Why do you always start at this hour, just when I'm about to head to bed?

So, how are we on the WMD/Doomsday device front?

Turn him into a dog that shoots bees when he barks.

I'd still like to stomp on his corpse after extracting all the data we need.

But then again, we can use him in my experiments to create a new vehicle, with proper psycho conditioning naturally.

>>5435720
I start this late because when I tried earlier, we ended up with a much more random than normal thread. I honestly would like to start earlier though.

As for our WMD's, I mean shit. You have an orbital laser, a fucking pyramid that spews enough lava to cover the Earth's surface, and if you ever die, the canister of nano-bots near your heart will go off, causing a gray goo dooms day scenario.

I'll go for a puppygirl with a collar, for thematic reasons and because being a dog is more humiliating.

Turn #6 into a puppy-loli. First thing that comes to mind is Horo, but she should be relativly harmless right now. Make her Ewok sized and earn her keep by working with #8. Later we can put her to work doing something like being on TV and indocterating children into loving us. (I love you, you love my master!)
Oh, time to celebrate. Book the London Philharmonic Orchastra for a private show. Program a nice evening dress for #3 and take her out on the town.

Make sure the lasers in your monocle are facing the right way.

Also, I'd like to test a scaled down Cobalt Bomb somewhere to see the effects.

>>5435740

Ah right. Makes sense.

Okay, so, this wont do. We need a salted nuke launcher that can get strangehouse to leap out of his chair!

>>5435742
>>5435765
So something along these lines?

I'm starting to notice there is some heavy "whoo"ing happening with Number 3.

>>5435789
You want to cause massive nuclear fallout? That'll raise a few eyebrows.

>>5435786

Agreed, Scientist Lord, would you prefer yourself to adjust the focusing lenses or should I do it? I've been meaning to make it more like a Hellpistol blast anyway.

Not quite, something more on the scale of five square, or cubic miles if you would, taking into factor the fallout and prevalent winds of the areas at hand.

>>5435799

Its one of those just in case things.

Looking good.

If we're going to take time off, let's ask 3 what she'd like to do.

>>5435794
Don't we already have a dog? That also happens to be a world class detective. I think cat thing would work out much better also spite them since they would probably like being a dog.

>>5435799
I think we should consider creating a cult and charging people to get in sure we don't believe in god or any variation, but suckers do. It worked for that sci-fi writer and he managed to create his own navy imagine what someone with your influence could do.

>>5435834
Horo is a wolf and a detective. #6 is a pet. She probably hates being a pet, too.

>>5435834

We already have sherloli-holmes, make her a bunny.

what the fuck is this thread

>>5435794
How about just a dog this time?

>>5435794
Cute as all get out. Perfect replacement for Barney.

The whole dynamics of having an evil wife will keep your mind sharp. Molls grow tiresome, a smart wife will be there to give moral support and advice you can count on.
Or at least all of the plotting between missions will keep you entertained.

>>5435863
heresy

SAGE FOR HERESSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

>>5435816
I suggest using the North Sengelese island as a testing ground. Nothing there except for some xenophobic tribals.

I am going to 2nd the bunny plan.

>>5435805
Yeah, fine alright. It's not like I'm busy plotting to take over the world. Go fix it in some corner and pray to it or whatever you do.

>>5435895
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

THE GOD-EMPEROR WILLS THAT THIS THREAD DIE

You're wasting you time, scientist.

There is a girl in dire need of some awesome CYBERNETICS.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHh- wait, what's going on? Why are people saging all of a sudden?

>>5435931
Saging is the new and revolutionary way to compare epeen sizes. The harder you sage the more the Emprah loves you.

>>5435907

Consult 6 on what he knows about the rest of 9, then play fetch with him.

Fuck, if I can build a Warhound Titan I can do a lot of shit.

Wait, What if we introduce Promethium to the market?

And here's your monocle back.

>>5435931
Dunno, beats me.

>>5435907
So we just took down number 6...
Buy up as much media as we can, all over the world. Our takeovers of Russia and South America were both heavilly reliant on our media ownership. Do it in a non-suspicious way though. Then we'll make one final push to get total global saturation for our candy before enacting the climax of Operation: Candy.
also, status of Operation: Loli-Anime?

>>5435834
Puppies are cuter, IMO. Do we have any specific programs set up for manipulation of the masses? Going the Children's show with Patty, the Puppy-loli route would be an excllent long-term plan for future minion recruitment.

