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  • File : 1258424562.jpg-(65 KB, 703x576, wizardlollipop.jpg)
    65 KB Things you're not allow to do in a RPG Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:22 No.6737088  
    ITT: thinks you're never allowed to do in a RPG again.

    I'm never again allowed to find as many overly flamboyant Gnome Bards and make a Guild called the Lollipops.

    I'm never allow to ask the paladin if it's Night Time before every combat encounter.

    I'm not allowed to make a Necropolitain Bard and name him Jack.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:26 No.6737135
    I'm no longer allowed to play any form of Chaotic Alignment.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:27 No.6737156
    I'm not allowed to quote lines from Castlevania.

    I'm not allowed to use the word "Pokemon" anywhere in my character description.

    I'm not allowed to set anything on fire. It never works out in the end.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:27 No.6737162
    Dalamar's Lightning Lance has been banned from any game our group plays, even dragonlance ones.
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 11/16/09(Mon)21:29 No.6737179
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:30 No.6737188
    I'm not allowed to make a character who is omnilingual by level 3.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:30 No.6737193
    I'm never allowed to hoard random NPC's into useful characters anymore.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:30 No.6737197
    I'm not allowed the use of Prestidigitation. EVER.

    I'm not allowed to make a character that is mechanically designed to use other party members as weapons. nor am I allowed to take Weapon Focus: (Rogue)
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:31 No.6737211

    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:31 No.6737216
    I'm not allowed to make a Hutt Jedi :(
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:32 No.6737220
    I'm not allowed near grenades.

    I'm not allowed to NOT kick doors in Arbites boots.

    I'm not allowed to talk about Fight Club.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:32 No.6737221
    hahahaha. I don't know what I laughed as hard as I did.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:33 No.6737237
    You just broke rule one of fight club...don't talk about fight club. Fuck. I just broke the first rule of fight club.
    >> G. D. 11/16/09(Mon)21:33 No.6737239
    I've been banned from having any character with "Leadership" and from having female cohorts.

    . . .

    AH! Had you going there for a second, right?
    But no, seriously... I'm not allowed to make grapplers anymore, and I can never have an Xth-Level character with more than a +X skill mod in Use Rope (so any 12th-Level character I make can't have more than a +12 skill mod with Use Rope).
    If you were ever in my group, you'd know why.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:33 No.6737243
    I'm not allowed to make a demolitions expert. I'm also not allowed to name my monk Kenshiro.
    >> Sage Hoge !!patTjmrymPW 11/16/09(Mon)21:34 No.6737248
    I'm no longer to allowed to use the following names in one piece game.

    Bridge S. Todd
    Dad D Big
    Dan D Dan
    Jerkin D. Monkey
    Beatin D. Monkey
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:34 No.6737250
    I'm not allowed to play LN and tell everyone "I'm just following orders".

    I'm not allowed to stab the bard to death in his sleep.

    I'm not allowed to push the fighter down corridors because I don't feel like searching for traps.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:34 No.6737261
    I am not allowed to rename any Monk power "Fist of the North Star."
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:35 No.6737269
    I am no longer allowed to make elf artificiers with Elf Diliniate (or however it's spelled).
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:36 No.6737286

    Name him Jotaro instead.


    Name it Star Platinum instead.
    >> G. D. 11/16/09(Mon)21:37 No.6737293
    My DM won't let me do that at the table anymore.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:38 No.6737313
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:38 No.6737318
    I'm not allowed to try and forge documentation with my illiterate Barbarian.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:39 No.6737320
    No longer allowed to use meteoric iron collected from a star that fell in the north to build a magical mech named Fist of the North Star.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:40 No.6737339
    I'm not allowed to put kick me signs on the Barbarian.

    I'm also not allowed to speak exclusively in my non-Common language.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:40 No.6737340
    I'm not allowed to name any character "Captain Killfuck."
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:42 No.6737367
    I am no longer allowed to make characters whose own view of (the fantasy) reality is significantly different from objective view of reality.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:43 No.6737376
    I'm not allowed to call my Magic Missile "Silver Dildo Surprise."
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:43 No.6737387
    I am no longer allowed to make a backpack chair and ride the half-orc into battle.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:47 No.6737433
    I am not aloud to have 4th dementional inventory space

    a am not aloud to multiclass every level

    im especially not aloud to take master inquisitive levels

    i am not aloud to fake my death for a cheap divorce

    i am not aloud to toss kobolds for recreation
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:48 No.6737456
    I am no longer allowed to decide which way we go by consulting "the BONES!" with my barbarian.
    >> G. D. 11/16/09(Mon)21:51 No.6737488
    I'm no longer allowed to roll piercing lethal damage when I have sex with a(n) N/DM/PC with a Monk with the Versatile Unarmed Strike feat.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:52 No.6737510
    Play neutral evil or chaotic evil in 3.5 D&D, or any evil alignment in 4e.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:52 No.6737512

    Do... Do they speak to you, too?
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:55 No.6737555
    I'm not allowed to make a bard. PERIOD.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:56 No.6737567
    In 4e I can't get bard multiclass feats for my Paladin and make him a servant to the gods of rock.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:56 No.6737574
    Only when I cast them and seek their knowledge.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:57 No.6737588
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    I'm no longer allowed to come up with a custom mount for my Paladin.
    >> Abaddon 11/16/09(Mon)21:57 No.6737592
    I'm never aloud to play a mute character again on pain of blinding

    I'm never to play a blind character again on pain of hearing loss

    I'm never to play a deaf character again on pain of tongue removal

    I'm never hold more than one magic item at a time upon pain to my crotch

    I'm never to change my gender during play through any means by pain of being ignored
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)21:58 No.6737601
    My character is not allowed to get a tattoo that says "I pushed a boulder and it squished a goblin by accident."
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:00 No.6737622
    I am not allowed to have a dog mount names Barkimus Prime.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:01 No.6737631
    I'm not allowed to make a superhero with Insect Control who uses his power to spew fire ants out of his dick as his primary form of attack.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:02 No.6737648
    I'm never allowed to play an Artificer ever again

    I'm never allowed to use Craft (Alchemy) or any Alchemy Item that uses fire. Fire always works too well.

    I'm no longer allowed to play a combination of A muskateer and Vinny from Disney's Atlantis.

    I'm no longer able to own any vehicle large enough to fit more than 2 Medium sized creatures
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:03 No.6737661
    I am no longer entitled to buy 100 chickens, 20 minstrels, and 50 messengers, assorted donkeys, a barrel of rum, a wagon(holds the chickens), the list goes on and on...

