>>6765738
sorry op, was busy fighting aku and demongo as jack in another thread

>>6765762
>That is A-OK. Aku needs to get his ass handed to him. Samurai Jack was awesome.

"You left three inexperienced new Exalted in the hands of creatures that CONSUME SOULS for sustenance?! You didn't think there was some way that they might make use of the power of a Lunar Exalted to further their plans to drop the world into chaos or something?"

I don't like participating in these threads, but I love reading them.

>>6766003
>Could you at least try a bit tonight? These things never take off till 10:30 or so, but I try to get as much done as I can, since I call it quits at about 2:30 or so. I don't like going forward when there is just one response. I feel more happy when I can get a sort of group consensus of wat people want to happen.

>>6765738
"Thank you Horus. I believe you when you say that you'll be leaving this area. Perhaps the Fae were drawn to this place because of you, perhaps not. What matters is that my superiors can be assured that they've left. We'll handle it from here on. There's no reason for your people to stay.

Unless of course..."

>>6765978
>>6766053
"You'll handle it?!" He seems rather incredulous. For all your ass kicking of the previous fight, you are just one Exaltd after all. "How do you expect to get any reinforcements out here? We're in the middle of the gods forsaken desert!"

Response?

>>6765762
Ok i just ate some motherfukin chicken spaghetti, it was AWESOME, now

IIRC we were going to launch operation, save some furrys, wait whut?
Lets call in some blackup, and head out with the other furries by blackup i mean boss back in convention of fire, leader of indepents, and some sidereal deathsquad bros

>>6766080
>Deathsquad? I like the way you think.

>>6766079
"Well, Horus. Did you think I got here by walking?" Then give Horus a hearty slap on the back while giving a subtle troll smile, as only Sidereals can.

>>6766088

I like the way you st exalted for us on the internet, and don't mind me masturbating to other threads while participating in the game

>>6766115
"Actually I got the impression it was your camel that did the walking. What are you planning?" He seems suspicious. You can only suppose it was the troll smile that did it. Oh well...

What now?

>>6766115
sidereals the trolls of exalted
also, if we get a reply on deathsquad bro status, then decide if we should send horus packing, he is prolly late for some orgy anyway

>>6766121
> I could care less to what you're masturbating to, or what else you're doing while this is going on. As long as it isn't furry porn. If it's that, get the fuck out of my thread!

>>6766153
>God damn it. What the fuck did I just say about furry porn?

>>6766153
>>6766162

o.0 precognitive troll?
they're evolving

>>6766143
Confession time. This quest was my first real exposure to Exalted fluff. I was banking on the fact that since we got here directly from Yu Shan, we could directly go back with relatively little hassle. If this isn't true then we're going to look really silly, which I'll take full responsibility for.

>>6766200
We did travel via camel here, though if need be we can teleport anywhere...ever, on creation,
let us know if you need more information
also voting for sidereal deathsquads

>>6766200
>You can always pray to the Pattern Spiders, and make a burnt offering of a note you want them to deliver to another Sidereal. Like a plea for help to Nazri, with coordinates for the backup to meet you at in X days time. Or you can find a way to get the Delzahn Horde to come down and rape the Fey. I haven't exactly planned that much for this session, since it has some really open ended parts.

>>6766223
We walked from Yu Shan straight to the desert by Gate 55, then we found the camel.

>>6766244
Delzhan horde?
Term unknown
Please define

>>6766282
>They're some tribes, north of where the Fey are. The Lunar Tammuz has been priming them to try to overthrow the Realm. They're two decades away from being ready. Mostly they're all "Fuck yeah, Delzahn!" and hate everyone else. I don't think Tammuz would be opposed to helping fellow Lunars, but this is also the least time effective option. It looks like deathsquads are going to win out.

>>6766314
We could try the Pattern Spiders option. We send a message to Nazri requesting a team be sent to where we are. I don't know where exactly would be a good spot to meet. Either where we first arrived or the current fort I guess.

>>6766390
yes, call in deathsquad portal insertion, bring lunars, chat up talmuzz, then get the elves and fight the dark spawn, wait no...just kill the elves

rolled 17 = 17

You know those Exalted 'kinda like that' motivational?

It's not really like that at all in most cases.

>>6766080
>>6766153
>>6766223
>Deathsquad it is.

Requesting whatever ink and parchment that the Lunar's might have you go to the barracks, set up at a dusty and disused officer's desk, and begin writing. They didn't have much as far as writing goods go, insurprisingly, so you keep the message short and sweet. You summarise what happened, describe roughly the location of where the Lunar's think the camp is, and request a squad equipped for battle meet you there in a week's time. You take the time to write this in your finest calligraphy. For whatever reason, the mechanical tenders of the Loom like pretty writing. You pray to the Spiders as you burn the note, hoping it gets to Nazri. You've never heard of a message failing, but it is still a fairly nerve wracking first attempt.

After a few minutes of tense waiting, a small wooden box, identical to the one that appeared to you when you first exalted, appears before you with a folded piece of paper within.

"Message received. Assembling team now. Don't be late."

Actions?

>>6766455
>unsurprisingly*

>>6766455
"Don't be late."
I'll be there...deuchefag,
go to horus
"Hello, I was just curious, how interested are you in hunting down fae? It seems I overstepped myself when I said I could handle it, I'm usually not one to turn down a helping hand, or paw, I'd rather not take all the glory for myself if it can be helped, too much arrogance is bad for the heart."

>>6766455
I guess we should head towards that camp. Announce our intentions though before we leave, in case the Lunars want to tag along. Don't directly ask for help though.

"I've contacted my superiors and they've informed me that a team is being sent. I'll be heading to meet them now. Well, our time together has been quite a pleasure, however short it was. From one traveler to another, I wish you all the best."

>>6766429
This.

>>6766570
>>6766515
...Nazri! That tool! You were the one who set the time and place, of course you aren't going to be late!!

Anyway, composing yourself, you announce your intention to leave and go rescue some kids who got in over their heads from a fate worth than death. Horus seems absolutely amazed by your resolve. "You know, that indomniable spirit of yours would have made you a great Lunar. But what you're attempting is suicide! There must have been two dozen of them, based on what we saw! But...argh! I can't *not* help you either, since this would be a chance to save them that we didn't have before. Look, I can shepard the rest of these students back to the safety of the rest of our kind. Take Passing Shadows and Light of One Thousand Candles with you. They're both experienced and will be a good asset."

