>>5569271

[ I wasn't here last night, what happened? ]

>>5569291
Random shit. It turned out very unproductive. You really didn't miss much.

I check to see if anything is in my backpack.

We check the backpack, of course, to see what gear we might actually have.

Indeed, check the backpack.

Fuck the backpack, eat the garb, ride the monocle

Mhhmhphmh!

[ I leave it up to you to invent a suitable oufit for Pyro Minion in this weird ass world. ]

i will probably, call the MOTHER FUCKING BANSHEES

Inspect back pack. There might be a note. I believe we have run afoul of one of our enemies.

Check strange garb

>>5569332
You open the backpack and find yourself surprised. There are no speakers, no devices whatsoever within. Even as you take note of how barren the insides of it is, you hear a voice.

"Choose your weapon o' lost one." The voice seems to echo as though far off. it sounds familiar, giving you s small sense of calm.

"Choose and wield it well. Do not fear, do not hesitate, but do not fail or all is lost."

>>5569458

Long-Las.

>>5569458
Our weapon shall be as it always has been. SCIENCE!

Scythe...or chanisaw....

>>5569458
swedish war axe.

>>5569458
BFG 9000

Mind-control ray.

Dude, there's only one weapon we need. The Power of ROCK!

The obvious answer is the Tesla Guitar.

Does our fortress count as weapon?

Also: Investigate the bag for any signs of where that voice came from. We may be able to use the parts from the (obviously technologically based) device to build something to help us.

>>5569491
SECONDED!!!

IDKFA FTW

>>5569458
The voice is 3! Save us 3!

>>5569458

A crowbar fashioned out of the heart of a dead star.

>>5569474

This.

>>5569458

How about the weapon belonging to our most powerful enemy?

>>5569531
The heart of Micheal Jackson?

>>5569474
>>5569474
>>5569474
>>5569474
>>5569474
>>5569474
>>5569474
>>5569474

THIS! A THOUSAND TIMES THIS!

>>5569474

Science isn't a weapon, it's a tool.

For making weapons.

>>5569594
All the better.

>>5569474

SCIENCE!

I think we've already thwarted the plot here with our insistance on science as a weapon. What are we gonna do? Pull out some test tubes?

I don't suppose we could choose "#3" as our weapon?

>>5569620
I think it would be better to get one of the lolis in here. We seem to be in a fantasy setting, based on the garb. Highlolider would probably be best.

>>5569612
Test tubes.

... and the components for the BFG 9000.

rolled 7 = 7

Magic

>>5569468
"Tragic weapon. Brutish thing."

The voice seems to drift, unable to come from any one direction.

"I fear you as I fear for you."

The bag closes for only a moment before you feel it suddenly grow heavier. Inside, you find yourself disappointed. This was not the weapon you asked for.

You have:
-(1) Strange Garb(s)
-(1) Mysterious Backpack(s)
(New Items)
-(1) Long Barreled Musket(s)
-(20) Prepared Pouches Of Shot
-(1)Stack(s) Of Paper
-(1)Small Bag(s) Of Lead Bullets
-(1)Small Bag(s) Of Black Powder
-(1) Attachable Bayonet

"I choose as my weapon .. SLAANESH!"

Or Lolihighlander.

An acute sense of direction.

Um .. squint at the musket. Is it one? Is is more? What the hell were we drinking?

>>5569644
Crap, either a blowpipe or a gun. Observe surroundings past immediate..

>>5569644

Let's head to the mountains now. At least to that near one, so we have a good point to see the rest of the surrounding countryside.

Use our SCIENCE! to make a better gun. Get a rifling coil in there and stuff.

Also, lets look around. Are we on a path or anything? Any sign of civilization nearby? We may need tools.

>>5569644
Shit.

>>5569644

Load the musket, attach the bayonet and let's try to find our where the hell we are.

>>5569644
Great, we probably have the most powerful, technologically advanced weapon in this new setting, and it's a freaking smoothbore round-ball musket.

How much do we know about firearms? W need to rifle this SoB ASAP and maybe press the shot into a minibal(sp? not a /k/tard) shape.

