You evil motherfucker.

Why the hell did I save this comic?

I personally crunch those ones open with my teeth. Works handily enough.

>>6128015
Your dentist must love you.

>>6128024
I do the same thing, and I never had any dental problems.

>>6128024
What sort of shit teeth must you have that you can damage them from biting open a pistachio?

You know the taste you get when you drink orange juice right after you brush your teeth? I LIKE that taste!

You know the equipment you ordered delived to your house? I'm the one who made sure it was late!

>>6128208

You're the cause of everything wrong with the world.

You, you... DOUBLE MEANIE.

>>6128199
Christian morality teeth.

>>6128208
You think you're hardcore, huh? Well, I'm the guy who bleaches colors and puts those vertical lines on old movies!

>>6127798
> Old. I already read this on the far superior http://www.anertalk.com/ (aner = anon) last night.
I second this.

While you were on your way here, I made a visit to your home. Your wife and children were all waiting there for your return and boy were they suprised when I came knocking...My guards grabbed them and I leant sweetly into your daughters ear and whispered to her.
Can you guess what I told her?
Theres no such person as Santa, it's just daddy in a suit.
Then I went and dealphabetised your CD collection!
MWHAHAHA!!!

ITT: How to make the most hated BBEG in existence.

You know when someone calls you, and you've been sleeping but you dont want your caller to know that, so you mobilise whatever energy you can muster to try and not sound like you've been asleep, only to fail miserably and sound ridiculous?

Yeah. I'm the guy that called.

You're all small time.
I own a machine that allows me to exit out of anny door in existance!
And I use it to hide in small childrens closets and jump out at them wearing a bogey man mask!!!

You know how everytime you enter the sea, your balls travel all the way up to your fucking lungs because of the cold?

Yeah. Im the guy that came up with the idea of swimming.

You know how it's impossible to eat Toblerone without hurting your mouth in some way?

yeah. im the guy that handed you that Toblerone.

>>6128551

Fukken lol'd. So true.

>>6128498

Poor concept, poor realization. Work on your fail.

>>6128551
>>6128568
You two have a fucking developmental disorder. You break off a "peak", you turn it "flat", and you bite it in half.

>>6128551

You hurt yourself eating a toblerone? Goddamn you are retarded.

You know how everytime some driver in the street stops and waves to you to get across the street, you always walk the first 2 steps and jog the rest, making you feel ridiculous towards the crowd nearby? Maybe you even continue to jog for 4-5 steps afterwards so you dont look like a dork.

Yeah. Im the guy in the car.

You know how sometimes when you flush, the toilet overflows even though you did everything as usual? I'm the guy who makes sure toilet seats are made that way.

>>6128577

Well excuse me for not having a mouth the size of a drainage pipe.

Im trying to do just that, bite the peak, but everytime i end up having it pinch my palate. And if i dont hurt it on the first try, i might do so at the second.

>>6128594
Oh god I hate you so so much.

>>6128551
Who the fuck eats Toblerone?

You know how every time you get in the bath the phone rings so you have to get out and answer it in case its important?

Yeah, I'm the guy outside your window taking pictures.

>>6128637
Yeah? Well I'm the one calling and putting it down before you can answer!

>>6128608

You break it off with your fingers, numbnuts.

>>6128608
Are you a...fuck, what is it now...are you a little person?
Like, a midget?
Seriously. I just need to know how you're actually unable to get a half-inch equilateral triangle into your mouth and bite it off the remaining wide base without causing yourself harm.

Let's try this...

You know how everytime you try to write something on a DVD, you think of a suitable font size for your letters to be able to squeeze the phrase in the tight space, but you always end up needing more space, and never the other way around?

Yeah. im the guy that makes sure DVDs stay at that size.

You know that park bench you like to eat your lunch on?

I'm the guy that covers it in gum.

