I'm no longer allowed to play any form of Chaotic Alignment.

I'm not allowed to quote lines from Castlevania.

I'm not allowed to use the word "Pokemon" anywhere in my character description.

I'm not allowed to set anything on fire. It never works out in the end.

Dalamar's Lightning Lance has been banned from any game our group plays, even dragonlance ones.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE FUTANARI TECHPRIESTS.

I'm not allowed to make a character who is omnilingual by level 3.

I'm never allowed to hoard random NPC's into useful characters anymore.

I'm not allowed the use of Prestidigitation. EVER.

I'm not allowed to make a character that is mechanically designed to use other party members as weapons. nor am I allowed to take Weapon Focus: (Rogue)

I AM NOT ALLOWED TO BE DUNGEON MASTER.

I AM SORRY I BROUGHT A PIGBALL, AND HANDCUFFS, OK?

I'm not allowed to make a Hutt Jedi :(

I'm not allowed near grenades.

I'm not allowed to NOT kick doors in Arbites boots.

I'm not allowed to talk about Fight Club.

>>6737211
hahahaha. I don't know what I laughed as hard as I did.

>>6737220
You just broke rule one of fight club...don't talk about fight club. Fuck. I just broke the first rule of fight club.

I've been banned from having any character with "Leadership" and from having female cohorts.

. . .

AH! Had you going there for a second, right?
But no, seriously... I'm not allowed to make grapplers anymore, and I can never have an Xth-Level character with more than a +X skill mod in Use Rope (so any 12th-Level character I make can't have more than a +12 skill mod with Use Rope).
If you were ever in my group, you'd know why.

I'm not allowed to make a demolitions expert. I'm also not allowed to name my monk Kenshiro.

I'm no longer to allowed to use the following names in one piece game.

Bridge S. Todd
Dad D Big
Dan D Dan
Bono
Cher
Beck
Jerkin D. Monkey
Beatin D. Monkey

I'm not allowed to play LN and tell everyone "I'm just following orders".

I'm not allowed to stab the bard to death in his sleep.

I'm not allowed to push the fighter down corridors because I don't feel like searching for traps.

I am not allowed to rename any Monk power "Fist of the North Star."

I am no longer allowed to make elf artificiers with Elf Diliniate (or however it's spelled).

>>6737243

Name him Jotaro instead.

>>6737261

Name it Star Platinum instead.

>>6737243
>>6737261
...at least you can still make your Monks go ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA--
My DM won't let me do that at the table anymore.

http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html

I'm not allowed to try and forge documentation with my illiterate Barbarian.

No longer allowed to use meteoric iron collected from a star that fell in the north to build a magical mech named Fist of the North Star.

I'm not allowed to put kick me signs on the Barbarian.

I'm also not allowed to speak exclusively in my non-Common language.

I'm not allowed to name any character "Captain Killfuck."

I am no longer allowed to make characters whose own view of (the fantasy) reality is significantly different from objective view of reality.

I'm not allowed to call my Magic Missile "Silver Dildo Surprise."

I am no longer allowed to make a backpack chair and ride the half-orc into battle.

I am not aloud to have 4th dementional inventory space

a am not aloud to multiclass every level

im especially not aloud to take master inquisitive levels

i am not aloud to fake my death for a cheap divorce

i am not aloud to toss kobolds for recreation

I am no longer allowed to decide which way we go by consulting "the BONES!" with my barbarian.

I'm no longer allowed to roll piercing lethal damage when I have sex with a(n) N/DM/PC with a Monk with the Versatile Unarmed Strike feat.

Play neutral evil or chaotic evil in 3.5 D&D, or any evil alignment in 4e.

>>6737456

Do... Do they speak to you, too?

I'm not allowed to make a bard. PERIOD.

In 4e I can't get bard multiclass feats for my Paladin and make him a servant to the gods of rock.

>>6737512
Only when I cast them and seek their knowledge.

I'm no longer allowed to come up with a custom mount for my Paladin.

I'm never aloud to play a mute character again on pain of blinding

I'm never to play a blind character again on pain of hearing loss

I'm never to play a deaf character again on pain of tongue removal

I'm never hold more than one magic item at a time upon pain to my crotch

I'm never to change my gender during play through any means by pain of being ignored

My character is not allowed to get a tattoo that says "I pushed a boulder and it squished a goblin by accident."

I am not allowed to have a dog mount names Barkimus Prime.

I'm not allowed to make a superhero with Insect Control who uses his power to spew fire ants out of his dick as his primary form of attack.

I'm never allowed to play an Artificer ever again

I'm never allowed to use Craft (Alchemy) or any Alchemy Item that uses fire. Fire always works too well.

I'm no longer allowed to play a combination of A muskateer and Vinny from Disney's Atlantis.

I'm no longer able to own any vehicle large enough to fit more than 2 Medium sized creatures

I am no longer entitled to buy 100 chickens, 20 minstrels, and 50 messengers, assorted donkeys, a barrel of rum, a wagon(holds the chickens), the list goes on and on...

Well what did you buy with your gold from the last adventure? A Master crafted sword? Phhhssshhh I'm rich bitch!

/tg/ you never cease to amaze me.

I'm not allowed to spend my entire funds on daggers. Especially if I didn't buy anything to put them in.

I'm not allowed to kick in doors.
(Happened to every DH game and WoD game so far.)
Shoot at people before we knew the situation.
(DH and WoD again.)

Make Insane Werewolf Lord and rule a Gods Cursed Land of Madness.
(DnD and Epic DnD.)

