We gotta roll your stats too?

In what fashion, and for what price?

>>6828109
Or give an image of you in female form?

For a long time I thought the character in op's pic was a little gremlin with arms outstretched because he wanted a hug.

/co/ here

/tg/! DONT HELP THIS EVIL CREATURE OR WAR WILL BE APON YOU

>>6828143
You lost me.

Enlighten us with valid arguments please.

>>6828143
He hasn't even told us what he wants yet, fuck.

>>6828120
I know we rolled the stats already for Jack and his Scottish friend.

>>6828120

PAHAHAHAHAHA! The thought that your pathetic "stats" could capture my MIGHT and GLORY is laughable! No, I require assistance of a more...personal nature.

>>6828125

Should your assistance prove useful, priceless jewels will RAIN DOWN upon you!

You see...some time ago, I...let us say, acquired...a human child. She has...grown on me, and has taken the name Aki!

However, recently she has been referencing some sort of...HUMAN CUSTOM known as the Giving of Thanks. I am unfamiliar with your human hol-ee-days, and Aki MUST NOT be disappointed!

I'm going to bed, /tg/. I expect this thread to be on sup/tg/ in the morning. Please do not disappoint me.

>>6828190
Only if it's epic enough.

>>6828179
Oh shit brosef we can handle that.
Though i don't know what that has to do with traditional games. Except for that fact that /tg/ will do anything for an adorable little girl.

Thankgiving is a giant feast in honor of george washington, god of turkey. On the first thanksgiving, george washington with his mighty axe, riding a giant turkey, killed all the native americans. And so, to celebrate the holiday, you kill and eat several large animals, as well as all manner of plants (potatoes of many varieties are popular) usually in the company of mighty warriors.

>>6828208
Sounds about right. Though, I recall something about oxen.

>>6828208
I think he came to us since we are the ones who saddled him with and helped teach Aki to be evil.

>>6828218

Wasn't that because there were oxen with the pilgrims he saved?

>>6828218
What about the bear jousts between one man dressed as a pilgrim and the other as a red coat?

>>6828208
Large quantities of mead are consumed as well. Games and feats of strength, agility and general manliness are expected of the men, and feats of cunning, dexterity and poise expected of the woman.

Lord Aku you must teach Aki the art of the Ninja, the prowess of a master tactician and most importantly, the fine art of the Ballroom Dance, and all in 4 short days!

Warrior...large animal...oxen...po-tay-toes...

What kind of 'large animals' do you humans feast upon for this tradition?

>>6828208
>don't know what that has to do with traditionsal games
>/tg/
>ThanksGiving

>>6828251
Bald eagles and Italian elephants. Though the Italian elephants may be hard to come by, seeing as a very dapper gentleman with a fine beard and moustache by the name of Hubert put them to extinction with his own bare hands in the 20's.

>>6828179
Also:
Aku, Shapeshifting Master of Darkness.
Chaotic Evil Outsider.
Level 40 Generalist Wizard (Archmage)/Druid Gestalt.

Str: 30
Dex: 18
Con: 46
Int 60
Wis 30
Cha 30

Notable Feats:
Spell mastery
Natural Spell
Spellcasting Prodigy (Int)
Spellcasting Prodigy (Wis)
Improved Toughness
Diehard.
Epic Spellcasting
All Wild Shape Feats

>>6828251
At least one whale. And Aki will be sorely disappointed if you don't have the traditional cheddar peppers!

>>6828270
A honey glaze on that whale is a good idea as well.

>>6828251
The aformentioned elephants, bald eagles, and whale. In recent years the elephant is replaced with a boar (or 3)
Also cows, chickens, ducks, and pigs in poorer regions.

>>6828270
God help you if you forget the cheddar peppers.

Your human traditions must be very important to you to go to such lengths to accomplish and immortalize them.

>>6828270
Cheddar...peppers. Very well!

>>6828244
Games, even? The way Aki spoke of it, I did not expect it to involve a veritable festival of activity...

>>6828286
Indeed but make sure to cook it at 350 or the glaze will burn before the blubber gets nice and juicy.

>>6828107
please stop spamming ＡｎｏｎＴａｌｋ .com thanks

Oh god, I remember that thread. Epic, to say the least.

