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  • File : 1254984664.jpg-(6 KB, 163x252, 1254697488529s.jpg)
    6 KB Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)02:51 No.6183147  
    Let me enlighten you with the copy/pasta of a writefag
    =========================================
    Dwarves are beings of tradition. A dwarf woman, while strong-willed and protective, always understands her place to be in the home. A good dwarf-wife will know how to cook and clean and care for children, but will not hesitate to take a warhammer to any who would raise a hand against her family.

    Dwarves are probably more fond of humans than most other races. As such, dwarf women are probably more fond of humans than most other races. It is a combination of clan traditions and the dwarven women's percieved masculinity that make human-dwarf relationships so rare, though those that do form tend to last for a while.
    A dwarf woman can be either threatened by or enamored with a human's flexibility and willingness to change, often both. A human man represents an almost alien way of life in that he is not bound by dwarven tradition, but oftentimes he holds all the strength, courage, valor, and love of liquor that dwarf women find attractive in dwarf men.
    Dwarf women have legendary stamina, so a human partner might be exhausted by the end of the night.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)02:54 No.6183184
         File1254984840.jpg-(64 KB, 600x757, D&D Elf.jpg)
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    Elves are beings of whimsy. An elf woman is always open to new experiences, and is receptive to most ideas. She will do whatever strikes her fancy, but still seeks to please. An elven wife, while devoted, knows that she cannot spend her life with you. She will live with you, raise a family with you, and stay by your side as you draw your last breath, but she will consider it hardly more than a brief tryst. A relationship with an elven woman will seldom lose its passionate spark.

    An elf woman sees a human man as something that lives fast and dies young, and is yet at the same time a bit more reserved than she is used to. A human man has a strange sense of responsibility and loyalty that is not quite as common in elven society, and represents a more grounded, down-to-earth viewpoint. Elf women see human men as excellent short-term lovers, but they die perhaps a bit too quickly for her to truly dedicate herself.
    An elf is used to spontaneity in the bedroom, more foreplay and less actual lovemaking. A human may bore her, though she might come to enjoy his directness and stamina.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)02:57 No.6183229
    Oh hey, I remember writing those!

    The thread was archived, you know.
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6133320/
    there.

    In all honesty, I would happily provide moar, but I am like ten minutes away from passing out due to lack of sleep.

    >A human may bore her, though she might come to enjoy his directness and stamina.
    You would not believe how many times I had to re-word that sentence to make it sound right.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:01 No.6183273
         File1254985286.jpg-(40 KB, 236x301, 2873049792_276fecf027.jpg)
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    Halflings are hardworking folk, but don't tend to take the law as seriously as others. A halfling woman will have strong opinions, and doesn't mind sharing them. She also has quite a wit, and can be great fun for those with a sense of humor. A halfling wife sees love and marriage as an adventure. She will work tirelessly for the betterment of her family, but doesn't take kindly to stagnation or monotony. In hard times, she will take to breaking the law for her family perhaps a bit too quickly; if that happens be sure to have some means of transportation. If/when she gets caught, you won't be returning to town any time soon.

    Halflings see humans as big but lovable. They admire their adaptability and cleverness, since those traits make them not so different from halflings themselves. At the same time, intimacy is not something halflings generally seek in non-halflings, so relations between the two are rare. A halfling woman is usually put off by the humans' intimidating size and the lack of the familiarity she has with other halflings. Even so, the odd halfling woman might be attracted to the humans' size, seeing him as a strong, able provider for a family. If she also has a desire to settle down (which is rare among halflings), she could make an excellent, devoted spouse as long as there is work to be found nearby.
    At the mere mention of human-halfling 'relations,' most halfling women will cross their legs and wince unconsciously. Indeed, it is difficult to imagine human-halfling intercourse without also imagining a halfling woman who is too sore to move. Most human-halfling couples prefer to engage in non-penetrative intercourse; if they want to have more traditional relations, great care and extensive preparation are necessary.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:03 No.6183304
    >>6183229
    Sweet! Thank you again for the source material. Some gamers just want to find true love and these can help a DM figure out why cross race relations may happen.

    I'm glad it got archived. I could certainly use more. There are a lot of races out there...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:08 No.6183358
    Interesting, but it's not exactly how I'd describe DND women. Well, maybe I'm just too much a 4e lover (at least regarding races).
    Also, hoomanz?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:11 No.6183398
    lol guise, what are human womenz liek? can u describe them to me?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:11 No.6183401
    >>6183229
    Would you write for other game worlds? Specifically: The Iron Kingdoms?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:14 No.6183435
    I wish to enquire about orc and kobold women.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:15 No.6183448
         File1254986152.jpg-(350 KB, 720x900, 1249514067595.jpg)
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    >>6183398

    I have heard something about other bizarre dimensions and a resemblance to a most foul swine. Other than this, my fine fellow gentleman, I don't have any legends handy about such improbable creatures.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/08/09(Thu)03:17 No.6183468
         File1254986276.png-(858 KB, 1840x1650, 111-NeutGol.png)
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    Neutronium Golems are perhaps the most misunderstood of races. Although generally dismissive of other species, it is not uncommon for such an entity to be enticed by 'lesser' beings. Enticed in this sense being that the Golem may deem them worthy of noticing to varying degrees, ranging from a passing fancy to a loving relationship. To be noticed by such a thing though, only the most splendorous or orchestrated displays would suffice; poetry is sure to stir deep emotional feelings, and other such artistic ploys including but not limited to flowers, candlelit dinners, and love-driven songs of praise. Also swan-boat rides.

    A relationship with a Neutronium Golem woman if nothing else is sure to never be boring. Apart from the frequent traveling, therein entails the reciprocation of love. N. Golem's despite common belief are highly amorous creatures, valuing emotional exchanges and embraces over actual physical love. That isn't to say though, that they are uninterested in this area, and a human will find such an experience to be... 'crushing' as described by most.

    Caution is advised.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)03:40 No.6183740
    bump for moar
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)04:01 No.6183947
    >>6183401

    You requested gobbers in the other thread, right?

    Yeah, sorry about not delivering there, but I don't have any IK material to draw from. I have downloaded material from a fuckton of systems and settings, but that one is conspicuously absent. Sorry 'bout that. If you could find some sourcebooks and upload them to mediafire (uni network blocks RS and MU) I'd be appreciative.
    Of those systems, I'm only really familiar with 3E fluff, so I usually stick to that, or otherwise I go the OC route like I did with the Understanding Humans pasta.

    I'm going to bed now. You'll probably be able to find me again on this board at all hours of the night most days of the week. I don't use a trip or a name; I prefer to post whatever bit of writefaggotry I've been working on and let it speak for itself, then identify myself after the fact.

    Tidbit: I think of all the wives I wrote about, the githyanki are probably one of my favorites, just because of how unusual the "comrade-in-arms sex buddy wife" concept sounds.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)04:11 No.6184050
    >>6183468
    who invented this bullshit? You'll never use this fucking golem, ever!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:25 No.6184724
    Gnolls need more love too.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:28 No.6184746
    HAHAHAHAH
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/08/09(Thu)05:32 No.6184764
         File1254994362.gif-(6 KB, 770x574, Gnoll Red Smile.gif)
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    >>6184724
    Agreed.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:33 No.6184773
    >>6183147
    That pic is seriously lacking some proper beards.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:35 No.6184784
    >>6184050
    In that particular sourcebook they have stated a universe.