    Well what did you buy with your gold from the last adventure? A Master crafted sword? Phhhssshhh I'm rich bitch!
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:04 No.6737663
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    /tg/ you never cease to amaze me.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:05 No.6737672
    I'm not allowed to spend my entire funds on daggers. Especially if I didn't buy anything to put them in.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:07 No.6737709
    I'm not allowed to kick in doors.
    (Happened to every DH game and WoD game so far.)
    Shoot at people before we knew the situation.
    (DH and WoD again.)

    Make Insane Werewolf Lord and rule a Gods Cursed Land of Madness.
    (DnD and Epic DnD.)

    Plant Explosives all over the ship and key it to my guys micro-bead. Even though it freaking worked and took out a bunch of fucking chaos mutineers. The team had already came up with a plan, soldiers and gear in order to retake the ship. And I told them I could solve it in a few words. I told the GM I opened up my Micro-Bead and gave the code Word 'Firebreak'. The GM then announced there was a huge flare of energy in orbit. The rest of the players were at first shocked then pissed at what I had been doing for five sessions with a fuckton of best quality plasma charges. They made me NEVER take demolitions again.
    (Rogue Trade.)
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:09 No.6737730
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    I am never again allowed to place medieval characters in my carefully crafted, painstakingly researched Halo setting.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:10 No.6737758
    I am no longer allowed to have 10 pounds of C4 strapped to my chest and hooked into my docwagon watch.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:12 No.6737783
    I'm not allowed to interrupt the DM's description of the room to break candlesticks in search of useful items and food.
    >> Masterfag !!wUrDqZks5cn 11/16/09(Mon)22:13 No.6737788
    ITT lots of things that make perfect sense.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:14 No.6737805
    I am not allowed to utter the phrase : "I don't have time!"
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:16 No.6737822
    I am no longer allowed to be the demons.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:17 No.6737846
    I am not allowed to be a Half-Ogre Barbarian Warhulk. Half Ogre Barbarian is ok, and so is Half-Ogre Warhulk, but not all of them together.

    I'm not allowed to be a Frenzied Berserker in 3.5, ever.

    These were all pre-emptive bans, too, so I never even got a chance to justify them. ;_;
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:18 No.6737858
    No longer able to use my demi power loving cleric of the:

    War God of JEHOVAH!!!!

    I am his righteous bloody right hand!
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:18 No.6737860
    I lol'd

    I'm no longer allowed to take my Grandmother as a Cohort and make her a Monk.
    >> Deathwatch Tran 11/16/09(Mon)22:19 No.6737865
    SUPREME CLEAVE!!!!!!!!!!! My dad would have hated me if I knew about Frenzied berserker when we used to play.... he already hated my great cleave enough.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:20 No.6737893
    Not even kidding. The DM loved it when I was the inside man but the rest of the party already hated my tendency to be a backstabbing bastard.
    Yeah, frenzied berserker is a gun class.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:22 No.6737908
    -not allowed to use that one drill-arm from Inquisitor's handbook anymore

    -not allowed to attempt to falcon punch the DM's "rocks fall" moster

    -not allowed to intimidate every npc i meet

    -not allowed to pull a master blaster and/or take hulking hurler

    -not allowed to be a warforged bard who repeats "rock. warforged rock" every few sentences.
    >> Mr. Broken Sword 11/16/09(Mon)22:23 No.6737917
    I'm no longer allowed to leave any of my wizard spell slots blank during the day.

    I'm no longer allowed to walk into magic shops and cast disjunction.

    I'm no longer allowed more than two level of fighter.

    I'm no longer allowed to use any combination of EWPP: Full Blade, Monkey Grip, and any 2W fighting feats.

    I'm no longer allowed to play Kensai Monk

    I'm no longer allowed to cast explosive delayed fireball.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:24 No.6737933
    I'm not allowed to use Sidereal Larceny to steal someone's train of thought mid-Socery and make them cast Death of Obsidian Butt.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:24 No.6737935
    >I'm no longer allowed to walk into magic shops and cast disjunction.

    Oh man, that'd be an epic troll
    >> The Big Text 11/16/09(Mon)22:25 No.6737946
    -I am not allowed to use the echos of my instrument off of cave walls to gain sonar, especially since it didn't work the first time.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:25 No.6737956
    Not allowed to make a Mime bard.

    Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to make it sound like the BBEG farted.

    Actually, not allowed near Cantrips period.
    >> Mr. Broken Sword 11/16/09(Mon)22:26 No.6737959

    And I'm no longer allowed to prepare chain chained light and summon monster spells.

    I'm also not allowed more than 2 days time to prepare magical items for open warfare, nor co-ordinate large scale low level magical NPCs to help me create such items. The only thing more devastating that chain chained lighting is chained widened fireball.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:26 No.6737962
    I'm not allowed to turn NPCs into adventures.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:26 No.6737968
    I'm no longer allowed to make jokes whenever I use Evard's Grasping Tentacles
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:28 No.6737987
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    >-not allowed to be a warforged bard who repeats "rock. warforged rock" every few sentences.

    AWESOME. Why would anyone ban that?
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:30 No.6738014
    Not allowed to convince the entire party to play quintuplets.

    We actually did this one time, played quintuplet bards, ah the stories I could tell...
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:32 No.6738042
    How about if me and three others play Necropolitans named Cherry, Vanilla, and Chocolate?
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:35 No.6738084
    *I am no longer allowed to have ranged weapons and be CN at the same time
    *I am no longer allowed to tie multiple random wands together to make a super charged randomized magical bazooka
    *I am no longer allowed to pull from the deck of many things (DM said I am either too damn lucky, or I am manipulating the deck)
    *I am no longer allowed to have cha above 18
    *I am no longer allowed to be alone in a room while I am playing a rouge
    *I am no longer allowed to be in heavily crowded areas while I am playing a rogue
    *I am no longer allowed within 10ft of the paladin while I am playing a rogue
    *I am no longer allowed within 20ft of any recurring NPC while I am playing a rogue
    *I am no longer allowed to be in any sort of shop while I am playing a rogue
    *I am fairly sure I am about to lose being able to play a rogue
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:38 No.6738125
    I'm never again allowed to yell "Razzle Dazzle!" when I use that light cantrip
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:38 No.6738126
    Which system do you use for the one piece games?
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:38 No.6738133
    posting in epic thread
    >> Deathwatch Tran 11/16/09(Mon)22:42 No.6738183
    Magical bazooka is small time! Magical gatling gun is the way to go. Mount it on a tripod in a hallway and UNLEASH THE FURY.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:43 No.6738211
    go on...
    I'm not allowed to sell the party into slavery.
    I'm not allowed to sell single party members into slavery.
    I'm not allowed to lay claim to an item I cannot use and rent it to other PCs.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:44 No.6738226

    Would definitely like to hear the story
    >> Blood Tuxedo !lhlH0ouhYo 11/16/09(Mon)22:48 No.6738284
    I am no longer allowed to use a rod of wonder.
    I am not allowed to permanancy any spell
    I am not allowed to be a dwarf in d20 modern
    I am not allowed to play a Sister of Battle younger than 18
    I am not allowed to use handle animal on insects
    I am not allowed to play the Megaman X Storm Eagle theme when my Warden uses Storm Eagle form.
    I am never, EVER allowed to play Wikipedius the Wizard ever again.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:48 No.6738287
    I'm not allowed to play a CN pixie EVER.