>>5435941
I'll sage because we never got those tentacle monsters to sell hotdogs :<
I am disappoint scientist

Interrogate 6.
So far we followed 3 to find 8 and 8 to find 6. Hopefully 6 has a clue for us on our next target.
Contact Sherloli Horomes as well. Tell her we have a new plaything for her, and then ask her how the hunt goes.

>>5435958
We've already got an anime based on the original 5 lolibots. At least, I think we do. Maybe they're just a heavy metal band.

By the way, scientist, do you know what happened to that thread where you and this elf chick were being chased by dragons in a jungle? And I volunteered to be heal bitch but it was too late?

>>5435977
We bought up all the animation studios in japan. The show is in production as we speak, I believe, and we're using our media ties to heavilly pre-promote it.

>>5435941
IS THIS TRUE?
>>5435968
It was retcon'd.

>>5435993
GENIUS

Dont listen to them scientist! Come! Let us build WMDs and silly doomsday devices!

>>5435993
YOU CAN'T HAVE THE EMPRAHS LOVE ITS MINE

>>5435983
Not sure, but damn if I wouldn't do that shit again in a heart beat.

>>5435993
So #6 obeys all our commands and stuff now right? Like... sit, stay, roll over...?

How are the girls reacting to the new family pet?

With our stranglehold on the world's energy market, begin selling to countries while subtly making sure that they know you could cut them off at any time. While doing this, begin construction of a Space Station base and Space Elevator, from which we will colonize the stars under our rule.

I liked the Chen, two tailed idea. That way, we can fuck the guy up with catnip. Crack for cats.

>>5436044
Using the money spent on oil to fund a new energy source?!?!?!

>>5436008
Alright, I guess. Geez, let's see. What kind should we make?

Oh, and someone wants me to interrogate number 6 right?

>>5436044

Meteor fortress! Big enough to wipe out the world dinosaur style if it crashes!

>>5436056
Rapping tentacle monster hot dog seller plox.

>>5436053

We already did. We've developed fuel cells based on methane crystals harvested underwater.

>>5436056
Moon magnet? Something to crash the moon into the earth? We'll rig it up to the Fuck The World button.
And yes, Interrogate 6. Tell her to Speak. then give her a biscut and call her a good dog when she obeys.

>>5436029
Pretty much.

Soooo ...

What's Quasi Baroness up to?

>>5436056

Massive gravity gun that could send the earth flying into the sun.

I'm ashamed to say it but... Could we make a lolification virus? Using 6's science, wouldnt it be possible to invent a bacterial strain or virus that we could use to turn everyone in the world into a loli?
Can we rig it up with some kind of activator so it can spread undetected, then be activated all at once whenever we so desire?

>>5436056

The Scientist, despite your brilliance in most respects, you cannot seem to grasp the fundamental core of Evil Science. Your Evil Science e-peen is directly correlated to the number of doomsday devices you've built. The more doomsday devices you have, the more the Evil Scientist ladies want to fuck you and the more the Evil Scientists respect and fear you. It doesn't matter how impractical having multiple doomsday devices is. It's a status thing.

No! We want to rule the planet, not blow it up! What are we, a MAD scientist!?

>>5436124

Never said we would use any of them. Just having them is what matters.

>>5436124
This Anon knows too much.

>>5436124

If I'm correct, we already have a orbiting laser, a bizzare ass pyramid, a canister that enacts some sort of Doomsday if he dies, and I'm setting up a Cobalt bomb network all over for the "Fuck the World" situation.

>>5436144
Wait... who are you again? And what are you doing in our fortress?

Well, the orbiting laser is a strategic weapon. It's not going to blow up everything, just a city or two. Maybe.

>>5436116

Kind of like skinny fashion really, everyone does it, skinny is best even if it kills you.

Only this is cool.

>>5436056
Personally I wanted you to rip all his scientific knowledge of genetics off of him and degrade his intelligence into something only just above a beast.


But whatever.

By the why my lord did Determined minion ever get that promotion?

>>5436074
We'll think on that moon magnet idea, I mean a few quests back, we were dead set on a moon base.

You go ahead and play your demented part, telling 6 to "speak" you go about asking what she knows on the whereabouts of number 8.

She looks off to the side, crossing her arms, ears drooping. "I don't really know. Elizabeth called us up the night before to get a few experiments ready for some sort of rock off. Wolves don't rock out with instruments though."

Handing 6 the dog treat after asking for information, you inwardly pat yourself on the back for making fun of a certain scientist's predicament.

>>5436144

Don't go knocking the pyramid. Do you know how much money and effort we've sunk into it? It hover and move, it's bristling with laser weapons, is heavily armored, has a deflector shield capable of withstanding nuclear blasts, houses the most powerful AI known to man, can fuck the world with lava, and houses a factory for mass-producing war drones. We're almost invulnerable when within it.

