THAT'S JUST WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO THINK

Tarrasque has max ranks in Bluff, OP has clearly failed his Sense Motive check.

>>5789960
You're just mean! Don't be mean to poor Tarry! He's just lonely! There's only one of him after all. All he wants is a friend!

Tarrasque is actually just a misunderstood chaotic god entity. All his eating villages and whatnot is an urgent appeal at the mortal races to shed their materialism and greed and renounce their worldly needs. He's a performance artist, so to speak.

>>5789987
Even that's misunderstood, because next Tarrasquemas, he'll bring them back all shiny and new from his workshop in the center of the Earth where he was fixing all the broken things he ate.

Look.. look at those eyes. So wide, full of innocence.

It couldn't possibly be wilfully malevolent!

The tarrasque is friend to all children, and this has been well known for a long time. He can be a little clumsy sometimes though, so it helps to watch out and make sure he notices you. Remember, if you can't see the Tarrasque's eyes, HE CAN'T SEE YOU!

>>5790025

Every year on Tarrasquemas, the Tarrasque emerges from his workshop in the middle of the earth and walks through the streets of town giving out gifts to the good little girls and boys. If you were good all year, you can run out into the street and play with the Tarrasque, riding on his giant carapaced back and running alongside his powerful, earthshaking feet.

We don't talk about what happens to the bad little girls and boys. :(

You can tell he's good because his eyebrows slant upwards toward the middle. Clear sign of emotional availability.

I can't wait for Tarrasquemas! :o

>>5790075
>We don't talk about what happens to the bad little girls and boys. :(

He looks at them with big, sad, disappointed eyes. His love is all-encompassing, and so it breaks his big, big heart when people are mean.

>>5790110
Dashing through the snow
On his carapace we sway
Through the streets we go
Laughing all the way

Thundrous is his stride
Collossal is his size
What fun it is to ride atop
The Tarrasque's massive thighs

OH!

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way
Oh what fun it is to play with Tarrasques all the day, HEY!
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way
Oh what fun it is to play with Tarrasques all the day!

The Tarrasque only eats adventurers because to him, they smell like cake.

What date is Tarrasquemas? Whe here where i come form don't celebrate it, but we are interessted in all that have to do with the tarrasque.

>>5790182
I didn't think anyone saved this picture.

>>5790182
Another misconception. He doesn't eat adventurers, he lifts them up and carries them away to a safe place in his loving jaws, like a momma cat with her kittens.

..........Fuck.

This calls for a Deathstrike Missle with a Vortex Warhead, and a Three Wishes ring.

>>5790200
Don't be mean to Tarry! He's my fwiend!

Ugh...Do we have a epic mage around to see if their trapped in an illusion or not?

I don't trust The Tarrasque.

>>5790246
It's okay. The Tarrasque loves you anyway :)

>>5790246
There is no illusion.

Only the Tarrasque's compassion.

Man, are you kidding me? Have you seen the Baloonrasque picture, with the Tarrasque lashed to the blimp?

I will tell you what, that motherfucker has not a fuck to give. Never before have I seen a creature so happy; I think we can ALL stand to learn a little from Baloonrasque and his easygoing, happy-go-lucky attitude.

I call to order the first planning commitee for our glorious new holiday, Tarrasquemas. We need to work out the specifics and spread the word to gaming groups everywhere. This will become bigger than Worldwide Gaming Day!!!!!

Our first order of business is to set a date.

From the Book of Mooks, Chapter 23

23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Faerun, there they struck him down to -10 HP, and there they made a wish for his destruction.
23:34 Then said the Tarrasuqe, Ao, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his carapace, and cast lots for his horns and loot.
23:35 And the NPCs stood beholding. And the adventuerers also with them derided him, saying, He ate others; let him save himself, if he be Tarrasque, the Epic Level Solo.

The Tarrasque got my kitty out of a tree!
I mean... my cat was squished in the process... BUT HE WAS TRYING DAMN IT!

I believe in the Tarrasque!

>>5790284
I think today is Tarrasquemas :) Every day is Tarrasquemas if you keep the Tarrasque in your heart.