Actions?

>>6766662
>Indomnitable* Fuck. I think I should start typing these in Word then copy&pasting them. I hate when a typo gets through.

>>6766570
No, do NOT inform lunars of other sidereals on the way, the fae may already know one is coming, also form connection with horus in a bro kind of way, when we storm the imperial manse we will need all the cannon fodder...i mean dmpcs we can get, i say convince Horus to come along

>>6766685
>Storm the Imperial Manse? Someone has dreams of Emperor-hood. I had imagined this ending with you curbstomping one of the Deathlords or something. That is awesome too.

>>6766711
why rule the dragonblooded from the shadows when we can just...you know rule the dragonblooded?

>>6766662
Is there anything we can give to Horus that would let him get into the fight more quickly once he gets the students somewhere safe?

Otherwise, thank him for the help, and ask Passing Shadows and Light of One Thousand Candles for any specific details on their friends and the Fae that took them as we book it.

>>6766711
Screw that.

What we want to do by the end of this is analyze the history of the Loom of Fate to discover the basic patterns that Creation follows and then actively reshape the Loom to fix shit.

If we make friends with some Alchemicals, we can even get Autocthon's help.

Oh, and maybe we could try sabotaging the Games of Divinity so that the Maidens, Luna, the UCS and all the other gods will stop playing Heavenly WoW and actually get back to doing their fucking jobs.

>>6766662
"Of course, I'd be both happy to accept their help and inconsiderate to decline it, given that your captive students may yet be saved. Perhaps we'll meet again Horus. Fate has done stranger things."

>>6766806
>Oh, and maybe we could try sabotaging the Games of Divinity so that the Maidens, Luna, the UCS and all the other gods will stop playing Heavenly WoW and actually get back to doing their fucking jobs.

all you'd have to do is this and everything else wrong with creation would basically fix itself

noone is going to fuck with the Incarnae

rolled 3, 3, 6, 8 = 20

>>6766759
>Sorry, but he's gone for the time being. They're going to Asherta. Which is where you're going to dump the students once you save them, so this isn't the last of Horus. Also, anyone opposed to my shortening the Lunar's names for when you're talking to them. I'd imagine someone talking to them fairly often wouldn't bother with the ostentatious names.

You mount up swiftly, Passing Shadows and light of One Thousand Candles joining you as you move out. You question them about the exact location of where they suspect the camp to be. Once you have the location in mind, you imagine a point on the map about a mile north of it and invoke the power of the Yellow Path, praying to Mercury for guidance.

>>6766806
and put us hard working sidereals out of a job...i think no...actually, lets investigate this after we become masters of the dragonblooded

>>6766881
No point in bothering with that until Carjack dies, even if we do want to take over for some reason.

rolled 6, 7, 5, 7 = 25

>>6766880
>one success, good enough.

A glimmering yellow aura shines above the sand, leading you onward. Recognising that speed is of the utmost importance you use your anima ability to triple the speed of all landbased locomotion whenever you can spare the essence. You eventually arrive north of what you suspect the Fey camp to be, two days before your appointed randevous.

Feel like doing some recon before backup arrives? Note, the two Lunar don't know you have help on the way. They'll just assume you're being cautious, what with there being only three of you.

By the by, any chance we can social-fu the Fae into giving the Lunars back?

>>6766923

...can we craft a Resplendent Destiny that would trick the Fae into thinking that we're also Fae and then just walk out with the prisoners?

>>6766929
>Socail-fu fae? Um...I didn't plan on it. Given that these are creatures without anything resembling a conscience, I think it would be hard. If you can get creative enough and do some stunts though, I won't stop you.

>a dozen lunars letting themselves be pushed around by a bunch of faggot fairies and elves

wat

The only plan we have is attain staggering amounts of success and recognition in our new profession and then travel the whole of Creation with Elia for eternity.

>>6766956
> No. Destinies are more like...empty spots in reality that fate needs filled. Which the sidereal does wonderfully. But they work because you're human, and even if you are a terrible actor but still act, people just accept it. "Oh, he's just the Captain." So on and so forth.

>>6766973
Well, I mean, we aren't talking about appealing to their non-existent consciences, we're talking about doing something they would consider to be sufficiently awesome that they would give us the Lunars in payment.

And for that matter, we were a traveling merchant, so we could also try using our merchant skills to barter for the freedom of the Lunars.

>>6766985
>Only three Lunars who know what the hell they're doing. Most of them just Exalted.

>>6766985
amusingly a VERY early idea in Exalted (that still made its way into the core book) was that the lunars served the Fae

>>6767013
>If you can think of something to trade that they'd want, go for it. The main problem might be getting in the camp and to the leader without being killed/attacked. After all, to them you're just another food source.

>>6766999
O shiiii, we must find a way to protect our beloved Elia from our Astral Fate is it? the thing that makes people forget, also HI HO SILVER FOR THE FAEFAGS, also ask light and pass what their chief tactics and skills are in battle

>>6766923
Definitely do some recon, no sense going in blind. Today to scout, tomorrow to try to fuck with the Fae, the day after to kill them all and get the Lunars back.

>>6767094
Talk with our fellow Lunars. Come up with a cunning plan. Like, say, have them pretend to be our captives. We "sell" them to the Fae in exchange for their captives. Then they bust out with the help we give them.

Or, theoretically, could we abuse Arcane Fate to sell ourselves to the Fae under the expectation that by tomorrow they won't remember that we exist?

>>6767168
Well, technically not fellow Lunars. The Lunars who we're travelling with. You know what I mean.

>>6767104
Light is the smaller man you remember from earlier. He's a healer. He can fight also as needed. Shadows is what his name implies. He is all about stealth and the swift kill. His spirit animal is the panther, and he emulates that wehenever possible in combat.

>>6767113
The area is approaching the mountains and hills that lie in the south of Delzhan territory. You make camp on the northeastern side of a large rock sticking from the ground, digging a shallow hole into the earth and stretching canvas into a lean-to for shade during the day. Both the Lunars transform into indigenous bird species and go scout the Fey camp.

There are roughly thirty of them in the camp. Many the weak hobgoblins you have seen before, but also a fair number of the deadly elf shaped warriors and spell weavers. The camp is situated against a large rock like yours, which serves as its eastern wall. The camp is mostly haphazard in design, with tents being placed wherever the owner sees fit. The Lunars appear to be kept in a small cave hollowed out of the rock by the spells of the fey.

