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  • File : 1257377611.jpg-(45 KB, 402x418, inquisitorblackwidow.jpg)
    45 KB Inquisition Quest Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:33 No.6569833  
    You are a newly appointed Imperial Inquisitor of the Ordo Hereticus. You were given this position after your master, Inquisitor Girugamesh (shown in pic) disappeared while on the search for HERESY. It is up to you, a novice in the Inquisitorial trade to fill his large, power armored shoes.

    You are currently sitting in a meditation chamber within the Inquisitorial compound located on Thracian Primaris.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:34 No.6569843
    I must eliminate weakness from my flesh!

    I would like to tear off my penis.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:35 No.6569854

    No, don't do this. Obviously Chaos is trying to sway us! Instead, find an attractive female Acolyte and show her the truth of the Emperor's love - in the dark, in the missionary position. This is how we fight Slaanesh!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:42 No.6569901
    A number of thoughts flash through your head, the first a violent urge to purge your flesh of impurity, and the other to give yourself over to lusts and inevitably fall to the ways of Slaanesh. You don't think either are a good idea right now.

    Especially because the meditation has made you groggy, and you are having a hard time even remembering your name.

    -- INPUT NAME --

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:45 No.6569935

    no you cannot fuck an attractive acolyte. that would be gratification and yielding to desire.

    you must have sex with an unattractive woman in the missionary position solely for procreation to add population to the emperor's armies
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:47 No.6569947
    Oh, I get it. This is going to be one of those linear quests where we don't get to do what we want. Sage.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:47 No.6569949

    Inquisitor Numbnuts

    Command: find a superior. find an assignment, then recruit a posse
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)18:52 No.6569992

    Ahh, now you remember. Your name is Numbnuts, well INQUISITOR Numbnuts now.

    You stand up and immediately seek out your superior; Lord Inquisitor Targus. You proceed through many dark hallways and finally reach his sanctum. The guard outside the door stops you as you approach.

    "The Lord Inquisitor is currently entertaining guests and has requested privacy" he says. Screams from behind the door seem to underline his point.

    >> godhanger !!yMNj76GFmw9 11/04/09(Wed)19:04 No.6570112
    lol i like where this is going.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:09 No.6570185
    It wont be going anywhere if no one posts commands!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:13 No.6570238
    say frak you and kick open the door.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:15 No.6570269
    Contact Inquisitor Eisenhorn or Ravenor, and have a well written story by being associated with them
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:19 No.6570314

    You yell "FRAK YOU!" at the guard and kick at the door with all your might. You are rewarded with a crunching noise as some of the bones in your foot break. It turns out kicking a reinforced blast door protected by void shielding was not the best idea.

    The guard stifles a laugh and says "Need help sir? I can call a servitor to take you to the apothecary."

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:21 No.6570352
    mutter no and wobble to the apothecary, no adventuring for me today.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:22 No.6570361
    I am amused by this.... go to the med-bay.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:24 No.6570386
    No, and if you keep smirking, if you so much as breath wrong in my presence again, i will have someone from the medbay turn you into a servitor!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:25 No.6570396
    attempt to strangle the guard for his insolense, all while hopping on one foot.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:27 No.6570422
    Here; on second thought, I like this idea.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:30 No.6570451

    You politely tell the soldier that you can make it to the Apothecarium yourself and proceed there limping badly.

    Your foot seems to be swelling up pretty badly. In retrospect, it wasn't such a good idea kicking something that can withstand a direct meltabomb blast.

    You arrive at the Apothecarium with a terrible headache to go with the pain in your foot. An orderly walks up to you as you sit down on a cot and says "Greetings Inquisitor Numbnuts, had a little accident have we?"

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:34 No.6570506

    >> Rick Rape !wUaaKKdfXw 11/04/09(Wed)19:38 No.6570551

    call him a faget and take off your clothes
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:43 No.6570594

    You round on the orderly and scream into his face "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!". The orderly is unphased and a confused expression passes over his face for a moment. He then replies, "Just your name, sir... you know, your name? Which is Inquisitor Numbnuts..."

    "Whatever, faggot." You reply, as you remove your boots, socks and pants to fully reveal your swollen, blood engorged, and slightly purple... foot.

    The orderly calls over a medical servitor and together they examine your injury.

    >> Rick Rape !wUaaKKdfXw 11/04/09(Wed)19:47 No.6570641

    shake my foot away from them and tell them i'm fine
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:47 No.6570642
    mutter something under your breath about his mothers sexual tendencies.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:48 No.6570647
    Scream END SIMULATION! and start to fap furiusly staring at the eyes of the that is healing you servitor, yelling at the same time LOOK, LOOK IT YOU HERETICAL MACHINEMANSOMETHING
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:53 No.6570708

    You shake your foot to move it away from the orderly and servitor while muttering "fucking faggot and his faggot mother."

