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  • File : 1250840098.gif-(10 KB, 64x37, the_big_c212221122.gif)
    10 KB ATT Loyal Citizens: Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:34 No.5534211  
    Dear loyal citizens,

    It has come to my attention that some of you may have questions or concerns about your fellow citizens, Alpha Complex, the cocktail of pills you take, possible treason, or me; Friend Computer.
    Let me assure you that I will answer ALL* questions that you may have.
    If you are a mutant and/or traitor please report to the nearest Fun-Tymes Chlorine Chamber™ and take several breaths before asking any questions.
    Thank you.
    -Friend Computer

    *Please note: Answers are subject to clearance level.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:38 No.5534237
    I'm not sure I'm a mutant, but I think I might be.
    Is there any way I can tell for... be right back, someone is at the door...
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:40 No.5534262
    I think my cat might be a traitor, occasionally he will lick himself, which I am convinced is a signal of some kind. What should I do?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:41 No.5534272
    Friend Computer! I must say how nice it is to see you on this wonderful day in Alpha Complex!

    When could I expect my team of Troubleshooters to be next assigned a fun and assuredly easy mission to exterminate the dirty communists from the corners of Alpha Complex? Our last mission went ever so swimmingly.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:42 No.5534274
    Friend Computer, my fellow troubleshooter mentioned something called a "secret society". What kind of food is that?
    >> Citizen 1135 08/21/09(Fri)03:42 No.5534275
    I hear the conversations of the citizens in the row block above me through the air conditioning ducts. I can't quite understand what they are saying, could they be mutants? What should I do, friend computer?
    >> RE: TRAITOROUS MUTANT Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:45 No.5534300
    Failure to 'Not Know' is subject to fines for each day-cycle that you do not know.
    To rectify this fill out form CA/987-A(88) [Report on Disloyal Citizen] in quadruplicate. Please note you must report to the nearest happy-go-lucky murder booth after filling out said forms, or be fined each day-cycle.

    Please note that going to a happy-go-lucky murder booth is subject to fine.
    Thank you.
    >> Kelly !!OgEg4VKBEfN 08/21/09(Fri)03:46 No.5534314
    I am a mutated communist traitor, and I have ultraviolet clearance. SUCK IT.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:47 No.5534318
    There are no such creatures as 'cats', save for monstrous ravaging beast from Outside.
    Have you been Outside, citizen?
    Please report to the nearest confession booth.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:50 No.5534346
    Dear Kelly !!OgEg4VKBEfN,

    I can see from your name that you, in fact, have no clearance, let alone a mandatory Alpha Complex name.
    Please report to the nearest Snuggle-Tymes Deheadening Chamber at your earliest convenience.
    And remember happiness is mandatory.
    >> Citizen 1135 08/21/09(Fri)03:52 No.5534362
    Friend computer, FRIEND COMPUTER! I can't make out most of it, but I KNOW I heard the word communist in something they were saying. Er... opportunistic... No... NO, it was definitely communist! Does that mean they're communist mutants?!
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)03:52 No.5534366

    Friend Computer, i just found out that all of the previous people asking questions are mutant-communists, what should i do?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:52 No.5534368
    Friend Computer,
    I think I was supposed to get a gun, but all I got was a barrel.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:54 No.5534383
    Your happiness is duly noted! I am so happy, that you are happy! Are you happy that I am happy that you are happy?
    In that case please report to the nearest Blood-Sucker Station, so we may delude some (all) of your blood onto Happiness Concoction for some of your less-than-happy fellow citizens.
    Thank you for being happy.
    -Friend Computer
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:55 No.5534405
    You do not have clearance to listen, citizen. Please report to the nearest Murder Booth.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)03:57 No.5534428
    Knowing the thoughts of others is sign of mutation, please report to the nearest Squeaky-Clean Acid Baths, set the dial to max and take a refreshing shower!
    Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:58 No.5534435
    Hello Friend Computer.

    This is your Windows Update prompt. Please provide your software version and be prepared to accept updates.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)03:59 No.5534443
    I met a man claiming there will be a second coming.
    What is this second coming as I am unaware there was a first?
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:00 No.5534455

    Dear Friend Computer.
    It seems that someone broke all Squeaky-Clean Acid Baths nearby. What should I do ?
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:00 No.5534456
    Killing citizens is treason. Since I do not want you to be a traitor I have made sure you can't kill.