>>5569644

First things first, let's improve the shit out of this musket. Rifle the barrel, straighten the god-damned thing so it can actually hit at a range further than ten feet and not fire sideways, get a loading chamber so you can just pack in all the bullets at the same time..

>>5569660

>>5569670

Load the musket, do NOT attach the bayonet. Keep that steel shiv tucked away somewhere we can pull it out in a flash.

If it gets to that we'll use the musket as a club.

>>5569670
This coupled with >>5569675

>>5569644

Use your keen analytical mind to load and ready the musket for firing. Also, inspect the bayonet. Does it obstruct the barrel when fitted onto the musket?

>>5569680
>-(1) Long Barreled Musket(s)

*ahem*

In b4 wound analysis of combat surgeons being quoted to demonstrate the uselessness of fixed bayonets.

>>5569680
Oye. Forget about the musket. It's for later. You are currently standing in the middle of a clearing. Your needs are not met. Look around you.

Use science to fashion a telescopic sight out of your monocle for the newly acquired musket.

>>5569680
Upgrade the Musket for more accurate firing.
Ideally arrange a sort of rapid reload as well.

Load musket * sling under arm.

Hide bayonet on self, or in belt, or whatever.

Cap everything else up nice & tight.

Look around & walk. Mountains anyone?

>>5569776
Hvae to second this, looks like there'll be no sciencing for a while so better get moving

How many clips do we have for our gun?
I mean... magazines. sorry.

Interrogate talking bag.

>>5569805

None of either.

>>5569805

If it's a musket, it may be a muzzle-loader.

>>5569805

1 magazine, technically.

It's our quiver. Or whatever that tube thing is.

>>5569822
It has a ramrod. It is most certainly muzzle-loading.

>>5569680
Hmm.. Do you still have all your knowledge intact? Be nasty if we got amensia. Run through blueprints, math, what we last rememeber.

>>5569661
>>5569663
>>5569668
>>5569670
>>5569682
You attach the musket's bayonet, just to see if it would in anyway impede your shots if you had it on. it appears not to block the barrel.

Thinking it over though, you decide it is better used detached.

Taking a quick scan of your surroundings, you find not a single sign of civilization.

You think on whether or not you should head towards the mountains.

(Yes, I realize the background is different, you turned around to check your entire surroundings.)

Load Musket and place Bayonet somewhere on your self. Sling your back pack and find a tall tree to climb and get your bearings.

>>5569868
Any rivers or bodies of water nearby? We should go towards them.
If not, the mountains seem a fair target. Afterall, we can see better from up there.

A valley might be better. Are we sure on the mountains?

>>5569868
Heading for the mountains seems to be the only viable option....do we have any small canisters available, where we could stroe water? we may need to fetch a drink before heading into obviously dangerous territory

>>5569879
Follow a river if one is near. They ALWAYS lead to civilization.

OK! options:

a) Head down river.

- otherwise -

b) Head up mountain.

>>5569904
>>5569879

Looking for a body of water seems to be the consensus, but did we see any sort of lake or river?

>>5569868

Keep the mountains in mind, but let's interrogate that talking bag. Ask kindly at first for information about your current situation and what got us here, but elevate to threats if it proves uncooperative.

We got a monocle, so we can start a fire and light this bitch up if necessary.

Ve have vays of making you talk, Bag!

>>5569879
Second, water = civilization.

Travel to the top of a mountain and shout

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

>>5569924

Not that I'm recommending it but we've got a big ole' bag of black power if it comes to that.

We might wanna keep the cylinder intact if only to keep that powder dry.

>>5569868
Hmm. This isn't good. Do you see any local geography, that could support civilization? Or are we too far up in the mountains to find a river.

Keep an eye out for wildlife or lack thereof

I've got it. This is all some sort of virtual reality thing.

Quick, find the red pill!

>>5569874
>>5569879
Climbing up a large tree, you scan your surroundings again with your new viewpoint. Far off to the north and heading towards the mountains you can see a roughly made road. Even better is the river and an actual bridge going over it.

>>5569805
D'ohohoho!

>>5569868
Oh! Take a close look at our clothes. Do we have any pocketsss?

>>5569668
To the mountains, it will at least give us a good view for our next destination.

And just in case.... "End program"

>>5570002
No signs of civilization my ass. We must be short as all hell. Head for said road.

