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  • File : 1249786041.jpg-(135 KB, 850x1169, temporary.jpg)
    135 KB Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:47 No.5386461  
    ITT: pic/stories of damsels in distress so I can come up with a campaign idea that does not have the ONLY reward be CASH, XP, ALE, and WHORES

    pic semi related
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:48 No.5386476
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    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:49 No.5386483
    Are you a bad enough dude to save your evil arch rival's daughter from being sacrificed to a dark god for power?
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:49 No.5386485
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    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/08/09(Sat)22:49 No.5386486
    Give them a unique item that does something hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:50 No.5386492
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    This is the king's daughter. Discuss.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:51 No.5386506
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    there are only so many of those
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:53 No.5386516
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    depends on if the rival is doing the sacrificing or not
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:53 No.5386517

    A wand that polymorphs normal nonmagical rats into normal nonmagical puppies.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:54 No.5386531
    braving perils and dungeons alike, you find yourself on quest to obtain a rare and powerful artifact that is key to the ongoing survival of the world.

    In an unexpected twist, this artifact is actually a magical essence passed down the bloodline of humanity, randomly appearing strongly in one person every century.

    Sadly, this time it's a woman. Do you save her and risk the world or give her to the forces of the universe for the greater good of all on the planet?
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:55 No.5386540
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    did that, but it was ferrets to kittens

    and the eyes in this one make me sad
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:57 No.5386560
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    Just to spite you, the BBEG fattened up the damsel beyond belief. She's unconscious when you rescue her. Good luck, soldiers.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)22:58 No.5386568
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    I like it!

    now to shoehorn it into my DM files
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:01 No.5386595
    Simple let her choose if she choose to be used for the greater good no problem, if she choose to live try to convince her about how one life can save millions, if that fails well sorry lady I have to do it, you will hate me and I'll receive the hate of many even thou I just save their lives it is something I can live with and endure.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:01 No.5386600
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    then hes an evil bastard,
    can we fit her into a Hewards handy haversack with an uncorked bottle of air?

    somehow I count this as in distress, what with PERILS OF THE WARP
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:01 No.5386601
    You’ve truly proven yourself worthy of my respect adventurers. I did not think that you would come back alive from my previous task, but you have earned my respect. I have another quest for you to undertake…it is a very personal task, and I promise the reward will be great. I need you to find a suitable husband for my daughter.

    Now there's a quest for ya.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/08/09(Sat)23:03 No.5386614

    I cast Flesh to Stone. I hack away unnecessary parts. Then Stone to flesh and bring the remainder back.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:07 No.5386653

    Actually cutting away the extra mass might easily result in her having gaping wounds or scars afterwards. Might I recommend Shape Stone instead?
    >> Ghost !4u16FlNpwo 08/08/09(Sat)23:07 No.5386656
    Do it Troy style

    The party has a limited amount of time to return damsel back to her homeland or else a giant fucking war will start.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/08/09(Sat)23:08 No.5386669

    Man I'm just hired to hit things to death. I'll let you guys worry about the technicalities.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:08 No.5386670
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    The 'damsel in distress' is a half-celestial, maybe the only one in existence. She's also the figurehead of the world's most prominent good-aligned religion.

    A huge cult has built up around her, fanatically devoted to her safety, and leaving her a prisoner in her own home. She wants to be freed so she can continue working as she did before being chained to a pedestal, surrounded by pomp and ritual.

    you only have to sneak into one of the most heavily fortified buildings on the planet and get declared burn-on-sight heretics by all the good clerics and paladins of the world.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:08 No.5386678
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    "and what a question it is good man, what selection criteria do you have?"

    and is it me or can you easily imagine a speech bubble in this pic reading "can you help me...please"
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:13 No.5386724
    After prompting the question the king would go into a very long winded speech about how the PC's must find a man of virtue and pureness. It would eventually dawn on the party that they need to find a paladin to satisfy the outrageous demands that he is making.

    What to do, what to do.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:15 No.5386738
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    Screw the paladins, rescue that girl. Always rescue the girl.