    I'm not allowed to play a paladin who rides a bear in spike plate barding.

    I'm not allowed to summon my paladin mounts over enemies(see last)
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:48 No.6738288
    Not allowed to cast Dance of Ruin, preemptively

    Not allowed to create dream worlds where all of the PCs die before they get a chance to find out where they are
    >> Blood Tuxedo !lhlH0ouhYo 11/16/09(Mon)22:51 No.6738319
    I forgot that I am no longer allowed to seduce a Sith in the midst of battle, even if I am an intergalactic rock star with godly charisma.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:52 No.6738331
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    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:53 No.6738342
    Star Wars
    -no longer allowed to convince the entire party to play astromech droids.
    -no longer allowed to refer to astromech droids as 'starship buttplugs' or 'buttplugs' or 'bp's' for short
    -no longer allowed to play a species that does not breath oxygen
    -the above does not allow gills.
    -no longer allowed access to the force. ever.
    -no longer allowed access to Ysalimiri
    -no longer allowed access to knowledge the above exists.
    -no longer allowed aboard rebel flagships
    -no longer allowed aboard imperial anything
    -thermal detonators. no. just no.
    -protocol droids have uses besides knowing which culture and/or species women will put out on the first date.
    -no the GM does not have to say what they are.
    -no longer allowed to betray the rebellion to the empire, resulting in their annihilation, only to sneak explosives into emperor's presence and plunge the entire galaxy into a chaotic civil war from which there is no escape.

    Next character is going to be a jawa cyborg specializing in close combat. The robes should hide the upgrades until it is too late.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:56 No.6738377
    >I am never, EVER allowed to play Wikipedius the Wizard ever again.
    I lol'd so hard at this.

    My contribution -
    I can no longer use the any of the following words and phrases in any plan or situation- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this party and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all barbarians are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:57 No.6738402

    You're a creepy fuck.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:57 No.6738403

    that's from skippy's list, isn't it?

    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:58 No.6738411
    Star Wars:

    I'm no longer allowed to play a Gonk Droid Jedi


    I'm never allowed to play Bard with Perform (Being Sexy)

    I'm not allowed to play a Druid/Ninja that Alters Self to look like a turtle.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:58 No.6738413
    >My contribution...

    don't you mean

    >My blatant theft from skippy's list.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:59 No.6738423
    I am no longer allowed to attach a Lasgun to the top of my Bolter and use said Lasgun as a Laser Sight.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)22:59 No.6738425

    Is... is there a *list* you guys are keeping?
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:00 No.6738440
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    Pic VERY related.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:02 No.6738464
    I'm never allowed to play a Cowboy character that Draws wands and spout Clint Eastwood lines.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:03 No.6738471
    My character is not allowed to have a 9 foot tall NPC wife with 30+ STR.
    >> Mr. B !jTwseny72A 11/16/09(Mon)23:03 No.6738475
    I'm no longer allowed to use my actual mage powers in a magic show. (WoD)
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:06 No.6738508
    PD is faggots.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:06 No.6738510
    fucking brilliant.
    >> Mr. B !jTwseny72A 11/16/09(Mon)23:07 No.6738524
    Jokes on them, I made an arch-mage ability that allowed me to do that very thing. "HEY EVERYBODY, WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?" And then every Guardian of the Veil shits themselves.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:08 No.6738530
    No longer allowed to look for lottery ticket numbers when looking through the future with a timecube. (on accident.
    Am expected to hand said lottery tickets over to my superiors in Delta Green.
    Am expected to take more than one point of sanity damage per adventure. (The dice were on my side for sanity rolls. Everything else was average, but I passed almost every sanity test.)
    [character is a physics professor at University of San Diego] Am not allowed to have video recordings of my 'adventures' played when I'm called away by Delta Green.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:11 No.6738558
    -My team is not the A-team and I should stop refering to it as such.
    -The Wookie is not T-Bacca
    -I do not love it when a plan comes together
    -I do not have the ability to make "Some kind of Mobile Death Barricade" out of stuff I find laying around a Sith warehouse.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:11 No.6738560
    I am not allowed to play a the halfling Wa'yne if i'm only going to say "HWHAT?" and "YEAH-EH?
    >> Mr. B !jTwseny72A 11/16/09(Mon)23:11 No.6738563
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    No longer allowed to shoot arrows at gazebos.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:13 No.6738592
    None of my characters may have a southern accent after "Colonel Sanders," the Guardsman acolyte in Dark Heresy. I am also never allowed to charm dragons (I suggested it eat the dwarf in the party. Which it did.)
    >> Blood Tuxedo !lhlH0ouhYo 11/16/09(Mon)23:14 No.6738597
    I am not allowed to make a Bear Warrior simply because of the opportunity to make horrible puns.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:14 No.6738611
    I'm never allowed to have explosives, not after the last time the orphanage was destroyed. Even though it wasn't my fault, the orphanage had to be put out somehow, and I figured blasting the dam with an RPG would do the trick.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:18 No.6738658
    As a bard, I am not allowed to break into Bittersweet Symphony.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:23 No.6738709
    I am no longer allowed to use summoned monsters to kill people in a city with a limited number of visitors per day to make room for my party to enter.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:28 No.6738774
    I am no longer allowed to make self-replicating machines

    I am simultaneously not allowed to raise animals, or anything that can reproduce

    I am also not allowed to warp or change animals to be... von neumann machines.

    similarly, I cannot use ghouls to make more ghouls

    the DM frowns on such things.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:29 No.6738787

    wasn't there a movie, some little guy with a high-pitched voice...