Tarrasque- "Change we can believe in."

Tarrasquemas is henceforth to be celebrated on the Ninth of September every year.

Elminster is the personal helper of the Tarrasque. Every Tarrasquemas he casts a Once-In-A-Year Beyond Epic Time Stop spell so that the Tarrasque can visit all the children of Faerun in a single night.

>>5790188
I'm the guy who requested it, of course I was gonna save it.

If you think about it, the Tarrasque could probably feed starving villages quite easily just by snipping off little parts of himself, since they'll grow back superfast anyway.

>>5790268
Here you go.

this is fantastic.

I wanna know when tarrasquemas is :)

>>5790358
are you perchance blinded by your love for tarrasque?
>>5790325

>>5790325

I knew something good would happen on 09/09/09. The first Tarrasquemas!

>>5790325
I'll bake the Tarrasque shaped sugar cookies!

Hmm...these things are temperamental....

`Continues tinkering with the Deathstrike Launcher`

This is a religion now, isn't it.

>>5790401

The Tarrasque loves all, regardless of religious affiliation :)

How can we celebrate this within our gaming groups?

. . . by celebrating Tarrasquemas in your campaign?

>>5790410

Bring cakes and sausages to your next gaming session. Before you eat, think on how important it is to be nice to your fellows, even if they, or indeed you, appear monstrous. Then eat cake and sausage and have fun.

Jolly Tarrasquemas to one and all.

>>5790401
It's as legitimately founded as any other religion.

>>5790410

Hmmm... The Tarrasque is all about eating things, so... Indulge in the mass consumption of all things edible?

>>5790432
Religious arguments are cotnrary to the spirit of Tarrasquemas :<

>>5790410
Have a Tarrasque wearing a Santa hat show up with gifts.

>>5790025
Actually in older editions it is a friend to children, it ignores them or will even try (very carefully) to play with them.

the best thing is its right next to 9/11!
two holidays celebrating destruction right next to each other?

>>5790450
9/11 isn't a holiday.

Kinda wish it was though, I could use the day off.

>>5790450
Tarrasquemas isn't about destruction, Tarrasquemas celebrates life.

09/09/09 - The First Tarrasquemas :D

>>5790470
Kinda like the First Founding.

OWAIT

I think the tarrasque is a pretty swell gal.

>>5790488
It was only a matter of time :(

>>5790493
why :(?
maybe through this, humans can understand the beauty that is tarrasque?

I require ways to make today more Tarrasquemas-y, /tg/!

Tell me, how does I paid homage to Tarrasquemas properly?

>>5790502
The tarrasuqe is beautiful enough without desecrating its holy scaly form with base sexual lusts. :(

>>5790506
Decorate the tarrasque with lights and garlands.

I reeeaaally hope this thread gets archived. The world must know of Tarrasquemas.

The dwarf elders spun stories to the young hairy chinned children of a day where the ground rumbles, announcing the return of the Tarrasque. The boys and girls who had behaved for their parents and were kind to all others could leave the caves to the surface, where they could recieve gifts from the magnificent beast.

>>5790432

No, it's from 4chan. It's not legitimate at all!

In Spelljammer there was a planet fully inhabitated by Tarrasque, what by some strange reason where docile and nice like cows and just consume rocks. Is only when they put a paw on another planet when they become "rawr, I'm a mongstah!".
By the way, in Tarrasquemas you should eat until your stomach get stuffed?.

>>5790488
i think someone isn't going to get a present this year...

>>5790540
You got your wish! Merry Tarrasquemas!

100 internets to the first person to bake a tarrasquemas cake

>>5790578
hopefully the thread will stay alive.

Thread needs moar Tarrasque.

Even if it doesn't, it has done its job. :) Merry Tarrasquemas to all, and to all a good . . . day. . . or night. . . or. . . whatever or whenever it is. . . what the fuck stupid internets. :P

I thought his ear was his eye.

It made the Tarrasque all the more d'aww.

>>5790506

Be kind and gentle to all living creatures; the Tarrasque does not ask you more than this.