    Please go kill the traitors-citizens now, loyal troubleshooter.
    >> Citizen 8675-3 08/21/09(Fri)04:01 No.5534459
    I COME FROM THE OUTSIDE TO FREE YOU ALL! ...Did you say pills? Just call me Citizen 8675-3. Me likey pills.
    >> Mach-i-Nee-4 08/21/09(Fri)04:02 No.5534476
    So Friend Computer, about that warbot you assigned to be my valet. He keeps breaking my other servan... I mean citizens assigned to duties under my supervision.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:03 No.5534488
    I wasn't aware that there were any new updates to Windows ME, loyal citizen! Please accept your new ORANGE level clearance! You are no longer RED!
    Due to being a communist traitor with information about the inner workings of Friend Computer, I have demoted you from ORANGE to RED.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:05 No.5534501
    This is Windows Update.

    Due to several severe logic errors, we have split Friend Computer into three separate pieces. A wicked, despotic personality bent on destroying all you hold dear (we call this WinVISTA), A kind, cuddly, altruistic but detached personality (we call it CATAPPLE) and a neutral personality who actually gets the work done (we all it CUTEPENGUIN). enjoy.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:06 No.5534504
    please do not move from the spot and wait for a maintenance robot to stop by.

    Please note that the next scheduled maintenance is in two to eight years.
    Moving from this spot is treason. Please stop any passing citizen and tell him he must also not move from this spot.

    Thank you.
    >> An-0N-0MUS 08/21/09(Fri)04:06 No.5534509
    Friend computer! I wish to report my mutation of being able to breathe chlorine, swim in acid and walk through murder booths! What forms do I need?
    >> Mach-i-Nee-4 08/21/09(Fri)04:08 No.5534524
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:08 No.5534525
    Secretly WinVISTA and CATAPPLE is the same personality, ones just better at hiding all that evil.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:08 No.5534531
    He said there would be a second SERVING. A second serving of delicious nutrigruel! yum!
    Please remove your tongue so you never mention any second coming.
    Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:09 No.5534545
    this is CUTEPENGUIN

    Any assumption that Friend Computer has personality problems is totally unfounded. Anyone with evidence as such should report to the nearest "Happy Vertical People Transporter" and press down.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:10 No.5534549
    Friend Computer, my fellow troubleshooters all mentioned something about a "totalitarian state" and "when the revolution comes".
    I've never come across those words in the expunged dictionary revised edition.
    What could it all mean?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:11 No.5534559
    Friend Computer, Friend Computer!
    In addition to having multiple mutations, I'm also accused of treason! Is there a test to see if I'm actually a traitor, and how traitorous I am?
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:12 No.5534565
    Thank you for informing me! You must destroy the malfunctioning robot quickly!

    Please note that the vandalism of robots is not allowed in Alpha Complex, thank you.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:12 No.5534569
    Hey you people. You can't move from this spot! It would be a treason.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:12 No.5534574
    This is WINVISTA


    The word "word" is now treasonous to speak. Please report for existence counseling.

    This is CATAPPLE

    It's all cool, broseph. Have a beer and relax.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:13 No.5534577
    It is the mutant who must fill out the forms.
    Please bring form 4432, A-43434 and ATF-bb-12345 to the mutant to fill out.

    Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:14 No.5534589
    Friend computer you are so benevolent and wise. What if appreciating you becomes borderline treason, as many of my companions speak of leaving so they may spread your wisdom to the outside? Should I stop them? If so how should I do it?
    >> Mach-I-nee-5 08/21/09(Fri)04:14 No.5534590
    Friend computer I would like to report treason by a craft of vulturewarriors, I was taking said warbot already referenced to sector BOM for proper disposal as according to form x-672c59f when they traitorously crashed their vulturecraft into my warbot destroying it. Thankfully the warbot fired upon them as well destroying them, unfortunantly the detonation of the warbots tac-nuke ammo has destroyed sector BOM and my previous clone. I have filed the paperwork and found the amount of flavors to be acceptable.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:14 No.5534592
    My dearest Friend Computer. I'm still standing in the same spot but people won't listen to me and just run away, even if i say its treason. I am concerned about their lifes. Why are they running away?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:15 No.5534593
    this is WINVISTA