>>5570002
Go to the bridge. from their either road direction should take us to civilization.

>>5570011
Agreed, and head northward if possible.

>>5570040
go to the bridge but don't cross it, instead checl under it. Weird shit happens under bridges in weird ass places....this new land qualifies as such...

>>5570081
if anything, to learn about said bridge, and it's engineering. The more clues as to what sort of technology used, the better.

>>5570113
...this seems more reasonable....
still, keep a look out for trolls...

>>5570011
>>5570045
It's called: "The artist didn't want to add too much fucking detail". Shit was hidden by bushes, high grass, and trees.

>>5570040
>>5570081
You head towards the bridge and check under it warily.

Momentarily you are caught off guard, surprised by who is under the bridge. Why, it's Raven!"

"Father. Father? Father! Father. Father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father, father."

She smiles suddenly, exposing rows of inhumanly sharp teeth, barely fitting together.

"Come with me to the dark Father. Come with me under the bridge. Sleep with the others in the dark. Just move closer Father."

>>5570199
Check your internal CreepO'Meter, If it's a high rating then calmly back away from her.

>>5570199
Ask what happened to her.
Oh, and the flying praymid of doom, 3, our minions, and everyone else.

>>5570199
WE DEMAND PERFECTION

Pull her out from under the bridge.

>>5570250
this seems too dangerous, try to reason with her and get her out from under the bridge....but do not engage in physical contact..not yet at least...

>>5570199
On second thought. Start break dancing Starting like this.
Put your hands to the side, and as silly as it seems, shake your body like a salmon swimming up stream.

>>5570199
Looks like we got fucked over by our rivals. I knew they wouldn't sit still for lolification.
Stay away from Raven, try to remember if there is any easy way to disable her if she goes for our neck. ANy shut-down codes?

>>5570275
second this.

>>5570199

>>5570217
>>5570218
>>5570250
>>5570268

Considering you normally talk to corpses and spit in the face of god, it take quite a bit for any sort of "Creepy" sensation to affect you.

"Whatever are you talking about Father? Come under the bridge Father. We can play under the bridge."

You try asking her to come out from under the bridge. You notice her edge in closer.

"Why don't you want to come under the bridge Father? It's dark under here. It's nice down here. Everyone loves to rest in the shade down here Father."

>>5570317
Holy shit, what comic is this?

>>5570318
attempt to perform a diagnostic with voice commands.

>>5570318
REFERENCES TO DEATH.
REFERENCES TO DEATH
WARNING WARNING.

Moonwalk the fuck away from her. She is not who she looks like.

>>5570325
Domino, I think.

I really have no idea.

>>5570317
"Candy gram"

>>5570294
No kidding....chances are the rest of the lolis are dead and 3 well...that fading echo could've been her last breath....

And if any of this is correct....they're watching us closely....still, try to reconnect with Raven and....if we're forced to terminate her,....as terrible as it sounds we should salvage what remains of her body and use it to enact pure unadultered revenge on all remaining sentient life....

Prepare to back away, possibly shank with bayonet in critical places as last resort.

>>5570318
Oh shit, If she says "They all rest down here" GET THE FUCK OUT.

>>5570355
Or...well...on second thought...we can just leave...walk over the bridge and continue forward on the road....

War has it's casualties....

>>5570318
We should be careful.

She could be a grue.

>>5570391
Considering this might be a trip to the subconscious, I'd say that sounds good. Although, leaving behind something that might be dangerous later...

>>5570318
Go under the bridge and seduce her.

>>5570327
You issue the voice command.
"Raven, Unit 5. Run a code 3 full diagnostic."

Raven laughs lightly, her eyes going pitch black.

"Why are you talking so silly Father? Do you still want to play? We can play under the bridge. Once you get sleepy I'll even tuck you in with the other sleepy people. Don't you love me Father?"

>>5570461
Ask her why we would want to play under there when there's a much better bridge to play under out here. Then we go and use our Master Thespian Skills to pretend to play under a greater bridge outside.

>>5570461
Ok this is possibly dangerous. Get the fuck out of there.

>>5570483

Seconded.

>>5570461
"Other sleepy people? Can we see them?"

Please do keep a hand on the bayonet.