Plant Explosives all over the ship and key it to my guys micro-bead. Even though it freaking worked and took out a bunch of fucking chaos mutineers. The team had already came up with a plan, soldiers and gear in order to retake the ship. And I told them I could solve it in a few words. I told the GM I opened up my Micro-Bead and gave the code Word 'Firebreak'. The GM then announced there was a huge flare of energy in orbit. The rest of the players were at first shocked then pissed at what I had been doing for five sessions with a fuckton of best quality plasma charges. They made me NEVER take demolitions again.
(Rogue Trade.)

I am never again allowed to place medieval characters in my carefully crafted, painstakingly researched Halo setting.

I am no longer allowed to have 10 pounds of C4 strapped to my chest and hooked into my docwagon watch.

>>6737156
I'm not allowed to interrupt the DM's description of the room to break candlesticks in search of useful items and food.

ITT lots of things that make perfect sense.

I am not allowed to utter the phrase : "I don't have time!"

I am no longer allowed to be the demons.

I am not allowed to be a Half-Ogre Barbarian Warhulk. Half Ogre Barbarian is ok, and so is Half-Ogre Warhulk, but not all of them together.

I'm not allowed to be a Frenzied Berserker in 3.5, ever.

These were all pre-emptive bans, too, so I never even got a chance to justify them. ;_;

No longer able to use my demi power loving cleric of the:

War God of JEHOVAH!!!!

I am his righteous bloody right hand!

>>6737822
I lol'd

I'm no longer allowed to take my Grandmother as a Cohort and make her a Monk.

>>6737846
SUPREME CLEAVE!!!!!!!!!!! My dad would have hated me if I knew about Frenzied berserker when we used to play.... he already hated my great cleave enough.

>>6737860
Not even kidding. The DM loved it when I was the inside man but the rest of the party already hated my tendency to be a backstabbing bastard.
>>6737865
Yeah, frenzied berserker is a gun class.

-not allowed to use that one drill-arm from Inquisitor's handbook anymore

-not allowed to attempt to falcon punch the DM's "rocks fall" moster

-not allowed to intimidate every npc i meet

-not allowed to pull a master blaster and/or take hulking hurler

-not allowed to be a warforged bard who repeats "rock. warforged rock" every few sentences.

I'm no longer allowed to leave any of my wizard spell slots blank during the day.

I'm no longer allowed to walk into magic shops and cast disjunction.

I'm no longer allowed more than two level of fighter.

I'm no longer allowed to use any combination of EWPP: Full Blade, Monkey Grip, and any 2W fighting feats.

I'm no longer allowed to play Kensai Monk

I'm no longer allowed to cast explosive delayed fireball.

I'm not allowed to use Sidereal Larceny to steal someone's train of thought mid-Socery and make them cast Death of Obsidian Butt.

>I'm no longer allowed to walk into magic shops and cast disjunction.

Oh man, that'd be an epic troll

-I am not allowed to use the echos of my instrument off of cave walls to gain sonar, especially since it didn't work the first time.

Not allowed to make a Mime bard.

Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to make it sound like the BBEG farted.

Actually, not allowed near Cantrips period.

>>6737917

And I'm no longer allowed to prepare chain chained light and summon monster spells.

I'm also not allowed more than 2 days time to prepare magical items for open warfare, nor co-ordinate large scale low level magical NPCs to help me create such items. The only thing more devastating that chain chained lighting is chained widened fireball.

I'm not allowed to turn NPCs into adventures.

I'm no longer allowed to make jokes whenever I use Evard's Grasping Tentacles

>>6737908
>-not allowed to be a warforged bard who repeats "rock. warforged rock" every few sentences.

AWESOME. Why would anyone ban that?

Not allowed to convince the entire party to play quintuplets.

We actually did this one time, played quintuplet bards, ah the stories I could tell...

>Necropolitan
How about if me and three others play Necropolitans named Cherry, Vanilla, and Chocolate?

*I am no longer allowed to have ranged weapons and be CN at the same time
*I am no longer allowed to tie multiple random wands together to make a super charged randomized magical bazooka
*I am no longer allowed to pull from the deck of many things (DM said I am either too damn lucky, or I am manipulating the deck)
*I am no longer allowed to have cha above 18
*I am no longer allowed to be alone in a room while I am playing a rouge
*I am no longer allowed to be in heavily crowded areas while I am playing a rogue
*I am no longer allowed within 10ft of the paladin while I am playing a rogue
*I am no longer allowed within 20ft of any recurring NPC while I am playing a rogue
*I am no longer allowed to be in any sort of shop while I am playing a rogue
*I am fairly sure I am about to lose being able to play a rogue

I'm never again allowed to yell "Razzle Dazzle!" when I use that light cantrip

>>6737248
Which system do you use for the one piece games?

posting in epic thread

>>6738084
Magical bazooka is small time! Magical gatling gun is the way to go. Mount it on a tripod in a hallway and UNLEASH THE FURY.

>>6738014
go on...
I'm not allowed to sell the party into slavery.
I'm not allowed to sell single party members into slavery.
I'm not allowed to lay claim to an item I cannot use and rent it to other PCs.

>>6737601

Would definitely like to hear the story

I am no longer allowed to use a rod of wonder.
I am not allowed to permanancy any spell
I am not allowed to be a dwarf in d20 modern
I am not allowed to play a Sister of Battle younger than 18
I am not allowed to use handle animal on insects
I am not allowed to play the Megaman X Storm Eagle theme when my Warden uses Storm Eagle form.
I am never, EVER allowed to play Wikipedius the Wizard ever again.

I'm not allowed to play a CN pixie EVER.

I'm not allowed to play a paladin who rides a bear in spike plate barding.