    And feats that give inf. damage.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:37 No.6184790
    >>6184784
    Don't forget that infinite damage dealing capabilities is more included for the sake of completeness than the idea of it being actually an optimal choice.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:40 No.6184812
    >>6184784
    >>6184790
    And they aren't feats, either.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:42 No.6184826
    >>6184812
    I lost my copy during my HD crash. (Plus 1.5 TB of porn). I'm running off memory.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:55 No.6184904
    What we need is giants.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:58 No.6184928
    >>6184826
    Whats the name of the sourcebook?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:59 No.6184934
    MINOTAUR!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)05:59 No.6184939
         File1254995999.jpg-(21 KB, 450x300, 1249428952305.jpg)
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    >>6184724
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)06:10 No.6185010
         File1254996617.png-(10 KB, 150x151, 186-97.gif.png)
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    what about other monster races? like, kinda dumb ones?

    like... say... kobolds.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)06:17 No.6185046
    >>6183184

    Don't Elves marry for life?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)06:21 No.6185074
    >>6185010
    >kinda dumb ones?

    Kobolds are fucking smart, cunning, vicious motherfuckers! You shouldn't call them dumb.

    Cutebolds are pretty dumb, yeah, but that's a completely different matter.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)06:21 No.6185077
    >>6185046
    Yeah, but in human cases, it's not very long life.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)06:27 No.6185112
    >>6185077

    I mean, I thought they usually don't remarry or get romantically involved once their mate dies. At least thats how it went in Dragonlance.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:23 No.6185797
    >>6185112

    Was this before or after Lauralanthalasa started shacking up with that Knight of Takhisis a few books after Tanis dies?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:27 No.6185828
    >>6185010

    Cutebolds.

    The average cutebold is a simple creature, capable of human thought and reasoning, but not at a very high level of cognition. their simple tribal society reflects upon then.

    some humans, particularly lonely men with neckbeards, occationally make a sport out of hunting and trapping, or in some rare cases seducing, female cutebolds and then taking them home. be they caught by love or by force, the end result is always the petite cutebold getting fucked to death, the cutebold being physically too small to handle even the tinyest of human male reproductive organs. they however does not stop the men who fuck them, as they will continue do pound the cutebold untill the cutebolds jowels and nether regions are nothing but a mix of blodied meat sponge.

    enjoy your rage
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:30 No.6185854
    >>6185828
    You are a sad human being.

    Didn't rage.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:33 No.6185876
    >>6185828
    hot
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:36 No.6185900
    >>6185828
    Someone can no longer make the difference between a cutebold or a kobold. It was specifically the latter that was requested.

    Also your grammar is atrocious and because of that, I couldn't even read this shit. Probably for the better.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:43 No.6185951
    I really wouldn't mind reading about orcs.

    Or even ogres or giants. Is it not every man's dream to be nurtured like a baby by a much larger woman?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:45 No.6185966
    >>6185046
    Marry... yes
    Faithful... no
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:53 No.6186020
    Has it occurred to anybody wanting to marry Dwarf or Elf women that with their long lifespans, they'll probably only be in the mood about once a year?

    Every other night it'll be all "Ach, no laddy, I have a headache." and she'll hit you with a hammer for just grabbing a boob.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)08:59 No.6186063
    >>6186020
    All the more reason to pick an orc.

    They won't live any longer than I do, and will likely be in the mood most of the time. Also I like my women strong and rough.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)09:03 No.6186095
    I'd ask for gnomes, but I imagine there would be quite the problem with... dimensions.
    >> Fighter 10/08/09(Thu)09:05 No.6186103
    I'd ask for Warforged.
    But we already have PLEASUREFORGED.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)09:06 No.6186109
    >>6186063
    Yeah, but you'll also have to be strong for them: they won't take fat neckbeards.

    Flowers and chocolate? Fuck no. You'll have to drag them a bear hide taken from a gigantic grizzly bear with your own hands! Can you handle that?

    Orcs demand a lot, but the rewards will be worth it.

    >>6186095
    Tinkerers and inventors. They will figure out a workaround, I bet.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)09:09 No.6186137
    >>6186020

    Why? Shorter reproductive ratio doesn't mean less sexual drive.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)09:13 No.6186173
    >>6186137
    No, but significantly longer lifespan means that their sex drive is spread thinner.

    Things that live shorter, like bunnies, can mate countless times a day. Let's say humans would do it daily. You'd be lucky to get from an elf once a week.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)09:14 No.6186176
    >>6186020

    Are you kidding? With the dwarves' "FUCK YEAR LET'S DRINK AND FEAST EVERY FUCKING MINUTE THAT WE'RE NOT WORKING OR KILLING OR UNCONSCIOUS IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR" mentality, they probably love the simple, visceral passion of physical lovemaking. "Pounding the anvil," they could call it. Of course, they're also very traditional, so they probably prefer it with married partners in the missionary position (but so hard that it rattles their teeth - they ARE dwarves).

    Elves literally spend decades just doing whatever the fuck they want. They love passion and spontaneity, sometimes going from uproarious laughter to genuine, wracking sobs within moments, as the situation warrants. There's no reason an elf who felt the spark of attraction wouldn't want to hop into bed and explore the deeper range of emotions and feelings brought about by lovemaking.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)09:49 No.6186398
    But what if you're a girl yourself?

    Suddenly the size problems will be inverted. And I bet there'd be other subtle differences when you're the woman of the relationship. I mean, if I was a guy, I suppose I'd see the attraction in ogres, but when I'M the girl... ick.

    inb4 no girls in the internets
    >> Fighter 10/08/09(Thu)10:16 No.6186595
    >>6186398
    Read the halfling post and the other way around.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)10:23 No.6186657
    >>6186398
    What?! you don't want to be penetrated with a traffic cone?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)10:24 No.6186667
    >>6186595
    That's only for sex. There are more differences between humans and halflings than just size.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)10:47 No.6186881
    >>6185046
    That's Tolkien Elves. They mate for life and are unendingly faithful. D&D Elves are a different matter.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:12 No.6187115
    Gnomes are beings of curiosity. While they are family-minded, gnomish women are slow to settle down, making sure that they've "had their fun" before they consider such a thing. Alternately, some gnomes have taken to the concept of open relationships, with one or two regular partners besides their husband.

    Gnomes see eye to eye with humans in at least one degree; humor. While most of the other races chafe at the gnomish sense of humor, humans seem to understand it quite well, and this is one of the things that a human/gnome relationship can thrive on. However, unless the human in question is particularly long-lived, a long-term relationship isn't likely to happen. Gnomes aren't especially fond of the idea of outliving their lovers by a good century. Brief flings, however, are common, and unlike halflings, gnomes are actually equipped to deal with human partners on both ends - gnomish men take great pride in that they're "hung like squirrels", meaning less "a few inches long" and more "expands to over nine times its size when erect".
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:15 No.6187153
    God damn, field too long, how did I write a fucking essay about this creepy shit. oh well.

    Goliath women tend to possess a simple, spiritualistic view of the world, relying on a kind of patient, hard-earned wisdom. They are remarkably good judges of character, and rarely have the patience to deal with deception or intrigue. This same straightforward approach to life can sometimes get them into trouble in other civilizations; they tend to simply ignore any laws or taboos which they regard as frivolous.

    Though they are not averse to sexual experimentation - most goliath cultures lack the elaborate sexual taboos held by humans - it is quite rare for a goliath woman to experience serious romantic attraction toward a human. In these cases, the male must be honest and direct at all times to prove a suitable husband, and must demonstrate absolute commitment to protecting and nurturing his future family. In return, a goliath female makes a very patient and reasonable partner, but woe betide the man stupid enough to betray her trust!

    Goliath society places great importance on the act of passing one one's experience, so goliath wives expect their husbands to teach them all that they know, and be taught in turn. Their great patience and down-to-earth wisdom make them very good teachers, and they are earnest and humble students - it is not unknown for a previously illiterate woman from a faraway tribe to learn reading, writing, and advanced mathematics, or even a smattering of the subtle arts of arcane magic.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:16 No.6187166
    >>6187153

    The single most important thing to a goliath woman is her children. She expects her husband to assist her tirelessly in raising them to be strong, wise, and patient, and teaching them everything they need to know to go out into the world and carve out a place for themselves. This is one regard in which the goliath's fabled patience can reach its end - anyone who threatens her family will find himself in immediate, possibly mortal, peril. If the woman believes that someone is an irreconcilable threat to her husband or children, she will literally stop at nothing to utterly destroy the offending being, to the point of travelling around the world to murder him with her own hands. Naturally, she expects her husband to be at her side unfailingly during this endeavor.