What is she made of by the way?

Fix the Bayonet and stab the shit outta that bitch.

>>5570461
This is not our daughter. This is not the Raven that we have known, the one who likes anime and plays bass in the band.

This is some vile being that has taken her form, using her to try to lure us to our doom.

Expunge this monster who dares violate our daughter's frame.

>>5570512
>>5570511
third

>>5570461
Shoot. Her.

shoot her right now.

justfuckingdoit.jpg

>>5570522
We can always rebuild her if needed

>>5570522
No try to leave calmly first. If she follows, then take her out.

No sense wasting bullets.

>>5570461

Bitch is too damn cheery to be our Raven. Plus, I don't recall giving her eye implants allowing her to show the blackness of her non existent soul.

Calmly walk away, but be ready for anything.

It appears that someone or something is trying to destroy our sanity by presenting our loved ones as twisted caricatures of their normal selves.
They don't stand a chance.

She didnt respond. This is clearly not Raven, but some other girl who just happens to resemble Raven. Ask her for directions, then get away. Its not becoming of someone of your standing to lurk around under bridges when we still have to figure what is happening here.

what happened to science why didnt you pick that?

>>5570598
True enough, continue then, onwards to adventure following the eh.....barely noticeable dirt road....to the north preferably

>>5570478
"It's too bright for there to be a bridge above us Father. That was a funny joke. Would you like to come under now?"

>>5570483
>>5570489
You back away ready to leave.

"Father! Are you going to go get more people for me to play with father? I'd love to have another new friend Father."

>>5570609
Because this afternoon, I sat in front of my laptop and said: "Man, how can I spite this one guy on /tg/?" Then it was just a stroke of brilliance. Nah, someone picked "gun" first.

>>5570598

Right. If she comes out after us, we can act. But let us just make a note of this so we can torture our rivals even more hideously. Back away and head for the road.

>>5570647
If A highwayman or bandit jumps us either kill him or lead him back to Raven. A new playmate will surely grant us her loyalty.

"Yes dear, papa will get you some more friends, papa will make everything better now, you just rest and sleep, sleep well my little girl"

Then >>5570649

>>5570647
what the christ is that symbol in her eye? Looks kinda familiar....
Were any of our rivals specialists in psionic abilities?

>>5570677
DING! What were their areas of expertise again?

oh shit it's #6

Challenge #6 to stop fighting like a pussy and face us or well tell everyone what a fag he is.

>>5570647
She is either a grue or pic.

We should be afraid either way.

>>5570705

Hmm....intriguing....in that case still follow the road.
We're playing his game....but let's hope he doesn't know he's just playing into ours....I thin....I hope...

O.k., I gonna guess that this numbered asshole's specialty is either hypnosis, telepathy, or some kind of drug induced psychosis.

We've probably come under the grasp of the psychotherapist. We didn't fortify any of our bases against mind raping technology so we're trapped, god damn our lack of forethought.

use SCIENCE to create a mental construct of a destructive viral thought analogue of a computer virus, try and infect the one who is fucking with us

>>5570699
One was proficient in biomechanic design.

One was more inclined towards advanced psychotherapies still in testing.

One was into gene splicing.

One was studying reptiles and ways in which we could apply their adaptations to modern uses.

One was on the verge of new surgical techniques not even dreamed of.

One was into applied Laser technologies that make even you advanced systems seem embarrassingly lacking.

One was researching ground breaking human to computer A.I. Interface technology.

And the last was studying poisons almost avidly, his latest study involving spiders and other such insects.
The last one is #6

>>5570790
If this is induced hypnosis we can turn this against him. Start about crazy shit until he becomes confused or frightened. Expose him to the voices in your head.

>>5570649
>>5570659
>>5570665
>>5570745
>>5570751

The same lilting voice from before floats down from the air.

"The abandoned child. The unknowing parent. To know is to not know. I cannot help you. I can barely reach you. You must not repeat your mistakes."

You turn once more and look back just in time to see Raven hide under the bridge without making a single sound or unsettling the smooth running river.

You've figured it out. It's one of the ten. It must be. This is far deeper than a mere attack though. It must be an attack on the mind. What was the number again? You strain yourself, unable to think of who it is.