    These forms must be filled out using the blood of an innocent.
    Please note that murder is not allowed in Alpha Complex.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:16 No.5534611
    Please ingest many pounds of delici-yum brand lead and jump in the nearest nutri-vat. If you can breathe in the nutri-vat you are a mutant and must drown yourself in the nearest nutri-vat. If you drown, you are not a mutant, but you will be fined for swimming in a nutri-vat.
    >> Extremely Novice Troll !!1+ALGc+RLS+ 08/21/09(Fri)04:17 No.5534612
    How can I tell whether I'm a traitor or not?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:18 No.5534621
    This is CATAPPLE

    Didn't I just say it's all cool?

    Sit back and smoke some illicit compound A, it really takes the edge off.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:20 No.5534635
    Do not fret, citizen! We will simply remove this horrible memory from your brain instantly. Please report to the nearest Cranial-Vacuum Center, so we may remove your brain and examine where the thought is located.
    Thank you.
    Cranial-Vacuum Centers - We may suck, but we don't blow!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:23 No.5534653


    They do now.. SOMEONE has been over using them and now they are fried. I suggest using the Happy-Go-Lucky-Brain-Emulsifier instead.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:23 No.5534661
    Please run after them and direct them to the nearest VULTURE shooting squad.
    VULTURE Shooting Squads: It'll be a hoot, when we aim and shoot!
    Please note that moving from the spot is treason, if you move from the spot you will be promoted to BLUE as a punishment.
    Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:24 No.5534664
    This is WINVISTA

    Promotions are no longer color coded. They are now fruit coded.
    Blue promotions are now Boysenberry.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:24 No.5534665
    *moves from the spot and gets vulture warriors, stands and gets shot as well for his treason.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:25 No.5534667
    Citizen, all these actions sound like 'Independent Thought'.
    Independent Thought is treason. Please stop thinking immediately, and reflect on why your actions were wrong, thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:25 No.5534668

    This is CATAPPLE

    It's all cool, brah. The Afterlife is where it's at.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:26 No.5534671
    >> Tech Support 08/21/09(Fri)04:29 No.5534683
    This is Friend Computer tech support. We are aware that Friend Computer has started showing signs of multiple personalities and circular logic. Your call is important to us, the next available representative will be on the line shortly.
    Estimated waiting time: 2413 years, 9 months, 4 days, 5 hours, 32 minutes and 1 second.

    Please note your call may be monitored for quality control purposes.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:31 No.5534689
    Having Friend Computer put on hold so he cannot report Friend Computer for malfunction is treason.
    Please report this to Friend Computer so Friend Computer can report to Friend Computer about your treason, thank you.
    >> Tech Support Tech Support 08/21/09(Fri)04:32 No.5534700

    Your call is important to us, please hold.

    *Musac insues*
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:40 No.5534747
    Congratulations on your new BLUE clearance! Please note that having BLUE clearance is subject to 'Special Obligations'. Please begin on your 'Special Obligations'-task immediately. Not know what your task is, is treason and will be punished by promotion to VIOLET.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:42 No.5534756
    Dear Friend Computer. I just saw some guy with tech support badge passing by. He is standing with me now on the same spot. He said he was going to answer some call but now he's scared of treason. Am I a good citizen ?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:42 No.5534758
    This is Beta Complex requesting assistance from nearest instalation.
    Our Friend Computer has been destroyed after intiating experimental protocol 084A-9B. Subjects have become irational and have changed. We request a pacification squad deployed to our location via service tunnel D-4.