    Beneath the sheets, goliaths favor simple, intimate lovemaking, enjoying the closeness and warmth of the act itself much more than the eventual possibility of orgasm. They love to cuddle, which strikes some humans as odd given their great size and apparent savagery. Goliath women are very careful and gentle when bedding human males, as the latter are rather fragile by comparison.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:21 No.6187222
    >>6186103
    >But we already have PLEASUREFORGED.

    I'm a little afraid to ask.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:30 No.6187323
    Shit, now I'm in a writing mood. Any requests for other races?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:32 No.6187347
    Little has been said of the mating of humans and half-breeds, for the reason that it is often difficult to generalize about those already born of human and another race. They may fit anywhere on the cultural spectrum, or completely shun the cultures from which they were spawned. Still, there are at least some physical generalities to mention with half-elves and half-orcs.

    Half-elves, aging slower than humans, are either less likely or far more likely to remain faithful as the partner approaches old age. Those less likely are up front with their husband regarding their need for sex and an active lifestyle, and often leave him if he has a problem with it. Those more likely have abandonment issues from childhood, and are just seeking the solace of a regular lover, aged or not.

    In bed, Half-elves are more or less similar to humans, but their lessened need for sleep means that they prefer long, slow bouts of lovemaking that go deep into the night.

    Half-orcs are usually faithful lovers, once someone actually earns their trust - no small feat. A jilted half-orc is likely to take out her rage in physical form, and far less likely to love again. While they can be jealous and clingy - especially in the formative stages of a relationship - marriages with half-orcs are remarkably stable.

    Between the sheets, half-orcs run the gamut of sexual experiences. Some just want to cuddle, some like bone-jarring, rapid fucking, and some particularly unlucky half-orcs have difficulty deriving any pleasure from sex at all - a rare clash between the physiologies of the two races. The one similarity that all half-orc women have is that they need much more hydration after a bout of lovemaking... and this is not due to sweating. If only to cut down on laundry, few half-orc women enjoy being bedded on an actual bed.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:34 No.6187360
    >>6187323
    Half of me wants to say Thri-keen.... but I'll seriously request orcs.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:38 No.6187399
    >>6187360
    Orcs seconded.

    Also I believe kobolds were mentioned before. I think that'd be interesting too.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:40 No.6187416
    >>6187399
    Kobold-human relations? Are you daft? It would end in terror and exploding reptillians!
    >> lilith 10/08/09(Thu)11:40 No.6187420
    I kinda want to request lizardfolk or kobolds--so you know what? I will. Lizardfolk, please.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:42 No.6187432
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    >>6187420


    You were warned.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:43 No.6187452
    Typical pathetic nerd fantasy.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:45 No.6187463
    >>6187416
    It'd be a challenge.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:46 No.6187473
    Why is OP's image thumbnail sized?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:47 No.6187485
    >>6187473

    To stop you fapping at midgets
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:49 No.6187502
    >>6187485
    but that ass...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:50 No.6187509
    >>6187485
    >fapping at
    I FAP IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:50 No.6187515
    I request Dragon.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:51 No.6187519
    >>6187432
    God I hate that image.

    I mean, I love kobolds, in a non-sexual way. They're , plucky, smart, cunning, and the underdogs of any setting they appear in, instantly appealing into me. And I think they're cute. But that picture? Eww.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:52 No.6187530
    >>6187515
    A fine choice. Dragon in their basic form would probably bring no pleasure to either side, but thanks to their nigh-limitless shapeshifting abilities, the two of you will get to explore something different virtually every night.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)11:56 No.6187578
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    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:12 No.6187748
    >>6187515

    Done in the previous thread.

    >>6187360

    Orcs, eh? I think half-orcs were done, but not orcs. Okay, coming up. Might do kobolds after.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:14 No.6187771
    catfolk from the races of the wild!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:15 No.6187780
    Gnolls
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:18 No.6187823
    >>6187748
    >Done in the previous thread.

    Which I missed. Would you have a link? Or at least copypasta?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:20 No.6187853
    /r/ Teiflings, please.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:22 No.6187870
    Tortle.. Do it.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:24 No.6187902
    Demons!

    Some other kind than succubus.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:24 No.6187909
    Due to their savagery and tribal bent, orcs are typically not prone to romance, and do not commonly find humans interesting. An orc woman might be briefly attracted to a particularly strong and courageous human, and might consider bedding him, but would be highly unlikely to bother with a long-term commitment.

    In the rare case that an orc female actually decides to permanently mate with a human male, she is likely to scoff at the concept of marriage, regarding it as a frivolous game made up by city-folk. She will frequently squabble with her mate, and may be prone to physical violence. However, she will not take any particular offense if the male responds in kind; violence and brutality are a way of life among the orcs, and gender does not reflect upon this.

    Orcs usually regard humans as weak and foolish, and tend to be contemptuous of them. A sufficiently ruthless and brutal male might win the woman's respect, however, and the right to be treated as an equal. Orc women are too violent and proud to take a subservient role; they will either fight their mates for dominance or simply leave to find a less difficult mate.

    The children of such couples are usually left in the father's care; the orcish mother will teach children to fight, but will not coddle them, expecting them to learn quickly and grow strong or die. Orcs can reproduce very quickly and rapidly, so they tend to regard any offspring that die as failures, and simply try again if they are so inclined.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:26 No.6187938
    >>6187823

    Third post in this thread has a link.

    >>6187853

    Also done in the previous thread.
    >>6187853
    >> Thou Dog 10/08/09(Thu)12:27 No.6187953
    >>6187771
    You gonna get clawed.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:29 No.6187970
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    Sentient Undead.

    Go on, I dare you.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:30 No.6187989
    >>6187970

    Challenge accepted.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:32 No.6188009
    >>6187953
    i can only hope =3
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:34 No.6188033
    >>6187989

    Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:35 No.6188040
    Dare I ask for genderswapped versions, at least in cases where they make a key difference?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:39 No.6188071
    >>6187771
    I second this
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:39 No.6188076
    Sapient undead beings, such as liches, almost never feel any need for romantic entanglements. In rare cases, such a creature may long for companionship, but even these rare few almost always turn to spirits or other sentient undead to serve as intellectual peers.

    In the (extraordinarily rare) event that an undead being decides to pair with a living one, sex typically does not enter into the equation at all. The undead does not seek a lover; rather, she wishes for someone to serve as an emotional and intellectual anchor, a person with whom to share her fears and ambitions. She may, in time, be persuaded to indulge any warped fantasies her lover may entertain, but such acts will hold no particular joy for her, and she is likely to be bored by them.

    Undead beings are usually perfectly stable partners, disinterested as they are in sex and romance. However, as the mortal man ages, the undead woman inevitably begins to worry; if she has already invested a degree of attachment in the male, she will be distressed by the prospect of losing him to mortality. Such situations almost invariably end with the mortal being made into an undead, whether he consents or not - the female reasons, quite logically, that she will have eternity to bring him around to her point of view.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:39 No.6188082
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    >>6188071
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:41 No.6188105
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    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:42 No.6188111
    >>6188040

    You know what? You're right, this is pretty stilted. Name a couple you're interested in and I'll write them up.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:44 No.6188127
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    races of the wild! do eeet!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:44 No.6188135
    >>6188111
    I'd like to hear more about drow males, seeing how they have such strong gender issues. Also any pairing with big size differences apply: it's way different whether the halfling is the girl or the guy.

