You make camp. Adran can stay in bear mode indefinitely, though he cannot speak in bear form, so you agree he can go back into elf form while their are no gnolls around, after you encounter them.

    In the middle of the night you feel a sharp prodding in your side, and smell a horrible stench. You awake to a party of eight gnolls with spears surrounding you and your bear friend (who was curled up beside you, and is waking up). The gnolls giggle. The biggest one asks:
    "Whut yoo doon he, Giant?"
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:11 No.7162804
    >You did take a human head, I did forget to mention that. There where elf heads there too, which I also forgot to mention. (If you want to retro-actively take an elf head also, you can do that since I did forget to tell you they where there)
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)15:12 No.7162820
    "A fine evening chaps, how do? I've come to speak to your chief. There's trouble afoot, and what what. Humans you see."
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:17 No.7162872
    The gnoll scowls and chuckles. "Dere no hoomans he, Giant, jus' yoo n' bere. We take yoo to cheef Redspot, sence yoo awayz been good, bu' no funee buizness."

    The gnolls surround you an lead you to a huge gnoll camp, which must be a mile wide. They take you to the center, were a huge gnoll, almost as tall as you sits, next to a raging fire. He is adorned in bones. His seech is much more refined.
    "What do you want, Giant? Why do you encroach upon our territory?"

    >I keep spelling 'were' as 'where', sorry /tg/. Also, if you guys are enjoying this, we may wanna archive soon and start a new thread, as this one is getting pretty long. I'm really enjoying this, this is my first quest thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:17 No.7162878
    Second, very personable.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:20 No.7162909
    We come to ask your strength, great chief! The humans grow too indignant in their shoes and seek to end us all. Why, this very past day i was driven from my land and accosted by them! I hunger for revenge!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:21 No.7162914
    Make it clear that
    -we give 0 shits about taking his land and items and will leave if asked
    -we are interested in talking about mutually stomping on human heads

    No mentioning any elfs yet.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:22 No.7162922

    I already archived it, op, no worries.

    Action: "Greetings, my hairy friend, i have a proposition you can't refuse. What if i say you help us crush a human settlement? Your tribe can have a good part of the loot."
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:24 No.7162943
    Seconding this.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:25 No.7162951
    The gnoll laughs. "You are weak giant! The humans are small in number so far, and we have killed all of the soldiers they sent. They even sent two wizards here to fight us! We captured them and sacrificed them to Yeenoghu! It was glorious! We do not need the aid of you!"

    He laughs some more. Thick saliva drips from his jaws. The smell is sickening, and this doesn't seem to be going well.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)15:25 No.7162963
    I can't be fucked to Teddy Roosevelt up the dialogue anymore, so just tell him that the humans are a vermin. They're gonna grow, and grow, and more will come and be born, and they'll keep expanding, taking a bit of land here, and a bit more there, until they're massive and unstoppable.

    The Gnoll will probably say that the humans are too weak to match the Gnolls. Tell him again about how they'll expand. And how they'll take on the weakest first. Taking out the lone free "Monsters" (I use monsters in quotes, because, come on, a giant isn't going to call himself a monster), and then the smaller tribes, until they're large and powerful enough to clear the land of anything that doesn't descend from monkeys.

    They need to be wiped out soon, before this happens.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:26 No.7162973
    But unless we smash them now, more will pour in from the lands surrounding.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:27 No.7162984

    As i say, the prospect of slaves and loot is really good for the Gnolls. Heck, they can even rape everyone on the settlement.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:32 No.7163028
    He listens to you, then lets slip a growl. "We will not be crushed by these hairless cretins. We will smash them with the fury of Yeenoghu! The fires of the Abyss shall wash over them, and their blood will flow like rivers, choking the land of its life! We do not need you Giant!" He howls with laughter, and is accompanied by many others. Adran bristles and lets slip a low growl.