I'm not allowed to summon my paladin mounts over enemies(see last)

Not allowed to cast Dance of Ruin, preemptively

Not allowed to create dream worlds where all of the PCs die before they get a chance to find out where they are

>>6738284
I forgot that I am no longer allowed to seduce a Sith in the midst of battle, even if I am an intergalactic rock star with godly charisma.

Star Wars
-no longer allowed to convince the entire party to play astromech droids.
-no longer allowed to refer to astromech droids as 'starship buttplugs' or 'buttplugs' or 'bp's' for short
-no longer allowed to play a species that does not breath oxygen
-the above does not allow gills.
-no longer allowed access to the force. ever.
-no longer allowed access to Ysalimiri
-no longer allowed access to knowledge the above exists.
-no longer allowed aboard rebel flagships
-no longer allowed aboard imperial anything
-thermal detonators. no. just no.
-protocol droids have uses besides knowing which culture and/or species women will put out on the first date.
-no the GM does not have to say what they are.
-no longer allowed to betray the rebellion to the empire, resulting in their annihilation, only to sneak explosives into emperor's presence and plunge the entire galaxy into a chaotic civil war from which there is no escape.

Next character is going to be a jawa cyborg specializing in close combat. The robes should hide the upgrades until it is too late.

>>6738284
>I am never, EVER allowed to play Wikipedius the Wizard ever again.
I lol'd so hard at this.

My contribution -
I can no longer use the any of the following words and phrases in any plan or situation- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this party and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all barbarians are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

>>6737239

You're a creepy fuck.

>>6738377

that's from skippy's list, isn't it?

http://skippyslist.com/list/

Star Wars:

I'm no longer allowed to play a Gonk Droid Jedi

DnD:

I'm never allowed to play Bard with Perform (Being Sexy)

I'm not allowed to play a Druid/Ninja that Alters Self to look like a turtle.

>>6738377
>My contribution...

don't you mean

>My blatant theft from skippy's list.

I am no longer allowed to attach a Lasgun to the top of my Bolter and use said Lasgun as a Laser Sight.

>>6738377

Is... is there a *list* you guys are keeping?

ITT

Pic VERY related.

I'm never allowed to play a Cowboy character that Draws wands and spout Clint Eastwood lines.

My character is not allowed to have a 9 foot tall NPC wife with 30+ STR.

I'm no longer allowed to use my actual mage powers in a magic show. (WoD)

PD is faggots.

>>6738475
fucking brilliant.

>>6738510
Jokes on them, I made an arch-mage ability that allowed me to do that very thing. "HEY EVERYBODY, WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?" And then every Guardian of the Veil shits themselves.

No longer allowed to look for lottery ticket numbers when looking through the future with a timecube. (on accident.
Am expected to hand said lottery tickets over to my superiors in Delta Green.
Am expected to take more than one point of sanity damage per adventure. (The dice were on my side for sanity rolls. Everything else was average, but I passed almost every sanity test.)
[character is a physics professor at University of San Diego] Am not allowed to have video recordings of my 'adventures' played when I'm called away by Delta Green.

-My team is not the A-team and I should stop refering to it as such.
-The Wookie is not T-Bacca
-I do not love it when a plan comes together
-I do not have the ability to make "Some kind of Mobile Death Barricade" out of stuff I find laying around a Sith warehouse.

I am not allowed to play a the halfling Wa'yne if i'm only going to say "HWHAT?" and "YEAH-EH?

No longer allowed to shoot arrows at gazebos.

None of my characters may have a southern accent after "Colonel Sanders," the Guardsman acolyte in Dark Heresy. I am also never allowed to charm dragons (I suggested it eat the dwarf in the party. Which it did.)

I am not allowed to make a Bear Warrior simply because of the opportunity to make horrible puns.

I'm never allowed to have explosives, not after the last time the orphanage was destroyed. Even though it wasn't my fault, the orphanage had to be put out somehow, and I figured blasting the dam with an RPG would do the trick.

As a bard, I am not allowed to break into Bittersweet Symphony.

I am no longer allowed to use summoned monsters to kill people in a city with a limited number of visitors per day to make room for my party to enter.

I am no longer allowed to make self-replicating machines

I am simultaneously not allowed to raise animals, or anything that can reproduce

I am also not allowed to warp or change animals to be... von neumann machines.

similarly, I cannot use ghouls to make more ghouls

the DM frowns on such things.

>>6738597

wasn't there a movie, some little guy with a high-pitched voice...

'I don't neeed (guns/knives?) to kill you! I'll KEEEEL you with my bare haaands!"

>>6738611
Sounds like when I blew up our ship with plasma explosives. Ah the look on there faces were utterly priceless. And the GM was amazed I actually went through with it.

>>6738787
Yes, and that scene was bearly tolerable.

>>6738597

Your group must have found that unBEARable.

>>6738807
It was truly a grizzly affair.

Archive this thread

My character's name is not Killface McDeath. He does not ride through the mountains of burning ash on a pitch-black DIRE HORSE. His hands are not strong enough to "crush ten thousand babies' skulls at once." He does not wear a shirt sewn out of the ears of his defeated enemies. He does not scar his own genitals to tally-mark the women he has despoiled. He does not play the harpsichord at a professional level.

>>6738824
Guys, think we can PAWS the puns here? I'd rather not grin and BEAR it.

I'm no longer allowed to create any Warforged character who's battle cry is
10: KILL
20: GOTO 10

I'm not allowed to play a High Elf that is born evil into a good society, becomes a ranger of Lolth, flees to the Underdark, and travels to a Drow city to fit in.

Preemptive: never, ever allowed to take Vicissitude with my Malkavian who has the Giant merit.