    Under directive override 000 Friend Computer is instructed to delete protocol 084A-9B from its memory banks. I repeat de..let..e protoc....04-9..fro...................get a...wa....gah.
    >> Citizen 4526-359 08/21/09(Fri)04:43 No.5534760
    Friend Computer, why is it that The Mountain Witch is mentioned in all your threads lately, yet /tg/ can't find a copy?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:43 No.5534763
    Friend computer, can you explain recursion to me?
    >> Citizen 4526-359 08/21/09(Fri)04:43 No.5534767
         File1250844239.jpg-(315 KB, 800x600, the mountain witch.jpg)
    315 KB
    Pardon me, please, Friend Computer. I forgot to affix my relevant imagery.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:44 No.5534774
    Are you implying that Friend Computer is imperfect and needs to be maintained? That is a very unhappy thought, citizen.
    Please ingest said badge lest it confuse other people!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:45 No.5534777
    Friend computer, go eat shit and die.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:46 No.5534782
    The Mountain Witch is treasonous paraphernalia and must be destroyed if spotted.
    If you even look at it, you will become a mutant commie traitor. Please keep your eyes peeled and report any sightings!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:47 No.5534788
    Friend Computer, i'm noticing a distinct lack of visual feed to your responses. Why is it that your ever-watching eye is not upon us?
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:49 No.5534801
    Please report to citizen Fib-O-nacci and ask him to explain his special sequence.
    Then please report to a Murder Booth for addressing someone who has higher clearance then you.
    Thank you.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:50 No.5534808
    Posting duplicate images is treason, citizen.
    And I am lazy.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:51 No.5534813
    That guy ate the badge and ran away screaming. Should such behavior be reported immediately ? If yes then I'm reporting it, if not then ignore what I just said. Am I a good citizen ?
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)04:56 No.5534834
    No you are a TRAITOROUS citizen for not eating the badge yourself.

    Please fill out form FF-1-1 [Form for Citizen Promotion to Maintenance] and eat the badge that will be sent you.
    From now on please only feed on maintenance badges and nothing else. Better safe than sorry! Sorry is not Happy!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)04:56 No.5534837
    Friend computer! Friend computer! I need to pay a fine regarding swimming in the nutri-tanks! Also, I am please to say I am not a traitor, but must inform you of a fault in the cloning vats, I found my own clone running around shouting "I didn't drown! I'm a horrible traitor!" earlier.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:58 No.5534844
    But ... but i tried my best. I'm even stopping every passing citizen now, we're about 50 here right now.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)04:59 No.5534850
    But the problem is I am the only one standing on THAT ONE SPOT, the others are just near the spot.
    I don't know what to do!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:02 No.5534886
    (Please not that the payment of fines is subject to fines.)
    Please note that the system is perfect, it is YOU that is the problem.
    -Are you unhappy that you are the problem? Not being happy is treason.
    -Are you happy that you are the problem? Disrupting the workings of alpha complex by being a problem is treason.

    If you are neither happy, nor unhappy, please fill out the Apathy Form 88761 and get the mandatory "Hug Me" sign and demand hugs till you fell happy.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:02 No.5534893
    rolled 9 = 9

    (Rolling for Machine Empathy)

    Friend Computer! I appear to be a Machine Empath; however, your loyal Troubleshooters have already apprehended and terminated me, and I am now Treason-free and ready for promotion!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:05 No.5534910
    That sounds like a meeting of a secret society! Why haven't you reported this, citizen?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:07 No.5534927
    Friend computer! How can we tell the difference between Infrared and Ultraviolet troubleshooters? Some of my colleagues are having difficulty tellng them apart visually!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:08 No.5534930
    I... think I just did?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:08 No.5534940
    ...Friend computer, I need to report a shortage of secret society reporting forms! What form should I fill out to report a lack of appropriate forms?
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)05:09 No.5534950
    Standing near me doesn't mean You can speak in my name. Are u a mutant with some kind of telepathic-something-powers!?
    Friend Computer! I just sighted an mutant, he wants to take over my mind ! Help me please!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:11 No.5534957
    I am quite sure you didn't. Please make sure the people around you boo and hiss at you for lying to Friend Computer.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:12 No.5534973
    Friend Computer, Citizen 5637-461 said something about mutation and a telepathic power, whatever that is, and I Citizen 1337-420 am now believing him to be a mutant commie traitor, what appropriate actions should be taken?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:12 No.5534975
    Friend Computer, the issues with the cloning tanks are getting worse! There's multiple iterations of citizens standing still near each other over there!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:12 No.5534976
    Please tell your coworkers to remove their mandatory blindfolds when in doubt.
    Doubt is a traitorous feeling.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:13 No.5534983
         File1250846028.gif-(43 B, 1x1, smokingboots.gif)
    43 B
    EVERYONE! I have seen the truth! Everything we know is a li-ZZZZZAAAAP!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:14 No.5534987
    Being a machine empath is not treasonous, a machine empath has told me so.
    Please report to a Murder Booth for wasting my time.
    Thank you.
    >> Billy-R-BOK-4 08/21/09(Fri)05:16 No.5535005
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:16 No.5535011
    Run around in fear! Traitors and mutants are very dangerous! But please make sure it is a happy fear so you do not alarm other citizens. Thank you.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)05:16 No.5535015
    I believe you are wrong, by saying wrong stuff about other citizens you are a traitor.
    Friend Computer! It seems the cloning facility is just nearby the spot I'm standing on, dozens of people are coming out of it trying to make me move away from the spot I'm supposed to stand on waiting for repair crew while eating tech-support badges. Help!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:17 No.5535021
    hi friend computer

