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  • File : 1251356548.jpg-(65 KB, 298x298, SkittyLurvesWailord.jpg)
    65 KB Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:02 No.5611054  
    What is the most, shall we say, unconventional romance ever encountered in your games?

    Pic relatedish.
    >> How do I shot trip? !H508X.HbJ6 08/27/09(Thu)03:04 No.5611066
    Pixie male and Storm Giant female.

    It was implied the physical side of the relationship was not entirely consensual, but they did like one another.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:06 No.5611082
    how long could he hold his breath?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:06 No.5611084
    One of our players invited his wife to play one day. She rolled a Drow. He was a Githyanki. Hilarity ensued.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:06 No.5611088

    A Dwarf Cleric female and a Tiefling Bard Male. He accidentally misdelivered a love poem to her, and when she responded with a heartfelt letter to her "secret admirer" (and rolled a natural 20 on Diplomacy), he kinda fell for her.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:08 No.5611097

    "Her breasts rose and fell like the citadel of Boatmurdered"
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:09 No.5611106

    "Like elephants and goblins, lust has besieged my heart, and the lava flow of modesty can do naught to restrain it."
    >> How do I shot trip? !H508X.HbJ6 08/27/09(Thu)03:09 No.5611109
    I'd have to say a damn long while.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 08/27/09(Thu)03:09 No.5611111
    Human mage and a red dragoness.

    Probably not weird when compared to others in this thread, but for our campaign it was weird, and nothing love/inter-species had come up before then. Or pretty much after.
    >> Subprocessor 616 08/27/09(Thu)03:10 No.5611119
    I don't suppose you can magically bottle air?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:12 No.5611132

    I just read this LP, and I snorted pepsi out my nose for the first time ever. Fuck you, Anon, that shit hurts.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:13 No.5611140

    Was she in humanoid form, at least?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:13 No.5611144
    Human Paladin and dancing sword. The sword had some damn good rolls, and the next thing you know, the Paladin has a sword hilt in his ass.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 08/27/09(Thu)03:15 No.5611163

    No. We didn't find that out though until we left the place and he told us. He looked shaken up and overall visibly disturbed, not to mention battered. We asked him what was wrong and he told us.

    Poor guy.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:16 No.5611168

    I actually wrote a story about a young knight falling in love with his sentient sword back in High School, for an assignment.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:16 No.5611171

    How would that even WORK?

    Also, requesting more Dorfen Love Poetry.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:17 No.5611177

    "My heart menaces with spikes of love for thee!"
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 08/27/09(Thu)03:18 No.5611183

    She sort of just laid down on top of him, taking care not to crush him.

    I'm sure you can imagine the rest. Cheap price to pay though, for letting us in the mountain she was guarding.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:19 No.5611187
    "your drunken blush fuels the furnace of my heart"
    >> Legion 08/27/09(Thu)03:20 No.5611201
    Dragonborn Dragon Shaman fell in love with the voice in his head.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:21 No.5611204
    That's pretty weird. At least yours didn't have man losing his virginity to the pointy, sentient dragonhead end of a greatsword's hilt. You can imagine just how big this thing is.
    >> How do I shot trip? !H508X.HbJ6 08/27/09(Thu)03:22 No.5611211
    Taking vaginal spelunking to a whole new level...
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:24 No.5611228
    "For you I'd fight goblin or carp, demon or maca--RHESUS MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!"
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:24 No.5611235

    what did he do speed box her clit?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:26 No.5611247
    A stream of ultraviolet signal light fell in love with an alien radio signal in one of my games.
    Never mind that they were of vastly different wavelength; that to him, her frequency would be ending in a fraction of time.
    They interacted for such a brief period, yet it was true love.

    But as always, love is epheremal, and duty stands firm. The alien signal had to leave, an entire civilisation depending on him. And she had grown old in that time.

    As he rose through the atmosphere, he carried her already dissipating waveform upwards, her pulse already fading into background noise.

    They managed to clear atmosphere. It was beautiful, she said. Then vanished, her wavefront losing all coherency.

    And he travelled onwards to the stars, without her.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:32 No.5611278
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    >> How do I shot trip? !H508X.HbJ6 08/27/09(Thu)03:35 No.5611303
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    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:36 No.5611314
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    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:38 No.5611326
    This is the best post I've read... pretty much ever. Wow.