    The orderly pays you no heed, and reads his data-slate containing the servitor's diagnosis. He then says "Good news sir, it's nothing serious, just a couple broken toes, nothing that will require augmentics or anything. I can administer the treatment and have you back on your feet good as new in a couple of days."

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:54 No.6570712

    Will op deliver.... dont HNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG us
    >> Russian Decepticon 11/04/09(Wed)19:54 No.6570717
    Tell the orderly that by treating my injury fast and efficient he will earn right to hide under my bed next time when when this crazy guy from Internal Investigations will stars shooting random "heretics".
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:56 No.6570737
    Wait a couple of days and then sign an inquisitorial order to have inquisitor lord targus' door removed when he is away.
    >> Captain Failmore Canned Goods Adventurer 11/04/09(Wed)19:57 No.6570747
         File1257382637.png-(71 KB, 1072x686, PAULDRONIUS.png)
    71 KB
    >> Thou Dog 11/04/09(Wed)19:58 No.6570763
    Get toes taped, eat a few aspirin, go back to Targus's room and try to figure out how to get inside.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)19:59 No.6570774
    I apply for transfer to ordo xenos, so that I may make it to hot ali- I mean crush hot alien bitches in the emperors name...with my dick.

    Now just 23 years till my paperwork is done.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:01 No.6570798
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:05 No.6570835

    You tell the orderly to get on with it and he has the medical servitor gives you a quick anti-inflammatory shot, some additional pain killers and tapes your toes to a splint.

    With the procedure complete, you thank the orderly and leave for your chambers. When you arrive, you sit down on your bed and silently resolve to have Lord Targus's door removed when he leaves for one of his regular HERESY hunts.

    Now you are pretty much back to square one you think, what now?

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:10 No.6570879

    See what we can do about requisitioning a baneblade to purge xenos with.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:10 No.6570881
    This lack of hunt of HERESY is heretical
    We go hunt HERESY
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:12 No.6570924
    go down the street to buy an inquisitorial bagle. Check for HERESY along the way.
    >> Russian Decepticon 11/04/09(Wed)20:15 No.6570952
    Arm myself and check Lord Targus's chambers for HERESY
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:17 No.6570973
    begin searching for PILLS
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:18 No.6570989
    our name is numbnuts not nigger. thats nigger work.

    heresy huntin time! lynch some nigger heretics.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:19 No.6571003

    With your foot in a splint you can walk reasonably well, you decide to venture out on the street to search for HERESY and a good bagel.

    You venture through a myriad of security checks before emerging out of the secret entrance to the Inquisitorial Compound. You find yourself in a sleepy little imperial village. With the entrance to the compound at your back, you can travel North, East, or West down the streets.

    There sounds to be a lot of commotion coming from the East.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:20 No.6571019

    Go west

    I still want my fucking baneblade
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:22 No.6571036

    Then turn around and go east, drawing my bolt pistol.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:22 No.6571039
    Commotion is HERESY! Purge to east!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:23 No.6571044

    ok, I get it, railroad quest pt 17

    have to go with the sagefags here
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:23 No.6571051

    So that means the east sounds normal. THE WEST IS SUSPICIOUS. CHARGE WEST
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:24 No.6571061
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:25 No.6571067
    realize I left my bolt pistol in my other pants. run west to attempt to find a pitchfork or something to defend myself with.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:26 No.6571085
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:26 No.6571086

    if we can't find a pitchfork, a baneblade will do
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:27 No.6571093
    Go to nearest kebab house and shoot the sandnigger for worshipping false gods and obvious HERESY... only after forcing him - at gunpoint - to make yourself a delicious kebab
    >> Russian Decepticon 11/04/09(Wed)20:28 No.6571106
    Commotion? That's Chaos stuff.
    Take out my vox, call to nearest Ordo Malleus unit, inform them of possible mass daemoic possession. Than venture to in the direction of bakery.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:33 No.6571160

    You go west, in search of bagels and baneblades. Realizing fairly quickly that you did not bring any weapon, and no identification save your ever present Inquisitorial Rosette. You do have you implanted microbead vox, however.

    While you walk down the street, you see groups of people talking excitedly and running east. You ignore them and continue west until you find a nice looking bakery named "Bread and Prayers".

