inb4 shitstorm

DIE AGAIN

this is the weirdest mutation of the "my name is John and i hate all you fags" meme ever

Maximized empowered meteor swarm.

Vecna = God
Strahd = stuck in barovia forever killing women by accident.

>pic related, it's my and my mortal girlfriend.
SHIT WAS SO CASH

So how's that incinerating upon contact with sunlight working for you?

Oh wait...

I actually played a Lich whose best friend was a paladin. Hellbred too, so he had no soul to boot. Started taking levels in psion after learning it could help him feel again, and runs his own construction company that specializes in charity work through undead labor.

Liches are more powerful in the magics.

/thread

> I actually played a Lich whose best friend was a paladin.

heresy!

*BLAM*

>>5510043
Hey, whoa. I know we all hate twilight but step the fuck off Strahd. He is the baddest man in town.

>>5510032

Aaaaw it's a shame without blood pumping you can't fuck her.

>>5510014

No RIPTEAR? You must not be a real vampire.

>>5510014

If DJ Phylactery is to be believed, Liches are mad ballin' yo.

>>5510074


too bad Strahd will never leave town, if you know what I mean...

>>5510168

Fuck yeah, three threads of badass rap and not a single vampire was represented. What does that tell you about the filthy bloodsuckers?

>>5510103


oh yes they did. you didn't read Twilight carefully enough. the only fluid in a vampire's body is their venom, amirite?

COCK FULL OF VAMPIRE VENOM

>>5510046
>SHIT WAS SO BLOOD BOND

Fix'd

>>5510210


They listen to nu-metal and R&B, not this rap shit

>>5510014
>spends eternity alone in his crypt with nothing to keep him company, or to talk to, than his reagents and components. Forever, trying to walk in Vecna's path and forever falling short.

I don't think so. Picture fucking related.

>>5510230

That's because vampires can't rhyme

Vampires make a deal with Orcus to become vampires, but obviously Edward is just a thrall.

You heard it hear first folks, VAMPIRES AIN'T GOT NO RHYTHM!! Bet they can't dance either.

>>5510213

You read Twilight? Dude the fuck get the fuck out

Liches get ghost blowjobs and cum etheral taint on their souls.

Liches don''t have any blood. Vampires don't have shit on them.

dude, hella chicks like twilight. i have learned to cope.

I tried reading the first ten pages. I fucking hate the protagonist, whinly little bitch. BAWWW I had to move to my dad's place! BAWWW the car he bought me as a present wasn't brand new! BAWWW we only have one bathroom! BAWWW I'll never fit in because I'm a super-special unique snowflake that no-one understands!

...and then she cries herself to sleep. Fucking cunt.

Vampires.

Do you know what vampires are?

They're filthy, disease laden creatures with no concept of what living forever really means.

When I decide to move on - and I will decide to move on - I shall abandon my physical form and leave it to wait for my return. I will explore the universe - universes - dimensions....and should those who seek my knowledge or property arrive, I will send a mere fragment of my essence back, and strip them of their souls to fuel new powers in other realms. And I will still exist when the sun grows cold and dark, when the vampires have perished in their madness when no living thing bleeds upon the cold, scorched earth.

Vampires are fools.

>>5510935

Can I go with you? I almost close to becoming a Demilich...

>>5510935


enjoy floating in space, alone, a tiny speck of insignificance in the great infinite. as madness slowly descends, I want you to know that we vampires enjoyed every second of our undeath, and we now rest.

>>5510971

True Undead are internally bond upon a single purpose. That is all we have, and all we think. We need nothing more...

>>5511018

in other words : monomaniacs

>>5510971
....space?

What space? I have all of many existences to explore and contemplate. You will be DEAD.

YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT YOU'RE A FAGGOT

I dunno why people always insist that the inevitable result of eternal immortality is insanity. These are reality-warping entities we're talking about; what's stopping them from putting themselves into a permanent dreamlike state of perfect awesomeness?

Guess what makes the litch way better than a vampire? Polymorph Self. BAM. Flesh and blood and organs and fluids. Go for a meat joy-ride, then back to the comprehending infinity.

>>5511042
Because that would be insanity?

Except that Liches, as awesome spellcasters, can polymorph into a human or whatever and do whatever the fuck they want. Seriously. You can go to the abyss and bang smoking hot succubi, finish on their face, and then not have to worry about level drain because you're a lich.

>>5510971

We think on a different scale. What you --and living-- consider century's; is the same as I think of Billions, upon billions of years...

>>5510014
Yeah, but you sparkle, faggot.