    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:39 No.5611335
    I think you killed the thread because that won't be topped
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 08/27/09(Thu)03:40 No.5611341
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    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:43 No.5611365
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    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:46 No.5611399
    Barbarian and a Night Hag.....

    now admittedly it was a half-troll barbarian but still
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:47 No.5611401
    PS. The whole thing took only 2-3 seconds, but at lightspeed, that was forever.

    Also, the interaction put a tiny part of the ultraviolet waveform overlayed onto the radio wave - he carried their hybrid child to the heavens.

    The players managed to get the attention of the alien civilisation via the altered signal and they saved Earth from a giant asteroid. It was a pretty weird game.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:47 No.5611406
    Hags should breed more often if Gann is the result.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:53 No.5611463
    If there was actual love from both that = awesome due to Gann results!
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)03:57 No.5611504

    Hot Skitty on Wailord Action?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:01 No.5611546
    My male drow warlock. He had a lotta minions who fell for him, mainly cause he didn't treat them like shit. Hell, when he got sacraficed by a bitch of a priestess, they even stole his corpse and had him reanimated as a wight.

    His harem included a one-eyed human girl, a no-eyed halfling, two drow, one was a polymorphed spiderling, (A mini drider essentially), two half-elves, two elves (one a barbarian), a trixie, and a werewolf. Yeah, fun times.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:02 No.5611557
    Has anyone ever had a furry and human couple in their games?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:04 No.5611573
    I can't help but wonder how many of these actually happened and how many were invented for the purpose of this thread only (possibly by OP samefagging).

    Had a human and a catfolk pair up once. It was pretty nice. Also using the word "furry" automatically makes you a troll, so that you know.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:04 No.5611577

    Gann is awesome, though still not as awesome as Morte.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:06 No.5611599

    Does it really make a difference if I used the word ''anthro'' instead?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:07 No.5611607

    Yiff in hell.

    I had a Half-Orc who fell in love with a Bog Hag impersonating a nobleman's daughter once. She fell in love with him too, and agonized over the whole "he's in love with the woman whose skin I'm in" bit, plus the woman she was masquerading as was already engaged to a prince.

    They got a happy ending, though, she killed a Drow, swapped skins, and explained to him. He didn't mind her regardless of what she looked like.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:08 No.5611624

    Nobody is awesome as Morte.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:13 No.5611669
    >how many were invented for the purpose of this thread only (possibly by OP samefagging).
    Hey! I'm not the OP!

    ...And I didn't make the story up, either!
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:16 No.5611707
    Well, yeah, it actually does. "Anthro" sounds more polite, but at the same time more stupid.

    In any case, YIFF IN HELL FURFAGS LOLOLOLOL. There, now there should be nothing whatsoever left to say about the subject.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:16 No.5611709
    Unconventional, you say?

    Well, one that got me a lot of raised eyebrows was an elf War Wizard I had, rather arrogant and liked to blow things up, was involved in a bit of a love triangle. His parents were killed by orcs, so he was 'taken in' (This was 3.5, so he was already pushing 80, but 110 was adult for elf), by a family friend who ran a wizard school, a 250 year old elf female wizard. He proceeded to fall in love with her (already had a bit of a childhood crush on her) the more time he spent at the school, so he ran off.

    The other part of the triangle was an 'exchange' student at the school, a Drow Sorceress who specialized in enchantment spells who become rather enamored with the Evocation wizard. She proceeded to make it a personal goal to make him her 'servant' or whatever the hell female drow call their mates. It was said that she was mostly turned on by his 'don't give a crap' attitude and ability for massive destruction, but the fact the two actually got along rather well before she got the idea to 'tame' him complicated things.

    So, he's running from his teacher, his friend the drow is hunting him, and he just wants to live to blow stuff up in spectacular fashion. Fun times ensued.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:17 No.5611715
    I lol'd hard.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:19 No.5611730
    Dark Heresy. A tech priest (who by that point had pretty much become a heretek) and an eldar harlequin. They had a bizarre student/mentor relationship for a while in addition to a slow buildup of UST. It actually ended up working out despite the general insanity of it all. More or less, anyway. They blew up a planet together as a sort of first date and it got progressively more exciting from there.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:21 No.5611747
    I had a paladin that somehow fell for a little girl. I mean fell in every possible way.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:22 No.5611761
    /r/ing more dorf love poetry
    give me one involving plump helmets
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:23 No.5611772
    Did he fall?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:24 No.5611778
    "Ye make me club 'arder then a dorf forged 'ammer"
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:25 No.5611788
    his plump helmet so supple, even a noble would squeeze wine from it
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 08/27/09(Thu)04:26 No.5611794