    Also kobolds.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:46 No.6188162
    >>6188111
    are you purposefully ignoring catfolk? :(
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:50 No.6188203
    >>6188111
    Elves and orcs
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:50 No.6188204
    I still would like to see a full write up for Dragons.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:51 No.6188213
    >>6183147
    /r/ the full size of this picture
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)12:57 No.6188275
    what about ogresses.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:00 No.6188308
    Lets get tieflings. Either 3.5 sad freaks or 4E sinister merchant/noble types. Is it wrong of me to think of 4E tieflings as kind of like "fiendish jews?" Societal role, I mean? reviled by everyone, but tend to be rich and influential, in professions like banking, trading and so forth?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:01 No.6188313
    >>6188135

    Drow males tend to have serious intimacy issues, and have trouble looking beyond the struggle for dominance. They are usually petty and bitter, and many of them never learn to give up their paranoia and insecurity.

    In the event that a drow is coaxed into trusting his partner, however, he can become almost pathetically eager to please. He is likely to be fascinated by the idea of a woman who has no desire to subjugate him, and determined to remain in her good graces. The habits and conditioning he underwent in drow society will never truly die; he will tend to obey his partner without thinking about it, though this may not bother him if he has grown to love her.

    The downside is that drow tend to be treacherous by nature, and the male may be tempted to be unfaithful, regardless of how much affection he has for his wife. If she is vigilant and goes out of her way to make it known that he is wanted, however, he will enjoy lavishing attention on her.

    Carnally, drow males dwell in two camps. Those who have not learned to give up their mistrust tend to be rough and selfish, usually preferring to be dominant whenever possible. On the other hand, a male who has managed to forge a bond of trust with a woman will be an extremely accommodating lover, willing to indulge almost any request without complaint.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:02 No.6188323
    >>6188162

    Not really. Well, a little. I'll probably get around to them eventually. In fairness, you should know that I generally don't react well to pestering. Be patient, and I'll get around to you.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:06 No.6188363
    >>6188162
    yiff in hell bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:11 No.6188404
    >>6188135

    Halfling males are dynamic and energetic folk. They do not commonly feel attracted to the larger races, though the odd fellow might develop a taste for the "big lasses." They tend to be very family-oriented and considerate, though they greatly value their independence and will react very poorly to any objections to their nights out with the boys. This is not unreasonable, as unfaithfulness is not particularly common among halflings.

    Sexually, halfling males are not well-suited to pleasing human females; they are simply not sufficiently endowed. To make up for this, they are inventive and determined; a halfling husband is likely to end up a masterful cunnilinguist, and will develop a superb understanding of his wife's body and turn-ons.

    Halfling males tend to take a warm, but lax, approach to fathering children; they expect youths to be mischievous and rough-and-tumble, taking a sort of "boys will be boys" stance on any trouble they might get into. They do tend to dote on their daughters, however.

    Halflings tend to be prone to a fairly traditional view of marriage, expecting women to spend a fair portion of their time on homemaking, mothering, and similar pursuits. Though they can be disabused of this notion with some patience, those seeking a quiet and secure marital life may be attracted to this role.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:14 No.6188422
    >>6188363
    Catfolk are as an official race as gnolls, tieflings, centaur and kobalds....

    >.>
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:15 No.6188432
    >>6188422
    yiff in hell furfag.

    you just ousted yourself with your gaiafag smiley.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:17 No.6188445
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    >>6188422
    >>6188162
    <-

    >>6188432
    >>6188363
    quit being dicks
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:17 No.6188457
    People probably aren't going to like this, but fuck it.

    This thread needs more Dragonborn. And while we're at it, how about Shifters, Genasi and Devas as well?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:18 No.6188458
    >>6188422
    yiff yaff yaff butthurt yiff yiff
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:18 No.6188465
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    >>6188432

    that makes no sense at all. stop trolling the threads. pic related.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:19 No.6188473
    >>6188445
    >>6188465
    sure is furries in here.

    go back to your fucking flare and cynder threads.
    >> Thou Dog 10/08/09(Thu)13:20 No.6188480
    >>6188432
    ousted <---> outed

    ??
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:20 No.6188486
    Kobolds incoming! I'll do both genders here.

    Kobolds are almost always selfish and small-minded. They are highly prone to festering resentment, and have great difficulty establishing connections based upon trust or respect.

    It is extremely rare for a kobold male to be attracted to a human - their bodies are just too different. In the event that he is, however, he is unlikely to try to woo her; manipulation and deception come to him much more naturally. A canny woman might be able to outwit or intimidate a kobold male into serving as a consort or plaything, but they have too much difficulty with the human concept of love to serve as proper partners.

    Kobold females are somewhat different; they are not inherently capable of love in the same way that humans are, but they do experience a form of affection, likely as a biological imperative towards motherhood. This instinct can be nurtured over time, and eventually they can learn to feel a simple kind of love. This is normally done to make them into suitable servants; they are too small and oddly-configured to easily copulate with humans.

    Kobolds cannot produce offspring with humans.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:20 No.6188488
    >>6188445
    wow i havent read mr cynical in ages is that comic still around?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:21 No.6188490
    Can we get some MtG race wives?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:21 No.6188491
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    Stop ruining good threads. Both sides. Just request things, and if the writefag doesn't deliver, don't complain.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:21 No.6188496
    >>6188488
    The writer ditched. Vaz is just dicking around drawing shit at this point.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:21 No.6188499
    OGRESSES OGRESSES OGRESSES
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:22 No.6188503
    >>6188488
    nope, still dead
    you're welcome to try and hunt down Vaz though
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:22 No.6188504
    >>6188465
    it makes perfect sense, unlike having sex with animals, furfag. gb2stable.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:23 No.6188512
    >>6188504

    Are you against having sex with ALL ANIMALS?

    and yes, I am pointing out that humans are animals
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:24 No.6188518
    I would just like to know why someone says Catfolk and people throw fits, but something as alien and animalistic as a Kobald is okay. I'm not big on furries, I don't know alot about them, but am I wrong in saying that dragons and lizards are just as big in the furry community as well...furred creatures?

    Sorry if this contributes to the thread destruction.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:24 No.6188523
    >>6188504
    >>6188512
    Look, just... stop it. We've been through this shit so many times that everyone who brings it up is automatically a troll, and anyone who responds to them is an idiot.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:25 No.6188529
    >>6188518
    It's easier to troll with cats than with lizards. That's all.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:25 No.6188532
    >>6188518
    because kobolds aren't sexualized like catfolk. Kobolds are horrid, grasping little monsters who live in caves and hate everyone.

    Catfolk are OHL OOK AT ME IM A FLUFFY KITTY XD STICK PENIS IN BUTT PLZ?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:26 No.6188541
    >>6188532

    Ah I see. On with the thread then!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:27 No.6188549
    >>6188532

    Thats not how I read them in the Races of the Wild book at all...

    Maybe theres another sourcebook?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:27 No.6188552
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    Please don't do this.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:27 No.6188553
    >>6188486
    As far as I understand, kobolds are actually extremely loyal and selfless when it comes to other kobolds. Their society is Lawful, after all. This of course doesn't apply to interspecies interactions, not inherently - however, if you can get one devoted to you, he or she will be with you for life.

    That's how I've understood the thing, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:27 No.6188555
    >>6188552
    agreed.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:29 No.6188572
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    Random MtG cards to get creature types with females

    Gwyllions are controlling hags, and they know it. You probably shouldn't have started dating her, but at least she hasn't killed and eaten you yet, like a hag proper would have done.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:29 No.6188573
    >>6188553
    >however, if you can get one devoted to you, he or she will be with you for life.