As far as you go, Aku, just make sure to have a large feast of epic proportions, fit for your dark reign prepared. You know, really splurge. And hell, give your servants the day off. Most of them, anyways. There's really nothing for the Master of Darkness to give thanks for, beyond your adopted daughter, mind you, but still give thanks nonetheless. Have a yearly custom, and stick to it. Mine is to eat until I can't eat any more, eat some more, and watch football until I pass out, then wake up and eat a little more. Maybe you could go out on the town with Aki, flaunt your power a bit. If Jack shows up, casually dismiss him, call a truce, or whatever. And we even did this sort of thing during WW2, so you can all have a day off. Fun family times.

>>6828293
You must remember the Feats of Strength! The head of the household (which I would assume is you, glorious Lord Aku) must challenge a guest to a bout of wrestling, whereby the holiday may only be considered complete when the challenged has wrestled the head of the household to the floor.

>>6828293
>Your human traditions must be very important to you to go to such lengths to accomplish and immortalize them.
Hell, if you think tihs is elaborate, you better start preparing for christmas NOW.

>>6828109
Hey uncle Aku, good to see you again! It seems that these guys have given you some good advice about Thanksgiving.

How have things been going with you and Aki lately?

>>6828301
Shut it, spambot, the big men are talking.

>>6828304
>and watch football until I pass out
He's still asking about the cheddar peppers and whale glaze, don't even start on football yet.

>>6828328
>Talking to a spambot.

>>6828335
Right, forgot he's not sentient anymore.

>>6828344
No, only the Suicide Girl spambot is sentient. This one can barely make it through actual spamming.

THANK GIVING? HOW LONG DID I SLEPT?!

Also, I'm assuming that what we are suggesting is what Thanksgiving actually is here. Otherwise Aki will be quite disappointed. And Aku wouldn't like that, I'd wager.

But yeah, going on the assumption that this is all how it really is, good job.

>>6828351
GET OUT OF HERE, STALKER

>>6828304
>If Jack shows up, casually dismiss him, call a truce, or whatever.
BETTER YET, INVITE HIM, AND PROVE YOUR STRENGTH BY WRESTLING HIM TO THE GROUND IN THE CUSTOMARY FEATS OF STRENGTH!

>>6828357
GODDAMMIT.

>>6828304
Feast...give the servants the day off? Well...I suppose they can leave upon finishing the preparation of the MIGHTY FEAST for Aki and myself.

>>6828318
Krist-mahs? A very foreboding name for a human hol-ee-day.

>>6828323
Ah! The Researcher known as Sam. Yes, yes, I remember you. The mini-a-ture cloud that rains PRICELESS JEW-EHLS made it to your abode without incident, I hope?

Her teachings go well, as do her lessons of magic. A suitable place of learning is still being decided upon for her to attend.

>>6828363
Agreed. And since this is wrestling, no magic sword.

>>6828363
And then sit down and enjoy some football with a nice warm cup of spider nog.

>>6828363
EVEN BETTER! INFLATE THE TANNED SKIN OF A PIG INTO AN ELLIPSE, AND GO INTO THE BACKYARD FOR A GAME OF "BULLDOG", OR AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW IT, "SMEAR THE QUEER".

Take said ball into backyard, and suddenly toss it to Jack, and while it is in midair, shout SMEAR THE QUEER and bum rush him while he's still suprised.

Ah, memories...

>>6828384
You're thinking of Easter, dude.

>>6828384
>>6828377
Don't any of you just spent your holidays burning heretics and witches? An I the only person here who appreciates that?

>>6828394
I think he's planning forward.

>>6828396
We're Americans, Varity, not space nazis.

>>6828373
Well I am glad I could help! And yes, the jewel cloud arived and I now have more wealth than I know what to do with, and am living quite comfortably.

Perhaps once you've finalized the Thanksgiving plans, we should all discuss candidates for Aki's school?

>>6828396
No I just spend my Holiday at the Army Warehouse area.

>>6828405
Even Europeans would do the American way.

Besides, have you seen today's gas prices lately, Varity.

>>6828412

Yes, her place of schooling would be a productive topic of discussion. However, at the present time, this Giving of Thanks would appear to require more preparation than my initial belief.

Oh, hey Mr. Ebon Dragon.
How has life been? I got the invitation to your wedding, I'll be sure to be there.
Tell Adorjan I said hi, would you?
You're a pal.