Every now and then I remember why I love /tg/ :3

How can you look at this and not understand how kind and loving the Terrasque actually is?

It looked like his eye to me at first.

>>5790780
shh, quit with yo sense makin FOO

>>5790780
But if that's not his eye, where is his eye?

>>5790813
Those little bits at the top that looked like nostrils to me.

>>5790817
they look like horns for goringIMEAN... helping to push carts along.

>>5790824
I meant the little bits above the mouth, the little black spots.

>>5790817
But then where are his nostrils?

>>5790839
The world may never know...

>>5790645
reptiles....reptiles dont have ears. Earlobes, at least.

>>5790780
Maybe that IS his eye. Maybe he doesn't have any ears.

The poor thing can't hear anything. :'(

>>5790953
Maybe he can sense happiness.

>>5790984
thats why he loves children, otherwise his world would be bleak nothing without the love and laughter of children!

Someone, PLEASE ARCHIVE THIS.

>>5790984

"Why does all the happiness always disappear when I get near it?"

>>5789941
He looks more like he's crying to me...

Just look at that eye... so full of sadness...

>>5791032

He's sad because the whole world does not yet know his love :(

>>5791032
Probably because they're running away and all he wants to do is be friends with them.

>>5791032
Damn you. Now I'll never be able to look at that picture teh same again.

>>5791060
He's sad because we can't decide which parts are his eyes and which parts are his ears.

how do threads get archived? We need to retain Tarrasquemas for the ages, and get it recognised by the gaming community.

Disappointingly misleading picture unrelated.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5789941/

Keep it updated.

Tarrasquemas is going to contain gifts. What, to whom, when and how?

>>5791125
Required:
Plenty of food for everyone. Toys for the children.

In Tarrasquemas children should be gifted with Cutasque plushies.

We must make some mastercrafted cookie cut-outs shaped like Tarry!

>>5790450
Silly fook, the Tarrasque DID 9/11! You see, he's from France, and he was just swimming across the pond to check out how the statue of Liberty was doing, but well, he's a clumsy guy. Mistakes were made, but we all still love him.

The resulting Government coverup was just a ploy to spare his feelings and justify invading Iraq.

>>5791328
Aw, how nice of them.

>>5790780
that IS his eye.

On the first day of Tarrasquemas, the Tarrasque ate from me; a vorpal sword in a pear tree.

AD &D Tarrasque:

Apparently there’s only one in existence, which is good, because… check this out: 70 HD, -5 THAC0, 6 attacks per round, -3 AC, and you can only truly kill it if you reduce it to -30 hit points AND use a Wish spell?!?! You don’t FUCK with the tarrasque, my friends.

>>5791824
Is that a Deathclaw?

>>5790401
Note that this isn't a question, but a statement.
Although, it is wrong. Tarasquemas is a day for everyone.

>>5791716
Nobody can hate such a happy fat iguana.

It's a more recent Tarrasque.

Alternate shot of 3.5 Tarrasque.

>>5791999
What's that image from? I remember seeing it somewhere...dude's throwing the Wand of Orcus down the Tarrasque's throat.

I seem to remember one of my epic characters taming an adolescent tarrasque.

>>5792037
its something like elder evils or exemplars of evil or something like that. the website said it was from a web article called elite opponents: Tarrasque. But I know its in a 3.5 or something book.

>>5791987
Propaganda!

>>5791987

hes playing with the horsie so cute

>>5792113
today is a good day

I hereby accept this new holiday, and will refrain from all manual labor and eat until I pass out.

>>5792147
everyday is a holiday!

>He's not roaring, he's smiling. The little guys? They're not running AWAY from him, they're running ALONGSIDE him! Note how they're not flailing their arms around and screaming, they're laughing and gesturing for him to come and follow! They're his friends!

CANNOT UNSEE!

>>5792185
Why would you WANT to?

>>5789941

anyone ever notice the tarrasque has a HUGE underbite?

You are now imagining the tarrasque speaking with this voice.

>>5791999
"Tag! You're it!"

"DAwwww, you got me!"