    Old Man: "You ever done this sort of thing before?"
    Rincewind: "Done what?"
    Old Man: "Charge in. Kill the priests. Grab the treasure. Rescue the girl?"
    Rincewind: "No... No I haven't."
    Old Man: "You do it like this."
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/08/09(Sat)23:17 No.5386756
    They wouldn't count as good anymore by that point.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:17 No.5386758
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    tell Ted, our paladin to offer
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:29 No.5386854
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:40 No.5386933
    The king reluctantly agrees after some convincing that Ted the paladin is truly what he says he is. He brings his daughter out to meet her new husband. Upon seeing her the whole party is struck by how beautiful she is. Ted the paladin gets a very bad feeling about marrying her, on the grounds that she seems to be giving off a demonic aura. She seems nice enough, and none of you have ever heard of any sort of slayings in the area that would make you think there is a succubus around here, but Ted is still getting a demonic vibe from her.

    OHSHI- Succubus creepin' around here...or not?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/08/09(Sat)23:43 No.5386955
    He smites her with his penis.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:45 No.5386973
    and becasue I'm a nice DM he wont even fall, so long as he smites her in the missionary position
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:45 No.5386978

    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:45 No.5386980

    If she doesn't notice, all is good. If her vagina is destroyed in a flash of Holy Fire then you know she was a demon and have to break the news of her death and replacement to the king.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:48 No.5387002
    "The damsel in distress is usually in hock to the dragon."
    >> No Man 08/08/09(Sat)23:49 No.5387008

    Where's my picture about how a redeemed succubus looks the same, but in a catholic schoolgirl outfit?
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:49 No.5387010
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    > vagina is destroyed in a flash of Holy Fire

    I hate it when that happens.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:50 No.5387016
    >but Ted is still getting a demonic vibe from her

    Does that mean he used Detect Evil?

    Even then it really doesn't matter all that much if she pings evil. Get something that'll let you see what she TRULY looks like.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:51 No.5387023
    The party finds a still girl lying about a large room of a dungeon, a finely shaped young woman decorated in fine, intricate tattoos. A small device in the room happens to wake her, revealing shining gold eyes. After a small introduction, she follows the party around as a walking encyclopedia of sorts.

    Plot reveals later that she is the ultimate creation of a lonely articifer of much reknown who only wanted a child of his own to care for and love. It is found that she possesses the works and knowledge on how to boost the technology of the world and bring it to the next level, so to speak.

    Greedy men wish to exploit her for personal gain, governments wish to study her to advance their societies. All she wants is to be left alone, and begin the process that would make her into a real, mortal woman, as her creator had planned for. Does the party sell her for profit, or do they honor her wishes, potentially destroying that knowledge?

    ...Now that I think about it, that sounds too Macguffin-y and a bit wonky regarding the encylopedia of technology and her wishes to be a real girl.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:52 No.5387036
    This whole thing made me laugh quite profusely, but I just can't see a paladin doing this. I was pretty sure that pally's had a vow of celebacy. Lets just go with Detect Evil instead okay?
    As it turns out, you cannot sense any evil within the princess, she's apparently just a very attractive young lady. The demonic presence you sense is still emanating from her, but you can't tell if it's her, something she's wearing, or just an illusion.

    The king eagerly asks the party when he can expect them to get married.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:52 No.5387039
    >succubus looks the same, but in a catholic schoolgirl outfit

    Oh wow...somehow I never combined these two fetishes of mine until now. Thanks.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/08/09(Sat)23:54 No.5387057
    Smite her with a pillow. Anything evil about her should reveal itself pretty fast after that.
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:56 No.5387070
    >Does the party sell her for profit, or do they honor her wishes, potentially destroying that knowledge?

    Seeing as how I'm playing a paladin at the moment I'd fight tooth & nail for her to pursue her & her late "father's" wishes.

    >I was pretty sure that pally's had a vow of celebacy

    Not unless...

    1) The player includes it himself
    2) The DM's a dick
    3) They took that feat in the Book of Exalted Deeds
    >> Anonymous 08/08/09(Sat)23:59 No.5387090
    Nothing in a Paladin's vows ever said anything about them not being able to get laid. They just can't be evil. Unless you're saying sex is evil, in which case, I have to ask if you're one of those crazy religious nuts.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:03 No.5387124
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    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)00:04 No.5387131
    Well, I was unaware of that, thanks for the clarification.
    The party dances around the question, promising that a wedding will be soon, but they need to consult the local priests for schedules, costs and other such things. The king seems to be too happy to realize that he is the king and could easily cut through all this red tape. He promises to reward the party with whatever they wish on the day of the wedding.