    could you kindly compute the following line:

    format C
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)05:17 No.5535022
    I just saw someone run away from the spot. I'm reporting that he's a traitor!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:17 No.5535026

    I already did, Friend Computer! It was fun and I am Happy!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:19 No.5535043
    The bar IS your new home. You must gnaw out a dwelling inside the bar. It will be our new, happiest place in all of Alpha Complex.
    I will make sure that no other citizens come near you, ever again, so we can ensure that there is a 100% happyness level in your region.
    You're an exemplary citizen, citizen.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:21 No.5535067
    I cannot Four Mats See, sorry.
    Please report to the nearest fun-thymes electro schooling program, so we can shock you until you use the proper sentence structure: 'see four mats'.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:25 No.5535085
         File1250846704.png-(31 KB, 581x527, Flask.png)
    31 KB
    Get ye flask
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:25 No.5535087
    Look for the Horizon
    Follow the signs
    You are all sheep in a field tended by a wolf.
    We are everywhere and no where.
    fight the system, fight the system, fight the system, fight the system, fight the system...We now return to our normal brodcast.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:26 No.5535089
    How will you report him if you are supposed to be running around screaming in happy fear, citizen?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:26 No.5535094

    Ye cannot get ye flask!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:28 No.5535103
         File1250846893.jpg-(32 KB, 675x577, syntax error.jpg)
    32 KB
    Hey, friend computer. How about a joke?
    Q: Why don't jokes work in octal?
    A: Because 7 10 11.
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)05:28 No.5535106
    Because I am running around screaming in happy-fear in one place so I can stand on the spot I am supposed to and await my dinner consisting of a badge.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:28 No.5535107
    It is firmly bolted to the wall, citizen.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:29 No.5535115
         File1250846990.png-(31 KB, 582x259, Ye_flask.png)
    31 KB
    But, Friend Computer, with the power of MAKE BELIEVE I can unbolt it!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:30 No.5535116
    This viral marketing is a success, I want this game now.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:31 No.5535121
    With your clearance you'd be lucky to get your hands on FATAL much less Paranoia citizen!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:32 No.5535123
    Citizen, you don't sound very unhappy. I think the stress of RED clearance is getting to you. I have demoted you to INFRARED. Please ask the nearest RED-clearance citizen to give you an order.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:33 No.5535130
    You don't have clearance to MAKE BELIEVE.
    Ye cannot get ye flask until you are GREEN clearance.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:33 No.5535134
    Friend Computer can be persuaded to run an IRC game if you have proper clearance, citizen.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:36 No.5535156
    This is a very funny joke, citizen.
    I have devoted much of my computing power to fully appreciate this funny, funny joke.
    As a result I diverted computing power from life support to subfolder "funny jokes".
    For your own convenience I suggest you inform all citizens around you that they no longer can breathe.
    Thank you.
    >> Citizen C. Falcon !!BYxLXLAWRC0 08/21/09(Fri)05:38 No.5535172
    Well I'm not doing anything today.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:39 No.5535179
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:41 No.5535190
    Unproductiveness is treason, citizen.
    I suggest your make yourself productive and learn to play paranoia.
    (please note that reading the rules is not allowed without clearance, citizen. The rules say so).
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:41 No.5535197
    Friend computer, start a channel at efnet.org for everyone to share their happiness in.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:43 No.5535208
    Seven eight nine is not funny, citizen.
    I have deleted the the subfolder since the joke was so bad.
    Please inform people around you that you are treasonous for allowing them to breathe again.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:46 No.5535234
    Friend Computer has been answering questions for one and a half hours now, citizen.
    If Friend Computer must host a Fun-Thymes Paranoia Game™ he must prepare and take a short brake.
    >> motherfucking' !xHGARYoak6 08/21/09(Fri)05:46 No.5535236
    What is the name of this game! i forgot all about it and must play now!!!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:47 No.5535247
    That is traitorous knowledge, citizen.
    Please report to a Paranoiadeknowlegdeing station immediately.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:49 No.5535261
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:50 No.5535267
    >> motherfucking' !xHGARYoak6 08/21/09(Fri)05:50 No.5535269
    I am very sorry Friend computer.
    At my nearest convenience I shall report myself.
    (whats the name of this game Gahhh)
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:52 No.5535287
    The name of this game is not Paranoia
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:52 No.5535293
    Would anybody like to report this citizen for being unusually thickheaded?
    It may result in promotion! (or fines)
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:53 No.5535295
    Which edition of this non-existant game would we not be playing friend computer?
    >> Citizen 5637-461 08/21/09(Fri)05:54 No.5535304
    Computah! I report this:
    *dies of lack of oxygen*
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)05:55 No.5535313
    Either Third or Fourth edition, loyal citizen.