>>5791987
>>5792113
In Tarrasquemas children leave beaked cookies of chocolate and horse meat in the front of their houses for when the Tarrasque come to deliver their gifts.

/tg/?

Never change.

I'm almost sad I missed today's campaign (I had to work)

NEEDS MOAR TARRASQUE

am I doin it rite?

I am currently int the process of making a recipe due to reading this.

Bits of Apples with cinnemon will be the spikes. I'm thinking something like mango the red. The base is basic pie dough. A fun experiment this will be.

>>5792675
HE looks so happy. He's like 'Yay, let's play!'

>>5789941
>he's smiling!

CANT UNSEE

This is /tg/.

Thats right, this is /Tarrasquemas, Gentlemen/.

Happy hey, Happy hey
The Tarrasque is on his way
Hear the children, hear them cheer
"Tarrasque day's drawing near!"

Tarrasqueday: The official D&D day. It should probably fall on a Saturday or Sunday. Probably in the dead of winter so winter doesn't suck quite as much.

Official foods are sausage, cake and alcohol in all forms.

>>5792101
Pretty sure it's the back of the DMG2

>>5792911
Great day for the Dwarves then.

>>5792940
>Great Day for eveyone then.

Fixed that for you :3

Now I want a pet Horned toad.

>>5793458
If I had one, I'd name it Terry.

Close enough to Tarrasque, plus it works as a regular name.

>>5792922
i looked in mine and couldn't find it. but looking again, there it is. must have missed it.

>>5793572
Please up a high quality pic of it to replace this thumbnail!

I'm so baking a tarrasquemas cake right now.

brb buying ingredients

>>5793584
no camera , digital camera, webcam, scanner, cell phone cam etc to take pictures with, or the pdf.

If it's absurd enough, /tg/ will love it.


Merry Tarrasquemas.

You should make that tarrasquemas cake out of hardtack. Then it will be an invincible destroyer of worlds.

Does anyone know if a Tarrasque miniature exists?

>>5793584
Merry Tarrasquemas!
(with image this time!)

Oy lets get STOMPY!! BOYZ GIT THAT TARRAS.... oh Gork 'n Mork! We wuz so rong! Life ain't fer smashin' it's fer joy an' love. Tank ya Tarrasque, yous change all our livez!

>>5793804

FUCK YES JOZAN YOU ARE THE BEST CLERIC EVER.

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
The Tarrasque is coming to town

He's takin' a rest
Not wakin' up twice;
Hopin the adventurer's are nice
The Tarrasque is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
You know when he's awake
He's sorry if he thinks you're food
So try not to smell like cake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
The Tarrasque is coming to town
The Tarrasque is coming to town

>>5794347
My new wallpaper.

>>5793804
:D Fuck yeah 3rd ed Iconics! Playing fetch with Tarrasque!
Happy Tarrasquemas!

>>5794347
For reference I did this in paint and I would love to see someone with a working copy of photoshop (mine's screwy atm) and some actual artistic talent recreate this to match the base image in quality

Merry Tarrasquemas!

Keep the archive updated!

How the adventurers stole Tarrasquemas?

Holy fuck yes, campaign idea:

stop Grinchicus, a real bastard of an epic lich, from waking the Tarrasque too early and killing it before Tarrasquemas.

>>5794726

Stolen.

>>5790488

SHIT

Is that a monster girl of the Tarrasque?

WHY IS THERE A MONSTER GIRL OF THE TARRASQUE!

Wait...why HASN'T there been a monster girl of the Tarrasque?

Why aren't there MORE monster girls of the Tarrasque?

>>5794685
This needs to be done, now. Damnit, I don't have a copy of that book.

>>5794659
It updates automatically, man.

>>5794776
No, it doesn't. It updates by resubmitting it to the archive.

That horse was obviously hurt, or had a tstomache ache! Terresque was happily helping it along to a doctor or it's mommy with the villager leading the way.

>>5794750

*clears throat*

Long, long ago, in the land of [NAME REDACTED], Grandpa Tarrasque was beloved by all the people. Black and white; children and adult; man and women. Because every year on [DATE REDACTED], Gramps would fly from his mountain lair, lashed to a hot-air balloon, and throw presents to all the good people of the kingdom. Every year the king and queen would hold a celebratory feast for Tarrasque as he passed overhead, showering the people with gifts.