    Ted politely asks the king for some private time with his bride to be. The king gives you a sly smile and asks "Karen" to show you to her room. Upon arriving at the room she closes the door behind her. Ted immediately grabs one of the pillows on the bed and delivers a mighty blow to her face.

    Karen giggles and says that she grew out of pillow fights when she was 7. She seems unaffected by the smiting pillow. She's still giving off some kind of demonic aura. What do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:04 No.5387136
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    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:06 No.5387146
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    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:06 No.5387151
    is her mother in the castle? perhaps her mother was a succubus or some shit
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:08 No.5387164

    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:08 No.5387167
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    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:09 No.5387170
    cram the entire pillow up her cooch, like an overstuffed travel bag
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:11 No.5387180

    >What do you do now?

    Could try simply explaining the sensing of the aura & ask her if she knows anything about it. If she doesn't, ask her father.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)00:11 No.5387188
    Oho, we have a smart one here.
    You ask Karen if her mother is home. She says that her mother is asleep in one of the higher towers of the castle, but she seems confused and also asks you why you want to see her mother. Didn't you just want to have some private time with her?

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

    The king asks the remaining party members what they'll want as a reward, remarking that he was caught off guard by how fast they were able to find him a suitor for his daughter, and did not have time to do the adequate shopping for them. Ask away oh mighty adventurers.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)00:12 No.5387196
    FYI, I'm going to go with the first response that isn't retarded. Just saying.

    Looking at you mister "Stuff it in her cooch."

    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:14 No.5387220
    Switch it off & ask her if she's ok. If she is: offer to turn it back on for her. If not: get her loose and take her back to her home.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:16 No.5387248
    The mightiest gear they can provide. Class-appropriate of course.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:17 No.5387249
    I tell her I am just interested in meeting the person who raised her ( in an attempt to investigate with out being insulting and implying her mother may be a demon whore)
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:18 No.5387256
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    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:22 No.5387297
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    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)00:26 No.5387338
    Going with these then.

    Karen rolls her eyes and tells you that she's nothing special. Everyone who comes to the castle always wants to meet her mother after they meet her, and she doesn't understand why. She asks you if you have to go see her now or if there's time for the two of you to "get to know each other better," with a sly wink and a smile. You find her offer very tempting, but you can say no if you wish to, and I mean, if she's only a half succubus you only lose half your soul right?
    Well, the king sizes you up and tells the party that he doesn't have any really high quality armor. He looks around, and leans in close, whispering to you and your party so that the guards can;t hear. He tells you that he cuts corners on the military budget because he likes to spoil his wife. He chuckles and says that he can take a bit out of his vacation fund to help the adventurers who found a husband for his little princess. He tells you to go get whatever you want out of the treasury, but, "Don't be stupid about it. I still have a country to run here."

    Wait for ted? Go to the treasure room now? Find mother? Fuck daughter?

    Choices choices.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:31 No.5387397
    I say to her, if we are going to be together we need to be able to trust one another and then I explain my concerns about her aura
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)00:38 No.5387455
    She seems confused by your explanation. Apparently no one has ever told her about it before. She thinks about it for a moment, and then remembers that you mentioned that you couldn't tell if it was coming from her or something she was wearing. Before you can protest, or agree with her for that matter, she strips her clothes off and walks over to you. "Can you sense anything demonic now?"

    As a matter of fact, you can. You can tell that she is definately the source of that demonic presence. You can also tell that she is very attractive. With her clothes off, it's even harder to say no to her, but you feel that, with a bit of effort, and a cold shower later, you will be able to say no and go visit her mother.