    Gnolls are beginning to drift in from other parts of the camp, their red eyes glinting in the firelight. They have formed a loos circle around you and their chief.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:32 No.7163032
         File1260995557.jpg-(59 KB, 1191x632, cunningentlemanlyplan.jpg)
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    Ask him if we can go to a private place (away from other gnolls and our "bear") to talk more in depth.

    (The following is not meant for the elf to know about)
    The pic is my cunning plan. Basically the left one is what we tell the elves/halflings/dwarves should we be able to.

    Except, we convince the Dwarves the elves may be planning treason against our Coalition, sowing the seeds of paranoia. Additionally we tell the elves that the dwarves refused us and may even stand with the humans. When the attack finally starts and everyone reveals themselves, the elves should hopefully see the dwarves and open fire. The dwarves, already paranoid, will attack the elves and humans in kind.

    Hence the drawing on the right. When the halflings engage the humans, the goblins and gnolls enter the fray and mop up _everyone_. We can be stomping around killing human, dwarf, or elf depending on what's needed.

    End result is monsters winning. Gnolls can have whatever thy wish so long as we have our home back.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:34 No.7163047

    Well, fuck. As a last resort, CHALLENGE THE GNOLL LEADER TO LEAD THE PACK.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:35 No.7163054
    this is fine

    ask him when they plan to attack, and leave

    go back to elves, tell them when the gnolls will attack, and come up with dapper scheme.
    >> Bill Murray !!WYG9L8p7tJh 12/16/09(Wed)15:37 No.7163078
    I like this.
    And I like this. If it comes down to it, we challenge him to a friendly BOXING MATCH! Good thing we're a 5th level pugilist.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:38 No.7163090
         File1260995926.jpg-(26 KB, 640x481, asplannedrd3.jpg)
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    >By god, how devious!

    You ask for a private audience. You don't even need to mention that your bear will stay behind - Redspot makes it clear he doesn't want you and the bear together anyway.

    He leads you inside his tent and sends out everyone in there. You explain to him your plan. He listens intently, breathing out a laugh every once and a while. At the end, he lets loose a loud cackle. "You are truly ingenious, Giant! Your cunning is remarkable. But how can I be sure you won't double cross me?" He thinks for a moment. "I will help you, but you must do something to prove you will not betray me. Are you interested?"
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:42 No.7163120
         File1260996148.jpg-(16 KB, 483x271, DOTHEEVOLUTION.jpg)
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    >Oh, these bastards will get theirs, don't worry.

    Certainly, I would do your bidding for your strength, great chief.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:46 No.7163161
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:48 No.7163170
    He beckons you outside, and leads you and your bear friend to a great stone altar."I will sacrifice your bear friend and put a Mark of Yeenoghu on you. Should you betray us, you will be wracked with horrible pain, but as long as you remain true to your word, it will disappear after all of this is over." He cackles madly. Adran looks at you - you can see fear in his bear eyes, but he does not revert to his normal form.

    You have the chance to refuse, and possibly do either >>7163054 or

    What do you do?
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:48 No.7163176

    I don't think Roosevelt would be able to create such a diabolic ploy, but oh well. What must i do, Mr. King?
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:49 No.7163193

    Forget my previous post, I won't kill Adran. Challenge the motherfucker right now.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:50 No.7163196

    Not fucking sacrificing our bear friend.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:50 No.7163199
    Hmm....I really don't like the elf...but having him attest to our friendship would make >>7163032 more possible.

    Say he is a good bear and it would be a waste....perhaps he would prefer fresh human meat instead?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:52 No.7163225
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:52 No.7163226
    Go with this. Keep the bear, get a human replacement or five.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:54 No.7163246
    No mark of whatever! Quickly, think of something!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)15:56 No.7163262
    Hah, just suckerpunch him in the face and take the tribe.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:57 No.7163273

    No, grab his face and squeeze it until brain soaks out of your fingers.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)15:57 No.7163274
    The chief listens attentively as you suggest the alternative. You mention that he could even see your battle prowess for himself, and know that you would be a valuable ally. He licks his lips, but the gnolls around him begin to mutter in agreement with you - they have not raided in over a week, and they like the idea. "Fine." Redspot says. "We march to the human settlement. There will be blood tonight, friends!". He begins to run, and in a swarming mass, most of the gnolls (read: 95%) charge after him. You realize that the gnolls aren't ones for complicated plans.