Never allowed to be anywhere near Mechanus. I WILL end up breaking it somehow.

My groups are pretty lenient, actually.

>>6738807

well, what movie was it?

I'm not allowed to make a female anything. PC, NPC, DMPC, monster. Apparently, RP'ing any kind of female for anything is gay in my group, and grounds for a DM-smack.

Avenger or Warden, I forget, is banned from our group because two of the three DM's got tired of one player always picking it. The third DM uses 95% RP, so it never comes up.

Im not allowed to bring Tequila in place of snacks for the group

Im not allowed to play straight up fighters. I did silly shit like making a fighter based around unarmed strike and grapple that turned out more effective in combat than a monk.

Im not allowed to make worship dieties outside of ones presented in 3.5 books. No more Cleric of Cthulhu or Paladin of Ganesh...darn.

Just because Im a Paladin in a group of Evil characters does not give me the right, excuse or pardon by any NPC authority to kill them

I am not allowed to play a Dwarven Cleric any more.

Reasons include the fact that this character has destroyed half a town and attempted to kill a Dread Necromancer.

>>6739469
Also after playing a Marshall and taking the Leadership feat I am not allowed to combine those two. Especially when combined with a small village and alot of gold

"I cast fireball"
"I sneak attack"
"I command my battalion of conscripts to rush the necromancer head on"

Bumping awesome, by the way.

I am not allowed to say "(insert monster name), I choose you!" every time I cast Summon Monster X.

I can not have acid. suicide hugging the BBEG when I meet him is wrong.

my penis is not another magic ring slot.


in modren settings I can not ask /b/ what to do on whim

If I must swallow items to hide them, I have to keep track of how much i swallowed

(I got to about 500GP and several pounds worth of equipment before the GM noticed)

I cannot make deals with Slaaneshi demons any more.

I am no longer allowed to tie the party together with rope when we are about to enter a mist and monster filled mazelike dungeon.

No one can play an Ewok.

Droids can't have flame emitters.

Wedge will FUCKING KILL YOU.

Stormtrooper rifles have a switch labeled "Hit/Miss".

A thermal detonator is a small nuclear demolitions device, not a grenade that does extra damage, the video games are lying to you.

Every radio plays Johnny Cash.

Tatooine is off limits.

You can put the word 'space' in front of things if you're not familiar with the lore i.e. Space-Nam.

>>6740344
No one can play a gungan.

No one can be the secret sith apprentice.

No, you did not grow up on Tantooine.

No, you aren't the long lost daughter of Kyle Kataarn.

>>6740344
However, they do not know which setting is which.

>>6740344

>Wedge will FUCKING KILL YOU.

Should add Wes, Porkins, Tycho and Hobbie as well.

I may not use Russian accents.

Not all of my rogues/scums can be named the Artful Dodger. And no, the bbeg from my past is not known as Fagin the Jew.

>>6740395
In our universe, Wedge emits an aura that kills stormtroopers. Instantly, no save, just dead.

/tg/ has a terrible sense of humor.

>>6740523

lol

I am not allowed to torture enemies for information.

Yes, water-boarding is torture.

No, I can not punch the god of injustice in the junk.

Even if it is suitably ironic.

I cannot make charms to burn fire aspects, no matter how funny it would be.

I am not allowed to mention cannibalism in any game after the "candyland" incident.

>>6737908 -not allowed to be a warforged bard who repeats "rock. warforged rock" every few sentences.

Whoever banned that is a dickbag.

I'm not allowed to play an awakened grizzly bear druid with lycanthropy so that I'm a werebear with leadership, and gain familiar to have a bear familiar, a bear animal companion, a bunch of awakened bear or werebear cohorts, and use spells and handle animal to field a bearpocalypse.

Especially if my cohorts also take leadership.

Wait a sec, are these for real? This thread is a long list of stupid shit that nobody should try and pull.

>>6740767

Mine is real. I can't vouch for the other ideas though.

>>6738411
Gonk goes in all fields.

>>6740767
All of the stuff I've posted I've either done, or proposed to the DM and had it immediately shot down.

>>6740744

That is fucking rediculous.

Not allowed to use rules for HADOKEN in 3.5

>>6740809

>rediculous

>>6740767
Probably about half and half. You'd be surprised what kind of shit people pull.

>>6740809

One might also call it ridiculous

I'm not allowed to spend my gold on 400 domestic cats with plate barding pulling a chariot.

>>6740844

>>6740744
BEARSTORM.

I'm not allowed to convince the DM to bump the game up to level 2 for the sole purpose of free mundane equipment.

>>6740856
That's kinda awesome, actually. Is there a table somewhere showing how much weight a creature can pull, with an entry for cats?

>>6740744
O(n^n) bears?

>>6741067
Drag weight is 5x your overhead carry weight (the one dictated by strength).

...which means for a cat that's 30x5 = 150lbs. Holy shit that's a strong cat.

>>6741178
You forget, it's alos modified bvy size category. Cat's are tiny, so it's 1/8th of 150.

>>6741178
...you made adjustments for the fact it's Tiny, right?

>>6740870

That's exactly why the group banned me from doing it. It only takes someone to get a whole bunch of level 1 commoners as cohorts and then bite them all to give them lycanthropy.

That shit's pretty fucking awesome.

>>6737339
Kevin?

bump for posterity

>>6741202
>>6741205
Ah, I knew I was missing something. So a little under 20, that's a bit more reasonable.