    'I don't neeed (guns/knives?) to kill you! I'll KEEEEL you with my bare haaands!"
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:30 No.6738801
    Sounds like when I blew up our ship with plasma explosives. Ah the look on there faces were utterly priceless. And the GM was amazed I actually went through with it.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:30 No.6738807
    Yes, and that scene was bearly tolerable.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:32 No.6738820
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    Your group must have found that unBEARable.
    >> Blood Tuxedo !lhlH0ouhYo 11/16/09(Mon)23:32 No.6738824
    It was truly a grizzly affair.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:39 No.6738903
    Archive this thread
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:39 No.6738914
    My character's name is not Killface McDeath. He does not ride through the mountains of burning ash on a pitch-black DIRE HORSE. His hands are not strong enough to "crush ten thousand babies' skulls at once." He does not wear a shirt sewn out of the ears of his defeated enemies. He does not scar his own genitals to tally-mark the women he has despoiled. He does not play the harpsichord at a professional level.
    >> Mr. B !jTwseny72A 11/16/09(Mon)23:40 No.6738932
    Guys, think we can PAWS the puns here? I'd rather not grin and BEAR it.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:44 No.6738975
    I'm no longer allowed to create any Warforged character who's battle cry is
    10: KILL
    20: GOTO 10
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:50 No.6739056
    I'm not allowed to play a High Elf that is born evil into a good society, becomes a ranger of Lolth, flees to the Underdark, and travels to a Drow city to fit in.
    >> Anonymous 11/16/09(Mon)23:52 No.6739094
    Preemptive: never, ever allowed to take Vicissitude with my Malkavian who has the Giant merit.

    Never allowed to be anywhere near Mechanus. I WILL end up breaking it somehow.

    My groups are pretty lenient, actually.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)00:06 No.6739284

    well, what movie was it?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)00:15 No.6739376
    I'm not allowed to make a female anything. PC, NPC, DMPC, monster. Apparently, RP'ing any kind of female for anything is gay in my group, and grounds for a DM-smack.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)00:16 No.6739398
    Avenger or Warden, I forget, is banned from our group because two of the three DM's got tired of one player always picking it. The third DM uses 95% RP, so it never comes up.
    >> Ghost !4u16FlNpwo 11/17/09(Tue)00:22 No.6739469
    Im not allowed to bring Tequila in place of snacks for the group

    Im not allowed to play straight up fighters. I did silly shit like making a fighter based around unarmed strike and grapple that turned out more effective in combat than a monk.

    Im not allowed to make worship dieties outside of ones presented in 3.5 books. No more Cleric of Cthulhu or Paladin of Ganesh...darn.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)00:26 No.6739518
    Just because Im a Paladin in a group of Evil characters does not give me the right, excuse or pardon by any NPC authority to kill them
    >> Vekter !OIqMj3oAUI 11/17/09(Tue)00:36 No.6739630
    I am not allowed to play a Dwarven Cleric any more.

    Reasons include the fact that this character has destroyed half a town and attempted to kill a Dread Necromancer.
    >> Ghost !4u16FlNpwo 11/17/09(Tue)00:38 No.6739643
    Also after playing a Marshall and taking the Leadership feat I am not allowed to combine those two. Especially when combined with a small village and alot of gold

    "I cast fireball"
    "I sneak attack"
    "I command my battalion of conscripts to rush the necromancer head on"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)00:49 No.6739753
    Bumping awesome, by the way.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)00:52 No.6739788
    I am not allowed to say "(insert monster name), I choose you!" every time I cast Summon Monster X.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:27 No.6740163
    I can not have acid. suicide hugging the BBEG when I meet him is wrong.

    my penis is not another magic ring slot.

    in modren settings I can not ask /b/ what to do on whim
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:39 No.6740281
    If I must swallow items to hide them, I have to keep track of how much i swallowed

    (I got to about 500GP and several pounds worth of equipment before the GM noticed)
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:40 No.6740294
    I cannot make deals with Slaaneshi demons any more.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:45 No.6740339
    I am no longer allowed to tie the party together with rope when we are about to enter a mist and monster filled mazelike dungeon.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:45 No.6740344
    No one can play an Ewok.

    Droids can't have flame emitters.

    Wedge will FUCKING KILL YOU.

    Stormtrooper rifles have a switch labeled "Hit/Miss".

    A thermal detonator is a small nuclear demolitions device, not a grenade that does extra damage, the video games are lying to you.

    Every radio plays Johnny Cash.

    Tatooine is off limits.

    You can put the word 'space' in front of things if you're not familiar with the lore i.e. Space-Nam.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:49 No.6740382
    No one can play a gungan.

    No one can be the secret sith apprentice.

    No, you did not grow up on Tantooine.

    No, you aren't the long lost daughter of Kyle Kataarn.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:50 No.6740389
    However, they do not know which setting is which.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:50 No.6740395

    >Wedge will FUCKING KILL YOU.

    Should add Wes, Porkins, Tycho and Hobbie as well.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)01:51 No.6740402
    I may not use Russian accents.

    Not all of my rogues/scums can be named the Artful Dodger. And no, the bbeg from my past is not known as Fagin the Jew.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:01 No.6740523
    In our universe, Wedge emits an aura that kills stormtroopers. Instantly, no save, just dead.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:06 No.6740561
    /tg/ has a terrible sense of humor.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:07 No.6740566

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:14 No.6740638
    I am not allowed to torture enemies for information.

    Yes, water-boarding is torture.

    No, I can not punch the god of injustice in the junk.

    Even if it is suitably ironic.

    I cannot make charms to burn fire aspects, no matter how funny it would be.

    I am not allowed to mention cannibalism in any game after the "candyland" incident.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:23 No.6740734
    >>6737908 -not allowed to be a warforged bard who repeats "rock. warforged rock" every few sentences.

    Whoever banned that is a dickbag.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:25 No.6740744
    I'm not allowed to play an awakened grizzly bear druid with lycanthropy so that I'm a werebear with leadership, and gain familiar to have a bear familiar, a bear animal companion, a bunch of awakened bear or werebear cohorts, and use spells and handle animal to field a bearpocalypse.

    Especially if my cohorts also take leadership.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:27 No.6740767
    Wait a sec, are these for real? This thread is a long list of stupid shit that nobody should try and pull.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:28 No.6740773

    Mine is real. I can't vouch for the other ideas though.
    >> Gonk Gonk 11/17/09(Tue)02:29 No.6740780
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    Gonk goes in all fields.
    >> Blood Tuxedo !lhlH0ouhYo 11/17/09(Tue)02:31 No.6740786
    All of the stuff I've posted I've either done, or proposed to the DM and had it immediately shot down.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:33 No.6740809

    That is fucking rediculous.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:36 No.6740827
    Not allowed to use rules for HADOKEN in 3.5
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:37 No.6740839
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    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:37 No.6740841
    Probably about half and half. You'd be surprised what kind of shit people pull.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:37 No.6740844

    One might also call it ridiculous
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:39 No.6740856
    I'm not allowed to spend my gold on 400 domestic cats with plate barding pulling a chariot.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:40 No.6740867
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    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:40 No.6740870
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)02:48 No.6740937
    I'm not allowed to convince the DM to bump the game up to level 2 for the sole purpose of free mundane equipment.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:04 No.6741067
    That's kinda awesome, actually. Is there a table somewhere showing how much weight a creature can pull, with an entry for cats?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:05 No.6741079
    O(n^n) bears?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:19 No.6741178
    Drag weight is 5x your overhead carry weight (the one dictated by strength).