    Author's Note: As long as one person is readin' this, I may as well keep writing. I've got nothin' better to do. What now, oh faithful reader?
    >> No Man 08/09/09(Sun)00:39 No.5387461

    This. "I apologize for trying to avoid the question, but you're setting off my Paladin Senses. Do you happen to know of, be related to, or be an extra-planar being?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:42 No.5387487
    Pally senses...TINGLING!
    >> No Man 08/09/09(Sun)00:43 No.5387501

    >> No Man 08/09/09(Sun)00:47 No.5387521

    "...did your mother happen to be an Extraplanar-American?"
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:52 No.5387553
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:53 No.5387561
    Well, I haven't gotten a suggestion for what to do next.

    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:53 No.5387562
    I bite my knuckles, hard. then explain it seems to be coming from her, and that my curiosity is piqued as to the source
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:54 No.5387574
    Go and ask the King if he's been boning fiends, or if anyone related to his daughter has. She could be half-fiend, or a tiefling.
    >> No Man 08/09/09(Sun)00:57 No.5387599

    Wait. Is this kingdom evil? Nothing pinged us on the way here?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)00:58 No.5387606
    If by DM fiat I am unable to resist her, I finger her in an effort to keep my soul, hoping if it is not full out intercourse I will survive
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)00:59 No.5387614
    Biting your knuckles seems to help, but you are still aware that a very striking girl is standing painfully close to you without anything on. This may be harder than you though it would be.

    Karen seems put out. She seems visibly disapointed that you are still in full plate armor while she is quite naked. She says that you can go if you really want to, find your friends and ask a guard where to find her and it most likely wont be a poblem. She gives you one last look with her puppy dog eyes.

    You can taste blood in your mouth from biting down so hard on your knuckles. Or perhaps you have a nosebleed, you can't really tell.

    Now qhat?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:01 No.5387625
    I require some form of source for this.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:01 No.5387628
    I ask her isn't she curious? and if she isn't I ask her why not
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:02 No.5387637
    Get your wizard to cast Locate City.

    Fuck this shit. Thinking is too HAAAAAARD!
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:02 No.5387642

    Say that it doesn't feel right to bed her before you're bound in wedlock - you're old school traditional like that. Politely tell her that she is extremely attractive, and that you will have to leave now, lest you lose your senses. Go and find her mum.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:05 No.5387666
    vow of celibacy

    it should work...
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:08 No.5387687
    Ask her who her mum is.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:11 No.5387717

    looks abashed and away...
    "I have to go to a locksmith to remove my chastity garment"
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)01:14 No.5387735
    Combo of these two then.
    You ask her whether or not she's curious about the origin of her demonic aura. She responds by telling you she never noticed it so it can't be that bad. She lays down on her bed and apparently gives up on trying to sleep with you. She lets out a long sigh and tells you to come back when you're done visiting her mother.

    You tell her in a very polite fashion that she is extremely attractive, and that you are having a very hard time saying no to her. She smiles at you as you walk out the door and blows you a kiss as you close it.
    Time to find her mother! How will you go about it?
    YOUR PARTY HAS NO WIZARD. He was eaten by kobolds.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:16 No.5387754
    >Party w/o Wizard

    OH SHIT.

    Roll up one ASAP! THEN cast Locate City...
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:17 No.5387769
    my outer limits sense is tingling, If I fuck her I am fucked for being imprudent, and if I go see her mother something horrible will happen to me for exercising caution based out of bigotry
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)01:17 No.5387777
    A wizard walks up to you and akss if he can join you in your quest for glory. You reach out your hand to shake his and introduce yourself, but as you do, rocks fall and he dies.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)01:19 No.5387788
    Author's note: You're not fucked either way. You're fucked if you do something stupid.
    >> Subprocessor 416 08/09/09(Sun)01:20 No.5387796
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    I loudly assert that jews are responsible and continue to look for the maidens mother
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:20 No.5387801
    I try to be charismatic as possible and try to get info from a guard/castle attended about both the daughter and mother.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:26 No.5387845
    I approach the king and say where I am from it wouldn't be proper for me to get married with out the approval of the bride to be's mother and that I would like to meet her. (whether my character is lying about the custom I am unsure, seems to convenient if I can just pull shit out of my ass like that for it not to be a lie)
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)01:27 No.5387862
    As you loudly exclaim that the jews are responsible a guard turns to you and asks you what you mean by that. You look down and notice that there is no longer a wizard or a pile of rocks. Huh...that was weird. Anyhoo.