Vampires are fucking weak shit. The fucking sun can take them out. A small stream can stop them in their tracks. The can be destroyed by an angry mob of peasants with a piece of wood in their sleep. Plus, Liches get bitches.

>>5511111 The fucking sun can take them out.

FUCKING TAKE YOU OUT TOO

>>5511028

Why else do you think Undeath is called a curse? Insanity by--mortal terms-- is part of the package. Vampires and undead that retain sufficient remnants of life are the worst case; as they are trapped between both sides...

>>5511133

Except that when you're a lich, your wisdom (and mental well-being) goes up.

>>5511029


oh, your phylactery? gone with the planet. try not to piss off people in sigil when you inevitably get there.

I AM DISGUSTED BY YOU

>>5511160

True...

Though, I would advices staying away from the far realm. I have never felt the same after studying it...

>>5511186

Except as a lich, you're immune to mind-affecting effects, so the things out there can fuck off, they can't drive you nuts.

>>5511179
What makes you think I will need to be regenerated after I'm a spirit cruising the multidimensional existences?

>>5511184

How is the more life like one shitty? That may be true on one of the Hentai boards, but were not one of theme...

>>5511184


left : vampire
right: lich

>>5511235

Oh, I see. Thinks Anon for clarifying that for me...

>>5511212

Hmm...
crap! I messed up the ritual I used to become a lich!

f>>5511202

>Hmm...
>crap! I messed up the ritual I used to become a lich!

Fixed!

>>5511216
The left one is straight up lame. At least the one on the right is arousing.

>>5511285
To each his own. I prefer regular, albeit red, eyes to ones that are bigger than her mouth and nose put together.

Worm that Walks here
vampires are pussies
liches are psycho

Vampires in DnD are nothing but feral creatures, hellbent on feeding. Their facial features harden, and are more akin to a beast than a beauty.

A lich could probably control a vampire through its superior command of magic.

>>5511328
I will use my powers as a Demilich to send each of your worms and other vermin to its own demiplane (one per worm)! All devoid of life, and with no way of escape... [psychotic laugh of a billion year old entity...

>>5511922
Hilarious until the REAL Worm that Walks comes out to say hi.

Kyuss is a real bastard.

Dorsain here, just reminding you that YOU ARE ALL FOOD.

>>5511969
Kyuss is a cool guy, has his own band and doesn't afraid of anything.

>>5512039
win

>>5512039
I lol'd.

>>5512047


>and doesn't afraid of anything

"and doesn't fear anything"

Fixed!

rolled 424 = 424

>>5511978

I hope I give you a heart attack.

>>5512047

Thats fucking nothing. Kyuss goes down like a bitch.

OP, you should have used the "sup faggots" copypasta.

>>5512067
You're new here. Don't question that, it's true.

>>5512088


I was not questioning it. The word order just really, really, really hurt my eyes. XD

Besides: Both mean the same fucking thing. Lulz

>>5512133
You corrected an ages old meme, that's why. No one corrects memes - or says "lulz" outside of /b/.

>>5511047
>Guess what makes the litch way better than a vampire? Polymorph Self. BAM. Flesh and blood and organs and fluids. Go for a meat joy-ride, then back to the comprehending infinity.

My gods, if I become a lich, I can finally be the little girl!

>>5512133

No. No, they do not mean the same thing. From a semantic context they have the same meaning, but the former carries an extra meaning to those who have been here.

You are a failu-

No, wait, I get it.
You're a grammar nazi troll.

Never mind!

>>5512124
Hehehehe.
Oh, liches.

>>5512152

Enjoying your nWoD, OP?

>>5512185

I love you. SO MUCH

>>5510014

>>5512223

Oh god.

>>5512274
I didn't finish the vamp's head

Moar lichy goodiness!

Bitches don't have shit on my ascension to demilichdom.

what the fuck guys

this thread was here when i went to bed

and it's still here

/tg/ takes things too anally
this is why you'll never have girlfriends, and when you die, you turn into liches and worms.

>>5512322
good then i can rape ya mom from the dead

I think somebody's forgotten about a little thing called the dhampir? All the benefits of being a vampire, none of the drawbacks. Eat that, motherfuckers.

>>5512322
I *have* a girlfriend. This is just what I do when she's out of town and I'm bored out of my skull.

>>5512399
Your hand is out of town... WTF?

>>5512368
dhampir? Isn't that a half vampire? Lives for like 20 years or somesuch?

I think I'll just leave this picture of a wraeththu here.

>Blood, riches, women love

Pathetic fleshling, there is only one thing worthy of our attentions, power, absolute, infinite, and unrelenting, it is the only thing that matters and we, shall, have, it. You who are mired in the needs and desires of the flesh will never understand or surpass us, we are as far beyond you as you are beyond the mortals you feed on.