    ...which means for a cat that's 30x5 = 150lbs. Holy shit that's a strong cat.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:22 No.6741202
    You forget, it's alos modified bvy size category. Cat's are tiny, so it's 1/8th of 150.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:22 No.6741205
    ...you made adjustments for the fact it's Tiny, right?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:22 No.6741206

    That's exactly why the group banned me from doing it. It only takes someone to get a whole bunch of level 1 commoners as cohorts and then bite them all to give them lycanthropy.

    That shit's pretty fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:24 No.6741222
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:34 No.6741302
    bump for posterity
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:36 No.6741312
    Ah, I knew I was missing something. So a little under 20, that's a bit more reasonable.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)03:46 No.6741393
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 11/17/09(Tue)03:59 No.6741482
    I am no longer allowed to play psykers in Dark Heresy
    I am no longer allowed to play Techpriests in Dark heresy
    I am no longer allowed to play a scum and set up a criminal empire powerful enough to take on the arbites and PDF vie drug running and prostitution in Dark heresy
    I am no longer allowed to carry a man-portable lascannon, accessories or no.
    I am no longer allowed to us promethium tanks to create fuel air explosions larger than the continent.
    I do not get experience for every individual in a hive city.
    I do not get experience for killing party members. Even if I have a good reason.
    I never have a good reason to kill party members.
    I am no longer allowed to hire other people to do all the investigating.
    I am no longer allowed to spraypaint the Inquisitorial Seal on anything.

    There's a load more, I just don't have The List on me.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:01 No.6741494
    >I do not get experience for killing party members. Even if I have a good reason.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:05 No.6741519
    >>I am no longer allowed to us promethium tanks to create fuel air explosions larger than the continent.
    Why did you try to do that?
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 11/17/09(Tue)04:08 No.6741542
    Too many heretics, not enough time.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:09 No.6741552
    I am not allowed to DM in Dark Heresy any more, because my players always end up using solutions like this and there's no campaign any more.
    >> Ragebrew Axebeard 11/17/09(Tue)04:10 No.6741561
    I no longer am allowed to sell any elven character into slavery.
    I am no longer allowed into elven forests with anything that can start a fire. (Bitches forgot I have maxed out survival...)
    I am no longer allowed to play Techpriests, based upon grounds of upgrading unwilling party members by knocking them via high voltage
    I am no longer allowed to use flamers before I have skill in them.
    I am no longer allowed to play elves, because I play cannablistic woodland defenders who use wood and bone for weapons. Not to mention dipping them in my feces before battle.
    I am no longer allowed to play psychers. The dice seem to love nines when I do.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:12 No.6741572

    lol. When I started my first 2nd Level 4e character, I took every single skill-boosting mundane item in the books. My group loved me for it.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 11/17/09(Tue)04:12 No.6741576
    Oh, and I am no longer allowed to use meltabombs as close combat weapons.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:12 No.6741583
    you were thinking lil john, but good effort
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:16 No.6741608
    - Fire does not have an armor class, nor hit points, no matter how often I try to "attack" it.

    - The animals I pull out of my bag of tricks are not trainable, regardless of how many ranks in Handle Animal I have.

    - For that matter, encouraging my warhorse to "mount" the party's other horses is right out. Starting a horse breeding business is not a valid excuse.

    - While technically not disallowed, singing "The Bear Song" is not an appropriate battle cry.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 11/17/09(Tue)04:23 No.6741654
    I am no longer allowed to spend all my points in contacts and call in favors from the High Lords of Terra, the Grey Knights, the Officio Assasinorum, my own Inquisitor, the Imperial Guard, the Imperial Navy, the Adeptus Astartes, the Sisters of Battle, the Adeptus Arbites, or the planetary governor.
    I am not authorized to set up the Pimpquisition.
    I am no longer allowed to play a half-ogryn
    I am no longer allowed to take +3 Pedophilia (okay this was another player and there's a long story behind it but still)
    I am no longer allowed to make the Mastergun
    I am no longer allowed to take Thrown Weapon (Force) or (Power)
    I am no longer allowed to have a willpower above 40
    I am no longer allowed to set up booby-traps in the ship that I don't tell the rest of the party about
    I am no longer allowed to open the entire space hulk to vacuum and pick up the valuable stuff later.
    I shall never again attempt to convince a Slaaneshi Daemon that the Emperor was the greatest Keeper of Secrets of all time.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:26 No.6741676
    Just because Invokers are incapable of changing alignment doesn't mean that my lawful good Invoker is allowed to enslave children.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:28 No.6741697
    I'm never again allowed to join a party with a character 3 times the level of the other players and either enslave or kill them in the first 20 minutes after the game starts.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:33 No.6741727
    I am not allowed to demand the king give me his magical intercom system before agreeing to work for him.

    This still applies even if that magical intercom system would have indeed been lifesaving fifteen minutes later.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:34 No.6741728
    I am no longer allowed to take leadership and recruit solely spellcasting followers.
    Especially if all they are going to do is cast magic missile in the first round of combat.
    Extra especially if several scrolls of target dispel magic are used first to pop the shield spell.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:35 No.6741744
    Your wood elf concept is stolen
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:36 No.6741747
    Oh- I am no longer allowed to have my only weapons grenades and rockets (Shadowrun)

    I am no longer allowed to attach twenty lightsabers and an extra-strong shield on the stolen droideka so it can ball up, shield up, and roll over everything like a lightsaber-spiked deathball.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:44 No.6741785
    I cannot become addicted to Bullywug slaying.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)04:47 No.6741799
    i am not aloud to be an Alchemist Savant if i insist on having alcohol as a signature ingredient in my universal potions.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:03 No.6741887

    What book is this from?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:07 No.6741918
    I am no longer to claim that my samurai paradin's arignment is rofl good.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:13 No.6741964
    I am no longer allowed to play multiclass bard/barbarians with Weapon Focus (Spiked Mandolin)