    I had a Paladin that fell -on- a little girl. He was carrying his maximum carrying capacity at the time. It did not end well.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:27 No.5611808
    Yes. Kind of bullshit in my opinion as she had an int of 15 and a cha of 15.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:29 No.5611821
    Yeah, I fell on her too. I tripped in the middle of a bar fight and I fell on her, she casted a fireball at me and I dodged and she hit the brigand by accident. And that's how we met.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:30 No.5611824
    >Little Girl
    >Stats far above 10
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:30 No.5611828
    Walking plot device.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 08/27/09(Thu)04:31 No.5611832

    I don't know what your little girls are made of, but most growing ribcages are not intended to support the weight of a 110 kilo man, 60 kilos of armour and weapons, and at least 200 kilos of miscellaneous shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:33 No.5611843
    Damn, we made the halfling slave hold on to all that shit. It's hard to quest if you're weighed down, donchaknow.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:43 No.5611888
    >Halfling slave
    >paladin in not-fallen status
    Yeah, doing it wrong already.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:47 No.5611914
    Enjoying your 20th century mindset?
    Slavery is not an inherent evil. It is an arguably uneven business transaction, but not inherently evil.
    Then again, I'm sure the only thing that comes to mind is colonial slavery, c. 1600 - 1800s. Read a little on Roman slavery. Whole other thing.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:48 No.5611917
    a dorf barbarian in my campaign got tentacle raped, and the giant worm absolutely loved it, the barbarian on the other hand, not so much. either way, made a interesting plot device when it had layed a egg inside his rectum, and he crit a percfect 20 to shit it out, could have been anywhere, but it was in the middle of a fucking battle, with some floating skulls. haha, that barbarian was always gettin in shenanigans.
    >> Thannak 08/27/09(Thu)04:49 No.5611923
    Undead dwarf girl (age 7 at time of death) kept "alive" in a biological/non-biological state by the undead goddess of Eternal Love (forgot her name) rogue fell in love with a Darkspear troll warlock (Forgotten Realms/Warcraft hybrid story via portal magic) thanks to a DM who watched too many romance movies that week and was in a successful relationship. Thanks to her rule of allowing rolls between party members and a joking attempt at pedophillic/necrophillic seduction to add to the troll's creepy demeanor she became obsessed with him. Our DM proceeds to come up with 50 reasons why this had to work out By the way, my character was the undead girl and my girlfriend's was the troll. We got into it for awhile, but it was too creepy to role play around our friends and the pedophilia thing was too weird. So in attempt to cast a homebrew ritual spell to fast forward the girl's age, spell backfired with a critical miss. DM decided to be nice. and have it roll back the troll's physical age to 7 and include that his other warlocky magic backfires had made him immune to age. No effect on gameplay from that point on, but it was fun. The two currently reside in Strahd Von Zarovich's castle (not kidding, we used those characters in that and left them there once it was over).

    Oddest. Game. Ever. My girlfriend had me draw stuff from it too, how they'd have sex if they were both 15 instead...fun but still bizarre. Too bad she took the pics when we broke up, they were actually boner worthy.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:49 No.5611924
    You, your DM, and your entire group should have their books and dice taken away.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:50 No.5611930
    "indentured servant". The halfling was a former thief (imagine that) who was arrested and sold as a slave. All legally binding and he was paying his debt back to society. This is what my paladin actually believed.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:50 No.5611935

    What if she was a Halfling?

    I knew someone who played a Chaotic Evil Halfling Bard that masqueraded as a little girl, just so that she could tempt Paladins into pedophilia and make them fall.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:52 No.5611941
    eat shit, it was a fun campaign
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:52 No.5611945

    This, but for >>5611923 post
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:54 No.5611955

    Would this actually work?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:55 No.5611961
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:57 No.5611970
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    No. Does Lidda look like a little girl to you?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:58 No.5611979
    Nope. She looks like a scaled down adult. With tiny tits.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:58 No.5611981
    Only on retarded paladins, a Halfling's proportions generally don't match that of a child, but instead come closer to that of a scaled down adult.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)04:59 No.5611984

    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:04 No.5612009
    Banging Halflings: like pedophilia - but legal!
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:05 No.5612015
    4e Paladins have ridiculously good Will defense, seeing as Wisdom or Charisma is ALWAYS their second-highest stat, and Charisma is sometimes THE highest.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:06 No.5612023

    To elaborate, not only does Charisma NOT convince people to do things totally inimical to their nature so easily, but Paladins are very likely to resist anyway...and oh look, Wisdom ties into Insight and Perception. Meaning they'll realize she's an adult Halfling.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:07 No.5612032
    Geez, my experiences are not at all weird compared to you people. I mean we had my kobold fighter falling in love with a human princess, and everyone in our group considered it weird!