>>6128646
>>6128637
>>6128495

BBEG fight to the death incomming

>>6128656

CHOCOLATE ON MY HAND IS BAD

>>6128663
No, im not a dorf, directly the opposite. But seriously, i fail every damn time, and it seems im not alone. i end up tasting my own frakking blood every time i finish the damn thing!

>>6128698
>CHOCOLATE ON MY HAND IS BAD
Okay, yeah, if you're trying to just gnaw the entire fucking chocolate spike strip at once like a bear, I can't help you. YOU HAVE TO BREAK PIECES OFF AND EAT THOSE.

You know how you're speaking with someone on the phone, and you or him accidentally hang off? And then you both try to call each other, and you get the "busy" tone?
And then both of you decide to wait for the other one to call you, so you both end up waiting, with the same pattern repeating itself for another minute or so?

Yeah. im the guy that made telephones that way.

>>6128715

You know, i understand that this is the only way to do it. Everytime i try it though, no matter how dry or cold my hands are, they always get covered in chocolate after i touch it.

And if i break it using paper tissue or the tinfoil packaging of it, little chocolate shards fly out messing with my desk/shirt/room, even if im holding it in a plate!

>>6128756
Stop fucking eating them, then.

>>6128774

But it's so delicious!

You know when you forget a book for a flight, and desperately at the last minute buy one you've no idea what it's about? And then you read it, and not only is it horribly written but is the opposite of all your world views?

Yeah, I wrote that book.

>>6128756
Peel away only the top the foil from one piece. Maybe halfway down. Slip your thumb in between it and the next wrapped piece, nail towards the exposed chocolate, as far down as it will go. Grip the bar right at the edge of the underside of that piece, and push with the thumb.
It -should- pop free.

>>6128756
Jesus fucking Christ. How can you fail this hard at eating chocolate?

>>6128756
I'm the one who made toblerones that way.

I worked as a telemarketer for three months.

>>6128819

This technique, i will give a try. Got a bar next to me for dinner.

>>6128824
Have you seen its shape?

We need more every day things, by the way. Come on /tg/, be creative.

>>6128834
I did telephone surveys for a year.

You know how you fall asleep just after lunch, and you wake up to find it's gotten dark, and you suddenly dont know what day it is?

Hi, im the sun.

You know when you go into a public toilet and all the stalls are missing except one? And that one has a massive puddle of piss on the seat, but you won't use the other ones because otherwise the door will swing open?
I'm the dude who goes around breaking the fucking locks off...and my brother is the guy who pisses on the seats.

>>6128834
>>6128866
you motherfuckers.

>>6128897

FUCK
YOU
DAMN

You know when you're walking in the street, and you want to fart discreetly, but it always ends up making some kind of sound?

And then you start shuffling your feet or making whatever else sound you can so it doesnt seem like you farted?
And you fail miserably?

Yeah. Im the guy in the crowd that just made the remark "Hey, did this guy just fart?"

You know when you're climbing the stairs, and you reach the top of it but still believe there's one step left, and you almost lose your balance?
Possibly looking silly if you're with someone else?

Yeah. Im the guy that removed that last step.

Personally, I bite on the top and the bottom of the toblerone triangle with my molars then twist the whole damn bar downwards and it usually snaps right off.

I tend to get the delicious nougahty bits stuck between my teeth, though.

You know that one die roll you really need to come up a success, where the die ends up spinning and spinning and spinning forever, and you can tell that it's about to land right on the number you need, but then it spins just a little further and ends up cocked and you have to reroll it?

I'm that die.

>>6129002

Im the guy that adds them.

you know when your making out with your honey and the phone rings and you answer it and the voice is what are you doing wif my daughter and she says my dad is dead?
I WAS PHONE

>>6129002
MOTHERFUCKING NOUGAT
GOD DAMN

>>6129014

GAMESCIENCE DICE DOES NOT DO THAT, BECAUSE IT'S PERFECT AND LET'S TOTAL, TRUE RANDOMISATION TAKE PLACE.

>>6129030

That, along with everything else, just did it. Im laughing uncontrollably now.