What happened to the PROMOTIONS minion from last time? We should give him cool stuff to do since he was so awesome- and his new name should be Hunk.

>>5436112
This idea is horrifying. My god. Why would you give everyone such an easy idea on turning EVERYONE into a Loli?

>>5436174

Also, we have a space-base that need building. The number of bases is a contributing factor to Evil Science e-peen. Not as crucial as doomsday devices, but still important and much more practical.

>>5436174
Damnit! Ok. Contact Sherloli Horomes. Lets see if she's on the case.
Hey, are our candy sales reaching 100% of the industrialized world yet?

Enough doomsday talk. We need to find a few leads on our next targets. Also I suggest using #6's bio-engineering to enhance a number of our minions. After all what kind of scientist would we be if we didn't have our own super-solider program. Later rent out super soldiers to high paying customers on the black market.

>>5436174

Right so no information then? Contact Loli-Bond and Sherloli-Holmes to see if we can find another of our enemies.

>>5436192
FUCK YES HUNK!

>>5436175

Hmm...does it happen to draw material from the lava for the warfactory? If so, I'm informally dubbing it the Star Forge.

>>5436196

Remember how that first poster suggested the original loli? Every day I exult in his misery and overwhelming guilt.

We never had a proper celebration for our recent victories. Call in the loli-bots three and the baroness and throw a party. Get the lolis nice gifts the Baroness some vacation time and perhaps some nice virtual jewelry for three. And hell why not invite that one minion and give him some cool shit for being so damn awesome.

>>5436258
Give the Lolis LASER DEATH PONIES!

>>5436271
No not something deadly. They deserve some nice toys or video fames. Something they cane enjoy in their down time for being the best things that ever could have happened to us.(remember family man back story.)

>>5436302
Well, the LASER DEATH would be activatable only by us of course.

>>5436112
>>5436196

Oh my god... It's... It's beautiful...

Have we considered growing a goatee yet?

Also wear a nice suit under that lab coat remember Scientist your a gentleman as well as a scientist.

>>5436112
Gentlemen, you know now what we must do.

>>5436198
>>5436211

You dial up the two in one go. Loli-Bond looks slightly distracted, Sherloli-Holmes looks contemplative.

Ask away on to the location of your next foe!

>>5436357
Girls, Good news! We have a new puppy. She is adorable, even if she does pee on the carpet. Now. Status report. Any leads on the remaining members of the 9? Sherloli, why are you so distraccted?

>>5436357

First, ask why Loli-Bond is distracted, and then tell her to run a search. Ask Sherloli if she has singled out any areas where we are likely to find one of our enemies.

>>5436382
Sorry, meant to direct the "why so distracted" at bond

>>5436357
Why does loli-bond always look so distracted? Every time we contact her she seems to be distracted. Ask her to point her wrist communicator off to the side she keeps looking. She must obey us if not there may be something up here.

>>5436357

They're plotting something.

>:-(

I also request to know if there is any sign of Imperium activity, or if there is any psychic disturbances on the globe.

>>5436417
Hey.
You.
Shut the fuck up

>>5436412
She's deep undercover, remember? We always end up calling her at the worst possible times and if anyone ever found out it would be bad news all around. Plus she's probably got a boy there. I'll bet they were totally holding hands and making out.

>>5436417

Please stop trying to turn this into a WH40K quest thread. You're 38,000 years too early.

( To Loli-Bond ) - "Sherloli-Holmes is acting contemplative lately. Too much so. Something's up. I need you to track & observer her."

( To Sherloli-Holmes ) - "Loli-Bond has been very distracted lately. I need you to find out what she is up to."

Allow us to assuage our suspicion. Find out why loli-bond is distracted.

>>5436449

Fuck man, if I'm here so could they.

Remember, our robots cant directly disobey us. Lets just ask whats up.

>>5436382
Loli-Bond takes a second to look at the screen of her watch communicator.

"Um... Alright."

Sherloli-Holmes goes about the normal jubilations most young girls are known for.
>>5436394
Once again, Loli-Bond's eyes shift from side to side.
"You're sending me encrypted messages wirelessly into a high security spy organization. It's kinda risky you know?

Don't worry though, I'll take a look into the MI6 database after this and call back. What am I looking for?"

Sherloli-Holmes, smiles slightly.

"The biomechanic engineer right? Have you tried any countries with an exceptional level of MANLINESS?"

Bond blinks at the statement and stares through her spy watch into Sherloli-Holmes monitor.