    The campaign ended after the two got married (with the BBEG crashing the wedding, epic but unrelated-to-topic battle ensued). Their children were kinda like platypi: came in eggs but got milk from their mommy.

    Our next campaign was in the same setting, after a couple hundred year time skip. The particular kingdom's royalty was still kinda lizardish when the party eventually ended up there.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:08 No.5612037
    More to the point, what paladin is okay with one of his adventuring companions being a prepubescent girl? Any decent paladin should tuck her under one arm and carry her home.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:08 No.5612044
         File1251364139.jpg-(1.19 MB, 1031x1456, 19786[1].jpg)
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    Mialee and Lidda.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:09 No.5612049
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:10 No.5612052

    More likely she was chasing NPC Paladins.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:10 No.5612059
    What if the girl's home is on the way to your ultimate destination?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:10 No.5612061

    Notice that Lidda has tits and pubic hair, that's one really obvious way to tell she's an adult.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:12 No.5612070
    Gnome Warlock girl fell HARD for our Githyanki Wizard boy. It was pretty heartwarming, she followed him around like a puppy, and he gradually warmed up to her.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:12 No.5612072
    Oh gods, they were captured and thieves, hung, and now they're back for revenge!
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:14 No.5612074
    Then she stays in the cart/hidden from the enemy. She CERTAINLY doesn't enter any dungeons, and if she insists on trying to get involved in a fight he forcibly carries her away from the conflict.
    If she wants to be taken for eight, treat her like an eight year old.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:18 No.5612090
    Sooner or later that halfling is going to develop some serious daddy issues relating to that paladin if she keeps being treated like a child and not getting any.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:20 No.5612107
    In my group this led to some conflict. The group saw she could handle herself in battle and I was saying not her time. I compromised by becoming her protector. A couple of sessions later, fell etc. etc.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:27 No.5612162

    That or the dress and the breastbands come off, and she starts dressing like an adult.

    "Happy birthday, mister Paladin~"
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:28 No.5612167
    Have you considered that the paladin may have come from a society that lacks exposure to halflings?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:40 No.5612253
    >She rolled a Drow. He was a Githyanki.
    What kind of group ROLLS up a character for a newcoming player? Did you expect her to actually play it?
    If so, is she the reincarnation of Gary Gygax or what?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:44 No.5612289
    >daddy issues

    This can only end well
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:46 No.5612305
    I think it's just a way of saying. It's not like anyone is dumb enough to literally roll everything.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:52 No.5612351
    >I think it's just a way of saying. It's not like anyone is dumb enough to literally roll everything.
    If "roll" is their way of saying "create", then "Minnesota" is my way of saying "cup of cocoa". There's people dumb enough for any-fucking-thing.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)05:57 No.5612383
    >If "roll" is their way of saying "create", then "Minnesota" is my way of saying "cup of cocoa".
    That's a nice strawman there, Pa. Corn's comin' in awful nice this year.
    More to the point, "roll" was indeed the operative verb for creating a character for decades. Many games still let you do so randomly; WFRP/DH, anything with a Lifepath, etc. The last time I paid any attention, WoWkids were still using "reroll" to describe changing their abilities (I hear it's "respec" now).
    If you can draw that kind of connection between "Minnesota" and "cup of cocoa", you will have saved yourself from being an utter retard.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:10 No.5612479
    WoW uses the terms "roll" and "reroll" for character creation and to say "You should reroll a *race* *class*" sort of statements.

    I've played since release, and never heard "reroll" for respeccing, which I have heard since release.
    >> I ♣ Seals 08/27/09(Thu)06:12 No.5612485

    and you know why?