    I also can't claim that my bardbarian invented death metal.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:27 No.6742089
    I am no longer allowed to use multiple tenser's floating discs, mage hand, and a length of rope to make my own personal train.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:40 No.6742206
    I'm not allowed to add random shit to my sentance (such as "purple monkey dishwater")
    I'm not allowed to have anything random unless I can explain what it is for. (such as asking for a 1000 yards of string, a roll of duct tape, and a rubber duck)
    Shooting NPCs first is not acceptable, and never will be. This is doubly so for ones that are required for the story to progress.
    I am not, and never will be the avatar of sweet, sexy justice.
    I may not play a gnome or dwarf or anything else short race. This is now set to: I must have all characters approved by the GM.
    I may not taunt the power gamer. I may not mess with the power gamer. I may not make the power gamer cry.
    Killing the other PCs is not allowed with out good reason. Because they did ANYTHING out of session is not a good reason. I may not kill them at the start of the session either.
    I may not come to the game without pants. I may not come to the game with out shirt. I must be fully clothed when I arrive and must take those clothes with me when I leave. On my body. I am not allowed to take off my clothes while there either.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:44 No.6742226
    i am no longer allowed to set the barbarian on fire while hes fighting a troll
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:45 No.6742240
    I may not make a warforged out of a dildo
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:53 No.6742308

    I assume you are also not allowed to partially remove clothing so your junk/nipples/anus is exposed?

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:55 No.6742321
    Colostomy bag would be my first guess.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:56 No.6742326
    I am no longer allowed to play a mage with high strength.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:56 No.6742330

    They require a hole to be bored through a spot that is not your anus to function. That is literally part of the description.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:57 No.6742337
    -I may no longer use my underaged elf to seduce the dwarven paladin. Or the gnome bard. Or the halfling rogue.

    -Atomic wedgies may NOT be given to ogres when you're four feet tall, even when magically assisted.

    -Tenser's Floating Dick may not be used to block a spells verbal componentsn nor to force a concentration check.

    -'Wild magic' is not my trainer attempting to hit on me.

    -'I castrate it' is not an acceptable solution to every encounter.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:00 No.6742352
    I have to leave and come back.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:00 No.6742356
    I know, and he would simply get a shirt with a hole in it in order to comply with his group's rulings.

    Man, the things we do for our hobby.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:07 No.6742408
    i am not allowed to make a robot maid with battle ship class cannons, or a character who's power is that he owns a giant battleship.

    i am not allowed to make a character with an infinite wealth score, and i am not allowed to make a character in d20 Past that builds a computer into a zeppelin and then uses it as a laptop.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:20 No.6742527
    If I have the spells 'Grease', 'Mount', and 'Rope Trick' listed in my spellbook, they must be the PHB versions of those spells.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:24 No.6742567
    I am not allowed to summon more than 4 celestial dire badgers per encounter.

    "Stop: hammertime" is not a valid battlecry, even if my character's last name is Hammer.

    I am not allowed to create a magical AI.
    The same goes for mecha, submarines, and armored vehicles.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)06:31 No.6742654
    No longer allowed to combine ninja, monk, and sorcerer in a single character, take a toad familiar, and run around shouting "BELIEVE IT!"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:34 No.6742688
    All while playing the fallen angel Lucifer (Who in game was different to Satan, long story):
    -I am no longer to turn into my full demonic form in elevators.
    -I cannot burn down the BBEG's house with hellfire from 3 miles up in the air.
    -I cannot challenge anyone to a rock off ever again...
    -Not even another devil, even if the devil himself and the fallen angel Lucifer having a guitar off over London at Midnight while they burn as bright as day and people look on in awe, is awesome beyond all logic.
    -I am not to reffer to myself as DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDER! while on my Motorbike.
    -When the other PCs don't know who I am, I am not to say to them 'I'm a rouge and a vagabond, a freedom fighter and a six gun slinger and when the time calls for it, the devil himself.' and then laugh my ass off when he says "Yes, well I have enough money to take the devil himself to court."
    -I shall not spend the entire RP claiming there is infact a demon code, with strict rule of what I can and can't do, when there isn't and at the last moment when they bring in all their knowledge of the demon code to try and prevent me from taking over the world, say, in character "Lol-no, HELLFIAH!!!" And blast them all for 10D20 damage.

    That character was so damn fun.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:41 No.6742750
    I am no longer allowed to pump random animals and bystanders full of spook in an attempt to turn them into walking perils of the warp time bombs.

    I am no longer allowed to attack bayonets flamer units (or any other weapon) in an attempt to make them usable by an assassin with an aversion to non-bladed weapons.

    I can not attach more blades to a bladed weapon to make it blade-ier for similar reason as above.

    I can not make servitors carry and use all my ranged weapons. see above.

    I am not allowed to ride chainswords into combat like powered rollerblades.

    I am not allowed pyrokinetics anymore. (was uttered by the GM after the phrase "vissible from space")

    and last.

    Demon hosts are never to be created intentionaly for the purpose of effective collateral damage.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:48 No.6742827
    I am not allowed to shout random action movie quotes in DH, even if the situation calls for it.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)07:07 No.6742988
    No longer allowed to crossclass a bard with anything.

    No longer allowed the use of double weapons.

    Was not allowed to start off a game as a Dragon Disciple of Falcor.

    No longer allowed to have more than 10 ranks in the disguise skill.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:22 No.6743114
    When playing a Candlekeep scholar I am not to make Candlekeep the first bastion of human cooperation with Lizardfolk, werecreatures, Goblionids, Liches and other usual social Pariah races because they helped us free it from demons (To be fair I made them all geas promise not to harm anyone first, to work towards the betterment of all and made sure they were all good guys first. Shit was so awesome.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:23 No.6743121
    I'm not allowed to play DnD anymore
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:24 No.6743142
    sounds pretty gay bro.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:27 No.6743181
    not allowed to be alone in a room with a little boy anymore
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:28 No.6743183
    I am no longer allowed to take "Time Sense" In Vampire the masquerade and constantly ask for the exact time down to the second.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:28 No.6743184
    I am not to play a high level repeating villian in a supers RP and after being beaten several times, give up villiany and become a normal working Joe by buying a small electrics company (When I was known for my Robot themed villany...And my small buiness was run out of my old EVIL LAIR with my old killer robots now programmed to repair watches and make tea for customers) and working hard, only to have the heroes not belive I have turned good and stalk me driving me back to the side of evil.
    They felt very guilty for that...Which was awesome.
    The best part was when I opened the door, clad in my EVIL ARMOUR holding a strange device which emitted ominous noises which turned out to be a custom built MP3 which a guy wanted as a birthday present for his wife.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 11/17/09(Tue)07:31 No.6743219
    I cannot deliberately turn myself into a daemonhost, even a thrice-bound one. No, it doesn't matter how radical our Inquisitor is.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:32 No.6743229
    >"Yes, well I have enough money to take the devil himself to court."
    Vaguely related; did you know someone tried this? He sued 'Lucifer, aka Satan, aka the Devil, aka [...]" for "willfully and intentionally placing obstacles in my life which led to my downfall". The court dismissed his case with two very good arguments:
    1) He failed to provide an address to which court documents could be delivered to the defendant, and my favorite,
    2) The defendant's status as "a foreign prince" exempted him from civil prosecution.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:36 No.6743264
    I am going to mention that in character at some point if we ever do a continuation now...