>>6828405
Awh, everyone can appreciate burning heretics and purging the unclean etc. Fun for the whole family!
>>6828422
Surely a few thousand dollars of fuel spent on an enjoyable afternoon with the family is worth the expenditure.
>>6828417
Actually, Thanksgiving is my birthday. Hooray me, though I often find it overshadowed by such a coincidental overlap.

the greatest part of said thanksgiving though is to remember that we weren't always this way, so be sure to give thanks for chaos and get me some new arms before

>>6828432

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

I am not this "Ebon Dragon", though you are not the first to make this mistake. I am continually receiving postage meant for him.

Get out of my palace, and take this worthless pile of paper with you.

>>6828417
watch out for the blood sucker

>>6828443
We have something called freedom of religion in America. It allows me to worship Eris, Goddess of Chaos as freely as I please *and* the fundies are allowed to rage at me all they want. Though burning "heretics" is quite illegal, not protected by the Constitution.
Though we do enjoy burning other things. Such as wood. And Mexicans.
Oh yeah, Lord Aku, don't forget the living Thanksgiving pinata. You take a live Mexican, remove his organs, and stuff him with turkey gibblets. At midnight, you have the children hit him with sticks before giving him a dip in the deep frier.

Just keep him talking...

>>6828466
BLOOD SUCKER?! Whe

>>6828430
True. Why, it is even more complicated than I remember. Kids these days, always tacking on new traditions. Ah well...

Now, for the Italian Elephants, you have to be sure to have them cooked thoroughly, lest the center end up uncooked. Long, slow cooking would probably be best, but I'm sure your cooks are of the highest quality, and will know what to do.

Now, some people like to have the whale stuffed with Cheddar Peppers, but some prefer to have them on the side. Given the size of the creature, it should be simple to do both, stuffing part of it and leaving other areas untouched.

>>6828469
Such gruesome parts of the holiday are usually left for the adults though, right? *Ignores the part about children breaking it*

Besides, you wouldn't want the kids having all the fun, would you?

>>6828476
Looks like someone...

>>6828476
...became dinner

>>6828500
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

>>6828500

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>6828469
Sounds like heresy to me. Eh... but what are you gonna' do I suppose. Gather your friends about and burn some Mexicans then, you can pretend they're heretics.

>>6828480

Yes, yes, let me write this down...

Elephant of Italy...cheddar peppers...outside...inside...

What of the animal known as "turr-kee"? Aki has mentioned it several times, and I will NOT overlook ANYTHING for her first Giving of Thanks in the Palace!

>>6828512
>>6828508

YEAHmind

>>6828179
The day of Giving Thanks is the day we set aside to thank any and all supernatural beings that may have been aiding us.

When we were new to the land we live in now, it was already inhabited by a nuerous people with ancient traditions. Instead of slaying the refugees our ancestors were, they took pity on us and allowed us a small parcel of land to live on, and pointed out which foods were healthy to eat. they turned a blind eye toward us, thinking us harmless. in time we grew strong, and slowly displaced them, until they were forced to live in small parcels of land and we controlled the entire continent. Their names are now forgotten and inconsequential. Their culture is dust and ash.

The day is typically celebrated by gathering with clan-ates and family and partaking in the flesh of a slain bird of minimal intelligence, as well as ground roots with a particularly sweet taste, and sweetened pies made from the creamy pulp found inside large orange gourds.

>>6828516
The turkey is the guest of honour, brought in on a silver chariot drawn by a pair of unicorns down a red velvet carpet. It is to be seated to the left of the head of household and is the official adjudicator should the Feats of Strength have a questionable outcome. The turkey also leads the toast and gives the Speech of Thanks.

>>6828516
Similar to the eagle, it is served in lesser feasts when an eagle cannot be acquired.

>>6828516
I believe it is a sort of fowl indigenous to Earth. Apparently quite large, and often cooked for a substantial amount of sustenance. Also often stuffed with various other foods. I believe there was a sort of dish that contained several other foods that would be their own main courses, such as duck or chicken. I imagine such a culinary creation would be quite delicious.

>>6828498
>>6828500
>>6828508
>>6828512
...I..I'm not dead...yet.

I need a medkit!

>>6828465
I dunno pal, you sure seem like him.
You're the Master of Darkness, yes? So let me ask you this, does the Master of Darkness have a shadow?
The only person without a shadow is the true Magnificent Bastard of Bastards, the Shadow of All Things. Obviously a Shadow doesn't have his own shadow, in turn.

Or are you saying you're NOT the Nemesis, the Most Glorious Dick, and the Ur-Antagonist?

>>6828516

Almost there...