Is this thread deemed by you as archive-worthy?

namefaggotry

You know when you're in a car driving fast, and you're not the driver, and you open the window and decide to try out Aerodynamics?

yeah. im the guy driving the car behind you, laughing at how ridiculous your hand waves look.

You know when you move house and need a new cable line installed so you call the company and get told that the cable guy will be over at the 12th June?

I'm the guy taking your call and I've booked the cable guy to come around on the 3rd November.

You know about masterwork bastard swords in the d20 system? I made that shit.

>>6129107
Thank you so much. That is some finely wrought copypasta.

>>6129099

Every. Damn. Time. ;_;

same with plumbers

>>6129093

FUCK YOU I WANNA FLY

You know when your playing 40k, and your opponent has an obvious way of beating you, but is too dumb to realize it. Im the guy who points that method out.

You know when you have an important roll coming up, and some spectator waves their hand and says "this was not the roll youre looking for". You then roll a bunch of ones? Thats me.

You know that guy at the tournament. The one who wins his first game, does average in his second. But then gets placed against some joker round three, and massacres him? He then takes your spot? Thats me.

You know that guy who reserves all EIGHT of his eldar grav tanks in 2000 points? thats me

You know when you're about to fall asleep, but suddenly your whole body twiches and you wake the fuck up?

Yeah. Im a ghost. Sorry.

You know when you're playing Dawn of War and the Eldar player has five invisible bases all through the map, two of which are actually right next to your base? (Like, literally, some of the buildings are touching.) And he's got Wraithlords on overwatch with the rally points set right at your base, while his aspect army runs around wrecking your shit?

That's me.

>>6129189
You god damn hypnic jerk.

I`m the one who designed toblerone to be tasty but hurting the people who try to eat it

>>6129201

hypnic?

>>6129205

Nyu barftud!

I am Cassern Sebastian Goto.

You know that guy who goes out on a date after hanging out at the LGS while you get to go home and fap? thats me

You know the guy who puts orange juice in his cereal? Thats me

You know the surprisingly fit guy at the LGS? Thats me. I live on pickles, cottage cheese, tomatoes, water, cranberry juice, and pepperjack cheese. Sometimes i eat a bagel or pasta, but only sometimes.

>>6129216
JFGI

>>6129192
You know that marine player who teams up with two guard guys. He spends the game hiding behind their castle, and then teleporting fucking everything into your base? thats me.

>>6129228
/thread

>>6129228
Get the fuck out

>>6129232
If I say your name three times, will you go away?

>>6129260
No, but ill rape your only prospective GF. I will also fill an army case with rocks, and switch that one out for yours while you are taking a piss at the game store.

you know, I just stick my incisors into the cranny between two toblerone peaks and turn the toblerone 45 degrees downward. It breaks the toblerone, and if you're doing it right, will break on the teeth so as to avoid palette damage.

I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to hurt yourself on a toblerone before today. how hard is it to eat -candy- you guys?

>>6129048

Fuck you, you're a fucking fail piece of shit.

You know how everytime you sleep in a bed next or below a window, you close the shutters, afraid that you might look up and see a figure looking in, staring you in the eyes?

Yeah. im the guy outside, but you always close the goddamn shutters!

You know how sometimes /tg/ is really really easy to troll, and it seems like some people on it are almost intentionally feeding the troll in order to accidentally the whole thread?

We are.

>>6129283

Guilty for laughing so much at this thread, because all of these things are true.

But i havent archived yet, so cease the cursing at once.

>>6129093
I'll never meet you. I don't care what you think.
WHEEEEE AERODYNAMICS!

>>6129304

You're still a fucking cocksucker. You fucking ruined this potential-worthy thread with your underaged down's syndrome of FAIL.

>>6129317

but how?
ALSO STOP USING FAIL AS A FUDGING NOUN >:C

>>6129317
what... the hell are you talking about?