Your back pack gains a little more weight.

rolled 18 = 18

>>5570832
Check the pack.

>>5570832
Check that fucking pack

>>5570832
look in pack.

Also look at river. Can you cross it easily?

>>5570832
inspect your backpack

I haven't kept up with this quest much, do you guys think this has to do with past experiences?

Don't let him realize that you found him out. Subtly fight him at every turn. Bid our time until we can strike. We will play his game for now.

>>5570815
>One was proficient in biomechanic design.
He's done for
>One was more inclined towards advanced psychotherapies still in testing.
Hmmm, suspicious...
>One was into gene splicing.
Puplolithing right?
>One was studying reptiles and ways in which we could apply their adaptations to modern uses.
Still running lose
>One was on the verge of new surgical techniques not even dreamed of.
Still running lose too
>One was into applied Laser technologies that make even you advanced systems seem embarrassingly lacking.
Lolimaid
>One was researching ground breaking human to computer A.I. Interface technology.
our waifu
>And the last was studying poisons almost avidly, his latest study involving spiders and other such insects.
Still on the lose....

Seems to be the psychotherapies guy....

When we find him, let's make him into a jester. Break his mind and make him dance for our amusement, what would be worse to a man who's spend his entire life studying the mind then to lose his own.

I think it's clear to everyone with a medocrum of intellegence that we are apparently trapped in some manner of extra-dimensional simulation matrix. We have possibly been placed within this "Matrix" by one of our enemies. The environs around us and those people that we encounter are likely simply simulations of people drawn from our recent memories. That was not Raven, for example, but something that seemed like Raven. If, indeed, we have been placed into this "matrix" by one of our earstwhile enemies, then it stands to reason that we are being toyed with (hence our current predicament rather than outright death). This likely being the case, I hypothesise that we have three options regarding our escape from this 'matrix.' First, we must outsmart this system. This shouldnt be too much trouble for our outstanding intellect, but our opponent may have planned for many such inevitabilities and may be planning for just such an attempt, making this option quite dangerous. Second, we must prove triumphant over this 'game' of wills and wits we have been placed in. Likely this is playing directly into the hands of our enemies, but knowing the type we routinely deal with, they have vastly underestimated us, and claiming victory will catch them off guard. Third, we may simply attempt to outlast the game. Our disapearence has no doubt caused alarm in our minions who are most likely out to rescue us at this very moment. There is no telling how long it may take for this rescue though, and we may be subject to some manner of temperal misperception wherein time is traveling faster for us than for reality.

(cont...)

>>5570927
It being established that this is some manner of simulated reality, and one in which our foe has trapped us in an attempt to defeat us, we must mindful of a few factors. There will likely be many dangers ahead of us. Often, these may take the forms of things we perceive of as safe, perhaps even drawn from our memories as indeed this Raven imposter was. We should be warey. We must prepare ourselves to defend against our friends and comrades in battle. We must also be aware of more... liberal... interpretations of reality. 'Magic' may be common here, as irritating as it is to imagine. We must be on guard from unexpected quarters.

With any luck #3 has become aware of our situation and is attempting to infiltrate and assist as we speak. The weapon could be a sign of it.

Truly, an unfortunate situation we have landed ourselves in, but one that, most assuredly we can overcome.
We are, after all, a man of science.

>>5570917
>When we find him, let's make him into a jester-loli. Break his mind and make him dance for our amusement, what would be worse to a man who's spend his entire life studying the mind then to lose his own, and also lose his manhood.

>>5570846
>>5570849
>>5570857
Inside of it you find a strange blue fruit.

As you continue to walk along the dirt road, you see a town slowly coming into view. Surprised, you hear what sounds like someone crying as quietly as they can off to the side.

You have:
-(1) Strange Garb(s)
-(1) Mysterious Backpack(s)
-(1) Long Barreled Musket(s)
-(20) Prepared Pouches Of Shot
-(1)Stack(s) Of Paper
-(1)Small Bag(s) Of Lead Bullets
-(1)Small Bag(s) Of Black Powder
-(1) Attachable Bayonet
(New Items)
-(1) Familiar Fruit(s)

>>5570832
Okay, I have a question...