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:35 No.6571186

    This sounds like a nice emperor-fearing shop to get some lunch at

    Go inside
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:35 No.6571190
    I walk inside and order an astartes special and sit quietly by the window, keeping an eye on the street.
    >> Russian Decepticon 11/04/09(Wed)20:39 No.6571217
    Walk in and and order a bagel.
    While i wait for it, make that call to Ordo Malleus about possible mass possession.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:40 No.6571223
    ask the baker if they have discovered any heresy lately. Also demand to inspect their flour for weevils.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:41 No.6571237
    I walk inside, go to the cashier and ask for a Bagel with bologna and a Beersarius to go with the bagel.
    I ask for it to go and walk outside
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:48 No.6571297

    This bakery seems to meet your Inquisitorial standards. You walk inside, and look at their specials. It seems they don't have an Astartes special, although they do have a Candlemas special where you get a reduced price on a dozen bagels.

    The bagel monger behind the counter eyes you intently, obviously wanting your order. You decide to let him wait and tap your microbead vox and call in a disturbance east of the Compound's secret entrance. There is no response.

    The bagel monger looks at you as if you are crazy, and with good reason, as it looks to him as if you were just talking to yourself. He asks "Can I help you?"

    >> Russian Decepticon 11/04/09(Wed)20:50 No.6571315
    Order the effin' bagel.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)20:53 No.6571342
    attempt to contact the inquisitorial tech support to find out what is wrong with your connection to the compound. munch on my bagle.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:04 No.6571470

    You tell the bagel monger you want a bagel. "Yessir, that'll be 2 credits." he says.

    You then realize that you aren't carrying any money. With the bagel already in your mouth, and it's supple puffy baked goodness satiating your bagel lust, its too late to go back.

    You pat down your pockets quickly and shrug at the bagel monger. He eyes you suspiciously suspecting that something is up.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:05 No.6571482
    Just flash your Rosette and inform him that you've just tested his shop for bagel-heresy, and am SO FAR, content. Then finish your bagel.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:06 No.6571490
    declare him a heretic and have him executed.
    feel glad you saved yourself 2 credits and a possible chaos worshipper got what he deserved
    >> Russian Decepticon 11/04/09(Wed)21:13 No.6571580
    Swallow the part of th bagel I bit off.
    Tell bagel monger to put it on the Inquisition tab.
    Return to compound for my ID, gun and rest of the stuff.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:17 No.6571629

    You flash your Rosette and say "REJOICE CITIZEN I have tested your bagel shop for HERESY and not found it wanting. You have gained my seal of approval for both deliciousness and purity." You then slam your Rosette down onto the table in front of you, imprinting the stylized "I" on the table. You then stuff the rest of the bagel in your mouth in a rather undignified matter.

    The bagel monger looks both suprised and satisfied with your exclamation and says "Oh... sure, thanks..." and then hurries off away behind the counter and makes himself busy rolling dough and trying to ignore you.

    A tough looking guy sitting at another table in the shop calls out to you "Hey you there, good sir, you an Inquisitor?".

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:20 No.6571664

    Why yes good citizen.

    Do you have any heresy to report? If not I really must be going.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:30 No.6571798
    yes good citizen. would you happen to have a bar that's amasec needs to be "investigated" or a daughter that is suspected of being a witch? If not, i must go search for heresy elsewhere.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:32 No.6571821
    look around for the nearest object that can be used as a weapon and ask who the guy is... with an insulting slur on the end
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:32 No.6571824

    You look at the man who accosted you and say "Why yes good citizen. Do you have any HERESY to report? If not I really must be going."

    He responds "Well no, not HERESY or anyfing like that. I'm just wondering if you need someone to help you out and stuff, ya know. I heard a lot of Inquisitors can be found in this village and theres no one better to be bashing heads under than an Inquisitor, ya know?"

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:34 No.6571837
    That is correct good sir. What would your name be? And do you have any armaments?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:35 No.6571854
    He knows too much. Take his offer up and send him out on a suicidal opportunity when the time arises.

    Or have him be the one to remove that door from earlier.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:36 No.6571864

    ask the man for his name and if he is any good with bludgeoning object and also if he has any keen sense for non heretical snack foods and Baneblades
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:46 No.6571982

    You give this tough guy one last appraising look. He looks quite surly and muscular, with scars across basically ever piece of skin he has exposed.

    You then say "What is your name, and what bludgeoning experience do you have?"

    He responds "Look sir, I'm just a generic thug, my name is whatever you want it to be; but yeah I used to work another Inquisitor, by the name of Tinnenborn. Before that I was in the guard as a stormtrooper... Veruvian 51st."

    -- INPUT NAME --

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:46 No.6571983
    reply "The Imperium is always looking for more guardsmen, sign up with you local branch. I need no distractions when I'm hunting HERESY"
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)21:57 No.6572090
    John Q. Expendable.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:02 No.6572140
    Cmon guys, we got a name, now we need some commands! It ain't gonna happen by itself!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:10 No.6572237
    Have him gather whatever he wishes to bring with him & meet us here in an hour.