    D&fuckingD type tabletop games.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:18 No.5612521
    No shit, I wasn't arguing that. I was making a statement on the one sentence in the post the guy above me made, not saying it started on WoW. Reading Comprehension FTW.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:29 No.5612562
    I had a game where one of the wizards own raccoon familiar turned out to be the reincarnated soul of his dead wife...from another lifetime. It was touching, but he desperately tried to find a way to make her human again.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:30 No.5612568
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:36 No.5612594
    It was considered, but this wasn't D&D and being a familiar made things...complicated. All said in done, when she did gain human form she still was his familiar. Which was a whole new type of fun.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:46 No.5612639
    Dwarven Monk who worships Moradin who is technically married to a rather sweet, if somewhat scatterbrained succubus.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:46 No.5612646
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    Tiefling Ranger, sorta like a Drizzt clone with horns and a tail... he got better tho.
    He always would try to spare any humanoid monsters tho, and sorta grew into the party conscience. I blame letting him read the Book of Exalted Deeds too much.

    Anyway, he eventually gets with a Yochlol, picture related, who spent all her time in Drow form. It was sorta awkward when his Waifu turned out to be a slime monster. Hilarity ensued.
    I could tell the DM had wanted the reveal to be a big, emotional moment, but all I could think about was Tiefling - Goo-Girl...
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:49 No.5612656
    Leave it to the tiefling to end up fucking an eldritch horror.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:53 No.5612673
    I remember reading a half-orcs birthstory on /tg/ about a female Orc horse thief and a male human hermit.
    The orc tried to steal the hermits horse.
    hermit stopped her.
    Then sex happend.
    Everyone thought it was rape until the party found the poorly written love notes.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)06:55 No.5612681
    Yeah, I was sure our Star-pact Warlock was going to be the first person to try some hot tentacular action. but he was a creepy one, straight up Lovecraftian cultist type. We only traveled with him to play damage control... oh, and cause the Tiefling wouldn't let us kill him.
    He tried to get with an Illithid... but we killed that plan in the first round.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)07:02 No.5612715
    >Tiefling - Goo Girl

    >> failchan 08/27/09(Thu)07:06 No.5612732
    Half-Giant ranger/dervish and Air Mephling bard. With an enlarge person spell, she was only a foot shorter than him.

    Party Member: "How long does enlarge person last, anyway?"
    The Couple: "Not long enough to do it twice."

    ...also, played a half-orc sorcerer who encountered some wish-granting magic item (I forget what) and wished for TRUE LOVE and.... fell completely in love with himself.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)07:07 No.5612739
    Carrying 260kg's? That's a LOT of stuff. Also, what kind of armor weighs 50kg's?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)07:08 No.5612742
    I certainly hope that someone's wedding gift was an Extend Spell metamagic rod.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)07:10 No.5612753
    We were playing Transhuman Space and we had a party Informorph would have 5 way orgies with all his various drone bodies. The Combat Bioroid in the party asked, "Isn't that masturbation?" To which the Infomorph replied, "Not if your in love with yourself." Or something to that effect. Needless to say the rest of the group was rather creeped out by him.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)07:32 No.5612857
    >not long enough to do it twice

    oh god i lol'd
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)07:36 No.5612874
    My paladin of Nobanion is quite in love with a Wemic woman twice his size.

    ...that's about it.
    >> Trippin' the Light Fagtastic !Ko6SOaXJKE 08/27/09(Thu)08:23 No.5613161
    4e campaign I'm running, my party's dragonborn warlord comes from a tradition of dragons and non-dragons getting together. It all started with the red dragoness masquerading as a human warlock and seducing a fighter/warlord. He ended up staying to defend her hoard against intruders. Three generations later, they're both ghostly NPC's (he died of old age/disease and she was slain by cultists seeking a new base of operations).
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)08:42 No.5613273
    Also doubles as sex toy.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:11 No.5613485
    A female alienist getting it on with an eldritch abomination from beyond time. She eventually gave birth to a horrible invisible thing that'd cause madness in anyone who saw it.

    Fun times.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:17 No.5613529
    I toyed with the idea of introducing a story thread about a man that was trying to convince some fanatical paladins that the demon they captured was good, and that he had actually fallen in love with it. I would have dropped hints about the demon being a succubus or something but it turning out to be something along the lines of a glabrezu.