    Playing the fallen angel Lucifer as a charming, Bombastic, dance on a razor blades edge type was one of the most enjoyable characters I've ever played. Each to their own I guess though.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:42 No.6743321
    Definitely gay, bro.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:46 No.6743350
    >2) The defendant's status as "a foreign prince" exempted him from civil prosecution.

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:48 No.6743364
    I can't take peasants with me to use them as decoy for traps

    I can't teach old grannies on wheelchair how to fly anymore ;_;

    And if we try to play a serious campaign I can't do the paladin.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:07 No.6743475
    Not allowed to play a paladin with an Irish accent.

    No longer allowed to play a paladin with Wis lower than ten.

    No longer allowed to play lawful Evil Monks.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:10 No.6743494
    May not rally townsfolk to undertake a mega-project that would be daunting in this day and age, particularly if it involves changing the map.

    I still say we could have moved that lake.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:14 No.6743528
    Never again allowed to play a werebadger.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:54 No.6743926
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)09:47 No.6744370
    If anything makes me giggle for more than a minute, I'm not allowed to have it.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:11 No.6744601
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:18 No.6744668
    If I have to ask my DM if I can buy five or more items for the plan to work, I'm not allowed to do it.
    (This came about after I asked the DM for a few hundred feet of rope, a number of logs, a crown of brilliance or whatever that magic item is with all the magic gems that do fiery-things, alchemical fire, fireball beads, and an engineer with at least seven ranks in know (arch and engineering).)

    If it bleeds, I can kill it. If it can't bleed, I can probably kill it. If it's a god, I can't kill it, even if it bleeds.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:18 No.6744671
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    They banned me from making laconic, alcoholic minimum-intelligence/wisdom guitar bards with very pointy hairdos and shoes after the last one succeeded in forming a background choir out of a band of orcs he fascinated.

    Ah, those were the days...
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:22 No.6744703
    Not allowed to not use my jump pack at least once in every scene.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:24 No.6744722
    no one in my current game is allowed to try and get laid. even in offhand comments. we'll be stabbed. Also, not the DM's rule.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:37 No.6744826
    I am never again to claim that one of the uses of Miracle is 'Summoning the Electric Kung-Fu Jesus to aid us in our time of need'
    Never again.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:39 No.6744838
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:58 No.6744997
    I'm not allowed to make my fruits magical.

    I'm not allowed to take weapon focus: Lute.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:58 No.6744999
    The character itself was more on the lines of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd5KWveH1RE&feature=related

    That is, more apathetic retarded than awesome.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:02 No.6745039
    My bard is NOT spoony. Even if I checked.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:04 No.6745052
    No more lolis PCs or familiars for me.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:08 No.6745080
    -I am not allowed to dance on the fucking fence
    -I am not allowed to play drunken homosexual
    -Im not allowed to get any
    >> Thou Dog 11/17/09(Tue)11:17 No.6745159
    Not that I've played that much, but I can't think I would ever do something to get me, or a particular trick I used, banned from a game. How do you guys do it?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:23 No.6745206
    Any trick that ass-rapes party balance or derails the game, either in character (a 3 hour discussion on the ramifications of Bob's bard sleeping with the queen and her daughters on the eve of battle) or out of character (a long discussion of nachos brought on by Bob's bard's build)
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:24 No.6745213
    is just waiting to get banned.

    Don't know why that last part wasn't included hurrdurr i'm a faggot
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:24 No.6745220
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    No longer allowed to impersonate Horatio Caine.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:25 No.6745226
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:29 No.6745250
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    wat wat wat wat wat
    What the fuck am I listening to? Bizarro space beatles?

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:30 No.6745256
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:37 No.6745300
    >I do not get experience for every individual in a hive city.
    I giggled uncontrollably.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:39 No.6745305
    >cast light on sorcerer's hat
    >so... are you feeling LIGHT HEADED?!?!?
    I'm not allowed to make puns anymore
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:44 No.6745327
    I'm never allowed to play a barbarian gnome ever again.

    ...It seemed like a good idea at the time, I swear.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:47 No.6745338
    I am no longer allowed to utter the phrase "Quentin Terentino Hijack"
    My character's personality can never again be 'Jack Sparrow, but crazier"
    I am not allowed to single handedly declare war on 'normality'
    'Resevior Dogs Hijack' is still a 'Terentino-jack'
    I am not allowed to convince the party that solving a question in my backstory is more important than the DM's plot.
    >> supermoose 11/17/09(Tue)11:47 No.6745341
    Star Wars:
    -no longer allowed to use force powers
    -no longer allowed to take every knowledge skill in the game and a talent that lets me take one trained knowledge skill check per minute as a natural 20

    D20 Future:
    -No longer allowed to start with so much money that at lvl 1 I buy a fully armed black hawk helicopter
    -No longer allowed to take the history path which never lets my money fall below what is required to buy c4
    -No longer allowed to send out said infinite C4 by mail and watch the havoc ensue.

    -No longer allowed to take as my divine title "the" to get vision over the entire material plane
    -No longer allowed to play psions
    -No longer allowed to use bags of holding inside portable holes for anything other than item destruction.
    -"lost forever in the astral plane" Does not suggest that my phylactary will be safe for all eternity as no one can possibly find it.
    -can no longer play 2 gnome bards each at half the party level with disguise, one with balance and one with ride, dressed as one medium sized creature.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:49 No.6745351
    I'm no longer allowed to take Mordenkainens Disjunction as a spell. You break one too many artifacts and suddenly everyone hates the wizard.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:50 No.6745359
    I am forbidden from spending the party funds to make unicorn shotguns.

    I am forbidden from even mentioning unicorn shotguns.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:50 No.6745362
    >-can no longer play 2 gnome bards each at half the party level with disguise, one with balance and one with ride, dressed as one medium sized creature.

    I chuckled at that.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:52 No.6745370
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    Melf's Unicorn Arrow is a perfectly valid spell.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:53 No.6745383
    >-can no longer play 2 gnome bards each at half the party level with disguise, one with balance and one with ride, dressed as one medium sized creature.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:54 No.6745385
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    >I am never, EVER allowed to play Wikipedius the Wizard ever again.