    Adran catches your attention. He nods to a large hill outside the camp. He obviously makes it apparent he wants to talk to you. The gnolls are moving away quickly, and you are expected to fight.

    What do you do?
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)15:58 No.7163287

    What's up, are you bearing a trouble?
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:03 No.7163345
    You and Adran go behind the hill, out of sight of gnolls. He shapeshifts into his elf form and turns on you, ignoring your pun. "Are you MAD?" he asks. "If the gnolls raid the human encampment, the humans will send EVEN MORE men to rebuild it, and they'll go on the offensive! The gnolls may not even win this battle, and then we just threw away a major resource! And if the leader dies in battle, they might not even follow us!"

    If you are going to fight, you need to catch up to the gnoll horde soon. What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:04 No.7163354
    This is no time to appear a coward!
    Sprint to the front of the pack, and lead the charge ahead of the Chief!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:06 No.7163372
    Raze the town to the ground, have the elves grow plants over it to appear as if it were never there, and in the meantime kill every caravan that enters the region and hide all traces of them until the re-planting is complete.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:06 No.7163375
    In order to achieve a Strategic goal you sometimes need to plan and have Tactical defeats.

    My hope here is to have the Gnoll leader to die in battle so that I may place a less defiant ruler on top of the Gnoll tribe, only loyal to me.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:07 No.7163377
    make him go back into bear form, skin him, and don your fists with killer gloves of boxing. proceed to punch humans.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:08 No.7163391
    The gnolls are the worst resource. You clearly can't make them do a god damn thing or make deals with them. Also they are dicks. Fuck them.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)16:08 No.7163394

    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:10 No.7163412
    You charge to the front of the pack. Adran shapeshifts back into bear form and follows you. You reach the front of the pack and Redspot slows them to a walk. It's morning, and he has the pack rest in the shade of the trees till midafternoon, upon which he sets out a march again.

    By evening, you have made it outside the human settlement, though all the traveling has made you kind of tired. Large wooden walls surround it. It isn't a small town, but it is no city. Redspot looks at you, panting heavily. "You and me will destroy the barricades. Then we will pour in, and pillage and plunder in the name of Yeenoghu!" The wooden walls are twenty feet high.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:10 No.7163414
    No, this.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/16/09(Wed)16:12 No.7163433

    Go with his plan. You know, accidents can happen in battle, like a certain gnoll being accidentally smashed by a falling wall. Or tree stump. Shaped like a fist.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:12 No.7163438
    why don't we send adran back to the elves and tell them to man the fuck up and attack the human settlement while the opportunity is knocking.

    we catch up to the gnolls and start beating on humans, and hope that the elves are good for their word.

    I'm just saying, the opportunity is here and now, we gamble and take it, or we ignore it and risk making things 10x harder in the long run
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:13 No.7163446
    Charge into wall whilst shouting obscenties. If the toe of the wall is sharpened, pick it up and use it as a pointy stick to jab people.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:15 No.7163462
    Wait until nightfall, and sneak forward to set fires around/against/under the walls.
    Archers bombard any crews spotted trying to extinguish them, while flaming arrows are fired periodically into the housing to start other fires.
    A picket is set so that no-one can flee.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:15 No.7163463
    Wait 'til the sun hides to launch attack as follows: a small Gnoll group of young bravos surrounds the city and attacks 1 minute before mark (mark: me and the Chief attacking). Expected result: death of Gnoll bravos and the diversion of the town's defense to the opposite side, best case scenario they'll think themselves surrounded.
    Frontal assault by me and the Gnoll chief to be followed by teeming masses of Gnoll attackers. Expected result: Main attack, obliteration of frontal defenses, creation of gap, death of Gnoll chief and retreat with some prisoners and slaves.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:16 No.7163472
    Yes, but their motives are easy to understand. They are a fairly good asset. Keep making them our friend.