Thus passes day one. Plans for day two?

>>6767168
That won't work, these handcuffs are too small!
Shut up and put your helmet on it'll work.
Sir, we have one lunar prisoner to take to the detention block.
Oh hey look who the fae caught its the invincible sword princess, we're here to rescue you.
Aren't we a little short for faefags?

>>6767168
>Fey are from outside creation. The Loom of fate doesn't even chart them unless they've been here long enough to get entangled with lots of mortal affairs. So Arcan Fate won't do. Maybe pull a Chewbacca with the Lunars though. Give them fake/easily broken bonds, waltz in with your team as slavers, start the slaughter.

Assuming that the Fae can change their shape, convince one of them to change themselves into an animal. Then we use Ordained Bridle of Mercury on them.

To do this, maybe challenge the leader of this group of Fae to some sort of game involving our Lunar friends. Let the captives turn into some sort of prey animal, he turns into a predator (a lion, for example) and if they can keep from being caught by him for an hour or so they get to go free. Then, as soon as he shifts his form to chase them, Ordained Bridle and he ain't doin' shit unless we tell him to.

Just find some way to phrase the terms of this "game" so that we don't break them when we pull this.

>>6767244
Wait, a small cave? And we have Dreaming of the Wild Lands?

We're excavating an escape tunnel for them. Well, more accurately, we're excavating a new cave right next to the one the Lunars are in, covering the entrance to their cave, and then breaking them out when the Fae think they've escaped and leave to hunt them down.

>>6767297
>You know, I had been planning to have the camp attack you on site. I'm going to change that just to accomodate these ideas everyone is throwing out. At least you'll get a challenge before they jump you.

Regardless of what we do, we should wait for our backup to get here. Depending on what skills or equipment they bring, it could probably make whatever it is we're planning easier.

>>6767350
> I can feel my poor grasp of the sorvery system coming around to bite me in the ass. I never really read them, since none of my planned characters were sorcery uses. FFFFFFFFFF-! Desperately reading up on it in the core book now.

You spend the next day bandying ideas about, resting in the shade, and preparing for whatver tomorrow brings. At dawn of the nest day, you see a trio of horses riding over the horizon to the north, obviously having come from the areas under control of the Delzahn hordes. You are almost curious as to what they were doing on assignment there, but that gets pushed aside for the immediate needs of the mission. Your companions are surprised to see anyone coming into the area, and even more so when you flag them over and they dismount.

Care to explain who these people are to them?

>>6767368
that deathsquad better be on time, and have big swords because we are going after huge evil, also, i vote for wookie jailbreak

By the by, can we use Astrology to boost our chances of not fucking up with the Fae, or does the "Fae are immune to Astrology" thing also apply when the target of the Destiny is technically the Sidereal crafting it?

>>6767461
>Want to make some prayer rolls with your new sidereal backup before you head out? You should be able to put some decent astrology effects. If you know how assisted rolls work, feel free to do that too. I've been looking for them, but no luck as of yet. Or I can roll if you don't know how the astrology rolling works.

>>6767461
YCMV response: Destinies can only be tacked on to beings that exist within fate, and depending on fiat, may or may not work if the being leaves fate. So you could lay a number of ascending destinies on yourself equal to the target (your) essence rating, but there's no guarantee that they would keep working.

>>6767461
>Actually, ignore my previous post. I forgot how long it takes to make astrologies. No time.

>>6767446
Introduce ourselves and learn more about our Sidereal backup.

>>6767495
improving the odds is always good, though I'm not familiar with prayer rolls

>>6767556
>To make an astology, you have to beat 6. You can do all sorts of stuff to make it better, but they take time and resources you don't have in the desert. It's a (Charisma+Perform) roll.

>>6767446
"Business associates."

With more aplomb, dignity and information, but that should be the gist of it.

We're phrasing this in such a way that Shadows and Candles can read between the lines and realize that by "business associates" we mean "our kind of Exalted", but we aren't going to just come out and say that in front of other Siddies unless the other Siddies do it first.

>>6767556
Basically, initiating social combat with gods who are filing paperwork for the shit you're pulling down here.

>>6767580
"Old aquantances, handy in a fight, or just about anything you can think of, Candles, Shadows, meet" insert names here

>>6767580
"We didn't expect any backup. This should make things a bit easier. Not much, given how many of the damned things there are, but a bit."

The trio of Sidereals introduce themselves as Wandering Moon, Chosen of Saturn; Field of Stars, Chosen of Mars; and Whispering Heaven, Chosen of Venus.

Now that you know in general what you're group makeup is, any final planning?

>>6767332
Do this.

But we and maybe two of our buddies (Siddie or Lunar, whichever) take the places of the three captured Lunars.

Then we challenge the strongest Fae to the "turn into an animal and hunt us" game, at which point we use Ordained Bridle on him to put him under our control. I could be wrong about this, but I believe that games and such are Serious Business for the Fae; it's basically the only thing where they won't immediately break the terms of any agreement they made (because games aren't fun if you just take back what you fairly lost; people won't play with you again if you do that).

>>6767642
IIRC games are like crack for fae, and that bridle is a very epic way to control a shapechanged fae. do this

>>6767640
Take the Chosen of Venus and whichever of the Lunars is better at social stuff (probably Candles) to come with us as we go all King Of Games on the Fae's asses.

Have Wandering Moon and Field of Stars stay here and work out a battle plan with Passing Shadows in case our first plan goes pear-shaped.

>>6767642
Forgot to mention: we're using Dreaming of the Wild Lands to hide the cave with the captured Lunars (and dig them out) and then sticking ourselves in their place.

>>6767690
better yet, just get to the lunars, grab them and group teleport via greater sign of mercury the fuck outta there

>>6767662
>>6767660
>>6767642
You know that the simplest way to resolve this, with the least injury to yourself, is to simply find some way to bend the Fey to your will. After a brief discussion about what you might try to manipulate the fey, you stumble upon the answer! Games! The creatures adore them. What you need to do is find some way to get the leader to agree to a shapechanging contest with one of the Lunars. Then, when he enters a form that you can use the Ordained Bridle of Mercury on, enslave him to your will! Bwahahahaha! Muahahahaha!! *coughcough*. Ah, sorry about that. No, I don't know what came over me, thanks Shadow.


So, once we've got him working for us, what do we do? Simply make them hand the Lunars over and then make a binding promise to depart the area?