ARCHIVE

I am no longer allowed to play psykers in Dark Heresy
I am no longer allowed to play Techpriests in Dark heresy
I am no longer allowed to play a scum and set up a criminal empire powerful enough to take on the arbites and PDF vie drug running and prostitution in Dark heresy
I am no longer allowed to carry a man-portable lascannon, accessories or no.
I am no longer allowed to us promethium tanks to create fuel air explosions larger than the continent.
I do not get experience for every individual in a hive city.
I do not get experience for killing party members. Even if I have a good reason.
I never have a good reason to kill party members.
I am no longer allowed to hire other people to do all the investigating.
I am no longer allowed to spraypaint the Inquisitorial Seal on anything.

There's a load more, I just don't have The List on me.

>>6741482
>I do not get experience for killing party members. Even if I have a good reason.
Lame.

>>6741482
>>I am no longer allowed to us promethium tanks to create fuel air explosions larger than the continent.
Why did you try to do that?

>>6741519
Too many heretics, not enough time.

>>6741542
I am not allowed to DM in Dark Heresy any more, because my players always end up using solutions like this and there's no campaign any more.

I no longer am allowed to sell any elven character into slavery.
I am no longer allowed into elven forests with anything that can start a fire. (Bitches forgot I have maxed out survival...)
I am no longer allowed to play Techpriests, based upon grounds of upgrading unwilling party members by knocking them via high voltage
I am no longer allowed to use flamers before I have skill in them.
I am no longer allowed to play elves, because I play cannablistic woodland defenders who use wood and bone for weapons. Not to mention dipping them in my feces before battle.
I am no longer allowed to play psychers. The dice seem to love nines when I do.

>>6740937

lol. When I started my first 2nd Level 4e character, I took every single skill-boosting mundane item in the books. My group loved me for it.

Oh, and I am no longer allowed to use meltabombs as close combat weapons.

>>6738560
you were thinking lil john, but good effort

- Fire does not have an armor class, nor hit points, no matter how often I try to "attack" it.

- The animals I pull out of my bag of tricks are not trainable, regardless of how many ranks in Handle Animal I have.

- For that matter, encouraging my warhorse to "mount" the party's other horses is right out. Starting a horse breeding business is not a valid excuse.

- While technically not disallowed, singing "The Bear Song" is not an appropriate battle cry.

I am no longer allowed to spend all my points in contacts and call in favors from the High Lords of Terra, the Grey Knights, the Officio Assasinorum, my own Inquisitor, the Imperial Guard, the Imperial Navy, the Adeptus Astartes, the Sisters of Battle, the Adeptus Arbites, or the planetary governor.
I am not authorized to set up the Pimpquisition.
I am no longer allowed to play a half-ogryn
I am no longer allowed to take +3 Pedophilia (okay this was another player and there's a long story behind it but still)
I am no longer allowed to make the Mastergun
I am no longer allowed to take Thrown Weapon (Force) or (Power)
I am no longer allowed to have a willpower above 40
I am no longer allowed to set up booby-traps in the ship that I don't tell the rest of the party about
I am no longer allowed to open the entire space hulk to vacuum and pick up the valuable stuff later.
I shall never again attempt to convince a Slaaneshi Daemon that the Emperor was the greatest Keeper of Secrets of all time.

Just because Invokers are incapable of changing alignment doesn't mean that my lawful good Invoker is allowed to enslave children.

I'm never again allowed to join a party with a character 3 times the level of the other players and either enslave or kill them in the first 20 minutes after the game starts.

I am not allowed to demand the king give me his magical intercom system before agreeing to work for him.

This still applies even if that magical intercom system would have indeed been lifesaving fifteen minutes later.

I am no longer allowed to take leadership and recruit solely spellcasting followers.
Especially if all they are going to do is cast magic missile in the first round of combat.
Extra especially if several scrolls of target dispel magic are used first to pop the shield spell.

>>6741561
Your wood elf concept is stolen

Oh- I am no longer allowed to have my only weapons grenades and rockets (Shadowrun)

I am no longer allowed to attach twenty lightsabers and an extra-strong shield on the stolen droideka so it can ball up, shield up, and roll over everything like a lightsaber-spiked deathball.

I cannot become addicted to Bullywug slaying.

i am not aloud to be an Alchemist Savant if i insist on having alcohol as a signature ingredient in my universal potions.

>>6741799

What book is this from?

I am no longer to claim that my samurai paradin's arignment is rofl good.

I am no longer allowed to play multiclass bard/barbarians with Weapon Focus (Spiked Mandolin)

I also can't claim that my bardbarian invented death metal.

I am no longer allowed to use multiple tenser's floating discs, mage hand, and a length of rope to make my own personal train.

I'm not allowed to add random shit to my sentance (such as "purple monkey dishwater")
I'm not allowed to have anything random unless I can explain what it is for. (such as asking for a 1000 yards of string, a roll of duct tape, and a rubber duck)
Shooting NPCs first is not acceptable, and never will be. This is doubly so for ones that are required for the story to progress.
I am not, and never will be the avatar of sweet, sexy justice.
I may not play a gnome or dwarf or anything else short race. This is now set to: I must have all characters approved by the GM.
I may not taunt the power gamer. I may not mess with the power gamer. I may not make the power gamer cry.
Killing the other PCs is not allowed with out good reason. Because they did ANYTHING out of session is not a good reason. I may not kill them at the start of the session either.
I may not come to the game without pants. I may not come to the game with out shirt. I must be fully clothed when I arrive and must take those clothes with me when I leave. On my body. I am not allowed to take off my clothes while there either.

i am no longer allowed to set the barbarian on fire while hes fighting a troll

I may not make a warforged out of a dildo

>>6742206

I assume you are also not allowed to partially remove clothing so your junk/nipples/anus is exposed?

HOW DO YOU POOP?

>>6742308
Colostomy bag would be my first guess.