    Hurl big rocks at the wall-palisade-thingy.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:17 No.7163482
    Not yet. The Elves are a Strategic trump card: one best not revealed until the moment is ripe.

    Til now, this is only just a "monster" attack on a Human settlement. The Elves, Goblins and mayhaps Dorfs will come in handy in the long run when the Treason Dance begins to unfold.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:20 No.7163513
    After being offered as a sacrifice, Adran is more than happy to return to his people. A little too eager - you wonder if he will return as instructed.
    Combining these two, the gnoll bravos (after sundown, of course) sneak up to the town. Pouring some sort of alchemical substance provided by the chief around the base of the walls, they let loose a roar and begin shooting bows/throwing javelins at the guards on top of the wall.

    Redspot looks at you and grins. "Watch the power of Yeenoghu, giant!" He screams a bestial roar, and flames leap from the end of a bone club he has, igniting the bottom of the wall. With a cry, the gnolls surge forward. You leap forward with them, shouting the worst obscenities you can.

    I need attack rolls. 3d6's again, give me a couple of them. Your attacking the wall first, and then you can tell me if your gonna go smashing humans, smashing buildings, or whatever.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:21 No.7163520
    159 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

    This far and no one notices the op has a pic of a giant holding his dick?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:22 No.7163531

    Also, the gnolls and elves aren't best of friends, so there's a high risk of losing one of our newfound allies.


    Quite sound plan. Maybe we can improve it. Is the wind blowing, and can anything be found nearby to make a nice bonfire with?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:22 No.7163538

    Could we make sure that the gnoll leader is injured in the battle, so that we could rescue her. We would make good friens and might not have to take the mark on yeeengolol.

    Maybe send charge with her in the second wave?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:23 No.7163543
    you say that as if it would be an odd occurrence
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:24 No.7163544
    Nah, its just a necrophiliac druid giant. He's really just humping that dead tree.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:24 No.7163545
    rolled 6, 3, 1 = 10

    I reckon we're looking at some defender smashing as our first priority once we get through the walls.
    Keep the chieftain alive for the moment.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:25 No.7163549
    rolled 3, 4, 3 = 10

    Second set
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:26 No.7163554
    rolled 4, 3, 1 = 8

    Gonna throw a vote for trying to wreck valuable targets — releasing horses, setting granaries on fire, etc, assuming we get inside at all.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:26 No.7163556
    Average McAverage
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:27 No.7163566
    rolled 6, 6, 6 = 18

    Stick close to the Chieftain, suggest that you both go after the biggest concentrations of defenders - this will both prove your worth, give you a chance to save his life, and be an efficient plan since you are both total fucking combat monsters.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:28 No.7163569
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    With a punch, you put a large hole through the burning wall. With another one, you bring a five-foot wide portion down. With a screech, gnolls surge past you into the town. The humans haven't even massed their militia yet.

    You hear a crash and see pale flames leaping up from one of the watchtowers. Redspot has broken through, and is cackling wildly.

    A few human guards with pikes are running towards you and your mob of gnolls. A few engage the gnolls, others are obviously focused on you, though visibly frightened.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:28 No.7163571
    four is not a couple bro, just stop rolling
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:29 No.7163577
    Hey, remember: we are Theodore Roosevelt and we must hold ourselves in a manner befitting the namesake.
    Try to avoid injuring those who are young or weak: it just wouldn't be sporting old chap.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:29 No.7163578
    Awww fuuuck yeah, I am Giant-King of Dice.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:30 No.7163587