>>6767705
I'd prefer not to blow PERMANENT Essence and Willpower unless we absolutely have to.

Let's call Greater Sign Plan C, if Plans "Game them into the ground" or "Fuck their shit up with an old-school beatdown" both fail.

>>6767705
This isn't strictly a rescue mission. We have to either convince the Fae to leave/release the prisoners or kill them all.

I second that this guy suggested. >>6767297
The exact wording will be important though and we can get to that when we approach the Fae.

>>6767737
what i would do for an eclipse caste...

>>6767712
Assuming that the Fae will be true to their word and that we can phrase the conditions of the game so that we won't appear too duplicitous...this may be absolutely amazing.

By the way, when it comes to backwards honesty, there are none more suited that Telan, Chosen of Journeys.

>>6767764
>Remember that Solar from part one? Yeah. He'll be back eventually. Same time you get back to Elia

>>6767712
Why not convince them to start a casino or some shit? As long as we've got his captive attention, we can tell them all of the ways in which they can play games forever in Creation without doing shit that gets them killed by Siddie or Solar or Lunar or Immaculate deathsquads.

And, of course, the longer they stay in Creation the more they bind themselves to the Loom of Fate and become a part of it, but they don't need to know that now do they?

Alternatively, we could have him come with us and see if Nazri would like to have a bunch of Fae on retainer.

If these are both obviously stupid, then don't have our character actually voice these ideas.

>>6767780
>Casino is actually a great idea. Some fey manage to live in society peacefully. Thats how you get halfbloods and crap. You might convince these ones to join that illustious circle of chill Fair Folk.

>>6767712
For that matter, what would it take to get the Fae to tag along with us after this? Or are they too inherently evil to be useful?

>>6767780
great ANOTHER freehold... fae are more and more like indians setting up casions in the ass end of nowhere on a protected fae reservation under strict government montoriing... lets just trick the leader ride off kill him then come back and kill the rest

>>6767814
>Nazri will confinscate them faster than you could blink. A group of loyal fair folk, working for heaven? Too useful to leave with just an underling.

>>6767806
Then why don't we do that.

Tell them that in exchange for not letting the Lunars kill them all for the shit they pulled, we want them to start up a casino in the Lunar-held territory and give the Lunars a cut of the profits.

Yes, we're getting Fae to start up an Indian casino in the Southern deserts.

>>6767830
And for that matter, I just realized that a Fae-run casino is likely to be scrupulously honest, because they don't give a shit about the money except as a method of keeping score; making the games more fun is the real point, and you do that by leaving everything up to chance instead of rigging it.

We should play this one by ear. We'll approach the Fae peacefully but with every intention to fight if it comes to that. We'll propose a game, with conditions worded so that our Ordained Bridle will be useful. Then, depending on how well everything has worked out to this point, we'll release the prisoners and then decide what to do with the Fae.

>>6767875
So, when do we get to ride a fae elf fag in a totally non sexual non homo way while he is wearing his imaginary fur suit... in a game of chase with real furries O GOD WHO THOUGHT OF THIS

>>6767917
The scariest part is that we're doing exactly that, only somehow it's Awesome.

>Okay, since tricking the leader is the agreed upon most popular plan, I'm going to start writing that. What happens after you've got control is still up for debate.

The fey camp was utterly surprised when a group of six humans walked up to the edge of camp and demanded to see their leader. What was more surprising was the offer they made.

"We want those three Lunars you're holding captive. We want to play a little game with you to try and win them back. Interested?"

Well, of course he was interested. But before he agreed, he needed to know the terms.

"Simple.This man here is name Passing Shadows, and is a Lunar as well. The two of you are going to play a shapeshifting game. He'll take a form, and then you try to match it. The first one to run out of shapes loses. If we win, you give us the prisoners and leave this area forever. If we win...we'll become your prisoners as well. Agreed?"

The fey spellweaver was almost beside himself with joy. To his mind, there was no way to lose. Too bad the only outside interference he forbode was a violent attack on either party, or spells to help one endure longer. So, he and Passing Shadows played. Hawk, panther, cobra, newt, halibut. All these and more flashed by. But then Shadow became a horse. And so did the elf. Which, of course, is when you made your move. The bridle was over his head before he even realized what happened.

Congrats, you've enslaved a fey! What are you going to do now? inb4 Go to Disneyworld.

>>6767940
>oops. Got the order of winners/losers mixed up in the dialog up there. It was if we win on both. It should be if YOU win, the second time.

I'm voting for the "have them do community service" option, in the sense that a spiffy new casino and tourist attraction would be of great service to the community.

And would incidentally provide us with contacts, and a place to quietly conduct our own business, and could provide us with a bit of working capital while in Creation.

>>6767940
By enslaving the leader we have control over the entire tribe right? What happens if we take the bridle off?

>>6768000
And we shall call it Las Faegas.

>>6767940
halibut, passing shadows has a HALIBUT FORM, WHERE THE HELL DID HE FIND A HALIBUT TO EAT OF ITS HEARTBLOOD
prolly in the north...god damn, stalking a fish...

anyway so, have shadows change one more time, since fae leader is in bridle and can't change, we win

>>6768000
>More money than you could get out of converting your magic Heaven Money with essence into Jade? Maybe. But there are rules to keep siddies from abusing their position and becoming uber-rich in creation. No maintaining private armies/navies, or buying up whole states.

>>6768027
Well, we aren't looking for a lot of money. More, "enough money so that we can save our Quintessance and Ambrosia salary for Heaven stuff and extraordinary real world purchases".

Figure like Resources 2 or low Resources 3 worth of money being generated on our behalf in Creation. Enough that we don't have to stick Heaven with the tab for a comfortable but unspectacular mundane lifestyle.

>>6768011
The bridle's magic exists permanently. He's a familiar now.

>>6768027
no rule against buying portions of many states and having public armies, for the people by the people fuck year switzland

also lets grab the lunars and gtfo, we won right? or are we gonna kill the rest of them?

>>6767940
This stopped the camp in its tracks. Shadows changed one last time, while you kept the leader in one shape, thereby winning on a tachnicality. When you allow him to change back, he glares at you with smoldering resentment. Well, fuck him. That's what he gets for trying to eat the souls of some poor new Lunars.

Your backup runs off to the cave where the Lunars were being held, while the two Lunars with you stay and you discuss the fate of the fey. You get an idea in your head, one that would allow them to continue living, and net you and the Lunars some serious benefits. You lean in close to the leader. "So, you like games? Have I got an idea for you! With this one you might even get to live!"