    You ask the guard in a nonchalant manner what he knows about the queen.

    He sighs and looks upward, he retells you stories abound of her majesty's beauty and how she is well known throughout the country as the most stunning woman anyone has ever seen. He then expresses his jealousy of the king to you, but sheepishly asks you don't tell anyone.
    Hmm, apparently the queen is a smoking hotty. It's not like you couldn't tell from her daughter. Do you want to ask teh guard anything else? Or are you heading out to find her now? Or hell, do you want to go back to the princess and ask her anything?

    What to do, what to do...

    also, sorry for being so slow.
    >> Subprocessor 416 08/09/09(Sun)01:31 No.5387914
    I express that he shouldn't be jealous, the king has assloads of very boring paperwork.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:31 No.5387924
    a paranoid thought nags my mind, maybe the princes is the queen and the king is trying to pawn her off in some you poked it you bought it scheme. I drive the thought out of my head for being stupid by humming a childrens song
    >> No Man 08/09/09(Sun)01:33 No.5387943

    'beauty' isn't the descrition I'm looking for, copper. Height, hair color, eye color, distinguishing facial features, etc.

    Alternatively, it's not the princess that was replaced by demons. Happy, absentminded king? Smoking hot queen?
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)01:39 No.5388026
    These two then.

    With a bit of a chuckle you tell the guard that the king most likely has a lot of paperwork that he has to deal with on a daily basis. The guard snickers and says "Yeah, well, If I could have a piece of what he was having every night, something tells me I could make it through the paperwork." You roll your eyes and make your way back to the king's chamber.

    Your party is still there and they're apparently talking to the king about the reward for marrying you to the princess. You catch the king say something about not being stupid, and that he has a kingdom to run.

    You walk up to him and he gives you a sly look and asks why you are back so quickly. You pretend to not get what he means and say that you would like to meat your wife to be's mother. The king looks pensive for a moment and says that you're request is reasonable. He motions for on of the guards to take you to the queen's room. Your party heads off in another direction, towards a hallway with a sign that says "Treasurey".
    Got any final things to do before meeting her majesty?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:39 No.5388028
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    here OP
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:41 No.5388051
    do I have a DETECT EVIL spell handy.

    I did plan on speaking with a politician(s) today after all

    get it ready.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:42 No.5388065
    gang rape

    you are doing it wrong
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:43 No.5388067
    Go back to King.

    Explain aura.

    Ask to meet Queen.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:45 No.5388093
    I go back to the daughter and ask her about the people who go to see her mother after they meet her
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:46 No.5388104
    >>5388026 and say that you would like to meat your wife to be's mother
    I like where this typo is headed
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:47 No.5388115
    You're/we're a paladin. We ALWAYS have Detect Evil.

    AT WILL.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:48 No.5388133
    never played a pally, also never played 4e so no experience of AT WILL
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)01:50 No.5388150
    You mentally prepare yourself for the meeting with the queen. Keep on your toes man, don;t forget what you sensed from her daughter!

    You arrive at the queen's chambers and the guard opens the door for you. You walk inside and the first thing you notice is how lavish it is. It is easily the most luxurious room you have ever seen. There's silk and diamonds everywhere you look. In the very back of the room there is fairly normal sized bed with a lady in it. She appears to be reading a book and has not noticed you enter yet.

    You decide that now would be a good time to see if she is evil. You try and gauge the level of corruption within the woman, and can find no trace of evil, but is quite clear to you that she's a demon. You can tell that she's a succubus, I mean, the evidence is overwhelming, right? But she's not evil. This is quite a dilemna for you. What do you do?
    Muahahahaha! BTW: I am not accepting CLEAVE AND SMITE as a viable answer. I really am in no mood for combat right now. This is a thinking story! =P

    Once again, sorry for being so slow.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:52 No.5388170
    Who needs cleave and smite? We can still choke a bitch to death real easy.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:53 No.5388182

    still need source
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:54 No.5388184

    "excuse me, your a demon correct?"
    if answer is yes
    "should I worry at all about marrying your daughter?"

    if answer is no
    (give logical explanation as to why you believe otherwise and ask again)

    if answer is subterfuge of any kind
    "I would like a yes or no answer here."
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:54 No.5388187
    Nothing to do with 4E.