    Avoid directly killing humans, but feel free to kill those that attack us, focus more on breaking stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:31 No.7163595
    protip: in GURPS, low is good, high is BAAAAAD
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:31 No.7163596
    Now is your time! Betray the gnolls here and now, slaughtering them wholesale. Weave deception and allow humanity to prosper if they leave you be. The elves are proabably planning to betray you, seeing you as a dumb creature of brute force, not as elegant as them.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:31 No.7163598
    'Tis a very cunning plan- I second.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:32 No.7163604
    You punch one of the guards in the head. He flies backward, his head a bloody mound. One of the soldiers leaps in, jabbing your shoulder. You grab the pike and tear it from his grasp. Your blood begins to boil as the legendary rage of the giants builds in you, but you keep your gentlemanly ways and sock this guard once in the chest, knocking him backwards, and then stomping on him. You then take a step and impale a guard that was about to kill a prone gnoll.
    You aren't familiar with human architecture, so you run towards the biggest building and punch it. It is made out of hard rocks though, and while you put a good crack in it, pain shoots up your arm.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:33 No.7163615

    Lucky we're carrying a few big, throwable objects, right?
    Like logs from the wall or rocks, or... Gnolls?
    Anyway, I vote we throw shit at the guys attacking the Gnolls, since they'll be able to flank our adversaries while they stop shitting themselves because we're a damn Hill GIANT.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:33 No.7163616
    >Work more on breaking stuff?
    >Betray gnolls, fight with humanity?
    >Continue stomping human skulls?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:35 No.7163633
    Find boss Gnoll, fight shoulder to shoulder in the brotherhood of warriors to earn his respect.
    Also break things.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:37 No.7163643
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:37 No.7163646
    >shoulder to shoulder
    >hill giant, 10'6, gnoll ~6 foot
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:40 No.7163664
    >Redspot is rather large. He stands about 8 and a half feet. Blessings of Yeenoghu or some such. I'm still getting very mixed answers, decide on something /tg/ :)
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:40 No.7163671
    I'd rather trust a gnoll than a human. Time to smash this town like a cheap teacup.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:41 No.7163675
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:42 No.7163686
    Smash things on the way to Boss Gnoll, then set about killing everything pink in sight.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:44 No.7163696

    Kick it while it's not-quite-down. It's a building, not a person. Queensberry's don't apply to buildings.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:44 No.7163700
    Hey, remember our namesake and ask yourself: What would Theodore Roosevelt do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:45 No.7163717
    Kill an endangered species with his bare hands just for fun?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:46 No.7163720
    Build a micro chip factory.
    Expand production of industrial bateries.
    Build light flying drones armed with machine guns.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:46 No.7163721
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:46 No.7163725
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    >/tg/ speaks!

    You wade your way through the fight, favoring your hurt arm but still adequately tearing shit up. Most of the town is up in flames, thanks to Redspot's pyromania. Moving next to the chief, you bash in more skulls as you move through the town.

    >Your GIANT RAGE increases to level 3. Make a Will check (roll lower than 10) to retain gentlemanly behavior.

    Also, the humans have rallied. Some old human in armor with a big sword is barking directions and cleaving gnolls left and right.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:51 No.7163764
    rolled 6, 5, 3 = 14

    Roar loudly, "He'll make a fine sacrafice!"
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:52 No.7163778
    haha, send redspot to the human commander to get swordmurdered and leave while the humans (now greatly weakened) mop-up the rest of the gnolls.

    Proceed with fiendish elf-gnome-dwarf double krisskross plan of backstabbery
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:52 No.7163783
    We are at least twice as big as the humans, let's use that as an advantage. Grab the old human and throw him as far as we can. If we can't get close enough to him due to all the spears, just pick up one of the soldiers and throw it at the old human instead. If nothing else, it should deal a crippling blow to their morale.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:53 No.7163791
    "Sir, you seem to be the most worthwhile combatant on the field at present. What say you and I finish this battle like real gentlemen: FISTICUFFS!"
    Oh wait, he can't speak giant. Dammit-
    Just indicate you want to duel him in single combat.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:53 No.7163799
    Point out the leader guy to the gnoll boss. She will most propably Charge him. Hurl wagons, rocks and stuff at them both aiming more at the humies. Rescue Gnoll boss if she is injured.