WHEN did we get hit by this guy? I mean, did we eat or drink something toxic? Did we look at a screen we weren't supposed to?

>>5570942
Lets make sure we have ratholes and paths throughout his head though, so we can bring him back at a moments notice if we have some need of him.

So I'm new to the Bad Guy Quest threads.

Why does the intrepid villain wear a monocle?

>>5570927
>>5570931
If we are forced to face our old allies we better hope to the God-Emperor we don't have to face Determined Minion.

Go back, light bridge on fire.

>>5570965
Because we're a stylish mother fucker that's why.

>>5570949

I suspect the fruit may be a gift from #3, who could be attempting to assist us as best she can.
We must either eat this fruit immediatly or save it for a special occasion.
Let us go investigate this crying. Perhaps we can get directions while we are at it.

Be on the guard though.

>>5570953
In a situation like this, we could have lost whatever short term memory of the event we should have. As long as we are here at least... even thinking about this objectively is difficult.

>>5570931
A very astute, albeit overly verbose review. I recommend we don't harm anyone we know though, if he's gotten to us who's to say that our minions aren't in here with us. That possibility of danger for us is nil as we have a doomsday device rigged to our heart like a dead man's switch, but he could be trying to tempt us to destroy our minions minds.

>>5570949
Eat it!

>>5570982
Damn we're smart. You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.

Also polite sage

Go back, ride bridge like mechanical bull

>>5570953
I'm assuming he used some sort of beam to attack our mind. Our base is nigh impenetrable to conventional means of infiltration or attack, but we did not prepare for someone to be so cocky as to attack our mind directly.

I think this may be an attempt at mind control.
This voice that's helping us is either 3 infiltrating the system, or our enemy trying to get us to trust him/her and be against our own minions.

For now, let us follow our advice.

Attempt to avoid past mistakes.

>>5570949
Examine the fruit

We must remain wary, if this is 3 then it could be our salvation that lies in the fruit. If it isn't then the good doctor could be preparing to screw us over royally, proceed with caution gentlemen.

Agree, don't harm those who mirror out minions.

Its a deadly game we play. We must be one step ahead of an enemy who assume's we'll be one step ahead of him. Our greatest hope is that he's overconfident in his abilities. He may think it inconceivable that we'll be victorious.

Take a bite of the fruit, just a little nibble to see what happens

lick the fruit

Voting examine fruit but save for later.

>>5570981
Fair enough.

I don't think it's the amount of fruit we consume that will effect us, it's the mental act of willingly eating it. That being said it seems like we have no other choice then to eat it to progress.

Oh .. & .. uh .. look off to the side. What's going on over there?

>>5570980

The voice from before flares up, sounding panicked.

"Bewar-"

As it cuts off, it only seems to echo throughout the forest just as you reach the source.

Two very familiar faces seem to stick out of a tree, weeping quietly. At first they don't notice you.

"Why are we here? Why does it hurt?"

One of them finally notices you.

"Please, it hurts. My stomach... Our stomachs hurt. We're so hungry. Why are we so hungry?"

She notices the fruit in your hand. "Please, feed me the fruit."

The second head only continues to weep.

>>5571141
wat.
don't give them the fruit, it's a trap. A horrible, horrible trap.

>>5571141
Take a bite out of the fruit to determine edibility. Then give it to them.

( For now play dumb )

Who are you & what are you doing here?

>>5571141
Is that nameless and Mary?

>>5571141
OH SHI-
Don't feed 'em the fruit...either leave or....no, nothing else, just leave......

>>5571141
Oh comon, do we really look that gullible?

Ignore the heads, investigate the fruit

>>5571141
It's trying to steal the fruit away from us. If it looked trustworthy that might be one thing, but this shit is tripping balls. Take a bite of that damn blue fruit.

>>5571141
Laugh Diabolically.
"YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!"
Then eat the delicious fruit right infront of them.

>>5571141

Okay. Break off a little for them to eat. They didn't specify how much they wanted now, did they?

So right now we have more votes for eat the fruit?

>>5571185
If anything, throw them the stem

>>5571190
EAT THE FRUIT.
advicexom.png
BE AMUSED.

>>5571190
I think so.