    I dropped it when i realized my players would probably take the side of the overzealous paladins, especially after the reveal...
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:25 No.5613579
    I'd be happy if I could run just one game where the players didn't treat the female enemies as their dating pool.
    It's like they have decided that any game I run exists to play out their Foe-yay tendencies.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:28 No.5613601

    I really wish i had a idea on how to counter that other than "Make them ugly." or "Have them kill children regularly."
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:34 No.5613625
    Even the cultist with feats out of the Book of Vile Darkness was fair game.

    Undead, check.
    Demons, check.
    Omnicidal Sorceress, check.
    Orcs, Goblinoids, Gnolls, check.
    Aberrations, check.

    They practically snogged their way through the whole Monster Manual.

    I kid you not, they once responded to my description of an npc as singularly repulsive with the quip that "ugly girls need love to."
    Mind you, they usually load up on abilities to "improve" people, so no ugly girl stays ugly for long.
    Furthermore, they seem to have completely embraced the pin-up version of most monsters, and blithely ignore protestations otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:34 No.5613627

    That reminds me of a a kook documentary I saw a few months ago...
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:39 No.5613649

    Buh. Wuh. Guh.

    Last resort: Sultry vampire with hidden vagina-fangs.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:43 No.5613672
    Vagina Dentata?
    I don't know, there are jsut some things one can't take back once done...
    Then again, they may find it perversely amusing somehow.
    The concept behind it, however, is a valid one. Something that actually does it's damage by being a participant in such activities may be a good route.
    Thank you.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)09:48 No.5613702
    Well...my campaign's kinda boring compared to all of yours, but my human druid did have a drunken one-night stand with a lizard guy. (This is creepier when you know that lizards have 2 penises.) And one of the guys I play with, his last character--an elven druid--had sex with a wolf and fathered puppies.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:53 No.5613732
    Reminds me of one of my fellow player's character concepts.
    He was a Half-Orc Druid.
    His mother was an Orc Druid, who spent most her time in bear form.
    His father was a Human Druid, who spent most his time in bear form.
    He would always quip that his Mother was eternally surprised when he came out as he was, rather than as a Were-Bear.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:54 No.5613734
    Show them Shub-Niggurath or something similar, that's TECHNICALLY female but it doesn't really show.

    Or maybe animals or something. Discover who's a closet furfag.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:56 No.5613743
    A couple of them aren't closeted.
    Also, I blame Raji's bugbears for how they view goblinoids.
    Oh, and the Druid will do animals as well. Wild shape, for her pleasure.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)09:56 No.5613748
         File1251381418.jpg-(197 KB, 600x800, JetM200706212021481.jpg)
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    Pic related.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)10:01 No.5613768

    How badass would a half-orc druid were-bear have been, though?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)10:04 No.5613787

    Ridiculous AC levels.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)10:04 No.5613793
    As matters stood, he spent most of his time in bear form anyway.
    The game was set in Eberron, and we were pretty much the anti-Silver Flame party, and actual Were-creature would have just been icing on our dirt-worshipping cake.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)10:16 No.5613844

    Do lizardfolk count? Because my character had a thing going with one for a while until she realized he was an asshole. Also, he kept hitting on the male party members.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)10:34 No.5613958
    My Warden's dad was a rough-edged, violent mercenary who fell in love with a chandler's daughter, won her over through his gruff attempts at politeness, and eventually bedded her. When he found out she was pregnant, he sent money home over the course of the military campaign he was engaged in, then returned home to marry her and take over the family business.

    It's weird, it seems like NOBODY'S Half-Orcs come from RAPERAPERAPE.
    >> the wogsi !6cLkJmakko 08/27/09(Thu)10:47 No.5614046
    Oh, all mine does.
    I'm a DM though. And the land the game take place in had a massive orc invasion a few hundred years back. They had the place for a few years and then were driven off. But not before raping the fuck out of the women.
    The half orc children were hated and denied rights as civil beings under the yoke of mages.
    The players bought one and used it to carry shit around. They treated it pretty well and I thought it was nice to have a heroic party for once.
    A few sessions later the changeling asked me "So I take her to bed."
    I had to think about that for a while , it was a male at first but it seems every player had forgotten about that and started to think of it as a female, so I ran with a relationship between them.
    No kids came out between them though. It was amusing to play her whining about carrying all tehir stuff.
    Then the other party members whipped her for speaking against her masters when the Warlord was away for a bit.
    Just ONCE I'd like them to play good or evil so I at least could GUESS what the hell they were going to do.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)10:58 No.5614154

    Because nobody really wants to think about RAPERAPERAPE, and they're subconsciously afraid that their character will been seen as a mary-sue/gary-stu. Or it just seems like too much work.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:04 No.5614203
    Half-orcs tend to be either hotblooded awesome incarnate or comic relief. Angsty backstories get in the way of that.