    Way easier said than done, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:34 No.6188627
    I am heartily enjoying this thread. What about getting an orc/half-orc male?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:34 No.6188636
    >>6188512
    typical furry bullshit. you knew what i meant, and that distinction doesn't excuse what you do to fido when your parents aren't home.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:35 No.6188649
    >>6188627

    male or mate? Also, what kinda orc? Standard D&D?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:36 No.6188656
    >>6188457

    Most dragonborn are highly conscious of tradition, and will virtually never experiment with members of other races. Dragonborn adventurers, on the other hand, are usually free spirits with a great love of discovery, and might, over time, be tempted to venture into the unknown territory that is human romance.

    Dragonborn males are proud and self-assured, placing great value in honor and decency. They are chivalrous, gallant, and gentlemanly, but tend to have difficulty getting around traditional taboos and the possibility of social reprisal, so they can sometimes seem stubborn and hidebound. In some cases, these qualities can manifest as arrogance and disdain rather than nobility, but such men are unlikely to show interest in humans anyway, viewing them as a confused and childish people.

    Dragonborn females tend to be more laid-back than their male counterparts, possessing a fondness for the simple things in life. They are often unrepentant drinkers, and easily form fast friendships with those willing to share ales and tales with them. In most cases, female dragonborn adventurers are independent and not terribly interested in relationships, but it is not unknown for one to long for a long-term relationship or become attached to a particular companion, and romantic entanglements do occur.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:36 No.6188663
    >>6188636

    Why are you assuming I have sex with dogs?

    I'm a cat man. :3
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:36 No.6188666
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    >>6188636
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:37 No.6188668
    >>6188649
    >male or mate?

    Male, I'd presume.

    >Also, what kinda orc? Standard D&D?

    I'm now imagining Warhammer Fantasy orc, but... yeah, Standard D&D.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:37 No.6188672
    4th edition races are inferior and must be purged.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:39 No.6188691
    >>6188672
    in their defense, dragonborn are in a 3.5 sourcebook too.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:39 No.6188694
    >>6188649
    Male specifically, but either is good. Also yeah, standard D&D.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:40 No.6188701
    what else?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:41 No.6188715
    >>6188663
    i should have guessed - a dog would be a bit too loose for you, wouldn't it? your micropenis will tingle that cat in all the right places.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:42 No.6188729
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    Someone mention have Kobalds?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:42 No.6188732
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    >>6188715
    good God.

    go start another thread and leave this one alone please.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:45 No.6188767
    >>6188668

    Look. There are entire websites that approve of your lifestyle. It is very clear that we don't want you. Why do you insist on pestering us until we tell you to prolapse in half... IN HELL?

    You're not being persecuted. You're being an imposing group of self-righteous fucktards. You have entire internet communities dedicated to your interests. Our interest is traditional games. Now shut your goddamn mouth.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:45 No.6188783
    >>6188553
    This is true. On a societal scale. They put the needs of their tribe before their own to the point of suicidally defending their home as a diversion so the rest can be evacuated.

    On an individual scale, though, they have a "better-you-than-me" attitude; smarter kobolds will run away, leaving their dumber brethren to guard the front while they, "go and get reinforcements."

    Should someone redo it?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:47 No.6188807
    >>6188656 continued

    In the rare event that they marry outside of their species, dragonborn make very loyal spouses. They tend toward a traditionalist view of
    marriage, although the dragonborn tradition is that one partner is the warrior and the other is the provider; no provisions are made for gender. Again, adventurers are much more likely to ignore these traditions, being free spirits to begin with.

    Male dragonborn dote greatly upon their wives, lavishing them with gifts and jewelry like a dragon offering its hoard to a potential mate. They tend to be passionate and energetic lovers, which can prove problematic; it often proves necessary for the human woman to slow her partner down lest he unintentionally injure her. Fortunately, dragonborn males are highly conscious of their perceived duty to be good partners, and can learn to concentrate carefully on accommodating the female's needs.

    While dragonborn females tend to enjoy intimacy and companionship more than gift-giving and -receiving, they are just as energetic in bed as their male counterparts, with the same problems that entails. Dragonborn women have difficulty restraining themselves during coitus; like the males, they experience intense excitement and passion during sex, and they can occasionally bruise or even injure their human partners. This can be rather unfortunate for the male, as the female's fondness for drink and fun-loving nature may result in frequent, tipsy, potentially injurious advances.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:47 No.6188813
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    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:48 No.6188818
    Dear 6188668, I apologize for quoting you by accident.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:48 No.6188822
    >>6188694

    Is it alright if I say that orcs are all about who does the peneratin', rather then sex of recipient?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:48 No.6188829
    >>6188732
    why don't you start another thread? this time on fchan? maybe you'll find people who appreciate you for the retarded inbred catfucker you are.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:48 No.6188833
    >>6188783

    Guy who wrote the original one here. I figured that kobolds would be instinctively incapable of feeling that same tribe loyalty towards non-kobolds. If you disagree, feel free to rewrite it.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:51 No.6188877
    >>6188767 It is very clear that we don't want you

    It's clear that YOU don't want it here.
    YOU are not the entirety of /tg/, do not speak as such.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:52 No.6188879
    >>6188818
    I accept the apology if you leave this thread alone. It's too good of a thread to be ruined by your bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:52 No.6188887
    Ugh fuck, forget catfolk. I don't want to deal with the shitstorm.

    Quick consensus on another race, please. I have to go soon.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:54 No.6188912
    >>6188887
    Rakshasha!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:55 No.6188919
    >>6188887
    Gnolls!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:55 No.6188920
    >>6188912

    Okay, that is so fucking weird that I think I have to do it. Give me a sec.

    Also, nobody fucking bitch about furry or I swear to god I will turn this thread around.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:56 No.6188930
    >>6188887
    Celestials.
    Arcanaloths.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)13:58 No.6188957
    >>6188920
    Fucking furry bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:00 No.6188981
    >>6188920
    If anyone bitches about furry he's either being ironic or that one troll. Ignore them.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:01 No.6188991
    >>6188829
    Uh, I have nothing to do with furries, being the one who posted that. I just think youre being an overbearing prick whose trolling the thread and destroying it because you're a complete idiot.

    Please both of you, just go to another thread or post to another forum. leave this one alone.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:01 No.6188993
    >>6188833
    I only really have a problem with the simple-minded part. If they had a penalty to Int, I could see it, but a society being centered on survival due to being small and frail doesn't make them simple, it makes them cautious.

    Me? Write? I don't write unless it's required of me or I'm doing it to pass time. This is neither and I've found that I don't really care past complaining, which I've just done, so, yeah.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:01 No.6188994
    >>6188833
    Well it'd be hard, but... yes, I believe they could, in time, learn to love and trust you like you were one of the tribe, or even one of the dragons they so much respect.

    Doesn't warrant a whole rewrite, but it is something to be noted.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:02 No.6189008
    >>6188994
    Also yeah, like >>6188993 said, they're not really simple-minded at all.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:04 No.6189025
    Rakshasas are usually solitary, disdaining companionship and trust. They may occasionally indulge in sexual experimentation, but they generally do so for their own enjoyment and no one else's. Rakshasas only marry for convenience or position; as inherently evil and ambitious beings, they are literally not capable of love.