Save some though, just in case. Also, look around for something else to eat. We'll feed them that. Just to fuck with whoever is running the game.

( We're gonna be pissed off at the apparent abuse of our minions but we ain't givin' up the fruit back to that tree. )

Yell out to the sky "Neat take on the knowledge fable. What's next? A snake?" ( sotto voice: "Asshole." )

Somebody roll a dice.

>>5571141
>The voice from before flares up, sounding panicked.
Sounds good enough to me!

EAT.

>>5571212

what type?

rolled 22 = 22

Come on critical!

>>5571222
Eh... Let's use the good old fashioned d20.

rolled 8 = 8

Come on critical on a proper d20!

Yah. Consensus seems to be to eat. It came from the tube 'o plenty so it should safe & meant for us.

>>5571234
Well let's hope we aren't doing anything too critical.

>>5571234
Err... I hope we add our Int bonus to that or something

rolled 20 = 20

>>5571237
>Meant for us
Thats what worries me.

>>5571251
Lets use this roll instead.

>>5571251
If only you were three posts faster.

>>5571256
No, let's play with what fate has dealt us, it's not fun if we have everything handed to us.

>>5571234

"Your recommended daily average fiber intake has been partly sated."

>>5571270
I don't care what we're handed, as long as it isnt a sword through the gut.

we rolled an 8. I'm a little scared.

rolled 19 = 19

Would my rolls be disqualified because you can't see them? I could force a 1 on every roll and nobody would know.

This better not be some freaked out virtual mushroom!

>>5571294
NO NO IT'S PERFECT

IT MEANS WE 8 THE FRUIT

>>5571306
...
Manclapping.gif

>>5571141

Isn't that cannibalism? They are a tree, after all. Inappropriate behavior, -10 brownie points.

Just a heads, we're 40 posts from autosage. We may be in wonderland for a few more sessions, unless our patron Scientist here feels like going extra long tonight.

>>5571306
wow you're right

Lets make a mental note.
When we get back, we'll get Raven some new friends.
Then we'll get some delicious fresh fruits for the twins.

>>5571234
>>5571272
If only.

>>5571336

Yes, yes! Agreed!

>>5571302
Dude. Don't break the trust system over something like this. I'll catch on eventually when you start getting 21's.

>>5571344
wat

>>5571344

*blink*

Hair pie?

>>5571344
attempt to projectile vomit the fire NOT AT THE TWINS

>>5571344
The hell? Spit the fire out. Does it burn at all?
Well... this is clearly some sort of mistake. Lets pocket what remains for now and go looking for some more food we might be able to give the tree.

>>5571344
Well shit. If I had a quarter for everytime I have caught fire.

>>5571344
AAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAH


OW OW OW OW OW FUUUUUUUUUUCK

>>5571344

OH GOD OUR MOUTH'S ON FIRE! QUICK, BREATH FLAMES ONTO THE TREE!

..Wait, that's too Beard Beard there.

REGURGITATE THE FLAMES INTO THE TREE! FOR SCIENCE!

Actually if the fruit causes fire it's a good thing we didn't feed the twins or else they would be burning to death right now. Note to self barter for food in town and bring the twins some.

>>5571344
*sigh*

Ok, spit out the little #3

>>5571396

We'll go with this after our burny purge.

>>5571396
second.

(inb4 town full of minions)

breath out the fire, not at the tree

>>5571344
Not the way we want to be eating our waifu.

Hold it in as long as possible. I... trust this fruit for some reason.

Does the fire hurt?

Ok.

The next weirdinated thing we run across gets lead poisoning.

All in favor?

we're bad at this.
OP I hope it isn't you that keeps figuring everything out, that's cheating.

>>5571493
Nay.This is a game of wits. We must be scientific about it. We shall only use our weapon when the time calls for us to use our weapon.

>>5571510
what specifically are you refering to when you say "figuring things out"?

>>5571529
I'm refering to these posts.
>>5570677
>>5571467

>>5571396
>>5571368
>>5571374
>>5571375
>>5571383
Well you don't.
>>5571391
>>5571393
>>5571396
>>5571411
>>5571416
After your initial freak out from having your fucking mouth catch fire, you check the damage. Oh look, you burnt your entire mouth. Wondering on whether or not to get food at the town and come back, you look towards the path and notice that leading towards the bridge that you came from earlier is a chasm.