"That's... You can't be serious."

>>5436498
Sorry. I only drew that for a gag. Let it slide alright? You're the Schrodinger's cat of Bad Guy Quest universe as far as I'm concerned.

>>5436522
We've already been to Russia though.

>>5436522
I say Sherloli, I do believe you're on to something. Better explain to Watson what you've discovered though, you know how she is.

Give lolibond ongoing orders to keep track of any activity that could be the work of the 9. This is an ongoing thing, and she should know it. we'll need her ready when we call next time. As punishment... she has to go hold hands with a boy. Thats an order! Now get to work on tracking down those scientists. We'll see what we can do from our end to make these transmissions safer in the future.

>>5436564
"Hmm... Are there any other countries with a high MANLINESS ratio?"

What are the specialties of the remaining 9? I forgot.

Have lolibond look for activity that fits any of their modus operandi, including the ones we've already dealt with. Anything that leads to one might lead to the others.

>>5436613

Germany?

>>5436613
Whoops, forgot the picture.

>>5436574
Sherloli will most definitely explain her deductions to Watson after this call.

...Really?

>>5436613

Canada, Great Britain, and Australia in WW2 era.

France for plenty of points in history, too.

As for current day, not quite sure...

>>5436636
For a whole 20 seconds. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>5436636

Disregard him. No punishment yet. Loli-Bond is the least loyal robot, and while she cannot lie to us nor disobey a direct command, she is capable of lying by omission. After she's hung up, give Sherloli secret orders to investigate loli-Bond.

We should bio enhance our minions. Just for the lulz really. Also to kick god in the balls some more.

>>5436636
Do we look like we're kidding? Just make it look natural.
Hmm... perhaps we are being too harsh though... Find us some data on this biomechanic member of the nine post haste, or else you shall see just how serious I am.

>>5436685

If they don't comply put on our red eyed RAGE face.

Its got to be Canada. Lumberjacks and Curlers.

>>5436651
"We obviously have a mystery in need of solving. Which country would have the most OUTRAGEOUS beards and men who can drink almost twice their weight in alcoholic beverages...?"

>>5436656
>>5436685
"What?! That's stupid! You're stupid!"

>>5436667
We need to ensure loli-bonds loyalty have 3 hack Security footage of MI6 and what exactly loli-bond is up to. She's surrounded by some of the best information gathering equipment in the world but she has not even once given us a lead on our targets. Sherloli has done more with a magnifying glass and a sidekick than she has. If she is being loyal give her a little gift for doing such risky work but don't apologize she must not grow suspicious of our suspicion.

>>5436726
Aww tsundere-bond is tsundere. We know there's some boy she likes. Note to self practice speech for when she brings a boy home.

For the record...

#? - Elizabeth - Robotics. Head of the 10.
#? - Biomechanic design.
#3 - Human to computer A.I. Interface technology.
#? - Advanced psychotherapies still in testing.
#? - Rptiles and ways in which we could apply their adaptations to modern uses.
#6 - Gene splicing.
#? - New surgical techniques not even dreamed of.
#8 - Applied Laser technologies
#? - Poisons, his latest study involving spiders and other such insects."

>>5436726

Scotland?

>>5436726
We're looking for dwarves?

Other than that, sounds like Germany to me.

IRELAND!
OR CANADA!

>>5436752
You guys are changing a 40-something year old secret agent man into a girl. This is horrifying once again.

>>5436726
Is Boatmurdered a country?

>>5436774
And your talking to the voices in your head which is worse?

>>5436781
Good point.

>>5436726
DON'T TALK BACK TO ME YOUNG LADY! DO YOU WANT IT TO GO FOR 30 SECONDS?

>>5436774
Look. He stood against us. This is what he gets. Now he's behaving suspiciously, which is worse.

Lets have #3 work a security hole into MI6's communications networks so that we can inoculusly contact our little girl anytime we need to.

>>5436774
Which is why it is glorious.

Also, what's the status on our PR? We still heroes?

>>5436774

What do you expect? You're giving 4chan, a decrepit hive of scum and villainy, a chance to be genuinely villainous. Of course we're going to be villainous! We're just going to dick around with people in horrific but non-fatal ways for a sort of personal touch you wouldn't get anywhere else.

>>5436818
Whatever our status is, buy more media holdings.
And give us a report on total world candy saturation. We need this at 100%!

>>5436774

:D

It's in the music, broseph.

The music of LIFE.

>>5436781
Side-Story where you battle it out with the voices in your head for supremecy?

>>5436845
Dude, we're the voices

>>5436861
All the better. Whoever he triumphs over gets banned for a week or something.