I'm confused at what you're pissed at, but I wanted you to know something.

you know how sometimes you'll sit on a clean looking public toilet, and it won't be cold? and you'll just be doing your business, and then realize that to be warm, the seat had to have JUST had a guy on it?
That guy was me.

>>6129351

Damn thee! A thousand times, damn thee!
I've been to a public toilet for the hard thing only ONCE, and halfway through my crapping i realised the seat was fucking WARM

NEVER AGAIN
NEVER AGAIN

you know how in some public toilets it's impossible to get more than a square or two at a time? yeah I designed those despensers.

>>6129391
Hate you so much.

>>6129031
What is this rage about nougat?
I fucking love 3 Musketeers (Milky Way out of US), it's a 100% nougat candybar

You know when you're mowing through some Bloodletters and all of a sudden some Daemonettes get that +2 up your ass?

I'm that Daemons player.

You know that special public toilet bogroll that's sandpaper on one side and laminated on the other, so it just spreads it around instead of soaking it up? I invented that.

>>6129391
Were you also the guy who designed the paper for those dispensers? You know the the really thin paper, so you're left with the choice of trying to spend six minutes getting a decent wad of paper or just using a few and taking the risk that the paper will tear and get shit all over your hands.

>>6129338
>FUDGING
holy fucking christ

>>6129431
What? WHAT?

What kind of faggot doesn't love Milky Ways?

You know when you drop a mechanical pencil and you hope to hell and back that the lead inside isn't broken?

I'm the guy that makes sure it is.

>>6129431
What? That's not nougat you dumb son of a bitch - and Canada has 3 Musketeers, they're fucking awesome, except the Mint Dark Chocolate ones are shit - that's whipped chocolate stuff. Nougat is that hard, almost-unchewable shit you sometimes get in Xmas chocolates that immediately affixes itself to every single nook and cranny in your teeth.

Hey guys, you know that annoying bastard at the theatre that talks during the movie?

I'm that guy.

And I like doing what I did.

>>6129048
Agouri you son of a bitch, why did you let TGC go down?

>>6129317
fuck you asshole

>>6129452
no, that existed before I made the dispensers. I just made you choose between sitting on the toilet for minutes getting enough paper and getting shit on your hand.

>>6129473
No it's not. Nougat is that fluffy shit in like Snickers bars and stuff. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about.

You know when you're with a female friend, and you spat out something that seems really cool at that moment?
Then go home to realise how stupid was that thing you said, and you spend the 2 followind days thinking about how you just ruined your relationship?

Yeah. Im that girl. And i cant believe you said something so retarded, man, i feel embarassed just thinking about you saying it.

>>6129473
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3_Musketeers_%28confectionery%29

>It is filled with a center made of nougat and whipped chocolate

it's flavored nougat

and yes, the mint ones are shite

>>6129497
fuck you, you couldn't you have said something at the time?

>>6129512
*why couldn't you

>>6129494
...we are both correct.
You are talking about white nougat, while I am talking about brown nougat, which is the traditional variety.

>>6129512
>>6129517
Wow, way to say something retarded.

>>6129497
In my defence, it's hard to come up with clever phrases while I'm thinking of throwing you against a wall, pushing down hard on your shoulders and fucking you really, really rough from behind while I whisper in your ear that you're a filthy slut and you love it.

I mean, I'm a LITTLE distracted. Have some consideration.

>>6129488

You mean the channel? I get 2 hours of pc time every couple of days, save for sunday, so i couldnt possibly moderate it. Helpful Comrade and Can a bus dream were great mods too, but two or three from those that became admins of the channel later on were bad. Used to ban people all the time for not wanting the same fucking movie streaming for the 5th time.

So i cant risk it now. And the channel went down as well :>
It's going back up when i finish my studies this year, have no fear.

>>6129534

Because you haven't? Everyone goes through it once in a while.

Except if you've got no friends or contacts whatsoever, which i dont believe is the case. at least here in /tg/

>>6129534
what >>6129535 said.