    Goddammit I love you so much /tg/
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:54 No.6745390
    In my DM's defense, it's because I convinced the entire party what an awesome idea unicorn shotguns would be and got them to pony up the cash to make a set.

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:55 No.6745397
    I'm no longer allowed to make a grandfather's clock warforged, because it's apparently not CLOBBERING TIME.
    >> BROther Laughing Man !AWEsomEEEE!!h0s0sLzn6uv 11/17/09(Tue)11:55 No.6745399
    I am not allowed to put windows of escape on the side of my airship and leap out of them in the morning without informing my crew that they're magical, thus leading them to believe I'm an incarnation of a god.

    I am not allowed to coat my airship in adamantine and stand at the prow screaming "HELMSMAN! ACCELERATE TO RAMMING SPEED!"

    I'm not allowed to own an airship, period.

    I'm not allowed to hire a kobold mercenary who ends up being a drunken gambler, not because it's a bad idea, but because his hijinks detract from the actual campaign.

    "He did WHAT?" Me
    "Bought a dinosaur." Party's Rogue
    "YESSIR, THAT I DID. *hic*" 'Charak'
    "HOW did you get it in the crow's nest?" Me
    "Hey, man, like, *hic* there's a million things we *hic* din't understand. Like, magic. That's weird. You ever think of that?" Charak
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:58 No.6745414

    >>I'm no longer allowed to take Mordenkainens Disjunction as a spell. You break one too many artifacts and suddenly everyone hates the wizard.

    Why does nobody read the spell description? To break a magic item there's a 1% chance. People always claim that it's a supar powarful mage ability, but it's litterally 1%.

    Not that good.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:59 No.6745419
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    I am not allowed to use the Medicine skill on un-injured PCs or NPCs.

    I am no longer allowed to use my solid brass D20 when resolving inter-party conflict.

    I am no longer allowed to play Chinese bootleg artificial intelligences.

    I am no longer allowed to cast the spell 'Slime Wave.'

    I am no longer allowed to use live ammunition as proxies for miniatures.

    I am no longer allowed to have a character say any variation of "I DO COCAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINE," wear "Special Leather," or display any other Dethklok reference.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)12:00 No.6745421
    Only if it's an artifact, and it's 1% per caster level.

    > All magical effects and magic items within the radius of the spell, except for those that you carry or touch, are disjoined. That is, spells and spell-like effects are separated into their individual components (ending the effect as a dispel magic spell does), and each permanent magic item must make a successful Will save or be turned into a normal item. An item in a creature’s possession uses its own Will save bonus or its possessor’s Will save bonus, whichever is higher.

    You also have a 1% chance per caster level of destroying an antimagic field. If the antimagic field survives the disjunction, no items within it are disjoined.

    Even artifacts are subject to disjunction, though there is only a 1% chance per caster level of actually affecting such powerful items. Additionally, if an artifact is destroyed, you must make a DC 25 Will save or permanently lose all spellcasting abilities. (These abilities cannot be recovered by mortal magic, not even miracle or wish.)

    Note: Destroying artifacts is a dangerous business, and it is 95% likely to attract the attention of some powerful being who has an interest in or connection with the device.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)12:01 No.6745429

    >Chinese bootleg artificial intelligences

    Found my next character. Thank you!
    >> BROther Laughing Man !AWEsomEEEE!!h0s0sLzn6uv 11/17/09(Tue)12:01 No.6745434
    1% per caster level, bro. And it has a chance to screw up artifacts.

    I'm not allowed to play a Vow of Poverty/Peace/Nonviolence monk and stand in front of a wave of goblins as their weapons break saying 'Are we quite done, here?'

    I'm also not allowed to do this because my DM declared that the barbarian attacking me bare-fisted incurred the Fort save, and he broke his hand, thus causing me to 'fall'.

    I'm not subsequently allowed to play a 'fallen' monk as a lone wanderer in the night, jumping from rooftops and beating up muggers, claiming 'I am vengeance. I am the night. I am batman.'
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)12:40 No.6745808
    I am not a Cleric of Rock and Roll.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)12:55 No.6745936
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    >You were thinking Lil John
    GODDAMN IT, either way the party vetoed it from the get-go.

    In fact, most my character proposals are met with the question, "Is there a bad pun behind this?". Was the awakened bear monk really that bad?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)13:10 No.6746066
    Not allowed to push any NPC down some stairs if they even mildly act in a way I don't like

    Not even if they're the BBEG

    Not allowed to push any PC down some stairs if they even mildly act in a way I don't like.

    Not even if the guy controlling him/her has fallen asleep on my arm

    Not allowed near any stairs. (I'm serious, this is now a recurring homebrew rule)

    Not allowed to summon anything ever again.

    Not allowed to play chaotic good.

    Not allowed to play chaotic anything.

    No longer allowed to speak solely in Dragonforce lyrics.

    Or Rammstein

    No longer allowed to put bounties on the heads of my party.

    No longer allowed to tell any PC or NPC that I'm smarter than they are because my Wisdom is huge.

    Not allowed to tell the DM that I'm smarter than him because my chair is made of metal and his is plastic.

    Not allowed to claim to be smarter than anyone.

    Not allowed to play Dire Rat when DM's older Sister plays with us.

    Not allowed to play Dire anything when DM's older Sister plays with us.

    Not allowed to play Dire anything ever.

    I could go on.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)14:44 No.6747004
    I am not allowed to use "Lightning Lure" to pull my party members out of danger.

    I am not allowed to roll bluff checks to convince the skill challenge that I actually know something about religion.

    I am not allowed to do a urination check to extinguish the burning buildings.

    I am not allowed to get upset when the BBEG targets me for the entire fight after I laugh at his ridiculous hat.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)14:57 No.6747115
    >I am not allowed to roll bluff checks to convince the skill challenge that I actually know something about religion.

    I giggled.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)15:03 No.6747185
    I am not allowed to research any variation upon "Evard's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion".

    I cannot make constructs out of gazebos and use them to destroy the rest of the party. Nor can I awaken one and turn it into a repository of all knowledge.

    In fact, gazebos are right out.

    I cannot complain about the lack of good tea when playing in a Star Wars campaign, nor am I allowed to take "towel" as part of my gear.

    I am not allowed to use cargo vehicles as impromptu bombardment tools.

    I cannot play a druid and tell the rust monsters that platemail-armored paladins are friends, not food.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)15:26 No.6747435
    Not allowed to animate a castle and the DM doesn't care if I have the appropriate sorcery levels to do it.

    Not allowed to acquire a legion of slaves to carry a castle around with me in it

    Not allowed to cast weight-reducing spells on a castle and carry it myself.

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