This piques his interest of course, and he listens peacefully. In fact, the idea of a casino heavily appeals to him. All you demand out of it is 10% of the profits for your personal use while in creation, and that it serve as a haven for Lunars fleeing the Immaculate Order. No biggie for him, right?

The other sidereals arrive with the greatly weakened captives a few moments after you seal the deal with the fey. The Joybringer did her best to patch them up, but they were still weak looking and dazed. One looked to be slightly older than the others, and had the appearence of a military man even as he struggled to stay on his feet. The other two were a boy and a girl, both of them barely of eighteen winters if you were any judge.

Plans from here?

So, consensus is that we're going with the "have the Fae build a casino for fun and profit" route? Or are we doing something else?

I will say that just killing them without trying to find a use for them first would be a serious waste.

>>6768210
Well, what is there to do besides just heading back to Asherta with the freed Lunars? And our new Fae buddies, I guess; the deal we cut with them presumably will work better if the Lunars know about it.

>>6768210
Use "Quest-Hook Detecting Prana" to find out what our options are for "stuff to do".

>>6768224
Well i'm surprised the fae didn't try and get more freedom, but if he's gonna be amendable to a casino/refuge/cashcow go for it, hell set it up in gem or cirascuro...err maybe a little further south or alot

>>6768313
We want this place to have a chance of actually a) getting business and b) surviving. The first probably rules out Chiarascuro, the second definitely rules out Gem.

>>6768210
So now both the Lunars and the Fae are leaving the area. The Fae will now be kicking a certain portion of their profits to us and the Lunars are in our debt. All in all, a very profitable exchange for us.

There's no reason to stay here now that our job's done. We should say goodbye to the Lunars and head back to Yu Shan.

>>6768287
Your group prepares for the harsh journey through desert, mountains, and savannah to Asherta. It is nearly 500 miles, a full month's journey on camel. Luckily for you the fey are able to share their supplies with your group. The trio of sidereals, not having any assignments at the moment, choose to accompany you. After taking a few days for the weakened Lunar to recover, you and the fey break camp on the same day. They've got plenty of wealth leftover from past raids, and are beginning the two thousand mile desert trek to Gem. The journey is long and tough, as Whispering Heaven was so fond of reminding everyone of. At all times. Gods, why wouldn't she SHUT UP?!

That agony aside, you arrive at Asherta a week earlier than planned, thanks to your Yellow Path charm. Shadows and Light break off, taking the younger Exalted with them to meet at whatever safe house that is set up by the Silver Pact in the city. You're invited along, as a proven friend of the Lunars, while your newer and untested companions are politely turned down.

Do you ditch them and go to see the Lunars?

>>6768379
Well, sort of to Yu Shan. I believe that we're still posted to the Convention of Fire, so we'll want to head back to Nazri to tell him that we got the job done and get our next assignment.

But we're going to at least see the Lunars we just rescued to Asherta and meet back up with Horus and crew.

>>6768407
FUCK YES let's get ourselves some Silver faction influence.

Fuck Gold and Bronze.

>>6768407
Yes. Be polite about it; I'm sure they can understand this sort of situation, and we'll presumably be meeting up with them again when we leave.

>>6768407
We accept the invitation of the Lunars, with as much polite deference to our Sidereal compatriots as possible. Assure them that it won't be too long before we report back to HQ. Just some last minute details to tie up.

>>6768460
Indeed. Of course, we may be leavening our Silver with some alchemical Steel later.

>>6768407
absolutely, then once we get back to yu shan we go grab some dinner with Wandering Moon, Field of Stars,Whispering Heaven, and Red, also we need to find out red's real name, and come up with an appropriately sidereally name for ourselves since our first mission was not a fuck up but in truth a total success

>>6768461
>>6768467
They nod. They decide to head off back to Chiarascuro on their own, since there are always missions to be done. They bid you a polite farewell, and depart.

The group of Lunar lead you through the city. Asherta is a city built for one purpose, that purpose being war. It has many of the finest military academies in the south and some truly lovely soaring architecture. They seem rather fond of their pyramids and eye motifs as well. The industrial part of war, the great forges, create a complex part of the city. A place easy to get lost in. It is in this twisting maze of ashy streets and cheap inns that you are eventually brought to a seemingly abandoned inn. The entire group enters, and you pass into a world of fine panelling and gas lighting. The interior is not nearly so decrepit asthe exterior.

"Telan, you crazy bugger! I can't believe you actually pulled it off!" It looks like Horus came down to greet everyone.

Response?

>>6768487
Or we can keep our birth name and not look like pretentious asshats?

Note that all of the really important Sidereals still have actual names instead of poetry fragments: Nazri, Ayesha, even good 'ol Carjack.

>>6768527
Right, but in the setting, it's normal to be referred to by a combination of your given Family and surname, and your self-chosen style name.

>>6768527
>I'm still trying to think of a way to include carjack, even if for just a short bit. It is too good of a roleplaying oppurtunity to pass up. Probably if you ever get wrapped up in the factional spy games going on down here in the South.

>>6768526
Say something appropriately witty in response. We are after all, one of Mercury's Chosen. The Harbingers. In our case, the Harbinger of Awesome.

>>6768526
"Crazy...no, well prepared, and devilishly clever most certainly, and it wouldn't have been possible with out Passing Shadow's help out shape shifted a fae. Speaking of them in case you haven't heard we opted for a more diplomatic resolution, they are going to setup a casino, which will double as a safe house for any lunar in need of shelter, provided you don't kill them. All in all I think every party benefits from this, you get a safe house, and those faefags get to keep their shape."

>>6768581
"You... managed to make them give up. And then ordered them to open a casino? ...I...I don't know how to react to this actually. I suppose a safehouse is good, but...fey running a casino? Are you positive that was wise?"

>>6768547
Since we don't actually have a last name, that's where we'll put our style name.

>>6768552
Well, we're eventually likely to end up on the Blessed Isle somehow, so we'll probably be seeing plenty of Ketchup there.

Hell, maybe he'll come take a quick look at us after word of this stunt gets back, especially if Red starts talking us up at Bronze Faction coffee hours. Obviously not something under our control, though, and somehow I don't see us as ever being Bronze Faction material.

>>6768607
>You actually remembered your sifu's faction! wow, I figured everyone skipped my tl;dr wall-o-text. I feel marginally better about it now.