>>5512124
>>5512039

why is the vampire guy fat? :(

>>5512823
Because it's funnier.

>>5512455

What series is this character from?

>>5512905
None, from the Pearl Jam music video for Evolution.

>>5512905


music video. do the evolution , pearl jam.

Liche here. Vampires wish they were as badass.

>>5512781
Actually, vampires aren't all that far past the mortals they feed on. I mean, they're a little faster, a little stronger, and they don't age, but really they're still in the same general realm. It'd be more accurate to say that a litch is as far beyond a vampire as a vampire is beyond a gelatinous cube.

>>5512926
Iron Lich. The best kind of lich.

Type immortality into google images

>>5512934
In Dnd terms yes but most other games with vampires in them the vamps can effortlessly crush a human. The rest of my post is still valid though.

>>5512926
GASPY FUCK YEAH

>>5512185

oh lordy, is that a loli lich? DO WANT

DJ Phylactery doin a drive by on this glitterati fang fag. Word up:

DJ P is sick to death of these buck tooth newbies lookin for respect. I reject your project to become undead elect, and I suspect you'd best reflect on how best to genuflect before my fireballs start to connect. You think you're all hot, paradin' around, sleeping in coffins deep in the ground; your minds unsound, your priorities skewed, but you've messed with the best, friend, and now you bitches be screwed. Nibblin' on necks, seducin' fat chicks, you're real hot to the goths but liches get the REAL fine bitches. Because we got knowledge, books tomes and power, and we don't got no curfew, we're workin' all hours. Don't be lookin so sour, your power's a joke. Mist form, dominate, super strength, and speed, I got those spells and more but I don't even need, them to drop your pasty ass down to powder. I just mess with your alarm clock, and you're up at the wrong hour. So you cower before the light of the sun, burned to dust in the wind while I'm havin my fun. Or maybe you don't burn, maybe you glitter? If that's so then you know I'll be crafting you into a diamond shitter. Cos I'm ballin', while you're just appallin'. Face it home slice, there's no way you can win, DJ Phylactery is gonna make bling out of your sparkly skin.

DJ Phylactery out.

>>5513201
any takers against this most foul utterance, or are we still waiting for the sun to go down?

>>5513201

I don't think it's POSSIBLE to deliver a rebuttal to this hardcore smackdown, man.

>>5513201
Fuck you, man, just... just... Fuck you.

I'm out of here. Like, forever, man.

I believe, sir, that you have just been FUCKING OWNED.

Thank you, and good night.

>>5513201

Mother of God...

>enjoy the delights the world has to offer
HOW ABOUT GARLIC?
I FUCKING LOVE GARLIC YOU HAVNT LIVED TILL YOUVE TASTED IT
MAN I SURE DO LOVE SORTING MY SELF OUT USING MY REFLECTION, TKING PICTURES AND THE LIKE
OH SHIT MAN WHAT A LOVELY SUNNY DAY!
ALL THIS VITAMIN D IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY!

>>5513201

God, I love DJ P.

>>5513201
God damn. Saving screen capping like the motherfucking fist of a shocked god. That was fucking hard core.

Another victory for DJ Phylactery.

>>5513201
And so it came to pass that the purpose of all of human civilization was reached, and it was good.

>>5513201
Oh wut

>>5513201

Oh god, if I still had bodily fluids, I'd be so wet right now.

>>5513201

Y'know, I can't remember the last time a skeleton that wasn't white or yellow.

Fuckin racist liches, where are the black magicians?

>>5514627
Black mages don't need skeletons.

>>5514703

But if that's true, how could they do this?

>>5513201
+333 iternetssieit ou yuu uu ser

>>5514720
[Not a bone]

>>5514720
>Implying there is a bone in a boner.

>>5514627
Shadow liches, Tome of Magic, Shadowcaster section. Black liches, done and done.

>>5513201
it is te awesome!

Vampire? yer not a vampire. yer an elf. a pedophile elf

this thread is being bumped in a way most righteous.

A vampire can be struck in it's weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

A lich can seal it's weak point away in a private demi-plane.

Well, you've got a point. You guys sure do have an advantage over liches in every potential way. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck. Hey, why don't you two go out to the beach this weeken- OH WAIT! YOU CAN'T!

Vamps seduce, but liches bone the bitches.

Fuck it all, troll thread is a DAY OLD!

>>5510014
I have a lot of experience in that, OP, but I've never seen anything like this before.
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>>5517813


the OP must be proud.