>>5571510
>>5571548
I can 100% honestly say that I have been using my tripname/code/whatever it is, every single post in this thread.

>>5571548
I'm the one who made that first post, and last I checked I wasn't The Scientist.

>>5571551
Head towards the town, ignore the helltree's cries.

>>5571551
Stupid sexy fruit.
Ok, pocket the fruit.
Appologise to the tree. Tell it its just a figment of our imagination anyway. We'll feed the real them when we get out. Continue on to town.

>>5571551
Nice scar. If we lose our lips we'll be even creepier.

ANYWAY.
TO TOWN.

>>5571564
>>5571567
Sorry then, I suppose I'm just paranoid.

Proceed to the town!

Hmm... We seem to be losing ground.
Better get a move on, eh? Before we find ourselves off on another trip. I hear casms are splended during the fall. Hope we can find a hotel in the town. We don't want to plum-it.

Etc, etc.

We need to find some sort of civilization, we need to treat the burn or it could have serious implications in reality. There should be medical supplies, or things we can turn into medical supplies.

>>5571551
"Mental note to self:

Replace lips.
Remove necessity to eat."

>>5571591
If we lose our lips it would be difficult to speak, and we'd sound silly making grand speeches in front of our minions.

>>5571636
Also if we ever build that body for 3 things will get rather weird

>>5571647
technically 3 has a body...

Its just... you know... loli...

Poor, Poor 3...

Are we autosaging yet?

>>5571660
You know... when we build our moonbase... we should see about hollowing the thing out and using it as massive computer for 3.

So, we done for the night?

>>5571682
We'd best not be. I want to know what the fuck happens next. Doesnt feel like we've done much, all in all.

Even if we are autosaging...

We've gotta archive this!

>>5571704
It already is.

>>5571567
>>5571578
>>5571591
>>5571592
>>5571601
>>5571607
Leaving the twins as they are, you steel yourself as their pleas grow louder, the second adding in finally. They beg and pleading, wailing out in desperation. For food, for mercy, for attention, for anything. Finally they to, fade away. For a second reality seems to ripple before settling.

We're auto saging. Well, this is a good time for me to stop for the night to.

Tune in tomorrow night folks. We'll continue the trip further into your obviously sick subconscious.

>>5571724
It seems like undergoing extreme emotional duress makes this illusion falter. We need to find a way to use this.

>>5571724
He is toying with us. Trying to weaken our will by using our family against us. We must steel ourselves and continue moving. It's all an illusion they are not our family. When we beat him at his own game we will show our family how much they mean to us.

>>5571724
Fools! We should of treated them as daughters and not minions. We have doomed them by turning our backs on them

Shit... no I'm wondering if we've been doing the right thing...

Who keeps tagging these things as "Bad Gay Quest" in the archives? that's really going to screw up the reading order for some people.

>>5571799
God I love using "Gray" scenarios.

>>5571809
Did you see the one where they named it "Dad Guy Quest"?

>>5571822
Yeah, but that was tagged properly at least. Look, http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bad%20Guy%20Quest

#2, #13, and #14 are not on the list because they are mistagged and show up under http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bad%20Gay%20Quest

Oh, nice twist btw Sci. Way to shake things up a little.

>>5571883
I'm laughing at the labels and thanks. I feel pretty good with this little number.

Aw crap. I copied the tags over from a previous one without looking too closely. The tagging was a total oops - not a stupid attempt at sabotage.

I'm off to beg on the IRC channel for a fix.

Sorry about that guys.

I'm the guy who accidentally tagged 2 and 13. I just copy pasted from the name of bad guy quest one, which was misnamed as bad gay quest.

Then I wasnt really paying attention on the autocomplete for 13.

Sorry guys. I sent an email.

>>5571954
>>5571981
That only makes it funnier for me.

>>5571934
You should feel good Sci. With Reaver on vacation from tgchan, you're the best quester active right now.

God damn it. I am determined to be the last one to post on my own thread for once.

>>5572022
And I will take that compliment to make my ego grow.

>>5572149
You can try Scientist. But we will always be one step ahead of you.
And one step after.