>>6768605
"Given that they only care about the games, and think of money as just another method of keeping score, it might be the most honest casino this side of Lookshy."

Also, depending on just how much cash 10% of the proceeds ends up being, we can always cut the Lunars in on a bit of it.

>>6768629
>I'm going to say you have 3 resource dots. Thirty fae can run a decently sized casino.

>>6768622
Well, we have to remember that so that we can put some time towards converting her to the Indep way later, otherwise known as the "Stop fucking around and do your godsdamned jobs!" Faction.

>>6768647

Silver faction. Thousand streams river. do eeet.

>>6768605
"Think about it, it's all a game to them, they will play it straight and too the level, and their sole objective will be to make the best damn casino in creation, maybe further down the line it could attract attention...though thats a hurdle we will cross when we get to it, also it gives US potential to get the workings of a fae alliance going. Those DB are a thorn in your side, wouldn't it be nice to stick one back in the DB? I'm not saying there aren't risks involved, its just think of the benefits to you and your people, why risk more lives than necessary?" (i realize thats a logical fallicy since lunars will just have a new exaltation a month later if one dies...)

>>6768629
"Well, I suppose that works out well enough. I guess we'll start spreading the word to the rest of the Pact about this. Although it probably won't be open for many months at least, given how far they must travel. But come! Come! One of my superiors is here now, I'm sure he'd love to meet the man who performed such a surprising rescue. Just come along this way..." Horus ushers you along a side corridor and into a what looks like a very plush lounge in the style of the south. A large and powerfully built man is reclining on some comfy looking silk cushions and appears to be sipping at coffee, judging by the smell.

Do you greet him or wait to be addressed?

>>6768644
Well, unless that's already being accounted for, figure we throw in a little bit of that money for the benefit of the Lunars using the safehouse.

>>6768677
Greet him, but with some form of pleasantries. Compliment him on the coffee, for example, or something similar. Don't get down to business until he makes it clear that he's ready to.

>>6768677
WAIT, motherfuckers. Dude probably remembers our kind performing genocide on his bro/lover.

>>6768698
Samefag here. Figure we're using our Trader's Diplomatic Acumen to behave with appropriate etiquette for the situation.

>>6768699
correct, WAIT to be addressed, we don't want to put the ball in his court, we need to let him make the first move

>>6768699
>>6768722
He speaks, addressing Horus. His voice is like a low rumble. Damn the man is intimidating. "So, Horus. Who have you brought here in such a rush?"

"Well, Tammuz, you remember that one crazy kid who we met up with that I told you about? The one who lit himself and something like five fair folk warriors on fire, and stabbed another four? Then went off on a suicide mission to recover those captured initiates? This is him. And just wait until you hear how he did it..." And so Horus related your story to Tammuz, one of the most powerful Lunar exalted alive and one of the greatest philosohical minds in the world. You are suitably intimidated.

After the story is finished, Tammuz turns to address you. "Well now, that all sounds rather impressive for someone new to this sort of thing. But you've been quiet this whole time. What do you have to say on the matter, Seer?"

>>6768757
"I simply did my best to PROTECT creation, to the best of my abilities."

Lunars are big on protecting, stewardships, and can detect charm use. Let's play it cool until he uses a charm first.

>>6768778
"Yes, that is what your kind always say. But enough of that, I suppose. None of that was your doing I suppose." He sips his drink. "And why are you still standing? We've plenty of cushions. Sit! Have some coffee! You've earned at least that much of a break before your duties call you back."

You sit and get yourself some of the oh so dark brew coffee. Luckily, tons of sugar is the norm in this part of the world.

So, you're having a pleasant cup of coffee with one of the oldest Exalted alive. What do you want to talk about?

>>6768757
"First, I would like to thank you for your hospitality and your humbling display of trust for allowing me to step in your inner sanctum. It's an honor that I do not take lightly I assure you.

Now, I'm afraid there's little for me to say that Horus has not already said so himself. Fate was kind enough to cross our paths at a time when we could greatly benefit from mutual assistance. "

>>6768778
"While the outcome was certainly diplomatic, the real reason I headed up this mission was out of respect, how can we who are so few, neglect each other so. We are like brothers and sisters, and I don't know about you, but I'd never leave family at the hands of those sadistic bastards, sure we have our differences of opinion on many things. Theres no reason we should hate each other or wish ill fate, if we don't hang together, we will surely hang seperately."

>>6768757
Reflect for a moment, then answer: "Surprisingly little, honored one. Dealing with the abnormal Essence use in the area was my task, working to protect and strengthen the fabric of Creation was my duty, rescuing your folk was my moral obligation, and fighting alongside your brethren was my privilege. I needed no reasons and had no motives other than those."

>>6768828
...everything?

I mean, seriously, we're sitting down for a cuppa and conversation with one of the most powerful NPCs in the setting, I honestly have no idea what the fuck to say.

>>6768848
"Wow. You must have all sorts of enemies back up in Yu-Shan. Kejak has slipped up so far to actually allow that much of a dissident sentiment to develop? Most of your masters try to indoctrinate their students during training one way or another. You are an intriguing rarity."

>>6768900
"Not as much as you may expect, sir. With the return of the... Lawgivers, the Bronze faction has lost much ground to the Gold, or our affiliation, the Independant; Also known as the 'does their job without factional bullshit' group."

>>6768892
>the general idea is to give you a chance to get the man impressed with you, and thus get Lunars on the whole to like you more. Think of the Allies dots man, think of the dots!

>>6768900
"I thank you for the compliment, sir, but I have some doubts as to whether my sentiments are quite so rare as all of that. Given the current circumstances of Creation, I feel that the factional disputes are increasingly detracting from our ability to do the tasks that our Exaltations were created for, and it would not at all surprise me if others were beginning to draw the same conclusions. The Usurpation was undoubtedly a tragedy, but the endless fighting over whether it was a necessary evil or an unnecessary genocide is frankly ludicrous when it is given more attention than the fact that Creation seems to being coming apart around us day by day."

>>6768950
"Ah yes. Nazri has always been a thorn in the side of the others. I rather like his sense of duty though. I'm glad to hear that the Bronze faction has been weakening. I've only had intermittent contact with the Viziers since the Usurpation, unsurprisingly, and it almost seems as though Kejak has developed something of a cult of personality. Ayesha as well, but I'm less inclined to judge her for obvious reasons."