    Take a couple of deep breaths to calm down before any of this.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:55 No.7163819
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:55 No.7163821
    We failed our Will roll, Teddy is far too enraged to care about his gentlemanly code right now.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:57 No.7163841
    You manage to keep your cool, and turn to the gnoll chief. You shout over the din of battle, telling the chief that the old man would make the perfect sacrifice. Redspot, in his bloodlust, leaps forward, bounding towards the old man. Spears lash out at him, stabbing into his legs, shoulders, and stomach, but he does not stop. He brings his huge bone club down on the old man's shoulder before he can lift his greatsword to parry. The gnoll puts a huge dent in his pauldron, but the man remains standing. In retaliation to the attack on their leader, every human within reach jabs Redspot with a spear, turning him into a pincushion. A rallying cry goes up through the human ranks and Redspot's head is hefted on top of a pike.

    Meanwhile, you can literally feel the morale in your gnolls drop. If you are going to take command of the back, you had better do something fast.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)16:57 No.7163848
    >>Fuck, we did fail it didn't we? Lol, oh well, pretend like we succeeded, my bad /tg/
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:58 No.7163854
    hurl redspot at the old human, then charge to finish him off.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)16:58 No.7163863
    >No problem, it's your rules anyway.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:00 No.7163876
    oh, in that case, hurl the nearest human at the human leader

    exort your comrades into a last, desperate charge for the human leader, while he is hopefully down and injured, dealing with getting the human projectile off of himself.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:00 No.7163883
    At the very least, we must retrieve redspot's body (and head), otherwise we MUST kill this man. We could then rally the rest of the gnolls behind us for revenge later.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:01 No.7163885
    Assume command by dint of being the biggest
    Sound a general retreat
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:01 No.7163896
    Sounds like we need to do something stupidly heroic in order to restore morale. Let's give the human leader the mother of all wedgies. Or at least throw him into his own men.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:02 No.7163917
    >you had better do something fast.

    pick up nearest burning house.
    throw at human leader.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:04 No.7163933
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:04 No.7163941
    >Roll 3d6, below 10 to succeed. I promise I'll follow the dice this time.

    You pick up a soldier and hurl him at the captain. Your hurt arm throws you a little off balance.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:05 No.7163954
    rolled 5, 2, 3 = 10

    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:07 No.7163973
    Don't know if FFFFFF
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:07 No.7163974
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:08 No.7163989
    >>7163954 That has to be at least a glancing hit or partial success.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:08 No.7163995
    Glancing hit?
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:10 No.7164019
    >Oh, close one! But I did say roll below 10, so alas...

    The soldier screams as he flies through the air. He passes within a foot of the captain, knocking the soldier with Redspot's head-on-a-pike to the ground. You waste no time though, with a roar you charge at the captain. He sees you, nods and readies his sword.
    >GIANT RAGE increases to 4. Roll below an 8 or go berserk.
    >I need an attack roll. If you aren't raging, anything below a 12 will do. If you are raging, anything below a 15 will do.
    >I also need a damage roll, 1d10 if not raging, 2d10 if you are.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:12 No.7164053
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:12 No.7164060
    rolled 2, 5, 5 = 12

    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:13 No.7164061
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:13 No.7164076
    rolled 6, 4, 2 = 12

    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:14 No.7164085
    i forgot how to shoot dice!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:14 No.7164090
    rolled 2, 6, 2 = 10

    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:14 No.7164091
    rolled 3, 8 = 11

    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:18 No.7164132
    rolled 3, 9 = 12

    >You fail your rage roll.
    Your vision goes red as the legendary RAGE OF THE GIANTS, the only thing stronger than the RAGE OF THE NERD overtakes you. You let out a bloodcurdling roar that visibly shakes the captain.
    >That will work for an attack roll.
    You bring your fist down. Hard. He sidesteps, but the impact of your fist hitting the earth is enough to send him stumbling.