Yep, there were no frowns on Tarrasquemas, because Gramps knew that all people have good in their hearts, even when they act mean and unfriendly.

But one day...

A bunch of strange people came to [NAME REDACTED]. Some say they were a mean, miserly dwarf, a cruel, leather-clad dominatrix/sorceress, and a steroid-fueled paladin. Others say it was a wicked halfing thief, his heart filled with grasping, a double-DD elf-girl with a chainmail bikini, and a munchkin with two +8 Katanas of Stygian Bloodletting akimbo.

ut whoever they were, they wanted only one thing: the treasures of Grampa Tarrasque's workshop.

The moment they got into town, they went through each town, interrogating the people, stealing shit from their pots and drawers, and generally making nuisances of themselves. And they found out that Tarrasquemas was in three days time.

Slowly, one of them concocted a plan in his wicked little brain.

On Tarrasquemas Day, all the people were desperately afraid. "What will happen to Grandpa?" they said. The children all sobbed. Yes, there were sobs that Tarrasquemas.

So when Gramps arrived, he thought: 'Where are all the people in the streets? Where are all the people? Have they finally stopped believing in me?' A tear crept down Grandpa Tarrasque's cheek.

But then, he heard a whistling...

He turned his head just in time to see a barrage of flaming arrows flying towards him! He tried to escape, but to no avail. The arrows popped his balloon and set the hydrogen inside ablaze. Soon, Grandpa began to scream as he was bathed in fire. His balloon descended, crashing into the town in an eruption of fire.

And as the city burned, the people with it, the adventurers ran in with Cloaks of Anti-fire. Descending into the wreck they looted what was left of Tarrasque's bag, eyes glittering at the prospect of treasure. But they party screamed in rage when they realized it was nothing but children's toys and sweetmeats!

The End.

I truly and most sincerely love this thread.

Never change /tg/

>>5791824

Requesting this pic shooped to look like the Grinch!

Look, the Orks gave Mr. Tarrasque presents!

He loves his new clothes!

rolled 98 = 98

>>5795026

I have never hated adventuring groups more than right now, not even while reading that Goblins comic.

Every monster down in Fallcrest loved Tarrasquemas a lot.
But the munchkin who lived north of Fallcrest did not.
It could be because he was min-maxed too much.
It could be because he was greedy and such.
But the most likely reason he was so mean, they say
Was that he would rollplay, not roleplay, all day.

>>>/r/4789864

>>5795403
But whatever the reason, his stats or his play,
He stood there above the town before Tarrasquemas day.
For below he could see, every monster beneath,
Was happy now making an elven gut wreath.

"Now they're arranging encounters," he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow's Tarrasquemas, it's practically here!"
And he sneered with his munghkin dice nervously rolling,
"I must find a way to stop Tarrasquemas from coming!

"For tomorrow, you see, every goblin and ork,
"They'll exchange all their presents, they'll eat their long pork.
"Then they'll be happy and content, then they'll happily sing,
"It'll make me feel happy when rage is my thing."

>>5795026
D:

I think I am going to include in my campaign world a sleeping and mopey Tarrasque who doesn't like waking up and going outside because everyone always screams and shoots shit at him.

Dreams of finding an island somewhere where he can go swimming and eat whales and giant jellyfish that tickle his throat.

So he hitched up his sleigh to his warhorses heavy,
Which he'd min-maxed to go faster than a 54 Chevy.
With bags of holding and portable holes,
He raced down to the town laden down with ten foot poles.

With his sword he did lay waste to monsters left and right,
And thought he would slaughter all day and all night.
Racing past guards wearing seven-league boots.
To race back up home with his treasure and loots.

When to his dismay, he heard a terrible roar,
Scarier than anything he'd heard before.
And down through the streets raced a monster Colossal,
Twas the Tarrasque, that lovely old fossil!

Tarrasques are so awesome.

My last character was a Half-Tarrasque human cleric of Pelor.