>>5436881
>>5436861
>>5436845
SILENCE! THE LONGER YOU BICKER THE LESS SUFFERING AND PAIN WE BRING! NOW FIND OUR FOES AND CRUSH THEM UNDER THE HEELS OF OUR BOOTS!

>>5436778
Sherloli Furrows her brows more, bubbles erupting from her pipe. "I think it is not... I myself and finding this to be a fairly complicated puzzle to solve.
>>5436806
"Whoa! I'm sorry ok? Look, can I go already?"
>>5436811
Asking the COMPUTER EXPERT to HACK? WOW. Oh, and yeah. She did it.
>>5436818
Yep and Brazil loves you too. Add that to your ever growing list.
>>5436840
At random? if I had to guess on candy saturation, probably a good 30% give or take.
>>5436845
>>5436861
This is a mind bending conundrum I'd rather leave be at present.

>>5436926
*Sigh oh all right* While Lolo-holmes and Bond-Holmes are searching, lets go out on the town to celebrate our triumph over #6

>>5436937
"I think it is not... I, myself am finding this to be a fairly complicated puzzle to solve."

Quick edit for my shit illiteracy.

>>5436937
Let lolibond go. But warn her that we expect results.
Make following suggestions to Sherloli: Canada, Scotland, Australlia.
Tap into mi6 security feed to find out what Bond wanted to get back to so badly.

We should continue our search............IN AMERICA!

Lets build some robotic ponies for the lolis.
And buy up big, influential media holdings. They have proven invaluable in the past.
Also, buy more candy companies. We need a candy bar in every childs hand when we make the recall.

Why are we even bothering with revenge anymore? I mean, we already covertly rule the world.

>>5436997
BECAUSE REVENGE EQUALS PAIN THAT'S WHY! NOW GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE TRAIL DAMMIT! I DEMAND SUFFERING!

>>5436997
Priorities!

>>5436969
Loli-Bond leaves the conversation quickly and rather flustered.

Sherloli-Holmes offers a quick salute.

"I'll do my best!"

Excellent...
now this! >>5436996

>>5437028
Now tap into the security feed so we can see what was keeping bond so distracted. If its something insignificant than we'll know to punish her next time.

>>5436997
Because we're mad. Maladjusted, insane, vengence-craving. What means the world, if we cannot have revenge?

Actually did the other scientist's have any staff working for them? Researchers, minions, janitors anything like that? If so we could let some of our more "persuasive" minions see if they can pry any information from them. If not try looking into black market purchases. Any high end technological equipment being sold? If we can't find any we should have some minions steal something than offer it for sale chances are some of our rivals may be interested. If not whoever does buy it may have some information we can use to narrow down our searches.

Buy up the media in Ausieland, Scottland and Canada. We'll be heading there eventually, so might as well do it now...

wait... Canadian media. Lol. Buy up the American Media.

*sidelong glance to three*

"Ok? What are the gals up to?"

>>5437037
Fine. Alright. We build the freaking ponies and I guess we'll give them as a gift.

You've been doing the other two almost aggressively. Some just won't sell especially in America.

>>5437090
Get an angry Russian minion to start torturing people reservoir dogs style. Why Russian? Because they always sound threatening.

Hm. The beards bit really makes me think Germany. Perhaps we should move in there?

>>5437090
They pretty much worked by themselves didn't they? 3 for sure but maybe 8 had a few lackeys.

Beards & beer? .. Ok, it's not one of the Islamic countries ..

Lets take that "fake movie" footage from the attack on 6 and turn that into an oscar-winning smash hit.
Promotional tie-ins are a must.
We also need a loli-video game series to go with the anime/music/candy.

>>5437151
She shall be called Moonshadow, and Raven will love her very much.

I gotta wonder, in this world of mad science, are their super heroes to rival those such as we?

>>5437090
>>5437164
>>5437181
Lackeys? Shit. They're secret scientists. They do secret shit. I don't even want to begin complicating this any further by having secret lackeys. You know what? I'll tell you if they have lackeys.

>>5437208
I am never Loli-fying Batman.

Scan the media we control. See if we can find any reports of biomechanical tomfoolery about. What countries currently have the best bio-mech technology? Have baroness start scanning shit and crunching numbers ASAP. And lets get her to find out the most beer-drinking, beard-growing country around too.

>>5437164
What people? Or which people?

>>5437225
I'm not saying you should. I'm saying you should make sure neither he nor any of his costumed chums bust into your lair and ruin your day.

>>5437242
I... I think he means random people...
But that seems counter productive...