    Most rakshasas engage in intercourse only to produce offspring, further their own goals, placate troublesome spouses, or please themselves. Males tend to be extremely dominant, with a vicious streak ranging from mildly kinky to horrifyingly sadistic; they will sometimes use whatever influence they have amassed to gather harems for their own amusement, as monogamy and loyalty are alien concepts to them. Females are evenly split - half of them are dominant and cruel like the males, and the other half possess an oddly masochistic streak, though they are still cruel and capricious. Females, like males, will sometimes gather a harem of interesting slaves to toy with, though they are prone to tiring of their playthings and discarding or destroying them.
    >> sage 10/08/09(Thu)14:05 No.6189040
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    >>6183147
    >6 KB, 163x252
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:05 No.6189042
    >>6189025
    Gnolls.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:06 No.6189052
    >>6189008

    I'm sorry if I gave that impression - I tried to portray them as small-minded and emotionally mistrustful, but apparently that came off as stupid and simple. I always imagined kobolds to be xenophobic and paranoid.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:07 No.6189057
    >>6188991
    You posted a picture of a snarling wolf in response to anti-furry sentiment. Clearly, good sir, if you're not a furry, you harbour strong furry sympathies. I'm just trying to do my bit for /tg/ and fa/tg/uys everywhere - is it not more satisfying for us to hear about orcs that lol kawaai weeaboo furfag catfolk? Is it not so that you're a drooling moron with no social skills? Would we rather be regaled with epic tales of dorfen (wo)manhood, or some low-grade furry shag story?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:08 No.6189078
    >>6189052
    >I always imagined kobolds to be xenophobic and paranoid.

    A bit less on xenophobic (they can make friends with most other races with some effort, maybe excluding gnomes) and more on paranoid, but generally yeah.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:09 No.6189085
    >>6189057
    I think he was just being ironic.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:09 No.6189090
    >>6189040
    What are you trying to tell us?
    >> Thou Dog 10/08/09(Thu)14:10 No.6189105
    >>6189057
    He already said he wasn't doing catfolk, and no, don't pun on that, please.

    Can we leave out the furry loev / haet drama? We can create a separate thread for that. Or it can go on /furi/, which is more or less made for that kind of thing.
    >> Ted 10/08/09(Thu)14:13 No.6189131
    So, I've lost some socks recently...

    Which one of you did it?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:15 No.6189142
    >>6189057

    Considering several people have asked you to please shut the fuck up and go away, I'm pretty sure /tg/ doesn't want your bullshit. Stop trying to justify your half-assed attempts at trolling as being some kind of forum paladin. Isn't school still in, either way?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:17 No.6189159
    Marilith
    Arcanloth
    Cambion
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:26 No.6189252
    djinni, efreeti, and marids plx.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:27 No.6189267
    >>6189042

    Unlike many sentient races, gnolls have no social concept of marriage or love. The strongest male gnoll in the group is the alpha; he selects the choicest females for himself and himself alone, and the remaining males are left to fight over the remaining females, who in turn fight the males they are not interested in.

    Gnolls typically view humans as ugly, gangly, hairless parodies of the superior gnollish form, and are, for the most part, disgusted by them. Particularly deviant gnolls, or those gnolls raised by other cultures, may eventually develop an attraction to humans, however.

    Gnoll males tend to prefer submissiveness and loyalty in a mate. They expect obedience and subservience, and are easily angered when they do not get it. They are highly selfish, demanding food and other services from their mates, and will not hesitate to take as many suitable mates as they can keep in line. During sex, they are crude and heedless, taking no notice of anything but their own satisfaction.

    Gnoll females have little concept of intimacy or romance, though they understand loyalty well enough. They are attracted to strength and ruthlessness, and, while they may occasionally clash with their mates, they do not resent being overshadowed or the involvement of other females (though they will compete with these for position). They derive less enjoyment from sex than most other creatures, though this changes dramatically while they are in heat.

    It is theoretically possible for gnolls to crossbreed with humans, though any offspring from such a union would likely be stunted and wretched.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:27 No.6189268
    Any hope of seeing the other 4E races?

    I'd love to hear how a relationship would go with Devas, Shifters and Genasi.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:29 No.6189285
    >>6189052
    >>6189078
    Not so much xenophobia as happiness at being overlooked coupled with a disdain for other races and a preference for secrecy.

    In addition, the writer wasn't exactly wrong about them not feeling love the same way humans do. They love working and they love raising their young because both help the tribe. Other than that, the closest thing they have to love is if two of them find that they work better together, which increases their productivity as members of the tribe. Romantic love is almost unknown, most finding communal life with their tribe satisfying enough. They only mate out of instinct and a sense of duty to the tribe.
    >> sage 10/08/09(Thu)14:31 No.6189306
    >>6189090
    I want a bigger versoin of that pic.
    >> W/r/itefag 10/08/09(Thu)14:31 No.6189309
    First, some background on Catfolk. A wizard did it, seriously. He made them with all the attributes he associated with cats using a nearby human village as his unwitting fodder.

    While catfolk themselves are perhaps used to it, other races may be surprised by their casual intimacy. To be groomed via tongue is merely a friendly sign of affection and not to be construed as anything else.

    When it comes to interacial sex with catfolk, it is different between males and females. Women are only in the mood once a month but when they are, they are savagely, demandingly and tiringly so and will not tolerate any attempts at preventing conception.

    Men are somewhat more laid back but somewhat confused by other races. For most races, that time of the mouth is 'No sex' time and the battle between catfolk male instinct and that knowledge is just going to bother them forever. And to the dismay of a woman, she may find her catfolk man is simply not in the mood at any other time. Those who can get the mood, just end up being unfaithful tomcats.
    >> W/r/itefag 10/08/09(Thu)14:34 No.6189340
    >>6189309
    >time of the month
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:35 No.6189343
    >Particularly deviant gnolls, or those gnolls raised by other cultures, may eventually develop an attraction to humans, however.

    oh u

    Why can't you just keep your fetishes to yourself, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:37 No.6189367
    >>6189309
    ITT we think all women get their periods at the exact same time.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:38 No.6189379
    >>6189367
    ...or you know, he could just be referring to heat.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:38 No.6189388
    >>6189367
    Alternatively, you fail at reading comprehension forever. He didn't say it was one time, just "a time".
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:40 No.6189415
    still waiting on the tieflings
    >> Future Ted 10/08/09(Thu)14:40 No.6189418
    >>6189131

    I have something to tell you...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:41 No.6189422
    >>6189379
    ITT we think all cats get in heat at the exact same time.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:41 No.6189427
    >>6189268

    Devas are distant and philosophically-minded beings, though they are quite capable of forming friendships and romantic attachments. They are rarely subject to infatuation, instead developing feelings of love after long-standing, close friendships. Devas are not averse to romancing or even marrying humans, though they have an unusual view of such relationships; while a human might think, "I will spend my life with this person," a deva would think, "I will spend *this* life with this person." This can sometimes lead to bitterness from mortal partners that have difficulty accepting that the deva will not follow them into the afterlife, but will instead reincarnate and live another, different, life.

    Devas do not experience the fiery passion that mortals do, but they make infinitely patient and committed partners. They tend to express their love through constant, low-key dedication, occasionally going out of their way to boost their partners' spirits if needed.

    There is no definable difference between the behavior of male and female devas. Likewise, they usually follow no codified traditions, with the possible exceptions of those espoused by a particular deity.

    In intimate situations, devas are conscious of their partners and enjoy pleasing them. They take pleasure in surprising their lovers with various tricks and techniques pulled from their infinite wellspring of memories, though this can sometimes backfire and cause the mortal to become resentful of the fact that the deva has lain with so many. For those mortals willing to accept a single lifetime of commitment, however, a deva can make a highly fulfilling lover.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:47 No.6189495
    I am masturbating to the idea of being in a committed relationship with a member of a fictional race.

    Please continue.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:47 No.6189497
    >>6189427

    Awesome, thanks
    >> W/r/itefag 10/08/09(Thu)14:47 No.6189498
    >>6189422
    Where the hell did I say that?

    >Women are only in the mood once a month

    That means any one particular woman, not all of them. >>6189388 is right, you fail at reading comprehension.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:48 No.6189503
    >>6189495
    Aren't we all?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:48 No.6189504
    >>6189078
    Also, almost forgot:
    >can make friends with most other races

    No. They absolutely despise gnomes to the point of the belief that the only good gnome is a dead gnome.

    They hate fey. Elves and halflings remind them of fey, thus they hate elves and halflings.