The munchkin screamed and turned quite white
And pissed in his trousers, from terrified fright.
Seeing himself in the massive black eye,
He was quite certain that he would soon die,

But the Tarrasquemas spirit extends to one and all,
To good and to evil, to chaos and law.
And so he was led to a table, I think,
And given a glass of fine ale to drink.

A lovely roast sausage inside of a roll
Was placed in his hand by a kobold so droll.
And as he stood there, aghast and bemused,
The monsters stood round him and chuckled, all amused.

And the munchkin, with his munchkin-feet ice cold in the snow, stood INT-checking and INT-checking, how could it be so? It came without feats. It came without stats. It came without Paladins, Rogues or Bards. And he INT-checked and INT-checked ’till his dice were ground down. Then the munchkin thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Tarrasquemas, he thought, doesn’t have from a CR. What if Tarrasquemas, perhaps, needs a little bit more.

Shit, the campaign I'm in -- we had to slay him to please a silver ancient wyrm dragon and ended up rigging up 22 depth charges with our engineer that we originally made to slay 4 storm giants and ended up forcing him to swallow 11 charges and blowing him to bits. As his body blew apart and fell on the cavern floor, the wyrm came and wished him away...

Very fun fight, but we wept at our loss of a friend.

>>5795592 here
Different person from the other guy doing an ACTUAL job of it. Shine on you wonderful fa/tg/uy.

>>5795026

>>5795572
F5
F5
F-FUCKING-5

And then the littlest kobold of all,
Stood there before him, with his scarf oh so small.
"He said, silly, human, you don't comprehend,
"Today is Tarrasquemas, all conflict must end!"

"For tomorrow we'll go back to the things that we do,
"You'll try to kill us and we'll try to kill you.
"But until then, why don't we be nice to each other.
"For one day, let PCs and mobs be like brothers!"

Then the munchkin looked round him at the monsters so sweet,
And thought to himself, "That's a lot of XP."
He drew his sword then and he started to charge.
But was promptly crushed under a foot oh so large.

Today is Tarrasquemas, the day for good cheer,
But if you're an asshole, you're dead now, you hear?
Because Grampy Tarry's patrolling the streets.
So if you're not nice, you will wind up dead meats.

So drink up your ale and your eggnog so tasty,
And share with your friends some pudding that's hasty.
Give away presents for 1d4 days,
And let your GM know that he's doing okay.

Let's run with the Tarrasque as he bounds through the town,
And when the day's over, we'll see him burrow down,
To the center of the Earth where he'll sleep all the day
Dreaming of next year, the next Tarrasquemas Day.

>>5795403
>>5795471
>>5795523
>>5795572
>>5795592

Fawking Awsome!

;___; This thread is amazing.

>>5795170
Needs more dakka. Maybe zappa mounted on the back.

>>5795168

Seconded!

>>5795640

>>5791987
Aww, look... he's giving the man a horse... how sweet.

win

>>5795720
>pic
wat

What if somebody found a way to clone the Tarrasque? Congratulations, you now have a fucking army of Tarrasque.

You could make a pretty awesome campaign out of trying to defeat the baby Tarrasques before they can become fully grown. I'd wager that even infants could fuck your shit up in large numbers.

>>5795813
...Why would you do that?
They just want a HUG.

>>5795647
I agree. Now we just need You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch adapted to adventurers.

Keep the tarrasque alive, but under 0 HP.

Constantly harvest his hide.

Make tarrasque-hide armor.

>smiling

CANNOT UNSEE

requesting the pic of the adventurers stealing tarrasque's bra!

I humbly request a drawfag draw a group of malevolent adventurers stealing a giant sack of presents from the sleeping Tarrasque.

This thread is now /tg/ canon!

>>5795914
Provided everyone remembers, of course.

You're a mean one, Mr. Mage.
You really are a wrench.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Mage.


You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.


You're a monster, Mr. Brute.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of hacknslash,
You've got iron in your soul.
Mr. Brute.


I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

it would be pretty hard to keep him constantly alive AND under 0 hp AND harvest his hide

>>5795942
Remember, remember, the ninth of September?