>>6828535
Clearly someone got into the wine early...

>>6828543
This sounds about right. Thank you, Sister.

>>6828548
Sorry buddy, I'm all out.

Hey, why is the sky turning red?

>>6828562
Not wine persay...
More like whiskey.
And a lot of it.

Oh--excuse me a moment.

>>6828554
I think not, samoorai! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

>>6828571
>>6828548
GET OUT OF HERE, STALKERS

>>6828571
Huh? OH SHIT AN EMISSSSIIIIOOOONNN*Emission'd*

>>6828577
Ha ha ha, oh man, that gets me every time...

>>6828572
Well, as long as you sober up in time for the feast, you'll be okay, right?

>>6828577

AKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- pant pant wheeze-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>6828613
I really need to turn down my speakers.

>>6828543
Ah, here it is: http://homecooking.about.com/od/turkeyrecipes/ss/turduckensbs.htm
You know, now that I look at it, that does appear quite delicious... now I'm hungry...
>>6828562
Of course, of course.
>>6828577
He looks kind of evil, is that heresy? Should I be throwing myself at him with righteous fury or something? Honestly not really sure what it is.

>>6828607
Hopefully.
But then the acid is going to kick in and things'll become interesting.

>>6828613
Looks like someone
*puts glasses on*

>>6828632
...RAN out of time.

>>6828583
It's cool, here's an anti-radiation artifact. I'm tripping over them.

Shame about the bleeding though...

>>6828630
Naw, Aku's a really cool guy. He torments Samurai Jack and doesn't afraid of anything.
>>6828632
DAMMIT, NOT AGAIN

>>6828650
Already finished.

Also, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

>>6828630
Who, the guy in white? He's some samurai dude who is trying to kill uncle Aku because he thinks he's evil or something. Which is obviously not true, as evidenced by his love and care for Aki. Aku took Aki in after her father was murdered (Her mother was dead already, presumably). So this Jack guy (The samurai) would be taking her father from her. Again.

>>6828613

'Till we meet again, samoorai...HA HA HAAAAAAA.

>>6828630
So you actually -eat- the bird in question?

Human hol-ee-days are hard...

>>6828643
It time like this...I..I wish for a healing power..instead of the power to build and fix everything....damn Wish Granter...

>>6828663
Yup. If you have your chefs prepare it like that website Sister Varity posted, you should be fine.

>>6828683

BE SILENT, ALREADY!

>>6828650
>>6828662
I dunno', still looks pretty heresy...
>>6828663
Well yes, you don't have to, but it would kind of be a waste if you didn't. Unless you simply enjoyed the time you spent cooking it, I suppose.
>>6828685
Or you could have others cook it. Can you even eat things? I don't really even know what an Aku is, so I'm not quite fit to be offering suggestions.

>>6828693
*pew pew* laser eyes.

>>6828663
You could go with my guest of honour tradition if you want, Lord Aku.
>>6828696
Aku is the Shapeshifting Master of Darkness, what's not to like?

>>6828696
Don't know who uncle Aku is?!?!? Here, read this:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6725440/

That should tell you all you need to know.

>>6828693
Looks like someone...

Nah, just kidding.

>>6828693
Oh my God, they killed STALKER!

Ah! I am reminded of the previous occasion I made myself known to the mortals of /tg/...

They desired to return to the subject of me and my daughter when more of the homosexuals of writing and drawing were present. Tell me, do we have these..."fags" in attendance this time?

>>6828719

>>6828705
I dunno'.... 'Master of Darkness' is sounding pretty heretical...
>>6828709
Hm... that seems kind of nice to be heresy...
>>6828737
I don't think so, not yet. However, have you yet considered the additional things to cook for Thanksgiving? It is traditional to cook far more than a turkey.

>>6828746
shit i miss the STALKE comic dump thread

>>6828746
Hmm... That's not the right image at all >_>

>>6828737
AKU! I COME WITH GRAVE NEWS! Most of the people in this thread are Trolls in the Guise of Humans! The truth is if you want Aki to have a great Thanksgiving you should ask her to teach you. Get her involved with the planning and all. It's meant to be a family thing. I must go now. The trolls shall try to feast on my bones!

>>6828756

Well, let me see...I have the turkey, thanks to your assistance. I also have po-tay-toes, and the Elephant of Italy. A Bald Eagle was also recommended.

>>6828756
Well we have Whales, stuffed and unstuffed, Italian Elephants, various vegetable dishes. I think there is enough food so far to-WAIT!