>>5437242

Doesn't matter. They need the practice & we'll need the capability eventually.

>>5437242
Just make sure he's not wearing the minion suit when he does this. We have a reputation to uphold.

>>5437236

>most beer-drinking
>beard-growing

...Why do I feel like there are going to be dwarves involved?

>>5437236
I know just the place!

Actually I was agreeing with the lackey comment but interrogation is always worth the time. Also put him in a nice suit just because.

Scandinavia.

Beard and beer thing narrows it down to at least that much. And Sweden hasn't really done the whole 'Major rape-fest European power' thing for a good 200, 300 years, so...

Norway or Denmark?

...Maybe Finland?

>>5437266
That does beg the question: What are the other numbers doing while we whittle down their numbers? I think we are over due for a base invasion.

>>5437315
FIND THE VIKINGS FIND OUR RIVAL

>>5437323
No one wants to attack a floating pyramid that shoots lava. Also there's the fact that our base is so secret that even we don't know where we are.

>>5437315
Vikings! Russia perhaps. Send out some spy sattelites asap.

Vatican city.

Gotta be.

>>5437369

Oh, God... it's the pope...

>>5437345
Unless they have a ANTI-LAVA BEAM! They'd just drill up from the bottom anyway, eveything is better with drills.

>>5437236
Sounds like a plan. You get Baroness on the job.

>>5437297
Beer drinking, beard growing AND the use of duct tape? Hmm... Maybe.

>>5437401
Rivalry? 3 is the only one for us. Treat her right show her she has nothing to fear.

>>5437401
Why does #3 seem so jealous of Baroness. We use #3 when we want shit done. We use Baroness when want large amounts of data sorted through. She's a robot, she's designed for menial tasks like that.

While that is in progress, check on the status of Operation: Anime. They should have a pilot or something done by now, right?

We currently have Lolibond, Baroness, and Sherloli all doing seperate searches for signs of this guy.
Watch as they all turn up contradictory results.

>>5436937
Idea for the 'fighting the voices' subplot idea:
Just run a more traditional story, going against what we say. This causes all sorts of shit to go down, providing us with entertainment when we get the reins back.

C'mon, we're scientists people. Let's just build us a MANLYdar and be done with it.

Seriously, what the hell?

>>5437401
>>5437424
>>5437440
THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER FOR A RIVALRY! A FIGHT TO THE DEATH! ALAS 3 HAS A VIRTUAL BODY SO THIS WON'T WORK GET SOME MINIONS TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH IN THEIR STEAD. AS LONG AS SOMEONE DIES I DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK.

>>5437494
BRILLIANT!!!!

>>5437494
A device that detects concentrations of beer and beards? I like it!

>>5437494
Good god. Of course! The answer was right infront of us all along!
Build a device to detect Beards, Beers and Bees on a global scale!

3 jealous? Let's go to the cyber-world again and show her that we care. We just use the Baroness for trivial tasks. 3, on the other hand, is our main go-getter around here.

>>5437549
Right. #3 will rule the world at our right hand, we'll punch the big red button together to drop our enemies into the shark tank.(With freaken laser beams on their heads.)

>>5437494
Highly impractical inventions? Like the one in Something Positive that would hold the world hostage until it cured Terry Pratchett's alzheimer's? FUND IT!

>>5437494
>>5437522
>>5437526
This is doable and easily put together. The only problem is making sure your own SHEER MANLINESS doesn't interfere.

Bust out the old guitar, riff around a bit.

Stare at three. Smile a rakish smile.

"What's goin' on?"

>>5437610
Hmm... good point. Better put on a dress.

>>5437610
Put on a dress.

>>5437622
>>5437630
DO IT

>>5437610
Ummm. Watch a chick-flick like Steel Magnolias and/or What Women Want while this thing scans. We'll be so deballed that we won't ever register.

>>5437622
"Oh, n-not too... I mean."

3 looks off to the side.

"I meant to say not too much. Just... floating around a bit. Thinking a little too."

It won't be able to detect us in cyber-space. Best that we go in there and make 3 feel like a digital woman again. We DO care, for being a heartless scientist.

>>5437685

*smile again* "Uh huh."

>>5437686

Off we go.

>>5437686
True.
Best put a dress on while we do it though. Just in case.
Ask her what she's thinking about. Girls love that.

>>5437686
>>5437686
>>5437686
>>5437686
>>5437686
>>5437686
>>5437686
THIS. Accomplish two goals in one fell swoop.

I think I have the solution...

We're men of SCIENCE and as such.... we were the kids who got their asses kicked all the way through school and were virtually invisible to the opposite sex.