But srs, it IS archived. We just need people to bring that up next year, and soon it shall become engraved in our consciousness.

>>5795913
Perhaps someone could shoop this?

>>5795976
i'm so marking it in my calendar, cellphone, room, dog, and everywhere i can

>>5795950
You're a vile one, Mr. Rogue.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender kindness
Of a rabid Dire Lion.
Mr. Rogue.


Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the rabid Dire Lion.


You're a foul one, Mr. Monk.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Monk.


The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

i came

>>5796021
You're a rotter, Mr. Bard.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Bard.


Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.


You nauseate me, Mr. 'Lock.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Warlock.


You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.

>>5795857
There was a huge thread about this on RPG.net a few years back. An entire city whose economy ran on the constant butchering of the Tarrasque.

>>5796065
ba-da-ba-da-na-naaaa
ba-da-ba-da-na-naaaa

>>5795913
What kind of sick twisted person would want to do that to the Tarrasque?

Adventurers are assholes. :o

>>5796160
ADVENTURERS
Those buggers will do anything to steal our Tarrasquemas!

What if someone cut the tarrasque in half?

Would each half regenerate into two new tarrasques?

>>5796227
One of the halves would regenerate, the other would wither up and die.

Gods damn you guys. I mean Gods. Damn.
This is fucking epic.
This is why I come here.
A happy Tarrasquemas for all and for all a natural 20.
Keep up the good work gentlemen.

I CAME BUCKETS

Every single one of the Suess-isms you guys have come up with, I've saved. I'm going to post them all on December 24th.

Happy Tarrasquemas.

God, I want to make this canon in my D&D games.

...

That's it, I will. From now on, the Tarrasque is a pretty swell guy.

Well, I'm gonna call it a night, /tg/.

A very merry first Tarrasquemas to you all :)

>>5796716
And to all a good night.

>>5796511
There's always one kid who tries to eat the glue while everyone makes tarrasquemas cards

>>5796511
God dammit. Source?

>>5797224
Second.

What are the stats for a Tassasque again?

>>5797294

>>5797294

Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 SRD. Look it up.

>>5797385
Y'know, it says the whole reason for him getting up is to go eat. So, what if you got him to wear a ring of sustenance?

>>5797411
rings of sustenance lack the enchantment to sate the Epic hunger of the Tarrasque. It takes a hearty Tarrasquemas dinner with plenty of nog for that.

>>5797433
A ring of sustenance on each hand and one around his dork.

>>5797224
>>5797233
houseofslime.com.

Tarrasquemas is officially Neckbeard Approved.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tarrasque/129605437883

Go forth, children of Tarry, and fan!

Anyone remembering Ursula, from The Little Mermaid?

>>5798168
Urgh! What IS that?!

>>5797469

Aaaand you almost made me vomit my brownie. Thanks Anon.

>>5798190

A very powerful (pit fiend tier) devil that can grow his nails 30 ft long and does 1d4 cha dmg/hit no save

Basically they're like the jewbankers of hell i believe, trade souls and other evil shit

Its actual name escapes me but i think i saw it in fiend folio

>>5798190
A Paeliyron. A breed of Devil. And they DO look like like Ursula.

I seem to recall that they are actually even more powerful than pit fiends, having a CR of 24 or something ridiculous like that.

>>5797385
Fixed it for you. ^_^

Now it's canon!

I think I realized why there's no Tarrasque miniature.

Because they'd only be able to make one.

I've always had a soft spot for the Tarresque. Something about him just makes me feel warm all over, whether he's a loving and magical figure of happiness or playing wrestling with a whole party of epic level players and winning.
I love that monstrous sweety pie.

bump for retention!

hum?

Is this thread archived? It needs to be.

For the life of the thread....
Nay, for the holiday spirit! I BUMP!

Archive this!

>>5802524
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5789941/

It already has been, lern to read thread plzthx

364 more days till Tarrasquemas everybody!!!!

You people remind me of a mother with her hideous unholy spawn of Iblies that she parades around as her offspring and calls "cute"

Creepy