    Half-elves and half-orcs are usually seen as representatives and otherwise viewed for what they are: a cross-breed from an odd pairing of human and some other race. The only exception to this is a half-orc from a human settlement, viewing them as little more than a very slightly more dignified orc.

    Dwarves are nothing more than competition. The dwarves' ties to gnomes don't help much either. If, however, they find themselves working together through circumstance, they find a common work ethic and form a sort of respect-based friendship.

    Finally, humans are viewed as a mystery to kobolds. Sometimes enemies, sometimes friends but always unpredictable.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:48 No.6189511
    Can we get a non-thumbnail version of OP's pick? I need to add it to my, um, gaming materials.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:51 No.6189531
    >>6189504
    I think it was Races of the Dragon I read it in, but I think it said Kobolds get along well with Dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:51 No.6189533
    Nothing yet on Orcs, or did I miss that post?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:53 No.6189558
    >>6189531
    Funny you should mention RotD. That's where I got my information. Last line of the part about dwarves, in fact:

    >If, however, they find themselves working together through circumstance, they find a common work ethic and form a sort of respect-based friendship.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)14:55 No.6189574
    >>6189533
    Whoops, found the post for female orcs, what about the males?
    >> Ted 10/08/09(Thu)15:13 No.6189766
    >>6189418

    Aww, not this shit again!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:19 No.6189872
    Marilith.
    Dryad.
    Giants.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:20 No.6189881
    merfolk
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:25 No.6189955
    >>6189574

    Male orcs have little respect for beauty and grace, preferring strength and endurance in a potential partner. Though orc raiders are known to commit acts of rape, most orc males are generally uninterested in members of other races

    An orc male that chooses to take a human mate risks ridicule and contempt from other orcs. He will constantly deride and attempt to dominate the female, and will not hesitate to abuse her if she allows him to. However, if she constantly responds with equal brutality, he may eventually accord her a grudging respect, though she will still need to prove herself to the rest of the tribe.

    Orcs are surprisingly indifferent toward gender roles, though males are typically held in higher regard. Females can be warriors and leaders, though they have to fight harder to prove themselves. If a woman shows sufficient determination and ruthlessness, she may earn the respect of her mate and the rest of the tribe, and may even gather followers for a raiding party.

    During lovemaking, orc males are savage and unsophisticated. They are usually not particularly skilled or considerate, but they may regard the ability to satisfy a mate as a point of pride. They generally have little patience for lovemaking, instead preferring spontaneous bouts of frenzied rutting.

    As with orc women, the men are unforgiving of their children, and treat them harshly in hopes of conditioning them to be strong and ruthless warriors. Those children that die are seen as failures. Because human women are less fertile than orc women, and half-orc infants have a longer gestation period than full orcs, an ambitious orc male may wish for his human mate to be almost constantly pregnant. If she disagrees, he will respect her wishes once she beats them into his head; orc relationships are not terribly sophisticated.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:32 No.6190059
    >>6189955
    Giants.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:35 No.6190107
    >>6188499

    Ogresses are simple, crude beings. One may take interest in a human male because her ability to physically dominate him delights her, or she may be fascinated by his resourcefulness and comparative brilliance. In either case, she is more likely to keep the human as a plaything than to treat him as a mate, though a clever or determined man may be able to remedy this.

    Ogre relationships are quite simple. Being large and powerful, ogres are not threatened by most predators, so the concept of dominance is restricted to leadership - the strongest, most cunning ogre is the leader, and everyone else is simply a member of the tribe. For this reason, male and female ogres simply do not understand the concept of gender dynamics. Both are expected to gather food and fight intruders, and both are expected to obey the leader while secretly dreaming of taking his position some day.

    In a relationship with a human, an ogre woman is not too difficult to please - he must provide large quantities of food, help fight any threats, and not be unfaithful. If he consistently fails to fulfill these requirements, he is liable to be killed and devoured - ogres are more picky about their mates than they are about what they eat!

    Lovemaking between a human and an ogre is nearly impossible without magical assistance, though it is much easier for a male human/female ogre pair. Reproduction is possible, though half-ogres are seen as runty and disappointing children, and somewhat neglected by their ogre parents.
    >> Blackheart 10/08/09(Thu)15:37 No.6190151
    Ooze

    Fae (preferably the tiny ones)

    Aberrations (Beholder, I DARE YOU)
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:39 No.6190182
    >>6190151
    >(Beholder, I DARE YOU)

    Challenge accepted.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:43 No.6190247
         File1255030988.jpg-(12 KB, 269x269, 1251026592173.jpg)
    12 KB
    >>6190182
    >> GTVA Colossus !moot/UIi/o 10/08/09(Thu)15:43 No.6190252
    >>6190182
    THIS THREAD IS GOING PLACES
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:47 No.6190290
    As highly intelligent, evil creatures, beholders are not subject to love in the same way that humans are. However, they recognize the value of having a reasonably trustworthy, intelligent confidant to discuss their plans with, and they are capable of a limited form of affection. In most cases, beholders form pairings for power and convenience, but, as with all cunning and corrupt races, they are endlessly creative in their depravity.

    Contrary to popular belief, beauty is not in the eye of the beholder; they place no weight on physical appearance. Rather, beholders are impressed by great cunning and intelligence, and disgusted by foolishness and stupidity. While it is impossible for a beholder to carry on a proper romantic or sexual relationship with a humanoid, one could take interest in a sort of corrupt partnership. A beholder might use a humanoid partner as a wicked surrogate to torment its defeated enemies, cackling evilly as its partner in crime humiliates and violates its victims.

    For obvious reasons, it is impossible for beholders and humanoids to copulate or reproduce. Beholders greatly enjoy contests of intellect and wit, however, and have much knowledge and magical power to share with a suitably loyal, and suitably wicked, companion.
    >> northern /k/ommando 10/08/09(Thu)15:47 No.6190293
    >>6190151
    >Ooze
    how would a traditional relationship with such a thing work out?.

    or even a non-traditional one.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:49 No.6190320
    >>6190293

    Oozes sometimes form close relationships with human beings of either gender. They copulate with the humans by devouring them, then reproduce by splitting to form more oozes. It is unknown why oozes are so eager to pursue such relationships despite the reluctance of most humans.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:49 No.6190331
    >>6190290 Contrary to popular belief, beauty is not in the eye of the beholder; they place no weight on physical appearance.
    Hate to say it, but lords of madness disagrees. They value other beholders more if the beholder looks more like them, because each beholder sees itself as perfection.
    >> Blackheart 10/08/09(Thu)15:50 No.6190341
         File1255031436.jpg-(382 KB, 800x800, 1248896057290.jpg)
    382 KB
    >>6190290
    And here I was expecting some fellatio...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:50 No.6190343
         File1255031437.jpg-(2.73 MB, 4561x3609, 1250865169628.jpg)
    2.73 MB
    >Ooze
    >See picture
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:52 No.6190360
    >>6190331

    Yes, but that's hubris and narcissism, not an appreciation of aesthetic beauty.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:52 No.6190370
    >>6190331

    This anon has the gist of it.