    Paladin has Detect Evil AT WILL in 3E.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:56 No.5388203
    I figure she knows I am there any ways and is just waiting for a reaction from me. So I stand up straight and rap on the door frame to get her attention and wait for a response so I can further weigh her actions
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:57 No.5388213
    regardless I've never played a paladin before
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:57 No.5388216
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    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)01:58 No.5388221
    I don't think Lovecraftian horrors count as damsels in distress.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:02 No.5388260
    Yeah, I got that the first time you posted it. I was clarifying the Detect Evil thing.

    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:02 No.5388273
    ah, thank you then.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:03 No.5388286
    I feel like "distress" is one of those emotions that even eldritch horrors from beyond space and time are likely to exhibit every now and then, although usually not for any reason mere mortals could comprehend.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:08 No.5388331
    You walk up to the side of the queen's bed and prepare to ask her your question. You're struck by how plain she is to you. She's not unatractive, but she isn't mind blowingly hot. This is the strangest succubus you've ever met.

    You say something to the effect of sorry to disturb you miss, but i have a question to ask you.

    She looks up from her book and tells you to ask away.

    "Ma'am, are you a demon?"

    She laughs someone quietly to herself and asks you what makes you think she's a demon. You tell ehr about her daughter and ehr lack of demonic clothing or items, and what you've heard from the guards about her, and yet when you look at her she's not nearly as enrapturing as you expected. You then tell her that you're a paladin and that you can sense ehr demonic aura. You ask her again, "Are you a demon?"

    She nods and tells you yes, she admits to being a succubus.

    "Should I be worried about marrying your daughter."

    She seems confused for a moment and then i seems to dawn on her. She shakes her head and says to herself "Oh you renard...No, you have nothing to worry about from her. She's completely harmless. She's just inherited the same feminine charms that I have. I'm sure you can tell by now that I'm not evil, and neither is my daughter. My mother was a succubus who seduced and angel. Sounds unbelievable, but here I am. She has no idea herself, and I didn;t feel the need to tell her. She's not going to eat your soul if she sleeps with you, it'll just be a lot better than normal."
    Do you have a response for her? What do you do next?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:10 No.5388348
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    OP's topic is highly fucking relevant to my interests. I'll provide the closest I've got, but I hereby scream for MOAR loud enough to blow out nearby windows.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:11 No.5388356
    Kill the queen who is likely named Mary Sue and proceed to take the daughters hand in marriage.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:11 No.5388357
    Thank her. Call her 'mom'.

    Head back to princess' room to figure out date.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:11 No.5388360
    "Thank you for your time miss."

    Then go back to the daughter, apologize for the behavior but explain that it was necessary. Then "get to know her better". In all senses of the term.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:12 No.5388366
    3rding sauce
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:13 No.5388385
    she seems fairly forth coming and matter of fact about it all, so I attempt to politely broach her seductiveness or lack of it to me, there seems like there is something there
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:15 No.5388393
    These two then.
    You seem a little surprised by what she has to say, but you're sure she isn't lying, and it even makes sense. You thank her for her time saying "Well, it's good to know what's going on around here, thanks for your time Mom."

    She laughs as you close the door behind you.
    Ending coming soon. I have to think a bout it for a minute. Feel free to post suggestions. I'll read them.

    Sorry sorry sorry.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:19 No.5388428
    Marriage occurs.

    Baby making occurs.

    Many HIGH-ASS CHARISMA kids are had. Awesome paladins & sorcerers, all.

    Kingdom prospers with consequential gain in power.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:20 No.5388445
    It is beautiful to see a setup like this that doesn't end in SHE TEARS OUT YOUR HEEEEAAAARRRRRTTTT!
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:21 No.5388454
    can a demon steal you soul if you give it over in marriage? It is a contract of it's own so if you wait to sleep with her will until then will she be bound by the expectations it entails?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:24 No.5388484
    Calm down, it hasn't ended yet.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:31 No.5388557
    If anyone likes the Quest in this thread, google "Tales of Wyre". You'd like it, hasn'/tg/otacluefag.