I'm the guy who occasionally derails threads by making offhand conservative comments that liberals go batshit insane over turning the thread into a political shitstorm. The best part is that I'm not even American.

No need to thank me.

>>6129556
Way to miss the joke, fuckface.

>>6129634

Why so moody today, kind anon.
Sit down, write us the story.

Maybe contribute to the thread while you're at it.

>>6129556

Implying /tg/ has friends

>>6129670
Already have, but you didn't know this because I'm not a fucking tripfag.

You know how you spend all day thinking about your favorite tv show, and how you just can't wait till they day it comes on. And it's a repeat? i'm the scheduling guy

>>6129690
Hm. On one hand, you are being a most quarrlesome cunt. But on the other, people who tripfag for no fucking reason are also douchebags.

In conclusion, YOU ARE BOTH SUSPENDED.

>>6129681

>implying without using >s to imply

>>6129702
DAMMIT

>>6127804

>Old. Read that on w w w . anertalk . c o m (aner = anon)
Wow! This thread is awesome!

>>6129731
Oh. You're THAT guy.

You know that guy who texts every now and then while playing. And when you ask him who hes texting he sends you a pic of some hot girls tits that said girl just sent him? You want to tell him to pay attention, but you realize that you are a social failure so you dont say anything? You then spend the rest of the game horny/angry/feeling ackward, so you lose? Thats me. Beat a guard player at the ard boyz with that trick.

>>6129740
>ard boyz

Oh, I bet he was.

Gee, thanks for ruining this thread with your retarded shit as fast as you can make it up, tripfag.
I'd lay money, 10 to 1, on underage b&.

>>6129739

>Old. Read that on w w w . anertalk . c o m (aner = anon)
I think i've met you at school :)

THE BOT IS TALKING TO ME

>>6129036
Go back to bed Lou.

You know those potholes in the road that are always in spots that aren't lit up by streetlights and are always filled with water?

Yeah, I'm the guy who tore up the road and pissed in those holes.

You know how, in a drawfag thread, everyone seems to be getting his request drawn but you?

Yeah. Im the guy making up something more interesting than you. Nobody wants to draw your personal character, just think of something original!

>>6129781

NOT UNTIL YOU BUY MY SUPERIOR DICE.

you know that guy who spams 4chan with anontalk ads and porn vids with that suicidegirl? yeah I'm not him but nothing I could possibly do in this life is as bad as that.

You know how you're out with friends during a sunny day, and you absolutely don't want to get sweaty and have people look at you dripping vile liquids from your facial pores?

Well, fuck you, im the goddamn sun

>>6129837

Yes, i sweat copious amounts of water when exposed to heat.

I thought it was one of the most human things to do.

>>6129837
FUCK YOU!

>>6129869
Oh man, I wish I could.

Can you even imagine what sex with the Sun would be like?

>>6129881
hot?

>>that guy
Robots aren't people.

>>6128551
>>6128568
>>6128577
>>6128589
What the fuck is a Toblerone?

Also, I have all you guys beat. Two words:
Brown
Squares

>>6129894

AND SWEATY.

Also fuck you, sun BBEG. I dont want to sweat only in my god darned face!

>>6129958
>What the fuck is a Toblerone?
Pic related.

>Also, I have all you guys beat. Two words:
>Brown
>Squares
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

>>6129958

One of the best and most delicious chocolate brands out there.
But just look at the shape of it...

>>6129990


it's also very expensive...

>>6130014
Get a job.

>>6130014

Yes, that too. Unreasonably, seeing as the quantity of chocolate you're getting is just slightly more than the average bar.

But it's just so good, you cant put it back to the shelf

>>6130014
fuck off its expensive, your just a poorfag

>>6128853
>Got a bar next to me for dinner.
... tub of lard detected. i get chocolate on like rare occasions, not for dinner.

>>6128756
>>6128698
good lawd boy, you must be special. not even children even have this problem.

>>6129317
this guys right, sadly 'nuf. carry on!