>>6768970
By the by, I'm talking about the Sidereal factional disputes, not the fact that the Celestial Exalted and Terrestrial Exalted are at each other's throats. Although the latter should probably be in the background of what we're saying.

>>6768970
"I'm extremely glad to hear those words from you, Seer. At times it seems almost that your people have been blinded to the threat ohat the Abyssals and the Infernals pose to this world. As my men tell me, the Great Sea is rife with their cults and dominions, but the Viziers have barely done anything to stop it. I hope that this can lead to a change in policy in that segment of Creation."

>>6768984
"An interesting woman. Remembered herself, and her past experience, and escaped to lead the opposing faction. But she seems too interested in her pet project, and not interested enough in protecting creation from fateless essence-abberants, by any means that are effective.

>>6768989
"If I may be so bold, what do you think of the idea of those fairfolk running their casino? It's a safe house and, it has...other benefits, though I'm intrigued do you know what happens when a fairfolk stays entwined in reality for an extened period of time?"

>>6768984
"Well, Kejak is a figure that one can't help but respect, even if you find his conclusions wrong or offensive. Everything he does, he does for the sake of Creation; the tragedy is how that very sense of duty lies at the core of his most abominable deeds, and his inability to recognize how he has failed. After all, were he ever to admit that in attempting to save Creation he may have doomed it, it would break him."

Guys, why are talking politics with Lunar like he's a Sidereal? Come to think of it, why are we talking politics like we're some kind of expert on the matter?

>>6769029
"I think they'll do fine, as long as they manage to avoid preying on the souls and emotions of their own patrons. The safehouse and resource factor will be of definate use though. "

>>6769023
"Interesting, yes. I agree as well. She is far to absorbed in her work to see the big picture. Of course, I'm not one to talk. All of my time it seems is spent trying to further improve myown pet projects!"

>>6769051
>Because we are mostly. We may not be as good at maneuvering politically, but we know all sorts of stuff. And Tammuz is a pretty shrewed leader. He knows a lot, and is rather wise.

>>6769020
Does Tammuz know about the limitations of our Siddie fatecrafting stuff, in that none of it up to the Loom of Fate itself can recognize Infernals and Abyssals? If not, that knowledge might at least help a little as far as giving him a realistic assessment of how much more we can do on our own.

>>6769079
>He knows what we are and what we do, which includes the factions. He doesn't know the exact job details because he isn't a sidereal.

>>6769067
OP are sidereals aware of the fact of the exaltation split 150 solars 150 abyssal/infernal?

>>6769072
All I'm saying is, it's good to have allies that come with no baggage. We've already presented ourselves as a friend of the Lunars and one who has been helpful for no reason other than it was the classy thing to do. But now, we're speaking with a non-Sidereal on the shortcomings of Sidereals. We're not plotting some kind of bureaucratic revolution here. To reiterate, we were a merchant in our former life and we should recognize the value of neutrality in all things beyond ourselves.

>>6769106
> I think so.

>>6769106
YCMV: The sids are not aware of the particulars. They know that some amount of solar shards have been captured. They know that Abyssals and Infernals are corrupted solars. That's about it.

>>6769097
Hmm. Obviously we aren't telling him everything, because that would be kind of treason and because we don't know everything anyway, but I think that knowing that we Siddies could use assistance on the "things from outside Creation" front would be useful.

I mean, thinking on it, that's traditionally what the Lunars did. The Lunars defended Creation from threats from beyond, and the Siddies made sure that the fabric of Creation was still in one piece afterwards.

And our lack of resources doesn't help. At any given time there's only about 90 Siddies actually incarnated, and most of them are either on the Blessed Isle or in Yu-Shan. Especially now that the Realm is coming apart at the seams. Too many things going wrong at once, and not enough Siddies to fix them all, even before you factor in the factional bullshit distracting Siddies and their resources from the real threats.

>>6769097
"Though we usually most everything that goes on in creation, I'm curious what transpirings are you aware of in the south here, what is it that is currently most concerning in the south, and the west apart from the deathlords obviously...I'm just trying to get a lunar perspective on things so I can approach problems at a new angle..."

>>6769113
>Good point. I guess I'll stop here, since this will be an easy enough scene to start at the end of next time. Just after having a pleasant chat with Tammuz, you go on your way with the gratitude of the Lunars. And a new dot for Allies. Alright, experience for todays session is going to be 33 points. it would have been 6, but you get 5 story points for doing the story arc. Then 11x6. Suggestions on what to spend it on?

>>6769164
>11x3*

>>6769113
We have the ear of one of the most powerful beings in all of Creation. We're playing as a good dude who's going the Indep route (at least for now) in the Sidereals, and we want to have a world that isn't coming apart at the seams so that we can spend some quality time with the waifu.

I think this is one of those cases where telling somebody vastly more important and powerful than ourselves what in the fuck is actually going on is a good idea, since it puts them in a better position to fix things.

>>6769164
essence, sidereal larceny, HIJACKING SOMEONE'S THOUGHT TRAIN IS EPIC social-fu more stamina also wouldn't hurt kind of like the terminator you know, except, the friendly talks to you while you beat the...attempt to beat the shit out of him

>>6769164
More Craft(Fate) would be useful. Getting Firetongue as well, since we're working in the South right now. More Charms and SMA would be delicious. And maybe another dot in Perception.

>>6769187
Fine, it's just a friendly chat after all.

>>6769205
also maybe bump one of our virtues

>>6769205
>Kay. I think I'll leave essence, since you're at 4 now. Social stuff is good. I think I'll bump MA up one as well, so you can start learning the cool SMAs next time you see your sifu. Then with one of the Prismatic Arrangement of Creaton charms, we can start making Destinies that are indistinguishable from DB. Best cover ever. Also, we're going to have to get rid of armor to do the martial arts, so is silksteel armor clothing good to be awarded later on once we get some of those?

>>6769205
we'd be sitting on 5 dots essence if we can bump it, then focus on some PDS, percep WP,, and combos biotch

>>6769229
>New languages are one linguistics dot? Or is that different? I never really paid attention to the skill or that aspect of the game, since I didn't really care that much.

>>6769269
>Of course combos. We need some offensive or defensive charms to do that though.

>>6769269
hey OP combos, what combos can we get at 4 dots, i don't know anything about sidereal charm trees so i leave it in your hands, but shouting something like "MINDFUKING BARRAGE PRANA" always gets me in the sidereal mood ya know, feels good man

>>6769164

Uh, can we retroactively not-learn second or fateful MA excellencies and learn first? fateful is cool and all, but not combo-ok, which, uh.