I am no longer allowed to play a mage with high strength.

>>6742321

They require a hole to be bored through a spot that is not your anus to function. That is literally part of the description.

-I may no longer use my underaged elf to seduce the dwarven paladin. Or the gnome bard. Or the halfling rogue.

-Atomic wedgies may NOT be given to ogres when you're four feet tall, even when magically assisted.

-Tenser's Floating Dick may not be used to block a spells verbal componentsn nor to force a concentration check.

-'Wild magic' is not my trainer attempting to hit on me.

-'I castrate it' is not an acceptable solution to every encounter.

>>6742308
I have to leave and come back.

>>6742330
I know, and he would simply get a shirt with a hole in it in order to comply with his group's rulings.

Man, the things we do for our hobby.

i am not allowed to make a robot maid with battle ship class cannons, or a character who's power is that he owns a giant battleship.

i am not allowed to make a character with an infinite wealth score, and i am not allowed to make a character in d20 Past that builds a computer into a zeppelin and then uses it as a laptop.

If I have the spells 'Grease', 'Mount', and 'Rope Trick' listed in my spellbook, they must be the PHB versions of those spells.

I am not allowed to summon more than 4 celestial dire badgers per encounter.

"Stop: hammertime" is not a valid battlecry, even if my character's last name is Hammer.

I am not allowed to create a magical AI.
The same goes for mecha, submarines, and armored vehicles.

No longer allowed to combine ninja, monk, and sorcerer in a single character, take a toad familiar, and run around shouting "BELIEVE IT!"

All while playing the fallen angel Lucifer (Who in game was different to Satan, long story):
-I am no longer to turn into my full demonic form in elevators.
-I cannot burn down the BBEG's house with hellfire from 3 miles up in the air.
-I cannot challenge anyone to a rock off ever again...
-Not even another devil, even if the devil himself and the fallen angel Lucifer having a guitar off over London at Midnight while they burn as bright as day and people look on in awe, is awesome beyond all logic.
-I am not to reffer to myself as DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDER! while on my Motorbike.
-When the other PCs don't know who I am, I am not to say to them 'I'm a rouge and a vagabond, a freedom fighter and a six gun slinger and when the time calls for it, the devil himself.' and then laugh my ass off when he says "Yes, well I have enough money to take the devil himself to court."
-I shall not spend the entire RP claiming there is infact a demon code, with strict rule of what I can and can't do, when there isn't and at the last moment when they bring in all their knowledge of the demon code to try and prevent me from taking over the world, say, in character "Lol-no, HELLFIAH!!!" And blast them all for 10D20 damage.

That character was so damn fun.

(DH)
I am no longer allowed to pump random animals and bystanders full of spook in an attempt to turn them into walking perils of the warp time bombs.

I am no longer allowed to attack bayonets flamer units (or any other weapon) in an attempt to make them usable by an assassin with an aversion to non-bladed weapons.

I can not attach more blades to a bladed weapon to make it blade-ier for similar reason as above.

I can not make servitors carry and use all my ranged weapons. see above.

I am not allowed to ride chainswords into combat like powered rollerblades.

I am not allowed pyrokinetics anymore. (was uttered by the GM after the phrase "vissible from space")

and last.

Demon hosts are never to be created intentionaly for the purpose of effective collateral damage.

I am not allowed to shout random action movie quotes in DH, even if the situation calls for it.

No longer allowed to crossclass a bard with anything.

No longer allowed the use of double weapons.

Was not allowed to start off a game as a Dragon Disciple of Falcor.

No longer allowed to have more than 10 ranks in the disguise skill.

When playing a Candlekeep scholar I am not to make Candlekeep the first bastion of human cooperation with Lizardfolk, werecreatures, Goblionids, Liches and other usual social Pariah races because they helped us free it from demons (To be fair I made them all geas promise not to harm anyone first, to work towards the betterment of all and made sure they were all good guys first. Shit was so awesome.

I'm not allowed to play DnD anymore

>>6742688
sounds pretty gay bro.

not allowed to be alone in a room with a little boy anymore

I am no longer allowed to take "Time Sense" In Vampire the masquerade and constantly ask for the exact time down to the second.

I am not to play a high level repeating villian in a supers RP and after being beaten several times, give up villiany and become a normal working Joe by buying a small electrics company (When I was known for my Robot themed villany...And my small buiness was run out of my old EVIL LAIR with my old killer robots now programmed to repair watches and make tea for customers) and working hard, only to have the heroes not belive I have turned good and stalk me driving me back to the side of evil.
They felt very guilty for that...Which was awesome.
The best part was when I opened the door, clad in my EVIL ARMOUR holding a strange device which emitted ominous noises which turned out to be a custom built MP3 which a guy wanted as a birthday present for his wife.

I cannot deliberately turn myself into a daemonhost, even a thrice-bound one. No, it doesn't matter how radical our Inquisitor is.

>>6742688
>"Yes, well I have enough money to take the devil himself to court."
Vaguely related; did you know someone tried this? He sued 'Lucifer, aka Satan, aka the Devil, aka [...]" for "willfully and intentionally placing obstacles in my life which led to my downfall". The court dismissed his case with two very good arguments:
1) He failed to provide an address to which court documents could be delivered to the defendant, and my favorite,
2) The defendant's status as "a foreign prince" exempted him from civil prosecution.

>>6743229
I am going to mention that in character at some point if we ever do a continuation now...

>>6743142
Playing the fallen angel Lucifer as a charming, Bombastic, dance on a razor blades edge type was one of the most enjoyable characters I've ever played. Each to their own I guess though.

>>6743264
Definitely gay, bro.