The cranberry sauce!!! Dear god man, you must have the cranberry sauce!

>>6828774
He lies my lord. Do not listen to him! He is but a servant of those few who oppose your majesty and power!

>>6828719
You Bastards!

>>6828793
And of the candied yams and the sweet potato pies.
And the pumpkin pies and spice cakes.
And the gravy, which may be gibblet, poultry, brown, or country.

>>6828774
Actually, that is a rather good suggestion, not that I'm good with parenting. I was under the assumption that neither of them knew what to do for such an event.
>>6828785
Hm... let me think... Cranberries... yams... gravy... various fruits and vegetables... and, of course, the stuffing. Delicious stuffing.

>>6828774
I was under the assumption that this is what Thanksgiving had become in the future. Obviously, there was that one guy who was inebriated, but we called him on it.

>>6828819

Hrm.

Perhaps I will begin the planning for this hol-ee-day...but...

>>6828774
May not be telling a complete lie...I will involve Aki with the planning. Just in case. This Giving of Thanks must go gloriously!

>>6828859
Any chance I can come too? The rest of the family is away this year, and I was sorta hoping...

>>6828859
OH GOD! THEY'RE EATING MY RIBS! REMEMBER AKU! MOST OF ALL! YOU MUST NOT FORGET THE AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHGFSYADHFYGEYFBGHG

>>6828880

Hmm...you HAVE been quite loyal in your service...

...Very well, very well, you may come. But advances made towards Aki will not be tolerated on the Giving of Thanks!

>>6828859
It is also about the atmosphere. You are supposed to surround yourself with friends and family, I don't know what you have for family... or if you have friends... so you'll think of something. Not that I'd really know about family, orphan and all, just recalling facts.
>>6828892
That's just disgusting...

>>6828910

We would never think to make such bold advances towards the lovely lady Aki.

But I must ask this... If she makes the first move, are we allowed to respond in kind, or shall we just ignore her? In either case, I feel we would be offending you, great lord Aku, in denying your beloved one's attention, or returning it in kind.

>>6828910
What? Of course, I'd never think to do such a thing. She's ten years younger than me!

But thank you, uncle Aku. So are you gonna ask Aki about Thanksgiving?

>>6828928
RAPE HER

>>6828939

>>6828939
There are far less painful ways to commit suicide you know.

>>6828949
>>6828939
BE READY!
SET!
CHARRRRGGGGGEEEEEEEE!

>>6828959
>>6828949
>>6828939

>>6828984
OH YEAH?

>>6828978
>>6828984
WHEN ONE OF US FALL.

TEN MORE WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

>>6828992

>>6828978
Uh... I think it's angry...you should probably watch out for-
>>6828984
Ooohh........ not a good holiday for them...

>>6828984
>>6828992
When lightning and rainbows collide...

>>6829001
Then Aku will just kill those ten as well. Thirty or three hundred, it makes no difference to him. Such evil must be purged. Right Sister?

>>6829006

>>6829015
KILL THE BEAST! FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPEROR!

rolled 6, 5, 4 = 15

>>6829017

>>6829017

Yes, well, getting back to the matter at hand...

>>6828928
YOU WILL NOT RECIPROCATE! ...At least...not on the Giving of Thanks. If she really feels strongly about it...you can...hnnngh...speak to her about it on a day that is not the Giving of Thanks!

>>6828938
She has not yet absorbed enough of my dark power to cast off the need for sleep. She is resting at the moment, and I will speak of it with her after the making of the morning pancakes.

>>6829015
AKU IS A MONSTER

WE MUST DEFEAT HIM FOR MANKIND

>>6829036

>>6829015
Wait... but.... who's the evil? I'm confused... an Aku looks pretty evil to me...
>>6829026
>>6829039
Now I'm quite confused... heresy normally isn't this complicated...

rolled 1, 6, 1 = 8

>>6829038
What do you put on your pancakes, Lord Aku?

Well this has gotten off topic. Flash forwards to after the battle, Aku emerging victorious?

>>6829039
NO U

>>6829049
Sister the answer is simple: AKU IS A MONSTER! SAMURAI JACK IS ONE OF THE LOST PRIMARCH

>>6829015

The wrath of Aku can only be stopped by that one angry little bastard with the magic sword. And I think he is off playing with monkeys or getting his sandals fixed. Either or, I wish that this Thanksgiving is delightful for you and Aki.