    >Rolling for damage
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:20 No.7164149
    rolled 5, 6, 4 = 15

    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:20 No.7164154
    >I'll use this one.
    You use the opportunity of him being knocked of balance to sock him in the stomach. He is sent sprawling, his armor cracked with the wind knocked out of him. He groans, but you pick him up and bite off his head. You let out a triumphant roar that sends the nearby humans scattering.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:21 No.7164170
    Start killing the gnolls.

    Kill everything.

    Blood for the blood god.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:21 No.7164179
    Let out a victory roar and try to get the attention of the gnolls. If won't boost their morale and make them choose you as their new leader, nothing will.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:22 No.7164183
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:23 No.7164192
    pick up redspots club as a ceremonial sign of command

    delight in your new gnoll hordes, and loose them to pillaging now that resistance has ended.

    We should probably do something about the elven army that may be marching towards us at this very moment, as I doubt the gnolls will be bro's with the elves.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:23 No.7164198
    Don't attack the gnolls, there's still a tiny chance they will be useful. Throw the corpse at someone.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:23 No.7164202
    >Already done.

    >Your call /tg/. Slaughter everything? Blood for the blood god?
    You've obtained enough experience to level up, which you will do after the battle.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:24 No.7164209
    Are we too raged to save gnoll leader? If not do it. If yes do >>7164179
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:25 No.7164224
    declare victory, then pull back the gnolls. we don't know if the elves are coming, and if we can keep them from turning on the gnolls. remmember the Plan, our time has not come yet.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:25 No.7164228
    His head was only cut off! We can staunch the wound!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:26 No.7164234
    If we kill everything, we will just doom ourselves to live the rest of our lives in solitude and roneryness. These gnolls could become the family Teddy never had if he can get them to trust him. Lead the horde!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:26 No.7164237
    Wait. Is he a TROLL or a GNOLL?

    It's important!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:27 No.7164251
    Pick up the PHAT LOOTZ - Human leader's sword will make a fine giant spearhead, and the Gnoll Queen's massive flame-club will make an equally fine... giant flame-club?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:27 No.7164258
    Our objective here was to raze the town and decimate the gnolls as a fighting force. I think we've done quite well with this.

    Now, let's go back and explain to our pet bear parts of our scheme (sanitized for elf ears)
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:28 No.7164276
    Bros before objectives, I say.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:29 No.7164292
    My dear sir.

    These aren't our brethren. These are our /pawns/.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:30 No.7164308
    Grabbing the large bone club and holding it high you survey the battlefield. The town is in ruins. Most of it is a smoldering shell. The humans are either running or dieing at the hands of the gnolls. Both parties have suffered heavy losses, but it is clear that you and your gnolls have triumphed.

    You let out a cry: "I AM KING OF THE GNOLLS, GOOD CHAPS!" The form a ring around you, muttering uneasily. You sense their unease and proclaim that if any of them wishes to challenge you, they may step forward. One large gnoll takes a tentative step forward. You bring the large club down on his head, pulverizing him. The gnolls cheer. "GIANT KING! GIANT KING!" You pillage the village and take captors, then march back to your new territory.

    A new thought comes to your head: fuck just getting your old territory back...perhaps, now that you are king of the gnolls, you may be able to expand your influence...

    >LEVEL UP. Choose a class to level up in: Giant Pugilist (to level 6), Servant of Yeenoghu (to level 1), Giant Berserker (to level 1).

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:31 No.7164312
    Decimating means to reduce by a tenth via executions, that is not we have done.

    Fall back, the rest of the gnolls can be made ours now! At least, until they die for us!
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:32 No.7164336
    I'd say another rank in Pugilist.

    Personally, I'm still just fighting for our home. What everyone else wants might be different.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:33 No.7164349
    Maybe, but what is power and clever schemes when you're SO RONERY? I suggest a compromise: pull back the gnolls, but still declare outselves as leader. We are a civilizen gentlegiant, we can turn these poor brutes into decents members of society.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:33 No.7164353

    Can we get some fluff and chrunch on the various effects of picking a level.