>>6130026
There's a little thing called 'self-control' I'd like to speak to you about...

but seriously who fucking hurts themselves on a toblerone, that shit is so sad I get the sinking feeling I must be getting trolled.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE BROWN SQUARES, DAMN IT?!

>>6130100
melted toblerone

There are two basic kinds of nougat: white and brown. White nougat (which appeared in Montélimar, France, in the 18th century) is made with beaten egg whites and is soft, whereas brown nougat (called nougatine in French) is made with caramelized sugar and has a firmer, often crunchy texture.

>>6130184
I already said that, god damn it.

>>6129031
>>6129021
Well, I happen to tolerate nougat stuck in my teeth, because it means I can store it for later.

Mmm, delicious chocolatey aftertaste.

>>6130084

Toblerone does not cause a psychosis, it's just good enough that you will be getting some of it whenever you want chocolate.

And i guarantee you, i've hurt myself in SOME way everytime i try and eat one. Gum dent, thin-gum-just-above-tooh cut, pallete jab, you name it.

It's a sad thing, really.

I'm picking up one of these fuckers on my way to work today. I have to find out how you can hurt yourself on one. Hell, I used to eat these things frozen.

>>6130285
I chipped a tooth on a frozen Abba Zaba once.

>>6130291
HOT DAMN I WANT ONE
Stupid Canada.

>>6130060
>>6129750
>>6129634
>>6129317
>>6129089

OH GEE i wonder if samefag

man if you can't handle toblerone, just get a crunchy bar

SAME THING

>>6130310
>>6129750 here, my only post in the thread that wasn't trying to teach Agouri how to eat a Toblerone. In short, kind "Anonymous" KingInYellow, eat a bowl of baby dicks.

>>6130318

Not american, wouldn't know what that thing you're referring to is, kind sir.

>>6130310
You wonder wrong, only two of those were me

>>6130330
It's milk chocolate with rice crisps in it. It's not really the same thing at all.

>>6130326
Im the anon that made the 'Fucking Stupid' remark. Not King in yellow. Try harder next time, chump. If you don't enjoy the thread, leave.

rolled 1 = 1

OP, I feel your pain.

>>6130369

Ooh, i see. Hardly the same as Toblerone, is it?

>>6130369
That's a crunch bar. Is a crunchy bar the same thing as a crunch bar?

>>6130407
It's also a wide, flat bar.
It's in very few ways like a Toblerone, in fact. I mean, it's more like a Toblerone than Skittles are, but as chocolate goes Toblerone is pretty unique.

Not only is Toblerone spiky, it has the consistency of granite.

Fuck if it isn't tasty though, especially the white chocolate version. I always get a Snowblerone for Christmas.

>>6130438
Maybe if you eat it frozen. I always found it melted very easily.

jesus christ what the hell is wrong with you people?

you know the tripfag that derails a conversation by displaying ridiculous amounts of ineptitude? I told him about 4chan at a con.

ITT: OP is a bad host.

>>6130687

hm? who's derailing what?

Thread archived, look on the far bottom.

For those amongst us too lazy to type the adress in:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Vote it up. It deserves it.

>>6130723

Can you imagine guests visiting his house?
"Why aren't you having any pistachios?"
"What, those? I thought they were pebbles"

>>6130831

...That was bad. You should probably feel bad for writting that.

You know that bot advertising anustalk?
Yeah...
>Old. Read that on w w w . anertalk . c o m (aner = anon)

You know how you've got yourself a nice choke point, you've defended it nice and goot, got a neat line of your forces ready to shoot at everything that comes into their kill zone?
And then a couple of Baneblades randomly pop up from the desert behind your lines, literally out of thin air, and start raping your shit?

Yeah. Wondered how they came to be there? Well, so do i. I mean, that kind of thing would require some kind of tactical geniu--

Snickers are far superior to milky ways.

>>6131055

Must... not... say it.... scream it...

>>6131055
Creed?

>>6131111

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD

>>6129740
Works even better if you do it to a girl.