    Makes it understandable why they said half-orcs in 4e have shrouded origins. Because, you know, having a large population of regular orcs who aren't violent amoral nutballs is just WRONG.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:14 No.5614272
    My last half-orc was designed to play on this and make people nervous. He wore the under-eye scars of his father's clan, kept his gold in his ears and his teeth like an orc should, and mocked other PCs for sleeping inside and bathing with warm water. Talked about his parents whenever he could in vague innuendo; "Mom had no chance against dad's might", "Father acted as all warriors should", would vocally size women up as 'breeding stock' when away from towns, etc.

    It was all true, but by "no chance against dad's might" he meant "was impressed by his strength (and perceived protectiveness when he wrestled a gray render to death on the edge of her family's fields", and by "acted as all warriors should" he meant he should win her love and admiration with feats of strength, cunning, skill, and prosperity, finally bringing a herd of wild oxen broken to the yoke as a bride price. It never even struck him that he was implying rape; children the mother resents do not make a clan strong.

    Just a strong, forthright, simple man, with the blood of fire and mountains in his veins.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:17 No.5614302
    >nobody really wants to think about RAPERAPERAPE
    You must be new to 4chan.
    Half these people think it's just another word for "sex".
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:26 No.5614369

    That's clever. I'd work something like that into a campaign if i weren't such a magnificient wuss.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:37 No.5614436
    Easy enough. Succubus. See if you can get them to forget about the energy draining until it is too last.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:46 No.5614514
         File1251388013.jpg-(66 KB, 954x634, worksafe_forsaken_pr0n.jpg)
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    My Undead rogue (picture related) ended up banging the Elf mage. Even though she couldn't actually feel any physical sensation, she acted like she could so that it wasn't so weird for him.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:49 No.5614537

    Oh, forgot to add. They've currently gone on a side-quest together, doing some errands for a Succubus so she'll enchant my character's body so it can feel pleasurable sensations.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:49 No.5614544
    >>5614537Oh, forgot to add. They've currently gone on a side-quest together, doing some errands for a Succubus so she'll enchant my character's body so it can feel pleasurable sensations.

    you grow a penis
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)11:58 No.5614625

    Oddly enough that might not be too much of a problem. The Elf suggested they should get a strap-on, so she could play a more active role in sex.
    >> Cirno 08/27/09(Thu)12:04 No.5614681

    Yeah...thats an elf for ya.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:05 No.5614692

    That... makes a certain amount of sense.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:09 No.5614731

    Sexy undead Dominatrix? brb, fapping.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:15 No.5614766
    How is it that everyone seems to be okay with this one?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:17 No.5614786

    What's wrong with it? It's just a pretty standard harem situation.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:18 No.5614787

    How DID we miss that one?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:19 No.5614797

    Overexposure to monstergirl threads.

    You've got a spider-demon and a werewolf in your harem? Pfft. Where's the naga?
    >> Cirno 08/27/09(Thu)12:22 No.5614824

    It's SUCH a clear troll, we are just not even bothering.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:22 No.5614829
    After killing some yuan-ti, an aasimar paladin found a spear called Helen.

    Helen's creator was fascinated by the nature of identity, particularly how the majority of his magical items identified with masculinity out of default. As a bold experiment, he crafted a sentient spear devoid of gender and told it, from the moment of its birth, that it was female.

    She had been around for about a hundred years when the party found her.

    Together, her and the paladin faced many dangers, and they came to rely upon each other. Their romance was a running gag at first, a joke that the rogue and barbarian would laugh about when the paladin wasn't around. Yet none could deny the strength that the two gained from each other, encouraging one another in battle with sincere expressions of respect and compassion.

    She became a back-up ranged weapon when he found his holy sword, and though they still talked frequently, she felt incomplete without being in his hands. And so she ran away.

    The campaign ended, but the lore remains. Helen now strikes deals with her various wielders, offering her powers if they agree to help her in her quest to become humanoid so that she can join the paladin under more equal terms.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:25 No.5614858
    >And so she ran away.