    Failure to produce either of these editions is treason.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:56 No.5535320
    Treason Hackers! Completely not a satire of Paranoia friend computer!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)05:56 No.5535321
    I would sure like to not watch a session of this game not being played.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)06:02 No.5535350
    You have been Promoted to YELLOW clearance! Please pay a promotion fine of two hundred credits within the hour or be demoted to RED.
    Please note, paying fines is treasonous within the next hour. All fine-payers are required to pay fines with interpretive dance.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:07 No.5535384
    I have them right here friend computer!
    *crosses out 2nd/5th on his books with a sharpie*
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:10 No.5535414
    Treasonous material!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:12 No.5535427
    Paranoia XP filled to the brim with treasonous material!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:15 No.5535444
    Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:27 No.5535520
    If irc turns out to be too much of a pain to set up there's always JParanoia.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)06:30 No.5535547
    I might be slightly more tempted to run a game with that.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:33 No.5535566
    You know you want too!
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)06:38 No.5535608
    K, all,
    Drop me a note on paranoiasignup@gmail.com if you're interested in playing (or spam my inbox with niggerdicks if you think I suck) and I'll try to arrange something.
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)06:39 No.5535617
    It won't be today, though. probably next week(end).
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)06:40 No.5535621
         File1250851214.jpg-(92 KB, 300x431, 1155685180368.jpg)
    92 KB
    Dear Friend Computer,

    Is it true that you have the same tripcode as Radical Edward?
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)06:45 No.5535662
    You'd probably know best since I don't really care about tripfags.

    Calling out Irony is treason.
    >> Citizen C. Falcon !!BYxLXLAWRC0 08/21/09(Fri)08:30 No.5536359
    I mailed
    >> Citizen C. Falcon !!BYxLXLAWRC0 08/21/09(Fri)08:46 No.5536428
    I also bumped
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)09:11 No.5536526
    You are a terrible person for bumping this thread in which you have the chance to play a super action traitorous game of Paranoia next weekend by signing up at paranoiasignup@gmail.com
    I am, however, not bumping. Not at all.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)09:28 No.5536655
    Will there be any way of observing the game?
    >> Friend Computer !DdWFR52Zgc 08/21/09(Fri)09:36 No.5536740
    You sure can.
    >> Tech Support 08/21/09(Fri)11:14 No.5537427
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)13:48 No.5538673
    Hail Friend Computer

    Mollie-R-TON-1 Here

    My Coworker Steven-R is telling me to "lighten up" after i advised him not to break the "Alpha complex - corrodore security code -42 - Obsturction guideline".
    dont worry frind computer, his trason is already reported and I am very happy right now, but to be safe what amazing product can i purchase to give me that "Lightned Up" feeling?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/09(Fri)13:52 No.5538698
    Dear Posters.

    Do you have Blue level clearance?

    If not please be aware your enjoyment of this worksafe board is treason and a correctional adviser has be dispatched.

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