I could bring you some of our finest +Giant Cave Spider Roasts+ They are made with the finest pieces of giant cave spider meat, basted in a divine dwarven syrup sauce, accented with thinly cut plump helmet slices, and topped with shelled rock nuts. I promise you, o' shapeshifting master of darkness, you will find it a truly divine meal, worthy of sparing the dwarven fortresses for another decade.

And if that is not enough to bring a touch of drool to your lips, we also have an entire wagon worth of our finest ales, wines, beers, meads, rums, brews, and even some liquid sunshine! If you wish, we could cook them into fine soups. Don't ask how we do it, I don't even know.

>>6829061
Time travelling does a lot of weird things.

Like this, for instance.

>>6829061
THIS MAN LIES, LORD AKU IS MOST DEFINITELY A NOT-SO-BAD GUY.

>>6829049
Well Sister, you usually fight Chaos, right? And Chaos is evil, right? Entropy of the universe and all that. Aku has taken Aki as his own daughter, and with her as an influence, become a better person. He seeks to improve himself, not merely for himself, but for others. That doesn't sound like Evil or Chaos to me.

But ultimately, the decision is your.

>>6829071
In b4 emperor laser eyes.

>>6829050

I put FIRE, BRIMSTONE, and EEEEEEEVIL on my pancakes!

Ho ho, no, I jest. I put butter, the syrup of maple, and liberal amounts of bacon on each layer of my pancakes. Depending on my mood on a given morning I may put other things on.

>>6829071

From the God Emperor's mouth to your ears folks!

>>6829061
>>6829071
Now I'm exceedingly confused... when I'm confused I usually burn everything, the Emperor can sort it out... if it's not heresy, it'll be okay, right?

>>6829071
Pretender! Aku is a monster and a plague to mankind!

>>6829097

FOOL! This world is MY property; you shall not damage it. Any heresy that dwells here is the property of Aku!

>>6829097

If you ask me, Aku seems like a heavy handed Planetary Governer, who is also an alpha level psyker to boot. The tithe is given every year, in the form of a rain of gem stones, each of which is easily worth a hundred or so thrones.

His methods may be unothodox, but he keeps his planet safe, and the PDF ready.

It's just that one damned warp spawn, Jack, who keeps causing him shit....

>>6829097
Well who do you trust more, the Emperor or some random guy from the streets. Not to mention, if Jack were a primarch, where is his armor? Or immense psychic powers?

rolled 2, 3, 6 = 11

>>6829111

>>6829112
Saying you own heresy means you're a heretic.

Choose your next words with exceptional care.

>>6829111
LIES AND SLANDER!

>>6829120
An excellent analogy.

>>6829112
I was only sayin-... wait, you DO have heresy?

>>6829111
I AM SO NOT THE PRETENDER. YOU ARE.

>>6829097
>This thread.
LETS START PURGING

>>6829128
No, see he means that it is in his domain, and is therefor his duty to eradicate. Right uncle Aku?

>>6829141

Did I say that? No, I did not, foolish woman. I said that if any did exist, it would be my property.

>>6829111
I believe a God-Emperor outranks that of a normal Emperor.

>>6829141

Yes. That heresy has a name. It is Jack. He defies the will of the Emperor and tries to strike down Aku, so he may be sent back in time and destroy him before he ever became the Planetary Govener, thus throwing this entire sector to Chaos, as the might of Aku is what helps keep those damned beings at bay.

And I take it you will not be desiring the Giant Cave Spider roasts, lord Aku? We can send them back to the fortress, if you so desire.

>>6829122

>>6829142
Your a Chicken.

>>6829111
>>6829122
>>6829142
There are far too many Emperors in here now!
>>6829151
Awh, my picture...seeing that warms my heart...
>>6829165
Why would anyone want to possess heresy? >>6829153
>>6829168
Oh? Heresy? Time travel? That sounds pretty heretical...

>>6829168

Ah--no, but your tribute will not go unnoticed.

...Aki is not fond of spiders, you see.

>>6829168
>>6829153
These are wise men, and you would be smart to listen to their words.

>>6829188
Bah, you've clearly stolen that from him. Might have killed him too. The proof is you lack of any psychic talent, even the most rudimentary of psychic defenses.

>>6829188
WHAT? NO I'M NOT.

>>6829203

As you wish, lord Aku. The workers will rejoice and be saddened at this. Still, please accept this thousand some odd gallons worth of the finest booze our halls can create.