Essence Thorn Practice could be fun.

Lore and Investigation Charms would also be nice, as would some of the Socialize stuff.

>>6769294
Well, unless we want some combo that warps nature in our favor, we haven't got too much that is good for that now. As soon as we start delving into the SMA charms that can change. Also, learning one of the Terrestrial styles to fit with the DB Destiny cover. Once we can emulate the anima banner of a Terrestrial Exalt, and know one of the martial arts, it will be a simple matter to make a Gull or Ship's Wheel destiny type and start wearing robes of the Immaculate Order.

>>6769308
We can ditch second if you want. Nobody ever remembers we have them anyway...

>>6769315
>SUPERGREEN LAWN GROWTH AND PROTECTION PRANA

>>6769310
I'm thining of delving into the Social charms actually, before we learn any new MAs, since your sifu won't be back for another quest or two. By 8 I promise she'll be back though.

>>6769337
Given our actual positions on the other Exalted, our pretending to be in the Immaculate Order would be fucking hilarious.

>>6769337
this has promise, what SMA charms are we looking at, what style?

>>6769360
Have one for going about in Realm friendly places, use our current traveller Destiny for everywhere else. Its good to have multiple covers as needed.

>>6769347
Yeah, it did always seem to me that the real point of Excellencies was to let you get real Charms, and then to combo them with other stuff.

>>6769359
hunh, what is >>6769205
referring to with the stealing of someone's train of thought, sidereal larceny?

>>6769366
Oh, I know. I just get the impression that our Siddie is going to be laughing himself sick on the inside when he pretends to be one of the "WHARRGARBL ANATHEMA SMASH BLARGH" crowd.

>>6769364
Prismatic arrangement of creation is pretty awesome. I'm thinking that, get the anima imitation charm, and learn a terrestrial martial art that works well with that type. I'm partial to Air and Water myself. Air is a pretty hax anima. When its going, you can fall almost any height and not get damaged.

>>6769373
One of the Siddie Larceny charms lets you derail somebody's train of thought.

>>6768014
holy fuck, las faegas i guess i'm kinda late in getting here but damn if they make a casino those fae are obligated to name it that

>>6769376
trolling the whole god damn blessed isle, i think Mr. Telan would find that amusing, I'm curious what ol' Iron would think of that and his 2 kiddos

>>6769380
I'm trying to keep the charms in areas we're already good. Larceny isn't one of them. That might be useful for more than just thievery though.

>>6769398
You know, Iron was the jackass dude. His only relation in that group was the girl, his sister. I've not gotten to give backtory on the Solar yet. And you'll be seeing them soon enough. Maybe even next time, depending on which mission you choose next time. I don't know when the next Exalted Quest will be though. Maybe tomorrow, if a game I'm in falls through. If not, probably Sunday or Monday.

>>6769408
So we have finally come to the conclusion that you aren't a drag...queen...of spades...in the trenches...WTF AM I THINKING OF :o who are you again?

>>6769408
Actually, aren't the Linguistics Charms also pretty nice?

>>6769430
I have yet to look at them. I'll give them a glance over at lunch tomorrow. Or right now, since I'm still up. Did anyone archive this, by the way?

>>6769426
but he owes us a drink still, AND GOD DAMN WE'LL GET PAID BACK IF ITS THE LAST THING WE DO

>>6769447
So unconcerned about why they're in the south? And what has happened to them in the last five years? And if you're wife to be remembers you?

>>6769457
We never actually proposed. The universe decided to inconvenience us with our exaltation.

Looks like we're on the heartbreak railroad. OP, I hope you understand that we will break the universe all over again if that's what it'll take to conquer Arcane Fate.

>>6769457
A bit, but then that's mainly because I figured we wouldn't be running into them again until we finish the Southern arc and move on to the Western one.

Unless this is just a "so you don't forget they exist" sort of thing and we'll be spending far more time on them when we eventually head to the West. I mean, after we meet up with the Alchemicals, have our first encounter with some deathknights, and see Gem explode for no adequately explored reason, we may as well follow up on Tammuz's hints on shit going down in the Westlands.

>>6769508
Unless we Paradox ourselves into a Pattern Spider Bite and OP rolls a 10.

At which point Creation shall not suffice to contain our RAGE.

>>6769529
lets avoid that, it happened in our first sidereal game...to everyone

>>6769513
Actually, the adventure with them was going to be your first Deathknight adventure. You're going to have some fun with the First and Forsaken Lion.

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>>6769546
Refresh my memory. What is a 10 on the chart? I only distinctly remember this gay one that blocks essence recovery for a month.

>>6769575
Pattern spider bites you...you are oblitereated from all existence, no memories no soul, the exaltation is cleansed of your soul's imprint, its like you never were,
so the most badass and epic sidereals who tested fate themselves are not even remembered though their contributions still remain, just it seems someone else lead to it

also Prismatic Aura, get it, shits cash, you can be any exalted you want, though you'll need fake moonsilver tattoos if you wanna pull of lunar unless you're one of those casteless insane ones...then lunars will probably rape you and tattoo you against your will
also we needed to get our bonus die against tammuz, fine company is an intimacy, also we should get bonus die to any investigations into Red's real name

>>6769551

Falafel? Well, that should be exciting. I personally agree with the Bodhisattva and find the Lover Clad in the Raiment of Tears to be the scariest of the canon Deathlords, because she's the only one who isn't her own worst enemy.

>>6769575
It's the one where the consequence is "an Essence 1 mortal the character loves dies horribly". It's even called Dead Wife Venom.

>>6769680
One of the many reasons to get anyone you think you might like upgraded to an essence user.

>>6769680
Woke up. Surprided this is still up. Yeah, lets not accrue paradox then. And don't worry, the Lion is mostly there in the background of what I was thinking of. Eventually you'll be going out west, and then it'll be the Bodhivista to worry about. The man's got a plan. And that plan is a fleet of invincible warships. Are you a bad enough dude to take on the Silver Prince?

>>6772419

Also, the man may or may not be Desus, the Ultimate Dick of Dicks.

>>6772516
Really now? That sounds fun. Maybe I can include that canon Lunar woman who was his wife. She'd love to help kill the dude again.

>>6772516
Ultimate dick you say? I think not...