>2) The defendant's status as "a foreign prince" exempted him from civil prosecution.

EPIC

I can't take peasants with me to use them as decoy for traps

I can't teach old grannies on wheelchair how to fly anymore ;_;


And if we try to play a serious campaign I can't do the paladin.

Not allowed to play a paladin with an Irish accent.

No longer allowed to play a paladin with Wis lower than ten.

No longer allowed to play lawful Evil Monks.

May not rally townsfolk to undertake a mega-project that would be daunting in this day and age, particularly if it involves changing the map.

I still say we could have moved that lake.

Never again allowed to play a werebadger.

bump

If anything makes me giggle for more than a minute, I'm not allowed to have it.

>>6744370
HURR IMMA STEAL FROM SKIPPY'S LIST

If I have to ask my DM if I can buy five or more items for the plan to work, I'm not allowed to do it.
(This came about after I asked the DM for a few hundred feet of rope, a number of logs, a crown of brilliance or whatever that magic item is with all the magic gems that do fiery-things, alchemical fire, fireball beads, and an engineer with at least seven ranks in know (arch and engineering).)

If it bleeds, I can kill it. If it can't bleed, I can probably kill it. If it's a god, I can't kill it, even if it bleeds.

They banned me from making laconic, alcoholic minimum-intelligence/wisdom guitar bards with very pointy hairdos and shoes after the last one succeeded in forming a background choir out of a band of orcs he fascinated.

Ah, those were the days...

Not allowed to not use my jump pack at least once in every scene.

no one in my current game is allowed to try and get laid. even in offhand comments. we'll be stabbed. Also, not the DM's rule.

I am never again to claim that one of the uses of Miracle is 'Summoning the Electric Kung-Fu Jesus to aid us in our time of need'
Never again.

>>6744671
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm0iQz24Aac

I'm not allowed to make my fruits magical.

I'm not allowed to take weapon focus: Lute.

>>6744838
The character itself was more on the lines of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd5KWveH1RE&feature=related

That is, more apathetic retarded than awesome.

My bard is NOT spoony. Even if I checked.

>>6737088
No more lolis PCs or familiars for me.

-I am not allowed to dance on the fucking fence
-I am not allowed to play drunken homosexual
-Im not allowed to get any

Not that I've played that much, but I can't think I would ever do something to get me, or a particular trick I used, banned from a game. How do you guys do it?

>>6745159
Any trick that ass-rapes party balance or derails the game, either in character (a 3 hour discussion on the ramifications of Bob's bard sleeping with the queen and her daughters on the eve of battle) or out of character (a long discussion of nachos brought on by Bob's bard's build)

>>6745206
is just waiting to get banned.

Don't know why that last part wasn't included hurrdurr i'm a faggot

No longer allowed to impersonate Horatio Caine.

>>6745220
YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

>>6744999
>>6744838
>>6744671
wat wat wat wat wat
What the fuck am I listening to? Bizarro space beatles?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd5KWveH1RE&feature=related

>>6741654
Mastergun?

>>6741482
>I do not get experience for every individual in a hive city.
I giggled uncontrollably.

>cast light on sorcerer's hat
>so... are you feeling LIGHT HEADED?!?!?
I'm not allowed to make puns anymore

I'm never allowed to play a barbarian gnome ever again.

...It seemed like a good idea at the time, I swear.

I am no longer allowed to utter the phrase "Quentin Terentino Hijack"
My character's personality can never again be 'Jack Sparrow, but crazier"
I am not allowed to single handedly declare war on 'normality'
'Resevior Dogs Hijack' is still a 'Terentino-jack'
I am not allowed to convince the party that solving a question in my backstory is more important than the DM's plot.

Star Wars:
-no longer allowed to use force powers
-no longer allowed to take every knowledge skill in the game and a talent that lets me take one trained knowledge skill check per minute as a natural 20

D20 Future:
-No longer allowed to start with so much money that at lvl 1 I buy a fully armed black hawk helicopter
-No longer allowed to take the history path which never lets my money fall below what is required to buy c4
-No longer allowed to send out said infinite C4 by mail and watch the havoc ensue.

D&D:
-No longer allowed to take as my divine title "the" to get vision over the entire material plane
-No longer allowed to play psions
-No longer allowed to use bags of holding inside portable holes for anything other than item destruction.
-"lost forever in the astral plane" Does not suggest that my phylactary will be safe for all eternity as no one can possibly find it.
-can no longer play 2 gnome bards each at half the party level with disguise, one with balance and one with ride, dressed as one medium sized creature.

I'm no longer allowed to take Mordenkainens Disjunction as a spell. You break one too many artifacts and suddenly everyone hates the wizard.

I am forbidden from spending the party funds to make unicorn shotguns.

I am forbidden from even mentioning unicorn shotguns.

>>6745341
>-can no longer play 2 gnome bards each at half the party level with disguise, one with balance and one with ride, dressed as one medium sized creature.

I chuckled at that.

>>6745359

Melf's Unicorn Arrow is a perfectly valid spell.

>-can no longer play 2 gnome bards each at half the party level with disguise, one with balance and one with ride, dressed as one medium sized creature.
EPIC

>>6738284
>I am never, EVER allowed to play Wikipedius the Wizard ever again.

Goddammit I love you so much /tg/

>>6745370
In my DM's defense, it's because I convinced the entire party what an awesome idea unicorn shotguns would be and got them to pony up the cash to make a set.

Suddnely WHOOPS WHERE IS OUR WEALTH BY LEVEL

I'm no longer allowed to make a grandfather's clock warforged, because it's apparently not CLOBBERING TIME.