I would suggest you try a small cup of it first, or sample some of the surface plant brews first. They are clearly marked. Our booze tends to be less alcohol, more rocket fuel.

>>6829200
>Awh, my picture...seeing that-
*Shades over helmet*
-*warms* my heart...

>>6829209
Humanity...has fallen too far.

I will take my leave now.

>>6829229
YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>6829239

SEE?! He is a fraud! The true God Emperor would never let something as petty as a couple of nay sayers tell him off!

He would fucking make their heads explode like grapes! You hack!

How heretical is it to impersonate the Emperor, Sister Varity?

>>6829125
Best character, ever.

This now is now completely derailed.

>>6829239
OF COURSE YOU WILL, AS YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY THE IMPOSTER.

>>6829239
Which leaves only the true God-Emperor. See Varity? He prevailed, just like I knew he would!

Hmmm.

Aku is a shapeshifter. That seems pretty Tzeentch to me…

>>6829226

Booze?

Ah, yes, I remember the concoctions brewed in the depths of your hall...inform your people that Lord Aku is pleased with their offering! A fine offering it is, as well. You have gained much favor this day. You will find your attempts at trade to be fruitful and full of reward.

>>6829262
IT HAS NOT DERAILED, IT HAS ONLY NATURALLY PROGRESSED AS CONVERSATIONS ARE WONT TO DO.

>>6829275
So, is it time for pancakes yet? My sense of time always gets skewed when I have to denounce false Emperors.

>>6829253
I'd say that's pretty heretical. Probably, if there was an end to the heresy scale, it would be right up there next to failing to properly recite the Fede Imperialis before battle. Which is pretty heretical.

>>6829141
Heretic Witch SCUM! Do you not know the True Emprah when you see Him?

>This whole damn thread
....What?

>>6829298
One big stupid game of pretend in lieu of content.

>>6829298

>>6829298
YEAH, I WAS LIKE THAT TOO. FOR LIKE A SECOND. AND THEN I WAS ALL "WAIT, THANKSGIVING. THAT'S THE LAST MAJOR NON-HERETICAL HOLIDAY BEFORE EMPEROR'S DAY." AND THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THE PRESENTS I WOULD NEED TO DELIVER.
NOW WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

>>6829288
.... *sneaks up behind varity and hops onto her shoulders* Why there so many people in armor these days? Its like the world is full of adventurers!

>>6829275

We are glad to have pleased you, lord Aku. Yes, we may have to drink water *Shudder* For a few weeks as the next batch brews, but it is a sacrifice we are all willing to make to help our beloved lord have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Oh, in one of the barrels, we put a selection of fine cheeses as well. I would suggest the 0034 plump helmet wine, with a thin slice of the ivory white dwarven cheese (Don't worry, it's not made from dwarven milk.) on a light rye cracker. It's a decadent meal in itself.

>>6829304

>>6829310

>>6829291
Witch? That's an awful heretical and arbitrary thing to accuse someone in my position. But I honest-
>>6829310
Ahh! What are you doing Xeno-thing?! Get off!

>>6829324

I want it's skin Varity! I WANT IT'S SKIN!

Looks like it could make quite a nice cap. The ol' kitten leather one is just not cutting it with winter coming....

>>6829324
WATCH IT. Silly almost hit me! Adventurers don't hit other adventurers! Silly woman. And what is woman doing in armor anyway? You don't look like cleric to me!

SO GETTING BACK ON TRACK:

What next Aku? Do you have Tanksgiving well in hand now? Should we discuss Aki's future schooling?

>>6829287

Unfortunately, it will not be time for pancakes for several hours yet. Though soon I must depart, to begin making the initial preparations for the Giving of Thanks. Then pancakes will be had, and I will begin planning in earnest with Aki.

..H..Heh..haha..Hahah..HAHAHA...*Try to crawl away*

>>6829343
By the Emprahs, where do you think you are going, xenos filth?

>>6829359
I SAID COME IN, DON'T STAND THERE

>>6829334
....You want to wear it's skin?
>>6829336
I'm not an adventurer! Cleric? I'm not quite the same thing! Why are you on my shoulder?

>>6829370
*Crawl inside the bar* YO BARKEEP! Ugh..GET ME SOME DRINKS AND MEDKITS..AND SOME BANDAGE TOO!