    How the heck...?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:29 No.5614892
    She stabbed someone moving in the right direction.
    >> the wogsi !6cLkJmakko 08/27/09(Thu)12:32 No.5614913
    What a tragic end.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:35 No.5614938
    Animate Object, except that it doesn't work on magic weapons.

    You know, I think it's a better story if you don't explain it.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:40 No.5614975
    Now I want to see someone draw what the Spear would look like if she did find someone able to transform her into a humanoid creature.
    >> the wogsi !6cLkJmakko 08/27/09(Thu)12:41 No.5614986
    She'd look sharp and thin like a twig, obviously
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)12:46 No.5615020
    3.5 D&D, we decided to run an evil campaign. One of the party members was a githyanki. After a long hard fight, the party found themselves at a githzerai monastery. Fortunately, the monastery was neutral evil, and willing to give us shelter in exchange for a MASSIVE donation. We'd lost the party's bard, and he decided to roll up a githzerai monk. The only reason the DM let him get away with this was because the githyanki had been hit with a baleful polymorph in the fight, and by the time it was broken, we were well away from the monastery.

    At first, the githyanki and the githzerai couldn't stand each other, but eventually they fell in love (The fact that both of them were neutral evil probably helped). At the campaign's end, the story of their love got chronicled by a githyanki bard who turned it into an epic poem that eventually spawned a reconciliation between the two races.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)13:02 No.5615147
    I think this one beats all the stories so far. Or most of them, at least.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)13:22 No.5615359

    Yeah, that's pretty epic.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)13:26 No.5615412

    I am relatively new, but since most of /tg/ doesn't seem to be bugfuck insane I don't like to assume the worst. For example, there was a MONSTER WAIFU thread a while back that you'd think would turn into "yay, sexx0rs!", but actually wound up pointing out that a world in which half the monsters live off human semen is really fucking scary.
    >> the wogsi !6cLkJmakko 08/27/09(Thu)13:31 No.5615479
    I'd prefer giving up my semen over my flesh.
    Well, unless they're going to eat my balls then it's kinda shitty. But overall. Life > genitals.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)13:32 No.5615491
    >spawned a reconciliation between the two races.

    Illithids are fucked now.
    >> the wogsi !6cLkJmakko 08/27/09(Thu)13:35 No.5615530
    Massive racial wide threesomes?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)13:48 No.5615678
    They should make peace with Aboleths.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)14:14 No.5615947
         File1251396877.jpg-(1.98 MB, 4615x3605, 1251331281449.jpg)
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    Well, it started off with this pic, the flavor text of which points out that most of these monsters either rape men, keep them as sex slaves, or both. Or rape them and then eat them.

    I dunno, it freaks *me* out a bit.
    >> the wogsi !6cLkJmakko 08/27/09(Thu)14:19 No.5616002
    Yea, same here.
    But I still think this scenario is better than.. say the Drow, Mindflayers or any of the horrors of the Underdark.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)14:25 No.5616050

    Having read a bit about mindflayers, I can't say I blame you. Talk about mindfuckery.

    Hey, y'know what'd be really creepy? Mindflayer/any sentient race.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)14:40 No.5616214
    You have inadvertently suggested that Mindflayer/non-sentient would be less creepy. >.>_

    Ah hell. Now I suddenly remember that old crap with ring of acid-protection cube riders and ooze masters in a disturbing new light. Fuck you man.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)15:53 No.5616879
    I reckon this should be archived. We get plenty of worse shit archived these days.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:16 No.5617082
    I had an adult human male and an adult human female once.

    Hey, it IS unconventional compared to the other kinds of shit that appears in my games.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:19 No.5617114
    How does that even work?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:39 No.5617266
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    Pic related?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:41 No.5617285

    I mean, this must be a troll, right?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:43 No.5617298
    That, or his game is totally full of tentacle beasts and things.

    I hope it's a troll.
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:44 No.5617303
    Is this thread on suptg yet?
    >> Anonymous 08/27/09(Thu)16:51 No.5617364
    Apparently not. It's pretty easy for you to check yourself, anyway - and it's almost as easy to just add it there if you would wish to do so.
    >> lilith 08/27/09(Thu)17:21 No.5617638

    Aw, geez, I hadn't even thought of that. THANK YOU. Now I have to go take out my brain and scrub it with lye and steel wool!

    ...And I kinda want to draw Mindflayer/gelatinous cube stuff now.

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