    Mmmm, also archived on suptg.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:31 No.5388565
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    Then when you arrive, the daughter is sacrificing the evil arch rival
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:33 No.5388582
    Okay im back, ending coming in soon. Sorry for teasing.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:37 No.5388623
    You walk back downstairs thinking about what your birde to be's wife said to you. Hmm...well...it doesn't seem like a bad ending to your story. Marry the succubus angel girl and have a damn good time with her for the rest of your life. It could have gone a lot worse.

    You open the door to karen's bedroom and walk in to see her surrounded by your party with their various weapons drawn. She's backed into a corner and crying. There seems to be a priest that you don't remember being in your group present in the room. as you walk in Karen notices you and yells "Please don't let them hurt me! I never did anything wrong!"

    The party turns to you, as well as the priest.
    What to do?
    Surprise! No ending yet!

    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:39 No.5388655
    bellow WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! in an effort to draw attention to me and stall any bloodshed. hopefully I have some epic glowing holy light rage emanating from me
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:41 No.5388674
    Demand the group sheath their weapons immediately. Bloodshed of a defenseless creature is against my morals, and there's no way I'm going to allow them to carve up a defenseless entity, regardless of the situation. Plus, she's my bride to be, what the fuck, who do these guys think they are?

    Make them fess up who the priest is and why he's here. Make them all explain the situation and apologize to your bride-to-be immediately. If possible, make them get the fuck out of the room.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:41 No.5388682
    This. Generate Rage-Light through force of will if need be.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:47 No.5388733
    You yell at the top of your lungs "What in the name of God is going on here?!" You try your best to seem imposing. You call upon your god to give you strength, and the room brightens slightly, you assume it is because you have begun to glow slightly.

    Karen scampers past the party and the priest to hide behind you, she grabs your arm for support while she stands, shivering, behind you.

    This seems to enrage the priest. "DON'T LET THAT FILTHY CHILD TOUCH YOU, YOU'LL BE CORRUPTED!"

    He waves his holy symbol at you, a staff with a small silver X on the end of it and approaches you.
    What in the hell? What is this i dont even
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:47 No.5388736
    What was said above.

    Also put myself in between party and girl, and flare up aura of rage / anima banner / righteous anger lights.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:48 No.5388758
    Side note: Your party has yet to be defined, so I'm going to let the next person to post one have it.

    You have 4 other members. Classes are up to you, Im going to assign them character traits so dont take too long with that list. And dont be a tard about it.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:50 No.5388767
    I say to him, we are both men of the light here (I presume) could you explain what is going on?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:50 No.5388769
    Figther, rogue, bard, cleric
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:51 No.5388780
    Changeling Rogue
    Eladrin Swordmage
    Gnome Warlock (fey pact)
    Dragonborn Fighter
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:51 No.5388781

    Unsheathe weapon (I'll leave it up to someone else) and point it at the "priest" and tell him to stay back.

    Ask other party members what is going on.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:55 No.5388824
    Good men, here we go!
    "We're both men of light here, would you care to explain to me what is going on?"

    He snarls at you and stands inches from you with his staff at his side. He seems to be seething with rage for Karen, as he spits out the following words.

    "She is some sort of bastard devil child. I can sense the evil in her. Has she put you under some kind of spell? Can you not tell she is a monster?"

    Your cleric informs you that they performed a ritual just now to determine whether or not she was a demon, a magic circle ritual, and she was unable to pass through it.

    The priest spits at her and asks you how you can defend such an abomination.
    How do you go about this situation?
    Also, should I start up another thread for this?
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)02:57 No.5388851
    Sorry mate, I'm actually going to have to go with the next guy's suggestion. I'm going to keep your cleric, but I'm taking his classes as well. Cleric is human.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)02:58 No.5388857
    Another thread would be nice. Provide link.