I am not allowed to put windows of escape on the side of my airship and leap out of them in the morning without informing my crew that they're magical, thus leading them to believe I'm an incarnation of a god.

I am not allowed to coat my airship in adamantine and stand at the prow screaming "HELMSMAN! ACCELERATE TO RAMMING SPEED!"

I'm not allowed to own an airship, period.

I'm not allowed to hire a kobold mercenary who ends up being a drunken gambler, not because it's a bad idea, but because his hijinks detract from the actual campaign.

"He did WHAT?" Me
"Bought a dinosaur." Party's Rogue
"YESSIR, THAT I DID. *hic*" 'Charak'
"HOW did you get it in the crow's nest?" Me
"Hey, man, like, *hic* there's a million things we *hic* din't understand. Like, magic. That's weird. You ever think of that?" Charak

>>6745351

>>I'm no longer allowed to take Mordenkainens Disjunction as a spell. You break one too many artifacts and suddenly everyone hates the wizard.

Why does nobody read the spell description? To break a magic item there's a 1% chance. People always claim that it's a supar powarful mage ability, but it's litterally 1%.

Not that good.

I am not allowed to use the Medicine skill on un-injured PCs or NPCs.

I am no longer allowed to use my solid brass D20 when resolving inter-party conflict.

I am no longer allowed to play Chinese bootleg artificial intelligences.

I am no longer allowed to cast the spell 'Slime Wave.'

I am no longer allowed to use live ammunition as proxies for miniatures.

I am no longer allowed to have a character say any variation of "I DO COCAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINE," wear "Special Leather," or display any other Dethklok reference.

>>6745414
Only if it's an artifact, and it's 1% per caster level.

> All magical effects and magic items within the radius of the spell, except for those that you carry or touch, are disjoined. That is, spells and spell-like effects are separated into their individual components (ending the effect as a dispel magic spell does), and each permanent magic item must make a successful Will save or be turned into a normal item. An item in a creature’s possession uses its own Will save bonus or its possessor’s Will save bonus, whichever is higher.

You also have a 1% chance per caster level of destroying an antimagic field. If the antimagic field survives the disjunction, no items within it are disjoined.

Even artifacts are subject to disjunction, though there is only a 1% chance per caster level of actually affecting such powerful items. Additionally, if an artifact is destroyed, you must make a DC 25 Will save or permanently lose all spellcasting abilities. (These abilities cannot be recovered by mortal magic, not even miracle or wish.)

Note: Destroying artifacts is a dangerous business, and it is 95% likely to attract the attention of some powerful being who has an interest in or connection with the device.

>>6745419

>Chinese bootleg artificial intelligences

Found my next character. Thank you!

>>6745414
1% per caster level, bro. And it has a chance to screw up artifacts.

I'm not allowed to play a Vow of Poverty/Peace/Nonviolence monk and stand in front of a wave of goblins as their weapons break saying 'Are we quite done, here?'

I'm also not allowed to do this because my DM declared that the barbarian attacking me bare-fisted incurred the Fort save, and he broke his hand, thus causing me to 'fall'.

I'm not subsequently allowed to play a 'fallen' monk as a lone wanderer in the night, jumping from rooftops and beating up muggers, claiming 'I am vengeance. I am the night. I am batman.'

I am not a Cleric of Rock and Roll.

>>6741583
>You were thinking Lil John
GODDAMN IT, either way the party vetoed it from the get-go.

In fact, most my character proposals are met with the question, "Is there a bad pun behind this?". Was the awakened bear monk really that bad?

Not allowed to push any NPC down some stairs if they even mildly act in a way I don't like

Not even if they're the BBEG

Not allowed to push any PC down some stairs if they even mildly act in a way I don't like.

Not even if the guy controlling him/her has fallen asleep on my arm

Not allowed near any stairs. (I'm serious, this is now a recurring homebrew rule)

Not allowed to summon anything ever again.

Not allowed to play chaotic good.

Not allowed to play chaotic anything.

No longer allowed to speak solely in Dragonforce lyrics.

Or Rammstein

No longer allowed to put bounties on the heads of my party.

No longer allowed to tell any PC or NPC that I'm smarter than they are because my Wisdom is huge.

Not allowed to tell the DM that I'm smarter than him because my chair is made of metal and his is plastic.

Not allowed to claim to be smarter than anyone.

Not allowed to play Dire Rat when DM's older Sister plays with us.

Not allowed to play Dire anything when DM's older Sister plays with us.

Not allowed to play Dire anything ever.

I could go on.

I am not allowed to use "Lightning Lure" to pull my party members out of danger.

I am not allowed to roll bluff checks to convince the skill challenge that I actually know something about religion.

I am not allowed to do a urination check to extinguish the burning buildings.

I am not allowed to get upset when the BBEG targets me for the entire fight after I laugh at his ridiculous hat.

>>6747004
>I am not allowed to roll bluff checks to convince the skill challenge that I actually know something about religion.

I giggled.

I am not allowed to research any variation upon "Evard's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion".

I cannot make constructs out of gazebos and use them to destroy the rest of the party. Nor can I awaken one and turn it into a repository of all knowledge.

In fact, gazebos are right out.

I cannot complain about the lack of good tea when playing in a Star Wars campaign, nor am I allowed to take "towel" as part of my gear.

I am not allowed to use cargo vehicles as impromptu bombardment tools.

I cannot play a druid and tell the rust monsters that platemail-armored paladins are friends, not food.

Not allowed to animate a castle and the DM doesn't care if I have the appropriate sorcery levels to do it.

Not allowed to acquire a legion of slaves to carry a castle around with me in it

Not allowed to cast weight-reducing spells on a castle and carry it myself.