Remembering that bitter fact oughtta cut out any interference with the device... and make us want to bomb every fraternity between here and hell into a fine glass crater...

>>5437710
I believe you mean "lolify every fraternity" so we can go up to them and say "Who's the big man now, huh?"

>>5437734
No cause then we couldn't kidney punch them afterwards. We may be evil but we're not a bastard.

>>5437710
I doubt we were picked on much.

"Wha- what's going on? <Insert Name Here>? What are you doing in my room?"

"You made fun of me, Micheal. You called me Dork Brain, put me in the trashcan, locked me in the locker, pulled down my pants."

"Look man, I was kid-"

"And now I have here a range of surgical equipment and other miscellaneous object. Let's see what you look like as a little girl, eh?"

"No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Proto-loli

>>5437734

AFTER we bomb their houses to the ground.

...And pay the New Zealand rugby team to ground them into a fine paste.

Give the device to Sher-loli. She's already in the field anyway and she won't interfere with it's readings. Also since she is going to a really MANLY country get some minions to escort her there. Just make sure it's not determined minion. maybe a few of our more "fanciful" guys. Or maybe some other women we are equal opportunity employers after all.

>>5437401

Wait, does the B even have a proper AI, or, is she just a 'bot?

>>5437779
This works

>>5437779
>we are evil opportunity employers after all.
fix'd

>>5437790
She's a bot. No personality at all.

>>5437779
Also do this. It will be quicker and this being /tg/ a minion with tits will have shown up sooner or later might as well do it yourself.

>>5437779
Hot chicks in gas masks FUCK YEAH!

>>5437686
>>5437704
>>5437705
This happens, except for that dress part.

Seeing as this is going to maintain a certain classiness, we'll skip forward a little.

>>5437790
She has similar AI to the lolis. Which is to say that yes, she has AI. My understanding of it at least. A personality too. She's our babysitter, after all. We just don't see enough of her for it to really shine through.

>>5437866
Perfect. Now, what do the readings indicate? Where is this bearded son of a bitch.

>>5437866

Time well spent.

>>5437866

Huzzah! Hopefully #3 knows that we care. Just to be on the safe side, lets spend an hour or so in there afterwards, talking with her/making her feel special/ etc etc etc while the MANLINESS DETECTOR does its work. We need to find the greatest MANLINESS/BEARD/BEER ratio, and that could take some time. Best not mess up the delicate machinery with our badassery, after all.

>>5437913
>>5437779
Seconding Giving Sher-loli the device. She's done this much with just a magnifying glass so she deserves being able to use some kickass equipment from time to time.

>>5437866
When we next see you, you will be in a robe and smoking a cigar and have a glass of whiskey in your hand.
Wait..that would make the manliness detector explode..

1) Our main driving force is our hate of Elizabeth.

2) Which is at odds of our other main driving force, which is everything else we have going for us now.

Proposition:

Contact our other rivals. Level with them.

"Enough of this. Eliminate Elizabeth for us. Save for this we have everything we want & now have better things to do with our time. Do this for us & our rampage ends. Let there be peace between us."

>>5437943
We want revenge against Elizabeth AND the 9. They laughed at us you know. They called us mad.

( At the very least it's gonna really throw them for a loop. And impress three. Damn we're a smooth bastard. )

We have to find them before we can contact them. If we had everyones email adress we'd have tracked the fuckers down already.

>>5437779
>>5437863
Only because I think they need some form of supervision.

I really just want to see female minions. So I don't really care what you do as long as they show up in it.

>>5437952

A partial sacrifice OF our original goals to three.

>>5437996
why do Sherloli and Watson look like they want sex up the minion?

>>5437996
I'VE SAID IT BEFORE BUT FUCK YES! YOU ARE THE BEST SCIENTIST EVER!

>>5438019
Because you've been on 4chan too long.

>>5438019
Do I smell future drawfag thread material?

While they're out doing that, lets check in on lolibond. See if she has anything for us. If not... well... hope she's on good terms with the local lads...

>>5437996
Nanny Minion or N.M. for short is now born. She should make sure Sherloli and Loli Watson eat right (since it is hard to always eat right when you travel as much as they do) and have a designated bed time. Bed time story included. They can only stay out late if they have a hot lead they MUST ABSOLUTLY follow or it's off to bed for them.

>>5438092
If this doesnt devolve into sexings, nothing will.

>>5438043
You ring her up with no trouble, even if she does seem to be answering you while hiding inside of a cabinet.

"...Hello, um. Need something?"

>>5438092
This is adorable. From now on this is canon.