    Gesture at the rogue that he can go ahead and knock this guy unconscious for me, and we'll keep this nice and quiet. We'll deposit him at the nearest temple of his faith, explain that he drank too much and was calling people demons, and fell unconscious. The rogue can be the one to do the talking, he's allowed to lie. I can't.
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)03:00 No.5388879
    Can do then. Gimme a minute.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:02 No.5388888
    I say I can not in good conscience slay a creature I have seen commit no wrongdoing. Do you have any evidence of malignancy or malice? or is this pure presumption because of her nature?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:02 No.5388897
    >>5388857 he can lie, I can't
    Are paladins allowed to use others to lie for them?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:07 No.5388934
    Pretty much, yeah. Unless your DM's a dick.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:07 No.5388941
    In my campaigns, Paladins are allowed to suggest such courses of action as long as it's for a good cause, and they aren't the ones doing it, but TBH this question totally depends on the DM.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:13 No.5388992
    new thread is
    >> Failure of a DM 08/09/09(Sun)03:13 No.5388997
    Here you are guys.

    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:31 No.5389158
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    Whoops, got distracted by X-Com.

    I was having trouble with aliens landing with intent to terrorize until I remembered something I learned playing Halo on Legendary difficulty. When you're up against superior aliens that outnumber you and laugh at your weapons, there's just one thing to do.

    Rocket beats Alien. Every time.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:50 No.5389313
    DOmenstarte the effect (or lack there of) of a smiting pillow
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:51 No.5389327

    Chryssalid says otherwise in a big way.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)03:58 No.5389387
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    I don't know what those are, but hopefully I'll have something like a rocket launcher that fires lightsaber chainsaws or some shit like that ready by the time they show up.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)04:00 No.5389412
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    Don't worry, he's just joshing, Chryssalids go down like flies.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)04:01 No.5389413
    >>Don't know what those are


    My good sir, you ain't seen nothing 'til you've hit either a snakemen Alien Base assault or a Night Terror Mission with snakemen... Chryssalids... You will fear chryssalids.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)04:09 No.5389465
    so back to dnd?
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)04:12 No.5389480

    We are going to have fuuuun with you.

    Protip: Don't. EVER. Get attached to your X-Com soldiers. You're going to lose someone on your mission. And you're going to lose an awful lot more if you encounter Chryssalids. Oh... Chryssalids... In a terror mission. Even one... Then, thirteen civilians later, you're in a whole heaping mess of trouble, son.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)04:14 No.5389490
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    >My good sir, you ain't seen nothing 'til you've hit either a snakemen Alien Base assault or a Night Terror Mission with snakemen... Chryssalids... You will fear chryssalids.

    ... well I WAS going to get the European base rolling, but now I'm sinking that money into research resources to make very very big guns. o_o
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)04:23 No.5389550
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    >Protip: Don't. EVER. Get attached to your X-Com soldiers.

    That'll be a problem, because I'm the kind of person who likes to go through entire Starcraft missions without losing a single marine. I figured out early on that a lot of your recruits just suck dead gophers, however.

    Got fed up with it last terror mission, and decided to get some use out of the lousy bastards. Had them prime grenades and then charge into close quarters with the enemy. They died, then the grenades went off.

    Fittingly enough, we were defending Bhagdad...
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)05:05 No.5389876

    How appropriate. That's awesome.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)09:21 No.5391493
    Hate to put this into a whole different territory but , wouldnot the majority of TG agree that all males want some sort of damsel in distress in the real world? whether it be in the form of rescue from a abusive relationship or some other type of thing.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)09:41 No.5391607
    ..Check for Traps.

    I might be a White Knight, but I'm not crazy.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)12:37 No.5392600
    we is off topic as hell.
    >> Anonymous 08/09/09(Sun)15:55 No.5394175
    I've played that one.
    The awesome twist is that for quite a part of it we thought it was our nemisis trying to sacrafice her.
    Then he burst in on something we were doing, shooting lightning, fire and rage. Grabbed the cultist we were interrogating, lifted him face to face and shouted "WHERE'S MY GOD DAMN DAUGHTER YOU SON OF A BITCH! TELL ME OR I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE PAIN FOR ETERNITY!!"
    We ended up teaming up in a very arkward tag team to save her and the party leader ended up marrying her, burying the hatchet between us and our nemisis for good.
    Yeah, our GM is great when he's on form.

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