>>6829365

>>6829340
Aki's schooling can wait until after the Giving of Thanks. I am told that the next "term" of schooling will not begin for some time. As a result, an immediate decision is not necessary. I must be away soon, to confer with my chefs and servants.

>>6829334
Dorf. I am honorary member of carpfish fortress! You cannot wear me!
>>6829376
Not adventurer? Why in armor? Soldier? Woman soldier? BWAHAHA- and I on shoulder because I felt short down there.

>>6829388
OH GODS ITS A DRAGON GET IN THE DIMENSIONAL PORTAL.

>>6829376

Waste not want not, Sister Varity.

What do you do with all the xenos you kill? We turn them into clothing, decoration, use their bones for weapons and trinkets, and use their meat and fat for food.

Yes, barbaric, but it keeps them from coming back to our door steps.

>>6829365

Do not resist. You WILL be assimilated to the Furry Borg.

>>6829388
Very well then. Another time, perhaps? And thanks again for letting me join you for the celebration. Good night.

>>6829389

Carpfish fortress.....

That just makes me want to kill you all the more.

Now where did I put my -Cat Bone Lasgun-

>>6829404

Yes, rest well, Researcher of Sam. I must depart as well...it is getting a little crowded in here.

AWAY WITH YOU ALL. When did insanity become so commonplace?

You! Master of foodstuffs! I must speak with you...

>>6829412
WHY?! I DEFEATED CARPIMUS PRIME! Carpfish fortress is named because it is the only thing keeping the carps spawning grounds at bay!

>>6829389
Well I suppose it's rather a combination of cleric and soldier... in a loose sense...
Wait... what's a carpfish fortress and how does that make you less of a filthy Xeno?
>>6829400
The Xenos I kill? I burn them, usually with a melta but sometimes a flamer if I can't get my hands on the prior. There's usually not much left, which is a good thing.
>>6829412
Feel free to shoot.

>>6829404

You? Who are you...? You are not me.

>>6829402

There should totally be a campaign about this. Fursuit cyborg hivemind infecting entire galaxies.

>>6829425

Is there something you need, lord Aku? Or are you refering to your master chef?

>>6829402
*squawk* Thats it, we have mention of the Enemy. Digamma, Decimatio, Duodecies, by the Emprahs Will so let it be done

A..Alright..he's gone *Stand up* TIME TO LOOT HIS PALACE!

>>6829433
Cleric... soldier... PALADIN, paladins are funny, always praying to their god and smiting for good. They make great trap springers. And xeno?... wut dat mean?

>>6829430

You have prevented the most ruthless of our foes from traveling the waters of the world, thus preventing countless generations of dorfs to be able to test their skills against the finned menace, leading us into a complacent, peaceful race. Your acts have weakened the dorfen race.

Christ, guys, I was hoping for a pleasant little roleplay about Aku being hilariously oblivious about things that Aki grew up with.

Then you got weird on me, then fucking batshit with several Emprahs, LOL SO RANDUMB bullshit, and general insanity.

Kinda hoping this hasn't been archived yet. I sure as fuck won't weep if it never does.

>>6829459
Paladin?

And Xeno, well that's anything not human.

>>6829482

There's my favorite angry lady. Dear girl how are you?

>>6829471
My work here is done.

>>6829452
You hear a low growl, and sudden thumps of large, clawed feet getting closer

But, you didn't see anything like that coming in...

>>6829471
>BAAAAAWWW U GUISE DO WHAT I WANT U GUISE I'M THE GM NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME

>>6829503
..That's bad...OHGOD THESE THING ARE EVERYWHERE OHGODWT

>>6829471
For your information you should keep check with the time.

Usually round 00:00 4chan time it's the best time to post, cause there arent so many spammers crawling on /tg/.

>>6829522

More like "when did everyone suddenly become such fags?"

But hey, that's /tg/ for you. When it's not amazing you, it's trolling the fuck out of you.

>>6829526
ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>>6829557
OH GOD BLOODSUCKER! I FUC

>>6829556
Bah, pay them no heed, it was fun. Good luck with Thanksgiving, Aku.

>>6829598
Fun it was.

Mark my words: If I survive turning in my final paper today I WILL drawfag some Papa Aku and Aki to celebrate.
Or at the very least Jack fighting space marines.

>>6829717
Try tomorrow at the same time when this thread started.

There'll might be less faggotry to go through.

So would someone like to summarize what Aku's Giving of Thanks feast consist of?

>>6829069
is that samuraai jack with boobs?