    If taking servant limits our options in dicking around (including just chilling in our home and not fucking wit them) with the smaller races, no go.

    Same for Giant Berserker.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:34 No.7164358
    Wait, did we get all the runners?
    No survivors, mysterious disappearance of the settlement, no immediate launch of retributive crusade, right?
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:36 No.7164391
    >Servant of Yeenoghu is a more casting-like class, similar to 4e's Infernal Warlock. Pretty much what Redspot was doing (to a lesser extent, since we'd only be level 1), lots of FIRE AND DEATH AND BLOOD. At level one, you would be able to have some basic fire spells. Requires semi-regular unwilling sacrifices.
    >>Giant Berserker focuses more on RAGE RAGE RAGE. Like a barbarian. Not very gentleman like.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:36 No.7164393
    Crap, too slow. Well, my point still stands: let's show these poor misguided creatures that there are other joys in life than mindless violence.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:37 No.7164406
    >>Some escaped. You got most of them. Some fled right from the start, others towards the end.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:38 No.7164408
    Before we march off, dye your clothes in the gnoll leaders blood as a sign of respect. He did make a good pawn after all. Also drag his corpse back for proper incineration.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:38 No.7164409
    I think we were quite happy at our little hill. Schemes are a means to an end and hardly the trappings of the life of gentleman.

    Stiff upper lip and all that.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:39 No.7164423
    I vote pugilist, but only because Teddy wouldn't sacrifice people.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:39 No.7164432
    Is the thread autosaging?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:39 No.7164434
    Pugilist. Later on we'll become a boxer and wear regulation gloves stitched from deerhide and stuffed with metal.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:39 No.7164437
    We were fine being so ronery before the story.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:40 No.7164447
    Pugilist, and this.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:40 No.7164453
    Yes, but that was before we had our first taste of actually belonging in a group.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:40 No.7164455
    Could we get some trackers on them or something, perhaps?
    Maybe the elves could get them?
    Hunting hounds?
    I don't now, we need to find and stop them.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:41 No.7164459
    and giant berserker?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:42 No.7164482
    The siren song of power and glory will turn any gentleman, mark my words. We really don't belong to a group anyway, so far we've just been dicking everyone and that's fine with me.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:42 No.7164484
    I vote that we return to the hill and try to find out if there's anything the gnolls are good at, other than maiming and pillaging.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:43 No.7164496
    no we don't, we have our own warhost of gnolls, and an ally of elves.

    by the time they come back, we could possibly have dwarfs and gnomes on our side as well.

    They will respond to a small gnoll warband, and find an entire coalition of forces allied against them.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:44 No.7164510
         File1261003456.jpg-(116 KB, 600x800, chap.jpg)
    116 KB
    Awesome story,m eh contribution by me.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:44 No.7164518
    We need to see if we can get the gnolls to stop fighting the elfs.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:44 No.7164519
    But at war with itself, will be most entertaining.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:45 No.7164529
    NEW THREAD. >>7164514

    Someone got the archive link for this one?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:45 No.7164530
    rolled 60 = 60

    Nice thread, OP. Just finished reading, will be joining in now. I must say though, we need to remember Teds gentlemanly roots.

    Gentleman hill giant with conflicting rage personality. I like it.
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:46 No.7164547
    Correct, which is why I suggest we avoid any further bloodshed and go back to a peaceful life in the hill. Except we'll have the gnolls there too now. Maybe we could set up a choir or a barbershop quartet?
    >> Anonymous 12/16/09(Wed)17:47 No.7164557
    Seconded, archive link please.
    >> Theodore Rossevelt, Hill Giant Extraordinare !!0vz0retDvfb 12/16/09(Wed)17:48 No.7164564
    This one is too big, lets go to the new one guys.
    I'm so happy we're all enjoying this!

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