    Beholders would NEVER have any sort of relationship with a human, since their form is imperfect in the eye(s) of the beholder.
    >> northern /k/ommando 10/08/09(Thu)15:53 No.6190385
    >>6190343
    well yeah. those are easy to please and handle.

    but i wasnt thinking of Ooze of that kind.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:54 No.6190401
    >>6190370

    Not necessarily true. The beholder might view the human as ugly, but could still enjoy pitting its own mind against the vile, expansive intellect of, say, an evil warlock. It would regard itself as vastly superior, but wouldn't necessarily squeal "EW EW A HUMAN KILL IT KILL IT"
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:57 No.6190430
    >>6190401
    >Not necessarily true. The beholder might view the human as ugly, but could still enjoy pitting its own mind against the vile, expansive intellect of, say, an evil warlock. It would regard itself as vastly superior, but wouldn't necessarily squeal "EW EW A HUMAN KILL IT KILL IT"

    Someone get a drawfag NOW!!
    >> Blackheart 10/08/09(Thu)15:57 No.6190433
    >>6190370
    Like there aren't any chaotic good drow or illithids out there eh?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:58 No.6190440
    >>6190401
    Beholders eat their own children if they even look *slightly* different.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:58 No.6190446
    Whoever thinks Kobolds will make loyal wives and lifelong partners, please read Races of the Dragon where they fuck just to make kids and further the tribe, don't take care of their own kids, and relationships with others are brief and nonromantic.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:59 No.6190458
    >>6190433
    Chaotic good illithid? Do tell, I've never heard that one before.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)15:59 No.6190460
    >>6190430
    Seconding, we need a beholder reacting to a party of adventurers in a manner similar to a traditional housewife finding a Mouse Guard party in the kitchen.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:01 No.6190480
    >>6190440

    That may be because they're obsessed with the perfection of their own form and are disgusted by the thought that they could sire such inferior little maggots.
    >> Blackheart 10/08/09(Thu)16:01 No.6190485
    >>6190458
    I think it was in the Book Of Exalted Cheese. I felt sick after reading that book.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:04 No.6190515
         File1255032290.gif-(19 KB, 457x1192, 1231346023937.gif)
    19 KB
    >>6190446
    You make this one sad...
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:06 No.6190532
    >>6190446
    I've read Quintessential Kobold, on my part, which gives quite a different, more positive kind of image.

    I'm more inclined to follow that one, whether it's more canon or not.
    >> Blackheart 10/08/09(Thu)16:08 No.6190552
         File1255032514.jpg-(307 KB, 978x850, 1166347238nek0gamidndeezp5.jpg)
    307 KB
    >>6190515
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/08/09(Thu)16:09 No.6190564
    Oh wow, this thread's still up. Sweet!

    Also the Gnoll guy's still going. Well, he's diligent.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:11 No.6190577
    >>6190564

    Funny you should mention that. I have to go, got some things to do.

    Later, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:11 No.6190581
    I request doppleganger
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:11 No.6190583
    wait, did the writefag just leave?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:14 No.6190608
    >>6190583

    yep
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:15 No.6190626
    noooooo damn!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:16 No.6190642
    Well, it depends mostly on what the setting the kobold is found in. A typical Kurtulmak worshiping kobold would likely not ever consider the possibility of love, and wouldn't show any romantic interest in a human, due to the simple fact that reproduction is an impossibility. However, I would figure that if the human was engaged with the tribe and was in high standing, some kobolds, practically the more independent minded ones, would perhaps show interest just out of a sense of duty. Sort of like royal marriages that did less to promote feelings or have offspring rather than promote the interests of the kingdom and strengthen the bond between families/communities. And perhaps the more ambitious ones would simply hope the human's status and power "rubs off" on them.

    A kobold outside of a tribe, however, could likely develop a deep connection with a person, since kobolds, even those outside of a tribe, have a need to become part of a family or a group of comrades. Since most of the racial attitudes of kobolds come from their worship of Kurtulmak and their paranoia, once those are removed and the urge to bond with others becomes powerful enough, I think a rather deviant or open-minded kobold could do well with anything, although, of course, such kobolds would be a rarity.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:17 No.6190652
    >>6190583
    >>6190608

    Dangit.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:18 No.6190664
    thank allah no fucking newfags said
    mudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmu
    dkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudk
    ipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkip
    smudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsm
    udkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmud
    kipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudki
    psmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkips
    mudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkipsmudkips
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:21 No.6190699
         File1255033289.gif-(142 KB, 906x839, 1248755798837.gif)
    142 KB
    >>61906421
    ...he said 'rub off'!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:22 No.6190715
    >>6190664
    What?

    ...No wait, don't answer that.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:24 No.6190729
    >>6189309
    wow. talk about liberty and total disregard of the races background.

    try actually reading about them...

    catfolk mate for life, and are ferociously loyal. they are quick to anger and to forgive, and are closer to nature than most other races. they get along with any race, but are closer to races like elves and gnolls who live in tune with nature. their favored class is ranger. even with their deities, they tend to be loyal to only one deity to the point of exclusion of all other deities, usually a nature god of some sort. they live in grasslands and plains areas, with a tribal system determined by markings.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/08/09(Thu)16:27 No.6190767
    >>6190729
    Er...
    Gnolls don't get along with any race that isn't Hyena-related.
    Period.

    Also no respect for anything, nature included.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:29 No.6190794
    >>6190767

    read races of the wild. the catfolk even get along with gnolls. a hard feat to grasp, but they are that congenial. pretty much neutral, they dont bend in either good nor evil, so they tend to let things be as they are and chalk it up to "its natures course" usually catfolk are barbarians rangers and druids.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/08/09(Thu)16:30 No.6190799
    >>6190794
    Oh, shit, I forgot, whooole 'nother setting.

    Sorry about that!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:35 No.6190849
    >>6190799

    greyhawk basic dnd. not faerune or ebberon. :) ebberon has catfolk types but those are shifters, and they annoy me. mostly cause of 4e.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/08/09(Thu)16:36 No.6190862
    >>6190849
    Yeah, I was going off base-4e.

    Yeah, yeah, I know, everyone hates it, but I enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:36 No.6190864
         File1255034195.jpg-(34 KB, 256x400, char_deekin.jpg)
    34 KB
    >>6190642
    >A kobold outside of a tribe, however, could likely develop a deep connection with a person, since kobolds, even those outside of a tribe, have a need to become part of a family or a group of comrades. Since most of the racial attitudes of kobolds come from their worship of Kurtulmak and their paranoia, once those are removed and the urge to bond with others becomes powerful enough, I think a rather deviant or open-minded kobold could do well with anything, although, of course, such kobolds would be a rarity.

    Deekin is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:38 No.6190879
    >>6190849

    >angry that someone lacks an encyclopedic knowledge of catfolk

    >angry because of 4e

    Can it be? Are you that most legendary of creatures, the furry grognard?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:39 No.6190899
    >>6190862
    4e is for faggots and niggers. ARE YOU A FAGGOT, NIGGER?!

    >>6190879
    this made me shoot soda out my nostrils
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/08/09(Thu)16:41 No.6190914
    >>6190899
    NOSAH MASSAH, I DUNNO WHAT YOUS BE TALKIN ABOUT MASSAH!
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:41 No.6190929
    looks like this thread's in autosage, did someone archive?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:47 No.6191003
    >>6190864

    YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND INDENTIFY MY STUFF!
    >> lilith 10/08/09(Thu)16:57 No.6191133
    Someone archived it, yes. But this thread is too awesome to die!

    ...I could take over the original writefag's duties, or something. I don't have much else to do for the next 2 hours. Any requests?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)16:59 No.6191168
    >>6191133

    fallen succubi?
    >> lilith 10/08/09(Thu)17:08 No.6191267
    Fallen succubi...hmmm.

    Succubi are known as insatiable lovers, and this holds no less true for those who have chosen to abandon their evil ways. They can last for hours, no matter how tired their partners become. However, their desire to please means that they will also try to please their lovers instead of selfishly striving only for their own satisfaction, and they're up for anything. No kink is too weird or biologically impossible for a succubus.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)17:36 No.6191627
    how about genies?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)17:45 No.6191744
    Voting for genies and still waiting on the tieflings.

    Sahuagin are pretty cool, so what about a relationship with a malenti (mutant sleeper agent)?
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)17:48 No.6191784
    Oooh! Yuan-ti.
    >> Anonymous 10/08/09(Thu)18:10 No.6192113
    Paizo already handled the tieflings.

    Low self esteem means that they're prone to being stuck in abusive relationships, and an insane level of spite makes them the ex from Hell. Very clingy.



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