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12/11/09(Fri)11:17 No.7089920A dwarf is captured by elves, taken to their deepest dungeons, and strapped to a chair. The elves torture him for information and secrets, but the dwarf is steadfast and tenacious, enduring everything they throw at him and telling them absolutely nothing. He spits at the face of the head torturer.
At this point the screen goes black, showing a large warning to all dwarves that they should not continue on further, that the final scene is one of the most perverted scenes ever recorded on film. But of course, it's the scene all these perverted and nasty dwarves have been waiting for, and none leaves.
The tortures haul inside a barrel full of liquid. They give the dwarf a single taste to confirm that yes, it is indeed the finest dwarven mead from the year 1197, of which only a few barrels remain and which is only drunk at the most festive of situations. Grinning horribly, the elves slowly pour it all on the floor, from which it all flows to the drain, forever lost. The dwarf screams and wails in horror, and finally, when only half a barrel is left, he yields and reveals the darkest secrets of the dwarves.
(But rest assured, young dwarves: during the filming, the ale wasted was in fact of the year 1455, much more common and less tasty, which just happens to look very much like the year 1197, and is thus always used in movie scenes where it is involved.) |