    Warn him not to be tardy.

    Tardiness is heresy.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:13 No.6572262
    Attach monitor to pig
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:16 No.6572299

    "YOUR NAME SHALL BE JOHN Q. EXPENDABLE" you tell him with a grin. "Gather all your weapons and belongings and meet me back here in 1 hour and we shall begin our hunt for HERESY!" You also give him your microbead vox's current frequency so you can contact him whenever you need to.

    He nods and says "Yessir" and then leaves the shop running down the street at a quick trot.

    With your business in this shop complete, you also leave and find yourself back on the street. The noise from the east seems to have grown in volume.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:18 No.6572328
    I cast holocaust at the commotion!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:21 No.6572357

    Make a saving throw to ignore the commotion and go to a pet store/animal shelter.

    For a puppy. With very sharp teeth.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:24 No.6572392
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:27 No.6572428

    You decide that to continue building your inquisitorial retinue, it would be best to find some sort of faithful animal companion. After a couple of minutes of searching, you find yourself in front of the local animal shelter.

    In the front window are a couple of cages, but only two of note. One contains and enormous Vorehound with huge slavering jaws, and the other contains an average sized dog with golden fur named Lassy.

    There doesn't seem to be much contest about who to choose... its obvious that you would pick...

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:32 No.6572497

    Fine, let's play along...I choose you, Lassy! No one will expect the laser death-beams we'll get the AM to install!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)22:46 No.6572674

    What? Don't look at me like that. It could work.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:01 No.6572895

    Fuck that shit, I find a techpriest and ask him nicely to make me a dog made entirely out of thunderhammers.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:02 No.6572910

    You walk into the animal shelter and tell attendant you want Lassy. You put the cost on the Inquisitional tab and head outside with Lassy in tow.

    While she doesn't look to fearsome right now, a few augmentations will probably fix her right up!

    You have about 40 minutes before you are supposed to meet John back at the bagel shop.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:06 No.6572965
    Power fangs! Own MEQs and still SUCCESSFULLY EAT FOOD. What's NOT to like?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:16 No.6573105



    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:19 No.6573137
    Lets go back to the Inquisitorial compound and get our stuff while we get the AdMech to get to work on Lassy.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:47 No.6573426
    +++Inquisitorial Message: Crimson Level+++
    Recipient: Angry Marines
    Subject: HOLY FUCK-CHRIST!
    +++End Message+++
    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:55 No.6573503

    You saunter on back to the Inquisitorial compound to pick up some gear for your upcoming HERESY hunt. Lassy, of course, comes along with you.

    After arriving at the compound you decide to drop Lassy off first at the Mechanicus depot within the compound for her upgrades.

    When you arrive at the depot, the techpriest manning the station asks "And what can this loyal servant of the Omnisiahh do for you today?"

    You explain that you want to make some modifications to your dog, to which he responds: "You'll have to be more specific, what kind of modifications?"

    >> Anonymous 11/04/09(Wed)23:56 No.6573522
    Digital weapon contact lenses for the dog.

    Boltgun 'turret' mounted on the dog's back like a saddle.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/09(Thu)00:00 No.6573565
    I also want him to shoot guns out of his eyes. Yea, you fucking heard me. Guns that shoot more guns and then shoot bullets. I also want him to bite through tanks.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/09(Thu)00:02 No.6573591
    You tell the adept to install an amasec barrel around its neck and rocketboots. Also a chaintail.
    >> TOTALLY NOT A CULTIST 11/05/09(Thu)00:17 No.6573754



    >> Anonymous 11/05/09(Thu)00:21 No.6573801

    You ask to have Lassy's eyes replaced with micro lasguns and to have bolter attached to it's back on an autotargeting pintle turret. You also ask for the techpriest to make a special collar for the dog to hold a small amasec barrel.

    The techpriest stares at you for a moment and says in a flat voice "I've am unable to understand humor sir, so if you are trying to make a joke, you will have to make it abundantly clear".

    >> Anonymous 11/05/09(Thu)00:30 No.6573895
    No joke, adept, this puppy is to become a cute, fuzzy, adorable instrument of the EMPEROR'S WRATH!!!

    But the turret may be a bit obvious... How about you replace his teeth with little power weapons instead?
    >> Anonymous 11/05/09(Thu)00:53 No.6574121
    this thread is win
    >> Anonymous 11/05/09(Thu)00:53 No.6574124
    OP Here

    Part 2 Is going to have to wait until tomorrow, I gotta sleep.

    Tootles, until then.

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