>>5438114
You're bad people.

Alright so #3 knows she's our #1 loli-bond is hopefully searching for leads. Sherloli has the manliness detector and a nanny now. And the Baroness is crunching all the intel she can sort through. I'd say we just have to bide our time now. Relax a bit or create some side project for the lulz if we're one of those busy body types.

>>5438198
Times up. What do you have for us bond?

>>5438198
"I just want to see if your doing alright dear. I wanted to let you know that your doing a wonderful job there and to let you know that you need to come visit some time. I have some new technology that your just sure to love. And maybe just a little present for you. Also hows that intel coming along? No rush now. After all it's better to have a sure thing rather than a wild guess."

>>5438259
Say this with a bright smile and a mildly threatening tone.

I love how bond is trained against every type of torture imaginable... except the kind we are capable of inflicting.

>>5438259
>>5438274
"Oh, thanks... I think."

Bond seems slightly nervous.

"I've been trying."

Opening her mouth again hesitantly, she forces herself to speak. "...I think it's Scotland. I mean, the Highland Games are coming up so... Y'know."

Almost as a second thought, she adds:

"I'm not completely certain though."

>>5438349
"Very well my dear. We shall investigate Scottland.

But if you turn out to be wrong..."

Then laugh diabolically.

>>5438349
"That sounds quite good actually, I'll look into that."

>>5438349

"What's wrong? You seem excedingly nervous lately. Have I been doing something to put you off? I don't mean this in a threatening way, I genuinely want to know."

Gentlemen, we don't want our minions become hostile towards us. This is moving in a bad direction. Let's try to rectify this immediately.

>>5438384
This

>>5438362
>But if you turn out to be wrong..."

>Then laugh diabolically.
We don't want her getting too nervous, might effect performance. Still do this and end it with something like "...Actually it wouldn't be a problem. We'll just try to confirm on our end. Keep up the good work."

>>5438349
"That's alright dear you've done a grand job so far. I'll have Sher-loli check out your findings. See if you can't find out a little me for me please? Tell you what afterwards why don't you take a little vacation time for yourself? Come visit me and the others a have a little break dear. So long for now."

I hope that our minions aren't becoming intimidated by ourt increasing lack of scruples related to getting our revenge. They need to know that, no matter what, we CARE about them, and that they are integral to our success.

>>5438384
Imagine if James bond was caught in a closet talking to one of his arch-villains.
THAT IS WHY SHE IS NERVOUS.

Damn bump limit is kicking in.

Someone archive this. We dont want what happened last time happening again.

It's okay, the archives are working this time.

Assuming someone remembers to put this there, that is.

>>5438362
>>5438402
>>5438425
Animooted Scientist.

>>5438472
Hey Scientist before you knock off for the night would it be too much to ask for a picture of Nanny Minion reading A bedtime story to Sherloli and Loli Watson?

>>5438472
Oh man. Messing with bond is too much fun.
Lets see how sherloli and baroness are doing in their investigation. We'll see if they can colaberate bonds story.

>>5438472
Good work there.

>>5438499
Add in.. "Oh, if you have any little friends that you'd like to invite, feel free to bring them along. I can't wait to meet him..err. I mean them."

I can see the boy hanging out with loli bond wondering why she keeps jumping into closets and things in the middle of their dates.

>>5438488
Second.

Inviting her over might be a bad idea. It wouldn't look good for her to be hanging out at an evil scientist's base.

>>5438566
We can claim she's on assignment.

>>5438582
>>5438566
Weapons investigation committee

>>5438582
But then they'll probably expect her to do something about us. If she doesn't come back with some sort of results, she'll just end up looking suspicious anyway.

>>5438593
She works for MI6, not the UN.

>>5438601
>>5438600
Mary-Sue can cover for her.

Theory: Loli-bond is similar to her male counterpart in more ways than we thought.
Who said it had to be a boy she's got her eye on? It would explain why our insistence of such flusters her so.

Archived.

>>5438640
Loli-lesbian bond eh? I for one sir find this line of thought to be a most agreeable one. (Note to self modify speech in case she brings home a girl)

If we can't call her over, let's send her a gift instead.

No, wait, that could be traced back to us, and then she's attract suspicion anyway.

>>5438752
Booby-trap it or something, let her know beforehand so she can keep appearances up.

Is our Scientific lord still even here or are we going to wait until Quest 11 to go farther?

>>5438488
Hey scientist, if your still with us, this would be really awesome.

>>5438800
He normally stops after we start autosaging. We'll pick up with number 11 and track down this manly motherfucker then.